


The Dimension Where Only I Am Missing

by Lilyliegh



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: (the healthy kind all right), Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Drama, Epic Friendship, Eventual Happy Ending, Family, Family Feels, Friendship, Gen, Injury Recovery, Kidnapping, Mother-Son Relationship, Murder, Rescue, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-11 09:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 67
Words: 306,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11711466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilyliegh/pseuds/Lilyliegh
Summary: Sakaki Yuuya is a young manga artist with the ability to "rerun" - the power to jump back in time to prevent terrible, often fatal, consequences. When a serial kidnapping case taking place 18 years ago is re-opened, Yuuya must rerun through time to save his friends and prevent the same fate from happening.Based on the series Erased/Boku dake ga Inai Machi.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this story is based on the manga plotline of Erased/Boku Dake ga Inai Machi. if you've seen the anime, most of the earlier chapters will seem familiar, but the manga has a different ending from the anime. please note Reira uses both 'he/him' and 'she/her' pronouns. the mature rating is for the violence/abuse, kidnapping, and murder - please take care of yourself while reading <3  
> updates are on Tuesdays & Fridays!  
> thank you!

_It’s not enough._

Yuuya looks down at the manga in his hands, then back at the publisher. The man is being kind, telling him that the art is lovely and the story is compelling, but that it still lacks something.

_It lacks you._

What does that mean? How can he put _himself_ in a story that isn’t targeted at him, but instead at youth who will be reading the manga? He’s not supposed to be in the story in the first place! He’s the writer, the entertainer – but he’s no protagonist. No one would want to read a story about a lonely mangaka trying to make a living off of his artwork while also working part-time at a pizza delivery place. There isn’t a single part of him that is worth putting on paper.

Yuuya looks up at the man. He’s several years older than Yuuya, who at 28 is barely an adult in anyone’s mind. The publisher looks to have been in the field for several decades. He’s probably seen hundreds of mangas in his career, turned away far more than he’s accepted. To the publisher, Yuuya is only a candidate in a game. His goal is to entertain the publisher and surprise him enough that his manga is worth being on the market.

In this game, Yuuya has lost.

He gathers up his belongings and clutches them tight to his chest, as if they could be ripped away from him.

“I’ll keep at it …” Yuuya says, not meeting the man’s eyes. Isn’t that what the publisher wants to hear? More candidates, more mangas, more profit … Yuuya is just a means to an end, and no matter how great his work will be, he’ll always be striving towards higher goals.

The publisher thanks him for his time, all smiles and cheerful humour that belie the graveness of the situation.

“Do you need help finding your way out?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “I’ll manage. Thank you, sir.”

The walk out of the building is one of shame. Yuuya hangs his head as he passes doors and hallways leading to the offices and studios at the publishing company. Everyone in this building is dressed to the nines, making him appear dull and lifeless. Tall posters scream out the names of hit new manga. There are even anime adaptions – that’s a dream for any mangaka!

Yuuya wonders if he’ll ever see his manga on the walls of this company. It’s been his dream since he was a child to be a mangaka and create art for everyone. He’s been drawing ever since he was little – no formal classes because he couldn’t afford it, but hard work put into studying art and motion. When you have a dream, you should work towards it – that was what his mother always said.

_But it’s not enough._

He steps out into a street that passes him by. Yuuya feels like a ghost among the hundreds of people milling along the street. He stands there for a moment and wonders, _Will anyone notice me? Am I worth something to someone?_ But no one stops for him. Yuuya doesn’t even know if he has anyone to call and tell about his time at the publishing company. It’s not a good story, but at least he’d be able to share the pain with someone … anyone.

With a sigh, Yuuya begins his trek home. The worn soles of his shoes rub against the warm cement, leading him back to his meagre apartment. It’s a sunny day despite how gloomy he feels. He falls in line with the crowds heading towards the suburbs, manga still held to his chest.

Yuuya’s house is in a nice part of town, a quiet area with lots of apartments and condos nestled between green parks and rivers. If he didn’t feel so upset, he might’ve heard the birds singing, and his neighbours humming to a cheery tune; instead, Yuuya only hears the stomp of his feet as he heads up the metal stairs and makes his way to his door. He lives on the second floor of a building that holds only a few apartments. Turning the key, Yuuya steps into his house.

Shoes off at the genkan. Drop off manga on the desk. Yuuya’s body moves through the actions robotically, as if he’s repeated these actions a hundred times.

He shouldn’t feel so depressed. This is his first time submitting his manga to a publishing company. Often times mangaka have to go through dozens of publishers before someone takes their work, and even then the contract between publishers and mangaka involves a lot of compromise for the artists. There will be more opportunities, and he could even re-apply to this particular company if he makes some changes to his work.

The heavy feeling is still there though.

The publisher told him that he couldn’t see Yuuya in his work. Yuuya’s face was hidden, unclear; he wasn’t putting enough of himself in his manga,

Yuuya flops down on the bed. Who’d want to see him? He’s not even sure who _he_ is somedays.

And at the same time … he’s scared.

How much does he truly know about himself?

_I’m afraid of putting myself on paper._

After all, if someone reads his work, do they truly want to know about him? What is there to know? Yuuya’s _afraid_ that what he is won’t meet up to the expectations of his future readers.

For a while, Yuuya lays on the bed, not move or thinking. His existence creeps in and out of the folds of reality, blurring at the edges. The publisher’s words echo in his mind and draw him back to reality. No matter what Yuuya does, he can’t turn that mental tape off. What draws him out of his misery though is his phone alarm going off to say he has ten minutes to throw himself together before his shift starts. With a heave, Yuuya hops to his feet, straightens out his messy, red-and-green hair, and heads out the door.

If his readers really want to know about him, they’ll be sorely disappointed.

Yuuya works at a pizza delivery place, Maiami Pizza. The shop is just a few blocks down from his apartment. There are a half-dozen delivery scooters parked out front of the white-stone shop. The big windows display several posters of deals for pizzas and meals, and a small sign on the door advertises part-time work positions. Overall, the building looks quite peaceful and demure.

Inside though, the shop floor is bustling. There are customers lined up at the register ordering; at one of the tables in the lobby a couple sits together enjoying a bite to eat. Behind the counter is an even busier space, employees scurrying around the floor. There are workers garnishing pizzas, others manning the ovens, and several delivery workers suiting up for their shift.

Yuuya is a delivery worker. He punches into the computer system, sets his bag down in the staff room, and grabs a helmet. There are orders along the walls awaiting delivery; Yuuya picks up the oldest one and carries it out to his scooter.

“Sakaki going out for a delivery,” he says, closing the snap of his helmet. The manager is nowhere in sight, though Yuuya supposes he might already know he’s heading out. The manager has eyes and ears everywhere; he’s a just, honest man who works hard and expects the same from his employees.

“Hiiragi here! Going out for a delivery!” another voice calls. There’s two steps behind him, and then, “Sakaki-kun!”

Hiiragi is a few years younger than him, a university student at MaiamiU. Her bright pink hair glistens in the sunshine under a thick, blue helmet. She cinches her helmet tight and drops off a delivery bag on her own cart. “Are you going out too, Sakaki-kun?”

Yuuya looks back at his pizza. It does look like it, he wants to say, but he keeps his mouth shut.

Noticing the awkward pause between them, Hiiragi flashes him with a bright smile. “Don’t eat the pizza on the way!”

Yuuya doesn’t even have words for _that._ He watches Hiiragi hop on her scooter and drive off. She waves back at him, and Yuuya awkwardly raises a hand. Why would he eat the pizza …? What did she even _mean_ by that?

“Odd girl …” he mutters, lip quirking up and down. It’s hard to smile when the words are still replaying in his mind.

He hops onto his bike and revs up the engine. He takes the motorcycle out of the parking lot and onto one of the major roads towards his delivery. Cool wind brushes against his cheeks; these helmets should come with visors. At the same time, the breeze keeps his mind centred on reality and not drifting into thoughts about his manga or about his many unsuccessful life events.

Hiiragi though … she stays in his mind. It’s hard to not focus on her when she has been a constant in his life ever since he got the job. He knows very little about her, and she knows even less about him, and still she always talks to him during their shifts. He doesn’t even know what she’s taking in school!

Yuuya pays attention to this thought for a while, and then lets it drift away. For as long as he can remember, Yuuya has had the ability to pay attention to specific details. Whether his mind just wants to repeat things or not, Yuuya knows what to look for, what details to remember. He thought this gift might help him in the manga industry. All around him, Yuuya’s eyes filter out insignificant details to focus on only what matters in that moment.

A kindergartener at the crosswalk.

A mother and child shopping at the markets.

A delivery truck.

Images cycle through Yuuya’s mind like the panels of a manga. He doesn’t know the full picture, but he has the pieces to put it together.

And then he jumps.

Yuuya’s mind is thrown back on itself, his heart jumping in his chest. He had been going down the road and making the last turn to his destination, but now he’s a minute or two behind and at a _different_ intersection … no, at an intersection he was once at. Yuuya looks around once again. When his mind jumps back, he knows there is danger somewhere. This is another one of Yuuya’s abilities: the power to turn back time, to replay through scenarios and spot the inconsistencies. He calls it a “rerun” because it’s not as if he’s turning back time and forgetting the past; no, instead he’s running through time again so he can change fate itself.

Yuuya’s eyes dart from one sidewalk to the next. Somewhere in this time, danger will appear. Something is wrong and he has to figure it out. It’s like a detective game where he knows all the clues and has to put them together. He spots the kid at the crosswalk, the family shopping, the truck driver –

The truck driver. As Yuuya’s scooter drives past the large, white delivery truck, he spots the man slumped over in his seat, eyes rolled back into his sockets. For a moment, Yuuya wonders where the truck is going. If it’s delivering, it will probably need to get off this road and turn towards one of the shops, which means …

The crosswalk.

Quickly, Yuuya dashes back to the kid standing at the sign. He can’t be much older than eight, dressed in a polo shirt and shorts and a bright yellow hat on his head. In his hand he holds a flag for crossing the street; it’s a safety precaution for small elementary schoolers, but even then he could still get hurt. Yuuya parks his bike on the road and approaches the young kid with a wave.

“Hey kid, I’ve got a favour to ask you! Can you cross this street, and then cross the road again? Just for today please.”

The kid looks up, eyebrows knit together. He’s probably wondering what Yuuya thinks he’s doing asking him to take a different route home from school; if Yuuya were that kid, he’d be thinking the same thing. However, the child just nods and listens to Yuuya’s instructions. Over his shoulder, he sees another scooter parked on the side of the road. The bright paintjob and style are unmistakably from Maiami Pizza, and only one co-worker of his would stop for him …

It’s Hiiragi. She’s close enough to be visible, pink hair sticking out of her helmet. He hopes she’s not in the middle of a delivery and just waiting around to ask him what he’s doing. She doesn’t say anything though, and Yuuya doesn’t give her a chance.

He spins around on his scooter and dashes off after the truck. With the wind blowing in his ears, he drives parallel to the truck. They’re going fast on the road, a bit over the speed limit. Yuuya knocks hard on the driver door of the truck. “Hey! Hey, you in the truck, stop!”

However, his words fall on deaf ears. As Yuuya slams his fist into the door for the third time, he rises up in his seat. It’s just enough of a lift that he can peek through the driver window and see into the vehicle. The man is passed out in his seat. A faint trail of drool slips out of his lips; his eyes are lolling around in their sockets. He’s unconscious, and Yuuya doesn’t have any time to think about why.

The truck hits a telephone pole on the passenger side, knocking the vehicle towards Yuuya. He swerves out of the way and returns to his place parallel to the delivery truck. There’s no way to wake the man up, he supposes. Furthermore, why is Yuuya involved? Why did he have to be involved? Why did fate entertain him in this game?

The truck comes at him.

Yuuya swerves out of the way. He doesn’t have a second to think.

A car hits his bike full-force. He’d been driving in the opposing lane, more focused on the unconscious truck driver than the traffic heading out of town. He’d been swerving too to avoid the truck, and as he tried to get out of the way another car had hit him.

Distantly, he registers that he’s falling. The impact hurts for a second. Then, something else flashes in his mind. It’s an old memory dug up from the vaults of his mind. In the memory, he’s a stumbling toddler heading towards a disappearing car. A woman takes his hand; he can’t see her face but he knows she is kind and safe, and he follows her –

Then his mind begins to jump, throwing memories together like they’re ingredients for a recipe. He sees his childhood friends – Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri – smiling up at him. He sees his childhood hero, Odd-Eyes Entertainer, a mysterious man with dichromatic eyes. He sees the fun he had as a young child, sees the goggles he once bought at a fair –

He sees Hiiragi. He sees his life now, a much smaller array of friends … no, just one friend, but Hiiragi is important nonetheless. She makes his work life a bit more entertaining, even if she’s quite the odd girl. It doesn’t matter if he’s lost all those friends now. He’s always been a bit of a lone wolf anyways …

Out of the corner of his vision a flash of white appears. When he turns, he’s looking out at a snowy landscape, ice crystals flecking his eyelashes. It suddenly feels colder; he’s stepped into winter. Standing by a barren tree is a figure with long, purple hair and a red scarf tied round their neck. They look up. Their eyes are soulless, bleak around the edges like the weather of the memory –

“You’re awake.”

Yuuya opens his eyes to a white ceiling, white walls, white blankets, white tubes running into his nose.

He’s in the hospital. Even with the tubes in his nose he can smell the disinfectant. The thin gown over him only hides the heart monitors stuck to his chest. There is still an IV in his arm and a blood pressure cuff on his _other_ arm, and all manner of equipment stuck onto him. Raising a shaky hand, Yuuya feels a band around his head with more wires.

The only colour in the room is Hiiragi. She sits on a small stool, hands tucked between her legs. Dressed in her pink and white uniform, she looks like she just came from school. When his eyes roll over towards her, she leans forward in her seat.

“Sakaki-kun! You’re awake! Do you know who you are and why you’re here?”

She’s well-meaning, but Yuuya knows _exactly_ who he is and why he’s here. Unfortunately, Hiiragi needs proof, so with a sigh Yuuya recites, “Sakaki Yuuya, 28 … and I got hit by a car while chasing a truck.”

Hiiragi raises a finger. “Right! The doctors say you are so lucky that you suffered no brain injuries, so you’ll be good to go in two or three days. You could’ve been seriously injured chasing that, you know?” Hiiragi pauses. “You must be wondering why I’m the one telling you this.”

“Um –”

Hiiragi cuts him off. “It’s because no one’s come to see you.”

Oh. When Hiiragi puts it so bluntly, Yuuya’s heart sinks a bit. Of course no one would come to see him – he has no one. He hasn’t talked to his mother in years. He hasn’t seen his friends in a decade. It’s not as if he intentionally pushed them away; rather, he seemed to drift away. Fate didn’t want him to have friends, he supposes. It’s the only logical explanation as to why, no matter who Yuuya meets, he can’t stay friends with them for long.

He wants to make others smile, but it’s a lost dream.

“Family? Girlfriend?” Hiiragi names them off like, at his age, he should have those things.

“No.”

Hiiragi is in his face before he can pull himself back. She’s off her seat and bent across his bed. Somehow she hasn’t caught herself in the wires all around him, though she seems particularly agile and quick on her feet. She brings two fingers close to his face and moves them like a pair of scissors – _snip, snip, snip._

“Sakaki-kun, you’re always behind a curtain. That’s why you won’t open your heart to others. Like don’t you ever smile or laugh? But you changed my opinion.” His eyebrows raise; it prompts her to continue. “You saved that kid, right? I was there when it happened too, but I don’t think you saw me. Anyways, I didn’t see anything wrong with that truck; the driver looked fine. You must have good eyes to know there was a problem and to react so quickly.

“After you got hit, the driver rammed into a warehouse. He was the only casualty. You saved that little boy, and by some miracle you survived too. The bike is wrecked, but don’t worry about it. The manager wants you to worry about resting up and getting better, and so you don’t need to pay the repairs.”

 _Good,_ Yuuya thinks. That would put a dent in his already-meagre savings.

The conversation comes to a lull. Hiiragi sits back down on the stool, hands holding her oval-shaped face. She looks at him, a warm smile crossing from one cheek to the next. It’s an honest, genuine smile, and it even gets Yuuya’s lips quirking up a bit.

“Ah, you smiled!”

_Ack, she noticed!_

Yuuya purses his lips; Hiiragi laughs.

“Hiiragi … why are you working part-time?”

“How bold of you,” Hiiragi teases. “No one’s ever asked me that before. But” – she smoothes down the creases in her plaited skirt – “I have a dream.”

It’s not answer Yuuya ever expected from Hiiragi. She’s a go-getter type of girl, but he didn’t expect such a thoughtful response from her.

And quick as a whistle, she asks, “Do you have a dream?”

Yuuya’s teeth sink into his lip. Day in and day out he draws panels in a manga that, despite its intriguing plot and diverse cast, doesn't have enough of _him_ in it. Between shifts he slaves away at a project that may never come to fruition. Like making people smile, it might be a hopeless dream. In fact, it’s such an embarrassing dream that Yuuya feels his cheeks growing hot; on the ECG machine he sees the line spike up for a second.

Hiiragi doesn’t seem enamored to hear his answer though. She looks up towards the ceiling and says, “Now that I’m done school, I’m saving money for my dream.” She looks down. Her features crash together then, and she’s off her seat once more. “Well aren’t you going to ask me about my dream? Aren’t you curious?”

Her face is close to his again, so Yuuya looks away. “Well, if you tell me your dream, won’t it be disappointing if you don’t achieve it?”

She leans back. “It’s not like I’d be embarrassed or anything.”

Yuuya would be.

“When I say words,” Hiiragi says, “it feels like they become real after they leave my lips.” In that moment, Hiiragi doesn’t seem so childish. She might be a few years his junior and, at times, living in a fantasy world, but those words ring true in Yuuya’s ears. He’s heard them before. Someone else who was wise once told him that saying, and he believed them. He’s not sure if he believes her now, but it’s good to hear that. In that moment, Hiiragi seems more mature than him.

“Well, if you asked about my dream I wouldn’t have told you anyway. We’re not _that_ close yet.”

And her maturity is gone. She stands and smooths her skirts, gathering her backpack at her feet. From the heat Yuuya can feel on his face, he is certain Hiiragi has gotten him blushing. She’s a mischievous girl.

“Get better soon! I think tomorrow your mom is coming – won’t that be nice of her? Well, take care!” She closes the door harder than she should. It shakes on its hinges, resulting in a bang so loud Yuuya wouldn’t be surprised if patients heard the noise three doors down.

_Odd girl._

Yuuya lets out a deep breath.

Hiiragi’s last words ring in his ears. _His mother is coming._ He hasn’t seen his mother in several years. From time to time she’ll call him on the phone and chat with him. She can see through any and all of his bluffs, and she’s even more of an entertainer than him. However, she is also the last person anyone wants at a hospital. She doesn’t have an ‘inside-voice’ and her help is rarely helpful … or if it is, it’s a hassle for her to help.

He should be nice. His mother always means well and has taken care of him. He can remember summer days when they went to festivals together. At festivals, she’d buy him treats and take him to see the fireworks. In the winter, she’d dress him up warm and play in the snow with him. She’d make curry for him and they’d have so much left over that they’d be eating it for a week afterwards. She never went over-the-top, but her presence was always present in his life.

His friends back then had been on the perimeters of his life. In elementary school he had classmates that he’d talk to. They’d help each other with their homework and eat lunch together. There was a group of them that claimed a secret fort by the river and filled it with prized belongings. Yuuto had founded it, Yuuri had decorated it, and Yuugo had made sure no one else got into it. They would spend their afternoon days in the fort, playing board games or going hunting.

Sometimes they were even detectives and spies, or hunters. Sometimes they made paper airplanes. Yuuya didn’t have any of the fancy RPG games or video games, but he loved hearing about Yuugo and Yuuri’s collections.

And on the far perimeter of his friend circle, there was a girl. Walking home from school, Yuuya remembers seeing a girl at the park, a lone-wolf like him. She was always at the same park after school by the same barren tree. She was warm, thankfully: her big, red scarf was so thick that, when wrapped around her face, it covered her smile.

 _Odd girl,_ Yuuya always thought.

Yuuya blinks, eyes to the white walls of the hospital room. He remembers that girl, remembers her sitting kitty-corner to him in class. Who was she, who was she …

Akaba Reira. That was her name. She never smiled or talked to anyone. She always ate her lunch by herself and never went out with friends. She was always alone too. Yuuya can’t remember a time where he saw Reira by himself. In fact, Yuuya doesn’t know much about Reira.

He remembers one fact about him though: he died.

Back then, he wasn’t the only one that died either. There had been a series of connected accidents. At the time, he hadn’t known about the web of mysteries leading to deaths.

Back then, Yuuya didn’t think he would hear the painful words he heard from Akaba Reira.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> note: brief mentions of vomiting in this chapter

_Someone’s mother is smiling._

It couldn’t have been his mother because Yuuya knows Yoko, while a rebellious soul, has a kind smile. This smile deters his. This smile pierces his heart and freezes his bones. Goosebumps form on his skin as he imagines the skin peeling back around her face, eyes cracking in the corners. He thankfully can’t see her eyes, but the image haunts him all the same. He never wants to see that face ever again.

He only sees that face a few times in passing. Sometimes, he walks to school on the main street, skipping down an icy path alongside the road busy with cars and trucks. He marvels at how alive the city is at that early hour when the sun is barely peeking over the mountains and rooftops. The city is never sleeping that early in the morning.

Sometimes, Yuuya walks by Reira’s house.

He does so today, stopping at the edge of her property. There are fresh footprints in the snow because today is garbage day, and the tracks lead to the edge of the road. The rest of the house is barren: no colour, no life. Rarely when Yuuya travels this way does he ever see any movement in the Akaba household. The mother with the chilling smile, the child with the soulless eyes. Sometimes, Yuuya wonders why he even travels this way. It isn’t like he’ll ever walk to school with Reira, or be friends with him.

He has an intuition though. Reira is _always_ alone.

Today, the lights in the house are all off. The blinds are drawn tight. Other than the snow tracks leading to the road, there isn’t any sign of life. For all Yuuya knows, the house is deserted.

It’s been ten days since Akaba Reira went missing. Maybe that’s why Yuuya has come today – to have another look at his classmate’s house. To think maybe Reira was just playing hooky and hiding in the park or in his bedroom. Yuuya doesn’t want to believe that Reira is missing. He’s alone at all times, and it would be easy … but no. Reira is smart and wouldn’t get lost.

Yuuya walks to the side of the property, peering in the back of the house. There’s a shed closed up tight and a small porch leading into the house; neither have footprints on them. If Reira went anywhere, it was before the last snowfall. Yuuya hasn’t been keeping track of that, so he heads back to the front of the house. Maybe he could knock on the door, though that might seem a bit suspicious to both Reira and his mother. They don’t talk in class – why would Yuuya of all people come here?

The door swings open again and Reira’s mother steps out. She’s still smiling, holding another small bag of garbage to set out for pick-up. She doesn’t say a word. As she passes him, she tilts her head. Her red bangs are rolled up in two pieces on either side of her head, and they’re so enormous that they create shadows over her forehead and eyes. Yuuya still can’t see her expression. She uses the same foot holes to walk there and back.

Yuuya swallows hard.

His eyes wander over to the garbage bag by coincidence. It’s a clear bag, and inside he can see some clothes. Not wanting to be too suspicious, he walks away from the property, looks over her house, and uses his peripherals to see the contents of the bag. There’s a lot of stuff squished inside: clothes, shoes, school uniform –

Reira.

There’s a name tag inside the bag that reads Akaba Reira.

The goosebumps on Yuuya’s arms grow goosebumps of their own. Every hair stands on end. His breathing becomes laboured, deep gasps rising up through his chest and coming out as wheezes from his dry lips. Never before has Yuuya felt such terror. It grounds him to the Akaba property; he can’t tear his eyes away from the terrible sight before him.

It’s only been ten days since Akaba Reira was deemed missing. Only ten days after her _own child went missing,_ her mother put his clothes in a garbage bag for collection. Did she not expect Reira to come home? Was she grieving? No, she wasn’t. Yuuya remembers the squirming smile she gave him as she dropped the garbage by the side of the road. She wasn’t grieving; she wasn’t sad. If anything, she looks _happy,_ like she was proud of what she was doing.

Yuuya’s eyes brim with tears. Her own child.

He runs. His body moves before he registers that he’s running through thick snow, stepping through Reira’s neighbours’ lawns. He doesn’t know where he is going, only that he must keep running. He must get far, far away from that evil place and that horrible woman. More than anything else, Yuuya knows he can’t be _there._

Unfortunately, he doesn’t make it far. Not even a minute into his panicked running the cold sweat on his neck and the churning of his stomach give way to a painful heave, and Yuuya falls forward. He chokes and gags for a moment before something spurts up his throat. He vomits onto the innocent snow, coughing loudly. Hot tears drip down his eyes, freezing on his cheeks. He lifts a hand to wipe his eyes or nose, for now both are messy, but he only gets his hand up to his chin before he vomits again.

He hurts so much. On a stranger’s lawn, he is crying and vomiting. His body won’t move in the freezing temperatures. He can only hope no one is near him or watching him.

Did her smile make him sick? Probably.

He wipes his mouth off with a bare hand. The tips of his fingers are white from the cold; he left his mittens in the secret base when they were playing card games, and he forgot to get them. Now that it’s snowed, he’s been mitten-less.

Fingers brush under his eyes to clean away the tears. He rights himself with a heavy sigh, one hand pressed to his ill stomach. He feels horrible. She is horrible. Reira should be remembered and honoured, a student and child. And yet … Yuuya knows so little of him.

The last time Yuuya saw Akaba Reira was in a picture with a black frame. She wasn’t looking at him, and she wasn’t smiling.

* * *

 Yuuya sits on the bed, legs kicking back and forth. It’s a quarter past two and the day is young. Out of his hospital window Yuuya can see the train and the traffic moving along steadily. He’s free to go from the hospital, but Hiiragi’s words still ring in his head.

His mother is coming to visit him.

Deep down, Yuuya wants to see his mother. He’s feeling better; despite the odd crack in his hand or neck, it’s a miracle how well he’s healed. The nurses have taken him off oxygen and removed the IV from his arm. His clothes are even lying at the foot of his bed, beckoning him to get out of this white misery and go home. He really wants to see his mother though. It’s been so long. She has stories to tell him, and he might have one or two of his own. He’ll smile a real smile just for her.

The clock counts down though. The longer Yuuya waits, the more he loses hope. Perhaps she got busy, or perhaps Hiiragi misheard the nurse. His mom could be anywhere and doing anything else …

Swinging his feet to the side, Yuuya perches himself on the edge of the bed. He reaches for his clothes, replacing the drab hospital attire with his work uniform. Hiiragi must’ve brought him another one to change into; he’s glad she doesn’t know where he is and tried to break into his house. The uniform looks equally drab: a t-shirt and slacks. The t-shirt sports a horizontal line on which the words ‘Maiami Pizza’ are written on the front and back.

When he’s changed, Yuuya looks around for the bill. His workplace paid the expenses for both the damage to his bike and the damage to the car he collided with, but Hiiragi never said anything about hospital expenses. These bills will be less, though they’ll still dent his savings.

Yuuya opens the drawer on his side-table. _It’s … not there,_ he thinks. The hospital bill is often kept by the bed for patients to pick up on their way out; however, there’s nothing inside.

He doesn’t bother looking elsewhere in the room; there is nowhere else it could be. Instead, Yuuya slips on his shoes and heads out of his room. The hallways, a bit more colourful with artwork pinned up, are well-marked. He follows the signs to a help-desk with a friendly receptionist sitting before it. The lady smiles up at him, bowing forward.

“Hello, how may I help you?”

“Hello,” Yuuya greets, bowing as well, “my name is Sakaki Yuuya and I’m a patient here. I’m looking for my bill …” He leaves the question hanging.

The receptionist asks him to wait for just a moment as she types his name into the computer. Her eyebrows furrow together and she taps a pen to the edge of her wooden desk. Judging by the lack of lines around her face and her overall youthful demeanor, Yuuya suspects she’s close to his age … only he has some of those lines from long days of drawing and working. She looks up quickly though, and Yuuya drops his gaze.

“Sakaki-san, your discharge papers have already been done and your bills have been paid.”

Yuuya pauses. Frowns. Nods. “Thank you.”

He turns to leave. This time he has to go down an escalator with several other patients and through a lobby filled with people visiting their families. There are chairs and couches designed as a waiting area. There’s even a coffee and tea shop tucked in one corner with a big, glowing sign. It’s tempting, but Yuuya slips through the sliding glass doors before he can buy anything.

Sunlight assaults his vision. It’s a brighter day than he saw through the window – no clouds, but a chilly breeze bustling through the city. In the distance he can see the approaching rain clouds, but there’s no fear than he’ll get caught in a storm on his way home. He holds up his hand and hails a taxi nonetheless. Within seconds a car pulls out of the dense swarm and moves towards him. Yuuya climbs into the passenger seat and gives the driver directions to his house.

It’s only when the car starts rolling that Yuuya’s mind settles. He slips back into a familiar rhythm, eyes closing momentarily.

He’s off work. He’s been hit by a car trying to save a little boy from an unconscious truck driver. Not only did he have to lie that he could see the truck driver, but he’s now suffered the consequences of his actions.

Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten involved.

But he can’t stop it – reruns happen when he is around crises, and his mind will keep rewinding time until he spots the oddity and prevents the accident from happening. Sometimes, he’s repeated time for what felt like hours before he’s noticed the small, irregular detail that he can change. Time never skips too far back, but repeating the past five minutes over and over again gets boring quickly.

Yuuya doesn’t think anyone else has this power, or else crime and injury would be non-existent. This means it’s hard for Yuuya to keep it a secret and cover himself. He’s not rerunning every day, stopping accidents like a real hero, but when he’s there in the moment the power activates.

As a child, Yuuya always wanted to be a hero like Odd-Eyes Magician. He wanted to help other people. Maybe his childhood was realised by this power.

The taxi pulls up before his house. Yuuya sneaks a glance up – lights are on – before he turns and pays the cab driver. He steps out of the taxi and heads up the stairs, taking his sweet time. His door is still locked, but inside Yuuya can hear someone humming a familiar tune. There’s _life_ inside his house, a concept that occurs far too rarely when he works long hours and returns home to work on his manga.

Yuuya slips the key inside the handle and turns the knob. The door swings open on squeaky hinges, and his mother turns around.

Sakaki Yoko is a spritely woman despite her age, with ruffled blonde hair that snakes down her back in a loose ponytail. She has kind eyes the colours of the forest and a smile as bright as a star. His mother isn’t complete though if there isn’t food beside her: she’s a wonderful cook and always trying new recipes. What she has before her are several pots and pans of varying sizes. There’s a rice cooker on the counter steaming away.

“Welcome home, Yuuya.”

Yuuya quirks a lip, a meagre smile compared to her grin. His house isn’t meant for guests; stepping up from the genkan, there’s a kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and an office. The house is either bare like his kitchen or crammed like his office; his decorations consist of papers and books squished into bookcases, and clothes scattered through the bedroom. The garbage is full of take-out containers that he hasn’t thrown in the dumpster.

Yoko doesn’t say, _how are you?_ She already knows – she can read minds. No, she turns back to the stove and babbles away: “I went to the hospital but you were sleeping and it was boring to wait for you to wake up, so I came here instead. I figured I could find something to amuse myself with at your house.”

Yuuya nods, skipping over the detail that him sleeping was _boring_ and that Yoko left him. “I heard at the front counter.”

Then she becomes more motherly. She sets down her cooking chopsticks and comes over to put a hand on his head. “Your head OK? No bleeding or bruising?”

Yuuya shakes his head.

She fists her hand in his hair, not to hurt him, but to keep him still. “Don’t shake yourself like that that. Does your body hurt? Answer with words this time.”

“No,” Yuuya tells her, not looking up. “I’m fine, Mom. Honest.” In truth, his entire body aches and pulses. When he shook his head, he felt his brain rolling from side to side. With each breath his chest aches; and from being in the white, sterile room, his eyes hurt and sting. Yuuya looks down at his feet as Yoko runs her fingers through his hair, then drops her hand back down.

“You scared me, you know. I was told it was a head-on collision.”

“I’m fine,” Yuuya tells her.

His response is good. She steps back and heads towards the cupboards. She opens and closes each one, banging the doors shut. She checks every cupboard for _something,_ and when she turns to face him, she’s holding his only bowl and plate. He hasn’t used either of those in months because after a work day the last thing he wants to do is cook. The plate doesn’t even have a single scratch on it: it’s a fine piece of china.

“Oi Yuuya, is this all the tableware you have?” She holds up the plate and bowl higher. “I checked in your trash and all I see are take-out and bento boxes. It’s not my place because you’re a grown-up, but have you been eating well?” Despite the sincerity of her words, she says it all with a teasing glint in her eyes.

“Well –”

“I’m off to buy tableware then. We’re eating like a family.” Yoko grabs her purse and jacket. She passes him like a gentle breeze, gracing by him to slip on her shoes. “Be good until I’m home. We’ll have dinner together.”

“Sure,” is all Yuuya can say. Yoko opens and closes the door, giving him only a wink goodbye.

The house is empty.

Yuuya flops down at the table and pulls out his cell phone from his back pocket. Sure enough, there’s a text from her saying that she’s at his his place and she’ll see him for dinner. He hadn’t bothered to check his phone when he’d left because he hadn’t expected anyone to come. There’s also a message from his manager letting him know to take care of himself while he rests, and if he wants to work he’s more than welcome to. His manager means well; he runs a competitive, busy delivery restaurant, and having Yuuya gone for several days has probably put a bit of stress on the rest of the workers. It might’ve even mean that Hiiragi won’t be able to see him until he returns to work.

By the time Yuuya finishes scrolling through his messages, the door opens again. Yoko comes in and kicks off her flats at the genkan. She leaves them lying on their sides, using her bare feet to then push the door closed. “I’m back,” she says.

“Welcome back,” Yuuya answers. With a head-tilt he tries to examine the contents of the bags, but she shoos him away. The dishes are brought into the kitchen where she can wash them with warm water and dry them. The food is then dished out and brought to the table; Yuuya offers to help several times, but Yoko insists that he needs to rest.

“I want to make dinner for us,” Yoko says as she carries the last dinner in. “Since when have we shared a meal together?”

 _Too long,_ Yuuya thinks.

His mother kneels down at the table and gives a quick thanks. She digs in eagerly, pulling from various plates. Yuuya scans the display: there’s rice, miso soup, sliced pork, sprouts, and a mixed greens salad. Each dish is on a different plate; they appear to have come from a set that decorates the tableware with little green vines wrapping along the perimeter of the dishes.

“I … don’t think I’ll ever be able to use all these plates,” Yuuya says.

“That’s because you eat out so much,” Yoko tells him. She takes a deep sip of her miso soup, drawing the bowl up to her mouth. When she lowers it, she says, “Trust me, if you start cooking for yourself, you’ll use all of this.”

“OK.” Yuuya sips at his miso soup too. It’s less salty than he remembers, or maybe that’s because he’s used to prepackaged meals. His mother’s cooking is legendary; he picks at the tofu in the soup, warming himself from the inside up.

“You’ve lived here for a while now,” she comments. “Any problems?”

Warning flags go off in Yuuya’s head. His mother _never_ asks an innocent question. There is always a reason to her words. During his early childhood, she worked as a reporter for their town; she was one of the best employees to get the most accurate news story. As a mother, that ability has translated into a keen eye for detecting lying and an intuition to know when something is wrong.

“What do you mean?” Yuuya says.

Yoko shrugs. “I’m just checking up on you. As I said, you worried me when the doctors called me to say you’d hit your head. You’re my only son too, so of course I’d want to check up on you.”

Yuuya bites into his salad. There’s a tangy dressing coating the vegetables that could only be homemade; it’s heavenly and doesn’t overpower the crispness of the lettuce and sprouts. The more he eats, the more he misses his mother’s cooking. His misses full weeks of eating nothing but curry rice because she made too big of a batch. He misses pancakes in the morning, or hamburgers for lunch, or the delicious recipes she’d find in international cookbooks that she could barely read and somehow could perfect the dish.

“I’m OK,” Yuuya says. “I have work though, and I need to draw manga …”

From across the table Yoko grins. “Do you now? I worked when you lived with me. For 18 years you lived in my house. You never got in my way, and so I won’t get in yours.” She takes a bite of rice. “Now, if you’re drawing manga and I can’t be in the house for that … Well, if you’re drawing something that your own mother can’t see, then maybe you shouldn’t be drawing it.”

Heat burns the tips of his ears red. “Ack!”

“Is that guilt?”

“No, but that’s not the big issue –”

“Then what is?” She leans closer over the table, elbows balanced on the surface. This is _his mother_ and she’s acting like _his child_ by asking him such personal questions and teasing him mercilessly. By the sly look on her face she has no guilt over this. She teased less when he was younger, but a part of Yuuya’s mind always thought that his mother would remain a spry woman even on her deathbed.

He needs to come up with an excuse though, one that she can’t see through. He wrings his sweaty hands under the table. “Well, I only have one set of bedding –”

“There’s a sleeping bag in the closet. I’ll use that.”

She’s been in his closet! How long has she been in his house and how much did she go through? Did she sneak around his room and peek at his manga? Has she any couth to know that this is _his_ house with his _private_ belongings, and even though she’s his mother she doesn’t need to be snooping around his things? That’s why he moved out – to give himself some space and freedom.

“There’s still not enough room,” Yuuya says. “How about a hotel room?”

“Too expensive.”

Yuuya snatches his wallet out of his back pocket, thumbing through the bills. There isn’t much. “Then I’ll pay for my hospital costs, and you can use this money to pay for a hotel. I’d love you here mom, really I do, but I don’t think there’s room for both of us in this cramped apartment.” However, Yuuya knows his mother well: she won’t take his money or leave. She’ll hang around until she gets bored … and then she might try to amuse herself in his house.

He puts the money back in his wallet and returns to his food. He hasn’t had food this comforting in a while; he misses Yoko’s cooking.

“Hey, can one bus take me up to the Fusion Dimension?”

Yuuya can’t keep the edge out of his voice: “You’re here for sight-seeing?”

“No, but I’ll get bored hanging around here. You said you needed to work too.” From her pocket she retrieves a package of cigarettes and a lighter. She lights the cigarette hanging out of her pink lips and takes in a grateful drag. She has the courtesy not to blow smoke in his face, but now that dinner is done she’s got to find something to do.

Yuuya wait a moment for his mother to get up and wander before he gathers the dishes and takes them to the sink. When he was a child he always did the dishes with her; nowadays, Yuuya can’t imagine her letting him get away with chores. She stands up from the table and heads down the hallway; he hears her head off to the bathroom, and by that point Yuuya has started running water and scrubbing the new dishes clean.

She’s … the same as he remembers. Kind but blunt, well-meaning but honest. She probably thought it was lucky of him to get hit by a car so she could come down to visit him. The last time she came, he remembers being quite ill with a cold courtesy of overworking himself. That time, she’d also told him she came to sightsee too.

He puts the final dish down on the drying rack with a _clink!_

His mother cares about him. She does. They just haven’t seen each other in a few years.

Heading out of the kitchen, Yuuya wanders back to his bed. It’s a small, cramped room with only a futon and a TV. Neither object looks to be in good condition; he got them second-hand when he moved into this place. Still Yoko has made herself comfortable in his space, reclining back on his bed with a beer in hand. Yuuya doesn’t have beer in his house, and he doesn’t remember seeing her bring any in when she went out to buy the dishes. The TV is turned to sports – his mother loves sports as much as she likes cooking and motorcycles.

When he enters, she leans back and looks over her shoulder. Despite being 52, she looks quite young sprawled out across the futon. The last time Yuuya saw her, she looked the same too.

“I’m taking your mattress and TV,” she says.

“That’s fine,” Yuuya says. _I won’t need to tip-toe across the room to the bathroom. I can give up those things._

“You don’t have to tip-toe ‘round here either – I’m a heavy sleeper.”

 _Mind-reader,_ Yuuya thinks, but he only fixes her with a hard glare.

Yoko shrugs her shoulders and changes the channel. The Maiami evening news is on at this hour: the reporters are reviewing recent crimes committed. Yuuya doesn’t like the news because rarely will he hear anything good. Today, the reporter is announcing how a seven year old girl who went missing earlier this month was found safe today. The girl was brought to the hospital to treat her injuries and malnutrition, but doctors assure the public that she’ll make a speedy recovery.

“Missing …” Yuuya says, more to himself than his mother. She hears him though.

“Yuuya.” Her voice is heavy, and the tone surprises him. Yoko isn’t serious often, and if she is she’s been seriously childish. “Do you remember?”

“What?” He swallows.

“What happened in our town when you were in fifth grade. They covered it on the news too, just like now … but you might not remember. Your memory was faint. The adults even tried to erase the memories from the children’s minds.” She sets down her can of beer next to the tower of empties and reclines back on the futon. “You were in a scary place back then, Yuuya.”

The more she says, the more his stomach churns. Yoko isn’t ever this talkative about such serious business. However, Yoko lets him think through what happened in fifth grade, and Yuuya remembers more and more details.

Back then, Yoko was a reporter for TV Heartland, a local news station for the dimensional city. She was one of the best reporters in the city too. Through a connection, Yoko managed to get the station to only broadcast events of that incident late at night when the children would be asleep and unable to accidentally stumble on the channel. At the same time, Yoko informed every parent in town to watch TV Heartland.

 _Was I made to forget?_ Yuuya wonders. He wasn’t part of a popular group in elementary school so he might’ve missed the daily classroom news. However …

Yuuya remembers being around kids and adults though. News wouldn’t have flown over his head. He isn’t part of a big circle, but he is just at the perimeters and able to hear the chatter. The adults talk too. Yuuya remembers sitting on the bank of the Heartland River and watching kids roll down the hills. People chat and gossip on that hill sometimes.

There is also a man on that river. He is a college-aged man named Hope – Yuuya doesn’t remember his name, though he’s certain it is nothing similar to Hope. The man has wild hair with red feelers for bangs, and he is always wearing bright, eclectic clothes that make him stand out. When Yuuya sits on the banks by himself, Hope comes to him and plays Duel Monsters with him. It’s a card game that, at the time, Yuuya’s mother doesn’t have the money for, so he is thankful that Hope shares his cards with him.

Hope was called Hope because that’s what he talks about. He’s always telling Yuuya to “Have hope!” or to _“Kattobingu!”_ Yuuya doesn’t know what the second one means, but sometimes he rolls it off his tongue when he is feeling nervous and a warm feeling spreads in his tummy.

He goes to Hope’s house sometimes and plays Duel Monsters. In Hope’s attic he has boxes upon boxes of Duel Monsters cards stuffed between antiques from his father’s time as an explorer. Hope’s attic is messy and dusty; the only sunlight comes through the window and spills on the hammock between two tall posts. Throughout the day Hope teaches him about Monster, Spell, and Trap cards, and how to use these to his advantage.

Hope likes Traps. He likes catching his opponents off-guard with a surprise, in which he cheers loudly as he flips the game in his favour. He even has a deck full of Hopes!

Yuuya likes Spell cards. Hope gives him an Entermate deck because he says Yuuya has a smile that could dazzle an audience. With his cards, Yuuma can power up his monsters and go strong for the entire duel. There is so much colour and life to this game – playing with Hope is his favourite thing to do!

He doesn’t win though; no, Hope is much, much better at the game than him. He congratulates him after he does a small victory dance, and then they will duel again and again. Sometimes they will bring their cards out to the breezy bank and duel in the soft grass. Yuuya doesn’t like to lose when anyone can see him, but when he pouts Hope rustled his hair with a hearty laugh.

“You’re a good kid, Yuuya,” he says, “but …” He puts a finger to his lip, tapping it thoughtfully. “You must be bad with people.”

Yuuya nods, not meeting Hope’s bright eyes.

“Well me too! We’re the same, Yuuya!”

That doesn’t make him feel any better.

A hand clamps down on his head, Hope’s fingers in his red and green locks. He pushes back Yuuya’s goggles so that they aren’t sliding down his forehead. Kneeling down, Hope says, “Let me try to guess what the popular kids in class are like. They’re cheerful and good at sports, and they can make friends easily! They must be smart too and know all the answers in class! They can speak their mind easily and joke around with their friends. They can be serious too though.” Hope chuckles. “Right?”

Yuuya’s mouth drops down like a trap. “Wow,” he says under his breath.

“That’s what popular people are like,” Hope says, “all of them, I think. So” – he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively – “why don’t you try to copy them?”

A beat. “What?”

“If that’s what making them popular, why don’t you do it too? Copy one or two things about them and see if it attracts friends. They’re acting that way so they’re cool, so you can too.” A second hand comes down, this time to land on Yuuya’s shoulder. He gives it a squeeze. “Don’t be embarrassed. Have hope and _kattobingu!”_

Yuuya’s mind buzzes. A voice crawls into his ear and nestles inside his mind; he winces when the voice speaks up. _Hey Yuuya, didja hear? A girl from Neo Domino Elementary also went missing._

He blinks. He’s out with his friends after school, all of them carrying their backpacks down a side-road. The snow on the ground is packed down from hundreds of feet taking this route, though it’s still winter time and the air is frigidly cold. Yuuya raises his ungloved hands to his face and blows on them; through his fingers he can see Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri are dressed much warmer than he is.

“So it’s not just Akaba-kun now?” That’s Yuuri, a sweet boy with pink and purple hair and long, drooping bangs. Yuuri’s smaller than him, and thus his coat and scarf cover most of his face; a purple beanie hangs off his head.

“You didn’t know either? Good thing I’m not the only one out of the loop.” That’s Yuugo. Yuuya can tell it’s Yuugo by his loud, boisterous voice that echoes through the fields. Where they’re at isn’t anywhere near residential houses, but that doesn’t mean Yuugo needs to shout every time he speaks. He brushes his yellow bangs back into his toque and makes a face. “This is kinda creepy, don’t y’all think?”

“They used the same cover-up story for that girl as they did for Akaba.” And that’s Yuuto. He’s the calm, cool, and collected one of their group. When Yuugo is spouting ridiculous theories and Yuuri is making them seem realistic, Yuuto is the rational leader who keeps them in check. He’s not much taller than Yuuya but he seems to tower over them. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his peacoat, and with his dress shoes and slacks he looks too old to be in elementary school.

When all eyes are on him, Yuuto continues: “The teachers told us, ‘Akaba ran away from home and went to live with her grandparents.’ My friend at Neo Domino said that’s the same story they told her school about the missing girl.”

Yuuri nods. “That must mean those children have to stay in town too. No more trips out of the city.”

“That’s just coincidence, ain’t it?” Yuugo says. He sits forward on the box, eyebrows furrowed. “Maybe those kids just didn’t want to do their homework and ran away to their grandparents.”

Yuuto shakes his head. “It’s a serial kidnapping case.”

A lull falls over their group. Yuuya presses a hand to his queasy stomach. If two children have already been kidnapped, who’s to say there won’t be more? Will the criminal go after a child from another dimensional city, or will one more of Yuuya’s classmates disappear? What if … one of his friends gets kidnapped? What if one day he doesn’t see Yuuto or Yuugo or Yuuri in their seats?

A month ago, Yuuya made friends with Yuuto, and through him he met Yuugo and Yuuri. He joined a group of cool friends and, with hope and _kattobingu,_ he made space for himself. Yet Yuuya didn’t expect to find himself in the midst of a detective game where his friends wanted to talk about suspects and criminals and serial murderers. Is that … what friends did?

Sharing secrets seems like something friends do though, so Yuuya doesn’t say anything and follows his friends through the empty fields. The sun hangs overhead and a crisp breeze picks at his exposed nose and cheeks. He needs warmer clothing like his friends.

“Keep this a secret, all right?” Yuuto tells them. “The adults don’t want us to know this, but they can’t keep everything from us.”

 _Right,_ Yuuya thinks. His mother has been trying to hide the news on TV Heartland, but the children can still gossip and theorise about their missing classmates.

“And besides,” Yuuto says, “boys are safe. The perp only goes after girls –”

“Pervert,” Yuugo spits out.

Yuuri breathes a sigh of relief.

“TV Heartland doesn’t even have anything good on,” Yuuto says. He stops walking and kicks at a spot in the ground where dead grass is creeping through the snow. That spot has been stepped on so many times that it’s packed into the earth, and the first signs of spring are visible. “There’s no anime on, and we can’t go out of town to explore.”

“It’s so _boring!”_ Yuugo adds. “Why do the adults have to ruin _all_ the fun for us?”

“We could go to our secret base though,” Yuuri says. “We’ll be safe there too.” Yuuri’s eyes are still wide in shock at the events of what happened. He’s still in denial that such tragedies could hit the dimensional cities without any trace or explanation. Two elementary school children just disappeared and the cities are focusing efforts on shielding the children from it.

“This case has nothing to do with us after all,” Yuugo says, “so we’ll be fine. We’re all boys.”

“Let’s go to the secret base tomorrow then,” Yuuto says. “We can figure out more of this.”

As the leader, Yuuto tells them when to part. They all wave goodbye to each other, crunching through deep snow on their separate ways home. Yuuya waves happily to his friends, glad to be part of their circle even if he didn’t say a single word. Bit by bit he’s become braver like Hope told him too, and it’s helped him become a regular member of Yuuto’s friend group.

The memories after that are hazier. Yuuya thinks the adults might’ve succeeded in making him forget the terrible events of 1988 … but he also knows that he himself is responsible for forgetting. He made _himself_ forget what happened that year.

_I wanted to forget. I didn’t want to remember who did what to who._

Because six months later, the kidnapper Tsukumo Yuuma, age 23, was caught. He was sentenced for execution on May 2006 for the two girls and one boy he killed from March to June 1988.

He was Hope.


	3. Chapter 3

Towers of books stretch up to the ceiling, the spines checked blue, green, and black. Unlike the manga section with its bright prints and titles, this area of the bookstore is for non-fiction history and research books … which means it looks boring. None of these titles look appealing. They are all record books of wars, fights, political decisions, matters that Yuuya doesn’t care about.

What he cares about is finding out about the serial kidnappings in Heartland City in 1988. Yuuya can’t think of anywhere else to go. If he wants to find newspaper articles and recounts of what happened that year – memories that Yuuya has tucked away – he’ll need to dig through archives.

Yuuya wonders what has spurred him to take interest in the serial kidnappings. If he forgot them, why does his mind will him to remember, and why now of all times? It is because he’s an author and wants to read another writer’s work? He wasn’t a mangaka when he was a child, just an artist lazily practicing. Now he might have appreciated the detail and work that goes into fiction and nonfiction works.

Maybe it’s because he’s an adult. As a child, he was similar to Yuuri: he too was scared of the incidents. Yuugo was too; deep down, Yuugo’s brash actions were related to his fear of seeing his friends and classmates caught. Only Yuuto was calm during that time. Yuuya wonders why.

Something brought those faded memories back to Yuuya and urged him to uncover more. Yuuya’s fingers gloss over the spine of an old book called _Notorious Crimes of the Shouwa Era._ That was when those crimes happened: two months of 1988; two long, winter months.

Yuuya pulls down the book, hands running over the paper cover. It’s a hefty book – there was a lot of crime back then. Yuuya begins flipping through the contents, browsing through theft, arson – kidnapping.

He stops there with his fingers between the pages. There on the page is Tsukumo Yuuma, a young man at the time who was the prime suspect of three kidnapping. His eyes look different back then: not bright and lively, but cold and lifeless. He looks through the book – through Yuuya even. This Yuuma has no hope, no _kattobingu._

A feather duster appears in the corner of Yuuya’s vision, kicking up dust and debris towards his face. Yuuya muffles a cough and a sneeze into his hand; when he looks up, the bookstore owner is busy cleaning the shelves. He’s a old, gruff man with a pink nose and small, beady eyes.

“You buying that?” he asks. “Register is over there. The books aren’t for reading – that’s a library.”

“Sorry,” Yuuya murmurs, ducking his head.

The owner shrugs with a huff and returns to cleaning the store. When Yuuya’s back is to the man, he makes a face. He was going to buy the book; he just wanted to make sure it was the right one!

Yuuya heads out of the building with a bag clenched tight in his hand. The bookstore is close to his house; just a few blocks away, he imagines his mother sleeping until noon and then trashing his kitchen to make breakfast for herself.

Fanning himself, Yuuya begins to head towards home. It’s stifling hot today, the heat prickling on his skin. Sweat drips down his neck and makes trails on his back. He makes it one block before he finds a vending machine with cold drinks. There are at least fifteen different options, mostly soda or juice. He picks something that will both wake him up and cool him down: an energy drink.

Money inserted, drink picked – it rolls out of the bottom of the vending machine. Yuuya bends down and snatches it up. He guzzles it down, savouring the cool taste on his tongue.

When he looks down from his drink. Hiiragi is standing before him. “Whatcha drinking with your hand on your hip?”

Yuuya drops the hand on his hip and holds the drink at his side. He hadn’t heard anyone near him, and of all the people in the dimension it’s unlikely that he and Hiiragi just ‘crossed-paths’. She’s at least got her delivery scooter, so she must be working.

He holds out the drink for her to see.

“Revive. Hm … are you still tired from the accident? Maybe you should be at home resting up instead of walking around the city.” She winks at him.

“I was getting stir crazy,” Yuuya says, “and besides, I’m fine. Just hot.”

Hiiragi leans on her cart, eyeing up the vending machine from her position. She looks hot too, and Yuuya considers offering to buy her something if she doesn’t have the money on her. Would that be something you do for an acquaintance? Would Hiiragi like it? Yuuya doesn’t know much about Hiiragi, but he should do _something_ for her since she stayed with him at the hospital and made sure that he was in good hands until he left.

“Are you bored then?” Hiiragi asks.

“I guess …” Her words seem to imply something that Yuuya can’t put his finger on.

Not afraid to step into his personal space, Hiiragi leans further over the delivery scooter and says, “Well then you should come back to work! There are lots of deliveries and we’re short staffed. Everyone would love to see you again too! And you can make the big money, right?”

She wants to get out of overtime, Yuuya realises. He chuckles nonetheless. “Just because I’m bored doesn't mean I want to come back to work yet. I do need to talk to the manager though, and I this is my last day of medical leave. I think I’ll go see him today, and then enjoy the rest of my day off.”

“Good idea!” Hiiragi says. Nimbly she slips onto the delivery scooter. It’s sleek; Yuuya can’t believe he survived a crash on one of these. There’s a little rack on the back to hold their delivery bags, and a plexiglass cover at the front to protect their eyes. Hiiragi adjusts the strap of her helmet before starting up the bike. “I’ve gotta keep working, so I’ll see you tomorrow then! Take care!”

Hiiragi speeds off down the street. As Yuuya watches her retreating figure, a flicker of a smile appears on his lips. Coincidence and luck brought them together today.

_Odd girl,_ Yuuya thinks, _but a kind girl nonetheless._

He finishes the last of his energy drink, and by this time the caffeine has awoken him enough that he can begin making his ways towards work. Before he gets back to working Yuuya wants to apologise to his manager for wrecking the vehicle and getting in an accident. If Yuuya had had to pay the damages he’d caused on both the scooter and the car that hit him, he’d be in debt.

Stepping up to the door of his work, Yuuya peeks inside. It’s quieter since it’s only lunchtime, though there are still enough deliveries that most of the scooters – Hiiragi’s included – are out, and the kitchen staff around the corner are bustling away. Many of them greet him with well wishes, clapping him on the shoulder.

“You coming back today? We could use another set of hands.”

“Coming back tomorrow,” Yuuya says. “I’m almost back to one hundred percent.”

Someone else tells him, “You’re a lucky man, Sakaki-san. Not many people come out alive of motorcycle accidents.”

Teeth sink into his lip. Yuuya chuckles dryly, and before the conversation can get awkward he excuses himself and heads into the back. Attached to the kitchen is a single, narrow hallway with four doors: two bathrooms, a storage room, and an office. His manager’s office door is always open, but Yuuya still knocks out of politeness.

“Yes?” his manager says from inside.

“Sakaki here, manager. I’m here to talk with you.”

There’s a slight shuffling of feet on carpeted floor, and then the door swings open. His manager, Faker, is a short man who looks like he should’ve been a mad scientist instead of a pizza store owner and operator; nonetheless, Faker treats him well. His curled mustache and sticking-out hair are deterrents to the big heart he has inside: he treats his employees like family, perhaps because his own two children have grown up and moved on.

“Come on in, come on in!” Faker says, motioning for Yuuya to sit at a chair before a coffee table. Faker’s office is like no one else’s: his desk is crammed into one corner of the room, and most of the space is instead taken up by several chairs around a glass coffee table. There are paintings along the walls of great, mythic beasts, and several smaller photo collections of his two sons.

Faker takes a seat across from him, handing Yuuya a bottle of water to sip at. Once they are both settled, he asks, “So what brings you here today?”

“I came to thank you, sir … for everything you’ve done. You’ve helped me immensely during this time.”

“Anything for you,” Faker says. “I want to you get back to work as soon as you can – you start work tomorrow, in fact!”

Yuuya grimaces. As kind as Faker can be, treating him like a father figure doesn’t excuse how adamant his boss can be at putting work on his employees. Faker is always trying to get his staff to take more shifts so that they can maximise profit.

“Yep, I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“That’s good, that’s good.” Faker takes a long, slow drink from his bottle. “You know, Yuuya, I want you to keep thinking about what I said about full time employment. You’re a hard worker. Sometimes I catch myself thinking, ‘If only you’re here at my store full time.’” He laughs. “‘If only you’re here’ sounds like manga title –”

And before Yuuya knows what’s coming, Faker leans across the table and tugs Yuuya forward by the shoulder in what can only be a weird, awkward hug. _Ack!_ Yuuya thinks. _He can call us family all he likes, but we’re not that close!_

“I know you’re still working on that manga, so hurry up! I’ll talk to headquarters once you give me the word that you can work more hours, OK? Just talk to me.”

“Sure,” Yuuya says, mustering up his best smile to hide the nagging feeling in his heart. He doesn’t want to work at a pizza delivery restaurant full-time. He doesn’t want to give up on his dream to be a mangaka. “I’ll take my leave now. Please excuse me.”

One more time Faker squeezes his shoulder, and one more time he tells Yuuya that he’s so excited he’ll start working tomorrow. Yuuya does his best to respond with a warm smile, but he’s grateful when he can rush out of the office and lean against the opposing wall. Faker is … suffocatingly friendly. He means well, but Yuuya can only handle him in small doses.

For a few minutes Yuuya lets himself hang on the wall like a hook is attached to his shirt. He breathes in and out through his nose, closing his eyes. He imagines himself on a great stage lit by the stars themselves. The audience cheers his name as he dances across the stage. His calls to his friends and family to smile with him; he invites happiness to flood through the audience.

In Yuuya’s dreams, he is an entertainer through his manga who brings smiles to the world.

Opening his eyes, Yuuya glances down the hallway to see if anyone is staring at him. When he finds no one, he pushes off from the wall and heads back through the restaurant and out the door. He waves goodbye to his co-workers and promises to see them all tomorrow for his shift. Until then, Yuuya plans on getting his mother off his back and working on his manga a bit more.

“Sakaki-kun! Wait! Wait!”

He can’t help but sigh, legs stopping at the edge of the sidewalk. Hiiragi is behind him, of course she is. She might be done her delivery shifts and they’ve just happened to cross paths _again._ This time, Yuuya isn’t as excited to see her. He wants to go home and rest, and Hiiragi won’t let him get away with that.

“I’m done my shift,” Hiiragi says, “so let’s walk home together. Stay right there and I’ll go punch out!”

“Wait –” His words fall on deaf ears. She’s already through the door and in the back of the restaurant by the time Yuuya gathers himself. With another sigh, Yuuya heads back towards the restaurant and props himself up against the window to wait for her. She comes back not a moment later with a polka-dot backpack swinging off her narrow shoulders. She’s changed out of her work uniform into a comfy, pink summer dress too.

“Well,” she says, “where should we go?”

“Home?” Yuuya asks.

“That’s boring, Sakaki-kun. Let’s go for a walk first.”

So he does. He can’t argue with her when sticking out of her backpack is a paper fan far bigger than the average, decorative one. He can only see bits of the white cloth sewn for the fabric; instead, the handle of the fan pokes out from her bag. It’s a round, orange bulb with leaves growing from the top, like the shape of a fruit.

“You’re done work even though it’s Saturday?” Yuuya asks. “Don’t you work long hours on the weekends because you aren’t at uni?”

Hiiragi shakes her head. “That’s _why_ I’m going home early: there are so many students working today because they don’t have school. Besides, I don’t need the money like you do, so I can afford to take time off and not go into debt.”

“I’m not in debt,” Yuuya mutters. _But if my mom keeps buying house supplies for me and I have to pay her back then I might._

“And,” Hiiragi says, “I like working with you more, and you come back to work tomorrow. I can work a longer shift on Sunday.”

That’s … nice of her. Yuuya barely sees her on his shifts because he’s usually out delivering, though he supposes during break times and pick-up times he might see her around the restaurant. Whenever she sees him she always has something to tell him about a recent delivery or something she saw on the drive back. Hiiragi always seems to know what’s happening in the city.

Hiiragi takes him for a stroll through the main city. They wander down roads, not aiming to go anywhere in particular but letting the sidewalk take them to their destination. Hiiragi has a dozen work stories saved up to tell him, but she zips through each one rather hurriedly before saying, “Sakaki-kun, how near-sighted are you? Are you blind?”

Yuuya reaches up a hand. Ever since he started working with tiny details on a computer screen or with art materials at his desk, he’s had to get glasses. He can’t see details like he used to as a child. Unfortunately, he doesn’t wear his glasses as often as he should. Hiiragi has seen him with them though; she knows he can’t see details.

The truck. She must be asking about the truck and how he saw the details.

“I think I’m 20/25 with them. But they’re really only for working on bright, white screens like computers or drawing papers. My vision is still pretty good.”

“Mine too,” Hiiragi chirrups. “I only ask this because, well, I don’t know how you could’ve seen that truck fly by. How could you have noticed such a small detail out of the blue? I have great vision _without_ glasses and I didn’t notice that. Even if you just happened to be looking at the right place at the right time, it still doesn’t make sense that you were able to make a split-second decision.”

Hiiragi opens her mouth to say more, but then she stops and looks to her right. They’ve come to a construction zone around an old building. Pieces of paint are chipped from the old wood of the structure. The fact that such a place is still _standing_ is a feat. Yuuya looks from Hiiragi to the broken building and frowns.

“They’re tearing down that building,” she says, eyebrows creasing her forehead. She brushes her bangs to the side, and uses her hand as a visor so that she can look up towards the sun. “It’s such a retro-looking place … I kinda liked it. I wonder what they’re building there though.”

For a moment, there is only the whistle of air passing through the rotting boards of the building. Then Yuuya coughs into a fist and asks her, “You like old things?”

“Yep!” Hiiragi says. “Retro music, retro artifacts, retro … oh, retro cars!” She points to an old station wagon parked across the street. Yuuya doesn’t see anything interesting about this vehicle. It’s in decent condition with a solid white paintjob and a basic design. Nothing about it screams ‘amazing!’, but Hiiragi rambles on for another moment about her interests. It’s the most she’s ever talked about herself though. Yuuya learns more about Hiiragi in that minute than he has in several months, and he holds the information close.

“I don’t know,” she finishes. “It’s just that new stuff looks … uninteresting. It looks functional.”

“Well that stuff was functional back then too,” Yuuya points out.

He expects her to pull out the fan then and there and hit him over it. Why does she even _have_ it? However, Hiiragi just laughs. She has the voice of an angel that sings to the heavens. “You’re right!”

Time skips a beat. Yuuya falls forward a bit, and the next second he and Hiiragi are walking towards the crumbled building. Hiiragi tells him that they’re tearing it down; next she says that she likes retro-things, and she wonders what they’re building over it.

He’s seen this before. Yuuya has already lived in this time, and now he’s rerun time to find the oddity.

Yuuya lets the scene play out again. Hiiragi talks about her interest in retro things as Yuuya keeps his eyes out for any sort of oddity. He sees the building, the car, the street – nothing looks dangerous. When they get to the end of the conversation about functionality, time reruns once more and Hiiragi is back to introducing the broken building –

That’s gotta be it. There has to be something wrong with the building. As Hiiragi goes on her third spiel of the building, Yuuya pushes the wooden fence door aside. The bottom of the building has mould on it; the wood could snap at any time. It doesn’t look like anything will happen on the outside though, so Yuuya opens the door.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Yuzu is coming in after him.

Unfortunately, Yuuya doesn’t have a second to worry about her. She shouldn’t be in danger. Yuuya looks around this floor for any signs of disruption: there’s broken stone and shattered glass bottles along the dusty, chipped floor, but other than tripping hazards he doesn’t see anything suspicious. Directly ahead of him is a set of stairs leading up to the higher levels; to the side off that is an elevator. The panel atop it shows that there are at least six floors in this building.

_It’s not on this floor!_ Yuuya thinks. He runs to the elevator and peers down into the abyss. He can’t see or hear anyone trapped there, but when he looks up he can spot the outcrop of openings for the other floors. Whoever is in danger must be elsewhere in the building … only the elevator is missing.

He has to take the stairs. Mentally, Yuuya curses himself for his nosiness. This shouldn’t be any of his business – what can he do to stop this? He doesn’t want anyone to get hurt, but more than anything does he want to go home.

On the next floor, Yuuya doesn’t see anything suspicious either. Any second now time is going to rerun and he’ll have to start looking all over again. Any second an accident will appear.

Yuuya swings his head around, looking for anything that might stick out. There are empty rooms in this abandoned building, the stairs and elevator shaft – backpacks. There are three backpacks resting on the wall by the staircase, looking to belong to elementary schoolers by their cutesy designs and charms hanging from the straps.

At once, Yuuya is chasing up the next flight of stairs. “Kids! Hey kids! Get out of here – this isn’t a safe place to play!” There are footsteps running behind him, but when Yuuya breaks out onto the third floor he ignores it all. He needs to find them. They could be playing hide and seek in here; as young children, Yuuya knows Yuugo would’ve encouraged them to do the same thing. The kids are in danger though; he knows it.

There’s a scream. Yuuya spins his head around just as the sandy-blond hair of little boy appears in the elevator shaft.

He’s falling!

Yuuya is fast, but Hiiragi is faster; she hadn’t stopped moving up the stairs, and by the time the kid is in sight she’s already across the room and reaching into the elevator shaft to grab the kid. Her hands snake out and grab his; he mustn’t have fallen from far, for his velocity only bring her to her knees. However, as he falls he drags her too; Hiiragi’s chest goes over the side of the shaft and she begins to fall down with him.

By this point, Yuuya has been on the move. He throws himself forward and grabs both of her ankles with his hands. He feels the weight of both Hiiragi and the child on his weak arms, and he groans. His knees bend as he tries to remain upright.

“Hiiragi! Start pushing yourself back!” he calls out.

“How? I have to hang onto him.”

“Wiggle back. Use your hips to help me move you.”

He hears her huff, but she complies. She wiggles her hips from side to side as if she were a snake, slithering back towards him; at the same time, Yuuya pulls as hard as he can. He leans back and heaves, and with a gasp Yuzu’s hands come over the edge. She’s still got the boy in her arms, but by this point Yuzu is in no danger of falling. Yuuya drops her legs and rushes to the ledge to grab the boy. He’s got on suspenders of all clothing, and his pudgy hands are gripping Yuzu’s so tight that his knuckles have gone white.

“I’m going to lift you up, kiddo. Just hang on tight.” Yuuya kneels down over the edge and grabs one of the boy’s hands. “Use your legs to push yourself up. Hiiragi and I are going to pull you up.” He pauses, then smiles. “You’re going to be OK.”

The kid nods, and Yuuya hears his feet scrape against the cement of the elevator shaft. At that time, Yuzu – having pulled herself up to her knees – and Yuuya yank the boy over the ledge. He lands roughly on the floor, chest heaving. Tears dot his eyes when he hits solid ground.

On queue, two more kids burst down the stairs and round the bend. The first is a boy with blue hair, eyes wide with fear. The girl looks a bit more at peace with seeing her friend safe, but she wastes no time in rushing to his aid. Her pigtails bounce as she crouches before him.

“Futoshi! Futoshi!”

The blond-haired boy on the ground waves a hand. “I’m … here.”

The blue-haired boy looks up at Yuuya and Hiiragi. “You saved him, right? Thank –”

“You shouldn’t be playing here,” Hiiragi snaps, cutting the child off. “This is a dangerous worksite, not a playground. This was bound to happen, and I hope you’ll learn from this.” She puts a hand on her hip and stares the children down. “Don’t say I’m being unfair. There’s a good reason why you can’t come in here.”

Yuuya swallows. _I’ve been told these words once before._

The children are shaking before her. Futoshi even have tears in his eyes from Yuzu’s harsh words.

However, Yuzu’s expression has softened, eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’m going to keep this a secret,” she says, “but you’ve got to promise me that you’ll never play in a dangerous place like this again. OK?”

“OK!” the children say in unison. They look a bit happier, and after apologising to her and Yuuya once more, they gather up their backpacks and hurry down the stairs. Yuzu watches them go with a fond smile on her lips; she looks away to catch Yuuya’s eyes.

“Well, we should probably take our own advice and get out of here, huh?”

“Oh, yeah,” Yuuya says. The only reason he came here was to save that kid and get time flowing again. Now that that’s over, Yuuya wishes more than anything to crawl onto his futon and curl up in his sheets. He’s bone-tired and has few hours left to himself. Plus when he gets home his mother will be there in his room and on his bed, so he’ll need to entertain her until then.

Hiiragi leads him out of the building and back towards their houses. At least, Yuuya hopes that Hiiragi is going to her own house and not following him home. Their shifts have never lined up perfectly, and someone has always had to run an errand after hours. This is the first time in six months that they’ve walked home together.

“Thanks, by the way.”

“Huh?”

“Well, you saved me. I would’ve fallen into that elevator shaft had you not pulled me and that little boy up … and if you weren’t here at all, I would’ve never gone into that building and saved that boy. We were so lucky there.”

Embarrassed, Yuuya rubs the back of his head. “Don’t mention it,” he says, and tries to smile. His face feels tight. Is she going to ask more questions of him? She is curious and nosey.

Instead, Hiiragi holds up both of her hands. They quiver like leaves in the wind. She tries to clench them tight, perhaps to stop their incessant shivering, but she gives up when nothing stop it. A hollow laugh. “Wow, Yuzu’s hands are still numb and shaky.”

“‘Yuzu?’”

Yuzu looks at him. “Yeah, my name.”

In the six months Yuuya has known her, he didn’t even know her first name. It’s never come up and Yuuya’s been too nervous to get that close to her. After all, she is his co-worker and junior, not a close friend.

To cover up the awkward pause that has seeped into the conversation, Yuuya asks, “Are your hands hurt? You did grab that boy so fast. They might hurt for a day or two more …”

But Yuzu isn’t listening to him. She bends her fingers back and forth as they continue to say. “Yuzu thinks that boys like to play dangerous games, and that’s why they were in there. And boys can think dangerously, so that’s why you, Sakaki-kun, found them.”

_She’s using her first name again,_ Yuuya thinks. _Have we … become more intimate?_ His face turns as red as his hair, and he looks down at his feet. They are _co-workers_ and nothing more. Yuzu just happened to get off work when he was leaving, and she just _happens_ to live near him. This entire day is all coincidences and it would be pointless to delve into anymore possibilities. Yuuya is going to keep on walking and talking, and not think deeper about this.

Yuuya turns back to Yuzu at the exact same moment she says, “Maybe your nosiness grew out of that.”

_How blunt,_ Yuuya thinks, affronted by her words.

Yuzu doesn’t listen to him once more though. She leans in closer, head cocked to the side, lips parted. She has no problem invading his space, and Yuuya panics because he doesn’t know what to do around her. Only she stops inches from his nose, having to stand on her tiptoes to do so. She looks so serious with her lips pursed. Yuuya doesn’t know what to do, how to act in this intimate moment –

“Sakaki-kun, are you a god of death?”

“What?” Yuuya yelps, jumping back. “Why?”

“It’s an honest question!” Yuzu says. “You predicted that kid’s death –”

“He didn’t die though –”

“– and you helped that other kid when he almost died too! Maybe you’re a god who keeps kids from dying.” She chuckles behind her hand, swaying from side to side. “It’s not a bad thing to be, you know.”

His blood boils. How _dare_ she insinuate something!

“I’ve got to go now!”

And now she has the gall to leave him!

“See you tomorrow, Sakaki-kun!” She turns and leaves, dashing up an overpass. Just as the edges of her Converse fade from view, Yuuya sees a pair of sandals enter his vision. It’s the person he thought was still at home: Yoko comes down the stairs with several grocery bags in her hands, a smug look on her face. She was probably watching them from the overpass, the sneaky woman that she is. She doesn’t say anything though, only hands half the bags for him to carry home.

Yuuya pushes them back. “I lost a book and I need to go find it.” That was the price of the re-run this time; not as bad as hitting a car and sending himself to the hospital, but that book was both expensive and important. Yuuya needs that book if he’s going to have any lead on finding who kidnapped and murdered Akaba Reira all those years ago. If Yuuya’s memories are locked away, he needs to find an accurate recount of events.

“Clumsy,” Yoko says, “but I guess I’m strong enough to carry these myself. Come home for dinner though, OK? I want to eat with you tonight.”

“Sure,” Yuuya answers. Coming home to warm food will be much nicer than coming home to Yoko watching sitcoms on his bed.

She lets him go with a quick goodbye.

Yuuya hurries back towards the abandoned building. Without Yuzu or Yoko around, he should have no trouble getting inside and finding his book. Yuuya doesn’t remember where he put it per se, but he only went to the second floor. Since the building is empty, he should be able to find his bag in an instant.

As Yuuya steps into the building, he’s reminded of his own childhood secret base. After he befriended Yuuto, he found out there was a secret base across the river. It was a place where no adults could find them, and a place where only they knew of. Yuuya assumes that his childhood secret base was also in a dangerous location, only he doesn’t remember anyone falling down any elevator shafts.

The secret base was for friends. Yuuya remembers sitting on wooden crates with Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri, sharing hot chocolate and Pocky sticks that they’d brought in. They had board games and notebooks inside the fort, and once they made weapons to keep out intruders.

There was someone else though … In the corners of Yuuya’s mind he remembers another friend, back always turned to him. Who were they?

_Mom says I’m not allowed to go anymore._

That was what the kid told him. They stopped coming after a while, and no matter what Yuuya told them they couldn’t see them again.

Clear in Yuuya’s memory though was the trips of getting _into_ the secret base. He had to crawl through the tall, tickly grass until he reached a fence. There were holes in this fence that they used as footholds, and Yuuya had to climb over the fence and land on the soft dirt. He’d then sneak into the back door of a supply shed that overlooked the Heartland River. There was just one window in the building, up high and so narrow that Yuuya could only see a sliver of the riverbank. The window didn’t show him much but the green grass and blue water, but Yuuya remembers looking out and seeing Hope on the other side. He often had his cards in his hands, and he would shuffle them with such precision. Even across the river, Yuuya could see Hope flutter the cards between his fingers.

“He _definitely_ can’t know of our secret base,” said Yuugo when he caught Yuuya looking out the window. “He’s … suspicious.”

Because everyone was wary of him, Yuuya rarely greeted him. Hope seemed to understand though, and he never failed to bring a smile to Yuuya’s face when he raised his hand and waved.

Yuuya shakes the memories from his mind. The darkening sky makes it hard to see any thing in the shadowy rooms. Without a flashlight or match, he can’t see much even with the door wide open. His phone is even too old to have a flashlight on it, and the backlight is so dim that it does nothing. Yuuya walks blindly around the first floor until he finds the stairs, and carefully he ascends.

The second floor is even darker; light filters up from the first floor and illuminates the staircase. Besides that, the room is engulfed in darkness. Yuuya can’t see his hands in front of his face or his feet touching the floor. How he’s supposed to find his book is beyond him.

Dropping to his hands and knees, Yuuya begins crawling on the dusty floor. He _needs_ this book. If anything has answers, it would be that book!

Just like how the kids today liked playing dangerous games, Yuuya too is playing a dangerous game by wanting to read that book and find the kidnapper. Tsukumo Yuuma couldn’t have been the killer. How could he? And how did Akaba Reira die?

Unfortunately, his search ends in vain. Despite it only being the start of sundown, the building is too dark to look through and Yuuya is forced to retire. He picks himself up off the dirty ground and brushes his pants clean. His mother will make a comment for sure about how dirty he looks and how he ought to change clothes before he comes for dinner.

Stepping out of the building, Yuuya looks out towards his house.

_I’m not going to give up._

_I’m going to read that book._


	4. Chapter 4

In Yuuya’s fifth year of elementary school, he sits in his desk with his head cradled in his sweaty hands and thinks, _Why do people smile?_

Up until this day, he’d never thought to answer it. You just … did. It was like eating or sleeping or breathing – a natural habit that was built into a human’s programming. Sure it might’ve been a bit different for everyone, but all humans had the ability to smile.

Why though? Is the world smiling and being nice to him for the sake of it? Do his classmates truly like him, or is it engineered in their minds too to like other humans? Is he simply a friendly face that they think they ought to smile at? They must have a reason for their behaviour, even if it is a subconscious act.

That year, Yuuya makes a promise to himself: _I will only smile for a reason. I need a reason to do anything: to eat, to sleep, to play, to smile_. If not, what reason is there to do anything? What happens if he does do nothing? Will he stop living and breathing? Will he stop existing? Yuuya wonders if one can keep on living without smiles and happiness and friends. He wonders about his lonely classmates like himself who live on the perimeters of friendship circles. Do they have these questions in their minds too? Do they wonder how to ‘fit in’ and ‘smile’ like they are complex behaviours?

Or do they just … do it? Is smiling just reflexive?

The question sticks with him all day, nagging at his brain. There isn’t anyone in his class that will listen to him or take him seriously, so all day he keeps the thought in his mind. It acts as a shadow that looms over him during his lessons, muddling his brain and making him stumble when answering questions. At lunch time, the shadow joins him. When he walks home, the shadow matches his footprints, never straying more than a step behind him.

His questions follow him all the way to his home, where he swings open the door and lets himself in. His mother is home from work early today: the house smells of curry and the sounds of the sports game blare through the old TV set. His house is cosy; he can’t remember the distinct features of his home, but he sees his mother at the stove.

“Mom,” Yuuya says, still standing at the genkan in his shoes, “do you need a reason to smile?”

His mother, looking the same as she always does with her long hair and pursed lips, asks him, “Do you?”

“I … don’t think so. I think you should smile when you feel like it, but …” Yuuya looks down at his feet. He sniffs twice, feeling his eyes mist over with tears. “Why do we smile?”

Now his mother is smiling, all sunshine and rainbows before the hot stove. “Now that’s a good question, Yuuya. Why do you smile? What made you smile today?”

“I don’t know …”

“Why do you want to smile?”

“I want to bring happiness to the world.”

“And is that a reason?”

“... maybe.”

Yoko licks a bit of curry off the spoon, and then holds out the remainder out for him. Yuuya kicks off his shoes and steps up onto the genkan; he can’t see the floor beneath him, but he can feel the cool, uneven hardwood panels beneath his socked feet. He licks off the rest of the curry, lips curling up in joy.

“Maybe there’s many reasons,” Yoko says. “After all, if you thought of all the times you smiled, you’d fill a thousand book. How about” – she pokes his nose affectionately – “you just smile when you feel like it?”

A feeling nestles into his chest. It feels like hope, soft and warm.

That year, Yuuya makes friends. He takes Hope’s and Yoko’s words into consideration and he makes friends with Yuuto, and later with Yuugo and Yuuri. Each morning, Yuuya wakes up and tells himself, _I make friends because I greet them with a smile,_ as he splashes cold water on his face. At first, it’s hard being authentic around his friends. He feels different from them, even though all four of them might be different from each other. He feels like he doesn’t fit in, and it hurts for a while.

After a month though, it gets a bit easier. He smiles a bit more easily, laughs a little more heartily. Yuuya spends much of his time looking in the mirror and telling himself, _You are an entertainer! You are kind and fun, and you greet everyone you meet with a smile so that they too can feel the happiness you spread._

At that same time, the serial kidnappings and murders happen.

Yuuya wonders if the reason why he forgot about his dead classmates was because he was so focused on himself. He spent so much time smiling and bettering himself that he forgot about the culprit, Hope; and the victim, Akaba Reira. The adults hid those memories too, but Yuuya is now certain that there were details he wanted to forget.

Akaba Reira wasn’t the only one who died though. There was another boy and girl …

* * *

“You … you bought _all this?”_

Yuuya glances from the many, _many_ bags in Yoko’s hands and then to her face. She looks unaffected by him; meanwhile, Yuuya is hopping from foot to foot, frantically imagining how all this food is going to get home. He doesn’t need all this. He doesn’t even have the _space_ for it! His mother had just texted him to come meet her at the grocery store because she needed to check a few things, and the next thing Yuuya knows she’s coming through the sliding doors laden with bags.

Yoko holds out a hand to him. “Take these.”

Yuuya does; when Yoko lets go, Yuuya’s hand drops at once. He pulls up just before the bags crash to the ground, and with his teeth in his lips he heaves his arm upwards. Sweat begins to bead on his forehead. “I don’t need this much food,” he says.

“You’re right,” Yoko says. She doesn’t miss a beat: “We do. You don’t expect us to live off instant ramen and take-out, do you? No, I’m your mother. I’m going to cook for you, just like I did when you were little. I’ve got enough curry to last weeks, and good beef for hamburgers. You didn’t even have any eggs when I came over – that’s a staple breakfast food!”

Wincing at her berating, Yuuya nods. He heaves a sigh. “Thank you, mum.”

Yoko smiles. “You’re welcome! Now come on, we need to take these home.”

As they begin walking, Yuuya glances over to his side. There’s a mother and child kneeling on the sidewalk before a broken ice cream cone. The kid’s eyes are streaming with fresh tears while his mother, a young woman, wipes his nose with a handkerchief. “It’s OK,” she tells the child, “we’ll go buy another one.”

“Call someone over,” Yoko says. “Like your girlfriend or something.”

Yuuya looks ahead and frowns. _What are you talking about, Mom?_ He wants to ask, but Yoko’s still talking aloud. He hurries forward to walk behind her, waiting until the precise opportunity that he can speak.

“Well?” she says at last, looking over her shoulder.

“I don’t have a girlfriend,” Yuuya says. “Entertainment is my life. Manga is my life.”

“Really?”

There’s a father and daughter walking out of the park, his hand holding hers.

Yuuya blinks. “Huh?”

And then there’s a voice shouting over both of them, sounding like the cry of angels. “Sakaki-kun! Sakaki-kun!” Yuuya looks over his shoulder to spot Yuzu running at him full-force. She’s in her school uniform, tie blowing in the afternoon breeze. In her hand she waves a bag back and forth – it’s a white bag, familiar to Yuuya –

Wait. That’s the bookbag.

She found his book!

“You dropped this yesterday, and I found it! I couldn’t resist reading it first though. Sorry –” The last of her words are mangled as her foot catches on the curb. Yuzu’s eyes widen as big as saucers and she gasps as she lands face-first on the concrete. Behind her, several girls scream as their balloons shoot up into the air; Yuuya didn’t see how it happened, too busy staring at Yuzu on the ground.

The book in her hands has tumbled out and flipped open to the page of Hope – no, Yuuma. Tsukumo Yuuma looks different on death row, eyes haunted. His red bangs are drooping forward with the weight of the situation. Yuuya doesn’t remember ever seeing Yuuma look so sad and hopeless, like his dreams and aspirations have been crushed.

Looking up, Yuuya spots his mother rushing over to Yuzu’s side. She pulls Yuzu up into a seating position and keeps her hands on her shoulders. There are no cuts or scrapes on her face, and though she’s shaking, she appears unharmed. In fact, she looks better: she’s laughing, holding a hand to her head.

“Whoops, that was clumsy!” she says.

“Are you all right?” Yoko asks her. Then to Yuuya, she snaps, “Come help her!”

“I’m fine, I’m fine!” Yuzu tells him.

Yuuya takes a step towards her –

His mind springs back. He’s no longer staring at Yuzu on the ground, but instead he’s meeting up with Yoko who is laden with shopping bags. Once again she holds them out to him and expects him to take half of the groceries he didn’t need, and she once again insists that both of them are not surviving on take-out and ramen.

_Now?_ Yuuya thinks. _What’s the oddity now?_

“Wah!” a child screams. Yuuya looks over to the mother and son kneeling before the fallen ice cream. The child cries at his lost treat while his mother gently dabs at his wet face with a handkerchief. Yuuya remembers this scene. This happened in the last rerun, and he doesn’t think it’s a problem. It looks to be an accident; it’s not the oddity.

“Call someone over, like your girlfriend or something. I know you have a girl you like.”

As Yuuya turns around, he spots the father walking away with his daughter. The man’s back is turned to him, and he’s leading the girl towards the road. She’s got an ice cream cone in her hand too.

“Are you even listening to me?” Yoko asks, eyeing him with one eyebrow raised. She places her hands on her hips. Yuuya hasn’t been paying attention to what she’s saying, too busy focusing on the oddity in the situation. However, was he supposed to be listening to her? Is what she said the oddity in the moment?

“Sakaki-kun! Sakaki-kun!” It’s Yuzu. A pang of fear shoots through Yuuya’s chest. Is it Yuzu? Is she in danger? Yuuya knows what’ll happen next though: Yuzu will run towards him, eager to return the book. She’ll trip over the curb and drop the book; it’ll slide across the pavement, open to the page of Tsukumo Yuuma on trial.

Yuuya holds out a hand just as she begins to pull out the book, cutting on her words. “Yu – Hiiragi, don’t run! It’s not safe!”

Is that the oddity?

Yuzu’s eyebrows furrow together, but her expression changes at once to a smile. She pulls out the book and holds it up for him to see. “Oh, sure, Sakaki-kun. By the way, you dropped this yesterday!” She begins walking towards him; her cheeks flush scarlet. “I was so curious that I read it first though – sorry about that!”

Next to him, Yoko mutters, “I told you so.”

_What is she still talking about?_ Yuuya asks himself.

“Ah!” a voice screams. Yuuya blinks, but it’s not Yuzu falling – not yet, at least. The girls with the balloons have let go of several of them, and then scream as they jump towards the dangling strings. At the same time, Yuzu, still walking, turns around to see what the commotion is about, and her foot catches on the curb. So Yuzu hadn’t fallen because she was running: she was distracted. Just like in the previous time, Yuzu falls face-first onto the ground, throwing the book out ahead of her.

Yuuya knows that that book isn’t important though. Instead of focusing on the horrid mugshot of Tsukumo Yuuma, Yuuya looks around him for any disruption. What caused those girls to lose catch of their balloons? Was that even important? There’s a van behind him, but that doesn’t seem important either. Yuzu is on her knees; she isn’t hurt, and his mother is there with her.

_What’s wrong. Where’s the oddity? I’ve failed, haven’t I? I couldn’t find it this time either … Is it game over for me? What happens next –_

He’s back at the entrance to the grocery store, sunlight in his eyes. His mother is coming out of the grocery store for the third time laden with bags. She once again hands it to him, looking quite proud of herself for buying so much. But it’s not right – not that, but something is wrong and Yuuya can’t find it on his own.

_I need help._

Before she can pass off half the bags to him, Yuuya holds out a hand. “Mom … don’t you feel that something is wrong? Can you help me look around?”

Yoko pauses, hand lifted up to give him the groceries. “Huh? What are you saying?”

The little boy drops his ice cream. Yuuya hears him start bawling, and he knows his mother is now bending down to wipe his tear-stained face. That happens every time in the reruns. It shouldn’t be a worry: it’s just an accident, and his mother takes care of him.

Yoko hands him the bags, but she doesn’t smile this time about overspending. “Oh yeah, you said this to me before you moved out.”

This is different from the previous reruns. Time is changing!

“Really?” Yuuya says.

The man is now walking with his daughter out of the parking lot; she’s got an ice cream cone in one hand, and the other is holding onto the man’s.

“There was a small fire,” Yoko tells him, “and –” She stops, eyes narrowing on the man and daughter. Her eyes narrow, small green slits in her ivory skin. Her teeth slowly sink into her lip. Yuuya follows her line of vision: the man isn’t taking the girl for a walk, but out of the parking lot to where a van is parked.

_Is there … something wrong?_ Yuuya thinks. Yoko is still looking at that man.

“Sakaki-kun! Sakaki-kun!”

_Is this the oddity?_

“Ah!” Yuuya spins around to watch the balloons fly up into the air. However, Yuzu hasn’t fallen to the ground in shock. This is a different time, and instead of tumbling to the ground Yuzu is standing still and looking up at the balloons in the sky, arms stretched up to the blue clouds and bright sun.

“Look at that photo opportunity!” she cries. Then, spotting Yuuya looking in the same place as her, she says, “Oh, Sakaki-kun! Sorry, I dropped your book. I meant to return it to you, but I kinda read it first.” The book is on the ground, open to the page on the Heartland City Serial Kidnappings of 1988 with the frightening photo of Tsukumo Yuuma, the presumed culprit. She scoops it up for him and holds it out for him. “What an interesting read!”

Time hasn’t jumped back. Yuuya looks around, to the mom leading the boy towards the ice cream cart for another treat, to the van pulling away, to the balloons in the sky, and to Yuzu standing before him. What changed, he wonders. What part of time changed?

_Did Mom notice anything?_ he wonders. Over his shoulder, Yuuya sees Yoko writing down something on her phone – the license plate number.

“Sakaki-kun, do you have any strange interests?” Yuzu asks.

Yuuya ignores her. Time is flowing freely now, and whatever caused the rerun has been resolved. They’ve saved someone’s life … somehow. Yuuya doesn’t think he’s done anything, but a glance at Yoko tells him that she’s stopped something. Yoko is now walking on ahead without them, and Yuuya hurries forward to catch up with her.

Yuzu follows him. Yuuya wants to ask her _why,_ but he keeps his mouth shut.

She doesn’t.

“Where are you going?” she whispers to him, one eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“Home … with my mom.”

Yuzu raises both eyebrows this time. “No way! That’s your mom? I thought that was your sister.”

Yuuya blushes, and coughs into his free hand. “Are you implying that she’s young or that I’m old?” Then, chuckling, he jokes, “Do you believe in vampires?”

Yuzu looks past him to where Yoko walks ahead, her steps quick and even. She’s in capris and a tank-top, her soft skin glowing in the sun. Even Yuuya knows that Yoko doesn’t look like a mother, much less the mother of an adult man.

“I do now,” Yuzu says, laughing behind her hand. She pauses though, eyes still on Yoko. “Did you two have a fight? You shouldn’t fight with your mother – she birthed you.”

Now Yuuya’s cheeks are scarlet. “What?”

Yoko turns around; Yuuya prays it’s not because of anything she just overheard Yuzu say, as the girl does not seem worried at all. However, Yoko doesn’t look at Yuzu. She turns to Yuuya and shakes her head. “Sorry, I was deep in thought.”

_Thank goodness._

Her expression morphs back to her usual cheeriness, cheeks rising. Pushing her blonde hair behind her ears, Yoko then turns to Yuzu. “Yuzu, was it? We’re having curry tonight. Would you like to join us?” She winks at Yuuya before speaking again, “I’ve heard so much about you from my son. I’m sure he’d love to have you over too.”

Blood boils within him. Steam shoots from his ears. Yuuya fixes Yoko with a stare that would erupt volcanoes, and she just winks back at him. He loves his mother very much; Yoko is all he has left in his life, the only family member he can talk to. And Yuzu … she’s his only friend.

Yuzu’s eyes drink in the sunlight haloing her hair. “Hiiragi Yuzu, ma’am! And don’t mind if I do! I’ll even help you cook - I’m great in the kitchen!” Yuzu skips ahead to match Yoko’s pace, falling in line with her. The two of them walk at the same tempo ahead of Yuuya, and soon a conversation blossoms. Yuuya listens with rapt interest at first: how can his only friend and mother have _anything_ in common? Then again, Yoko acts like a young adult most times, and Yuzu acts too old for her age. They have too much in common.

From time to time the conversation hops back to him, and Yuuya tries to get comfortable with the fact that Yoko and Yuzu are friends now. They use each other’s first names and share personal stories. Yuuya learns more about Yuzu from listening to his mother talk than he learnt about her in the six months that he’s known her. However, Yoko asks questions: she has no shame in demanding Yuzu spill the details about her personal life.

Surprisingly, Yuzu loves to talk about that. Yuzu plays five instruments; she has an enthusiastic father who adopted her when she was a baby. She always wears a bracelet on her wrist and her favourite music-note pin on her shirt collar. She once dyed her hair green and she looked so much like a different person that her father didn’t recognise her when she came home.

Yuzu laughs through each of her stories, Yoko chortling along with her. Even Yuuya cracks a smile. He needs to learn to be like his mother: like his friends in elementary school, Yoko is popular. That advice helped him as a child. Now, he needs to use it again. He needs to ask more questions and expect more answers. He needs to get to know people.

“This is your house!”

Yuuya blinks. He’s at his home. He’d been trying to pay attention to Yoko and Yuzu’s conversation and hadn’t realised he’d made it to his house. At once Yuuya start worrying how Yuzu might see his house. His apartment is rather small and dingy; there’s not much to look at. There’s also a long flight of stairs to walk up with the heavy, bulky groceries; Yuzu helps them take the bags to the doorway.

“You live here? Alone?” Yuzu asks as Yoko fishes out his key. How she got his key, Yuuya will never know.

“Yeah …” Yuuya admits.

Yoko chimes in with, “And that’s why we’re here to brighten up the place!” as she throws open the door to the apartment. With the lights off, it isn’t a dramatic entrance. The apartment is as silent as a graveyard, the only light in the building dripping out of the few windows around the place. Yuuya flicks on the lights while Yoko and Yuzu kick off their shoes and push them to the edge of the genkan. Yoko takes the groceries to the kitchen; Yuzu stands for a moment, staring round the apartment.

Yuuya moves his shoes to the edge of the genkan and steps up to stand next to her. Their shoulders brush against one another; he’s not as tall as her as he once thought.

“Your house doesn’t have a lot of decorations,” she says. “How come?”

_Bold._ “I don’t entertain people very often.”

“You should,” Yuzu tells him. She turns to look at him, bangs brushed aside from the wind. “You’re a good entertainer.”

Yuzu skips ahead of him to help Yoko put away her groceries and take out what will be needed for the curry. She falls into another easy conversation that drifts into a dozen more topics before Yuuya brings his own bags over to help unpack the purchases. His mother has bought so many groceries that Yuuya hasn’t seen since his childhood.

When the groceries are unpacked, they set to work cooking. Despite what he’s shown to his mother about his eating habits, Yuuya is a proficient cook. He chops potatoes and carrots with Yuzu while his mother prepares her special curry recipe. Behind them, the rice maker steams. The scents wafts around the cramped kitchen – Yuuya’s apartment isn’t meant for three people, so why should the kitchen be big?

“This is just like when you were a child,” Yoko says to him. She holds out a wooden spoon for him when he makes a face. “Try this and tell me if it tastes as good as you remember. I haven’t made this recipe in a while.”

Yuuya licks the sauce off the spoon. It … does. It’s spicy and tangy and creamy, rolling off his tongue and down his throat.

“It’s delicious,” Yuuya tells her.

Once the chopping and stirring is done, Yoko shooes Yuuya and Yuzu out of the kitchen while she puts the last finishing touches on the curry.

Yuuya leads Yuzu out of the kitchen and towards the dining room. It’s not much of an eating space, but he has a low, wooden table and various cushions to sit on. He motions for Yuzu to sit across from him; however, she chooses to sit next to him. She flops down on the seat and leans forward, smile tucked in the corner of her mouth.

“Your mom is cool, Sakaki-kun.”

Yuuya nods as a warm feeling grows in his heart. “She is.”

By this time, Yoko has returned with three plates of curry rice. She balances them on her forearms like a server, and she serves herself before she serves Yuzu and Yuuya. Once they have their plates before them, Yoko flops down at the table too and scoots herself in. She leans one hand on her cheek and fixes Yuuya with a stare.

“Have you told her you’re a manga artist yet?”

“Huh?” Yuzu says. “You make manga?”

Yoko just grins.

Yuuya feels his cheeks grow hot for the umpteenth time today, and he hastily takes a bite of his food before they’ve said their thanks. Glaring at his mother across the table, he notices that she too has begun eating. So Yuuya sighs, and then nods towards Yuzu. “Yep, I’m a mangaka. Is that so shocking though?”

“Not really,” Yuzu says. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out her cell phone, a pink and white device with a sparkly music note charm dangling from the body of the cell.. A moment later, she gasps. “Oh, you are a manga artist! You’re even in Weekly Maimai.”

His head spins so fast that it’s a miracle his neck doesn’t snap. “Wait, you’re looking it up?”

“Yeah, I wanna see your art style!” She presses several buttons on the glowing pad of her cell phone. Yuuya cranes his neck to see what she’s looking at on the teeny screen, but he’s never tried using Internet on his cell phone. “Ooh, you have such a realistic art style! I like how you draw eyes – so expressive!”

“Isn’t he talented?” Yoko says. “It runs in the family.”

“I bet!” Flipping her phone down, Yuzu tells him, “So that’s why you bought that weird book.”

“Weird book?” Yuuya repeats. At the same time, his mind begins to spin. Yuzu is interested in his manga: she looked it up and everything. His publisher told him that his manga didn’t show who the author truly was … Can Yuzu see him in his work? He has his manga in his room. Maybe he should show her tonight and ask her for her honest opinion. Yuuya knows Yuzu will be blunt and clear with him.

“I thought that you were way too young to be his boyfriend, Yuzu-chan, but I was wrong –”

Yuuya chokes on a piece of carrot, muffling his coughs into his fist. The nerve his mother has to say that to the only friend Yuuya has brought over for dinner in years. His legs become jelly and he sinks to the floor. A hand pats him on the back.

“Sorry, but you’re wrong,” Yuzu says. “Sakaki-kun … Yuuya-kun … is just a friend that I deeply respect.”

Yuuya swallows hard, eyes watering from his coughing. Yuzu takes her hand off of his back and he gives her a grateful smile. However, across the table Yoko watches them with twinkling eyes. Underneath the table, Yuuya wrings his hands together. Does Yoko know that he deeply loves Yuzu? Would she still believe that even after Yuzu denied it? Yuzu’s words of ‘a friend that I deeply respect’ insinuated a powerful bond between the two of them, but to Yoko nothing is a far stretch.

For the rest of the meal, Yuuya keeps his head bowed and focuses on not choking on his food. As if both women are aware of his uncomfortableness, they let him blend into the surroundings and continue their conversation.

_I wish I could be a better entertainer,_ Yuuya thinks. _I want to bring smiles; I want my audiences to enjoy my presence. Mother and Hiiragi-chan are my audience, but they get along better with each other than they do with me, and I’ve known both for them for longer than they’ve known each other. How come they’re closer?_

When their plates are clean, Yuuya gathers them and brings them to the kitchen. He’ll wash dishes once Yuzu is gone; at the moment, she’s lying back on his floor and looking up at his ceiling.

Yuuya clears his throat. “I can give you a ride home, Hiiragi-chan.”

Her head lolls towards him. “Wait, do I have to go? Can’t I stay the night?”

“There’s not even room in this house for my mother,” Yuuya says, shutting up his mother when she opens her mouth to cut in. This time, she falls quiet, lips tight. “I’m sorry, Hiiragi-chan.”

“I can walk then –”

“I’ll give you a ride,” Yuuya repeats. Then, softer: “Come on, let’s get going. It’s already late out, and don’t you have school tomorrow?”

She pushes herself off the floor. With a bow, she thanks Yoko once more for the meal and for the company. Her pink hair falls forward, and when she lifts her head her ponytails are at different heights. She looks younger in that moment; carefully, Yuuya reaches out and pushes one of the ponytails down for her. Then he leads her to the genkan where they slip on their trainers.

“Have a good night, Yuzu-chan!”

“Bye-bye, Yoko-san! Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Yuuya closes the door behind them. In the moonlight Yuuya and Yuzu descend down the rickety stairs. Yuzu uses her phone’s backlight to provide a meagre light that illuminates the outline of the steps so they don’t fall down. Once they’re on the solid ground, Yuuya asks Yuzu to shine her light around the building so he can find his bike.

“We’re biking … together?” She chuckles. “That’s illegal, isn’t it?”

Yuuya nods. He wheels the bike out and pops out the stand so that Yuzu can slip onto the back. Yuuya hops onto the front. “It’s late out, but just let me know if you see any cops.” A hand slips around his waist and a warm weight settles against his back. Pink hair tickles his neck; Yuzu is as tall as him.

“Are you” – he swallows – “ready?”

“Ready to go,” Yuzu tells him.

Using his heel, Yuuya pushes back the kickstand and pushes the bike forward. He moves his feet back to the pedals and manoeuvres the bike out of his apartment’s entrance and towards the road. Thankfully, his bike has a spotlight on the front of it that helps him see down the shadowy streets.

However, the roads are silent. Other than a few business workers creeping back from their late-night shifts, neither Yuuya nor Yuzu see anyone that will call the cops on them. Her house isn’t far from his anyways: down two streets and right on a side-street with green grass and big, bushy trees. It’s not the neighbourhood Yuuya expected to see so close to his own apartment complex.

He slows down so that he doesn’t miss her house.

“The white one,” Yuzu tells him, leaning close to his ear. “It’s the one that looks completely different than the other houses on the street. My dad likes to stand out.” She chuckles, and swings off the bike before Yuuya can park it.

“Wait –”

“You’re here,” Yuzu says.

The white house is ahead of him, a monstrosity that illuminates the street. Yuzu’s house has a big sign before it that says You Show Duel School, and several floors of oddly-shaped rooms. The lights on the bottom floor are all shut off; that must be the business, Yuuya assumes. The upper floors are lit with a dull light.

“See that round-shaped room?”

Yuuya nods. It’s jutting out from the side of the building like a snow-globe built into the house. The glass is frosted so as to not allow passerbys to peek inside, but inside Yuuya can only imagine how ethereal the room must be.

“That’s my bedroom.”

Oh. Yuuya looks away, cheeks heated. He coughs into his fist, throat still dry from choking earlier, and says, “Well, I should be going now. You have a key to your house?”

Yuzu fishes one out of her backpack and holds it up for him. Like her cell phone, it has a music note charm attached to it. She dangles it back and forth before tossing it up in the air and catching it in her first with a proud grin. “See you tomorrow, Sakaki-kun!”

Yuuya raises a hand in a quick wave as Yuzu hurries up the steps to her house. It’s as big as Yuuya’s tiny apartment complex, and despite Yuzu’s house also being a business Yuuya just can’t imagine living in something of such grandeur. Does she ever feel lonely and swallowed up by such a space? Does she fill up that space with her father, or are they often drifting through the void?

Sometimes, Yuuya thinks he doesn’t even fit in his small, squished apartment. Such a space is still too big for him …

Shaking his head, Yuuya pushes off on his bike and pedals home. The glow of his light keeps him from crashing into any curbs or falling into any potholes; he is nonetheless on guard for anything around him. Considering that he experienced a rerun today, he is on alert for one of those two. That moment was resolved, thankfully, but how? What did he or his mother do that was different?

_She saw someone,_ Yuuya thinks. That man walking away with that little girl … Yoko knew that man, Yuuya is sure of it. He could’ve been a co-worker at her old job at TV Heartland, or just a friend from her hometown. Whoever it was, Yuuya didn’t see his face well enough; it was darkened by the shadows from the overhanging trees.

Besides, when he gets home Yuuya has greater thoughts to think over. Namely how when he opens his door Yoko is leaning against the kitchen counter in a pair of his pyjamas, cigarette dangling out of her mouth, and she has the gall to ask him, “Daughter-in-law?”

Yuuya doesn’t care if he’s blushing now. He kicks off his shoes, pulls on his slippers, and storms forward to her. Yoko doesn’t budge an inch. She takes a deep drag of her cigarette and blows the steam in several misty rings.

“That is my _co-worker,”_ Yuuya hisses, “not my girlfriend.”

Yoko shrugs. “You’re pretty dense. You have a chance with her.”

“Co-worker.”

“She even says she respects you.”

His hands curl up in fists. “It’s not that kind of relationship, mother. She’s just being polite … and you, you’re being nosy.” It’s become tiresome correcting Yoko time and time again. Doesn’t she realise how uncomfortable Yuuya is with love? Yoko will ruin any and all chances of his confessing his love to Yuzu if she tries to interfere, and Yuuya doesn’t want to lose his opportunity.

Her eyes are on him though. She leaves the cigarette out of her mouth this time, holding it between two slim, unblemished fingers. “Yuzu-chan didn’t say that she was being polite though.”

_It’s true._ Yuuya bites his lip. “It was implied,” he says at last. “You don’t need to turn every woman around me into a potential marriage candidate just because you want grandkids. This isn’t about you, mother.” His eyes burn with tears that track down his face. “And don’t take such a blunt approach. I’m an adult too and I’ll do what I want. I just …” Yuuya snarls deep within his throat, a primal sound that startles him for a moment. “I just don’t want to break the few relationships I still have with others!”

There, he’s said it.

Yoko doesn’t miss a beat. “Then you should be nicer to me because you’re really bad with relationships in general.”

“Who do you think raised me?”

Something _snaps_ within Yuuya. He goes to whirl around and storm away from her; they both need to cool his head. However, at the same time something _snaps,_ something also _cracks,_ and it startles Yuuya into realising that there is a throbbing pain in the side of his balled hand, and that there is glass scattered all over the floor.

He’s smashed the window. Not on purpose, he just meant to leave before he and his mother became too heated in their argument. However, now he’s gone and escalated it even further. Words catch in his dry throat. What does he tell her now? That that was an accident? She might not believe him. The non-hurt hand uncurls and fists in his hair. Deep, heaving gasps rise up in his throat.

Still at the kitchen counter, Yoko flicks ask from her cigarette into a teacup. She hasn’t moved an inch; there isn’t the slightest appearance of fear in her painted face. Lazily, she rolls her tongue over her lips. “Have you cooled off now? This talk is over. I introduced myself to your landlord yesterday, so I’ll apologise to him tomorrow –”

“You don’t –”

“It’s fine.” A bit of tension seems to dissolve in the room when she turns on the TV. The static crackles around the room, dispersing the anxiety. With a heavy sigh, Yuuya slides down the wall and sits on the floor. His knees tuck up to his chest and he rests his chin on the tops of them. Yoko is … too calm. She pushes herself off of the counter to get a soda from the fridge. She then brings it over to the table, where she sits with her drink and her cigarette.

She’s too calm.

Yuuya waits a few moments before he dares speak. Holding his aching hand close to his chest, he asks, “Mother, what happened in the parking lot? Did you see anything …?”

Yoko doesn’t look at him, too busy looking at the game show on TV. It features contestants tasting different pieces of brown furniture and guessing whether it’s leather or chocolate.

“A failed kidnapping attempt.”

“What?” Yuuya shouts, throwing himself forward.

Yoko rolls her head towards him. “Just kidding.”

“That’s – that’s not a kidding matter, mother! I –” Yuuya stops himself. He’s caught something in his mother’s face that he can’t quite register, and it urges him to let the matter drop. “Let’s end this night on a happy note, OK? We both need some sleep.”

Huffing, Yoko turns away from him. “I’m finishing this drink first.”

“Go for it.” A pause, then Yuuya looks back over his shoulder. Yoko is lounging at the table, pyjamas pooling around her frame. His mother is a sturdy, hardworking woman; if she had seen a kidnapper, she would’ve attacked the man then and there. His mother believes in justice, but she’s not above getting her hands dirty to save someone.

“Good night then.” Yuuya turns and heads to the bedroom. He keeps his steps slow and deliberate, hoping that she won’t clue into the tension in his body. He keeps walking past his bedroom through and to his office. Only when he is behind that closed door does he let his guards down, flopping into his uncomfortable wood chair and laying his head down on the scratch surface. His book is still there – did Yuzu come in here? Did his mother give it to him?

Yuuya swallows.

His mother wasn’t joking when she said that she witnessed a failed kidnapping. She wouldn’t joke about such things, not after such a tragedy occurred in his hometown in fifth grade. That’s not a joking matter. And yet, would he have known that had he not asked for her help? Would Yuuya have been able to save that little girl walking away with the shadowed man? That girl could have even been in fifth grade …

Before Yuuya knows it, the book is thrown open on his desk. It always falls to the same page, expectation present.

The culprit, Tsukumo Yuuma, aka Hope, killed three fifth graders.

One, a girl from Heartland Academy, Tsukumo’s alma mater. A child with long, purple hair and low, tired eyes. Akaba Reira, age 10.

Two, a girl from Neo Domino Academy, a school from a neighbouring town within the dimensional cities. A girl with short, green hair and a bright, sprightly personality. A girl whose death Yuuya hasn’t heard of until today, but who he now feels sorry for. Rin, age 10.

Three, a boy from Heartland Academy. A boy with long bangs and a feminine face, a boy Yuuya remembers saying that his grandparents still tried to call him a girl even when he insisted he was a boy. A trans boy. Yuuri, age 10.

Yuuri … he wasn’t good with people either, existing on the perimeters of the friend group at times. It was Yuuto and Yuugo who were the active members back when they all played together. It was those boys who got along and played detective games and card games. Yuuri and Yuuya were on the outskirts of their fun.

_I wanted to forget his death the most._

Yuuya closes his eyes, and remembers a time when Yuuri stopped hanging out with them. He made excuses for not being able to come along with them, saying that his family or relatives always needed him for something. Soon that became the typical response.

“That’s all right,” Yuuya said to him. “I won’t force you.”

Soon there was no Yuuri in the friend group. There wasn’t anyone to stop Yuugo from spewing ridiculous schemes and rein him in before they got too out of hand. There was no more Yuuri sitting with them, laughing with his giggly, bubbly voice. Yuuya even stopped noticing Yuuri in class; it was like he disappeared.

_Sometimes he would come near the secret base. I should’ve called out to him that time. “Come and play, Yuuri!” I should’ve invited him. He was all alone._

_When Mom told me I couldn’t play with Yuuri anymore, I said something to her that she wanted me to forget. More than all the other kidnappings, Mom wanted me to forget this one. She must’ve known Yuuri was my close friend. She was very careful with her words when she told me, but I still cried to her._

_“I could have saved him,” I told her._


	5. Chapter 5

He’s seven years old and it’s the day of the festival.

“I’m home!” The clatter of shoes off the genkan and the hustle of slippers being pulled on echoes through the house. “Mom! Mom! Hey, where are you?” Yuuya rounds the bend, hand on the corner to help him make the turn, and his feet scrabble on the hardwood floor. His mom is sitting at the table, not meeting his eyes.

Yuuya continues, hopping forward with a bright glimmer in his eyes. “We’re going to the festival today, right, right? You said so this … morning …” Yuuya’s mouth winds down and he stares at Yoko. There’s something off about her and the way she slowly cranes her neck to look at him. “What happened to your hand?”

She holds it out to him, the appendage wrapped in thick, white bandages stretching up past her wrist. It’s not bloody, yet that doesn’t ease Yuuya’s mind. No, the blood is on his mother’s face. Looking up, Yuuya sees a bruise on her cheek, just at the corner of her mouth where her cheeks dimple. Blood is smeared along her lips and down towards her neck. She must’ve tried to wipe it off.

What Yuuya stares at the longest are her eyes. Yoko is an entertainer, a sharp-tongued woman who can make her audiences laugh and cry. She never cries, not before him. Even when her husband left her, Yuuya doesn’t remember seeing his mother cry. Yet here she is; the evidence is visible on her bruised face.

“Welcome home, Yuuya.” She tries to smile, and it comes out as a grimace.

“What happened?” Yuuya repeats. He falls to his knees before her and carefully touches her hand. It must be broken, he thinks. Yoko doesn’t wince when he touches her fingers though, and with her other hand she squeezes his shoulder.

“My company president really wanted to marry me, and when I said no he pulled on my hand really hard. I’m OK though; it was an accident.”

“Mom …”

And then she laughs, a jittery sound that creeps up her throat. She tugs her hand back and examines it with her wet eyes. “Sorry, Yuuya. I’m just kidding.” She smiles like a jester in that moment. Her tight lips can’t hold the position, and she repeats it once more. “Just kidding.”

Those words seem to shock her out of her misery though, and with a blink she looks towards him. It’s Yoko looking at him, not a hurt woman. Yoko holds out a hand for Yuuya to take, and when he accepts she tugs him close. Buried into her chest, Yoko strokes his hair and murmurs sweet phrases in his ears. She sings songs from an album that he’s always loved. She even knows the theme song of his favourite show, _Odd Eyes Magician._

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” Yoko tells him, mouth pressed against his temple. “I just tripped.”

Yuuya wants to believe that story. He hugs his mother’s chest and presses his cheek to her breast, listening for her soothing heartbeat. Her breath is even; his mother is OK. When he looks up though, her hand is still broken and there is still a purple bruise on her cheek. With gentle fingers, he reaches up to stroke her face.

“How did this happen if you fell?”

Yoko’s uninjured hand slides off his head and snakes up to grasp his fingers. She holds his hand in her own, and then kisses his knuckles. “I fell and hit a table on my way down,” she says. “I’m OK though. You don’t need to worry.” Another kiss, this time to his wrist. “Do you want to go to the festival tonight?”

Yuuya nods his head, careful not to bump his forehead against his mother’s chin.

She lets his hand go with one last squeeze. “Then let’s get ready to go tonight. It will be fun for both of us.”

Yuuya gets out of her lap, careful not to jostle her injured hand. He gives her one more look though before he heads into the bedroom. He and his mother share a bedroom, one big futon spread out in the middle of the floor. Behind it is the dresser, where Yuuya pulls out a nice polo shirt and shorts to wear to the summer time festival. In the mirror by the bed he brushes down the messiness of his hair.

When he returns, Yoko is standing in the doorway. She hasn’t cleaned herself up in any way; Yuuya has never seen his mother in a dress before. She’s still in her work attire, a crisp vest over a white blouse and a pencil skirt. Yuuya wonders if he should ask his mother if she wants to dress up too, but he decides against it when she beckons him close.

She ruffles his hair, and Yuuya swats at the not-bandaged hand. “I just fixed my hair.”

“Hm,” she says, tousling the long, red and green strands. “Maybe we should use some clips to pin it back one day.”

Yuuya shakes his head. “Nuh uh, I’ll look silly, Mama!”

“How do you know?” she tells him. She slips on her heels while Yuuya pulls on a pair of running shoes. Dressed, he shows his completed outfit to Yoko with both hands thrown in the air. If Yuuya were a performer, his outfit would be much more colourful. He’d wear every colour on the rainbow and dance through the sky for his clapping audience.

When Yoko opens the door, she takes his hand and leads him out of the house. Yuuya doesn’t know where they’re meant to go, so he follows her along. They don’t head to the train station, instead travelling to the city centre. The closer they get to the Heartland Park, the more people begin to crowd the streets. Yuuya spots hundreds of citizens dressed in beautiful yukatas. Yoko doesn’t own a yukata – too uncomfortable, she tells him.

The further they get into town, the tighter Yoko holds Yuuya’s hand. “Stay close to me,” she whispers to him, “and don’t go with anyone else. If we get separated, I’ll come look for you. You just stay right where you are and wait for me; or, if you need to run, look for an adult with kids. They’ll help you.”

Swallowing hard, Yuuya nods. “Will we get separated?”

“‘Course not,” Yoko tells him. “That’s just a reminder in case it ever happens.”

They follow a crowd of people through a set of wide arches where streamers and lanterns hang in a row. The lanterns are the colours of the approaching autumn weather; however, Yuuya still feels warm in his polo and shorts. With thousands of people around them, it’s hard to see anything at this point. Yuuya tries to stand on his tiptoes, but only succeeds in stumbling over when someone bumps into him from behind.

“Be careful,” Yoko whispers. “We’ll be there soon.”

Slowly, the crowd disperses. Yuuya and Yoko are in a marketplace surrounded by small, wooden booths selling homemade crafts and goods. There are shops selling herbs and spices; another one sells jewellery made of glimmering stones. There are even bigger shops selling commercial goods like official merchandise for shows.

And then there are games booths. Past the commercial shops are little tents with small game stations like fishing for floating balls or matching cards on a table.

“Try this with me, Mama!” Yuuya says, pulling Yoko into one of the tents. “See here, you use this little hook to catch the ball, and then you get to … well, what do you do with it?”

Laughing, Yoko kneels down with him. There are a dozen or so floating orbs, all different colours, and all with a little knot on the top. Yoko examines the hook she’s been given by the games attendant before she taps Yuuya on the shoulder. “You need to fish for it, like so.” She motions by dipping her hook into the clear water and carefully manoeuvering it to a bobbing ball. She catches the hook round the knot and then lifts it out of the water with a gentle _plup!_

“Ta-da!”

Yuuya tries next, only with many other children also bobbing for an orb, the waters are choppy. Yuuya struggles to move his hook in time with the tumbling orbs; however, at last he catches the hook round a red bulb and lifts it up. A triumphant look crosses his face! “Ta-da, Mama!”

When both of them have their bulbs, they carry them out of the tent and make another look to check for more activities. There is an area to run and play, and an area to colour paper lanterns for the celebration. However, Yuuya doesn’t want to keep playing games. He remembers seeing a booth on the way in, and when they head back into the shopping area Yuuya spots it at once.

The candy shop!

He tugs his mother forward, careful not to let her bump her injured hand onto anything, and brings her to the candy booth. There are jars upon jars of wrapped candies behind the counter. Most of the sweets Yuuya has tried before when he and his mother have visited town – there are new flavours though! On the counter are a dozen or so handmade treats: candy apples, chocolate covered fruits, and a bowl of taiyaki. Further down, Yuuya can smell the scent of more taiyaki being freshly made.

Standing next to him, Yoko leans down to see what has captured Yuuya’s attention. “Are you hungry? Would you like a treat?”

“Yes please!”

Her hand is in her pocket in an instant. “Well, tell the cashier what you’d like and I’ll buy it for you. You can have anything here.”

Yuuya eyes up the jars of candies behind the counter. He could get a bag of those. Then there are the handmade candies which Yuuya _couldn’t_ get unless he went to another street vendor. And then he has to choose between the different kinds of treats … He bites him lip, running through the decisions in his head.

At last though, Yuuya points to the candy apple on a stick. The apples are big and ripe, dripping with melted caramel. The shop owner lets him pick out which one he’d like; Yuuya on his tiptoes chooses the largest one he can see, which he holds with both hands and licks the topping from. As his mother pays for the treat, Yuuya turns around and looks at the booths.

“One more walk through and then we’ll head home? You can keep eating your treat.”

Yuuya nods, munching away on his candy apple. Most of the vendors he’s seen twice now, but every so often something catches his eye. One particular shop sells handmade masks and wearable collectibles from various TV shows. Yuuya doesn’t get to watch TV often, but when he does it’s his favourite show, _Odd Eyes Magician._ Right up at the top Yuuya can see the mask of the great dragon that befriends the magician. And next to it are the magician’s very own goggles. They’re made of gold, these ones, and they sparkle in the moonlight. Across one eyepiece is a big, blue star.

He doesn’t realise he’s stopped and Yoko, having tugged on his arm, walks back to him. She looks up at the stall and cocks her head to the side. Then she lets go of his hand for a moment and steps up to the merchant. She points to something on the top shelf, and the merchant grabs it down for her; Yuuya doesn’t seen which one she’s picked though. He stumbles forward so as to not get caught in the rush of people heading out of the festival grounds.

The next time he looks towards Yoko, she’s approaching him with a pair of goggles swinging around her pointer finger. “From your favourite show, right?” With her hurt hand, she holds the goggles in place atop his head while her non-injured hand adjusts the straps at the back. “I don’t want these sliding off your head.”

“Is … is this OK?” Yuuya says, eyes bright. “I didn’t ask for this, so how did you –”

“It’s from your favourite show. Of course I’d know that. A mother is supposed to support her child when they’re interested in something.” She strokes his cheek once more, and then Yuuya runs forward, jumping and kicking with the goggles still a bit loose atop his head. He is Odd Eyes Magician, a hero who helps kids across the dimensions get home safely! He stops bad guys from hurting others! He’s a hero that everyone depends on!

Yuuya closes his eyes from the memory. _After that,_ he thinks, _Mother didn’t go to work for a long time. The childish me was so happy to have her home all the time because we could play games and cook together, but at that time I didn’t know she’d been abused at her workplace and quit._

At work, Yuuya knows he shouldn’t be thinking about such things. He’s on his motorcycle making deliveries down a busy street; his mind should be on the road, not on those memories that cycle through his head. However, the words keep running laps in his mind. It was a time that, as a young child, meant something different to him than it does now. Yuuya looks back on that memory with pain; his mother was abused at her workplace, quit, and still took him to the fair that day.

_Just kidding._

His teeth sink into his lip. When Yoko says that phrase, Yuuya knows that she isn’t lying. His mother is covering up her story, often with humour. Back then, she hadn’t been lying, so …

She saw an attempted kidnapping. Yuuya thinks back to the man walking away with the little girl, and the rerun that his mother helped him solve. Back then, Yuuya hadn’t been looking for that oddity, but his mother spotted it. Perhaps her mind also brought her back to the serial kidnappings that happened when he was in elementary school. Yoko has always been an observant individual.

Last time Yoko told him about the kidnappings was years ago, and he’d bawled for days over the loss of Yuuri. Yuuya worries that Yoko might have said “just kidding” to shelter him. This time, she might not have wanted to see him cry. However, the kidnapping happened every time, and it was only when he asked for Yoko’s help that it stopped …

_How did Mom stop it?_

Yuuya pulls the bike into the parking lots and hops off. He gathers his delivery bags and brings them back to the store where his co-workers are busy in the kitchen. “This is Sakaki. I’m back,” he calls down the hallway.

His manager says back, “Good work.”

 _I want Mom to trust me,_ thinks Yuuya. The kidnapping stopped because Yoko caught it. She seemed shaken up afterwards, and she was thinking hard of it. Yuuya takes a deep breath before he makes a promise to himself: _I’ll talk to her about it tonight._

* * *

Yoko flips an orange back and forth in her hand, musing if Yuuya will appreciate even more food in his house. She sure will; he eats like there isn’t anything more than ramen in this world. He refuses to cook – didn’t even have the equipment to cook his own meals – and doesn’t take care of himself. Yoko smiles as she thinks about how lucky she is to take care of her son. Even though he’s an adult, he still needs her help.

As she thinks back to her mothering habits, she frowns and sets down the fruit.

She’s at the same grocery store today, and the memory of the attempted kidnapping is fresh on her mind. At first, that man had seemed like a father to that child, but then he’d let her go when Yoko spotted him. That man wasn’t the little girl’s father; he was taking her away.

Her teeth worry at her lips, eyes clouded. That man gave up because their eyes met. He wasn’t being careful though, leading a little girl away at broad daylight towards a van. None of his behaviour seemed suspicious in the slightest, like he was confident in his abilities. But when Yoko looked at him, he stopped. He _knew_ her.

She couldn’t see his face at the time, masked by the shadows of the trees over his head. Yoko only remembers his outline and the reflection of his glasses. It was a man she didn’t know, but there’s no doubt that he knew her. He must’ve known she was Sakaki Yoko, perhaps even Sakaki Yoko the ex-reporter. Even in the darkness, Yoko knew his expression: _I’ve been caught by someone I know._

The more she thinks about it, now wandering through the grocery store, the more anxious she becomes. The looming shelves and harsh lighting push her into a corner, gnawing away at the edges of her mind. The man’s eyes behind the glasses fill her with such disgust. Yoko doesn’t recognise those snake-eyes, but that man is too familiar not to be out of her mind.

She wonders if it’s because of the serial kidnappings all those years ago. Yuuya had a book about those kidnappings, one that Yuzu returned to him yesterday. Perhaps that’s why her mind is disgusted: she is remembering those terrible events as well. Or perhaps she is just accustom to being alert for kidnappers. When Yuuya told her that he had an uneasy feeling, she had looked for children in danger. Her mind jumped to the worst scenario she could imagine.

If this man reminds her of the serial kidnappings, could he have been a suspect all those years ago? He appeared old enough, eyes hardened and leery.

Yoko blinks.

What if he was ruled out as a suspect? There were two lists created during the serial kidnappings of 1988: a prime suspect list, on which Tsukumo Yuuma’s name was written among others. And then there was another list, a smaller list, which was ruled out as a unreliable. Her name had been on that list too – as the lead reporter of the kidnappings on TV Heartland, she was a suspect. However, when Tsukumo was caught, that second list had disappeared.

Yoko can’t remember who else’s name was on it though. However, she knows where it would be. That list wasn’t ‘lost’: it was _forgotten._

She puts down her groceries and hurries out of the store, storming down the streets. The warm sun and blue sky do not lift her spirits: she is on a mission. Face steeled, she heads down several main streets to the library, thankfully open and not busy. She heads to one of the upper floors via stairs, trying to burn out the anxiety boiling in her gut.

Rounding the corner, Yoko stops before the hundreds of tall bookcases. They, like the shelves at the grocery store, are looming over her too.

 _Domestic cases,_ Yoko thinks. _Somewhere in here is the case file of the serial kidnappings, and in that file will be the ruled-out suspects._

She heads into the labyrinth of bookcases, hands balled in tight fists. The shelves are organised by year and then by case name; Yoko feels like she’s walking through time as she searches through the 1980~1990 case files. So many of these she remembers hearing over the news, white noise that she heard in the mornings and evenings.

Her fingers snag on the top of a thick binder. _Heartland Serial Kidnappings, 1988._ Tightening her grip on the file, Yoko pulls it out of the bookshelf and carries it to a table. Her stomach bubbles with anticipation. This was a file Yoko poured her life into, a file that she followed and researched for the duty of her city.

 _Yuuya remembers this too …_ Yuuya had been broken by this case.

She drops the book down on a table, ignoring the narrowed eyes of the other library guests, and begins loudly flipping through the pages. There are newspaper clippings and annotations slipped between plastic sheets. This case was one of the largest investigations in Heartland, and –

There it is. Yoko’s eyes narrow at the list that was thrown away. Every single name on this list had been ruled out, but now Yoko sees what she’s missed.

_Tsukumo Yuuma didn’t kidnap and murder those children._

She slams the book shut and returns it to the shelf, hands quaking. The new information she has – would anyone believe it? Should she turn to the police for help? Re-opening a closed case after all these years might be hard; she’d need to persuade the police with hard evidence that a mistake had been made. Then she’d need proof of the case yesterday, and more proof to tie those kidnappings together.

Yoko knows it though. The man who attempted to kidnap the little girl yesterday was the same man who got away with serial kidnapping in Heartland. Yoko _knows_ it, and all she needs is proof.

_I need to tell someone though …_

Yoko picks up her phone and dials a number. Pressing the phone to her ear, she waits for a voice on the other line. She hasn’t called this number in years, hasn’t even felt the need to talk. Bringing up this case though is necessary. A child was nearly kidnapped yesterday, and the culprit might strike again. Yoko doesn’t want to see another child go missing. Yoko doesn’t want to see a family mourning the loss of their child.

“Hello, this is Sakaki Yoko …”

 

 _It isn’t over yet._ Yoko repeats the words as she heads home, face twisted in a scowl. With the case on her mind, the sick feeling in her stomach has made her angry and upset. Re-opening the case will be hard, but after the phone conversation Yoko knows she needs to do something. She can’t let anyone get away with that crime, and she might be one of the few people who knows how to stop it.

That man that she saw was an expert; Yoko knows because he wasn’t worried at all until she spotted him. The kidnapper must’ve done this before, and has been kidnapping ever since. Her mind drifts back to the hundreds of missing children across the dimensional cities – how many of those kidnappings was this man responsible for? For eighteen years he’s gone unnoticed by the police. Not anymore though. Yoko will not let him settle.

She stomps up the steps to Yuuya’s apartment. He must still be working – she can see the lights off through the window – so she unlocks the door and lets herself in. She kicks off her shoes, forgetting her slippers, and throws her phone down on the table.

_It isn’t over yet._

_Yuuya …_

She should tell him. Yoko worries that Yuuya might react with tears when he hears that for eighteen years children have been kidnapped because the wrong man was caught, and that Yuuya’s dear friend Tsukumo was wrongly accused. However, finding the true criminal is what she needs to do. She’ll tell Yuuya so that he’s not worried about her bringing up terrible case files, and Yoko will solve this case.

For the children who’ve been missing, Yoko will find the kidnapper.

The door swings open, and Yoko’s eyes brighten for a moment. Her son is home! She can tell him.

“Yuuya –”

A knife buries into her side, just above her hip. The pain makes her gasp at first, sounds catching in her throat. Her body involuntarily shivers, and then she screams. The culprit digs the knife in deeper, wedging it up towards her ribs. By this point, Yoko can’t keep her legs steady, and in shock she tumbles to the ground.

Eyes unsteady, she tries to focus on the man above her, but the pain dulls her senses. She can see the shadows of his face and his leery eyes; his glasses glimmer in the evening moonlight.

Yoko coughs. Hot blood drips out of her side; the killer twists the knife back and forth, and Yoko screams again. Her vision has already gone blurry. She can’t have lost much blood, but the trauma itself shocks her. With a shaky hand, she reaches up to grab her phone.

 _I need to call Yuuya,_ she thinks. _I need to tell him not to come home. And …_ she blinks, eyes unsteady. The man is still above her; Yoko sees his face now, all jagged and rough and unsightly. She remembers this face once being nice. _I need to say sorry._

Her mind skips a beat. Yuuya is standing before her, much younger and sadder than he is now. He had his hands balled before her, tears falling freely. Why is he crying? Why is he so young? What happened –

_“I don’t know who the killer is, but it isn’t Hope! You’re wrong, Mama!”_

_Please, forget about everything._ That was what she told him. But now … Yoko looks up at the boy with tears in her eyes. Her body hurts. She’s dying.

_I should have believed in you, even if the police didn’t believe you. Even if everyone else didn’t believe you, I should have. A mother is supposed to support her child, and I … I should have believed in you, Yuuya._

_I’m sorry, Yuuya. I’m sorry I told you I was wrong._

Her hands snatches up to fumble with the phone. She needs to call Yuuya and tell him what’s happened! She needs to tell him not to come home, and most importantly she needs to tell Yuuya who the culprit is.

_Sorry for telling you to forget, Yuuya. I wasn’t there to believe in you; I couldn’t believe in you. I let the killer go free. Yuuya …_

Her son.

Her son, the light of her life. Her son, the entertainer. Her son, the boy who wanted to make friends. Her son, who she never wanted to see alone. Her son …

 _You’re so soft._ She blinks back tears and reaches out to stroke his face. Yuuya is kneeling next to her, now a man that she’s so proud to have raised. He’s wearing his childhood goggles and his hair is still as messy as ever.

 _So warm._ He leans into her touch, pink-cheeked and bright-eyed. Yuuya has always been warm under her hands.

 _So kind._ Her son, the entertainer who brought smiles to the world. Yuuya reaches out this time to take her free hand, and he rubs small circles into her skin. It’s the same gesture she used to do when he was an infant. It soothed him … and now it soothes her.

 _So loved._ He’s smiling at her. Yoko feels her lips curl up; his happiness is contagious.

Yoko blinks once, twice, and her eyes cloud over. _Yuuya._

* * *

“Wow, Yuuya! You did that many deliveries today! On your first day back, too!” Yuzu hops back and forth on her feet before him. “We should race one time to see who can get the most deliveries done in one day. While you were away, I did so much work that I bet I’d stand a chance against you.”

He laughs into his fist. “That’s not really why we should be working, but …” He smiles. “Let’s do that tomorrow, OK?” _Isn’t this how you make friends?_

“All right!”

Yuuya packs up his bag, swinging it over his shoulder. As he’s heading out of the back room though, Yuzu has one more questions for him.

“Wait, Yuuya! I have a question for you!”

“Um, what?”

“Can I guess what you had for breakfast?”

He blinks. “Huh?”

“Curry, right?”

She’s right. She and Yoko made so much curry that there are leftovers for days, and Yuuya doesn’t have to worry about cooking for a while. Yuzu shouldn’t be as proud of that as she is, kicking a leg back and forth while grinning at him, but her smiles are infectious. With an eyeroll, Yuuya says, “You’re right.”

“Your mom should make more,” Yuzu says. “I’ll even come over to your house and help her make it! That curry was so delicious; you’re so lucky to have leftovers!”

Blushing, Yuuya looks away. The manager is looking at them, one eyebrow raised. Is he surprised Yuuya is talking to one of his co-workers? This is the most conversation Yuuya’s had with anyone, and his friendship with Yuzu has only blossomed recently. His manager’s eyes don’t leave him though as Yuuya takes his leave out of the store and down the street.

His manager is a strange man. He’s fiercely loyal and protective to those close to him, and he runs a tight, strict business. Is his manager perhaps worried that Yuzu and Yuuya are goofing off on the job? Did he overhear Yuzu’s plan to make a competition of how many deliveries both of them could get in one shift? If anything, his manger should be happy that they are finding ways to increase profit.

Yuuya tries not to worry about it though. Once he gets home, he’ll have his mom to think about.

As soon as Yuuya turns the bend to his house, he knows it’ll be an interesting night. The door is open to the house, letting light slip out onto the balcony. Yuuya lives in a safe area of town, but never has it been a good idea to leave his door open. Sure, he doesn’t have many windows to let in a breeze, but the door?! Is Yoko _asking_ for bugs to creep into his house, or for a stranger to come in?

Yuuya hurries up the steps, fists balled. He loves Yoko, but the nerve she has …

“Hey Mom, this isn’t paradise. You can’t just leave the door open. You should lock … up.” There’s blood on the floor. It’s thick and seeping into the rug by the table.

“No way. Answer me.”

His throat tightens, fists clenching. From deep within his chest comes his racing heart, pounding in his chest. His ears buzz – where is that sound coming from? Yuuya stands in the doorway of his house and focuses on anything but what his teary eyes can see.

“Stop it. Get up.”

There’s no movement. Yuuya blinks his eyes and hopes that might make a flip-book. Maybe he’s not looking hard enough. The blood is everywhere. It’s in her hair, her eyes; soaking down her shirt and pants and slipping onto the ground. His heartbeat pounds in his ears, blocking out any and all noise.

“Just say it.” _Say something so I don’t have to hear this painful silence._ “Say ‘just kidding.’”

She doesn’t move.

Yuuya feels his eyes roll closed, tears dripping down his cheeks. When he opens them again, he’s standing before his childhood home among the tall grass. Snow begins to fall on his head. Flakes catch on his long eyelashes, and he brushes them away. When he looks through the grass again, Yoko is there smiling at him. She’s emerged through the grass to beckon him close.

_Mom was always there for me._

She takes him inside and helps him take off his thick, winter jacket and beanie. He shivers from her touch, so she presses a kiss to his cheek. Her lips are like a lick of flame against his cheeks; he leans into her and snuggles towards her chest. She runs her fingers through his hair, catching on the goggles that he wears even underneath the beanie.

“Let’s go get some hot chocolate,” she says.

_She spoiled me. She was kind to me. She loved me._

Yuuya steps up to the genkan, and he hears Yoko shout, “Shoes off, Yuuya! You’ll track water everywhere!”

_She was strict to me._

Yuuya kicks off his boots and steps up into the kitchen. Yoko is at the kitchen busying with heating up the water in the kettle and pouring out the hot chocolate mix into a mug. Yuuya settles down at the table and holds his head in his shivering hands.

_Even though she was so busy, Mom always played me with and took care of me._

A blink before the hot chocolate is in his hands, the memory disappears. Yuuya finds himself alone in the darkness, not a speck of light in sight. His breath comes out in gasps – where is he now? Yuuya looks around for any signs of Yoko, but she has disappeared from him. Yuuya panics. What has he forgotten now? What did he try to erase from his memory? Did he erase her like he erased Yuuri?

Will he forget Yoko too?

_I avoided her since that incident so long ago because I didn’t want to remember and she didn’t listen. I thought she didn’t understand me all those years ago. But now I see … She remembered my past for me. She remembered what I tried to forget._

_I wish she believed me back then._

Yuuya crumbles to the floor, memories slipping from his mind. He’s back in his cramped apartment on the blood-soaked floor. There’s a knife sticking out of his mother’s hip from where she was attacked, though blood is flecked across her chest and face from numerous stabs. The blood soaks into the carpet beneath her. Her eyes are closed, face turned up to look at him.

Yuuya sobs into the ground, one hand weakly reaching out for hers.

“Say ‘just kidding.’”


	6. Chapter 6

“Don’t die! Mom!” Yuuya pulls himself upright. He needs to something. He needs to check to see if she’s alive. She could still be breathing; she could still have a pulse.

Hurrying to her side, Yuuya reaches for her neck and presses his two fingers just below her jawline. No pulse. He needs to get her heart beating; she can’t have been dead for long. He flips her so that she’s lying on her back. In position, he hovers over her body. He sets his hands down, one atop the other, at the base of her chest. A deep breath in. Push.

 _Crack!_ Yuuya pushes again. This time, no crack, but he repeats it over and over again. He counts in his head to thirty, and then gives one breath. Again, thirty compressions. Again, one breath. It becomes strenuous even in the first set of repetitions, and by the end of the second round Yuuya is panting hard. The blood on his knees makes him feel sick. He should stop the bleeding too, but he’d been so worried about waking her up. He can worry about the bleeding after she’s breathing … maybe.

“Open your eyes!” he gasps. More compressions. “Turn back! Turn this all back! Mom, wake _up!”_ But Yoko keeps her eyes closed and her head lolled to the side. She doesn’t tell him to stop worrying, doesn’t tell him “I’m joking”. After the third round of reps, Yuuya’s arms give out and he falls back on his legs, panting. Sweat drips down his face, settling along the bridge of his nose and flooding his eyes.

He’s crying. Yuuya sniffs back the tears, lifting a hand to his face. He’s covered in her blood.

 _I need to go back,_ thinks Yuuya, _back to a time when we weren’t in danger. I can stop this! I can save her._ Yuuya squeezes his eyes closed. He’s in danger; he can fix this. He’ll spot the oddity at once – someone targeted his mother. He’ll save her, and it’ll be fine. He’s done this for so many other strangers, so why wouldn't his ability work _now?_

With a cry that tears out of his throat, Yuuya stands. “Come on!” he screams to the air. “What good is a rerun if I can’t save her?” He pinches his eyes shut, tears leaking down his bloody face. There isn’t a twinge of magic within him. His heart beats in his ears and his breaths come in heaving gasps. From how tight his fists are clenched, he visibly shakes.

“Come _on!”_

_Thud!_

He’s back. He’s outside of his house, just when he saw the door hanging open and he thought to yell at her for being so careless. This time though, Yuuya ignores that feeling and dashes up the stairs. His feet hit the steps and he hopes the killer hears him barreling up towards him. Yuuya isn’t going to hold back this time. His mother _will not die –_

He rounds the corner and dry-heaves. Yoko is still on the ground, knife embedded into her side. He’s too late again. However, it doesn’t stop there; time keeps flowing on without him. If the rerun brought him back, why didn’t it send him far enough back to save her? Why is she still dead?

 _No,_ Yuuya snarls. _That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Send me back, damn it! Send me further back so I can save her! Go back! Go back!_

But he remains standing in the apartment before Yoko’s corpse. His hands are still bloody from when he last tried CPR on her. This time, Yuuya already knows it won’t work. He can’t save her unless he goes back further in time. But then why did he rerun? If he’s not here to save her, what is he supposed to do? This kind of rerun has never happened before. In the past, he’s been able to prevent deaths. Yuzu even asked him once if he was a “god of death” because he could prevent even his own.But now it makes no sense. What’s he supposed to do if Yoko is still dead?

_I’m always able to prevent the incident, so why isn’t it working now? Where’s the oddity?_

Cautiously, Yuuya steps into the apartment, foregoing kicking off his shoes. He crosses the dining room and crouches by Yoko. Judging by the blood seeping from her wound and the lack of other injuries, she looks to have been caught off-guard and unable to put up a fight. She died recently too, just before the rerun.

Yuuya shakes his head. He needs to think. There must be clues in this room if he was able to rerun. There must be something he has to do.

On the table there is a piece of paper with a telephone number on it. It doesn’t look important, but Yuuya pockets it anyways. Maybe whoever the number belongs to can tell him something about Yoko.

Yuuya looks back at the body. If Yoko was killed recently, the killer couldn’t have gotten far. He might still be in the house – no, then he would’ve gone after Yuuya. The killer must be nearby. Yuuya hurries to his feet and heads to the balcony behind his house. He’ll be able to see any movement from there, even in the moonlight. However, the night is black and dimly lit by stars. Most of the street lamps don’t send light into the gardens nearby. His landlady is at their balcony door watching him, and –

In the garden, Yuuya sees a shadow. There’s a bit of light caught on a person’s glasses, and it’s all the evidence Yuuya needs to chase. He leaps over the side of the balcony to land eight feet below on the ground. “Like hell I’d let you escape!”

The culprit gives chase. Judging by their build, Yuuya thinks it’s a grown man. They dart off through the landlady’s lawn, and Yuuya is hot on their heels. As he passes, he hears the words “police” and hopes that his landlady has realised that there is a criminal on the loose. If the police come, they’ll catch the murderer. Yoko … she won’t live, but Yuuya will avenge her.

Yuuya’s feet squish into the mushy earth. He pulls through the run with a guttural scream. The killer is not ten feet away from him; only a little further and Yuuya can grab the man’s arm or leg. “How dare you! I’ll kill you!”

The man, having run through the landlady's yard, comes to the fence. He bounds over it swiftly and falls to the ground below. Yuuya only vaguely knows where he’ll end up. It doesn’t matter though. In this moment, he’ll do anything to avenge Yoko. He’ll chase the killer until he is at peace. Yoko can’t live like this; he can’t live like this. There is a beast within him crying for his family, and Yuuya will be re-united.

“Get back here!” Yuuya screams. His hands snap onto the metal bars and he vaults over the fence and down onto the street below. Like the rest of the city, dim light filters down from tall lampposts. It’s part of the Maiami suburbs, but Yuuya doesn't know this area. Furthermore, he can’t see the killer anywhere. There isn’t movement in sight; the dead wind lies the city flat. Yuuya’s eyes dart around for even the flutter of a leaf.

He can’t stay still though. If he’s to find the culprit, Yuuya needs to keep running. He dashes down the street back towards where he thinks his house might be; at this late hour and with his head spinning like so, Yuuya doesn’t know where he is. His mind has only one track: kill the man. He needs to find that culprit before he gets away with anything else.

At the end of the road Yuuya spots a light. If he runs towards that, he might be able to see the area better and look for the man. Unfortunately, the light comes faster than Yuuya expects; it’s not a lamppost but a vehicle. It nearly hits him before Yuuya screams and dashes out of the way.

It’s a police officer, probably also looking for the killer. Yuuya throws up in hands in defence. “Ah, sorry!” He doesn’t know what else to say. Instead, he dashes off. The police officer screams something back to him, but Yuuya’s ears ring. He can’t hear anything but the rapid beating of his own heart.

Yuuya runs until he becomes lost in the maze of shadows and is forced to retire behind a building. At the first sign of safety, gravity hits his shoulders and he falls to the ground. Rage fills his body, bubbling in his gut and creeping up his throat. Screaming, Yuuya slams his hands onto the ground, shaking his very soul. “Damn it!”

 _He … he was right in front of me. Mom’s killer was there, and still I missed him!_ He let the killer get away, and now Yuuya doesn’t know how to proceed. Hopefully the police are searching the neighbourhood for the killer. Yuuya can give a statement of the size of the man, but it was too dark to see his face. From the angle his landlady was at, perhaps they saw what the man looked like.

 _How long had the man been hiding there for?_ Yuuya wonders. _Did I alert my landlady to the crime?_

Yuuya puts a hand to his head and feels the blood stick to his face. A sob catches in his throat. “Mom …” No matter what he does, Yoko is dead. Even the rerun couldn’t prevent her death. It’s up to Yuuya now to not save her, but to avenge her. The killer can’t get away with this!

Yuuya gives himself a moment more to weep before he sits himself down on the ground, back to the cold wall of a building. He rests his head back on the stone and closes his eyes. Right now, it won’t do any good to get worked up about it – not anymore, at least. Since he’s lost the murderer, he now needs to think about how to find him. Just like in the rerun, there are clues. The killer isn’t a total mystery – Yuuya can learn more about him.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Yuuya tries to think back to what he remembers of the guy. Descriptions are pointless – it was too dark out – but actions are important. Yuuya remembers coming close to the man; he lost him when he vaulted over that wall. Yuuya didn’t know how far he would land or where he would end up, but that man did. That either means he’s a local citizen in Maiami, or that he planned this murderer out. Did that man know he would kill tonight?

Yuuya can’t answer that question, so he moves on. He wants to know why Yoko was killed? What reason would anyone have to kill her? Yuuya doesn’t remember her hinting at any danger when she arrived at his home; she came to see him because _he_ was hurt, and Yuuya knows that rerun doesn’t have anything to do with her death. In fact, the only time Yoko was acting strange was yesterday at the park, when that man …

That same man. Thinking back to that time, the kidnapper had glasses on too. In the shadows, it was all Yuuya could see of him. That man saw Yoko too, and he stopped and left. It pains Yuuya to think that he put Yoko in danger in that moment – that by saving the little girl, Yuuya rewrote time to where Yoko would inevitably be killed the following day.

How did that man know where Yuuya and Yoko lived? Did that man follow them home afterwards, and then plan to kill Yoko when Yuuya wasn’t home? What would’ve happened if he _was_ home? Would Yoko still die? Yuuya thinks back to what happened in that moment, but his mind draws him back to the kidnapping.

_If that man killed Mom, then he could come after me or Hiiragi. We’re both in danger too. But …_

That doesn’t make sense. If the man was killing witnesses, why did he go out of the house? Yuuya was as much of a witness to that kidnapping as Yoko was; he saw the man too. But the killer didn’t hide in the house and kill him. Instead, he was in the landlady’s yard, waiting for Yuuya. What was he waiting for, Yuuya wonders.

_Did he not plan to kill me? Why am I still alive? Why …_

Yuuya swallows. Was he always supposed to live? The man was across the garden waiting for him; the landlady wouldn’t have seen him come out of the house. She saw Yuuya though: she saw him jump off his balcony and run through her yard. Sweat forms on his palms. What if the landlady never called the cops after the murderer? What if the landlady was calling after him? And then the police caught him too – Yuuya ran into one when he was trying to pursue the criminal. He raised his hands to the police though, and they hadn’t stopped him.

Yuuya looks down at his shaking hands. They’re cracked and covered in blood from performing CPR on Yoko.

The police officer was on his way to the scene of the crime, and Yuuya, the only person living with Yoko, was seen with blood on his hands and running away from his house.

_I’ve been framed! That bastard framed me for killing Mom!_

Yuuya scrubs a hand over his face, shoulders quaking. He wasn’t supposed to die; he was supposed to get caught! That was why the man disappeared: he didn’t want to get away. He wanted to lead Yuuya out of the house, past the landlady who would call the cops on him, and then towards a main street that the cops would surely take to get to his house. In any sense, Yuuya is the prime suspect, but he’s been seen by two people with evidence from the crime.

A bright light shines behind Yuuya, and for a moment he freezes.

“Hey, you there!”

A cold sweat washes over his body now. A cop has found him. The cop might not know it’s him yet, but any moment the light will catch on Yuuya and his bloodied hands, and he’ll be arrested. He has to get away now before he’s caught! His mother shouldn’t be dead, but Yuuya _can’t_ be pinned as her murderer! He needs to go back now!

_Go back._

His heart pounds in his ears. That’s right, he needs to go back – back to before this murderer, or even back to a time when Yuuya can capture the criminal. He needs a rerun to save himself. It’s the only thing that he can do to stop this. The light in his eyes is too close now, a hand stretching out like a mourning shadow to grab Yuuya’s shirt.

 _Go back!_ Yuuya screams to himself. _Go back, go back further!_

His heart blares in his ears, echoing down the alleyway. Yuuya’s vision fades, and he screams louder. _Go back as far as you can! Go back to save her! Go back as far as possible!_

_Thud!_

Yuuya hits the snowy ground with a dull thud, head spinning. His body hurts from wherever he’s landed in; dizzily, Yuuya tries to stand. He can’t. His body is frozen for a moment, so on the ground he tries to examine his settings. It’s a clear, blue day with fluffy clouds, no longer the hellish nighttime that Yuuya was in. It’s also snowing despite it being May, but perhaps this is a dream. Perhaps it’s no longer May.

It’s strange to feel the snow under his body. He flexes his fingers in it. Craning his neck, Yuuya can see only the tops of several buildings also covered in snow.

“Hi there, are you all right?” a woman asks. Now she’s taking him all of his vision, pink-cheeked and red-nosed in the cold. Before Yuuya can open his mouth, the woman says, “Up on your feet. Be on your way to school now.”

 _School?_ Yuuya thinks. He hasn’t gone to school in years. With a strong blink, he sits up in the snow. Now his vision is wider: on either side of him are quaint little buildings down a street. There’s a bakery, a game store, and a barber shop all in view. The names look familiar, but this doesn’t look like a delivery route Yuuya’s ever done. There are mountains in view too – great, looming behemoths stretching up to the skies – that don’t belong in Maiami either. The last time Yuuya checked, Maiami was a flat, suburban city.

Now Yuuya is confused. He sticks out a hand to catch the snowflakes. It can’t be snowing in May in Maiami. Never. This must be a mistake; he must be dreaming to be in such a strange place. It’s a familiar dream, like a flicker of deja vu.

_Where am I?_

Before Yuuya can think further, something hits him atop the head and shoves his face into the snow. He gets a mouthful of it too, and whoever hit him pushed him in so far that it takes Yuuya a moment to lift himself up. He does though, spitting snow and cheeks frozen, Yuuya.

“Hey –”

“Hey Yuuya, you’re gonna be late if you don’t hurry.”

It’s a boy. Vaguely Yuuya knows the boy, like he might have read about him in a book before or seen him once on the street. He has bright blue hair with pointed yellow bangs that are jutting up because of a headwarmer that he wears. Dimples poke into his cheeks when he smiles and laughs, giving one last wave before dashing off. Yuuya watches him go, unable to say anything. He can’t even get mad at the kid because … who is that?

Now Yuuya is really confused. He stands up and makes to run after the boy, but only gets two steps ahead before stopping abruptly. Ahead Yuuya sees a tall building enclosed by a gate. It’s several stories high and built so dynamically that he’s surprised it doesn’t tip over in the winter weather. There is a tunnel circling around the high levels that also spreads out into more rooms. Through the windows, Yuuya can see students milling about.

He’s in the courtyard. There is a playground and an ice rink, and along the snowy field there are dozens of snow sculptures from past days. It’s a school, Yuuya realises. A familiar school, one that Yuuya must’ve seen in a history book … maybe. It’s almost too familiar.

He can safely rule out that he’s not anywhere near the crime scene now. In fact, Yuuya doesn’t even think this is the same date or time, or the same city. Everything looks so different to Yuuya that it makes his mind spin. Where could the rerun send him? He was meant to get out of danger and to find Yoko’s killer? It should have brought him somewhere where they would be clues, not to a distant dream in a winter wonderland.

_This looks familiar though._

Yuuya’s been here before. He spins in a circle once more, taking in the small shops and the long, narrow streets. That’s a path he’s walked down a hundred times before. And the field – he’s played at this field before. He skated on that rink and made snow sculptures. This isn’t from a book; it’s from a memory.

Yuuya looks back up at the building, eyes drifting to banner hanging from the top of the dome area. It reads: 1988 Ice Hockey Championships.

_Thud!_

Only this time the sound isn’t a rerun, but the slamming of Yuuya’s heart in his chest. He’s not in Maiami anymore, and it’s not 2006. He’s not working at Maiami Pizza and drawing manga in his spare time. His mother didn’t come to see him during an accident, and she didn’t die days later because she witnessed an attempted kidnapping. Yuuya never saw the killer either – at least not yet in this timeline – and he didn’t run away from the police.

Yuuya has gone back in time. It’s winter 1988. He’s …

He’s little. Yuuya looks down at his small hands and knees quaking in the cold. His winter jacket is unzipped and his jeans are soaked from falling in the snow. A backpack on his shoulders contains homework dated for February.

 _I’m back in elementary school,_ thinks Yuuya. _I remember this. This is Heartland Elementary where I went to school. 1988 is a familiar year for me too. But how did I get so far back? Never before has the rerun jumped me so far back in time?_

 _I wanted to rerun,_ Yuuya thinks, _but why this year? What’s the clue in here? How will being here … save me and Mom?_


	7. Chapter 7

February 15, 1998. That’s the date he’s in. That’s the year his rerun chose for him, like a benevolent saviour from that terrible day. Yuuya doesn’t understand why he reran to this day of this month of this year, or why anything makes sense in this life. When he reruns, he goes back minutes, not decades. This is the first time a rerun has ever gone wrong … No, this is the _second_ time. The first time was when he tried to prevent his mother’s death, and the rerun only encouraged him to find the killer. That time he didn’t jump back so far in time though; nonetheless, the rerun didn’t turn out how he wanted it to.

Yuuya swallows a pit in his throat. He has one hand on the door frame to brace himself. Right now, his legs are too shaky to trust them to keep him upright. Across the classroom is the blackboard with the date. The teacher’s desk is in the corner, primly arranged; before that desk are at least two dozen more, all in neat rows. There are large windows above the wooden cubbies. Through them, Yuuya can see the snowy streets of Heartland. He’s not at the top-most part of the school, but still high enough to feel like he has a bird’s eye view of the world.

What _isn’t_ in place are the students. Everyone is out of their seats and milling around, talking about new shows and games, about the recent snowfalls, and about the assigned homework. Yuuya only has a vague recollection of anything they’re saying. After all, it’s been eighteen years since he’s lived this exact day. In fact, Yuuya feels quite lost. None of these faces he’s seen in eighteen years. He doesn’t know anyone.

In this moment, Yuuya begins to see just how much he’s forgotten about his childhood. He glances around for his friends, blurry faces at the edges of his memory. Who did he talk to in elementary school? If they were his friends, shouldn’t he remember them? Yuuya also can’t remember his teacher’s name; that’ll be embarrassing if he gets called on.

Yuuya doesn’t have long to think though. The door towards the front of the classroom opens, and a young, jovial man steps in. At one point in his life, this man must’ve been an entertainer: he has a beaming expression and brings such energy to the room. However, in recent years he’s calmed down. Dressed in a crisp, blue business suit with a orange and yellow tie, the teacher steps through the doorway. His eyes glance over the students already hurrying to their seats.

“Good morning, everyone!”

A chorus of “Good morning, Teacher!” echoes back.

The teacher’s head inclines towards the edge of the room, towards where Yuuya still stands in the doorway. “What’s wrong, Yuuya? Hurry up and take your seat.”

Yuuya jumps at the mention of his name. “Yes, Teacher!” He takes two hurried steps forward, until his mind skips a beat and he stops. He doesn’t know where he’s meant to sit. That wouldn’t be a detail he’d ever remember. Yuuya wonders if he should be sitting next to his friends, but then again he can’t spot their faces in the crowd of twenty or so fifth graders staring at him as he has this mental dilemma. Blushing, Yuuya scans the classroom. There are two seats empty; one of those must be his! He imagines he’d be closer to the front, ever the attentive student that he is.

With a triumphant smile, Yuuya heads to the desk and sets his backpack down. He pulls out the chair to sit, but a small hand holds it steady.

“Hey Sakaki,” a boy says, “are you still asleep?”

Yuuya blinks. “Huh?”

“That’s Akaba’s seat.”

He’s picked wrong. “Oh, sorry.” Quickly he looks behind him towards the other seat. There’s a girl sitting next to this one. Her hair is tied up in a high ponytail with a yellow ribbon. Judging by the way her eyes are half-lidded, she’s either asleep or bored. Yuuya suspects both. She does no more than incline her head in his general direction when he hangs his bag on the hook attached to his desk, and takes his seat with a deep sigh.

From the front of the room, the teacher begins to write on the board in large, curly kanji that makes it hard to read what he’s saying. Even with the eyes of an adult, Yuuya squints to read the print.

“It’s Monday today,” the teacher says, more to himself that anyone else. “I guess Reira will be late this week too.”

 _Akaba Reira._ Yuuya remembers the name of his classmate, and more specifically his untimely death. However, this is before that, and that means today Reira will come to class. There’s a yearning in him to see Reira with his own two eyes. Yuuya can’t remember him in anything besides that one photo at the funeral. What was Reira like in class? Was he shy? Did he skip class often?

Under her breath, the girl next to him says, “Sakaki, do you like Akaba?” No skirting around the topic, no metaphors or imagery. No, on Yuuya’s first day in 1988 he’s asked by a mysterious classmate if he likes Reira, the girl he only knows from news articles of her death. It’s too horrific to imagine – and what should he say? Yuuya can’t remember if he ever liked Akaba back then. Did he? Should he?

Thankfully, his classmate spares him from thinking too hard. She cocks a smirk and leans further against her hand. “You two weirdos would be kinda cute, don’t you think?”

Yuuya doesn’t know. He slumps forward in his desk, soul sliding out of his body.

This must be a dream. Yuuya must’ve been hit by another car or something, and he’s now remembering everything that’s he’s lost 18 years ago. That must be it; there can be no other reason. Can this even be considered a rerun? Yuuya has never jumped so far back in time. In the present, his mother is dead and he was trying to find her killer; he was researching kidnappings. That has to do with Reira, but he completed the rerun to save Yoko. Was Yoko’s death planned eighteen years ago?

That can’t make sense. It just can’t.

Yuuya’s teeth dig into his lip. Why was he sent so far back if it wasn’t to save his mother? Was he meant to save Reira? But then Reira isn’t even in class, so how can he help him?

_Is this what I’m meant to see before I die?_

Class passes on blissfully without him. Yuuya is trapped in his swirling memories that drown him in thoughts and mysteries. It makes no sense why he would return eighteen years ago to February, when he was in his final year of elementary school. What could possibly be in this timeline that would prevent _Yoko’s_ death?

The more Yuuya thinks though, the more his head hurts. There’s too much to focus on. It must be break time: his classmates are talking about a recent video game they’ve started playing, one that Yoko wouldn’t have let him buy even today. There’s another conversation about homework; this Yuuya tries to pay attention to because it might give him a clue about what’s to happen next in his day, but over the sound of his churning mind he can’t keep track of the words.

How is he meant to get through today? He’s an adult trapped in a child’s body – he doesn’t remember what he’s supposed to do in fifth grade.

“Hey.”

Yuuya swallows hard, a hand pressing tight into his stomach. He feels sick thinking about how his day is going to go. How is he going to get home? Will he remember the way home? And what about his course work? He needs to perform just like a child. That pressure to perform, it hurts him. He’s supposed to be an entertainer, an improviser, but right now Yuuya just feels ill.

“Hey, Yuuya.”

He sniffs into his hand. He’s getting upset over this, and he’s in the middle of class, and he’s an _adult._ He can’t be crying over this, can he?

_“Yuuya.”_

He jumps, startled. There’s a boy sitting across from him. Now that Yuuya doesn’t have to look at twenty pairs of eyes, he realises that he _knows_ this boy. It’s Yuuto, with his wise, purple irises and spiky hair. Yuuto is the kid in class too wise for his age. He’s the leader of the group Yuuya joined, and he takes care of those closest to him.

Leaning to the side, Yuuto asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Um.” Yuuya can’t tell anyone about the rerun, even in this timeline. “I’m … feeling a bit sick. My stomach really hurts.” He motions his head down to his hand, which is jammed into his gut. It’s all that’s stopping Yuuya from hurling on his desk. When Yuuto doesn’t say anything, Yuuya stands up on legs made of jelly, swinging his backpack over his shoulder. “I should probably go see the nurse, right?” A smile. He needs to get out of here and find out what’s going wrong. He might he an elementary schooler, but Yuuya has a murder mystery to solve.

Yuuto raises an eyebrow at him. “And you need your backpack for that?”

 _Shit._ Yuuya panics before nodding, breath caught in his lungs. What does Yuuto suspect him of?

“Well, whatever,” Yuuto says after a moment. “Feel better, and I’ll tell that to the teacher.”

If Yuuya nods, he’s certain he’ll be sick. So he smiles, cheeks pinched, and then heads out of the room. As soon as he’s in the hallway, he dashes towards the elevator. His feet pound on the linoleum floors, walls and doors blurring at the corners of his eyes. Heartland Academy would be a wonderful place if he could see it; however, Yuuya needs to get out of here. He won’t get back to saving Yoko if he’s in school.

He makes it to the elevator where he jams the button repeatedly until the door opens. There’s no one inside, and the ride down flips his stomach. Thoughts swirl in his mind, images of his classmates and teacher. Who are they to him? Yuuya can’t remember what he did with his friends or how he was in class? Hell, he only just learnt where his seat was.

 _I can’t do this,_ thinks Yuuya, rushing out the door. He’s greeted by an icy wind, not the gentle, May breeze that he should expect. No, he’s in Heartland in March, where there is still snow and ice. As Yuuya looks out at the city, he tries to spot anything that will help him. He hasn’t been to his hometown in _ages._ Where does he go now?

With a groan, he sinks down on the steps. His temples throb in a way that the chill can’t solve. Yuuya presses his frozen fingers against his head, praying that some of the pain eases.

_What’s going on? Why am I here? Is this a rerun? Should I try to rerun again? What should I do? What am I supposed to do? I don’t belong here, don’t live here anymore; this isn’t my life. I’m not supposed to be here! What am I meant to do? Who can help me?_

Mom.

Yuuya stiffens. In this timeline, Yoko would still be alive. Yoko should be here, and Yuuya can see her again.

Yoko isn’t dead.

Pain flies away as Yuuya leaps off the steps and dashes down the pathway out of his school grounds. The snow gives way to ice which he nearly falls onto; more than once Yuuya’s hands fly out on either side of him and he catches himself on a fence or shrub. Nonetheless, he doesn’t stop running. He doesn’t even know where he’s meant to run; his childhood home is a blurry memory like everything else from this timeline.

As he dashes down the street, a flicker of red catches in his vision. He turns for a moment, spotting purple hair and sunken eyes, before he dashes onwards. Whoever it is, he’ll see them at school tomorrow. They were going to class.

In the deep recesses of Yuuya’s memory, his legs take him to his home. The building is tucked back on a side-street; he lives on the bottom floor of a small apartment complex. The building is boring stone, not much to look at. There’s a doormat that says “ENJOY!” and a little mailbox on the ground; other than that, his house is bland.

Yuuya tries the doorknob first, twisting it back and forth when it doesn’t budge. He knocks twice. “Mom! Mom!”

No answer. Behind him, Yuuya spots a stranger watching him. Does this stranger know him or Yoko? Does he look like a criminal trying to break into the house?

He’s ten, he reminds himself.

Yuuya looks back down at the mailbox. A memory pops into his head: he’d come home from school before her, and he’d let himself in. Yoko put a key somewhere for him, in a place where no one would suspect it.

Yuuya lifts the top of the mailbox. It’s dark inside, but when he reaches in his fingers brush against a small flap taped against the wood. It’s a pocket of sorts, not meant to hold mail or anything large, but to keep safe a small, silver key. Yuuya flips it back and forth in his palms, a smile on his lips. He unlocks the door and steps inside.

He’s back in his childhood home. It’s a cosy place, a one-bedroom apartment with all their furniture crammed inside. Directly off the genkan is the dining room and kitchen. A large, oak table sits in the centre, upon which a plate of wrapped rice balls are waiting. Three chairs stand around it, even though only Yuuya and Yoko live there. There are pots and pans on the stove in preparation for dinner; Yuuya has fond memories of cooking with his mother.

And there are dishes, more dishes than a two-person household needs. Yoko liked to cook, Yuuya remembers that, and he looks into the cupboards for anything else. There are preserved foods too: jars of pickled vegetables, cans of soup and meat; even boxes of panko.

The other room is the bedroom. While the futon is put away, the room appears quite empty. There’s no television in Yuuya’s house, not even a gaming console, but there are dozens of books, board games, and card games on the shelves. A desk in one corner shelves his textbooks and school materials. His mother’s corkboard, on which she’s stuck several notes and reminders, sits on a low table with some of her books.

His goggles hang from one of the pegs on the corkboard. Yuuya pulls them off and flips them in his hands, running his fingers over the star-shaped sticker on one eyepiece. It’s been so long since he touched these; how could he forget something so precious to him?

_Mom, what was your last thought when you died? You looked at peace._

Yuuya looks around the room. _Do you remember your time in Heartland? Do you remember your own childhood? Do you remember_ mine?

The thoughts settle like a heavy weight on his mind. His stomach moans, and Yuuya presses a hand to his gut and settles down on the ground. All too quickly he rolls to his side, tears brimming in his eyes. He’s back in a time where people are alive, where he’s _happy._ Why then does he feel so upset?

Clutching the goggles close to him, Yuuya snuggles into the bare carpet. His head pounds one, twice – dull thuds that echo around the room – and then he is asleep.

He doesn’t wake up until what feels like hours later. There are footsteps in the other room – “Yuuya. Yuuya?” – and then the sliding of a door. Light streams into the dark room. Yuuya is still on the floor, he realises, hands clutching his favourite goggles. He’s passed out without any blankets, having run out of school early because of his sick stomach. Now though, Yuuya looks up with a warm smile. His mother is standing in the doorway. She’s the same age as she’s always appeared, with bushy blonde hair and emerald-green eyes.

“I’m home,” she says, tilting her head to smile.

She’s alive. Sakaki Yoko, his mother, is alive. Seeing her so vibrant makes Yuuya’s heart beat faster. This is a timeline where his mother wasn’t stabbed by a criminal. In this timeline, no one has disappeared or died yet, and everyone seems happy.

Yuuya dips his head, tears forming in his eyes. He needs to hide those from her or else she’ll suspect something’s wrong with him. Perhaps she already does; she is a mindreader after all.

“Mom,” Yuuya says, a smile forming on his lips.

Yoko leans her head to the side. “‘Mom?’”

Yuuya realises his mistake at once. Stumbling over his words, he corrects himself: “I said Mama, didn’t I?”

Yoko just laughs at him. “Sure you did.” She holds up a grocery bag for him, not showing him the contents but reminding him that she’s gone shopping today. “What do you want for dinner: hamburgers or meatballs?”

 _Is this a trick question?_ thinks Yuuya. What would ten-year-old Sakaki Yuuya say? He doesn't have long to think though before Yoko prompts him again, and Yuuya blurts out, “Hamburgers, please.” It seems like a safe choice; he remembers eating those as a kid.

Yoko grins. “I’ll be in the kitchen then.” She turns her back on him, leaving him in the darkened bedroom, and heads to make dinner. For a moment, Yuuya continues to lie on the carpet in the bedroom, rolling the goggles back and forth. It’s still a shock to see his mother alive and well. However, the sizzling sounds coming from the kitchen interest him, so he stands and heads to the doorway. Ahead, he can see her buzzing away.

 _The sounds of the kitchen fans. The sound of Mom cutting cabbages. The sound and smell of patties burning. The smell of miso soup. The sound and smell of cooking rice._ These are all memories flooding back to him. Standing at the doorway to the kitchen, Yuuya watches her cook. She moves like a performer, always in motion. Her act is a recipe she knows only in her mind.

“How was your day today?”

_She’s talking to me. I’m part of her entertainment._

“Good,” Yuuya answers. “I played in the snow a lot today.”

Yoko hms and hahs as she sprinkles spices over the patties. “Is that why I found you asleep on the ground then? Too tired to even pull out the futon?” She looks over her shoulder, first to see Yuuya rubbing his eyes, and then away from him and towards the uneaten rice balls. “And no snack too? Aren’t you hungry? You can eat a bit before dinner if you’d like.”

Yuuya shakes his head. “No thanks, I’m fine.” A pause. “Can I help with anything, Mo – Mama?”

She catches his slip-up the second it comes out, but her eyes still crinkle in amusement. With a lean of her head, she says, “Don’t you set the table? Or have you slept so much that you’ve forgotten your chores?”

This is something he would have known as a child, but thankfully Yoko is making excuses for him. Yuuya hurries forward and begins pulling out plates and cutlery for the meal. Just like that one meal he and Yoko shared at his house before her death, there are far too many dishes and plates for two people eating.

With a raised eyebrow, Yuuya mentions, “Mama, we’re going to have a lot of leftovers.”

“For breakfast then,” she says. “You can never have too many leftovers.”

Once the food is done, Yoko pours the miso soup into two bowls. She brings the patties and shredded cabbage on separate plates, and she serves him his meal with a bright smile. “I bet you’re so hungry if you didn’t eat your snack today. Maybe that’s why you were so tired, silly boy.”

Yuuya laughs with her, noticing how the corners of her mouth always turn upwards, and how she shows her white teeth each time. His mother laughs freely, like she wants the world to share in her excitement. To Yuuya’s surprise, he mimics her when he’s not shoveling rice or cabbage into his mouth.

About ten minutes into the meal though, Yoko stops cracking jokes. She leans her head on one palm and fixes him with a stare. Yuuya waits for her to speak, and when she doesn’t he takes a bite. Then she speaks up: “It’s like the fight we had about your trading cards this morning never happened at all.”

Yuuya blinks. That’s another thing he won’t remember from years ago. Thankfully, this conversation is much easier to get through. “I’m sorry, Mama.”

“You don’t have to cry.”

Huh? Yuuya opens his mouth to say something, but then he does feel the wetness on his cheeks. Setting down his chopsticks, Yuuya raises a hand to his face. Sure enough, salty tears cling to his fingers. They slip off his cheeks and onto the table, where he hurriedly tries to wipe them away with his shirt sleeves. Yoko leans over the table to help him, first using a napkin to clean the table, and then using her thumbs to dry his cheeks. Her skin against his feels good. She’s warm and soft, and she brushes under his eyes with the gentleness of a mother touching her newborn.

“You don’t have to cry,” she repeats. “Let’s move on from that moment.”

Sniffing, Yuuya nods. “Let’s.”

The rest of the dinner passes in blissful silence, punctuated only by the clink of their chopsticks on their plates, and their slurping of the miso soup. Yuuya doesn’t cry again, but at times he feels the emotion well up in him. It’s a happy feeling for sure, one that he hasn’t felt in several years. Perhaps losing Yoko has taught him to cherish the memories that he does have with her. He should appreciate the dinners and outings, all the time and love she’s spent with him. In that future time, he rarely saw her; she only came to visit him because he was in the hospital.

 _What would it be like,_ Yuuya wonders, _if Mom came to see me more?_

And still, this moment is but a normal occurrence. How many times has he had dinner with Yoko before and not thought about it? How many memories has he forgotten to cherish? This one though – Yuuya will cherish it forever. He is fortunate to be able to have dinner with his mother, to share stories with her, to eat her delicious cooking.

_I’ve lost a life too, haven’t I?_

Yuuya looks down at the food before him. Reruns are a chance, aren’t they? A chance to re-do a mistake and to stop a tragedy. Most of the time, Yuuya could stop a tragedy by changing the past moments before. However, perhaps in this case he needs to do more. Perhaps the events of the past eighteen years determined his mother’s death that night.

_Like hell I’ll let someone take these precious moments away from me._

With resolve in his chest, Yuuya sets down his empty bowl; he’s already polished off his other dishes. “Mama.”

Yoko looks up from her soup. “Yes?”

“Dinner tonight was delicious.” A genuine smile. “Thank you.”

This must not be what he says often – or often enough – for Yoko’s eyes widen and she lets her bowl hover a few inches below her mouth. She’s doesn’t thank him as well; for a few moments, she doesn’t say anything. She sets her bowl down once she realises she’s still holding it. “Did something happen, Yuuya?” she finally says.

Yuuya shakes his head. “No Mama, I’m just happy to have dinner with you tonight. I love your cooking!” When Yoko doesn’t say more, Yuuya hops down from his seat. “I’m full now, so I’ll start washing the dishes.” Right? Yuuya hopes that’s what he’s meant to do after dinner. Why can’t he remember these memories? They were important too.

Yoko finishes her meal while Yuuya fills the sink with bubbling water. She gives him her dishes with her lips pursed tight, and she ruffles his hair with her long fingers. “Thank you for the help, Yuuya.”

With his hands dunked in warm, soapy water, Yuuya can’t hug her. He leans into her side then and feels the rise and fall of her chest. “You’re welcome, Mama.”

After dinner, Yuuya heads to his room to do homework while Yoko cleans up the house. From time to time she peeks into his room asking if he needs help, but Yuuya’s mind is much older and this coursework is easy. He remember this from his school, so why has he forgotten those closest to him?

_I won’t lose this life, and she won’t lose hers._

Yuuya repeats it in his mind over and over again, even when he lies in bed next to Yoko. It’s been so long since he’s hugged her. As he got older, they drifted apart. Yuuya had to focus on school and work and manga, and Yoko … What did his mother do? Looking at her now, Yuuya wonders what would’ve happened to Yoko if he was with her more? If Yuuya spent more time with her that night, would she not have died?

Carefully, he reaches out from under the sheets to touch her rosy cheeks. She looks the same as she did eighteen years in the future.

* * *

“It’s snowing, Mama.” Yuuya presses his nose to the window, peering out at the white world beyond the window pane. Any and all footprints from yesterday have disappeared. Instead, the world is born anew from the snow, glimmering in the moonlight. The sun hasn’t risen yet, but Yuuya can still see how beautiful the city looks.

Next to him, Yoko leans in to look out the window. Her hands rest on his tiny shoulders, thumbs stroking the muscles and bones there. “You need to dress warmly today, especially if you’ll be playing in the snow at recess. I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

Yuuya nods and lets Yoko lead him away for breakfast. She sets him down before a bowl of miso soup, and a plate with rolled eggs, pickled vegetables, and small fish. “No pancakes today,” she says with a joke. “You need lots of warm foods on such a cold day.” When he’s taken his first bite of breakfast, Yoko pats the table where several rice balls lay. “These are for snack when you get home – eat them if you’re hungry, OK?”

Again, Yuuya nods. Yoko has already eaten breakfast and is ready for work. Dressed in a crisp suit, she is a a small-time reporter for a local TV company. Yoko can tell when anyone is lying, and she knows where to get the best scoops for a story. More than once Yoko has caught him trying to hide something from her, be it a bad grade or a present he’s bought her. She always knows what he’s thinking about too; he can’t keep a secret from her.

When breakfast is done, Yoko hurries him to get dressed and brush his teeth before she helps him with his coat. It’s one winter coat, nothing more. “Are you sure you won’t freeze?” she says. “Where are your … Yuuya, where are your mittens?”

Yuuya swallows. He didn’t have mittens yesterday, and he can’t remember what he did with them years ago. “I don’t know,” Yuuya answers. “Maybe I accidentally left them at school.”

“Bring them home then,” Yoko says. “I don’t want you getting sick.”

“I won’t, Mama.”

She zips the zipper up to his chin with a satisfied smirk. “I’m happy to hear that.” A quick hug, heart to heart. “Have a good day at school, Yuuya.”

Yuuya wishes the hug would last for eternity. “Have a good day at work, Mama.”

They part at the doorway, Yuuya giving Yoko one last wave as she heads to the train station. This time, Yuuya doesn’t wonder if this was what past-him would do. It doesn’t matter. His mother is too important for him to be worrying about if he’s doing everything right. Yuuya will solve this case … but he’ll do anything he can for Yoko. Even if it changes the future, loving Yoko is worth it.

The deep snow crunches under his feet as Yuuya makes his way to school. The sun has begun to peek over the white-capped mountains and bask the city in a golden glow. The snowy ground sparkles at his feet. Buildings shimmer in the dawn like white palaces. Close to his house is Heartland Academy, a citadel arching up to the blue sky.

Yuuya stands at the gate to his school and swallows. This is a place where he can’t make any mistakes. At school, he needs to act like a student. Yoko will find his behaviour suspicious no matter what he does, but here at Heartland Academy Yuuya is a student. He has friends.

“Good morning, Yuuya!”

Yuuya spins around, looking over heads to see who has greeted him. He should know his friends, but when no one looks up and waves at him, Yuuya drops his head to the ground. School will be hard because he’s forgotten so much about what it means to be a student. What is he meant to do here?

_Do I have to redo these eighteen years too? Is that how I can save Mom? I have enough hope and strength – I can do this. But why? Why did I go so far back?_

Yuuya looks up, eyes caught in the blustery snow, and blinks.

Akaba Reira.

She stands a few feet away from him, long hair whipped by the breeze. Unlike him, she’s dressed for the cold weather in a a black peacoat and a long, red scarf wrapped twice around her pale neck. Her vacant eyes don’t meet anyone’s; Reira keeps her expression neutral as she saunters past him.

Yuuya’s blood runs cold. Like in his memory, Reira is a wraith of a figure but he glows. Yuuya can’t stop looking when Reira walks past him and heads into class.

 _Am I here for him too?_ Yuuya thinks. _This is February, and in March … In March, Akaba Reira went missing._

Yuuya hurries forward to class before he loses sight of him. He walks just a few paces behind Reira through the double-doors of the school and to the elevator. They stand side by side in there, riding up together to their classroom. Yuuya sneaks glances at Reira’s emotionless face, but his classmate never looks back at him. When they exit the elevator, Yuuya resumes following Reira into his class. This time, he knows where his spot is, and he knows where Reira’s is too.

And this time when he steps into class, it feels a bit more familiar. Yuuya spots Yuuto sitting across from him, and he gives a quick smile. Across the room he notices Yuuri teasing Yuugo, or Yuugo teasing Yuuri; by this point, Yuuya isn’t sure who initiated the mocking. The girl who sits next to him is there too, and she gives little more than a stare when he hangs up his book bag and sits down at his desk.

Today, Reira is in class. It’s such a revelation to see him alive that once again Yuuya can’t pay attention to the lesson. Reira takes notes all class and never breaks focus to chat with anyone else.

_Am I meant to save Akaba Reira too?_

Yuuya knows next to nothing about him, other than that they are in the same class and that Reira will die in one month. That’s nothing to go off of. How can he stop Reira’s disappearance if he knows nothing about him? How is he supposed to get close to Reira? In the future, the people Yuuya was closest to were those that got close to _him._ He’s not a leader; he’s an entertainer at most.

When did Reira go missing again? That’s a key detail that Yuuya has forgotten. Before he even thinks about how he’ll save Reira, he should know his timeline. When does Reira die?

Reira shifts forward, crossing his legs. His skirt shifts forward to show the bottom of two deep, ugly bruises. They’re mottled purple and red, even scabbing in areas where it looks like something has _cut_ him. Worst of all, the bruises look fresh. They can’t be more than a few days old.

Yuuya swallows. There’s no way those marks came from a fall. They look rather deliberate, like someone pushed Reira into something or hit him. Yesterday, Reira wasn’t in class. Did this happen yesterday then? Yuuya frowns. Does it hurt Reira to have those bruises on him? Who hurt Reira?

He doesn’t have much longer to think though before class is dismissed for lunch, and Yuugo is at his desk and tugging him to the window. “Come on, come on! Let’s have lunch! It’s damn cold out too, so we should take the spot by the heater before someone else gets to it.”

“Wimp,” Yuuri says, passing them by. “That’s why you don’t wear shorts in February, Yuugou.”

 _“Yuugo,”_ he snaps back, “and you can wear shorts any time of the year.”

“Suit yourself.” Yuuri, dressed in a thick sweater and jeans, huddles up towards the flame. Yuugo pushes him aside so that they can both cram by the space heater. When Yuuto catches them shoving each other, he tells them both to knock it off before taking up his spot with his back to the window. Of their group, Yuuto is the oldest and most serious member: he leans against the window with one leg crossed over the other, holding a book in his hands.

“Yuuya, are you going to join us?”

Yuuya realises he’s still standing a few feet away from everyone else. He scans the group – where is he supposed to stand? There’s a place between Yuuri and Yuuto which he takes up, settling on top of a desk with his feet dangling towards the ground.

By this point, Yuugo has already started ranting about how no one plays extreme sports anymore. “Like imagine, you could do anything on a motorcycle: card games, board games, computer games. Imagine doing flips on a motorcycle. Oh, and how about rock climbing with a hundred pound attached to you –”

“You’re getting more ridiculous the longer you talk,” Yuuri says. “What, are you going to suggest these as P.E. ideas?”

“... maybe.”

A sigh. “We can’t rock climb –”

“We can too! There are tons of mountains out there to climb!” Yuugo huffs, arms crossed. “You’re just weird Yuuri because your arms are so skinny you can’t even lift a single box.”

“Well who needs to?” Yuuri says. “I don’t need to be as strong as you –”

“You’re not as strong as _anyone.”_

Is this … how he hung out with his friends? Yuuya swallows hard. He remembers Yuugo and Yuuri bickering quite a bit, but there had to be more, right? What did he do with his friends? What is he meant to say?

Yuuto coughs into his fist, and all three of them look up. Now that he’s gathered their attention, Yuuto says, “Well, isn’t it kinda neat how some of us are stronger or smarter? We’re not all supposed to be same. If Yuuri needs help carrying something, he can come to you for help. And if you, Yuugo, can’t do your homework, I think Yuuri might be able to help you. That’s what friends are for, right? They can help you.”

That’s the Yuuto that Yuuya remembers. He’s wise beyond his years, the peacemaker of the group. Yuuya looks up to Yuuto even now. He’s such a calming figure that Yuuya feels himself breathe a sigh of relief. He’s also smart, smarter than Yuuya is even now. He’s a different kind of entertainer, one that envelops the room in placidity.

Now Yuuto is looking at him. “Yuuya, can I ask you a question?”

Yuuya smiles. “Sure, Yuuto.”

“Do you like Akaba?”

Yuuya chokes. “Huh?”

Yuuto continues on, undeterred. “You were looking at her a lot in class today.”

 _Shit._ Yuuya had been looking at Reira because he was trying to figure out how to approach her; however, if anyone else were looking – and Yuuto does sit next to him – Yuuya must’ve appeared to be staring at Reira.

Now that the conversation has turned, and Yuugo and Yuuri have stopped arguing with each other, Yuugo has joined into this conversation. “Oh yeah, Yuuya, I saw you staring at Akaba too! When I came to school this morning and said hello, you were staring at her!” He leaps off his seat and grabs Yuuya by the shoulders, a splitting grin on his face. “If you need help with girls, that’s my speciality.”

“No girl would like you,” Yuuri sniffs from the side.

Yuugo is continuing on though, now shaking Yuuya back and forth. “I’ll set you two up on a date. Yuuya, you’ve gotta come to school tomorrow in a suit – girls like that! Bring roses too! In movies, dates always bring their partner roses! In no time I’ll have Akaba be your partner!”

Yuuya swallows hard, trying to escape Yuugo’s grasp. “You’re really loud, Yuugo ...”

“Love can’t be quiet!”

This isn’t how Yuuya wants to save Reira though. If he goes in trying to confess his love for him, Reira will probably just give him a weird look and continue on. But …

Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya sees Yuuri watching him. _Yuuri … you went missing after Reira, didn’t you? What happened to you too? Why did you go missing after Reira?_

Yuuya shakes himself free of Yuugo’s hold and takes a step back. His heart beats fast in his chest and for a second he doesn’t know what to say. What is he supposed to say? Who is he? He’s not the ten-year-old Yuuya anymore. He’s an adult here, gone back in time to save his mother and several missing children.

“I …” He swallows. “I don’t really like him. He just caught my eye.” It’s the honest truth.

_I’ve decided that I’ll prevent the kidnappings from happening. If I’m here a month before Akaba goes missing, and Yuuri goes missing a bit later, that must mean I can do something about this. I can … and I want to. I don’t want to see my friends disappear._

Over the whirlwind of his own thoughts Yuuya hears Yuuri talking about meeting someone. He can’t think much about it though because now Yuuya has to think about how he’ll prevent Reira’s kidnapping. Right now what’s most important is finding how he’ll save Reira. He needs a way to keep her safe. However, Yuuya knows next to nothing about Reira and he’s never gotten close to her before.

 _Did … did I know something about Akaba back then?_ Yuuya’s childhood memories are distant, but not once can he remember ever talking to her in class. Back then, Reira had been a shadow at the corner of Yuuya’s mind. Even once she went missing, Yuuya doesn’t remember feeling particularly sad; not until Yuuri went missing did Yuuya pay attention to the disappearances. Now though, Yuuya needs to focus on keeping Reira safe. He needs to talk to her. He needs to –

“Yuugo’s going over to talk to her,” Yuuri whispers in his ear.

Yuuya’s head shoots up, snapping out of his thoughts, and he looks across the room. Sure enough, Yuugo is at Reira’s desk, leaning forward to loom over her. Over the chatter of the other students Yuuya can’t hear just what Yuugo is asking of Reira, though he can fathom a terrible guess judging by how Reira’s lips are pressed into a tight, thin line, and how his dark eyes appear stormy. Comparatively, Yuugo is rainbows and sunshine next to her, talking in grandiose gestures that make Yuuri stifle his laughter.

At that moment, Yuugo chooses to gesture towards Yuuya. Reira’s cold eyes follow where Yuugo is pointing, and she meets Yuuya’s gaze with a long blink. Reira doesn’t even look alive at that moment.

Yuuya swallows. There’s nothing he can do now. Yuugo has gone and introduced Yuuya to Reira, and any minute now they’ll finish up and –

A hand claps him tight on the shoulder; next to him, Yuugo grins. “Go say hi to Akaba after school! He’ll be waitin’ for ya!”

With a sigh rising up from the bottom of his toes, Yuuya glances up. Reira is no longer looking at them, her gaze turned back to the blackboard. Her skirt is adjusted to rest low over her pale legs which are crossed at the ankles. This time, Yuuya sneaks little more than a glance; no bruises on her calves. Those other bruises though worry Yuuya. He wonders how many more litter Reira’s porcelain body like bites from a demon.

Class resumes and leaves Yuuya thinking about it all lesson. He tries to crane his head to see if there are any visible marks on Reira’s neck or wrists, but it proves fruitless. Not to mention that Yuuya can no longer just stare at Reira without having Yuuto or Yuugo commenting on his greedy glances; Yuuya has to be careful about where he’s looking or else his nosey friends will start making up stories.

It’s at this point that Yuuya wonders if anyone else has seen the bruises on Reira’s legs. Should he tell his friends that Reira is hurt? Should he tell the teacher? It doesn’t sound like his duty, and he’s sure Reira would tell someone if he was being bullied at school.

When class ends, Yuuya hangs around at his seat with his head clouded until Yuugo shakes him awake. “You need to go see Akaba! She’s waiting for you outside! Go on and ask her out!”

Yuuya shakes himself free, ears red. “That’s not what I’m going to do, Yuugo, and I hope you didn’t tell her that.”

“He did.” That would be Yuuri.

“I just told her that you really wanted to talk to her, and that you like looking at her in class! Honest!” A chuckle. “And that you wanted to get to know her better …”

Yuuya sighs. It could be worse, and in Yuugo’s defense he was trying to help. Maybe this is Yuugo’s way of taking care of Reira too. Yuuya’s job though is to _save_ Reira, and he won’t get far if he doesn’t make the first step. Resolved, Yuuya gives his friends a quick salute and swings his backpack over his shoulders. “Ladies and Gentlemen, wish me luck!”

This gets Yuugo cheering, and even Yuuto and Yuuri smile, and he remembers their happy faces as he runs out of the classroom and down the stairs. He’s wasted time talking to everyone; Reira should be outside of the school right now waiting for him. Perhaps it’s a good thing Yuugo asked Reira to wait off the school grounds where fewer people will hear Yuuya make a fool of himself before a mysterious boy. Bursting out of the door, Yuuya sees Reira. He stands just outside of the school gate, leaning up against a sturdy oak tree. Its tall branches droop with heavy snow and its bark is frozen. Reira’s long, red scarf blows in the wind, and she raises her gaze when she spots him approaching her school.

“Are you stupid?” The very first words out of her mouth, spoken in little more than a hushed whisper. In fact, Reira doesn’t sound confident in her words.

Nonetheless – “That’s blunt!” _Is … is that how you greet people?_

“Blunt?” Reira swallows.

Realising that he’s blurted out that word, Yuuya takes a hasty step back. Already this meeting feels like it’s gone off the rails. Across from him, Reira looks uncomfortable. His face is mushed into the thick scarf so that all Yuuya can see are a pair of eyes. Yuuya shivers in just his winter jacket. Now that the words are out, he can’t think of what else to say.

“Um … sorry about that. I just … wanted to be friends with you, Akaba. We walk the same way, so let’s walk home together, OK?”

“Why?” Reira looks down at his feet, voice neutral. “Why would you want to be friends with me?

“Well –”

Reira cuts him off. “I think I might know, Sakaki.” A sniff; Reira raises a hand to rub at his red nose. “You’re lonely like me, aren’t you?” A pause, this time for Reira to raise his head. “You are an entertainer, right?”

Yuuya nods. Finally, a conversation he can have! “That’s right –”

“Wrong.” Reira wrings her hands together, fingers white from the cold. “You’re an imposter like me. You pretend just like me. The only difference is that you smile.”

His hands rise up to touch the corners of his lips, tight from the blustery wind. Yuuya swallows thickly at Reira’s assumption, unable to defend it because … Well, because it’s true. Yuuya smiles to help others smile, but does he himself gain pleasure from their happiness? Is he pretending to live a happy life? Eighteen years in the future, he’s not smiling; he’s working part-time at a pizza joint because of his unsuccessful manga career. He’s no entertainer.

But how does Reira know that? Reira doesn’t look like an imposter, unless she’s talking about something she’s kept hidden.

While Yuuya thinks, Reira kicks his boots on the ground. “Sakaki, I saw you running home yesterday. You live near me, you said, right?”

When Reira doesn’t speak further, Yuuya prompts him: “That’s right.”

“Can I ask you a question then?”

“Yes.”

Reira’s icy gaze pierces into him. “Is your mom really that important to you?”

She is. Yoko is everything in his life. She’s been by his side ever since birth, and returning to this timeline has reminded him just how much she has done for him. Yuuya wishes more than anything that he could prove to Yoko just how much he loves her. However, for Reira to say that? Does Reira not love his mother? Yuuya has never been to Reira’s house before, and so he knows nothing about Mrs. Akaba. Maybe Reira comes from a strict family, or from a family without a mother.

_In the present time, I am now from a family without a mother._

Yuuya shakes his head. No, Yoko is still alive. He’s going to save her too.

“Yeah.” Yuuya balls his hands in fists, feels the muscles groan from the cold. “Yeah, she’s important to me.”

“I see.” Reira turns on his heel and begins to turn away. The edges of her red scarf catch in the wind and fly up behind her like two long tails of a mythical beast. She’s getting away. Before she can take a step further, Yuuya lunges out to stop him,

“Wait, Akaba! I’m not done talking with you. I –” Yuuya stops and takes a deep breath. “I want to be your friend!”

Reira halts, toes in the deep snow. She doesn’t turn around, and her long hair and longer scarf flap in the wind. It’s this situation that Yuuya gambles on. To save Yoko, he must have to save Reira too. He needs Reira to listen to him then, and to save her he needs to get closer to. To protect Reira, Yuuya needs to find out what exactly he’s protecting him from.

“Friends?” Reira repeats. His voices is snatched up and thrown to the clear blue skies, scattering around the world. Yuuya hears it echoed in his frozen ears.

“Friends.”

Reira bows her head. “Then can you kill someone for me?”


	8. Chapter 8

_“Would you kill someone for me?” He said that. Does Akaba know that he will die?_

Yuuya leans his head back on the wall. Yuugo and Yuuri are at each other’s throats again after class, arguing about who got the question right on their homework. Yuuto ignores both of them in favour of reading a book that even Yuuya doesn't know with his mature mind. He always knew Yuuto was a wise guy, but the details Yuuya has picked up during these two days tell him that perhaps he should ask Yuuto if he’s noticed anything suspicious about Reira.

Then again, if Yuuya asks then maybe Yuuto will think there’s something suspicious about _him._ Yuuya doesn’t want that. No one can know about the rerun or about the future. This is his problem to solve. He needs to change the past to save the future, but one slip here and he could make it worse. Yuuya needs to work carefully to make sure he keeps Reira and Yuuri alive without endangering himself or his mother.

What worries Yuuya most is Reira. Does Reira know that he’s travelled back in time? Does she know that in less than a month she’ll be the first target in a series of kidnappings? Is that why she called him an ‘imposter’? Because she too is stuck in a timeline where she repeatedly dies. No, that doesn’t make sense. Reira was talking about entertainers and imposters, about genuine and fake smiles. The smile Yuuya wears today is that of an imposter; it pinches his cheeks and hurts his gums. He’s faking so that his friends don’t suspect anything is wrong with him.

Perhaps Reira knows that he’s pretending to be someone he’s not. Growing up, Yuuya remembers telling himself that he needed to act like someone who _was_ an entertainer so that his friends would like him. Back then, Yuuya played the part of a friend and son so that he could remain close to his classmates and Yoko. It didn’t work though …

_Is Akaba warning me?_

Akaba Reira is an imposter too. Yuuya wants to know what that means. If Reira is playing a role too, who is she entertaining? What does she do?

 _I need to get close to her._ Over his shoulder and through the window, Yuuya can see Reira and her red scarf exiting the school grounds. She walks home alone every day down the same path as Yuuya. He doesn’t know where her house is on that route, but perhaps he could find out if he followed her. That would be a good first step … but what if he gets caught?

“That’s Akaba out there, isn’t it?” Like a phantom, Yuuri is by his shoulder with a shit-eating grin across his face. He rubs away the condensation clinging to the window pane with his shirt sleeve and peers outside. “Yep, that’s her all right.”

That is all Yuugo needs to stop talking about the time he did a trick on his skateboard and jump to talking about Yuuya’s crush on Reira. Throwing himself forward, Yuugo asks, “So Yuuya, how did the meeting go? Did you two talk? Did you two … _kiss?”_

Yuuya blushes red to the tips of his ears and glances down at the ground.

“Did you walk her home? Did you ask her out yet?”

Raising a shaky hand, Yuuya tries to quell Yuugo’s incessant questions. “No, no, nothing like that. I didn’t get to say much, so we have a … a lot more to talk about.”

It’s a satisfying response for Yuugo who removes his face from mere inches away from Yuuya’s; however, Yuuri doesn't drop the conversation. “But you two got so close. I don’t know _anyone_ who’s ever been able to talk with Akaba before, so you must be _special_ to him.”

“You … were watching?”

Yuuri winks. “Front of house seats.” He laughs afterwards, a shrillish sound that makes Yuuya throw his hands over his ears. “I’m kidding, Yuuya. I just thought that since she’s your first girlfriend you might be a bit _bold_ with her.”

“I … I wasn’t bold. I just tried to talk with her.” Yuuya’s throat feels like sandpaper. Around him, Yuugo and Yuuri are watching him with their bright, deadly eyes. No one else is in the class but Yuuto, who ignores their conversation in favour of finishing his book. The more he’s bombarded with questions, the more Yuuya looks over his shoulder. Reira is long gone from the school grounds now, probably on her way home. Yuuya won’t be able to walk home with him today.

“She’s your first girlfriend, Yuuya! You’ve gotta make a good first impression for her!”

Upon hearing those words Yuuya chokes on his own spit, cheeks flushed. He doesn’t have the courage to tell Yuuri no though, especially not when he’s worried Yuugo might tell that to Reira for him. Then he’ll have no chance, especially not since Yuugo has already talked to Reira. Who knows what else he’ll say too …

From his spot atop the desks, Yuuri picks under his nails with the end of his mechanical pencil. He doesn’t look up from his task as he says, “Well you’re sending all the wrong messages then, Yuuya.”

“I’m not trying to send any messages,” Yuuya tries to say, but Yuugo just giggles at him.

“For once I agree with him: you really like Akaba, and I wanna help you. I have lots of experience with girls too! One time, there was this girl named R–”

“Knock it off.” It’s spoken in such a low, commanding tone that Yuugo clamps his mouth shut at once, and Yuuri doesn’t have the courage to talk back. Leaning against the window is Yuuto, one finger marking his place in his book. He looks over the pages, eyes narrowed, and hisses, “Drop it, Yuugo, and you too, Yuuri. You shouldn’t joke about such things because then you might ruin this for Yuuya.”

“I’m trying to help though,” Yuugo mutters.

Even Yuuri adds, “Yuuya’s going to make mistakes anyways.”

Yuuto ignores them though. This time he closes the book around one of his fingers and directs his attention to Yuuya. Despite looking quite casual, there is an air of authority around him that makes Yuuya squirm. There is a reason that Yuuto is the leader. And still, it isn’t anxiety that keeps Yuuya rooted in place and bounces his heart in his chest; in fact, Yuuya feels quite safe as Yuuto takes a step closer to him.

“We’ll be in this class for the rest of the year, so take this seriously. If you mess up, it might be hard to unchange that, right?”

Yuuya smiles. “Thanks, Yuuto.”

The conversation meanders off after that: Yuugo returning to pestering Yuuri, Yuuto reading his book, and Yuuya sitting on his desk and lost in his thoughts. Whenever he thinks he is onto something and he figures out a way to save Reira and Yoko, it slips by him. Yuuya knows he needs a deadline – what day will Reira die? That will help him known when to befriend her and when to keep her safe. He needs to find a distraction to keep her away from wherever she was killed.

However, that won’t be easy. Reira didn’t want to talk to him yesterday, and Yuuya doubts he’ll be able to find that information anywhere else. He’ll need to get closer to her, which means he’ll need to befriend her, which means …

Yuuya bites his lip, stumped. Reira doesn’t trust him and Yuuya doesn’t know how to move forward. How have people trusted him in the past? His friends _like_ him, but do they trust him? Yuuri has never talked about being trans with him, and Yuugo has never told him about being bullied in his first year of school; Yuuya found out that information years later. Even Yuuto hasn’t told him much. And if his friends have, Yuuya doesn’t remember any of it. Anything his friends ever told him was forgotten years ago.

“Oi, Yuuya.” Yuuya looks up at Yuuri, kicking his legs back and forth on the desk. He holds up one hand. “Where are your gloves?”

“My … oh.” Looking back down at his hands, Yuuya realises that they are missing, or rather that he’s never worn any since being here. When his mother had dressed him, she asked once about the gloves and Yuuya brushed her off. Now though, Yuuya wonders just how important this is. He wouldn’t know where they are because he lost them eighteen years ago before he reran through time.

“I must’ve left them somewhere,” Yuuya says, flexing his fingers. It’s been cold walking home without them.

“Maybe you left them at the secret base!” Yuugo says.

 _The secret base._ Yuuya remembers the old building where he played Duel Monsters and board games, and where he ate snacks with his friends. It was their special place to be, a place with no bad memories or mean people. Yuuya wonders just how important the secret base was to everyone. To him, it was a placid retreat from any worries. He could talk and laugh and reminisce in that abandoned shop, and no adults would ever find him.

“Can we stop by the secret base then? I’ll check to see if my gloves are in there. ”

Yuuri raises an eyebrow at that. “Are you serious, Yuuya? You made that rule yourself: no going to the base after a heavy snowfall because then someone will be able to see your footprints. We don’t want anyone to find out where it is.”

 _Oh. Was I supposed to remember that?_ It makes sense, and so Yuuya scratches his head. “Oops, forgot about that! I can go without mittens then.” Around him, Yuugo and Yuuri don’t seem bothered by his mistake, but Yuuto keeps looking at him as they pack up their belongings and head out of the classroom. The sunlight follows them through the hallways and disappears once they are in the elevator, four bodies squished into the metal box.

Once the doors open, Yuugo barges through them all and dashes through the hallways. He has to be the first to the lockers, yanking out his shoes and backpack. Yuuya slips off his own indoor shoes and exchanges them for his wet running shoes. He should invest in boots if he’s walking to school every morning, but he hasn’t seen any of those in his house either.

“Forgot how to tie your shoes too?” Yuuri teases next to him.

Yuuya ties the laces of his shoes in loose bows and stands up. Yuugo and Yuuto are waiting for them, though they all break away moments later. Yuugo and Yuuri live near each other and always walk home; how both of them make it there alive is a mystery to Yuuya, who watches both of his friends bicker and tease all the way to the frosty stop sign. Behind him, Yuuto waits for a moment before turning on his heel. He lives a ways away from anyone, in a studio apartment with his father.

“Hey, Yuuto,” Yuuya calls out, halting him.

Yuuto turns around, hands shoved in the pockets of his peacoat. “Hm?”

“Uh, thanks.” Yuuya’s face grows hotter with each second. “Yeah, thanks Yuuto for stopping them back then. I wanna befriend Akaba, but I don’t think I can if Yuugo and Yuuri are teasing me.”

When Yuuto smiles, it’s genuine. It lasts for but a moment, though the afterglow remains when his lips purse together. “Actually Yuuya, you befriending Akaba is really important to me. I think it’s really good that you want to become friends with Akaba. I don’t want to meddle like Yuugo and Yuuri, but I – no, I think even Yuugo and Yuuri wanted to as well …” He pauses, collecting his thoughts. “We all want to help you. Do you want to talk to me about anything?”

The words from his mouth can’t have come from such a young boy, and yet they are a heavy melody in Yuuya’s ears. They send goosebumps up his arms.

Yuuya smiles through it though. Yuuto cares; Yuuto is his friend.

“No, but thanks. I appreciate all you’ve already done for me … even Yuugo asking Akaba to wait for me that day. You’re already helping me.”

In the middle of the sidewalk, the conversation seems to take up the weight of the world. Across from him, Yuuto hikes his backpack up on his shoulder. “You’re welcome.” A pause, and then a corner of his mouth turns up. “So how was it?”

“How was …?”

“Meeting Akaba. Did you talk to him?”

 _Can you kill someone for me?_ He told him that on that cold, blustery day with the wind nipping at Yuuya’s face. He remembers how serious and vacant Reira looked, like a stone statue immune to the pain of the world. Yuuya has tried to forget those chilling words, but they ring in his ears. What did Reira mean? Will someone always die? Did Reira want to kill someone and got himself killed in the process? Is that why he was kidnapped?

“I think … Yeah, I did.” Yuuya’s face relaxes, and he mimics Yuuto’s relaxed pose. _I’m saving Reira._ “I got to say a little bit of what I wanted to say.”

It doesn’t satisfy Yuuto though, if his crossed arms and pursed lips are anything to go by. Yuuya wonders if, in this moment, he was meant to tell Yuuto the truth. In the other timeline when he was nine years old, Yuuya doesn’t remember talking to Reira; thus, this conversation never occurred. Did he make the right choice then? As the entertainer, was he meant to trust his friends?

“I see … By the way, Yuuya, have you read our class anthology?”

 _Our … what?_ Yuuya knows what those words mean, but in no timeline does he ever remember making a class anthology. Furthermore, Yuuya is confused as to why Yuuto is bringing this up of all times. Yuuto is the smartest of his friends though, so he must be telling Yuuya this for a particular reason –

“No, I haven’t,” Yuuya says. “Should I?”

Yuuto nods. “You should. I think you’d like it.” A pause. “It was … more interesting than I expected.”

 _That’s a clue!_ Yuuya latches onto the words as Yuuto gives him a wave goodbye. This is the part in the play where the best friend, the deuteragonist, gives the protagonist a clue that will change the pace of the narrative. Yuuya _knows_ that Yuuto didn’t just tell him this because it was ‘on the top of his head’; it isn’t like Yuuto to just say things for the sake of it. _I remember that about Yuuto: he never just said something lightly. There was always a reason and a motive, like he was building cases and creating theories._

Yuuya spins on his heel and dashes back home through the snowstorm, eyes squinting through the thicket. The path seems a bit clearer though, breaking away to the warm light of his house. Like yesterday, Yoko isn’t back from work; this time though, Yuuya knows where the spare key is, and he lets himself into his house. There are rice balls on the counter for him, but Yuuya ignores those. He kicks off his shoes and leaves his backpack by the door.

“Anthology …” Yuuya whispers to himself. In his mind, he can vaguely remember a book by that name. If it was his book though, it would be with his other textbooks in his bookcase. Yuuya crouches down before the wooden shelves and runs his fingers over the titles. Yoko has kept all of his elementary school journals and textbooks.

It’s not there though. Yuuya doesn’t give up. Maybe it’s a newer book; maybe he put it somewhere to keep it safe. Yuuya checks his mother’s books, and then the hastily stacked papers on the desk. Not there either. Yuuya rips open the drawer then, eyes falling on a cheaply-bound paper book titled _The Fun Has Just Begun!: Heartland Academy Class 5-D Anthology._

The anthology. Yuuya snatches it up and flips through it, skimming through the pages. It’s a series of short stories from his class accompanied with sketches – a collection of memories and dreams of Heartland’s graduating students. _If Yuuto told me to look through this though, he was thinking about a particular story. He must’ve wanted me to look for either my or Akaba’s stories._

Reira’s comes first in the anthology; in fact, it’s on the first page.

“The Dimension Where Only I Am Missing by Akaba Reira,” Yuuya reads. His fingers slide down the text. The title pages shows a character with long, wispy hair and small, downturned eyes. The figure stands alone on an island with just one tree overlooking a great, black void. There are no other people, no animals, no extra designs besides the person and the tree.

 _When I grow up,_ the story reads. Yuuya swallows and tries again.

_When I grow up, so I can go wherever I want to go, I want to go to a faraway place. I want to go to a faraway dimension. I want to go to an empty dimension. I want to go to a dimension where there is no pain and suffering. No adults will live in this dimension. No kids. No classmates. No teachers. And no Mother._

_In that dimension, I’ll play whenever I feel like it. I’ll laugh whenever I feel like it. I’ll sleep whenever I feel like it. When I’m in my own dimension, I’ll think of that other dimension without me. The kids will go to school as always. The parents will go to work as always. Mother will live as always._

_When I think of the dimension where only I am missing, I feel relieved. I feel happy._

Yuuya swallows. Reira’s story is an S.O.S.; it can be nothing else. Through his writing, he’s crying out for someone to help him, much like how Yuuya as an entertainer begs his audience to feel with him. Reira as an actor is hurting, and from reading that Yuuya hurts as well. Yuuya reads the story again and again – a dimension where Reira doesn’t exist.

_Did Reira not want to live here? Did that kidnapper do him a favour?_

No. Reira was looking for a way out, but that wasn’t it.

And Yuuto? Yuuto knew this was an S.O.S. signal too, and that was why he wanted Yuuya to read this. Yuuto wasn’t concerned with Yuuya’s childhood crush. He wanted to save Reira just as much as Yuuya, and he found the first clue. However, this clue doesn’t appear to have anything to do with who kidnapped and killed Reira, or so Yuuya thinks. This is only the beginning of finding out about Reira.

_I need to dig deeper._

The door swings open and Yoko steps inside, calling out to him “I’m back! Yuuya, are you there? You didn’t eat again, did you?”

Yuuya crawls around the corner, this time smiling up at her. There are no tears in his eyes today. “Hello, Mama! No, I wanted to read this story first.”

Yoko looks down at the anthology and smiles. “You care so much about your friends, Yuuya. I’ll make dinner for us right away then – you must be starving!”

This time, Yuuya knows the role he should play at home. He sits in his room and reads Reira’s story over and over again while his mother chops vegetables and makes a thick roux for curry; on the counter, the rice cooker steams. When dinner is nearly done, Yuuya sets the table for two people, eyeing up the third, empty seat.

He and Yoko sit across from each other at the table. She looks happy, cheeks red from standing before the hot stove.

“Mama,” Yuuya says after a bite of curry, “I want to hang out with my friends more.”

Yoko grins. “What do you have in mind?”

Yuuya nods. “I want to have a birthday party this year.” His birthday is at the beginning of March, when the snow is still present in Heartland and when the days are a bit chilly. Yuuya can’t remember the last time he celebrated his birthday; however, he knows that parties bring friends closer together. If he can invite Reira to a party, maybe he can get to know her better.

“Hm?” Yoko licks the tip of her spoon off. “That sounds fine, but this house isn’t very big. You can’t invite every classmate, so how about four friends?” A pause where she takes another bite. “You’ve never had a birthday party before. Want me to buy a big cake?”

Yuuya nods. “Yes please, Mama! I want to have the best birthday ever with my friends!”

It’s true even if Yuuya can’t tell Yoko everything. To change Reira’s fate, Yuuya knows that he has to change his own life. Right now he’s living in a timeline where he’s doing different things from back then; however, he needs to do something _drastic_ in order to stop Reira from being kidnapped. He’ll keep Reira safe by inviting her to the birthday party and befriending her, and he’ll make sure that she’s never alone.

She was alone when she was kidnapped. Yuuya knows this, and has now seen it firsthand. Reira went missing back then because no one was around to notice his disappearance, and later his death. Yuuya knows exactly how to prevent that though. Yuuya will entertain Reira and go to that dimension with her. He’ll see her in every dimension that she visits.

Yuuya cleans up the dishes and starts on his homework; around the room Yoko sets up the beds and begins reading. When it’s time to go to bed though, Yoko keeps sitting upright, a pensive look on her youthful face. She counts off on her fingers; Yuuya curls into the blankets and closes his eyes. He has a big day ahead of him.

“One, two, three.” A pause. “Yuuya, did you get a partner?”

 _Gulp._ Of course Yoko would know that he only has three friends, even if he’s never brought any of them home. She would know then that he’s made a new friend, and that … Wait, how would she even know? His mother is a psychic, Yuuya knows it. Thankfully, she doesn’t question him further, mumbling that he must be sleeping and that she’ll ask him later. Only when Yuuya hears her settle down into the blankets and start snoring does Yuuya breathe out a heavy sigh.

* * *

“It’s snowing again! We can’t go to our secret base today either!” Yuugo slumps forward in his desk, lanky arms dangling off the side. “Then we could go and find your gloves, Yuuya, and we’d be able to play board games all evening.”

“The secret base though is quite a ways away. Wouldn’t want to go home in the dark, now would we? What if someone caught us?” Yuuto is the realist in the situation. In fact, Yuuya hadn’t even thought about the dark. Considering that three children will be kidnapped in this timeline if Yuuya doesn’t stop it, he supposes that it’s for the best that they don’t head over there.

Yuugo, however, doesn’t believe so. “Well no one knows where our secret base is, so we wouldn’t have to worry about someone sneaking around.”

The secret base is a hide-out too, one place in the city where no one else goes to. The only problem though are the footprints that would lead up to it. _If this was any other season,_ thinks Yuuya, _I could invite Akaba to the secret base. Yuuto would agree with me. I could play games with Akaba all afternoon, and in the evening I’d make him hot chocolate._ Yuuya’s cheeks blush at the thought of spending time with Reira.

At the window, Yuuri points to a lone figure heading out of the schoolyard. “Oi, Yuuya. Isn’t that Akaba? Don’t you want to walk her home?”

“Yuuri,” Yuuto growls.

Yuuya waves his hand to diffuse the tension brewing in the room. “It’s fine, it’s fine, Yuuto. I think … I want to walk home with Akaba today. Thanks, Yuuri!” Now seems like the time to take his leave, so Yuuya swings his backpack over his shoulder and hurries out the door. He hears someone say “Wow, he’s brave!”, and for some reason it rings in his ears as he dashes alongside the window-walls – eyes never leaving Reira’s lone figure – and then into the suffocating elevator.

_Have hope. Isn’t that what someone once said?_

The moment the doors slide open, Yuuya breaks through and hurries into the locker room. He tugs on his running shoes, foregoing tying the laces, and then heads out into the snowy weather without even his jacket zipped up. Because Reira walks down the same path as him, Yuuya knows where to begin looking. Travelling along the same streets reminds Yuuya of how many times he’s walked down this path before, both in this timeline and in the previous one, and how he’s never thought to remember that Reira walked here too. When Reira was gone then … did he simply forget about her? Did she stop walking through the same footprints Yuuya makes on the snowy ground?

About halfway to his house there is a park backing out onto a set of townhouses, the kind that are all cramped together without enough space for even a person to slip through. The houses are hazy in the distance though; Yuuya’s squinting eyes look through the blustery snow to the dusty path leading through the park. Reira stands before a lone, barren tree, head bowed to keep the snow from falling in her face. She doesn’t move even when Yuuya stands at the entrance to the park, mouth hung open.

 _I’ve seen her here before. The last time I saw her was at this park eighteen years ago._ Yuuya swallows. Reira must not go home because her mother abuses her; that is why she’s hiding out here, and why she wants to run away from her mother. Yuuya doesn’t think Reira stays out here until dark, but if she’s at this park all by herself everyday, it would be easy for someone to kidnap her.

“Akaba.”

Reira looks up, only his eyes visible over the thick, red scarf wrapped twice round his neck. Through the folds, his lips move. “Sakaki.”

Yuuya begins to close the distance between them, taking small, measured steps in the deep snow. Reira doesn’t move, but her eyes narrow the closer he gets. Yuuya has never visited this park before; he passes by it every day on his way to school, but something about this area worried him. Perhaps it’s because Yuuya likes people: he has never seen anyone here but Reira. Maybe then … that’s why Reira likes it so much.

When he’s close enough to reach out and touch her, Yuuya stops. Smiles. Takes a deep breath that creates mist in the air.

“Why are you here?” Reira asks.

“I said I wanted to be your friend,” Yuuya tells her. “But, Akaba, I can’t be a murderer. I can’t kill anyone for you. I’m sorry.”

Reira pauses, mouth hung open. Then he snaps it shut. “That was a joke, you know?” There should be a laugh accompanying his words, but Reira just looks away. By the way his arms close around his sides, it look like he’s trying to fold into himself, tuck himself into a corner of the world – only there are no corners here, just white vastness that swallows them both up. There isn’t even a light here.

“Sakaki, you’re … pretending all the time, aren’t you?”

Yuuya raises an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“I’ve heard you say it before, heard you say that you like to ‘entertain’ and ‘make people smile.’ But you’re faking that sometimes, aren’t you? Faking a laugh, faking a smile. You pretend so much that it must be hard to judge how you’re even feeling. Do you believe your own lies?”

“I …” Yuuya swallows. Reira knows he can fake it. Did she realise it last year when he tried to make friends? He’s never pinned her as the observant type – that was always Yuuto – but perhaps he’s never given anything about Reira more than a passing glance. If Reira knows then, does he think he’s being fake?

“That’s not a bad thing though.” Reira is still speaking, voice low and swept up by the winter wind. “It’s OK to pretend because you want to help others. You want to make them laugh and smile, even if you have to fake it yourself.” A breath that might have been the attempt of a laugh. “This might be hypocritical, but … I can’t see your true face, Yuuya. I can’t see your real smile.”

He’s serious. He’s right. Yuuya raises a hand to the edge of his mouth. It’s tight, not moving an inch. Fingers push up the corners and still it’s not a smile. It doesn’t reach his eyes; in the future, he had almost forgotten _how_ to smile. And Reira can tell. Across the vast whiteness Reira knows that he is faking – has been faking for years – and it’s only gotten him so far. He’s got to work harder to become Reira’s friend.

“I think you’re right,” Yuuya says. He lifts his head, indignant that he will meet Reira’s eyes. “I’m acting. But –” Yuuya clenches his fists. “But sometimes I think I have to. I want people to like me. I want to help people. I want to see them smile. I want to have friends and family who love me to the edge of the universe and back. I asked myself then, ‘What can such an awkward kid like me do?’ I asked myself every day last year what I could do. And then the more I thought about it, the more the answer came to me.

“If I want those wishes to come true, I’ll start liking everyone instead. I’ll be the one to take the first step with courage and make friends. The more steps I take, the easier it becomes. You’re right: I might seem fake. But someday, the more I work towards being a friend and a son, the realer I become. One day, I’ll be real.” Yuuya holds out his head. “Akaba, that’s why I want to be your friend too.”

Throughout the monologue, Reira’s eyes have lifted up. Now he looks directly back, blue eyes shimmering in what remains of the sunlight. The shadows have slipped back, if for just a moment, to let Reira smile properly. It isn’t wide or magnificent, but he smiles with his teeth and eyes, both crinkled at the corners. “Maybe if I keep on acting, I’ll become real too.”

 _When I say words, it feels like they become real after they leave my lips._ That was what Yuzu told him that time he was in the hospital after a rerun put him in danger. Yuzu words feel so familiar, yet her face is a distant blur. In this timeline, Yuzu is probably living with her father in Maiami City, unless she lived elsewhere as a child.

Reira is believing. However, as her eyes dip back down, Yuuya understands the difference. Unlike him and Yuzu, Reira is closing in on himself. He’s become a shell of a person, apathetic to the abuse he’s suffered. Soon, Reira will be shut up completely, and then dead. Yuuya needs to find a way to bring back Reira’s smile, to make him happy again. Like Yuuya, Reira needs to stop pretending and start believing. No one can be that strong enough to suffer such abuse for so long. Eventually, Reira will crack.

Reaching inside his jacket pocket, Yuuya extracts a handmade card. Last night he made four birthday invitations for his four friends. They’re little more than some printed cardstock on which he’s written ‘Birthday Party Invitation’ and covered the entire thing with glitter glue. At least it sparkles in the sunlight.

“My birthday is soon,” Yuuya explains, pushing the card into her hands, “and I’m inviting my friends to come to it. It’ll be lots of fun, and I hope to see you there.”

Reira keeps it in her hands, arms outstretched. “Will there be other people?”

“I want to invite Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri too, but I don’t know who all will be there.” Yuuya shakes a bit of snow that has clumped atop his head. “You see, Akaba, I wanted to invite you first.”

In the quiet park, Yuuya hears the first sounds of life. Reira brings the invitation close and holds it to her chest, eyes sparkling. She stays still for a moment, at lost for words. However, those words whistle by in the breeze. Yuuya hears her thanks and sees the beginnings of a smile in what little life she has left.

 _I won’t let Akaba be alone in this park._ Yuuya promises himself this with such conviction that he steps over the boundary between them and carefully takes his hands. Reira’s cheeks spark pink, but she doesn’t pull away. The warmth between them binds them like glue; Yuuya doesn’t ever want to let go, for if he does will Reira disappear from him? He’s creating the future with Reira. Time is different now.

 _I want to change this future._ More than anything, Yuuya wants to change Reira’s future. He wants to rewrite time to when Reira is safe and Yoko is alive, and he’s happy with his friends and family. Yuuya doesn’t want to hear on the news that children were kidnapped, and that even Yuuri went missing. Yuuya doesn’t want to head through life faking a smile. Right now, he’s smiling, and it’s genuine.

Across from him, Reira tightens her grip on his frozen fingers. She’s not wearing gloves either, hands frozen in his.

_I want to change your future, Akaba._


	9. Chapter 9

Yuuya swallows. The dimension where only Reira is missing. It will come true if he does nothing to prevent it. If he doesn’t become Reira’s friend, and if he doesn’t keep her company, Akaba Reira will die. She’ll be alone one day and someone will kidnap her and kill her. And before that, she’ll live in a house with an abusive parent.

His hands clench into fists. Yuuya will stop Reira’s death. Even more, Yuuya will stop Reira from acting. He’ll set her free and find her smile, and he and Reira will be friends forever.

“It’s on March 2,” Yuuya says, tapping the card. “I really hope you can come, Akaba! I haven’t had a birthday party in so long, and so I want to invite all of my friends to celebrate with me.”

Reira nods, tucking the invitation in her bag. “Yeah, I’ll come,” she says after a moment. It might just have been the cold, but at that moment Reira’s cheeks grew redder and she kept her eyes downcast. “I … haven’t gone to a party in a long time either.”

“All the more reason to come to mine then!” Yuuya says. “My mom says she’ll buy a big cake, but in the meantime I have to decide what I want to do. It’ll be a surprise though, so I can’t tell you –”

Reira’s hands reach out and tap one of his fingers. “Where are your gloves, Sakaki?”

Startled, Yuuya halts talking. He raises the hand Reira touched and flexes his fingers; snow catches on them, making them damp and pale. “I don’t know. I can’t find them anywhere. But don’t worry Akaba, they aren’t cold at all.” To prove it, Yuuya wriggles his fingers back and forth. The joints are a bit creaky from being outside for so long, but it’s not painful.

Reira lifts up her hand and touches it to his. Her fingers spread up against his; her hands are the same size as his, only with cracked skin and bitten nails. They’re warm against his though, palms radiating a comforting warmth that shoots a blush as red as his hair onto his entire face. Reira is touching his hand! He’s holding hands with Reira, fingers itching to close around Reira’s digits and never let go.

What … what are they doing? Yuuya’s mouth drops open at the contact. Across from him, Reira does little more than fix him with a cold, emotionless stare. He looks like he’s looking _through_ Yuuya, like Reira has just made contact with a spirit instead of a human.

The next time Yuuya blinks, Reira has stepped back and begun walking out of the park towards home. “You can put your hand down, Sakaki.”

Yuuya snatches his hand out of thin air and shoves it to his side, cheeks glowing. His throat convulses against his will; what can he say to Reira before he leaves? “Uh, right. My hands are a bit bigger though, right?”

Reira doesn’t turn around. “Are you dumb? Our hands are the same size.” His words do stop her though, and Reira stands like a statue in the winter wonderland. She’s emotionless, body dangling from the strings desperately trying to hold her upright. Then her head spins around, peering over her shoulder. Yuuya can only see one eye looking back at him, filled with such depth that Yuuya gets lost looking at her.

The wind carries his words to Yuuya: “You’ve been easier to talk to.”

 _This is my moment._ “Well that’s because I want to be your friend,” Yuuya says. “And more importantly, I don’t want to lie to you, Akaba. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t lie to you, so that maybe you can befriend the real me.”

Her eyes flutter in the wind. Lips parted, head tilted back towards him, the door to Reira’s heart has been opened just a bit. And then she spins away from him, red scarf caught in the snowy whirling, and she dashes away across the park and back towards her home. No goodbye, but her actions speak louder than her words that still catch in her throat. _Thank you._

Yuuya watches Reira go for a second before he throws up the same hand that held hers. “See you tomorrow, Akaba!” Yuuya hopes his words reach her through the void that he’s just begun to cross. He wants Reira to know that he’ll see her tomorrow. Those words must mean something important in her heart. She _must_ know that people look forward to seeing her in the future.

Once she’s out of the park, Yuuya glances around the silent field. This park only has an empty field bordered by barren trees and a path crossing through the land. No climbing structures, no people. It’s this park that, eighteen years ago, Akaba Reira went missing in. Yuuya remembers the rest of the tragic story: one day, Reira stopped going to school, and it wasn’t until the snow melted that her corpse was found. However, that doesn’t help Yuuya narrow down the specific date Reira went missing.

_Akaba Reira, age 10. Right, he died when he was ten years old. That means that, since she was the first disappearance, it happened in March. Her birthday must be in March then … right? Or late February …? I need to find out her birthday tomorrow!_

Shoving his frozen hands into his jacket pocket, Yuuya heads out of the deserted park. One day he’ll need to cross this expanse to reach Reira, but not today.

One day, Yuuya hopes he’ll cross through this park _with_ Reira. Never again will Reira be left alone in this park. Yuuya will keep her company through each and every one of her waking nightmares, and that way she will never go missing. He won’t forget about her. He’ll make sure no one disappears this year.

* * *

“We’re having a race today!” Yuugo says. “I’m good at riding my bike, so that means I’m good at skating too! Be prepared to have me wipe the floor with y’all.” He’s standing out in the snowy field, hat flaps smacking against his rosy cheeks. Both hands are on the boarded walls of the skating rink that they’ll use today for gym class. According to Yuugo, he’s been talking about this day for _weeks,_ but Yuuya doesn’t remember this conversation.

Leaning against the wooden boards with his arms crossed tight over his chest, Yuuri says, “Those two things have nothing in common, Yuugo. Can you even skate?”

“I know I can!”

“That means you haven’t skated a day in your life. You’re going to fall flat on your face in front of the entire class.” While Yuugo rants to Yuuri, his classmate instead turns his attention to Yuuya. Yuuri’s entire face is covered with a big toque with a pink pom-pom on the top. “You know how to skate, don’t you, Yuuya?”

He … does? He does. Yuuya remembers this day in the past, remembers his fingers being so frozen that Yuuri and Yuuto had to help him lace up his skates; remembers being so nervous of racing against a boy named Shark, who stands a few paces away with his hands in his pockets and a distant look on his face.

“That’s the fastest skater in our school,” Yuuri tells him; in the time that Yuuya’s been daydreaming, Yuuri’s face has moved to be inches away from Yuuya’s ear. “I think the only one who has the slightest chance of beating him is Yuuto … maybe.”

_And I’m …?_

“Oh look, you’re racing against him, Yuuya.”

 _Shit._ Yuuya swallows a tight pit in his throat and peeks over the wooden borders surrounding the ice rink. By this point, there are visible grooves in the ice from dozens of skates already racing on it. It’ll be a bumpy track. What makes is worse is that Yuuya, who hasn’t skated in years, is against a national-level hockey player. Shark even has the _body_ of a skater, strong legs that could glide him over the ice. The most practice Yuuya has had skating is the time in high school that he bought heelie shoes and skated to school, but that was years ago and on pavement, and he wasn’t racing.

Across the rink, a fan club for Shark has already formed. Several students cheer his name as he skates by; he doesn’t spare a second look to any of them, but the children still scream and cry for him. Yuuya hears them even say, “Sakaki won’t stand a chance!” and it makes his blood boil. Sure, he’s not a strong skater or part of the hockey team, but … But he’s strong. He’s not really nine years old; he’s twenty-eight and reliving his elementary school years. That will give him an advantage over Shark, who’s still in elementary school.

“Akaba, come cheer him on!”

Yuuya blinks, head spinning to see who has said Reira’s name.

“Come cheer with us!”

Just pass the fan club screaming Shark’s name and between two students in oversized parkas is Reira, his red scarf visible anywhere. He stands a few feet away from everyone else, but now that a classmate has caught his attention, his eyes have caught Yuuya’s. Then she steps closer, coming up to the wooden barrier. It’s neither tall nor wide, coming up to Reira’s chest. Yuuya skates up to it as well, standing directly in front of her with his hands inches from hers.

“Are you going to watch me skate?” Yuuya asks.

Reira chews at her lip for a moment. “Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? We’re skating for gym class today.”

“Yeah, I guess.” The conversation sinks like a ship with too many holes in it. Sighing, Yuuya begins to fall back from the border separating him and Reira, preparing himself to skate. His hands only begin to slip from the wooden divide before he hears Reira speaking again.

“Do you think you can win?” he asks.

 _I can’t lie to her._ Grabbing hold of the barrier, Yuuya stops himself from skating away. “I’ll do the best that I can, Akaba. That’s all I can promise, right?”

She doesn’t smile, but Yuuya feels her happiness in his own beating heart. “Right.”

Yuuya lets himself slide backwards, and once Reira has assumed her position on the side of the ice rink, Yuuya skates towards Shark. He’s not much taller than Yuuya, but he’s a bit bigger, a bit more menacing. Standing next to Shark feels like a flower growing next to a tree: the difference is insurmountable. And still Yuuya knows that he has a chance. Reira is watching him skate, and he wants to prove to her that he’ll always do his best.

Along the border his classmates gather; there is a chorus of ‘Sakaki’ too, a name he never thought he’d hear anyone chant. Grinning, Yuuya throws up one hand. “Ladies and Gentlemen!”

“This isn’t a performance,” Shark mutters next to him.

“I’m always performing.”

Mr Heartland, standing at the edge of the rink in his skates, raises his hand to start the race. Yuuya and Shark take their positions, bodies rigid before the starting line. A lull falls over the students as the teacher calls the skaters to take their marks, get set –

“Go!”

Yuuya sprints forward, legs pumping. Skating on ice isn’t so different from skating in his heelie shoes, and Yuuya remembers those times well. He pushes forward with strong strides, skates gliding across the cracked ice. Next to him, Shark is equally fast, shoulder to shoulder with him. He’s got more strength than Yuuya, but Yuuya has years more experience than him. He takes sharp corners, sprinting across the track.

 _Is it OK for me to win?_ Yuuya stumbles over these thoughts, eyes searching the track for Shark. Shark practices every day for the hockey team. He’s the star player of the school and, if he keeps up with this passion, he might even make it on the Heartland youth team that travels around the dimensions. In comparison, who is Yuuya? A simple student and entertainer who likes to draw manga?

By winning, Yuuya wonders if he’ll ruin Shark’s dreams? Would this change fate? Yuuya doesn’t want to change anyone’s fate but Yoko’s and Reira’s, so is it right to win? He can’t remember who won this race years ago since it wasn’t all that important at the time. Would that mean … he lost?

His skate catches on the uneven ice; Yuuya doesn’t trip, but he lets himself slow down enough so that Shark can pull ahead, face red with exertion, and fall over the finish line. Yuuya is not a second behind him, but the victory is clear. Shark won the race, and Yuuya lost.

 _This is what’s meant to happen,_ Yuuya thinks.

The cheers of his classmates echo out Shark’s name as students flood through the rink entrance to congratulate him. At a smaller volume, Yuuya hears his own name. Yuugo and Yuuri have both climbed up the divider and are sitting atop it, legs dangling into the rink. They both clap excitedly for him, chanting his name.

“That was such a close race!”

“You almost beat the best hockey player in the _school,_ Yuuya!”

And standing next to them is Yuuto, eyes stern. He doesn’t look happy for some reason, and Yuuya doesn’t dare think of why. Yuuto must know that he let Shark win. Yuuto must think that’s wrong. And yet Yuuya isn’t upset by that. It isn’t his job to change anyone’s fate but his friends who will soon disappear, so –

A hand snatches at his jacket collar and Yuuya’s face is swiveled back to look at Shark. His eyes are a rich purple, violet eyebrows pinched tight. He looks pisssed, and Yuuya can’t understand why. Shark _won,_ didn’t he? Shouldn’t he be happy over his victory? Shouldn’t he be celebrating with all of his friends across the rink? But Shark only clenches his fist tighter and pulls Yuuya’s face in so they are nose-to-nose.

“I hate guys like you the most, Sakaki.”

His fingers retract; Yuuya falls to the ice, knees banging on the cold surface. Shark’s cool, aloof demeanor returns, and he shoves his hands in his pockets and walks away, back towards his friends outside of the rink. Yuuya though doesn't even have the energy to rise for a moment, hands planted on the cool surface. After Shark’s victory, how can he be upset? How could everyone have seen that Yuuya purposefully stumbled to let Shark win?

Yuugo has already come running to his aid, shooting dirty looks at Shark. “He won and still he needed to say that. What a dick.” Out of kindness, Yuugo yanks Yuuya up to his feet and brushes him free of the falling snow. “Want me to punch him, Yuuya?”

“Might teach him to take a victory _properly,”_ Yuuri adds.

Yuuya just shakes his head. Past his friends he can see Yuuto watching him with his teeth pressed into his lip, and Yuuya accepts his mistake. He shouldn’t have let anyone win. That wasn’t what Shark or anyone else wanted. If he were a true entertainer, he’d have known what would excite the audience; in this case, he shouldn’t have lied.

_“I hate guys like you the most, Sakaki.”_

_This happened eighteen years ago, didn’t it? I repeated a mistake._

Yuuya sighs, shuffling out of Yuugo’s grip. Even when he tries to change fate, he ends up repeating it again. Then that means that everyone who noticed in the past also noticed this time. Yuugo and Yuuri were both oblivious to it; they wanted him to win, but they must’ve also had their reservations about him racing against a top-level hockey player. Yuuto noticed right away: he’d be able spot if anything were wrong. Shark too: he must’ve caught Yuuya’s slip of the foot and knew it couldn’t have been by accident.

Reira.

She stands a ways from the other students now, back turned. Over her shoulder the long, red scarf blusters in the wind. Yuuya wants to reach out and grab the scarf, pull Reira back so she can’t distance herself from the world.

“Akaba!” Yuuya calls out. He chases her with thick, clumpy steps, eyes squinting in the snowy weather. “Akaba, thank you for –”

She stops but does not turn around. Closer now, Yuuya reaches out a hand to touch Reira’s scarf, feel the warm cotton under his frozen fingertips, and – pause. Reira hasn’t moved, hasn’t even bothered to look at him. The divide is even greater now, and Yuuya doesn’t understand why he can’t cross it.

“You saw me race Shark, didn’t you? He’s so fast; it must be because he’s a hockey player.” A pause, a worried chuckle. “Hey Akaba, can you tell me your birthday?”

Reira keeps walking.

His heart jumps up into his throat. What has he done to upset her? “Hey, Akaba, what’s wrong? Are you … angry?”

Without looking over her shoulder, Reira answers: “You said you wouldn’t lie to me.”

 _Oh._ He knew too. Reira knew that he was holding back and took it as a lie. In fact, everyone who saw through Yuuya’s forced mistake was unhappy. They all knew he let Shark win, even Shark himself. In the end, by Yuuya not thinking about himself, he ended up not thinking about anyone else. The results he thought everyone wanted were, in fact, not wanted by anyone.

“I just thought Shark deserved it …” A sniff; Yuuya rubs at his running nose, eyes caught on the flutter of Reira’s scarf. He still hasn’t turned back to look at Yuuya. The gap between them seems so far now. “I guess we’re both imposters and liars still.” There is nothing else Yuuya can say, and his words don’t seem to reach Reira. He walks away without a single hesitating step, and Yuuya doesn’t move until his classmates have cleared out of the field to get changed.

_I made a mistake. I’m further away from Reira now. And I still didn’t get his birthday._

Yuuya shivers in the breeze, looking up to the classrooms. His class is on one of the upper floors; however, midway in the building there are several offices and teacher’s lounges. Yuuya has seen them when he’s delivered messages to other classrooms or gone to a specific teacher for assistance. Because of this, Yuuya knows exactly where Mr Heartland’s office is. If he were to sneak into the office, Yuuya could find the register and learn Reira’s birthday. Class would still be going on for a few more minutes before they’re dismissed, and then Mr Heartland would stay in class for a bit longer before leaving.

He’ll find the class book.

Yuuya hurries up the steps into Heartland Academy; however, instead of travelling up through the elevator to the classrooms, he takes the stairs that spiral up to the lower floors. These areas of the school are for private classrooms, kindergarten classes, and teacher’s offices. There’s artwork along the walls from students over the years showcasing their talent: nothing of Yuuya’s has made it to the wall, but he spots Yuuto’s writing. Of course Yuuto would be on the wall.

At this hour, the hallways are quiet while students and teacher are still in the middle of lessons. On the third floor of the lower section of the school, Yuuya peeks around the corner to one of the rooms. Mr Heartland’s office is shared with several other fifth grade teachers, all the desks lined up in two rows and separated by small shelves holding dozens of books. It’s rather cramped quarters.

Thankfully, Mr Heartland’s desk is the most distinguished. He has bright folders and book covers over his textbooks, and there are several colourful tea cups on his desk. Mr Heartland has stuck at least a dozen sticky notes all over his desk surface and on the dividers separating his office space from his co-workers; they’re all reminders about upcoming assignments or tests.

_I need to find the roll book. Akaba’s birthday will be in there._

The first place Yuuya checks is in the small shelves on top of Mr Heartland’s desk. Since all of those books have cloth sleeves to protect the fragile covers, Yuuya has to open each book to see if it’s the right one. There must be a pattern to them for Mr Heartland to know which book is for what, but Yuuya wouldn’t know much about his teacher. He just focuses on putting the book back exactly where he found it.

When that search proves fruitless, Yuuya starts checking the desk drawers. There are only two: the first is a type of junk drawer where his teacher has shoved all sorts of pencils, erasers, and other office supplies that he hasn’t bothered to organise. The second drawer has several folders and thin books stacked atop each other; it’s here that Yuuya pulls out the roll book, grinning. In the morning, this book would be with Heartland for when he takes attendance; after lunch though, the roll book returns to the office.

“Yuuya?”

He screams, a short, stunted sound that catches in his throat. Mr Heartland has a gentle yet firm hand on Yuuya’s shoulder, fingers pressed right around his bone. His teacher doesn’t look upset … yet. He has a sort of unreadable face, eyes cloudy through a pair of outlandish spectacles. His mouth is like a frog’s, stretching from one side of his face to the other; his eyes pop out of his skull.

“What are you doing here, Yuuya?” His voice is calm, reasonable; it sets Yuuya’s teeth on edge. Shouldn’t his teacher be upset, confused even? Mr Heartland looks at peace with finding one of his students skipping class and sneaking into his office.

“Uh, hi there, Teacher!”

Heartland’s beady eyes rolls down to spot the roll book clenched in Yuuya’s sweaty, shaking hands. “Is this about Reira?”

Yuuya swallows hard. Heartland is a young, sharp guy – someone like Yuuto who you can’t lie to. However, Yuuya is older and more mature in this timeline, so he catches Mr Heartland’s bait and nods. “Yeah, it is. I want to know her birthday. I asked her but she wouldn’t tell me, and I think she was embarrassed. Sorry for sneaking into your office though.”

“I see.” He takes the book from Yuuya’s hands before Yuuya himself has even registered the loss of weight. Mr Heartland twirls it in his palms; had he more items, Yuuya expects him to begin juggling. Mr Heartland has always been a sort of performer or entertainer in Yuuya’s mind; how he got interested in teaching elementary school, Yuuya will never know. “Yuuya, you’ve been awfully kind to Reira recently. I’ve seen you talking with her after class, in fact.”

“Yes, sir.” A worried piece of Yuuya’s mind jumps at that mention. If Mr Heartland has been spying on them, then what else does he know about Yuuya? How close of an eye does his teacher have on his students?

“Reira is a quiet student, and she doesn’t have many friends. I’m actually happy to see you’re interested in her, Yuuya. In Reira’s case, every friend counts.” Heartland snaps the book open and closed, making it a chomping mouth. “I must ask though, Yuuya, why you snuck in here to get this? Couldn’t you just ask her again?”

 _I won’t lie._ “I told her mine, and I asked her … but she wouldn’t tell me. I’m sorry, Teacher.”

Instead of getting upset, Heartland’s face only splits into a wider grin, the corners of his mouth ripping. “Oh, I see. Well, I think I might know why. See for yourself.” Before Yuuya can ask his teacher just what he means by that vague phrase, Heartland opens up the roll book and pushes it towards Yuuya. On it there are rows upon rows for each of the student’s and their monthly attendance. Next the the student’s names are also their birthdates. Akaba Reira is right at the top, and next to it –

“March 2.” _Her birthday is on the same day as mine._

“Maybe she was embarrassed,” Heartland explains. “Reira is rather shy and quiet, so maybe she didn’t want to know that you would both turn eleven.”

Yuuya’s mind is racing though. If Reira turns eleven on the same day as him, and she died when she was ten years old and in March, that means that she died on March 1. Yuuya has a timeline now. He has to keep an eye on Reira for all of those days, and most importantly he needs to keep her safe on March 1. If he does, Reira can come to his birthday party. She’ll even be able to celebrate her own eleventh birthday.

“T-thanks, Mr. Heartland!” Yuuya’s lips feel heavy with anticipation; he can save Reira now! “Please excuse me – I’ve got to head home now.” He turns on his heel, eyes skimming over the wide smile Heartland is still giving him. However, his teacher isn’t quite done with him yet, and his words stop Yuuya from going more than a step.

“You came pretty close in your race today. Good job! I hope you do your best at everything, including becoming Reira’s friend!”

“Will do, sir!” Yuuya smiles back at him, features a bit more relaxed. His throat is tight and his heart rams in his chest, but Yuuya allows himself that moment of happiness.

“Come and get me if you need any help!”

 _I will,_ Yuuya thinks as he steps out of the offices and into the hallways. It’s past class hours now, and most students have returned home or are outside playing on the field. Reira has already gone home too then; Yuuya peeks out the windows and doesn’t see her hanging outside the school yard. For a moment, Yuuya wonders if he should head home too. Reira was mad at him this afternoon, and he doesn’t have the right words to apologise to her. He hurt Reira.

However, at the same time Yuuya wonders if maybe today _is_ the right day to apologise to Reira. He’s hurt her, and thus he should act courageous and hopeful, and take the chance to mend the bond between him and Reira. Past him might’ve walked away from this situation with his head hung, but in this rerun Yuuya won’t make the same mistakes as before. He’ll go to Reira’s house and apologise to her, explain how he doesn’t want to pretend or fake anything anymore. Hopefully Reira will listen to him; hopefully she’ll understand.

Yuuya hurries down the spiral staircase out of the school, legs slapping the floor beneath him. Outside the sky is growing darker and the temperature colder, and Yuuya shivers in just his jacket. He needs gloves and a hat in this weather. Nonetheless, he shoulders on through the winter weather, past the street heading towards his house and instead to the park. To his surprise, Reira isn’t standing by herself by the barren tree at the park. The field is empty, shadows climbing over the frozen snow.

 _She’s gone home then._ Yuuya remembers from the past going to Reira’s house. It’s across the field in one of the smaller districts. Here, all the houses are single-story, grey buildings blending into the monochromatic landscape. There is little to distinguish the houses from one another besides their numbers.

Reira lives in a house in the middle of the lot. The path leading up to the front steps is unplowed, and instead there are deep footprints that could only belong to Reira. The blinds are drawn in every single one of the windows. There are no lights or decorations around the house, no doormat with a sentimental saying. The house, like Reira herself, blends into the world.

Yuuya steps up to the door and knocks once, twice. He steps back, expecting it to swing open … and nothing happens. He tries again, this time rapping his knuckles so hard on the wood that they ache afterwards. Again, no one answers the door. Pressing his ear to the wood, Yuuya listens inside the house for the sound of shuffling feet or whispering voices. He can’t imagine Reira going anywhere else besides home, so she must be inside. Is she not allowed to answer the door then? Perhaps her mother isn’t home, and she’s not allowed to answer the door for strangers. That’s a rule in Yuuya’s household.

Still though, he needs to see Reira. He needs to apologise to him today and not let the wounds between them fester. Yuuya made a mistake; he needs to fix it.

Other than the big footprints leading up to the stairs, there is another set leading around the house, equally deep.  Perhaps Reira doesn’t enter the house through the front door, and instead she lets herself  in through the side door. It’s these footprints that Yuuya jumps into. He feels cold gather around his legs and in his jeans, and he shivers. It must be so chilly for Reira to walk through this every day.

The footprints lead him around the house to the side door and to the storage shed. The snow flattens the closer he gets to the back door, and Yuuya supposes that both Reira and his mother enter through this way. However, this path is also filthy: garbage is dropped and smeared on the snow to turn it brown. The garbage can itself it upturned and leaking dirty water. In fact, the garbage is everywhere: there are three of four bags thrown to the side of a leaning, creaking shed, and another bag sits at the steps up to the back door. Gagging, Yuuya puts a hand over his face. It smells terrible back here.

Looking through his fingers, Yuuya’s eyes catch on the door handle. He pulls himself up the steps which are tall and made of chilly cement, much too high up for a child to climb. The back door is locked too. At this height though, Yuuya can look down and around Reira’s backyard and see that the snow here has never been white: it’s all dirty and trampled on, diseased in places. A spot in front of the stairs is even charred and black, as if something was burnt on the ground.

No … someone couldn’t burn anything on the snow. It was burnt indoors or on the back steps and then kicked out onto the snow. Hopping down the steps, Yuuya leans over the side of the stairs and peers down at the blackened object. It’s separated in two pieces, fibers of cloth charred. It’s not much bigger than Yuuya’s hand either, and the material looks warm …

 

It’s a glove. Oh. A cold sweat washes over Yuuya at that moment. He’s never been to Reira’s house before, knows so little about her life, and yet this glove means something. Reira wouldn’t burn her own gloves, but her mother? Her mother who hits her daughter on the leg?

 _I need to get out of here,_ Yuuya thinks, falling back on the steps. His back crashes into a slab of cement and he grinds his teeth. _Reira must be inside! I can’t get to her though, so maybe she’s safe, so maybe –_

Her books are spilled out on the ground. When Yuuya entered the backyard, he wouldn’t have seen the books because they were behind the stairs. Now sitting on the steps, Yuuya can crane his neck over the edge and spot Reira’s book bag thrown into the dirty snow, contents scattered. Her textbooks and binders are everywhere; a few feet down, several papers have been blow towards his neighbour’s yard.

“Reira?” Yuuya climbs up the steps, stretching to see through any of the closed and blinded windows. He looks and listens for the slightest signs of life inside the dark house, but Reira never says anything. Frustrated, Yuuya hits the back door with his fists. “Reira, are you in there? Reira, where are you? It’s me, Sakaki!” There’s no answer.

Spinning back around, Yuuya scans the area. Would Reira not come out and greet him? Has he hurt him, scared him? His eyes fall on the shed, door ajar just enough to let a bit of the light creep into the rotten wood. It’s a miracle the building is still standing: the wood has snapped in places from rotting or from the heavy winter; the snow clumped on the roof makes it sag into the ground.

That building scares him. From the sliver of light creeping into the dark mouth, a sinking feeling grows in Yuuya’s stomach. He’s not sure why, but for a moment he prays to the gods that Reira will open up the back door and ask him why he’s banging on his door. Reira will be OK.

Yuuya steps down the stairs and walks up the shed. There’s a quiet scuffle inside, like something moving over the creaking pieces of wood. Closer now, Yuuya can see that there are boxes and jars stacked up in this shed; hastily so, like someone shoved all their treasured belongings away without a second care.

_No._

The door slams open, nearly off its hinges, and light shoots on Reira. She’s lying on her side, legs curled up to her stomach, and her lanky arms wrapped tight around her knees. Despite the subzero temperatures, she’s wearing nothing more than a tank top and her underwear, which gives sight to hundreds of purpling, gaudy bruises up and down her body. They’re everywhere, not just on her upper legs. Across her arms and chest there are even cuts, still fresh with the blood drying at the edges. One eye rises up to look at him; it’s black and blue all around.

“No.”

Yuuya can do nothing but scream. His classmate is hurt. His classmate is in danger, stripped to her underclothes before him. Reira has only the strength to raise his head and fix him with a stare, the same vacant stare that he sees every morning in class.

“Close the door.” Low, commanding.

Yuuya won’t listen. He steps forward, already shedding his jacket to keep her warm. He needs to ask Reira how to get into her house or else he’ll break a window. He needs to get him warm and fed; Reira doesn’t look like he’s eaten recently, if the bones tearing at his skin are anythingg to go by. “Reira, here –”

“Don’t touch me. Close the door.”

“You need help,” Yuuya says, falling to his knees. He’ll call Yoko if he has to. Reira needs help –

But the moment Yuuya falls to his knees, Reira lets out a scream that shakes him from the core. His bruised legs clabber up on the dozens of mouldy boxes in this shed, creating as much distance as he can from Yuuya. Both of Reira’s eyes are wide, hidden only by his long, purple hair that is twisted and ripped in places.

“Get back! Get back!”

Yuuya stumbles backwards out of shock, slipping down the side of the shed to fall into a woman standing above him. Over time, Yuuya blanked out any memories of Reira’s mother because she was such a disgraceful, stern, and unlikeable woman. However, now looking up at her Yuuya remembers every poignant detail: her small, blue eyes squinting down at him; her tall, magenta hair done up in two large curls like the top of a heart; and her long, narrow nose. _She has the face of a demon,_ Yuuya thinks. Staring down at him, Himika becomes the monster looking down at her prey.

“Reira, who is this?” she asks, voice pitched saccharinely to diffuse the dread in this situation. Yuuya feels sick to his stomach just being here. He needs to run away, but he keeps himself grounded for Reira’s sake. If her mother attacks her again, Yuuya will defend her. He won’t let Reira be hurt any more by this woman.

However, Reira sits up and answers her mouth, one hand covering the bruises down her arm. “A classmate.”

Himika smiles, no teeth, eyes gleaming. “Well, let’s come inside the house then.”

Reira doesn’t look at his eyes, standing up on shaking legs to step past Yuuya and take his mother’s hand. His body looks so frail and broken; it’s a surprise his bones aren’t snapped and jutting out in awkward angles, and that Reira can walk. It hurts though: Yuuya can see Reira flinch with each step and groan as he lifts his arm to take Himika’s hand.

_How dare she!_

From behind her Himika brings out a thick, woollen blanket that she drapes around her child’s quaking shoulders. She then taps Reira on the back once, twice – Reira gasps, tears pricking in her eyes – and the mother and child begin to climb the stairs to their house.

Still on the ground, Yuuya spins around. Like hell he’ll let this continue.

“Why is Akaba hurt?” Voice level, even, with poison dripping from Yuuya’s lips. His eyes burn scarlet in this moment, hands clenched in tight fists. Himika can’t walk away with Reira like she wasn’t the one who abused her daughter. Yuuya won’t let this continue. Reira doesn’t have just one bruise on her body: she’s covered in them, body and mind battered down by her abusive mother.

Only Himika laughs at him. She stops walking, a hand still pressed down on Reira’s shoulder, and says, “Answer him, Reira.”

Reira’s teeth worry at the edge of her lip for a moment, drawing blood that dribbles down her dirty chin. “… I tripped.”

_A lie._

With a monstrous smile, Himika gives Reira one push up the stairs. “Come now, Reira, let’s get cleaned up.” The two of them step into the house without a second glance to Yuuya standing among the carnage and snow, too cold and scared to move. When the door slams shut, Yuuya feels it deep within his soul.

He’s made another mistake. He couldn’t protect Reira this time either, and now Himika has gone and abused her daughter. The bruises, the tears, the pain Reira had on his face when Yuuya saw him in the shed. Those images have burned into Yuuya’s retinas. He’ll never unsee the pain in Reira’s eyes, so visible in those critical moments.

And then …

_She didn’t even look at me. I can’t believe his lies either._


	10. Chapter 10

(commission from [@dark-angel-of-muses](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com) \- posted with permission. Please see original [here](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com/post/164051717980/commission-for-lily-liegh-for-her-fic-please-go) and considering commissioning her [here](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com/post/163963959875/additional-characters-add-200-extra-i-will-not).)

* * *

  _His head is underwater._

_Reira screams as liquid fills his lungs, puffing out his cheeks to try and get any oxygen. When he thrashes his head from side to side, all that happens is the hand painfully gripping his neck pushes him deeper into the tub, blocking out his vision and keeping him from getting any breath of air. The more Reira thrashes, the further his face is pressed down._

_After what feels like hours, but is most likely no more than a minute, the hand on his neck releases him, and Reira can throw his head up and gasp and choke for oxygen. His vision is blurry, chilly water dripping down his long hair and sticking to his cold face. The bruises and scratches on his cheeks and neck sting from the water; coughing hard, Reira wipes at his face with a hand. Before he can reach up though, Himika snatches his wrist and pushes him down so that his face is hovering over the water in the tub._

Plip. plop. _The sounds of ice cubes dropping into the already-frigid water makes Reira’s heart sink. Himika shakes out an entire bag of ice into the water, and when the last cube hits the surface, her grip on his neck tightens and she shoves him under the water. Quickly, Reira holds his breath and nose before the water gets into his lungs again. He doesn’t stop thrashing through, bucking against her grip._

 _Yet Reira’s lungs haven’t recovered from the first drowning, and so it’s not more than twenty seconds later when her lungs give out and she begins to cough and choke, squirming under Himika’s grip._ Let me go! _Reira screams into the water._ I can’t breathe!

_Himika pulls her face up, nails digging into the stinging cold of Reira’s cheeks. Her fingers pinch the tender, purple bruises along his face and neck, causing Reira to flinch in pain._

_“Reira darling,” Himika says, “you need to cool off and heal up. You need to get better.”_

_He doesn’t know if there are tears in his eyes or if it’s water dripping down his sullen face, but Reira only has the energy to shake his head in agony. The hand on the back of his neck threatens to shove him back into the tub where small, oval-shaped ice cubes float. It’s black as death at the bottom of the tub, an endless pit that Reira wants to close her eyes too. She can’t take much more of this abuse, can’t handle the terror of going back into that merciless water. What if Himika never lets her come up for air? What if Reira actually drowns?_

_Cool fingers run along Reira’s jaw, catching on the bones stabbing out of her sallow, goose-bumped skin. “If by Monday your face isn’t healed, Mommy will be blamed, won’t she? Your mommy is taking good care of you by cleaning up your face. What a fall you had, didn’t you?” A second hand on her jaw; the palm of the hand presses just enough against Reira’s jaw that, if Himika exerted any pressure, she could snap Reira’s head from her neck. In one move, Reira’s life could end._

Would that be so bad? Would it be better to end my life now? Would Mom be doing me a favour?

_“Mommy loves you very much, Reira, and she’s taking good care of you, isn’t she?”_

_Reira’s head dives into the water; she has to close her eyes, but there is no point in thrashing this time. Himika is behind Reira, one hand holding back Reira’s hands and the other pushing his face into the tub. No matter how much Reira coughs and chokes, no matter how much he resists, Himika will always be a bit stronger, a bit smarter, a bit_ better _than Reira, and it hurts deeper than the depth of the tub or the cut of her wounds._

* * *

On Monday morning, Yuuya sits in his desk with his head cradled in one hand and watches the empty space where Reira should be. Reira should be sitting kitty corner to Yuuya, taking notes or staring blindly at the chalkboard, but like every Monday, Reira is absent. The spot is like a small void that only Yuuya and Heartland pay attention to; the former keeps an eye on the space, while the latter watches the door. Halfway through class, Yuuya wonders if maybe Reira will just show up late, swing the door open with a vacant expression, and take her seat like nothing's the matter.

However, nothing of that sort happens. Reira’s spot remains empty all through the morning. At lunch time, Yuuya hovers by the window and keeps an eye on the school entrance so that he can spot Reira and her red scarf slip through the gates and head up the courtyard. Still, Reira never comes.

Yuuto keeps an eye on him all period and asks him what has him so worried.

It’s Reira. Yuuya can’t get that terrible memory out of his head. He didn’t tell Yoko when he got home because he couldn’t even think of the _words_ to explain the terrible moment he witnessed. Yuuya doesn’t want to remember seeing Reira spread across the floor of the shed in only her underclothes, pale skin cut and bruised, and all injuries visible. Her bones had jutted out of her skin; she couldn’t even be eating much.

Yuuya skips lunch too, stomach queasy as he peeks out the window. When he has to return to his seat, he doesn’t expect Reira to come to class. She doesn’t; her seat remains empty all day, forgotten by most of the class. Because Reira never speaks up in class and doesn’t have many friends, her presence isn’t a terrible miss for the rest of the students. When they pair off for group activities, no one is without a partner; no one needs Reira. The classroom where only one student is missing isn’t a terrible loss, but it pangs Yuuya’s heart to know _exactly_ why Reira is absent.

 _Should I tell someone?_ Yuuya thinks. Yoko is out of the question: Yuuya doesn’t want to get his mother involved if it might have something to with her future death. Yuuya also doesn’t want to tell his friends – what can they do to help him? Besides, Reira doesn’t know or trust any of those people, and would he want to tell such a dark secret to so many people? Other than those people, there isn’t anyone but Mr. Heartland to tell. His teacher knows about Reira, and he said that Yuuya should come to him if he needed help …

At the front of class, Heartland is explaining a math problem to the student, going through the exercise and calling on different students to help him solve it. Heartland is a kind, understanding teacher; he’s trustworthy. Furthermore, he’s someone who knows Reira and has the authority to help save her. Heartland is a valuable ally for rescuing Reira.

Mind made up, Yuuya folds his hands on his desk and listens to the rest of his teacher’s lesson. He fixes eyes with Heartland several times, pupils narrowed. Heartland must pick up on his behaviour, for as soon as class ends his teacher approaches his desk and lays a hand on Yuuya’s shoulder. “You look quite troubled today, Yuuya. Would you like to come to my office to chat?” He smiles, cheeks pulled out like a goofy frog.

Yuuya nods. “Yes please, sir.”

While students file out of the class, Yuuya doodles in his notebooks and plays with his calculator. Then, once the classroom is empty, Heartland leads him out of the room and down towards the elevator. The walk is silent, tension heavy between them, but Yuuya knows it’s the right thing to do. He boards the elevator and takes it down to the office on the third floor, the one level where students rarely venture to. It’s busier at this hour: several teachers are at their desks and marking homework, while others are beginning to write up lesson plans for the following days or weeks.

In the room, Heartland leads Yuuya to his desk and motions for Yuuya to sit opposite of him on a plush chair. Yuuya shakes his head, remaining standing. Shrugging, Heartland takes a seat and folds his hands across his lap. Dressed up in a dark green tuxedo with a bright pink bow, he is quite the sight among the all-beige furniture of the office. Heartland is the biggest spot of colour in such a dreary room.

“You’re looking quite tense today, Yuuya,” Heartland says, raising a hand to touch Yuuya’s chin. “How are you?”

Yuuya avoids the question. “It’s about Akaba, sir. I’m worried about him.”

Heartland sits up just enough to show interest, one eyebrow raised. “Reira? She wasn’t in class today, was she?” He begins to flip through the roll book, perhaps already looking for the pattern that Yuuya has uncovered. “She doesn’t come on many Mondays, does she?”

“She doesn’t.” Hands in fists, throat clenched tight; Yuuya stands as straight as a stick.

One eye peeks over the roll book. “Do you know why, Yuuya?”

Yuuya nods. “On Saturdays …” He swallows. “On Saturdays, Akaba’s mother hits him in the face. That’s why Reira doesn’t come to school: his injuries have to heal, at least on his face.” A pause. “Sir, Akaba is hurt.” Another pause. Heartland hasn’t spoken, eyes still staring through Yuuya at the wall. The longer Yuuya stands, the more insufferable it becomes. “Sir?”

Heartland sets the roll book down and begins to tap his fingers together, making a sound that is louder than a typhoon even in a room of bustling professors. _Tap, tap, tap._ The sound rings in Yuuya’s ears, but he holds his ground. Slowly, a dark expression takes over Heartland’s face, one that draws his eyebrows together and tugs the corners of his lips down. “I see. So you noticed it too.”

Yuuya cocks his head to the side; suddenly, his body seems quite heavy and he thinks he ought to sit down. “Did you know about this, Mr. Heartland?”

Heartland nods, one hand coming up to rub at his short hair. He looks younger in that moment, much more like the youthful teacher that claps his hands at the start of a lesson and greets each student with an enthusiastic expression. “Well, you could say that …”

His legs give out and Yuuya flops down on the seat. His mouth hangs on its hinges, and it takes a moment longer for Yuuya to regain control of his lips. “W-why, sir? Why haven’t you said or done anything?” Anger bubbles in Yuuya’s heart. Did Mr. Heartland know in the past too? Does that mean that Heartland’s inaction caused Reira to become a victim of a serial kidnapping case? That means then that Yuuya is the first person in this timeline to take action, but … Why? Why hasn’t Heartland done anything?

When there is no response, Yuuya repeats it: “Why didn’t you say anything, sir?”

Heartland fixes him with a cold stare. The conversation is serious now, no more hair-brushing or awkwardness. “Well Yuuya, I didn’t know if I could tell this to Reira’s classmates. I thought that if his classmates knew, it would only isolate Reira further –”

“That doesn’t make sense,” Yuuya interrupts.

“It does,” Heartland explains. “I thought Reira might not make any friends because her classmates would be afraid of her. I thought that revealing her abuse might make the class treat Reira worse. I know you wouldn’t do that, Yuuya, but I have to think of everyone when I make tough decisions like this. I hope you can understand.”

“I … do.” Yuuya swallows.

With a soft smile, Heartland turns his swivel-chair to face Yuuya. He looks like a beacon of hope in a room of off-whites, a colourful saviour reaching out an arm to Yuuya. “I’ve suspected the abuse for a while, actually – since last May, in fact. However Yuuya, I’m not sure how much you know about child protection services, but I needed proof before I could go them. I needed some kind of evidence to support my theory, and I was afraid that anything I brought forth to child services wouldn’t be enough.”

Yuuya nods. He can’t remember that far back, but last May would’ve been shortly after Heartland took over teaching their fifth grade class. All of this year, Heartland has known Reira has been abused.

“You see, Yuuya, Reira’s mother hides the abuse well. You figured it out too, smart boy: on Mondays, she keeps her daughter home if the bruises haven’t healed yet. This makes it hard to spot clear signs of abuse on Reira.”

At this information, Yuuya sits forward. “The bruises are on her legs, sir. I …” Yuuya blushes scarlet as he realises what information he might share. “Reira’s skirt was up a bit and I saw the bruise.”

If Heartland has any questions concerning how Yuuya saw up Reira’s skirt, he doesn’t mention them; rather, he folds his hands on his desk and purses his lips. “Then there’s the problem with the child services themselves. Heartland City doesn’t even have a designated CPS office; we have to contact the head office in Maiami City if there are suspicions of abuse and neglect. Furthermore, that little remote office in Heartland is out of business, so there’s no child protection workers in this city. This has posed a great problem for a variety of reasons.

“First” – Heartland holds up a finger – “agencies won’t come over unless you have significant evidence. Because Reira’s mother is cunning and hides the abuse, rarely have I been able to build a case to get CPS over here. Only three times have CPS visited Reira’s house.

“Next is the trouble of the investigation and meeting. I think his mother has a stroke of luck, for each time there is an investigation Reira and his mother have always been out of town. Each time there has been an investigation, and after I’ve poured _hours_ into building a case, Reira and her mother leave town for a few days for a vacation. It’s infuriating to see.”

“It doesn’t make sense.” Yuuya coughs, self-conscious that he’s blurted that out before his teacher.

Heartland nods, adjusting his bangs around his low, sallow face. “I’ve even visited Reira’s house myself, and each time Himika denies any forms of abuse. It’s so easy to tell that Reira is hurting in that home, but his mother is cunning. I … have hope though. It’s only a matter of time until CPS find Reira’s injuries and take her away.” Heartland pauses to clear his throat. “Yuuya, saving Reira means taking him away from his mother, and from his friends and school. Reira will be put into protective custody and taken away from Heartland City.”

“Sir?”

“You are Reira’s first and only friend, Yuuya. She’ll be gone from this class when CPS comes.”

The tone of those words is discordant, but Yuuya’s resolve remains strong. “I don’t mind, sir. What matters is that Reira is saved; I’ll do _anything_ to protect Reira. I … want you to help me, Mr. Heartland. I want you to help me keep Reira safe.”

With a soft sigh, Heartland nods. “You’re a wise kid, Yuuya,” he says, ruffling the green tufts of Yuuya’s hair, fingers brushing against the goggles on his head.

“I care very much about Reira, sir. Please, help me help him.”

The hand in his hair drops to Heartland’s side, and his teacher stands up from his desk. He guides Yuuya up as well, and the two of them make towards the door. “I will,” Heartland tells him, voice strong and reassuring. “Thank you for your help too, Yuuya. We’ll keep Reira safe, won’t we?” He stops Yuuya at the door, one hand on his shoulder. “Thank you for coming to talk to me about this, Yuuya.”

“You’re welcome, sir.” Yuuya takes a step backwards, and the hand slides off his shoulder. “Have a good day, and … thank you, again.” Hurriedly, Yuuya falls forward into a bow, bangs hanging in front of his face. After a moment, Yuuya rises again and heads out of the staff room and back down the hallway. He doesn’t look back to where Heartland leans in the doorway, a proud smile on his face. Yuuya keeps his shoulders straight and his head held high, and he walks with purpose to the change room.

_Thanks, Mr. Heartland, but I need help now. I need to save Akaba by March 1, and that means not waiting around for CPS._

Furthermore, Yuuya doesn’t think CPS can help unless Reira can testify against his mother. Yuuya remembers watching Reira walk past him in her underclothes and lie about what happened. The lie rings in his ears, a desperate plea for escape. It makes sense, in a sickening way. Himika must’ve brainwashed Reira into thinking the abuse is necessary or her fault, and Reira’s obedience ensures that whatever Himika did was right and that Reira should still love his mother. It makes so little sense in Yuuya’s mind that his stomach churns with bile.

_I need to save Akaba from her mother._

* * *

The next day, Reira comes to class. Bundled up in her thick, red scarf and black peacoat, Reira looks cosy and warm. The only part of her that looks chilled are her hands, bright red with white knuckles, that she uses to slide closed the classroom door. He takes his seat without making eye contact at anyone, not even Yuuya who tries to sneak a glance at Reira. His face appears blemish-free, perhaps from make-up.

“Good morning, Akaba,” Yuuya greets, leaning forward in his desk when Reira passes by.

Reira says nothing.

Slumping forward in his seat, Yuuya breathes out a sigh. Whether from lying to Reira about the race against Shark, or seeing him beaten in the shed, Reira refuses any interaction with Yuuya. No one else bothers to pay attention to Reira, as if the empty space is still vacant. The only one who watches is Yuuya, perched in his chair with his eyes focused on Reira’s every move and shuffle. The bruises on her legs are covered too, though once again when Reira scoots forward his skirt brushes up his thigh just enough to show the beginning of a green and purple bruise. It looks even worse today, like a messy toddler’s painting.

Yuuya feels a bit like his teacher, looking at the evidence of the abuse and unable to interact. If Reira wants nothing to do with him, Yuuya worries that maybe he won’t be able to change fate. It was his goal to befriend Reira so he could keep her safe, yet all he’s done is cause pain and trouble for him. Maybe a sliver of Yuuya’s interactions have helped, though at the moment they don’t offset the trouble caused.

He can’t even bring himself to talk to Reira.

All class Yuuya’s mind focuses on Reira, but he doesn’t get up from his chair other than to answer questions or to sit by the window with his friends. Thus, when class ends, Yuuya’s mind doesn’t register the dozens of chairs screeching back or the eager voices of his classmates discussing what they’ll be doing now that school is done for the day. None of these thoughts stick in Yuuya’s mind until he begins to hear a voice, softly at first and growing steadily louder with each repetition.

“Yuuya?”

“Yuuya?”

“Yuuya, Akaba’s leaving.”

He snaps his head up just as he spots the tail ends of a red scarf pass through the classroom door, blowing in the breeze of students rushing down the hallway to the locker bay. Yuuya’s heart sinks when the door closes though, and he doesn’t get up from his seat. From the seat behind him, Yuuto’s eyebrows mush together.

“Don’t you want to walk home with Akaba?”

Chuckling nervously, Yuuya says, “Yuuto, the thing is … I screwed up. Akaba’s mad at me, I think, and I don’t think he’ll want to walk home with me –”

“You should still talk to him about it though,” Yuuto says. Scooting forward in his desk, he adds, “If you made a mistake, go apologise to him. Don’t you think that’s what Akaba wants too?”

It … makes sense when it comes out of Yuuto’s mouth. “Sure,” Yuuya says then. He wiggles out of his desk and grabs his backpack. “I – you’re right, Yuuto! Thanks! I’ll set things straight with Akaba so that I can keep being her friend!” And with that, Yuuya hurries out of the classroom and down the hallway to the elevator. Since Reira isn’t rushing to get home, Yuuya knows that if he gets down to the lockers and pulls on his shoes, he should be able to meet her at the school entrance.

Downstairs, Yuuya doesn’t see the red scarf anywhere. He tugs on his outdoor shoes and pulls on his jacket, foregoing zipping it up so he can dash out the school doors and out of the courtyard. At the entrance to the school, Yuuya looks right and left down the snowy streets for any sign of Reira. There are students already heading home, but they’re travelling in groups, eagerly chatting about what they’ll do when they get home. Not a single student is walking alone, head bowed.

Yuuya heads down the street towards his house then. He knows that when Reira goes home, he always hangs out at the park by his house until it gets dark. However, when Yuuya arrives at the deserted park, he sees no one. Reira isn’t standing by the barren trees or crouched in the deep snow; across the field, all Yuuya can see is an igloo shadowed by several tall trees. Not even a whisper reaches his cold ears.

 _Where are you?_ Yuuya thinks. He takes a tentative step into the park, worried that at any moment Reira will appear or dash away.

 _I can’t leave Akaba alone,_ Yuuya thinks. _If I’m not with Akaba, I can’t change the future and save him. It’s my actions and my actions alone that can save him, and if all I’ve done is draw a rift between us, I have no hope, no courage, no chance at saving Akaba. I need to make an impact in his life. I need to find Akaba!_

Despite the mantra circling in his head, at six o’clock Yuuya drags himself back out of the park and towards his house. Reira never came home; perhaps she was already home, watching through her front window at Yuuya making laps around the field. He’s discouraged to have let Reira get away from him, even if today isn’t the day Reira will die.

Therefore, the next day Yuuya wakes up earlier than usual and throws himself together. He pulls on his winter clothes by himself and hurriedly puts together a lunch. He has himself ready for school just as Yoko stumbles out of the bedroom rubbing her green eyes.

“You’re … leaving early?” she says, blinking at him.

“I have something important to do today!” Yuuya tells her as he hikes his backpack straps up onto his shoulders. “I love you, Mama! Have a good day today!” Before he can hear Yoko’s reply, Yuuya closes the door. He stands at the doorstep, breath fogging in the dark, quiet night. At this hour, few people are awake and commuting to work. There is just enough light for him to see the beginning of the sidewalk, and with each step the city gets a bit more brighter.

Today, Yuuya will apologise to Reira. Today, he’ll keep her safe and work harder at being her friend. The images of Reira’s abuse still linger in the backs of his eyes and corrupt his nightmares, but it’s not the only images of Reira he can see. He … sees her smile. It’s weak, shy – but bright. Reira’s smile lights up the city before Yuuya, and with each step Yuuya’s heart beats a little bit faster.

On March 1, Akaba Reira will not die.

When Yuuya gets to Heartland Academy, no one else is on campus. The building doors are open, and the office staff and some professors are lurking on the third floor; however, the locker bay and the upper hallways are all dark and empty, and Yuuya walks down them feeling like the walls are closing in around him. He keeps thinking about the light – his light, Reira’s light – all the way into the classroom, where he turns on the heating and begins arranging the room for the day.

A moment later, the door swings open. Reira steps in, still wearing her thick winter coat and red scarf, and writes his name on the board under Yuuya’s. Today Reira also has classroom duty.

“Good morning, Akaba!” Yuuya greets, spinning around with a warm smile.

Over the top of his red scarf, Reira does little more than raise a slender, purple eyebrow. “Morning.”

It’s the only word he says all class, keeping to himself at his desk all throughout the morning. Yuuya thinks about bringing up his concerns during their quick break between lessons, but thinks better of it when he remembers how private Reira is. If they’re going to talk, they’ll need to be somewhere where Reira can’t worry about his words being overheard.

On the plus side, since both he and Reira have classroom duties, they spend their break time collecting lunch money. While Yuuya calls out to his classmates to hand in their lunch money, Reira holds out a hand to put the envelopes in a large folder. This lunch money will be for hot lunches served throughout the week, of which most of his classmates pay for.

Thus, when lunchtime arrives, Yuuya reaches his hand into his desk, ready to pull out the envelope and hand the money to the teacher for hot lunch – and it’s not there. Yuuya sticks his other hand deep inside his desk and feels around the for the large manila envelope. He ducks down so he can see inside too, but there’s nothing but papers and pencils in there. No lunch money, no envelope.

A cold sweat washes over Yuuya, coupled by a heavy sigh. Yuuya _knows_ that he didn’t give the envelope to Reira after they collected the money during the break; therefore, someone’s stolen them.

_Shit._

Yuuya raises a guilty hand to get Mr. Heartland’s attention. “Sir, the lunch money is missing.”

Before even Heartland can get a word out, Serena – sitting next to him with her lips pursed tight – throws up her hand. “Sir, I don’t think it’s just missing. I think someone _stole_ the lunch money, probably someone who doesn’t have enough money to buy lunch for themselves.” She takes a careful look around the classroom, at every pair of eyes focused on her except for one … “I think Akaba stole the money.”

Yuuya’s hands hit his desk, causing everyone in the room to flinch. “And what makes you say that?” he says, cheeks burning. Yuuya can already picture how this will go down.

With a smug smile on her face, Serena says, “Akaba doesn’t have enough money to buy lunch for herself, yet he’s eating today. That must mean he got the money from stealing it.”

Next to Reira, a kid turns to her and says, “Is that true? Did you steal it, Akaba?” Slowly, the murmurs grow into a rumble of accusatory voices. In the middle of the mystery, Reira sits solemnly in her desk with her head bowed, eyes shielded from the harsh gazes of her classmates. Pins puncture Yuuya’s heart when he spots Reira being preyed upon by the other students. He’s been framed, Yuuya is certain of it!

“I think we should search through everyone’s desk and backpack,” Serena says. “That way we’ll find the money for sure and everyone can have lunch.”

Murmurs of agreement circle through the class. Most of the students begin digging through their belongings, pulling out old sheets of marked homework or lost pens and pencils. Sitting behind him, Yuugo kicks up his feet and puts his hands behind his head. “I wasn’t even paying attention in class today,” he remarks, “and I haven’t moved once, so I couldn’t have taken it. You can’t frame me for it!”

Yuuya knows that Yuugo won’t have the money. The only person that will have the money will be Reira, who will have been framed for it. Yuuya swallows hard.

Kitty corner to him, Reira raises her hand up. The manila envelope is pinched between her fingers, bulging with the lunch money. “Found it.” Voice expressionless, face void of feeling. Reira looks like he did in the photograph taken just before he died.

“Knew it,” Serena says.

 _Slam!_ Yuuya’s fist hits the table, red eyes burning into Serena’s chair tumbles back as Yuuya turns on Serena, standing over her with his fists balled. “How dare you!” Yuuya shouts. “Even if Akaba’s family is poor, he would never steal the lunch money! He’s been framed!”

The classroom falls silent. Reira has looked up from the manila envelope now, watching Yuuya huff from his seat.

“Someone framed Akaba because he would never steal that lunch money!” _You framed her, Serena._

Behind him, Yuuya hears the _scritch!_ of Yuuto’s chair move backwards. “I think,” Yuuto says, “it would be easy for anyone to frame Akaba because all they’d need to do is take the money out of Yuuya’s desk. It would be easy for anyone near Yuuya to reach into his desk and hide the money, don’t you think?” Yuuto’s eyes are glowing violet, fixated on Serena.

 _Tap! Tap! Tap!_ Heartland’s fingers on his desk gather the attention of the class, where he then claps his hands together before them. “Everyone, I don’t think we need to be pointing fingers. Reira is on lunch duty today, isn’t he? Then it would make sense that he’d have the lunch money. Serena, Yuuya, that’s enough arguing for today. This is not something we need to fight about, and I’m glad that we’ve found the lunch money. Now let’s enjoy our meals.”

Yuuya’s eyes roll towards Serena, who has dropped her expression to her desk. _How dare you,_ thinks Yuuya. Framing Reira for stealing the lunch money, turning the class against him. Yuuya shivers. Perhaps this is the kind of behaviour Heartland was afraid of when he said that he didn’t want the class to tease and bully Reira.

For the rest of class, Reira, Serena, and Yuuya say nothing. They sit at their desks and eat in silence, and when the lessons resume none of them raise their hands to speak. Yuuya refuses to meet Serena’s eyes, furious enough that he has to sit _next_ to her for the rest of the period. And Reira? Yuuya keeps an eye on Reira all class, heart bursting with the words he wants to say. He wants to apologise to her for losing the money and letting Reira be framed for stealing, and he wants to apologise for everything else that’s happened – and most importantly, Yuuya just wants to talk with Reira, as friends, as if nothing is wrong.

When class ends, Yuuya hops out of his seat and hurries to Reira’s side. He raises his head, expression void, and says nothing.

Yuuya holds out a hand for Reira. “Come on, we need to clean off the blackboards now. We’ll be the last ones to leave, so we should try to be quick before they close the school doors.”

Over her shoulder, Reira glares at him. “They don’t lock the doors until after sunset.”

“True, true,” Yuuya answers, already wiping a damp cloth over the board, “but I still think we should work hard.” Reira doesn’t say anything after that, and the two of them fall into a steady rhythm. They wipe off the boards and clap the dust off of the brushes. Then they use clean cloths to scrub off each of the desks, and they sweep the floors of all dirt and dust. In the winter, the floors are quite muddy from dirty feet, so Yuuya gets down on his hands and knees and scrubs them until they shine.

“Hey, Yuuya.”

Yuuya doesn’t lift his head; Reira is two rows over wiping off the final set of desks. “Yeah?”

“Thanks … for what you did for me today. I appreciate it.”

“She was being too harsh by accusing you,” Yuuya says, “and I wouldn’t let the class tease you for that.” Yuuya does look up this time, spotting Reira at the end of the row with her rag and cleaning bottle in her hands. She shrugs when he looks at her, and she returns the supplies to the back of the classroom.

“Well,” she says, “she’s always been like that. She’s teased me about being poor before, and … everyone else has. Everyone in class knows I’m poor, and anyone could have framed me for it. One time, that girl – Serena – tried to befriend me, and she invited me to a Christmas party. But really all she did was brag about her tree, and play games that I couldn’t understand. Still …” Reira turns to face him, the briefest of smiles on her lips. “It was a lovely tree.”

In his mind, Yuuya pictures the biggest Christmas tree he can remember, one that stuck with him even after 18 years. He remembers climbing up a hill to see it, spotting the beautiful branches decorated with precious lights and ornaments. It had been quite the climb, and Yuuya can’t remember who he went to see the tree with; but in his mind, held close to his heart, Yuuya remembers the Christmas tree.

“Want to go see it?” he blurts out to Reira.

It makes him blink. “Huh?”

“The Christmas tree – want to go see it?” They’re done cleaning now, and Yuuya wants to make sure he spends time with Reira and takes her home. He’s apologised too, so now it’s time to continue befriending Reira.

“ … Are you stupid?” Reira says, lips moving before the blush even settles on her cheeks. “It’s February, Sakaki. Christmas is over.”

“Still,” Yuuya insists. Even when Reira turns around and begins twirling his long, red scarf round his neck, Yuuya doesn’t waver. _I won’t let Reira be alone,_ Yuuya thinks. In his jacket pocket he can feel something warm in there, something that Yoko gave him this morning. Yuuya yanks the gloves out and holds them out to Reira. “Here. Up on the mountaintop your hands might get cold.”

Reira doesn’t take them, hands hanging at his sides. His lips purse into a tight line and he stares up at Yuuya. “I didn’t say I was going though.”

“And you didn’t say you _weren’t_ going,” Yuuya says, “so let’s go, Akaba. You don’t have anywhere to be this afternoon, do you?” With a deep breath, Yuuya holds out his hand. It shakes a bit, his fingers tense with anticipation. After a moment, Reira takes his hand, fingers intertwined. Fate weaves their destinies together. In that moment, all that Yuuya sees is Reira, holding his hand, smiling, stepping towards him, crossing the rift between them. Reira follows him out of the classroom, matching his footsteps, and together they head out of the school.

Rather than heading home, Yuuya takes Reira round the courtyard and back behind the school. There aren’t many tall hills in Heartland – most of the rough landscape is in Academia – but in the deep snow the trek still wears him out. His breath comes out in heavy pants as they scale up the side of a hill; behind him, Reira bends forward to ease the pressure on his legs. Holding onto Reira’s mittened hand wams Yuuya up even when he wears his own mittens. Each time Reira squeezes his hand, Yuuya’s heart beats a bit faster.

Eventually, the hill stops climbing up to the heavens and levels out just enough to Yuuya to not feel a burning sensation in his lungs. This part of the climb has deeper snow, but without the steep incline Yuuya feels himself relax and enjoy the trek. Reira matches his pace and sticks close to him, eyes gazing over the quiet winter wonderland. They’re up above most of the city buildings now, and far enough away from civilisation that Yuuya can’t hear the cars or trains, or even the voices of people on the streets. He and Reira are among a tranquil silence that blankets the mountainside.

“Have you ever been up this far?” Yuuya asks, turning back to look at Reira. His cheeks are red and his scarf covers most of his face.

Reira shakes his head.

“Well,” Yuuya explains, “I think this is the part of the hill where Yuugo tried sledding down. All four of us were on the sled at one point – Yuugo and Yuuto and Yuuri and me – and we went so fast and crashed into a snow pile. I’m surprised no one broke any bones.”

His words make her laugh, just a quiet tittle that is snatched up by the chilly wind.

Yuuya opens his mouth to say more when he hears the sound of snow being shoveled aside, and along the top of a snowy rift appear two foxes that chase after each other. The foxes run along the snowbanks and through the thicket of the wintery storm, their red and brown coats covered in small snowballs. When the foxes spot Yuuya though, they chase after them – not to hurt them, but to circle him and Reira, flurrying the snow on the ground. Yuuya pulls Reira close and watches how the foxes chase after one another, even after they dash away from Yuuya and Reira, and head down the mountainside.

“That’s amazing,” Reira says under her breath.

 _I agree,_ Yuuya thinks. He remembers the foxes; it’s a memory that Yuuya has well. However, his old memory wasn’t with Reira, but when he was alone. He climbed this mountain alone, and when he told his friends about it the following day they didn’t believe him. With Reira having seen them too, Yuuya is confident that if he tells Yuuto and the others tomorrow at school, they’ll have to believe him. And best of all, Yuuya got the chance to show Reira the view.

“They’re a couple,” Yuuya explains, “or at least I think so.” At that moment, Yuuya’s eyes turn down to his hand still holding Reira’s. His cheeks burn, and upon seeing Reira’s eyes focused on their held hands, Yuuya pulls away. “Come on,” Yuuya says with a nervous cough. “We’ve got to do a bit more climbing now.”

On their hands and knees, Yuuya and Reira scale the side of the mountain. It isn’t steep enough to worry about falling, and it doesn’t tire them out, but with limbs in the snow Yuuya feels like an explorer. He and Reira are crossing a chasm together, growing closer with each passing minute. Even if Reira isn’t talking to him, Reira trusts him.

At the top of the mountain is the tree. It’s not covered in decorations or glowing brightly; in fact, there aren’t even any leaves or pines on this tree. Rather, through the tree’s flimsy, skeletal branches are dozens – no, _thousands_ – of stars peeking through, lighting up the rich bark. The tree appears to be on fire from the lights behind it, and from Yuuya and Reira’s point at the top of the mountain, it looks like there are Christmas lights on the tree.

“The Christmas tree,” Yuuya says, pointing up at the beautiful tree atop the hill. He pulls himself forward until he’s standing at the base of the trunk, one hand on the smooth, cold bark. Yuuya’s memories are clear: he’s been to this tree before. This time though, Reira is with him, just a step back with her hand outstretched. She doesn’t touch it just yet, not until Yuuya pulls her hand forward.

“ … Are you stupid?” she asks. “It’s February right now.”

Reira presses his hand against the tree, right on top of Yuuya’s. With Reira’s hand on his, Yuuya feels like they’ve stepped over the void together. He and Reira are together; they’re not missing, not forgotten in time and space that loses people like Yuuya has lost his own memories. This time, Yuuya won’t forget about Reira. He won’t forget about the hand over his, about the face inches from his own.

He won’t forget about Akaba Reira’s smile illuminated by the starscape.

“Let’s … see this Christmas tree in the summer, OK?”

Reira leans against his shoulder, purple hair wrapped around her body. So close to him, Yuuya can even feel the rise and fall of her body. “Are you stupid?”


	11. Chapter 11

_I want to take Akaba to the science centre,_ Yuuya thinks. He’s been to the museum before, and he remembers the different exhibits. Even though Yuuya knows he’ll never become a scientist of any kind, that building is his happy place. There’s a library next door to it with picture books and small encyclopaedias about animals, bugs, humans, and space. There’s a train that leads into a room about engines and other vehicles.

But best of all, Yuuya remembers the silence in the building. It is a peaceful quietness that blankets the entire centre. Often times there aren’t people around, but when there are Yuuya is too lost in his own thoughts to notice them.

_Reira doesn’t like being around people either, so she’ll like it._

Yuuya shifts in his seat at the table. In his pockets three thousand yen crunches against his hip; he’d found the money tucked back in his closet. Past-him must’ve been saving this money for an important trip, and now Yuuya thinks it’s the time to use it.

Across from him, Yoko eats with a serious appetite, picking food from each of her plates and barely chewing before she swallows.

“Hey, Mama?” Yuuya asks.

She looks up. “Hm? What’s up?”

With her eyes focused on him, Yuuya’s heart beats faster. He sinks lower into his seat to avoid her stare. Out of his mouth tumbles a few ums and ahs, before he speaks up and says, “I want to go out this Saturday …”

Despite how awkward Yuuya feels, Yoko does little more than pause in eating to say, “A date?”

Yuuya bolts upright, spine rigidly straight. His face glows red with embarrassment, which Yoko picks up with a raise of her eyebrow. How Yoko got a date from his nervous mumblings is … not as impressive as Yuuya originally thought, but still! His mother’s braveness surprises him. Nonetheless, Yuuya coughs into his hand and waves off her suggestion. “Not a date, no. I just want to take some friends to the science centre. We’ll all go after school and hang out for a bit.”

Yoko nods, scooping up another spoonful of miso soup. “Do you have money?”

Yuuya nods, reaching into his pockets for the money. “I found this in the back of my closet, saved just for this occasion.”

Rather than be proud of him through, Yoko only frowns. “Too bad – if it was a date, I would’ve given you some money to treat them.”

 _W-what?_ Yuuya swallows hard. Yoko is one to get involved in other people's business, but to go so far as to pay for his date? And furthermore, to pay for Yuuya’s date with someone he barely knows? Yuuya cannot believe her some days. He tries to keep the surprise off of his face, but by this point he knows he’s been caught. The Cheshire Cat smile on Yoko’s face is clearly visible.

“It’s a date, isn’t it?”

He can do nothing else but nod.

Yoko then reaches over the table to nudge him on the shoulder, still smiling widely. “That’s great to hear, Yuuya! You should invite them over afterwards – we’ll have dinner together, or something like that. You rarely have friends over, and now this! And the birthday party too.” She sits back down with a chuckle, and murmurs under her breath, “Look at you becoming a social butterfly.”

Yuuya’s ears burn scarlet and he looks back down at his soup. “Akaba will be coming to my birthday party –”

Right off that bat, Yoko answers, “So their name’s Akaba? Akaba who lives near us, right?”

“Yes.” The more Yuuya sits through this conversation, the more he feels under pressure. He shouldn't though, not when Yoko is just having fun with him and creating conversation. At his sigh, Yuuya hears Yoko shuffle in her seat and then reach across the table. Between her two fingers are several bills, adding up to …

“Mama!”

She pushes the money closer to him. “Go treat yourself. You’ve worked hard, and I’m happy you’re hanging out with Akaba.”

With a dip of his head, Yuuya takes the money with both hands. “Thank you, Mama. I …” She’s still smiling at him – she always looks happy and proud of him, even when Yuuya isn’t sure why she is. So he lets the words disappear on his lips and settles for pocketing the money with another thank you.

Yoko pushes his plates towards him. “Eat up and then maybe we’ll read a book together. Do you have any studying to do tonight?”

“Just a bit, Mama, and then I’ll come read with you.” Yuuya shovels the rest of his rice into his mouth, and downs the miso soup while Yoko clears the dishes. She leaves the dirty plates and bowls on the counter for him to wash, which he begins once he’s finished his own food. Once the table is clean and the dishes are washed and put away, Yoko shooes him into the bathroom.

“What about the book?” Yuuya asks, pulling off his shirt and pants.

“We’ll do that before we sleep. First, we need to get clean.”

His mother sprays him down with water and washes clean his body. Her hands along his shoulders and neck makes him giggle, and even when she warns him that soap will get in his eyes, Yuuya squirms in delight. When she rinses him off again, Yuuya is quick to then hop into the bathtub and soak. The water is hot and steamy; unlike in larger families where he might have to wait his turn to bathe, Yuuya and Yoko can bathe together.

At the edge of the bath, Yoko leans over to rub her nose with him. “Hey, aren’t you going to wash me too? I did all of that work for you, Yuuya.”

Chuckling, Yuuya climbs out of the bath. He pushes down on Yoko’s shoulders to make her squat, and then pours shampoo onto his hands. Yoko’s blonde hair trails down her back in uneven, wavy strands; even while wet, it won’t lay flat along her spine. Yuuya scoops up the heavy, sodden hair and runs the shampoo through it; he creates a tower of shampooed hair atop her head.

“Are you making a new hairstyle for me?” Yoko asks.

Yuuya laughs. He reaches around her and touches his mother’s eyes. “Close them or else you’ll get soap there.”

Yoko shields her eyes as Yuuya dumps water atop her head. Now that the soap is out, he conditions it, running his fingers through the strands once more.

“Mama, your hair is so long.”

She hms in reply. “Does Akaba have long hair?”

Out of instinct, Yuuya blurts out “Yes.” His cheeks burst red again, and he shakes his head. “I mean, I think so. It’s … as long as yours.” He pauses, waiting for Yoko to laugh. However, she is silent, head bowed so that he can massage the last of the conditioner onto the long tendrils of hair on her back. “Reira’s hair is long and purple, like amethyst when you smash those big geodes in the science centre. It’s so pretty and sparkly and soft.”

“That sounds beautiful, Yuuya.”

He agrees. This time he reaches out a hand to rest along Yoko’s hairline, and he tips her head back just enough so that when he washes out her hair, the conditioner doesn’t fall into her eyes. With her hair soaking wet, he balls it atop her head and then shampoos her back. Yoko washes the front of her body with a cloth. Then, when both of them are clean, they climb into the bath together. There isn’t much extra room for another person; Yuuya’s knees tap against Yoko’s when he braces them against his chest.

“Mama?”

“Yes, Yuuya?”

“I really want Akaba to come to my birthday party.” Every time Yuuya says his name, he thinks about that flicker of a smile he saw when he held Reira’s hand. When they went to see the Christmas tree together, Reira was smiling too. On March 1st, Reira will live, and on March 2nd she’ll come to Yuuya’s birthday party.

Thinking about her death makes Yuuya’s cheeks go red; thankfully, no tears fall, but he still sniffles into his hand. Up from the water comes his mother’s hand to wipe at his face. “Why are you crying? Did you get soap in your eyes?”

 _She knows,_ Yuuya thinks. “I just … want my friends to come to my birthday this year.”

“If you are good friends with them, then I bet they’ll want to come. Have hope that you are worth something special to them, and that they’ll want to celebrate that special day with you.”

Yuuya lets the words sink in, leaning back in the bath to submerge his shoulders. Does he mean something to his friends? Who is he to the rest of the world? To him, his friends are his inspirations and his meaning in life. He lives so that he can keep playing and having fun with Yuugo, Yuuto, and Yuuri; and he lives so that Reira can see another day. That’s why he’s here: he’s saving Reira so she can live the rest of her life free from abuse and neglect, and he’s changing fate so that no one else – not even his mother – dies as a result of these horrible serial kidnappings.

* * *

The following day in class, Yuuya’s mind wanders to the trip to the science centre. He hasn’t told anyone; his lips have been sealed all day. Behind him, Yuugo kicks his seat out of boredom. Yuuto is paying attention, his pencil scritch-scratching on his paper. Ahead of him is Reira, who said good morning to him today. Yuuya can’t wait to surprise Reira with going to the science centre.

In fact, most of the class seems to be in good spirits today. All around the room everyone is smiling or paying attention, appearing to look forward to the end of class in a few minutes.

Everyone except Serena, that is. Sitting next to him with her lips tight in a line, she looks constipated if Yuuya is to be honest with himself. She doesn’t look like she’s having fun at all, or even looking forward to class ending. This morning, Yuuya didn’t hear her say hi to everyone, and when she’d spoken in class her words have been hushed and murmured. Whereas she would normally raise her hand to answer questions, today she’s been unusually silent.

When the bell does ring, she doesn’t even get up from her seat. The classroom bursts with chatter as students begin deciding their after-school plans. Serena rolls her eyes at them all and mutters, “What a bunch of brainless groupies.”

Yuuya chuckles under his breath. “Didn’t you used to hang out with them, Saotome?”

She sniffs and turns away.

Swinging his backpack over his shoulder, Yuuya tries a more casual tone with her. “How about not being so stubborn and maybe trying to hang out with them?”

Serena does not take his advice well, leaning back with his lips pressed even tighter into a line. They’re even white, bordering on the same pasty tone as her skin. “And how is that any of your business? No one will talk to me because I’m a thief. Mr. Heartland thinks so, and you do too. So just go away.” She shoulders her own backpack and storms off without another word.

Yuuya waits for a moment, unsure of how he should proceed. He doesn’t know Serena very well, and besides … His gaze flicks over to Reira, who is focused on putting away her textbooks. What’s most important to Yuuya right now is keeping Reira safe and having a good day with her. Serena will be fine; he needs to worry about Reira.

At the same time though, Yuuya’s cheeks are already growing hot at the idea of asking Reira out _first_ and while in the classroom. With a hard swallow, Yuuya looks over to his friends sitting by the window. To make it less awkward, he’ll invite the guys first and then invite Reira.

Yuuya turns to his friends, all seated on the desks by the windowsill. Yuugo’s got his legs spread out wide over the sides of the desk. Next to him, Yuuri, too short to copy Yuugo, has his legs curled together. Yuuto stands by the window with a new book today, one that Yuuya thinks high-schoolers might read.

“Hey,” Yuuya says with a wave. “I’ve got an idea. Why don’t we all go to the science centre on Saturday? I was thinking we could all go there … and maybe Akaba would come with us too.”

Flying forward in his spot, Yuugo exclaims, “Sure! We’ve gotta check out the train this time.”

Yuuri yanks him back by the collar of his shirt.

Leaning against the wall, Yuuto shakes his head. “Sorry Yuuya, but I’ve already got plans today that I can’t change. They’re really urgent.”

“Me too,” Yuuri says. “And Yuugo needs to study too, _don’t you?”_ By the serious tone, Yuuya thinks something might be a bit off. However, not a moment later Yuugo is reassuring him that yeah, he really does need to study if he’s going to pass fifth grade. Turning to him, Yuuri says, “Looks like we’re all busy, Yuuya, but that doesn’t mean you can’t go. Why don’t you ask _Reira?”_

“I … guess,” Yuuya says; he has no other choice. Suddenly all three of his friends are heading towards the door though, waving goodbye with smiles.

“Have fun with Akaba!” Yuuya hears out the door. Then the classroom door closes shut and Yuuya is alone in class with Reira, standing awkwardly by his desk and pretending to have not been eavesdropping on the entire conversation. Yuuya shuffles his feet back and forth. He thought this would interest all of his friends.

However, moments later Reira comes to stand next to him. “Sakaki, what’s going on?”

Yuuya swallows. _“My friends all just ditched me I think because they wanted us to go on a date.”_

“Huh?”

 _Shit, I said that out loud._ Yuuya shakes his head to wipe away his embarrassment, which is probably as clear on his face as Reira’s own blush is. He hangs his head in shame, until he remembers just why he’s doing this. He’s saving Reira. On Saturday, he’ll keep Reira out of the house and away from Himika to ensure that she doesn’t die. Then, on Sunday, they’ll celebrate their birthdays and time will have changed.

“Akaba.”

Reira raises her head to meet his eyes. “Yeah, Sakaki?”

A deep breath, in and out. “Do you want to go somewhere with me on Saturday?”

At first, Reira’s face lifts up a bit – and then drops, eyes sullen and sinking back into his tired face. “I’m supposed to come home early on Saturdays though … for Mom.”

 _So she can beat you,_ Yuuya thinks. _I won’t let that happen again._ Forcing a smile, Yuuya says, “I want to take you somewhere though, a really cool place that I like to go to. I’ll even ask for her permission. Um.” Yuuya chuckles. “How about we go and see her now? I live close to your house.”

Reira’s eyes widen, but she nods. She shoulders her backpack and leads Yuuya out of the classroom, down the elevator, and to the locker bay. They switch out their indoors shoes for their boots, and dress up warm for the winter weather. Outside, Yuuya can see small flurries of snow along the flat fields. It’ll be a chilly walk to Reira’s house.

Once outside, Yuuya nestles his face into his sweater and sticks his cold hands in his pockets. He should’ve brought the cotton gloves they wore up to the mountain, but those are at home. Even Reira is better dressed than him in her peacoat and thick, red scarf. Despite keeping her head bowed for the entire walk, she doesn’t miss a turn once and leads him into the suburbs by her house. Yuuya’s blood runs cold when he remembers the last time he was here, and the times before that. Reira’s house makes his blood run cold and his throat grow dry.

Like before, the house has no lights or decorations, and the snow out front of the house hasn’t been stepped on once. The driveway is hidden; there are no signs of life until Yuuya and Reira step up to the door, where Yuuya can then see a faint trail leading round the house to the backyard. Yuuya swallows hard. The last time he was here, Reira was in the shed, stripped to her underwear, bleeding and bruised.

Reira takes his hand; with her other hand she knocks on the door. There’s a _thump!_ from inside and a slurred mumble of voices, and then the door swings open. Himika is dressed primly in a skirt and blouse, but her eyes are hollow and black.

“Reira.”

“Hello, Mom.”

Himika’s eyes slide over to see Yuuya. She says nothing, lips pursed. Instead, she looks back down to Reira, as if expecting her child to make the next move. Yuuya then realises this is his time to speak up.

With a clearing of his throat, Yuuya says, “Hello, ma’am. I’m one of Akaba’s classmates. Akaba and I want to go out on Saturday.”

A raise of a slender eyebrow. “Where?” Himika drawls.

Yuuya hadn’t planned on telling Reira until they arrived there as a fun surprise; however, he knows he’ll have to tell Reira and Himika if he can get her permission. “The science centre.”

“That’s too far.”

Immediate response – it hits Yuuya like a tonne of bricks. However, Yuuya predicted such refusals, so he retorts with, “We’re not going there to play. It’s for a school project.” Reira must lie to his mother all the time; Yuuya will do the same.

“Can’t you just study at home?” Himika says. She raises her head to peer down her nose at them. Her small, blue eyes remind Yuuya of a snake’s. “Reira has to help me with housework on Saturdays.”

Yuuya’s hands ball into fists. _Housework – you beat her on Saturdays._ His temper flares at the thought of seeing Reira once more in her storage shed, bruises up and down her starved body. Yuuya still has nightmares of finding him in the shed. Plus, a sick feeling forms in Yuuya’s stomach. March 1st is when Reira died. Yuuya won’t leave Reira anywhere where she’ll be in danger, especially not at the house of her abusive mother.

However, Yuuya knows that he can’t get irrational, not with Himika. Taking a deep breath, Yuuya says, “Well, why don't I help Reira and then we’ll go together. Two hands are better than –”

“We don’t need help,” Himika says. She snatches Reira’s arm and tugs her up the step. Reira digs in her heels so that she’s still outside of the house, still holding hands with Yuuya.

“And why not? Why can’t I help Akaba?” Yuuya’s hands shake at his sides. “Why do you keep Akaba home so much?”

Himika bristles at the confrontation, stepping forward so that she’s outside of the house and towering over both of them. Her next words come out as poison spit from her blood-red lips: “What are you trying to say? I can think of a dozen reasons why two children shouldn’t be running around town. If something happens to one of you … who will be held responsible for it?”

 _I won’t let you hurt Reira._ Yuuya takes a step forward, holding Reira’s frozen hand close. He snatches a quick glance at her: she’s scared, he can tell that expression on her face by the way her eyes lose their light and her expressions dull to nothing.

“You don’t trust your own daughter?”

“Mind your own business,” Himika tells him. One of her hands reaches out, coming along to rest atop Reira’s head. Himika’s fingers snake into her daughter’s hair, and slowly she pulls Reira backwards into her. “Besides, why would you want to take such an unsociable, robotic kid there anyways? Why do you have any interest in Reira at all.”

Reira’s eyes fall to the ground.

With a growl, Yuuya steps forward, squeezing tight to Reira’s hands. He’s in front of Reira now, but his gaze is upwards to where Himika hangs like a grotesque marionette with ebony strings. “I care about saving my friend!”

“Saving?” It comes with a laugh, dripping with sarcasm and disgust. “Saving Reira from what?”

_From you._

But Himika continues, hand digging into Reira’s scalp and twisting around her violet hair. “Who do you think you are, a prince? You barely even know Reira.” Leaning down over her daughter, Himika slides her hand down to cup Reira’s cheek. “Reira, do you want to go?”

Reira’s eyes widen, then close. Slowly, Reira’s head dips forward once, twice –

Himika’s hand snatches the back of Reira’s hair and pulls tight. Her face rips apart in anger, lips curling, eyes glowing. “How dare you! You don’t have friends, Reira!” Her other hand comes round, ready to collide with Reira’s cheek –

And then it stops, held back by another hand firmly latched round Himika’s wrist. Yuuya whirls around to see his mother standing just behind him on the staircase. She’s dressed in her winter coat and in her free hand she carries a few bags of groceries. How his mother appeared here of all places is a mystery to him, but for the moment all Yuuya can think of is how Yoko swooped in to stop it.

“Please stop, Akaba-san. I hear your worries, and I’m here to let you know that these two children are very responsible.”

Himika snaps her wrist free from Yoko’s grip, nursing it against her chest. Her eyes boil in anger, and her other hand still twists in Reira’s long hair. “Sakaki-san, this concerns my family, not yours –”

“Half of this is mine, since that’s my son there.” Yoko sets a hand on Yuuya’s shoulder, massaging the tender skin there. Yuuya leans against his mother, but he refuses to let go of Reira for even a second. Yoko has stopped the worst of the fight now, but Yuuya is still worried that any second Reira could get hurt. “Akaba-san, when a child is willing to do something, his parents must support him. As a parent, you need to listen to your child and help them in whatever ways you can. That is what parenting is all about.”

Himika looks away.

“I’ve already offered to pay for the trip,” Yoko continues, “so please don’t worry about that. In fact, Yuuya’s been to the science centre before, so he’ll even be able to give your daughter a tour. I don’t think you should worry about either of them getting in trouble. Now, why don’t you come over tomorrow? We can chat over tea. I bet we could find something in common.”

Himika doesn’t say anything, doesn't even acknowledge Yoko’s kind words. Yuuya watches Himika slide her talon-like hand down Reira’s head and to her back, and she pushes her daughter towards the door. “Get in the house, Reira.”

Just as Reira looks back one more time, Yuuya raises a hand. “It’s a promise then? See you on Saturday.”

The door slams shut in his face. Yuuya hears the shuffle of feet on the floor and he waits for several moments just in case Reira cries out for help. When he hears none though, he breathes a sigh of relief. Yoko stands a step below him. She’s taken on a cocky smile, hands in the large pockets of her jackets.

“Did I butt in carelessly? You looked like you were having a serious talk.”

“No,” Yuuya says, reaching for her hand. She’s wearing gloves that warm his frozen palms, and he clings tightly to her as they descend the stairs together and head back home. “Thanks for coming to get me, Mama. I really appreciate it.”

Yoko laughs and musses up his hair, tugging his head against her side. It makes it hard for them to walk side by side, but Yuuya likes this feeling of closeness.

“I finished work early today and was just on my way home from a quick shopping trip when I saw you and Akaba-kun walking home together, so I followed you –”

“You _followed_ me!”

Yoko tugs him closer, burying her nose in his hair and bumping into the goggles there. “Kidding, kidding.” She gives him one more tight, awkward side-hug before looking back over her shoulder to Reira’s house. With the lights off and the house undecorated, it looks more like a prison. The blinds are shut tight, windows darkened. No one would even be able to tell a family lives there, if Himika and Reira can even be considered a family.

With a small smile, Yoko tells him, “I think Reira will be OK for today. She’s wearing good, warm clothes for the winter, so her mother must care about outside appearances. That must be why the windows are closed, and why Akaba-san didn’t let us inside when it was so cold out. She even looks quite well-dressed herself, even though I don’t think she works.”

At first, Yuuya doesn’t hear the words right. Is Yoko … apologising for Himika? Then he thinks over the words again and he realises what is being said and what is being implied, and he nods. “Do you know about Akaba’s family?”

“No, but just from that one conversation I understand what they’re going through.” Himika tugs him into a hug once again, and whispers in his ear, “Reira is a cute boy.”

Yuuya’s cheeks burn in embarrassment, and he pulls away. He laughs off his mother’s words. “Yeah, and so am I, right?”

“You are,” Yoko says. “You are very cute, Yuuya. And” – she taps his nose playfully – “you shouldn’t give up in the middle of a fight.”

* * *

On Saturday, February 27, it is a warm, sunny day. Yuuya wakes up and stretches his arms high above his head, and shakes out all the kinks in his limbs. His mind is already moving: today is the day he and Reira go to the science centre. He has their schedule mapped out in his head: pick Reira up at noon, then head to the centre. From there, they’ll hang around all day until they get bored, and then head somewhere.

“You should invite her over for dinner,” Yoko says from the doorway.

Yuuya blushes, realising that he’d been speaking aloud. “I … can. It’s just really important that I hang out with Akaba today.”

“It’s a really nice gesture,” Yoko says. “I’m proud of you, Yuuya, for taking such good care of your friends. Now, hurry up and get dressed. Breakfast is on the table for you.”

Yuuya slips out of bed and dresses. He pushes his hair out of his eyes with his goggles, and then pulls his hair forward when his eyes appear to pop out of his skull. None of his clothes look fancy enough until Yuuya remembers that one, this isn’t a _date,_ and that two, he’ll be wearing his winter jacket anyways. With a groan, he pulls on the first pair of jeans and slips a t-shirt over his head, and hurries out the door.

At the breakfast table, Yoko has prepared tamagoyaki, miso soup, rice, and pickled plums. With vigour Yuuya shovels the food into his mouth, cleaning off each of the four dishes. From the kitchen Yoko watches him with a wry smile.

“If you’re not careful, you’ll choke.”

“I just …” Yuuya slurps down the last of his soup. “I don’t want to be late, Mama. I’m going to pick up Akaba today –”

“Her mother said she’ll be able to come though, and it’s quite early in the morning. You’re in no rush; the day is still young.” With a sigh, she comes round to stand over him and knead his tired shoulders. “I think I’ll have tea with Akaba-san today too, get to know her a bit more. She’s not a neighbour, but our children are now friends. It’ll be nice to chat with another parent.”

Yuuya holds his tongue. Yoko has _nothing_ in common with Himika and he’d much rather she not associate with that abusive lady; however, Yoko is strong-willed and stubborn. Even if she does know that Himika abuses Reira, Yoko is still willing to chat with her. Yuuya will never associate with Himika. After what she’s done to Reira, Yuuya will _never_ trust her.

“All right, Mama. But” – he stretches up to kiss her on the cheek – “I want to meet Reira early. I want to spend all day with him.”

Yuuya drinks the rest of the milk in his glass. He hurries to stack his dishes at the counter, and then heads to the genkan to slip on his jacket and boots. His mother comes round to tie a green scarf round his neck, fastening it below his chin. “Reira has a scarf too, so you’ll both be matching. Won’t that be sweet?”

“That’s kinda embarrassing, Mama,” Yuuya says. He hugs her one more time before heading out the door with a ‘Goodbye!’ At this hour, the sun has just begun peeking over the mountains. What sun is visible sparkles on the snow. It’s perhaps the best day of the week, and with a spring in his step Yuuya heads down the pathway towards Reira’s house. He crosses through the park so he can look at the lone tree standing off from the rest.

_I won’t leave you alone, Akaba._

As usual, Reira’s house looks abandoned. The lights are all off and the shutters are closed, and there are no signs of life. With a shiver, Yuuya climbs the concrete steps up to the front and knocks twice. He presses his ear to the wood to hear if anyone is inside, and when he hears approaching footsteps he jumps back.

Reira opens the door, dressed in simple, black dress that reaches just above her knees. There’s nothing special about it, but Yuuya can tell he’s dressed up.

“You look pretty today!” he blurts out, clapping a hand over his mouth afterwards. “I – I mean –”

He laughs at him, the smallest of smiles on his lips. With the door still open, Reira pulls on his boots and peacoat, and then wraps the scarf twice around his pale neck. Yuuya peers through the house to see if he can spot Himika anywhere, but all the lights are turned off and the only sound he hears is of their breathing. Once ready, Reira steps through the door without saying goodbye and closes it behind her.

Yuuya hovers for a moment after, unsure how to proceed. Should he greet her, hold her hand …?

“We’re going to the science centre today, right? I’m … excited.”

Yuuya takes Reira’s hand and leads him down the stone steps. “Me too! I bet it’s the same as the last time I went, but there’s so many things I just love about there. I’ll show you all my favourite exhibits, OK?”

They travel through quiet, snow-dusted roads that swerve between Heartland’s newer buildings. Nothing is too tall – this is still a suburb of Heartland, not the major city – but among the landscape Yuuya still feels like an ant. They walk away from the school and towards the edge of town, where the buildings become closer together and small shopping districts appear.

At the end of a road, the science centre is the largest building there by far. There are train tracks jutting out of one side of the building where the locomotive is. The roof of this building isn’t flat; instead it justs up and down with several differently-sized caps, as if there are perhaps crawl-spaces in the ceiling. Some of the walls have large mirrors, and others are empty. Overall, the building looks inconsistent and bizarre. It’s why Yuuya loves it so much.

He takes Reira through the entrance and to the front counter, where they pay for their tickets and continue on through a hallway. The building is immaculately decorated with wooden accent and vaulted ceilings, and anywhere Yuuya looks there is _something_ that catches his eye. This place never feels overwhelming or crowded, but there’s something to admire from any point in the the building.

For the first bit of the trip, Reira remains quiet. Yuuya checks back on him from time to time. There are no injuries on Reira’s face, and he doesn’t appear to any pain. At least for the time being, Reira is safe from physical abuse. It still scares Yuuya to think of what could have happened to Reira last night, or even the many, many times before that Reira has gone home for the weekend and missed classes on Mondays.

When they get into the animal section of the centre, Yuuya tugs Reira up to a taxidermied bear standing up on its two back paws. Yuuya can gaze into the maw of the bear and count the polished teeth, or stare into the black, beady eyes of the beast. Yuuya likes this animal because in tours of the science centre none of his classmates were interested in standing around a bear, and instead chose to stare at the great birds or tigers.

Like Yuuya, the bear existed on the outside of the taxidermied animal friend group.

“This guy is my friend,” Yuuya tells Reira.

He receives a dumbfounded look. “Are you stupid?” For such a shy, reserved kid, it’s the one phrase that shocks Yuuya back into reality.

As they walk through the science centre, they get warmer and slip off their heavy, winter jackets. The animal centre turns into an exhibit on prehistoric civilisations, showing what materials early humans used to survive. The further they get into the centre, the more interested Yuuya becomes. Just him and Reira, alone in the science centre together. He wants to reach out and hold her hand again.

_This really does feel like a date._

“Hey, Sakaki. Isn’t it kinda strange that … no one’s here.” Her words take on a soft tone at the end, almost as if she regrets saying them the moment they are out.

“Well, I guess. Maybe. It’s a Saturday, so there should be more people. But still …” Yuuya clicks his feet back and forth on the linoleum, listening to his steps echo down the hallways. “Isn’t it also kinda cool to feel like we’re the only ones here? Almost like we snuck in and no adults know. It’s just the two of us, all alone in here. And if someone comes, we could hide and they’d never suspect two kids were here.”

Reira doesn’t say anything to this, but somehow Yuuya just knows that she wants to say ‘Are you stupid?’ again.

As they leave the prehistoric exhibit, the path veers off into two directions. Yuuya spots the planetarium out of the corner of his eye, and he hurries forward. He hears Reira’s footsteps behind him. On the sign are showtimes to the planetarium, one of Yuuya’s favourite parts of the exhibit.

“Want to go see a show?”

“We just saw stars though,” Reira says. He slips by him, hands clamped around his wet jacket. “Let’s look at something else.”

Thankfully, the path to the planetarium leads further into another exhibit connected by a hallway of windows. Outside, Yuuya can see lush, verdant gardens of tropical plants. The ceiling above extends and becomes a greenhouse roof that shields the exotic plants from heavy storms. Through the window, Yuuya can see vividly green, orange, and pink flowers growing in the soil.

Reira steps ahead of him to look further down in the greenhouse, to where several thorny plants are buried in pots. They stand a ways away from the clumps of flowers and ferns in the soil, as if these prickly plants cannot even exist on the same land as the dainty flowers. When he sees Yuuya, Reira turns and smiles.

A sense of deja vu encompasses Yuuya, and he hears the words before they leave Reira’s mouth.

_“Thank you for inviting me today. Did you know I liked this place too?”_

And Yuuya can only swallow in fear. He’s repeating the same timeline as before. He hasn’t changed the future, which means he’s making the same mistakes, which means he isn’t going to save Reira. Time hasn’t changed enough. Through his t-shirt Yuuya can feel his heart thrum in his chest and his palms grow sticky with sweat. Whatever he’s done, it’s not enough. He needs to do more, work harder, but he only has today left to save Reira, which means –

“A manga artist wannabe … wanted to visit places like this?” Reira’s voice cuts through the room like a hot knife. He spins around, purple hair curling around the black dress, and says, “Is this even interested to you, or do you just not like people?”

“I do!” Yuuya says, raising his hands in defence. “Just …” Yuuya realises he’s repeating the same conversation now. Next Reira will start walking away and he’ll follow her into the next room, and they’ll drop this conversation, and –

The last time this scene happened, he wasn’t Reira’s friend. He just happened to meet her at the science centre, and it was just before she was killed. She must’ve snuck out of her house to walk around here, as it was that same Saturday. However, things are very different now. He’s friends with Reira, no longer a stranger to him in class, and they’re on a ‘date’ together.

_I need to change the future._

_I … have changed the future._

_I won’t let Reira be alone. We’ll be together on this day._

Yuuya holds out his hands, palms up to the vaulted ceilings and says, “Here, give me your coat. I’ll hold it for you.” It isn’t much, but by this point Yuuya is too scared to think of anything else. He’s done so much leading up to these last few days, but … will it be enough? Can Yuuya really change so much that he can keep Reira alive for _eighteen fucking years, he’s doomed, he can’t save her, how is he supposed to predict her life in the future when she was gone, gone_ gone –

“When I’m here … I somehow feel relaxed.”

Yuuya doesn’t feel relaxed anymore. As time passes on, Yuuya’s mind drifts further and further away from Reira’s. The coat in his hands feels like a weight dragging him down, down, down through time itself. Time swallows him into an eternal hell he’ll never escape from.

Reira reaches for his hand, snaking under the heavy coat to grab at his fingers. It’s a subtle gesture – they’ve held hands before – but this time represents all the times before where Yuuya’s made an impression on Reira.

 _No,_ he tells himself, _I have changed the future. Past me didn’t have many friends and didn’t do anything until Yuuri died, and even then I just blamed myself. This me … this me challenged the future. This me changed the reality within the dimensions and ensured that Akaba wasn’t alone, that Akaba never went missing. And even though on this day I saw Akaba too, on the day before she went missing, this time is different. Because in this timeline I’m at the science centre_ with _him, as friends, and we’re holding hands. Akaba is talking with me, enjoying her time outside of her abusive household._

_I made a difference in her life today. Today, Akaba is not alone._

This is the first time Yuuya has visited the science centre with a friend.

_I’m glad I had hope and took the courage coming here –_

“I’m glad I had hope and took the courage coming here today … with you.” Reira says it with a smile, looking at him, holding his hand. She doesn’t blink, and while she does pause, her words don’t drift away in the breeze. Her voice is steady, _strong;_ she’s confident in herself.

“Me too,” Yuuya says.

At that moment there’s a mumble of voices behind them and a rumble of feet on linoleum. They are no longer alone in the science centre. Over his shoulder, Yuuya spots a familiar pom-pom hat, and he hears a loud voice that reverberates around the hallways. “See, I told you they’d still be here. Yuuya’s a nerd who loves sciency stuff like this.” That would be Yuugo, grinning ear to ear with a large lollipop in his hand. To his side, Yuuto and Yuuri hold similar lollies.

“I finished my work early,” Yuuto says with a wave, “so I thought I’d check up on you. Yuugo wanted to see you too –”

“And we had to rope Yuuri in as well!” Yuugo adds.

With a sniff, Yuuri says, “I came on my own volition.”

 _See,_ Yuuya tells himself, _it changed. I changed. I made a difference._

Yuuri’s eyes drift down to the jacket in Yuuya’s hands, and he chuckles behind a hand. “Wow Yuuya, what a gentleman you are holding Akaba’s jacket like that.”

Yuuya blushes but doesn’t thrust the jacket back into Reira’s arms. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Reira’s red cheeks, but his timid smile is also there. In this timeline, Reira enjoys the company of Yuuya’s friends. In a way, they’ve become Reira’s friends too.

 _That’s right,_ Yuuya says. _Akaba has friends. He won’t be alone anymore. He won’t be missing._

_And in two days, she will still be alive. I’ll make sure we both see our birthdays, and live our futures together._

* * *

 On Monday morning, Yuuya sits in his seat nervously twiddling his thumbs. After the fun day with Reira on Saturday, Yuuya then spent all Sunday worrying about Reira’s health. Yoko told him he’d get grey hairs if he kept worrying, and that she had a talk with Himika that same day. Reira will be fine, his mother had said. Her mother cares about her appearance.

Yuuya isn’t sure though. Reira either comes late or not at all on Mondays. Himika beats her on Saturdays and cleans up her abuse on Sundays. By Mondays though, Reira’s face is often too damaged for her to come to class without raising suspicions. And if Reira was out with him all day on Saturday, Himika might’ve beat Reira on _Sunday,_ meaning …

A pit settles in Yuuya’s throat, and he swallows against the dryness and pain. Whatever happened on Sunday is a mystery to him. He wants to believe Yoko, a reporter with a keen eye for secrets, but Yuuya also knows Himika keeps the abuse away from anyone.

Each time the door slides open, Yuuya jumps and turns towards it. Each time though, it’s another classmate with a bright smile.

Yuuya doesn’t even realise Reira has stepped through the doorway then until she’s walking past his desk. She runs her fingers along his desk, face clean and bright. His long hair is brushed neatly down his back, and his uniform is clean and pressed. There isn’t a sign of physical abuse anywhere on Reira, and he’s smiling … at Yuuya.

“Good morning, Sakaki.”

“Oh,” Yuuya says, jumping from his seat as his eyes focus on the sight before him. “Good morning, Akaba.” Yuuya’s eyes settle once more on Reira’s face. Her cheeks are even glowing. “ _You look nice today.”_

Reira’s eyes widen and her cheeks burn. With a gasp and a blink, Yuuya realises he’s said those words aloud for his entire fifth-grade class to hear. It doesn’t help, naturally, that the biggest chatterbox behind him, Yuugo, overhears this detail, and then proceeds to fling himself forward over his desk to exclaim, “Nice? Don’t you mean pretty?”

Naturally, this causes an uproar.

“Nice one, Sakaki!”

“Are you two getting married?”

“Dummy, you have to get _engaged_ first before you marry someone! Sakaki hasn’t even bought Akaba a ring yet!”

“You’re so bold!”

“Sakkachin and Reirin are getting married!”

The pet names are what irk Yuuya, but before even he can get a word in Mr Heartland claps his hands once, twice, thrice, and the class settles down. “Everyone, homeroom is starting. Please take your seats and hold your tongues until break time.”

Yuuya takes his seat with a determined look forward – not at the blackboard though, but at Reira’s seat, not empty for the first time in as long as Yuuya can remember being in his class.

_It’s the day before Akaba became the first victim in a serial kidnapping case. I’ll change this future. Tomorrow, I’ll spend all day hanging out with him, never letting her out of my sight for even a moment. She won’t disappear from this dimension. And then tomorrow we’ll have our birthdays together and celebrate a year together, and the many more years to come. Reira won’t be alone on his birthday either._

_And then …_ Yuuya smiles. _And then the dimension will no longer be missing an important person. I’ll keep seeing Akaba in my life and in my days at school. I’ll take care of him and Mr Heartland will take Akaba away from his mother, and in the end everything will be OK._

_And best of all, by saving Akaba, I can save everyone else too. Yuuri and Rin, they’ll be alive to. And Mom … my Mama. We’ll all be alive and together, and the dimensions won’t be missing any of us. Together, we’ll stay safe. Together, we are strong._

Class zips by at the blink of an eye, and all too soon Yuugo is shaking the back of his chair and saying, “Yuuya, we should go to the science centre again! You have the money, treat us!”

Yuuya laughs and shakes his head. “Actually, I … have a favour to ask someone.” He gets up from his seat and heads to Yuuri’s desk. His friend doesn’t look up until all his books are packed up in his bag, and then he just stares at Yuuya.

“What.”

Yuuya folds his hands together and smiles. “Yuuri, I have a favour to ask you. Uh, one second.” He turns around and calls out, “Akaba, come here for a second.” Reira turns around at once at the words and comes to stand next to him, sporting the same confused expression as Yuuri. “Uh, Akaba, I can’t walk you home today, but … Yuuri, I have a favour to ask you – as a friend.”

“You owe me money. My services aren’t free.”

“I just need you to take Akaba to the children’s centre after school. I’ll come meet you there. I just have … an errand to do first. Yeah! And I promise to pay you, Yuuri, or I’ll even buy you a treat.” He claps his hands together and bows his head. “Please, Yuuri! I need some help.”

Ever the tease, Yuuri holds his tongue for a moment before he concedes. “Fine, I’ll take Akaba. Come on.” Ever the gentleman, Yuuri walks off and leaves Reira hovering by his desk.

Gently, Yuuya rests a hand on Reira’s back and gives him a push off towards the door.

“I’ll see you later, for sure.”

“See you, Sakaki.” And Reira smiles for him, a smile that Yuuya will remember for years to come.

Once Reira is safely on his way to the children’s centre with Yuuri, Yuuya takes his own backpack and treks out of the classroom, down the elevator, and to the locker bay. He hurries to put on his shoes and winter gear, and in record time he’s outside and running through the gate. He runs as far as he can through Heartland, away from his and Reira’s house. He runs down a familiar busy path towards the heart of the city, only veering off towards the end when he spots the glimmer of the Heartland River.

As a small river, it isn’t all that impressive. It’s not frozen though, and the dark waters churn on the edges of either side of the bay. At one end, Yuuya can see familiar landmarks where, if he squints through the snow to edge of the bay, he can see the outline of the secret base. And, directly ahead of him and sitting on the edge of the river, is Hope. He’s as dorky and eccentric as Yuuya remembers, a kid with wild hair and bright eyes and even brighter clothes that clash with the innocent snow. In his hands he has a deck of duel monsters cards that he shuffles with some skill.

_Hope._

_If I solve the serial kidnappings case and protect Reira, I’ll save Hope too._


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 10k, oh gosh this was a big chapter that i really didn't want to split up. let me know if this doesn't work for you though, and i'll consider breaking up any future big ones like this (:

Yuuma’s room is messy. 

He lives on the top floor of a house with many levels. When Yuuya went up the first flight of stairs, he entered a room where clothes were on the floors, drinks on the table, and  _ stuff  _ anywhere he stepped. Yuuma doesn’t keep anything organised or in its proper place, and it shows when he nearly loses his balance crossing the room. It is a room though …

And then Yuuma points to a rope hanging through a hole in the ceiling. There are knots that make footholds that Yuuma uses to scale up the rope and climb into the next floor. Yuuya stands at the bottom and looks up into the dark hole in the ceiling. There is an eerie glow, perhaps from a candle or a window, that creates just enough light that Yuuya can see where the rope is attached to the other side of the hole. Considering that Yuuma just scaled up it without falling, Yuuya thinks he can manage as well.

“Come on, come on!” Yuuma says after him. “This is my  _ real  _ room.”

Yuuya takes the rope in his hands and steps up onto the first knot. With his feet hugging either side of the rope, he takes slow, steady steps upwards. Unfortunately, the rope bends with each of his movements and it makes it hard, but he’s climbed to the secret base before. Once he gets the rhythm, it’s not as hard as it looks, and Yuuya ascends into the second bedroom. Here, the only lights pours from a big, open window. Directly before it is a hammock hanging between a large post and several boxes. To add to the clutter of this room are even more open or closed crates, stacked one atop the other to create towers. Then there are decorations not in boxes, such as mirrors, statues, ornaments – there are more things crammed into this room.

Since there is no table here, Yuuma’s dueling cards are spread along the boxes in stacks, probably organised. In fact, this room is the epitome of organised chaos. Yuuya looks around and feels at home among the clutter. 

With no table and chairs, Yuuma taps the ground so that Yuuya can sit with him. Yuuya takes a seat, crossing his legs.

“You’ve made friends, haven’t you?” Yuuma says. “I know because sometimes I see you across the river, and you’re not alone any more.”

Yuuya nods, cheeks darkening. Yuuma always cuts right to the chase. “Yep, I’ve made friends at school. I’m going to have a birthday party, actually.” Looking down at his hands, he adds, “And it’s all thanks to you, Hope.”

His words make Yuuma lean forward, shaking his head with quick back-and-forth motions. “Not all thanks to me, but I don’t mind the praise. I told you, and I quote, ‘Have hope and take a step forward with courage.’ You did just that, and it paid off. Give credit where credit is due, but don’t sell yourself short.” 

Yuuma words do make sense in Yuuya’s mind, but Yuuya still believes that, without Yuuma’s help, he would have never become friends with Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri. Before that, Yuuya didn’t even know how to smile or how to make friends, and he was struggling with both. The more he’s smiled though, the easier it’s become. He’s made friends through being more honest with them. 

“I guess,” Yuuya says with a laugh. “You helped me, and I took your advice seriously.”

“It’s like …” Yuuma holds his hands out, palms up as if he’s holding two weights in his hands. “Think of this as two people. When you want to get to know someone, you’ve gotta make a connection. You’re not going to know everything about them right away, but that doesn’t mean you  _ can’t.  _ If you listen to them and be honest with them, you’ll get closer.” He claps his hands together with a chuckle. “And if deep in someone’s heart they know you care about them, I think they’ll in turn care about you too.”

It sounds like a nice relationship, Yuuya thinks. He cares deeply about his friends and family, and … they care about him. His school friends are coming to his birthday party.  _ Reira  _ is coming to his birthday party, a miracle all on its own. Yoko has taken care of him right from the beginning, listening to him, helping him, even simply being there for him when he need her. 

Yuuma is the same way. He’s been there for Yuuya many, many times too. It makes Yuuya angry to think that anyone could blame Yuuma for the deaths of three children when in fact Yuuma has only been helping lonely children make friends. To frame him … It makes Yuuya’s blood boil.

As a child in the past, Yuuya knew very little of Yuuma. He was always sitting on the hill after school playing with trading cards, and a nosey, traitorous part of Yuuya’s mind wondered if Yuuma didn’t have a good education or job, and that’s why he wasn’t at work. He never saw Yuuma with friends his own age either; he was always sitting with a lonely elementary school kid. Now though, Yuuya has more knowledge. Yuuma works at his family’s shop. He works early morning hours, getting up well before the sun peaks, and thus he has afternoons off. 

In the past, Yuuya thought Yuuma spoke funny and acted a bit immature for his age, regardless of how well-meaning he was. Today though, as an adult returning to this time, Yuuya looks at Yuuma with a fond smile. He can hear Yuuma’s underlying accent from growing up in the countryside. His casual tone is soothing to Yuuya, and he forgets that he’s talking to an adult. Around Yuuma, he feels comfortable sharing his concerns. 

_ Did you have the impression that he was a “nice guy”?  _

Yuuya swallows. Yuuma is the most honest person he has ever met, more so than even him. There isn’t much that Yuuya can imagine Yuuma hides from anyone because he seems so personable and friendly. In a way, he’s relatable because he seems to “get” people. Yuuya wishes he had the same ability. It would have helped him when he was befriending Reira.

Sitting low on the floor, Yuuya snatches several glances around the room. Most of the boxes are open and brimming with clothes, dusty artefacts, and old merchandise. There are more clothes draped along the higher crates, and blankets tossed to the ground to create little sleeping nests. Tucked between the boxes are several books, their spines facing outwards, and …

Innocent Lo-Ve.

Lolita.

Two Little Magicians One Pot of –

By this point, Yuuma’s eyes have tracked where his are looking at, and he too spots the sensitive books tucked between the crates. With a gasp, Yuuma leaps to him feet, snatches the first blanket he can find that’s hanging over the boxes, and throws it over the books so they are invisible to Yuuya. Yuuma doesn't turn around for several seconds after, hands fiddling with keeping the blanket upright. When he does turn, his face is beet-red.

“You didn’t see that, right?” he says.

“No –”

“Good. Those aren’t mine. Someone … gave those to me, said all boys should be reading that. I don’t wanna read it, but I don’t wanna throw away their gift, and if someone found those books in my garbage.” His whole body quivers. “You saw nothing, got it?”

“Right,” Yuuya says with a firm head nod. Those books – Yuuma wouldn’t be reading such erotic literature. However, a sinking feeling creeps into Yuuya’s mind. When Yuuma was later arrested for the suspected kidnappings, did the police find those books? How did Yuuma even get them? Did the killer plant those on Yuuma, knowing that he wouldn’t throw them away out of the goodness of his naive heart? 

_ Did he ask you to “say this” or “do that”?  _ The police had asked him that question in the future.

_ Never,  _ thinks Yuuya.

“You shouldn’t keep those books if you don’t like them though,” Yuuya says. “Sorry for bringing it up again, but …”

Yuuma waves him off. “It’s fine, I understand. You’re right, in fact.” He blushes to the roots of his hair, red feelers sticking out from his forehead. 

When they lapse into uneasy silence, Yuuya decides it’s time to go. He’s gotten to meet with Yuuma in this timeline, and he knows what he has to do. With a quick bow, Yuuya says, “Thank you for having me over, Hope. I’ve got to head home now.”

“Already? We could play a match of duel monsters.”

“I do, sorry. Maybe I’ll see you again though!”

Yuuma laughs at that, and hops to his feet to lead Yuuya down the rope ladder and out of his room. “Yeah,” he jokes, “if you aren’t too busy with all those new friends of yours.” As they descend to the main level, Yuuma leans back against the wall while Yuuya slips on his shoes. Through the doorway Yuuya can hear Yuuma’s family cooking in the room opposite, still hard at work. 

“Yuuya?”

He looks up. “Yeah, Hope?”

“I’m proud of you.”

“You’re proud of –” Yuuya’s cheeks burn, and now with his shoes on he stumbles back. “What? Why?”

“I just am,” Yuuma says, hands in his pockets. “You’re different now, more confident and courageous. You’re talking about hanging out with your friends, and I don’t see you by yourself anymore. It’s … like you’re a new person, Yuuya. You’ve grown up so much.”

His mouth feels dry. Yuuya is at lost for words, stumbling over syllables as he tries to convey how he feels to Yuuma. “I … thank you, Hope. It must be because I’ve made friends.” Standing at the door, Yuuya throws up a hand. “Have a good day, and thank you for having me! You’re … really kind, Hope.”

Now he’s got Yuuma blushing and waving off his praise. “Don’t mention it! See you!”

Yuuya slips out the door with a skip in his step all the way to the end of the driveway. He spins on his heels and looks back at the Tsukumo household. It’s cheery and bright, just like Yuuma’s soul. How anyone could think to frame such a selfless, well meaning man is beyond Yuuya. 

_ Don’t worry, Hope. You won’t be framed for this. I’ll catch the real criminal. And, most importantly, there will be no case. No deaths, no disappearances. I’ll save everyone and stop these horrible events from happening. _

Realising that he’s dawdling at the edge of the Tsukumo property, Yuuya rushes back past the school. He promised Yuuri that he’d meet him and Reira at the children’s centre, and he doesn’t need to owe Yuuri more than he already does. All around him though, Yuuya can’t help but spot the beauty of his hometown. The snow makes the world seem new and innocent, and it lulls any noise to a placid whisper. Before him is an untouched palace, a dream that has yet to rot. Yuuya holds his hands out to catch the snowflakes clumping on his jacket.

For the entire walk back, Yuuya doesn’t stop dreaming about this childhood that he’s forgotten. How can he not remember the snowy days spent outside with his friends? How can he not remember trips to the science centre or to the park? How come so much of his childhood disappeared? Now, Yuuya wants to hold every memory close to his heart. In two more days, he’ll be living in a new reality.

The children’s centre is thankfully close to the school, so Yuuma only has to travel a few blocks more once he spots Heartland Elementary. The building is nestled between shops, but he can head right up the stairs to one of the rooms. Like a library, this centre is one of the few free places Yuuya can visit. He used to dream of spending time here with his friends, but up until this year he never had anyone to go with.

Now though, Yuuya has friends. He pulls open the only closed door and peeks inside. There are puzzles and books lined up on one of the walls. Beanbags act as chairs in the reading corner. The centrepiece of the room though is the table that stretches from one side to the other, and dotted with spaces to sit. On two of the chairs and sitting opposite each other are Reira and Yuuri, bent over what appears to be a game of checkers. Reira looks up at once when he enters, but Yuuri’s head remains down, chin pressed to the surface.

“Sorry I’m late!” Yuuya says. “I ran as fast as I could.”

“You didn’t run,” Yuuri says. “Your chest isn’t heaving.”

“Well then I  _ moved  _ as fast as I could.” He drops his backpack to the ground and heads to the table. The checkers game is mostly complete, and by the looks of it whoever is playing black has decimated their opponent. Black is … Reira. She doesn’t say much besides nod her head in a careful smile. Yuuri doesn’t say a word, still glaring at the board.

Yuuya leans over the board. “Looks like red is going to lose –”

“I haven’t lost yet!” Yuuri’s hands hit the table. “I’m just … thinking of a move. Damn, Akaba’s good. He says he’s never played before, but then he wiped the floor with me twice.” A glance up, where Yuuri’s eyes narrow. “Are you cheating perhaps, Akaba?”

Reira shakes her head, and Yuuya growls, “Maybe he’s just better than you, Yuuri. It’s OK if you’re not the best at checkers because I know you’re better at chess.”

Two moves later, Reira wins with close to half of her chips. Yuuri stares at the board, eye twitching, before he stands and says, “I’ve gotta get going. You two clean up and head out.” Before Yuuya can argue with him, Yuuri snatches up his backpack and slams the door closed behind him.

“Sore loser,” Yuuya mutters to his back. Then, shrugging sheepishly to Reira, he says, “Well, I guess we better clean this up for the next person. I hope you had fun here today; I’ve always wanted to come to a place like this.” He picks up the chips and rolls them in his hands. When he sets them in the bottom, they clatter together. “This place is best to go to when you’ve got someone else to play with. I’ve always wanted to take my friends here –”

“Why am I here?”

Yuuya blinks. “Why?”

Reira nods. “You told your friend to take me here. Why?”

“Because I thought it would be fun for you. When we walk home together, we always hang out, and so that way you don’t have to be at that park all by yourself. Since I had something to do today, I thought Yuuri might want to play with you. He’s fun once you get to know him, even if he’s a bit of a sore loser.” Wringing his hands together, Yuuya says, “And now we still get to walk home together, Akaba.”

Reira’s cheeks grow hot at his words. He diverts his attention to putting on the lid to the checkers game, and then returning the box to the shelf along the room. When he returns, the blush is gone. 

The butterflies in Yuuya’s stomach have not.

“Ready to go?”

He takes Reira’s hand and leads her out of the children’s centre, past walls decorated with paintings and warm lights shining down on a tiled floor. Any walk with Reira feels a bit warmer and brighter. Even outside of the building, the city sparkles. They walk down the dusty sidewalks, kicking fresh snow with their shoes.

“I like walking home with you, Akaba. That’s why I came to walk home with you today. I wouldn’t want to miss this for any day, and … I want to keep walking home with you. Will you too keep walking with me?”

Yuuya looks up, expecting to have Reira blushing or smiling, but instead all she’s doing is raising one eyebrow at him. “You sometimes have some strange things to say, Sakaki.”

“Do I now?” Yuuya says with a laugh. “Well, since I blurted that out, that means I’ll come pick you up for school tomorrow. We’ll walk to school together too, and walk home, and …” Yuuya thinks about the birthday party, about saving Reira’s life. “Let’s have a good day tomorrow, OK?”

“Sure.” Reira isn’t looking at him though, eyes staring straight ahead of them. Coming down the road is Himika, no groceries in her hands or anything that might say she wasn’t out looking for her child. Her eyes are hard, face stiff; she’s bundled up in a long, dark trenchcoat that fastens high on her neck. Instinctively, Yuuya reaches out for Reira’s hands, ready to pull her back. However, Reira brings her hands to her chest. “I should go.”

“I can walk –”

“I’ll be fine.”

Yuuya nods. With a bow to Himika, Yuuya mutters, “Hello, Akaba-san.” When he straightens up, he looks straight at Reira. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow, for sure! Wait for me!”

Reira raises a hand to him, the faintest of a smile on her lips. “I will.”

Yuuya turns around and runs back as fast as he can. Every part of him screams to look at Reira one more time, check to see if she’s OK, but he holds himself steady and hurries back to his house. Reira isn’t suspected to die until tomorrow, the day before her birthday. Yuuya won’t have to worry about anything happening to her. She will be fine and in class tomorrow, and Yuuya already knows what to do by that point.

When Yuuya gets home, the sun is a sliver of light over the dark mountains. He toes off his shoes in his dark house and grabs a snack off the table. He doesn’t have much time to do anything, not even sleep; in fact, he’s so nervous about tomorrow that he doesn’t want to sleep. Seated at the table, his legs bounce up and down. 

_ Be calm,  _ Yuuya tells himself.  _ You’ll be OK. Reira will be safe. _

He doesn’t feel that way though. What if this is a different timeline? What if too much has already changed and Reira … 

No, Reira will be in class tomorrow. He’ll go to Reira’s house and pick her up, and they’ll spend the day together. They’ll have the birthday party too, a big celebration with all the friends Yuuya has made. Tomorrow will be a perfect day, and there won’t be a single opportunity for Reira to go missing.

A hand rests on his shoulder, kneading the anxious muscles there. “You look deep in thought. Why don’t you come to bed now and let those thoughts turn into pleasant dreams?”

Yuuya leans against Yoko, head against her warm stomach. With a tired moan, he rises up on his jellied legs. She leads him into the bedroom without once moving her arm from around his shoulders. The lights are all off and the futon is set up. Yuuya stumbles to his bed and face-plants into the soft sheets, feeling like he could just pass out then and there. Thankfully, Yoko is at his side to tuck him in and plant a kiss to his cheek.

“Have a good sleep, Yuuya.”

Out of the corner of his mouth, Yuuya smiles at her. “G’night, Mama.”

She sleeps next to him all night, a comforting presence when Yuuya wakes up every hour, afraid he’ll sleep straight through the important day. Through a sliver in the window he watches the moon appear, but he has to be awake well before the sun peeks over the mountains. In the cold, wee hours of the morning, Yuuya creeps out of the bedroom. Because of his late day yesterday, he hasn’t changed out of his school clothes. That doesn't matter though; it’s better because then all he has to is grab the leftovers from the fridge for a snack, and sneak out the front door.

He doesn’t hear his mother stir.

Yuuya walks along the sidewalks by moonlight. His entire body is tense with anticipation. Today is the day he saves Reira. He won’t leave her alone for a minute. Someone will be with her every step of the way, and no one will have a chance to hurt her.

When Yuuya gets to Reira’s driveway, he takes a deep breath. Not a single light is on, but he knows Reira will be awake.

_ You can do this.  _

Yuuya heads up the concrete steps, feet clunking to the beat of his anxious heart. At the door, he rests a hand against the solid wood. Reira is in there; he knows it.

_ Knock. Knock. _

Yuuya holds his breath until he hears the lock click open, and through the small slit in the doorway Himika’s eye stares back. She doesn’t say anything, but her lips curl at him. After a moment, she undoes the chain on the door and opens in fully. Behind her, Reira stands, dressed for school in her black peacoat and long, red scarf. Himika doesn’t say a word to either of them. As soon as Reira is through the doorway, Yuuya reaches out and takes her hands, and stares at Himika defiantly.

_ You can’t have her today. _

Then Yuuya takes Reira back down the stairs, never letting go of her hand. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Reira watching him, smiling softly.

“Today’s feels like a good day. I hope we have lots of fun together.”

It makes Reira’s smile widen just a bit more. She looks behind her at her silent, grey house covered in heavy snow. “Yeah, I hope so too.”

All throughout the walk Yuuya doesn’t let go of Reira’s hand, even when they get to the entrance of Heartland Academy. Since neither of them are late today, dozens of other students are heading indoors too. There are already several tall snowmen on the lawn from students playing in the morning, and the skating rink is still open too. From behind him Yuuya hears several whispers of ‘Wow, Sakaki is so bold!’ and it only makes him hold Reira’s hand tighter.

Eighteen years ago, circumstances were different. Yuuya wasn’t friends with Reira and he didn’t care for him like he’s doing now. Back then, Reira was by himself at the park and on the outskirts of every friendship circle. His disappearance wasn’t shocking until it hit the news that he was murdered. 

Now though, time has changed. Yuuya is with Reira at all times during the walks to and from school, and he stays with her while at class. Reira has friends that love and care about him, and while his home life hasn’t improved, Yuuya knows that as soon as he can get Reira past this day he’ll work with Mr. Heartland to get Reira out of her abusive household. Reira won’t be in pain anymore. 

Reira will live through today.

All day Yuuya talks to Reira eagerly about the party. Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri share their excitement too, talking at length about the kinds of games they should play or the food they should eat.

“You’ll be there too, right, Akaba?” Yuuri asks.

Reira nods.

“I bet that’s the first birthday party you’ve ever gone to!” Yuugo says. 

_ That’s blunt, Yuugo!  _ Yuuya thinks, eyeing his friend. Yuugo is far too much like Yoko.

However, Reira doesn’t react. “I … guess so.”

When class is done, Yuuya nearly tumbles out of his seat to get to Reira. “I really want to go to the children’s centre today, even for a bit. I … guess I feel bad that I missed out yesterday, so why don’t we go again too?” It’s another way to keep Reira out of the house for as long as possible. In the police reports, Yuuya remembers that in the past Reira went missing at the park around six pm. If he can stay with Reira until that time, she’ll be safe.

Reira looks to the side though, eyes downcast. “Why do you want to spend so much time with me, Sakaki? I should probably go home …”

“You’re important to me, Akaba, and I like hanging out with you. It’ll be just the two of us this time.” He helps Reira gather up his books and slip them into his knapsack. “Yuuri even said you’re really good at checkers, so I wonder if you can beat me too.”

Something clicks in Reira then. “Just for a bit, and then I have to go.”

Yuuya has no intention of this being a short visit though. He dawdles on the walk there, pointing out snow sculptures in parks and cutesy shops along the path. When they get to the children’s centre, knocking snow from their boots, Yuuya makes sure to take as long as possible deciding on a game, and in the end he picks out several board games to play. At first, Reira seems to push him away, perhaps unsure at what he’s getting at. However, after an hour she falls into rhythm with him and joins in more happily.

“You’re really good at checkers, aren’t you?”

Reira nods.

“Well, so am I.” Yuuya pulls out the board and sets it on the table. He thumbs two pieces, one black and one red. “What colour?”

“Black.”

Yuuya flicks the piece over to him, and then pushes the rest of the pile towards Reira. They set up their pieces on either side of the checkerboard. Then, once they are ready, Yuuya leans close and says, “I’m good at this game too. Best of luck, Akaba.”

Not ten minutes later, Reira wins. 

Yuuya sags down against the table, moaning about his fate. “How come you’re so good at this game, Akaba? Did you train with professionals or something?”

A smile flitters on her lips. “It’s not too hard once you get the hang of it,” she explains. “But …” Behind her is the clock, resting at six twenty-five pm. It’s well past Reira’s presumed kidnapping time. Yuuya’s been watching it since they got here, his eyes always looking just above Reira’s head to the clock. It’s like a countdown to the new reality, a dimension where Reira is alive and happy.

“I need to go, Sakaki.”

Yuuya nods. “Sure, let’s pack up the games. I’ll walk you home too.”

Reira raises an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because I like being with you.” He leaves it at that. Yuuya and Reira put away the board games and close up the room. The children’s centre is quiet at this hour, with only a few students sitting in the cosy lobby with books. Yuuya and Reira bundle themselves up tightly before returning to the wintery weather. The streets are dark now, illuminated by hazy lights hanging overhead. 

On the walk home, Yuuya thinks back to this day eighteen years ago. Back then, Reira was at the park by herself until she was kidnapped. No one was nearby, and no one saw her go missing. At the same time, Yuuya was at the secret base looking for his AWOL gloves, which he still didn’t find. He didn’t know – and didn’t even care – about where Reira was at that time. 

And Hope … Hope was sitting on the river bank late at night, shuffling his duel monster cards while looking up at the stairs. When Yuuya came out of the secret base, he remembers seeing Yuuma there.

Afterwards, he had to testify to the police about Reira’s disappearance and for Yuuma’s discharge. The police thought it was him because he was alone, by himself, with no alibi. 

_ I should have talked to him that night,  _ thinks Yuuya.  _ I should have had hope and took the chance to say hi to him. I could’ve been his alibi eighteen years ago. But I didn’t, not when he was sitting all by himself in the snow. _

Yuuya’s grip tightens on Reira’s hands. He hasn’t left her alone for one second, hasn’t taken his eyes off her for one moment. Reira won’t disappear.

Yuuya walks her all the way up to her door and watches her head inside. Though the slivers of light creeping through the doorway, Yuuya sees Himika sitting on a ratty, worn couch, not meeting anyone’s eyes. A shiver runs down Yuuya’s spine. Will Reira be safe here tonight? Will she be OK? It’s late though, and Reira was kidnapped at the park, not at her home. To avoid that reality, Yuuya kept Reira away from the park.

With a smile, Yuuya says, “Get some good sleep tonight, OK, Akaba? No sneaking off late at night.”

“What are you talking about?” she asks.

“Nothing.”  _ Nothing.  _ He claps his hands together, and then loudly proclaims, “Bye Akaba, bye Akaba-san! See you tomorrow for the party!” His words ring through the entire block, so loud that everyone will have heard him. That’s good. Yuuya wants to be heard so that there are witnesses that just before seven pm he took Akaba Reira home and her mother was there. Yuuya wants everyone to know where Reira is so that he’s safe.

Standing in the doorway, Reira says nothing. He smiles, shakes his head, and then closes the door. The actions are gentle though, the light still glowing on his cheeks as the door shuts.

Once Reira is home, Yuuya rushes back to his house through the thick snow. It clumps on his head and catches in his goggles, and in his hurry he forgets to even pull up his hood. When he gets home, Yoko makes him take a bath at once to get warm and shovels him full of hot soup. “You are going to catch your  _ death,  _ Yuuya!” she exclaims.

“It wasn’t that cold,” Yuuya says over the bowl of soup. His nose runs from the steam wafting up to him, so he casually wipes it on his sleeve. “Besides, I had a really good day today, Mama!”

“Did you now?”

Yuuya leans down to slurp thick udon noodles. “I did. Akaba and I went to the children’s centre today and played all sorts of games. She’s good at checkers, even better than me! I think she’s good at every game she plays, even though she doesn’t have much confidence in herself.”

While he talks, Yoko listens to him with her head cradled in her hands. Each time Yuuya looks up at her, he’s reminded of how much  _ better  _ this reality is. He’s changed the lives of so many people, including himself. In a few hours, Reira will have lived through the mysteries. From there, Yuuya won’t be able to predict what happens next, but that’ll be fine. He’ll go to Mr. Heartland and report that Himika beats Reira, and he’ll get Reira out of his abusive home. He’ll make sure that Yuuri or Rin don’t go missing. He’ll take good care of Yoko so that nothing happens to her in the future.

_ We’ll live through this timeline. _

Even through his exhaustion, Yuuya still doesn’t feel tired. When Yoko drags him off to bed with her and they lie under the covers, Yuuya’s eyes follow the hands of the clock.  _ Tick. Tock.  _ He imagines the strings of fate being played on a great harp. The end of the day is almost near. Soon, Reira will have survived this reality.

_ What if she didn’t though?  _ thinks Yuuya.  _ What if I changed time and she dies later tonight? _

His hands clench under the blankets. A chilly breeze rustles over the back of his neck and freezes his blood. It’s a scary thought to think Yuuya will be moving through uncharted waters now. He’ll have no idea what happens next, but …

There’s a half-hour left of the day. 

_ Tick. Tock. _

Yuuya slips out from under the covers and grabs the clock. He carefully opens the bedroom door and sneaks out to the genkan. He puts on his winter boots and the warmest jacket he can find, and then tiptoes out of the house. 

At this hour, the sky is alight with stars. They guide him down the frosty streets. There aren’t a single set of footprints out, like Yuuya is walking through a new reality. This day doesn’t exist until now. He’s changed fate so much that he can no longer predict anything that will happen. Eighteen years ago, Akaba Reira was the first of three victims in a case of serial kidnapping. Now, she’s no longer a victim, meaning that there could be no case at all.

Yuuya turns onto her street. He needs to know for certain that Reira is well, that she survived this timeline. In his hands, Yuuya’s frozen, ungloved fingers clench the clock. There’s ten minutes left now.

At the end of Reira’s driveway, Yuuya plants himself with the clock held out before him. Like always, there isn’t a single light on in Reira’s house. There are no footprints either, meaning that no one snuck into the house to hurt her. The only person who could’ve hurt her would be Himika, who Yuuya is certain won’t hurt her daughter tonight. She can’t. Yuuya made sure that he saw Himika before he left, and he yelled it loud enough to the neighbourhood so that Himika wouldn’t have an alibi. 

Reira will be safe tonight.

Yuuya watches the hands tick forwards, minutes skipping by. 

_ 11:58.  _ He’s going to live through another day.

_ 11:59.  _ They’ll all live through another day.

_ 12:00.  _

Yuuya holds his breath. He waits one, two, three, for anything. For lights to appear in the sky, for the world to break apart from the new reality. He waits for a sign in the world to tell him that he’s done it, but … He places a hand over his heart, to where the beat has softened to a gentle thrum. The more he breathes, the more at peace he feels. Yuuya knows he no longer needs to be afraid. Reira is OK. Reira is safe. Inside that house, she’ll see another day – no, she’ll see many more days.

The dimension where Akaba Reira is missing is gone.

_ I saved him. _

Yuuya hurries home with wings on his feet, skipping through the fresh, white snow. The stars guide him back to his warm, bright house illuminated by the gentle moon. He slips through the door once more and hangs up his jacket. His shoes go to the edge of the genkan; stepping up, he tiptoes back to bed and curls under the covers. Tonight, he sleeps as close to Yoko as he can. Her chin tucks over his head, and his cheeks mush against her breasts. Yoko is safe and warm, and she wraps her hands around him like she missed him.

_ I’m safe, Mama,  _ Yuuya thinks to himself.  _ I saved her. _

However, Yuuya still doesn’t sleep. His mind races at the thought of seeing Reira in the morning. Just like the day before, he wants to see her in the morning. Thoughts of Reira replay in his mind – the memories he’s created with him are so important that Yuuya can’t shut down his mind to get any rest. In the wee hours of the morning, he drags himself out of bed, shakes himself awake, and hurries to grab his school supplies.

From the bed comes a moan and a mumble, and then, “Yuuya? What are you doing up so early?” Yoko rubs tiredly at her eyes and blinks to clear the sleep from them.

“I’m going to school a bit early today,” Yuuya says. In the dark he stumbles around changing into new clothes, and he packs his backpack at the corner of the room.

Still lying on the bed, Yoko moves to get up. “You should’ve told me you were getting up so early. I would’ve made you breakfast –”

“That’s fine, Mama,” Yuuya interrupts. “I want you to rest up today. I just … really want to go see someone this morning.”

Yoko  _ knows.  _ She smiles at him, dimples showing, and then sinks back down into the covers. “Fine, fine, I’m not going to turn down a morning in. Be safe out there though. It snowed last night and it must be so cold, and there might be ice on the sidewalks.”

Just before he heads to get on his winter jacket and boots, Yuuya turns to look back into the bedroom. There’s a bit of starlight shimmering down on Yoko’s head, creating a halo of light. She looks like a beautiful angel sleeping among the white sheets. “I’ll be careful, Mama. I love you.”

Her eyes widen, and then she smiles and presses her cheek into the pillow. “Have a good day at school, Yuuya.”

He sits on the edge of the genkan and pulls on his boots; they’re still a bit cold from going out in the snow at midnight. Likewise, his jacket is damp and he shivers as his arms slip into the fabric. He zips it up all the way to his chin. Just before he goes, Yuuya looks up at the pegs of winter wear. There’s a scarf there, a green one that’s not long or thick like Reira’s, but is something that will keep Yuuya warm. He tugs it off the pegs and winds it round his neck once, twice, just like Reira.

Ready, Yuuya braves the cold weather and steps outside. He makes the same trip as before, one foot in front of the other. He can see the imprints of his footsteps from when he travelled here late at night; it hasn’t snowed much overnight, and it hasn’t been long since he was last there. He doesn’t see another person for the entire walk there. It’s eerie in a way, like he might be the only one in this world. In this new reality, does everyone still exist? Has Yuuya broken time?

_ I saved her. _

At the end of Reira’s driveway, Yuuya stands and looks at the house. For the first time, there’s a bit of light on in one of the rooms. The window is open too, and through it Yuuya can hear the sounds of running water. He waits for a moment under the window, wondering if it could be Reira or Himika, before curiosity gets the better of him and he knocks. His heart thunders in his chest. He needs to see him again. He needs to know if Reira is OK.

_ Pat, pat.  _ Footsteps across the ground. 

Yuuya holds his breath.

_ Click, click.  _ The locks are undone on the door. The chain is slid off too; Yuuya strains his ears to hear it.

Then the door opens and Reira is there, rubbing one of his eyes. His long, purple hair is tied back in a low ponytail, but it doesn’t hide the messy bed hair he has. He’s still dressed in dark blue pyjamas, buttoned up on the front with teeny, black buttons. With a heavy blink, Reira looks at him again and frowns. 

“What … are you doing here so early?”

Yuuya feels tears prick in his eyes. Reira … is alive. Standing before him is the first victim of a serial kidnapping case, alive and well. She doesn’t even have a single bruise on her skin. Other than the apparent tiredness in her eyes – possibly from just getting up – Reira looks unharmed. 

A sob chokes in Yuuya’s throat. “You’re … OK.”

Instead of taking a step back into the house, Reira steps forward, toes curling over the edge of the door. She raises an eyebrow and asks, “Are you stupid?” in the same way that makes Yuuya’s heart soar. 

_ He’s alive. _

Yuuya doesn’t have any words to say anything though. He wipes the stray tears from his eyes with his bare, frozen hands, and then holds them together in front of his chest. This is all new for him. He’s seeing Reira for real, a day past when he was expected to die. 

It’s a miracle.

Reira swings the door back and forth with one hand, eyes not leaving him. “Do you want to walk to school today? I’m not ready to go.”

Yuuya steps down one step. “That’s OK. I’ll wait.”

Again, Reira quirks an eyebrow at him, unsure what do even do about him getting emotional in the cold out front of her house. Then with a shrug, Reira says, “Wait there, I’ll be right back.”

This time when Reira closes the door, Yuuya has no fears. He climbs down the rest of the steps and sits in the soft snow outside of her house, and waits. He sees the single light on in the house, the only light he’s ever seen in such a gloomy home, and he knows Reira will be all right. If Reira has made it through tonight, she’ll make it through many, many more nights. She’ll live out her wonderful life, and Yuuya will get her out of that abusive household. He can’t help but cheer at the small victories.

In the quiet peace of the morning, Yuuya hears through the single window the sounds of Reira’s life. When the door opens again, Reira is the light in the doorway, dressed in her dark peacoat and thick, red scarf that blows in the winter wind.

“Ready to go?” she says. 

Yuuya hops up out of the snow and meets her at the bottom of the stairs. She outstretches her hand, not quite meeting his – and Yuuya reaches out to grasp hers and hold her hands. She blinks at their held hands, unsure how to proceed. Yuuya knows though. He walks him down the last step, and then falls in line with Reira. They walk to school as if it could be any other day, but every second that goes by make Yuuya’s heart grow and grow; his smile becomes brighter and brighter as he thinks of the many years he’ll spend with his friends.

_ I changed history. I helped everyone out, even myself, and now … _

Reira is smiling at the ground. “You’re funny sometimes, Sakaki.”

“I’m glad.”

They step under the archways of Heartland Academy, on March 2, 1988. 

_ This is a new day for everyone,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ This is a new future.  _

He doesn’t let go of Reira’s hand until they have to break apart to change into their indoor shoes, and even then Yuuya waits for Reira so they can walk to class together. When they head through the hallways, Yuuya swears he sees heads turn to them. Do these people know too how wonderful it is that history has changed? Do they know this is a different life they are living, one where a girl didn’t go missing last night?

In the classroom, everyone is out of their seats and talking in clusters. Yuuya and Reira take their backpacks to their respective seats. However, at once Yuuya hears footsteps behind him and someone lean right over his back. A voice whisper-shouts in his year, “Are you and Akaba dating now?” and Yuuya knows it can be no one else but Yuugo.

Throwing himself upright, his spine connects with Yuugo’s chin. “Ow, Yuugo! What are you doing?”

“Asking a question, geez,” Yuugo says. He rubs at his chin. “Isn’t that why she’s coming to your birthday too?”

Right, the birthday party. “Yeah,” Yuuya says. “You’re all coming after class, right? We’ll go buy sandwich ingredients because my mom gave me lots of money, and then we’ll come back home for cake. Sounds like a plan?”

Yuugo nods enthusiastically, Yuuto tilts his head forward – 

And Yuuri rolls his eyes. “Good plan,” he says, “but have you looked on the board yet? You’ve got class duty after school.”

“What?” Yuuya says. His head whips over his shoulder, nearly giving him whiplash. Sure enough, his name is on the board for classroom duty today. Yuuya’s hands ball in fists. He  _ just  _ cleaned the classroom, and there are enough students that it shouldn’t be his turn already. There must be a mistake on the board.

Reira’s name is under his.

Yuuya growls deep in his throat. This ruins all of his birthday plans. He was supposed to go shopping with everyone and then head back to his house. However, now he’ll either have to beg his friends to hang out in the schoolyard for him while he and Reira rush to clean up, or he’ll have to ask them to wait at home. Either way, it’s not the kind of birthday party Yuuya had in mind.

“I  _ just  _ cleaned the classroom though,” Yuuya mutters. “That’s unfair.”

Yuuto shrugs. “It sucks, but Mr. Heartland won’t change it. The best you can do is finish up and then come home, right? We’ll still have a fun party.”

“Yeah,” Yuuya says. It won’t be exactly what he had in mind, but it’s better than nothing. It doesn’t stop Yuuya from glowering at his teacher when he enters the classroom and begins attendance. Once the initial anger is gone though, the warm feelings in his stomach return. This is a new day. Reira looks pretty and happy ahead of him. Yuuya himself feels pretty and happy knowing that he’s changed the future for the better.

When class ends, Yuuya heaves himself to his feet to begin sweeping the floors, cleaning the chalkboards, and washing the desks. The room doesn’t even look that  _ messy,  _ Yuuya thinks, so why does he have to hang out in the classroom when it’s his birthday? And it’s  _ Reira’s  _ birthday so home come  _ both  _ of them have to spend it cleaning?

Peeking over his shoulder, Yuuya sees Reira scrubbing pencil markings off one of the desks. 

“This wasn’t how I planned on spending my birthday,” Yuuya jokes to him, “but I could think of a hundred worse things that we could be doing.”

Reira nods. Pauses. Then, “I’m glad you came to pick me up today. It … means a lot to me.” 

Yuuya has to hide a smile, hair falling in front of his rosy cheeks. He has a present for Reira at home, something he’s worked hard to make. She doesn’t even know the beginning of how special this day is for Yuuya.

The cleaning passes by in peace, and they finish in record time so that they can thank Mr. Heartland in his office and then hurry on out the door. When they get outside though, Yuuya looks left and right round the courtyard for his friends, and they are nowhere to be seen. In fact, there’s not even signs that they hung around here: Yuuya would know seeing as how there are no massive towers of snow anywhere, or big scuffles on the ground from Yuugo tackling Yuuri.

“Where are they?” Yuuya growls. “I thought they said they’d wait for us.”

Reira looks around the courtyard too, and then shrugs. “Maybe they went to your house for the party.”

“But we’re supposed to go buy sandwich ingredients.” In his own pity party, Yuuya sinks down his knees, moaning in despair. “This is not how I planned my birthday party,” he laments. 

His words don’t get a single reply from Reira. She squats down next to him and looks down at the cement. Finger drawing intricate designs into the dusty snow on the sidewalk, she appears not even be paying attention to him. 

Huffing, Yuuya rises to his feet. “Come on, Akaba. We can’t be sitting around on this important day, right? We might as well go buy the sandwich ingredients together, and then when we get home if the others are there we’ll talk to them. There’s no point waiting around.”

Reira nods in reply and follows after him. The grocery store they visit in on the path home, one with a dimly-illuminated sign and with lots of simple snacks. Yuuya buys bread, lettuce, tomatoes, deli meats, and mayo. He asks Reira for suggestions too, but he doesn’t know of anything that would taste good between sliced bread. 

“You’ve never had a sandwich before?” Yuuya says.

Reira shrugs. “I guess.”

It’s not an answer to anything. He and Reira carry the groceries to the cashier, who scans them and carefully places them in plastic bags. As Yuuya pays for the food and collects the bags, he remembers his birthday in a different timeline. It wasn’t as much fun because he didn’t have any friends, and he didn’t even have a party. In fact, it was rather depressing. Yoko bought so many different sandwich ingredients that it was all they ate for weeks, and even if the time with his mother was fun, Yuuya wished more than anything that he could have a party with his friends.

Peeking over his shoulder, Yuuya wonders if Reira has ever had a birthday party too. He seems rather unsure of the idea. 

The grocery bags are heavy in their hands as they truck down the sidewalk to the house. When they arrive at the apartment, Yuuya drags them to the door and then sets them down. He tries the handle, and – frowns. 

It’s locked.

It’s past class time, and Yoko is often home. More importantly, today is the day of the party and his friends should be at his house. If they aren’t there, Yuuya has no idea where anyone could be. Maybe Yuugo went back home, or Yuuri had prior commitments, or –

No. They wouldn’t ditch him on his birthday.

With a groan, Yuuya sets down the bags and fishes out his  key from his pocket. Maybe Yoko just locked the door by habit – even if she rarely locks the door to begin with – and maybe everyone hasn’t heard the jangling of the handle over Yuugo’s loud voice. That makes far more sense.

_ Click. _

The door swings open.

For a moment, it’s dark in the house. All the lights are off, and Yuuya doesn’t even step inside. Then the lights flick on and the house illuminates. With a pop, several party toys shoot out ribbons that arc into the sky. The ribbons catch in Yuuya and Reira’s snow-flecked hair. All around the room are their friends: Yuugo, right in their faces with crowns to put on their heads; Yuuri, holding two party poppers with a sly grin; and Yuuto, leaning against a table upon which  _ two  _ cakes rest. 

Two cakes. Yuuya’s eyes widen first at the desserts on the table, and then on the hanging banner across the wall that reads “Happy Birthday Yuuya and Reira!” in large, loopy letters. Just underneath it is a smaller, taped-on piece of paper that jokingly reads “Get married?” in messy scrawl. Yoko stands to the side of these banners, arms folded in front of her chest and a knowing smile on her pink lips.

Yuuya … can’t move. Can’t even blink through the surprise that has caught him in a net. He looks around the room, at the desserts and decorations, and at his mother and friends. Finally, Yuuya turns to look at Reira. She’s grinning too, eyes bright and wide. 

“D-did … you plan  _ all  _ of this, Mama?” Yuuya asks. “The decorations, the invitations, the cake –”

“Your friends did,” she answers. “I just lent a helping hand. They told me it was yours and Reira’s birthdays, and so I helped wherever I could.”

Yuuto nods, coming round to take Yuuya and Reira’s hands and lead them to the table. The first cake has Yuuya’s name on it. It’s decorated with a carnival theme, bright colours and confetti-like candy around a funfetti cake. Conversely, Reira’s cake is a lush lavender design and decorated with a long, red rope that circled the circumference. 

“We found out from Mr. Heartland that Reira had the same birthday as you, so we wanted to plan a surprise party for both of you. That’s why –”

_ “That’s  _ why I had cleaning duty?” Yuuya gasps. “Unfair!”

Chuckling, Yuuto says, “It’s the only way we could ensure you wouldn’t come home early. You’re a hard worker, Yuuya. And besides, we all wanted to surprise you. It’s our thanks to you for being such a good friend to us all.”

“And,” Yoko says, raising one finger, “you said you wanted two cakes, Yuuya. I saw right through that – you were thinking about Reira, weren’t you? Well, it’s best to celebrate with friends.”

“And presents!” Yuugo says.

Yuuya looks over his shoulder, to where several wrapped boxes sit underneath the table. His present for Reira isn’t there yet, but it’s in his room. It’s unwrapped, but he doesn’t think Reira will mind.

“Sakaki …”

Yuuya looks over his shoulder. 

Reira is looking down at his feet, tears pooling in his blue eyes. He no longer looks happy or even surprised, and his shoulders slump forwards. “I … didn’t finish your present. I’m so sorry.”

Thinking back to these past few days, Yuuya realises that he’s been dragging Reira around a lot for other reasons. He hadn’t thought about what might have been going on in Reira’s life during the time, including Reira making him a present. However, it doesn’t change how Yuuya feels about his actions. He claps Reira on the shoulder and smiles. “That’s fine, you can give it to me later. In the meantime though …”

Yuuya looks back at the bags at the edge of the genkan. He and Reira both dropped them when they came into the house, too shocked about the surprise party and decorations. “Let’s make sandwiches everyone!”

He’s never felt such fun in his live. Among his friends, Yuuya feels at peace. They roll up their sleeves at the table and make every possible combination of sandwich. He and Yuugo go for trying the zaniest flavours, while Reira, Yuuri, and Yuuto stick to more traditional sandwiches. Yoko brings them more ingredients from the fridge to try. As they make sandwiches, Yoko cuts them into quarters and sets them on a plate to pick from. They eat while they work, never stopping until both the ingredients are gone and the sandwiches are eaten.

Eighteen years ago, Yuuya remembers eating sandwiches for weeks. Now, there isn’t a single sandwich left, and the ingredients have been cleared out. All around the table are his friends patting their full stomachs. They’ve even eaten the cake too!

Once the table is cleaned off, the presents are opened. Yuuya opens packages of action figure and books. Reira gets books as well, and Yuuya promises that once the snows clears maybe Reira can bring those books to the hideout. 

When all the presents under the table are opened, Yuuya rushes to his room and reaches into the closet. He comes back with a pair of warm, wool gloves that he saw in a shop window. They have a small design on them, intricate like a sigil, but what’s most important is how thick and soft they are and the deep, wine-red color. “Your hands are always so cold, Akaba. These might help.”

Reira presses them to her chest. They’re the same colour as his scarf. He doesn’t appear to know what to say at first, but then his lips quirk upwards. “T-thank you, Sakaki. Thank you, everyone.” Now Reira is crying, tears dripping down his cheeks flecked with mayo. “I don’t know what else to say, but …”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Yuuri says.

“Don’t cry, Akaba!” Yuugo says.

Yuuto nods in agreement. “Your thanks is enough.”

Next to Reira, Yuuya smiles brightly. “Happy eleventh birthday, Akaba!”

For the rest of the night, Reira glows. She lights up the room around them, and Yuuya can’t take his eyes off such a beautiful sight. This is Reira’s new life. She’s the centre of attention, the start of this new world. In this timeline, Yuuya and Reira become eleven years old together and no one disappears. In this timeline, they keep on living and dreaming and believing in one another. 

As the night continues, the hype from the party slows. When it begins to get dark and everyone winds down, Yuuto tells him, “Walk Akaba home, Yuuya. We’ll clean up here.” He winks.

Yuuya’s cheeks grow red. “Y-yes.” Still blushing, he slips on his shoes and waits for Reira to do hers. In his rush, he hurries out into the snowy wonderland in just his t-shirt and jeans and doesn’t realise it until he’s walking down the road alongside Reira. He wraps his arms around his body and clenches his teeth.

“Thank you again for the party,” Reira says. “It was lots of fun.”

“I’m glad,” Yuuya says, biting his tongue when his teeth begin to chatter. Reira had the sensibility to don her jacket and scarf, and she’s even wearing the wool gloves he bought her. 

Another shiver wracks his body, and this time Yuuya can’t hold it back. He squeezes his eyes closed, imagining sitting before a warm fire with his friends and mother, drinking hot chocolate and telling stories or playing board games. He imagines the warmth everyone has given him, and soon he feels better. When Yuuya opens his eyes, Reira is standing before him winding her red scarf around his neck, looping it twice before tying the ends up.

“What –”

“You’re cold,” Reira says, “and I don’t want you to get sick.”

For the rest of the walk, Yuuya feels warmer than ever before. All the lights are off to Reira’s house and the pathway is thick with falling snow. There isn’t a single set of footprints in the driveway. Together, Yuuya and Reira make their own footprints up to the doorway, and then shake the snowflakes from their bodies. 

“Thank you for everything,” Reira says to him. He looks away, embarrassed. “I’m so glad I became friends with everyone, especially you.” She holds out her hands to him then, smiling. “I’ll give you your present tomorrow. I  _ promise.”  _

Briefly, Yuuya takes Reira’s hands. “Good night! See you tomorrow!”

When Reira slips through the doorway into her dark house, Yuuya is no longer afraid for her. She’ll be OK for this night and many more to come. They’ve passed the previous timeline and celebrated their birthdays. Now, the future is newer and brighter than ever. He skips down the stairs and lands in the soft snow, hands thrown up to the star-speckled sky. The world is cheering for him, chanting his name.

_ I don’t mind living through this timeline again,  _ Yuuya thinks,  _ so long as Akaba is alive and with me.  _

Yuuya dances the entire way home, his mind alight with new ideas. No longer should he have to worry about kidnappings. Whether time sends him back to when he was 28, or whether he has to live through this world again, Yuuya is happy knowing he made a difference in so many of his friends’ lives. This second chance gave him the courage and hope to make the world right.

Exhaustion kicks in the moment his toes hit the doorway, and he drags himself into the house and onto the futon. Everyone is gone after having cleaned up the house, and Yoko is already in bed. Yuuya curls up next to his mother, the future life that he saved, and buries his face in her back. She is just awake enough to roll over and tuck him closer, wrapping her arms around his body.

* * *

 

When Yuuya wakes up, his mind feels like it’s been plowed over by a truck. He rubs his eyes and wipes the drool off his mouth, and blearily he looks past the covers. Sunlight streams through the blinds; he’s slept in a bit. The house is silent too, meaning Yoko has already left for work –

“Shit!” Yuuya cries. He’s late!

He scrambles out of the bed and hurries to get dressed. He pulls on the first pair of clothes from his drawer and pushes his dirty bangs back with his goggles. He’ll deal with his hair in the morning. Through the bedroom door, his backpack is on the floor by the kitchen and packed with breakfast, snacks, and his textbooks. It appears Yoko knew he would be late, and she let him sleep in.

_ That’s kind, Mama,  _ he thinks,  _ but really what I need is to get to school on time – _

Reira.

Yuuya remembers Reira, and his heart sinks. Just after their birthday party, after everything they’ve done together these past few days, he missed picking her up. Yuuya knows Reira is smart enough to not wait around for him when he’s late, so he’s certain she’ll already be in class. It doesn’t ease the ache in his heart though for sleeping through all of his alarms and missing school. Undoubtedly, his friends will tease him for sleeping in.

Snatching up his backpack, Yuuya scrambles out the door and runs down the street. His backpack bangs against his spine, heavy with multiple food containers. Yoko packed him a lot of food today; however, Yuuya doesn’t have time to pause and eat. If he runs to school, he’ll make it just before the bell. He won’t be late, and he won’t get in trouble.

When he gets to Heartland Elementary’s front gates, he dashes inside and slips through the doors. The hallways are clear as most students are in their respective classes. Yuuya sneaks to the elevator and heads up to the top floor. There, he tiptoes down the hallway to his classroom. Before entering, he peeks through the window. 

Mr Heartland spots him at once. 

_ Shit.  _

Yuuya pulls the door open and steps inside. The class’ eyes turn to look at him; however, Mr Heartland doesn’t look at him again. On his lap balances the attendance book in which he makes one small mark. “Please take your seat, Yuuya.”  _ Tap, tap, tap.  _ “Well, I guess the only one late today –”

With a deep breath, Yuuya looks up.

“– is Reira.”

Yuuya’s head shoots up, eyes scanning the empty seat just ahead of him. It hasn’t been empty for weeks. Reira always come to class. 

_ No,  _ Yuuya thinks, heart crawling up his throat.  _ I saw her last night. I said goodbye to her. No. No, she promised she would see me tomorrow. She had something for me, something special for my birthday. _

_ She didn’t keep her promise. _


	13. Chapter 13

_ _

_ Reira is late. _

_ Reira is late. _

Yuuya repeats it over and over in his mind as he stares at the empty desk before him. Reira hasn’t missed a day of class since the last time Himika beat her, which means that could have happened again. However, Yuuya walked Reira home last night and made sure she was safe. The window of opportunity seems too small. And there’s an even smaller chance that Reira could have been kidnapped because she was at home and wouldn’t have left her house until this morning.

It’s impossible.

Swallowing hard, Yuuya tries to calm his racing heart. His palms are sweaty thinking about Reira’s disappearance. For all he knows, Reira could be sleeping at home, exhausted from the party as well. Maybe she skipped class because she needed to finish the present.

_That’s right,_ Yuuya tells himself, _don’t jump to terrible conclusions_ quite _yet._ However, it eats up his anxious heart. The more Yuuya stares at the empty desk before him, the more worried he becomes. He _saved_ Reira from the fated kidnapping on March 1. They lived through their birthdays which meant that Reira couldn’t have been the victim of a serial kidnapping. It’s much more likely that Himika hurt her, but … why? What did Reira do wrong? What did Yuuya do wrong to lead to this?

Stiffly, Yuuya takes a step towards his seat. He feels Yuuto’s eyes follow him, and even Serena watches him. He’s captured everyone’s interest.

“Yuuya.”

His heart thuds in his chest. Can he fix fate? Did he ever have a chance at saving Reira? Did he … fail the rerun?

“Yuuya.”

What happens now? Does he continue living in this timeline where Reira is missing, or does he go back in time? Does he get another chance to save Reira? And his mother – what happens to her? What timeline is Yuuya meant to exist in? Is he missing too?

_ I missed something. I didn’t save Akaba and it’s all my fault.  _

“Yuuya.”

This time he hears his name, an arrow to his heart that makes him gasp and blink and choke all at once. With a harsh cough, Yuuya realises the class is  _ still  _ staring at him and that he hasn’t taken his place. At the front of the class, Heartland looks anxious by the way his eyebrows draw together and he closes the roll book with a firm  _ clap!  _ “Are you worried about something, Yuuya? If you have concerns, it’s best to take a deep, calming breath and continue on as normal. Life will sort itself out.”

Yuuya drops down into his seat. Heartland’s words burn in his mind. He  _ can’t  _ take advice like that. Eighteen years ago, he lived on while a boy in his class went missing, the first of three victims in a serial kidnapping case. If Reira has gone missing, Yuuya needs to be on alert. He needs to find Reira before anything else happens, and he needs to keep his friends safe. Eighteen years ago, he didn’t do anything. 

_ I can still change fate. _

When the first period ends, Yuuya shoots out of his seat and heads out of the classroom. He hears Serena say, “Hey, ask for permission before you leave!” but he ignores her. He hears his friends call out to him too, asking him where he’s going, but Yuuya plugs his ears and continues on. Even with his hands over his ears, he hears his feet drum on the linoleum. It echoes around him, a discordant sound matching the erratic beat of his heart. Yuuya’s feet lead him out the school doors and down the frosty steps. In his hand, he clenches the thick, red scarf Reira wore. She gave it to him last night when he foolishly walked her home without a jacket, and now –

Yuuya takes off down the street, on the same path he’s walked with Reira a hundred times before. More than once his feet slip on the icy pavement and he hits the ground with a thud. He doesn't stop running though. He’s racing against time, against a fate where Reira disappears. He needs to  _ beat  _ that time, not hold back anymore.

In the park, Yuuya doesn’t find Reira. Where she stood eighteen years ago at the tree is empty, not even a single track of footprints leading there. Yuuya doesn’t think Reira would leave the house for anything besides going to the park, which means she’s still at home. He crosses the park and runs down the snowy hill. At the bottom sits Reira’s house, the darkest building on the block. Every blind is drawn and a looming shadow covers the residence. There are footprints leading up to the steps, but as Yuuya steps into them he realises they are  _ his  _ from last night.

_ I was just here,  _ he thinks.  _ I was just here with you, and you were safe. So how … _

He stumbles up the steps and hits the door with one strong fist. “Akaba! Akaba, is anyone home! It’s me, Sakaki! We have school today, and you aren’t here!” A pause. Yuuya pushes his ear into the cold wood of the door, listening for footsteps. At this point, he’d even be happy to see Himika so he can interrogate her about her son. However, the house is silent. Yuuya hits the door again with both fists. “Open up, Akaba! It’s Sakaki!”

After a moment though, Yuuya’s head turns to path around the house. The last time Reira didn’t come to school and he went looking for her, he found …

Yuuya jumps down the stairs and dashes around the side of the house to where there is a faint trail leading to the storage shed. This time Yuuya doesn’t hesitate throwing open the shed door, bathing the dirty room in sunlight. There are bottles and boxes growing all shades of mould, but the floor is bare. There isn’t even any blood there, meaning Reira hasn’t been in the shed recently.

It’s not reassuring. Reira has only been away from him for a few hours, not long enough for anything major to happen. And besides, the kidnapping has been interrupted. There’s no chance anyone could get Reira in the time Yuuya left her at home.

With a groan, Yuuya kneads his palms into his eye sockets. His breath races out of his chapped lips and his eyes burn with unshed tears. It isn’t time to cry, he tells himself. He has to remain strong and figure this out. He needs to think logically. Closing the door, Yuuya turns around. There are footprints in the show from him dashing around, but there are others – bigger, wider ones – too.

An adult’s footprints. Someone bigger was walking around this area.

Clenching the scarf tight, Yuuya looks around for any signs of movement. No one is in the house. No one has come outside. No one …

_ “If you have concerns, it’s best to take a deep, calming breath and continue on as normal. Life will sort itself out.”  _ That’s what Heartland told him; however, Yuuya feels helpless taking that route. How will doing nothing save Reira? How can anyone believe that Reira is OK and just playing hooky? Leaving this alone might mean forgetting Reira and letting him disappear? Yet there’s nothing else Yuuya can do to interfere. 

Defeated, Yuuya heads back towards the school. He wraps Reira’s scarf around his neck and tucks his face into the warm folds. It doesn’t matter if his entire class sees him wearing the scarf. It doesn't matter if anyone has assumptions. He just wants to know that Reira is safe.

In class, there are still two empty seats and Yuuya takes one of them. The class’ eyes turn to him again, but Mr Heartland draws their attention with a firm, “Yuuya, please take your seat.”

Yuuya’s eyes fill with tears. Reira isn’t here. Reira isn’t anywhere. Like time repeated itself, Reira has disappeared.

_ I’ve failed. _

* * *

 

_ Only the criminal and I knew Reira would go missing, and I saved her on March 1. So how come … it still happened? What did I do wrong? What didn’t I pay attention to? Why hasn’t time jumped back? Is he still alive? Do I still have a chance at saving Reira? _

Yuuya sits at the sliding glass door at the back of his house, watching the thick snowflakes clump on the ground. Still in his pyjamas, he hasn’t moved from this spot in hours. His breakfast on the table is untouched and his homework in his room is still in his backpack. At this hour, nothing matters anymore. Whether Yuuya acts or doesn’t act, it doesn’t seem to change the terrible reality that Akaba Reira went missing. Everything Yuuya did still couldn’t change the outcome.

He buries his head in his knees, sniffling into his pyjama bottoms. He hasn’t gone to school in two days, and he’s certain Reira hasn’t either. They’re both missing again – her lost, and him hovering at the edges of reality. 

_ What time is it?  _ Yuuya wonders.  _ How long have I been here for? _ His legs ache from the cold; he should put on a pair of socks and a warm jacket if he plans on sitting by the door, but his body refuses to move. His emotions wear him down, offering no comfort. 

_ I’m useless. I couldn’t save him. _

Face to the ground, Yuuya mumbles the words on his cracked lips. His throat is raw from sobbing, his eyes irritated from crying. He’s a mess of a person lying in his living room watching the world move on without him. If he wanted to, he could disappear too and it wouldn’t matter. How much of an impact has he really made on this reality? If he couldn’t save Reira, who’s to say he’ll save anyone else? Who’s to say that in the future he won’t find Yoko’s bloody body lying in his living room –

Gagging, Yuuya curls up in a tight balls. Gut-wrenching sobs choke out out him. He presses his fists into his stomach to keep himself from vomiting on the floor. For what feels like hours those dreadful feelings roil in his starved stomach, until Yuuya hears the sounds of footsteps and muffled voices. 

“ … also, the neighbouring city reported a similar incident  …”

Yuuya blinks, red eyes stinging. With the last reserves of his strength, he pulls himself up off the floor and walks to the door. Carefully, he opens the door just enough to peek one eye outside. His mother and another man are standing a few feet away, both dressed in long trench coats and thick scarves. The man has a slim, gaunt face framed by grey hair. With his briefcase hanging on one shoulder, he looks like Yoko’s co-worker. 

“The kidnapper was caught immediately,” the man says, “but we’ll see what happens here.”

_ Kidnapper?  _ thinks Yuuya.  _ But I stopped the kidnappings … _

“There’s no lead though,” his mother says.

“Doesn’t matter,” the man says. “All efforts are being put in to prevent another crime. Can you talk to the school for me? It’s of utmost importance that we get in contact with the school systems if we are to prevent another crime.”

“I can.”

“I owe you one, Sakaki-san. Thanks for this.”

“Don’t mention it.” Yoko shuffles her feet, looking away. “I don’t want the kids to worry about this. This … isn’t something they need to be afraid of. I’ll make sure of it, even if that means keeping it from them.”

_ She did this back then,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ Mom changed it so all the TV stations didn’t show any news of the kidnappings except for early morning and late night messages. She made sure that the kids were safe … and now she’s doing the same thing.  _ Yuuya closes the door, stepping back into the house that seems to swallow him up.  _ I haven’t changed anything. The disappearances are happening again and people are acting in the same way.  _

_ I couldn’t stop this. I couldn’t save him. I can’t save her. _

The longer Yuuya spends hyperventilating in the house, the greater the hole in his heart grows. Finally, his eyes spill with tears and he spins on his heels. He needs to get out of this place. He needs to stop moping and start acting. He can’t live through another eighteen years knowing he failed. 

Yuuya pulls on his winter boots and jacket, and ties Reira’s red scarf around his neck. He slips out the back down and into the thick, untouched snow that freezes his calves. He sinks into the ground at first, heart racing that he’ll keep falling down, down, down until he disappears. However, after a moment he stands knee-deep in the snow, and Yuuya realises he can’t fall any further.

He needs to keep climbing up.

He doesn’t keep track of where his feet lead him, only that the falling snow makes it impossible to see further than his hands can reach. In the winter wonderland, Yuuya trusts his instincts to take him down familiar streets and paths until he’s standing in the centre of the park where Reira was last seen eighteen years ago. As he gazes around, a small, selfish piece of his heart thinks he’ll find Reira here. She’ll be hiding in the park away from everyone and working on her present. She’ll be alive and well, just irresponsible.

Yuuya blinks away sticky tears.

_ I’ll never see him again. _

The sky and ground blur together, a white blizzard that sweeps him off his feet and buries him under layer after layer of frost and pain. Yuuya drops to his knees and squints through the thicket to find Reira. He can’t be missing. He can’t disappear. 

Yuuya trudges back to his house after that and spends the following night inside under the blankets. He picks at his dinner and doesn’t eat his breakfast. Nothing sounds appealing, and Yoko doesn’t press him for anything. When she leaves for work in the morning, she gives him a kiss on the head and tells him, “Don’t go to school unless you want to.”

_ I’m not going then. _

He sits in the living room all day in the same pyjamas and under the same blanket, helpless and lost. No matter what Yuuya thinks about doing, his mind tells him it’s pointless. He failed this time too, and now nothing will bring Reira back.

When Yoko comes home, she sees him sitting in the dim living room, having not moved all day, and she crosses the floor to crouch in front of him. Her cheeks are rosy from being outside in the snow; she brushes her frozen fingers against his pale cheeks. “I know you’re worried about Reira, but it’s not your fault he went missing.”

_ But it is.  _

Yuuya sniffles into his hand. “I couldn’t do anything about it, Mama.”

Yoko settles down on the floor before him, tucking her long legs under her body. Her blonde hair spills in ringlets around her shoulders. Gently, she strokes his cheeks and tugs him forward so that his face rests against her chest, his head moving with her steady breaths. “Hm?”

Yuuya continues: “I didn’t want him to be lonely.”

Yuuya holds his breath. He won’t cry.

“You did that though, didn’t you?” Yoko strokes his head, hands in his thick red-and-green locks. “You invited him to your birthday party. You walked him to and from school, and you spent time with him. Even your teacher, Mr. Akaba, said that Reira benefited from having you as a friend.”

“But it wasn’t enough,” Yuuya argues. He pushes back so that he can look at Yoko in the eyes. She’s not crying; she’s too calm and composed, eyes focused on his tear-stained face. “I didn’t save her, no matter what I did. Akaba is missing –”

“Because of you? Don’t get down on yourself, or else your negativity is going to eat you alive. You think you could have changed that fate? Maybe you could have. But you’re human, Yuuya, and you make mistakes. I make them too, in fact; adults aren’t immune to such problems.” With a laugh, she leans back and smiles at him. “What’s important is learning from those mistakes.”

Yuuya swallows the pit in his throat. He  _ tried  _ that though and he  _ still  _ failed …

“What I’m trying to say is that we’re human. We’re limited in what we can do, and sometimes we can’t make miracles. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try though, but it’s arrogant of you to think that Reira’s disappearance was all your fault.”

“But –”

Yoko shakes her head. “I bought you some lunch, Yuuya. Come up to the table and eat it with me.”

With a sigh, Yuuya stands up and drags himself to the table. It’s been days since he’s had a proper meal, and even longer since he’s eaten with Yoko. The seat feels uncomfortable and his head aches from sitting upright. Across the table, Yoko pushes him a box with four small, round, fluffy pancakes inside. There is a container of syrup and and a square of butter in the corner for him to use.

_ I can’t be depressed around Mom, can I?  _ Yuuya cuts the pancakes into quarters and brings one to his mouth. It’s sweet and thick on his tongue, and he laps up the sticky syrup on the edge of the fork. Somehow, this meal doesn’t feel as nice though. Sitting before his mother, Yuuya can’t bring himself to smile knowing that he’s messed up. Even when he knows Yoko is worried for him and can’t help, Yuuya can do nothing but sit at the table and eat the meal she brought for him.

“Thanks, Mama,” he says.

“You’re welcome.”

* * *

 

Yuuya forces himself to go to school the next day. He drags himself out of bed, out of the house, and straight up the elevator to his classroom. Every seat but his and Reira’s are empty, and like the previous time every pair of eyes turns to face him. Yuuya cowers under his classmates’ fierce stares. 

“Please take your seat, Yuuya.”

He stumbles to his spot and plunks down next to Serena. She has the gall to stare at him for a solid minute before looking away with a  _ hmph!  _ and not talking to him further. Yuuya ignores her though. All around the room there are anxious looks at him, at Reira’s seat, at Mr. Heartland. What happened these past few days that has everyone unnerved?

“Everyone,” Mr. Heartland says, clapping his hands thrice, “you all seem a bit restless today. I have something I want to discuss with you, something important.”

The class falls silent. 

Heartland stands in front of his desk, clasping his hands together. His frog-like eyes bug out and seem to stare at every student in the room at once. “I’ve been pretty quiet about Reira’s whereabouts. I told you that she was away with a cold, but … that was a lie. The truth is she had to go to her grandparents’ house for a family emergency. She won’t be in this class anymore, and she’ll be going to school over in Academia. 

“I received a letter from her family saying that they apologise for the short notice. Reira wishes she could have said goodbye to everyone, but unfortunately the move was unexpected and she didn’t have time. Rest assured though that she is doing well with her family and they are adjusting to their life over there.”

When Heartland falls silent, the class erupts in harsh whispers. Questions of Reira’s disappearance flit around the room. For the most part, no one but Yuuya knew anything about Reira, and so they believed the lie. Yuuya hears the question of Reira’s suspected abuse come up, but another student squashes that idea down with, “That’s a rumour – Akaba’s just shy. He might not even make friends in Academia!”

Yuuya knows it’s a lie though. He can’t believe that Reira moved away after knowing her so well. Reira didn’t leave with her family; she disappeared, was kidnapped, was –

He swallows. Heartland’s eyes are on him. The stare makes him sink into his seat. His teacher knows that he doesn’t believe that lie for a second. There is no proof or evidence, and the likeliness of Reira moving way is as likely as Himika treating her son well. No, Yuuya can’t live with such a lie, and it boils in his gut all through class. By the end of the day, Yuuya has both a headache and a stomachache from thinking about Reira’s disappearance. 

“Yuuya, come to my office please.”

This could not get any worse. His head dips forward and he catches himself just before his forehead connects with his desk. Then he stands and drags himself out of the door. Heartland is still inside rearranging his books and saying goodbye to the other students. Yuuya doesn’t have time for that though. He runs down the stairs two at a time, somehow not tripping, and slips into the staff room to wait. He sits at the chair beside Heartland’s messy desk where Yuuya once looked for Reira’s birthday, and he waits.

And waits.

The door swings open, and Yuuya’s heart skips.

“Yuuya, you’re already down here!” Heartland says. Under his arm is a hefty stack of books that he drops down onto his desk and lets them spill everywhere. “I didn’t even see you leave after class; you must have been fast. Well” – he sighs, sobering – “thanks for coming down here. I have a few things I want to discuss with you personally that I don’t want the other students to overhear.”

Yuuya nods for Heartland to continue.

“You know as much as I do that Reira didn’t move away with his grandparents. That’s a lie for the other students, and one that is being enforced by the school board. You and I must keep up that lie and not tell anyone else. The teachers and parents are worried that you kids will get scared knowing that Reira went missing, and so that cover story is to ease everyone’s minds.”

_ I … have to lie? I have to  _ live  _ a lie? _

“This must be hard for you,” he continues, “but it’s important that you keep coming to school and pretending like nothing is wrong. The class can’t get worried over this, Yuuya. You understand, right?”

He swallows.

“You understand?”

“I do, sir.” It doesn’t settle the anxiety in Yuuya’s stomach though, knowing that he has to live with a massive lie. Is this how Reira felt hiding his abuse? Is this how Reira felt  _ daily?  _ Yuuya feels swallowed up by the lies surrounding Reira’s disappearance. That mystery doesn’t involve him – not directly – but if affects him like a virus in his bloodstream. 

On his walk home from school, Yuuya walks by Reira’s house just to see if he can spot any footprints in the snow, any lights on in the house – any sign of life that Reira might still be home. There are none. What Yuuya finds is a black car parked out front of Reira’s house. He never sees Himika, but from news reports he listens to on the radio in the wee hours of the morning, he learns that her alibi is firm. She’s the prime suspect, but the police have no evidence with which to accuse her.

Six days after Akaba Reira went missing, Izayoi Rin went missing: a girl from Neo Domino Elementary, and a girl who went missing in the original timeline. Yuuya cries himself to sleep thinking that he didn’t change anything and that he didn’t help anyone. Another girl went missing; the kidnapper is still active. 

Just like before, the schools issue the strict rule that students cannot walk home without adult supervision. They’re told that because of safety reasons, but the talk of the classroom is that another girl went missing. The teachers don’t confirm or deny their suspicions; they don’t do anything except wrap them in thick lies with sugar-coated words.

After class, Yuuya sits in his desk and lets the world pass him by. All day his mind has been fuzzy thinking about how useless he is now. What is he meant to do now that two students have disappeared? Where is he meant to be? His mind won’t focus, he can’t settle, he –

A hand rests on his shoulder. With a gasp, Yuuya looks up to find Yuuto standing beside him. His hand puts just enough pressure on Yuuya’s body that it keeps him grounded in reality and not drowning in his own self-misery. With a sigh, Yuuto says, “Come on, let’s go for a walk outside. You look like you could use some fresh air.”

Wordlessly, Yuuya follows him. At times, Yuuto can be a guy of few words. He says nothing the entire walk down the hallway and out the door, and, even when he leads Yuuya across the field to crouch in the snow, he doesn’t say anything. Likewise, Yuuya doesn’t say a word. He trails after Yuuto, only two steps behind, and keeps his head bowed. When they get to the far end of the field, out of earshot of anyone, Yuuto turns towards him and leans against the fence. 

“So.”

Yuuya raises his head. “So?”

“You heard about that girl that went missing in City, right? Izayoi Rin from Neo Domino Elementary.”

Her name makes Yuuya’s mouth go dry. He’s seen the posters around town, pasted up high so that he’s not supposed to look up and see them. He’s heard the announcements on the early morning and late night news. She was taken a few days ago.

“She’s why the teachers don’t want us walking home. They won’t tell us that because they want to protect us, but I learned from my dad that she went missing. Apparently though, Neo Domino Elementary doesn’t want anyone to know either. I heard from a friend that the teachers there are saying that Izayoi moved away to live with her grandparents too.” Yuuto kicks his foot into the snow, scowling. “That’s the same lie they told us about Akaba.”

_ So it’s true,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ She’s gone missing and the adults are trying to hide it. Just … like last time.  _ Yuuya rubs at his running nose, feeling the cold seep into his clothes. Next to him, Yuuto looks impassive to the freezing weather.

“You missed a few days of school. Is everything OK?”

“Just getting over a cold,” Yuuya lies, sniffling behind his hand. His eyes are getting all misty again thinking about the disappearances, and it doesn’t help that the cold is hurting him. He wishes he had Reira’s scarf to wrap around his neck to keep his face warm.

“I see …” Yuuto says, eyes narrowing. “We were all going to come and see you, you know. I’m sorry about what happened with Akaba, and now about what happened to Izayoi.”

“It’s fine.” Voice hollow, words empty.

Yuuto crosses his arms over his chest, frowning. “The adults aren’t telling the truth and they’re keeping secrets. I don’t think we’re supposed to say this in front of the teachers, but … I want to call them out on their lies. You think they’re lying too, don’t you?”

Stiffly, Yuuya nods. He can’t repeat what Mr. Heartland told him, even to Yuuto. Yuuto is his closest friend, but if his friends find out they might be in danger. It’s best if Yuuya figures this out on his own. 

“Is this … a serial kidnapping case?”

Yuuto has been interested in law and details for a while. He’d know this phrase. It does not, however, stop the chill that seeps into Yuuya’s veins when he hears those words. That’s what happened eighteen years ago. It’s what took the lives of three children – two girls and one boy – and what led to Yoko’s death all those years later. It’s what Yuuya tried to  _ stop;  _ however, it appears that, details aside, the same events are repeating.

Yuuya hasn’t changed fate.

What  _ has  _ Yuuya changed?

“I don’t know,” Yuuya tells Yuuto. “I … don’t know if those events are connected in any way –”

“But you think it’s suspicious, right?” Yuuto presses. He pushes himself off of the fence and steps up to Yuuya. They’re the same height, but Yuuto’s maturity makes him seem a bit taller and older. “You don’t believe the adults, do you?”

“I don’t know.” Yuuya doesn’t know anything. He’s lost in this dimension, drowning under all the effort he put in that  _ still  _ led to failure. He hasn’t helped anyone. He hasn’t saved anyone.

His words make Yuuto knit his brows and clench his fists. “I hope this case gets resolved. I hope they find Akaba and Izayoi. I hope no one goes missing.” Yuuto looks him dead in the eyes, one hand on Yuuya’s shoulder. “I’m here if you want to talk, Yuuya. Promise. When you’re in trouble, just ask for help. I’ll be there to listen to you.”

These words though, they seem to mature to come from the Yuuto eighteen years ago. This time is a bit different. It doesn’t change the terrible fate though.

Yuuya shrugs off Yuuto’s hands and takes a step back. His cheeks are frozen, making it too hard to even fake a smile. He needs to go inside and get his backpack. “Thanks, Yuuto. See you tomorrow.”

Today is the last day he’ll be able to walk to school on his own. Starting tomorrow, he’ll need Yoko to walk with him. It’ll cut into her work time, but she’ll make arrangements for him. Starting tomorrow, fate might still be the same. 

The next death will be Yuuri.

Tears prick Yuuya’s eyes as he runs back into the school. He grabs his books off his desk, ignoring the looks of his classmates cleaning the room, and he takes his belongings back to his locker. Sniffling, he stuffs his schoolwork into his backpack and dons his jacket. Reira’s scarf is still in his locker. He ties it around his neck like a medal of honour, a gift from a dear friend.

Once more, Yuuya steps out of the school and heads home alone. It feels unbearably lonely to walk alone; how has he survived for all these years? Long ago, he used to walk home alone and appreciate the silence of the city. Now Yuuya misses the presence by his side. Reira wasn’t chatty by any means, but her company was loved. Again, Yuuya realises he misses the simple things in life he’s lost. Reira was his friend, and now …

_ One more time, I’ll check … _

At the turnoff to his house, Yuuya keeps walking forward. He crosses the deserted park where Reira once stood alone, the place Yuuya kept her safe from. He protected her for as long as possible, and it still wasn’t enough to change her fate. Past the park is the house. However, for once there is life outside of it. Himika comes out dressed in a crisp business suit, hair rolled up high on her heart-shaped head, and dragging a garbage bag for collection day. When she lifts her head up, she spots Yuuya on the other side of the road and she smiles. Yuuya doesn’t like her smile: it curls her lips like sour milk.

Yuuya stiffens as if he’s been caught. He doesn’t dare cross the street until she has returned to her house and shut the door. Every blind is still shut. If Yuuya hadn’t seen her, he’d had thought the house was deserted. Then, once he assures himself Himika won’t come outside again, Yuuya crosses the street and stands at the entrance to Reira’s house. He closes his eyes and opens them; crushing his hands together, he bows his head and prays to any gods out there that Reira is OK.

When he opens his eyes, he spots the bag of garbage. It’s clear plastic bag, inside which Yuuya spots dozens of shirts, pants, and dresses – clothes that he’s seen Reira wear before. The only belonging of Reira that appears  _ not  _ to be in the bag is the red scarf tied around Yuuya’s neck. However … there are gloves in there: half-knitted gloves made of dark green thread. 

Yuuya’s throat closes up as he remembers Reira, one hand raised up to him the night she disappeared, her own fingers encased in a red glove.

_ “I’ll give you your present tomorrow. I  _ promise.”

Those were Reira’s last words to him. He didn’t keep his promise. Those gloves are  _ his,  _ the present from Reira that he never received. 

With a cry, Yuuya steps back. His feet catch on the edge of the pavement and he tumbles, but instead of falling to concrete he keeps tumbling and rolling. The edges of his vision blur and the world around him grows whiter than the winter wonderland from which he came. All around him the whiteness swallows him up, until he comes to in a darkened alley lit only by a single lightbulb above his head.

Gasping, Yuuya looks around him. He can feel the wet cement on his frozen hands, and he can see down the eerie alley. There are sirens all around him, cars speeding down the highway. At the end of the pathway there are lights whirring back and forth, red and blue and white blinding him. Yuuya stumbles to his feet and raises a shaky, bloodied hand to his face. His fingers fumble in his hair; atop his head, he’s no longer wearing his childhood goggles.

_ I’m home,  _ he thinks.  _ I’m back to the present time, which means … _

The cops are looking for him. In the present time, he’s been framed for Yoko’s murder and the police are pursuing him. When he performed the rerun, he hid in an alleyway, desperately trying to escape. It appears that he’s returned a few minutes before that, just enough time for him to escape.

_ I need to run,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ Run away, away from all of this.  _

_ I need to get back.  _


	14. Chapter 14

The first place Yuuya goes to is a quiet park. At this twilight hour, it isn’t hard to find somewhere deserted. He stalks into the park and searches out a water fountain, somewhere where he can wash the blood from his hands and face. It sticks to him and buries under his fingernails; no matter how hard he scrubs, he can only get the first couple layers off.

_ How long was I sitting there for?  _ he thinks.  _ A few minutes?  _ It’s been weeks that he lived in the alternate timeline, when he went back eighteen years to try and save Reira. However, time froze here: he hasn’t missed more than a few seconds of his life as a twenty-eight year old.

He leans over the sink and rubs his face with cold water. It drips down his cheeks and off his chin. With a heavy sigh, Yuuya slurps water from the fountain. Ten-year old him had much more stamina for running. He’s forgotten that in this reality he isn’t running through parks after his friends, and that the most exercise he’s done is walking to and from work. In this timeline, he’s an adult – a poor one at that, but still an adult.

Is that why he failed at saving Reira? Because he was an adult in a child’s body? How much change could a ten-year old child make? He foolishly thought he could change fate since he was from the future, but in truth time led right back to the same consequences. In both timelines, people died. In both timelines, Yuuya’s actions were worthless.

He takes one last drink of water and then heads out of the park. Unlike before, he can’t predict any part of the future. Yuuya has no idea what will happen in the next minute or hour; he’s in constant danger of being found and captured. If he’s caught, he’ll never have a chance of saving Yoko. He’ll be framed for murder, just like Tsukumo Yuuma, and he’ll have no alibi. The culprit will get away, just like he did all those years ago.

_ I should have tried harder! _

Did he really believe he, a ten-year old kid, could solve the murder of his friend? Did he think he could change the future to save the lives of his friends and mother? How  _ stupid  _ could he be?

_ I couldn’t save Akaba. I couldn’t save Mom. I’m framed for the murder of my own mother, and now … This is the reality I live in.  _ Sighing, Yuuya scrapes his toes on the cement. The new reality he lives in is one he can’t escape. It feels like Yoko’s death happened ages ago, yet Yuuya knows it’s been a mere few hours. Yuuya can still picture her face when his was little, dressing him up for the winter weather or cooking hot dinner. 

Even though he’s certain he won’t be able to return home, Yuuya retraces his steps to the edge of his property. He peeks around the corner to find police cars and ambulances parked out front of his apartment complex. This part of the city is alight with sirens and searchlights. All around the buildings are officers in uniform looking for him or investigating the crime scene. Yuuya doesn’t see Yoko’s corpse anywhere. He can see the hole he put in the window though, on that night when they fought. All the evidence points to him.

He’s not safe here. Yuuya steps back and heads down the street. His stomach aches and his head hurts just thinking about the mess he’s in. He can’t bring himself to cry though: now’s not the time for tears. In such a dire moment, he doesn’t have time to break down. He needs to find shelter and safety wherever he can. There are few people that he can trust at this moment.

As he walks, Yuuya runs over the scenario once more. The criminal framed him by first killing his mother. He knew Yuuya was out of the house, probably because he knew when Yuuya went to work. He stabbed Yoko with a knife; surely this criminal was smart enough to not leave any fingerprints. Then there’s the witness: his landlord heard about the fight he’d had with Yoko, and he saw Yuuya run out the back door and over the fence.

The culprit has him trapped like a mouse. At every corner he’s been framed for Yoko’s murder. Every piece of evidence leads back to him, and without an alibi Yuuya knows that the police won’t go looking for the real criminal. He’s been caught, and the only choice he has is to run away from it all.

As he walks down the hazy streets, Yuuya begins to form his plan. He needs to find food and shelter. He’ll need money too if he’s to run away. The best place to go would be a convenience store then, so Yuuya slips inside one of the 24-hour ones. Above him he sees CCTV cameras watching his every movement, and he wonders if the police have begun alerting citizens to his crimes. Is he a wanted criminal already? Quickly, he takes out as much yen as he can from an ATM and pays for several bags of snack food.

However, past that Yuuya is stumped. He can’t rely on anyone to keep him safe or else they’ll be in trouble too, and at this late hour anywhere he goes would be a suspicious location. He ends up sneaking down to the river that separates Maiami from Heartland City. It’s wider than the river Yuuya used to play by as a child, and there’s a bridge that stretches from one side to the other to connect the dimensional cities. Yuuya slinks down under the bridge and crouches in the shadows.

Found shelter? Maybe.

Found food? Not really.

He’s pathetic.

Even if the crime hasn’t been reported yet, there’s no saying when the police will alert citizens to his crime. He can’t trust a single person in this city right now, meaning there’s no hotels he can go to, no shops he can visit, without endangering himself. 

_ I can’t even call anyone. _

Yuuya looks down at the water, eyes narrowing. Yoko’s cellphone wasn’t anywhere near her. The criminal must have took it to hide the evidence, if Yoko had any on her to begin with. Maybe Yoko even had information about the criminal on her. If the criminal took her cellphone though, he’d have access to her contacts. She doesn’t have many numbers of friends living in Maiami, but … does she have Yuzu’s number?  Yoko would’ve asked for her number if she wanted it.

_ If I had Yuzu’s number, I could contact her. Not that I should – I shouldn’t get anyone involved. This is my problem to deal with. But … is Yuzu in danger because of me? Have I put even more lives at risk? _

He throws his head back, knocking in on the bottom of the bridge. He’s only made this worse for himself. The past and future are still coated in blood and he hasn’t done a damn thing to save  _ anyone! _

It seems helpless, Yuuya muses. Can he rerun through time once more to save Reira? Can those times ever be repeated again, or is he trapped in this terrible reality where his friends and mother were killed? Never before has Yuuya ever triggered such a large rerun, so maybe it was Yoko’s death that spurred that. But no … Yuuya tried to rerun when he found her corpse and it didn’t change anything.

Then the rerun wasn’t to save Yoko, but to save him, save Reira, save everyone … and it didn’t work. 

A dense fog begins to settle over Yuuya’s head. The darkness wraps him up tight and forces his body to settle. When he closes his eyes, he sees the corpses of his friends, sees the mistakes he’s made in every reality. Yoko told him that all humans make mistakes, and that he should just move forward and try not to make them again, but is that advice useful here? He’s ruined the lives of so many people.

With those thoughts in mind, his head lolls to the side. Exhausted, Yuuya passes out. He doesn’t wake up until he hears the thrum of a bike engine early in the morning, and he panics about being caught. Before the police officer can peek under the bridge to find him, Yuuya scrambles to his feet and disappears around the other side. He doesn’t stop running though: he hurries back down the side of the road, back towards town. His mind races for a new plan: where can he go? Where will he be safe?

His hurried thoughts take him back towards Maiami’s city centre. It’s early enough in the morning that no one looks to be awake; however, it’s busy. Yuuya bows his head and blends into the thrum of bodies manoeuvring down the streets. The harsh lighting of the buildings makes him squint. He hasn’t slept more than a couple hours and his entire body  _ aches  _ from recent events. Soon enough, Yuuya gives up and drags himself into the first cafe in sight.

The first thing he looks for are the CCTV cameras. Thankfully, there aren’t any at one corner of the restaurant; instead, they are clustered anywhere where money could be exchanged. He orders one cup of coffee and a croissant, just enough to get him through the day. When he looks back at the spot though, his anxious mind tells him that someone will see him in the window.

_ I need to get off the street and away from eyes. I need to find someone … _

That someone happens to be his manager. Faker is a friend of sorts, a man who wants to be everyone’s father and works his employees hard. Yuuya’s always thought of Faker as a father-figure, perhaps because in turn Faker treats him like a son. Faker’s own sons have moved out now – Yuuya’s never met them before but he assumes they’re good, smart kids. Unlike all of his co-workers who Yuuya barely knows their first names, Yuuya has been to Faker’s house before. He lives in an apartment near Heartland Tower where his son and partner work. His house is on one of the top floors too, and with no elevator it’s a climb to get up there.

_ I missed work today,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ I’m coming here to apologise to him. That’s my reason. _

When he gets up to the door, Faker ushers him in at once. “Yuuya, so good to see you! You’re not at work though, hm? That’s your first unexcused absence. I never expected that of you, but you’ll make it up to me somehow. Now come on in, come on.” 

Yuuya is seated at the couch before a low coffee table, and before he can fidget wiith his hands Faker hands him a cup of tea.

“You look hungry, let’s talk over food!”

“I –”

Faker is gone off to the kitchen. Yuuya holds his tongue and stares down at his teacup. This isn’t the kind of hospitality he expected for missing work, though he supposes Faker must just want to suck up to him so he’ll work overtime next week. Nonetheless, Yuuya lets his manager fret over him, returning from the kitchen with plates of snacks and leftovers. 

“You didn’t answer your phone when I called,” Faker says as he takes his seat. “What’s up?”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Yuuya apologises. 

“What happened?”

“I … had a fight with my mother. She’s staying with me right now, and both of us don’t see eye to eye. Sorry about burdening you with this.” It’s all Yuuya can say to not draw suspicion to him.

Faker understands at once. “You’re welcome to stay here for a few days, and you’ll keep working.” He winks, and then his face sobers. The thick creases under his eyes and around his cheeks grow tense. “However, you must reconcile with your mother. Family is important, and if you ignore them and don’t forgive, the rift will only get larger. You need to apologise to your family when you’ve done something wrong.”

“Thank you, sir,” Yuuya says, bowing his head low. “I promise to talk to my mother soon. I’m just waiting for our feelings to cool down a bit more. I apologise again that this interfered with my work –”

“Nonsense, you’ll make it up.” Faker takes a sip of his tea, swallows, and then purses his lips. “We need something stronger than tea, don’t you think? Here, lemme see if I have something else …” He hops to his feet again and pads through the flat to the kitchen. Yuuya hears him open the fridge, and a moment later Faker asks, “You want beer?”

Looking over the back of the couch, Yuuya raises a hand. “Oh, no thank you –”

“Good because I don’t have any.”

Oh.

The fridge closes with a dull  _ thud!,  _ and a moment later Faker appears at his side. “I want some, so I’m going to head out for a second to pick some up. You stay here, and when I get back we’ll talk some more. Just hang tight, turn on the TV if you really want to.” With a quick salute, Faker leaves. With just him in his manager’s house, Yuuya feels even more trapped. He looks around and listens for any signs of danger. Is he in trouble here? Is Faker in trouble?

Yuuya reaches out to grab the TV remote and turns it on to the news channel. At once the screens blinks with his mugshot. A well-dressed reporter says, “Last night a woman was found dead inside her apartment. Police were on the scene at once to investigate the crime. The woman was the tenant’s mother. At this time police are unsure of the male tenant’s whereabouts, and are currently looking for him to ask further questions.”

He’s on TV. The news has picked up the report. They aren’t charging him with murder yet, but he’s the prime suspect in this case.

_ I need to go,  _ thinks Yuuya.  _ I’m going to put someone else in danger, I’m – _

There are sirens outside of the apartment, blaring in Yuuya’s sensitive ears. Frantically he runs to the window and peeks through a slit in the blinds. Down below him are two police cars. The officers are already standing outside; one of them is talking to Faker, who appears far too casual in such a dire situation.

Yuuya can’t jump to conclusions, but … Faker ratted him out! The police couldn’t have just happened across his manager's house. Something’s suspicious about this, but Yuuya doesn’t have any time to think. He hurries down the stairs, taking them two or three at a time. When he reaches the lobby floor, he looks around for a back door, anywhere that will take him away from the police. However, before he can think his mind jolts with one thought: run now. 

He takes off through the doors, across the lawn where Faker and the officer are talking, and towards a rock wall. It’s only five or so feet high, short enough that Yuuya can scale it. He runs full-force at it. Just before his hands hit it, Yuuya springs up. His hands push on the top of the ledge and he hoists himself up, over –

_ Crash!  _ He tumbles straight over the edge and lands on his side. Hot pain shoots up along his hip and towards his ribs. It stuns him, leaving him spread out along a road. It’s not as busy here, but in the daylight he’s visible. Before Yuuya even has a chance to get up, a blinding light shoots into his eyes. He can’t see anything but a pair of legs before him.

He’s caught.

The figure kneels down slightly, light still held up to his eyes. “Are you stupid?”

Yuuya blinks. “Y-yuzu?”

She holds the light down to the concrete, casting a shadow across Yuuya’s face. He can see her now though: Yuzu in her delivery uniform, helmet still on her head. Her pink pigtails poke out from the bottom of the helmet. Behind her is her scooter. She must have just been out on her shift.

“Hey, you called me by my first name, Yuuya-san.”

He blushes at the honorific. “Just Yuuya.”

She laughs at that. Her eyes turn to the side, to where Yuuya’s cellphone went flying when he flipped over the wall and landed on this street. She stands up to retrieve it, but before she hands it to him she presses a button on the display. “You should keep your phone off, or else the police can track the GPS in it.”

“T-thanks,” Yuuya tells her. With a groan, he gets to his feet. He’s thankful Yuzu hasn’t found him when any visible blood on him, though he’s sure he’s still a sorry sight to see. Yuzu doesn’t say anything about him though. She hops back onto her scooter and sits there, looking at him standing in the middle of the street.

“Well? Are you going to get on?”

“Get … on?”

Yuzu rolls her eyes. “You’re running away from the police aren’t you? Do you  _ want  _ to get caught?”

He stumbles backwards. He can’t get Yuzu caught –

She has hold on his hand. “I’m helping you, Yuuya. Let’s go.”

And so he lets her. She pulls him onto her delivery cart, only made for one person but they make it fit. Yuuya squeezes in behind her, arms wrapped around her waist. For a fleeting moment he worries that Yuzu too will bring him to the cops to arrest him. He watches every road she turns down, mapping out the streets she takes. However, she doesn’t go anywhere near the city centre or to the police station. She doesn’t even head back to the pizza shop to return her cart. Just like the one time Yuuya took her home, Yuzu follows the same path into the quaint suburbs where she lives.

Just like that dark night so long ago, they park out front of Yuzu’s house. The duel school lights are all turned off save for one of two on the upper level. Yuzu takes his hand and leads him up the stairs. At the door, she puts a finger to her lips.

Yuzu’s house is massive. The lobby of the duel school has room for both a couch and coffee table _ and  _ an office desk for check-in. Further back Yuuya can see a hallway that stretches down towards what he assumes are classrooms, offices, and dueling gyms. He himself has never gone to duel school before, having given up on Duel Monsters as a child. 

Instead of going down that hallway though, Yuzu takes him past the desk and up a small set of stairs. They lead up to the second floor of the building, which is far homier with a kotatsu, a kitchen in the corner, and a smaller hallway where the bedrooms and bathroom must be. She doesn’t stop there though: no, Yuzu then takes him down the hallway and into her bedroom. She decorated it with frills and cuteness and  _ pink,  _ making it seem like a friendly albeit uncomfortable place to be.

She pushes him down to sit on the bed; Yuuya resists for a moment, eyes falling down to the ground. This is wrong. He’ll get Yuzu in trouble – or worse, danger – if he hangs around here. He’s barely hung out with her – why is she helping him?

“Stop being so weird, we’re just friends,” she says. Once she’s got him seated, she takes a seat next to him, sinking into the comforter. “You’re so guilty about everything.”

“I’m sorry, Hiiragi-chan.”

“Like now!” she says, turning towards him. “Call me Yuzu and stop apologising for everything. It’s not your fault all this happened and I didn’t bring you here to throw you a pity party. Besides, I already broke the law by driving you here and hiding you, and I’m OK with that. Honest.” She heaves a sigh of relief, smiling slightly. “I want to help you.”

Looking away, Yuuya tries to focus on something in the room that doesn’t make him feel terrible about his existence. He ends up staring at Yuzu’s books, most of them school textbooks or music composition folders. She’s interested in music and photography, isn’t she? An artsy girl.

“How did you … find out?” Yuuya asks. “You know, don’t you?”

Yuzu nods. “The police came into work this morning to ask Faker about you. They were checking to see where you’d gone, if you’d come in to work, if anyone knew anything about you last night. Don’t trust the manager: he’ll rat you out.”

A hollow laugh. “A bit too late for that.”

“Well.” Yuzu shrugs, letting herself topple back on the bed. “He’s a ‘man of justice’ or some bullshit like that.”

At those words, Yuuya raises an eyebrow. “And you …?” He leaves the question hanging, dangling it as bait. 

She snatches a fan off her headboard and holds it up, hand clenched around the base of it. “You think I believe that? You’re an idiot, Yuuya.” With her free hand, she boost herself to try and look him in the eye. Yuuya tries not to see her pinched lips and narrow eyes. “I don’t think you even  _ could  _ kill your mother, Yuuya.”

“You …”

Yuzu pushes herself all the way up now, body rising to lean in close to him. This time she catches his eyes in her own, staring back with a deep, inner strength. “I believe that you didn’t kill your mother, Yuuya.”

Yuuya tumbles back with a sigh. Her words strike deep in his heart. She … believes him. She’s still in danger for interacting with him, but she trusts him. Even for how little they’ve known each other, Yuuya is surprised she doesn’t doubt him. All the evidence points to him. No one knows much about him or his relationship to his mother. Those few meetings between Yoko and Yuzu couldn’t have made such an impact on her.

“Thank you,” Yuuya says at last. “Thank you for believing me.”

The fan dangling between Yuzu’s fingers drops to the bed. “You’re welcome,” she says with a shrug. “Honestly, I pity you having to run around during this mess. Anyone who knows you knows you didn’t kill her. I bet you’re so frustrated at being chased and framed.”

Laughing, Yuuya says, “I kinda am. It’s pretty hurtful to call someone a murderer.”

“And the boss, damn him, he didn’t believe you. I bet if he just listened to you for a moment, if he really understood how much you care for your mom, he wouldn’t have told the police. Maybe.”

Her words ring in Yuuya’s ears. “How come you knew then?”

A blink. A soft laugh. Yuzu’s fingers toy with the sheets of the bed, her eyes focused on the ripples in the bedspread. “Because I’ve meet you and your mother before, and you both love each other. I had dinner with you guys. I’ve talked with her. I just … can’t see you killing her.”

“Right.” Yuuya’s throat feels tight, and he awkwardly clears it. The space between him and Yuzu has become smaller. “Thanks again, Yuzu, for all of this.”

“No problem. We should be focusing though on why you’re being targeted for this and who’s setting you up. You seem to be connected to these kindsnof things, like you’re some kind of god of death. You were there for that accident in the abandoned building, and then before that when that truck rammed into your bike. And …” She looks up at him, eyes bright. “That book you left in the abandoned building, the one about the missing children. You … lived in that city, didn’t you? You went to school there?”

_ She’s talking about the book I bought about the serial kidnappings,  _ Yuuya realises. Yuzu knows then that eighteen years ago three children were kidnapped and later killed, and that the man framed for it was Tsukumo Yuuma. 

Yuzu keeps talking though. “There was an incident in that book of a girl who died on Girls Day, did you know? Akaba Reira, age 11.”

Yuuya swallows the pit in his throat. Girls Day, March 3 – Reira died on a different day. That rerun wasn’t a dream. He changed fate, and Reira died on a different day. However, it didn’t prevent Reira’s death. It does confirm for Yuuya though that the contents of the book he bought changed, which means he needs that book back. Did other deaths change? What does it say in the book now? Are there more clues to help him catch the killer?

“That’s a talk for another time though,” she says. “You need to rest up first. I have to take the bike back to work, so I’ll be home late –”

“I’ll come with you,” Yuuya says at once. He doesn’t want to imagine someone kidnapping  _ Yuzu  _ in the dark streets.

A hand pushes him back onto the bed though. Yuzu stands above him, eyebrows furrowed. “You’ll do no such thing. You’re wanted Yuuya; if someone sees you, they’ll call the cops. You need to stay in this house until we can think of a better strategy.”

“Fine.”

“You should go to sleep too,” she adds as an afterthought. “I have a spare futon and some blankets that I can get for you.” She heads off towards the door to go get the bedding, and Yuuya pauses. Sleep? In her  _ room? _

“In your room?” he blurts out.

Yuzu turns around, one eyebrow raised. “Yeah, where else do you think you’re going to sleep?”

His cheeks grow redder. “This is … strange.”

Back turned to him now, she heads out of the room and down the hallway. She must not have travelled far, for he can still hear her say, “Yeah, well you’re making this even weirder. Stop overthinking this and just go to sleep.” She reappears in the doorway then, dragging in a futon – where did she even  _ keep  _ that? – and a stack of sheets. She drops them on the ground by his feet and begins spreading out the bedding. When Yuuya doesn’t make any move to get up, she chuckles and says, “You can help, you know that?”

Again, she’s got him blushing. “I-I’ll do it!” he says. “Here, you can drop off the bike now. I’ll fix this up and … sleep here.”

With a wink, Yuzu leans back on her heels. “Sure. I hope you’re asleep by the time I get home. See ya, Yuuya!”

Yuuya waves goodbye to her, and only when she’s gone does he feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. He slumps forward, eyelids heavy, and then drops onto the bed. It’s soft and squishy underneath him. Burying his face into the covers, Yuuya doesn’t even bother to pull up the sheets. He’s tired; every part of him hurts. Right now, all he wants to do is sleep and forget. He wants to dream a proper dream, one where everyone is alive and well and happy. He wants to see Yoko cooking curry for him and his friends in the kitchen. He wants to see Reira and Yuzu sitting together at the table. He wants to imagine a life where no one died and it wasn’t his fault.

But … he can’t.

_ I changed something,  _ Yuuya tells himself.  _ I changed fate, and even if it didn’t solve the mystery, I made a difference. I … need to do that again. I need to go back to 1988 to save everyone, and I need to do it right. I need one more chance to save everyone. So please, give me one more chance. _

The light before him seems so bleak.

Yuuya falls asleep with tears in his eyes, dreading the horrid nightmares he’ll have.


	15. Chapter 15

__

_I believe you were falsely accused._

Yuuya wakes up, blinking as the thoughts drift away from his mind. At first, he’s not sure where he is. He’s on the floor next to a wooden bed, sleeping on a futon. All around him are wooden bookcases and shelves, and a desk in one corner, none of which he has in his bedroom. The walls are decorated with pictures; in one corner are three cases for musical instruments. In fact, many of the things in this room have to do with music: the books, the bedspread, the –

Wait. He’s at Yuzu’s house.

Yuuya remembers now. He remembers running away from his own house after he was falsely accused of murder. He remembers how his rerun failed and sent him back to the present time. And now he’s here, on the run, hiding out in the house of the only person he can trust. Yuzu promised to keep him safe. She _believes_ in his innocence. Thus, Yuuya is safe so long as she can keep a secret and he stays in this house.

However, he can’t stay around here all day. He needs to solve the mystery of the serial kidnappings in 1988, and to do that he needs to rerun once more. Only … Yuuya’s only forced a rerun once, and that was because of Yoko’s death, or so he thinks. Will someone else have to die for his power to react? Does he have to sit around waiting until someone else close to him dies? Yuuya won’t allow that. He won’t let anymore friends die, not in this timeline or any other.

Heaving himself to his feet, Yuuya clambers off his bed. Yuzu isn’t sleeping above him, and a check around the room tells him that it’s past noon. Where would Yuzu be at noon …?

On the desk rests a note with his name written in bold letters. _Yuuya,_ it says, _to not raise anyone’s suspicions, I’ve decided to go about my usual day and pretend that nothing is different. I’m working the day shift today, so I won’t be back until five pm. Today isn’t a duel school day, so my father will be out of the house all afternoon. He should get back by eight pm at the latest; make sure that he doesn’t see you!! Next to the clock there are keys to the house and bike. Take them with you if you go out today, and be careful. You can’t be seen by anyone. If you need help, call me from your cell. My number is –_

Yuuya blinks. He’s … got Yuzu’s number. Looking up from the note, Yuuya spots the keys. Yuzu’s father will already be out of the house, so he won’t have to worry about running into anyone.

 _I need to research the killer in this timeline since there will be more information,_ thinks Yuuya. _But I can’t just run out into the open. I shouldn’t leave the house until I really have to._ His eyes linger over to Yuzu’s open laptop. There’s nothing in the letter saying he can’t go on it, and considering that Yuzu offered her _bedroom_ to him Yuuya doesn’t think he’ll be imposing on her by using the internet. He scooches over to the laptop and settles down in front of it. Pauses. Thinks.

_Where the hell do I start searching?_

What clues has he uncovered about the killer? He knows about the victims, but not about anyone who would do harm to children. The man would have had to be younger eighteen years ago when he killed the three children. So … twenty to fifty year old male? Male?

Yuuya bangs his head down on the desk. What information does he have to go off of? All across the dimensional cities there are reports of kidnapping attempts. It’ll be _impossible_ to narrow down those searches to the few done by the same criminal. The facts he does have to go off are still vague: eighteen years ago, the killer targeted a girl, a nonbinary girl, and a trans boy. All of the children were in fifth grade, and thus still in elementary school. Reira was the first death on March 3, Girls Day.

On the computer Yuuya types in “kidnappings in Heartland City, 1988”. Unfortunately, the search yields kidnappings that were not classified as murders, and thus the bodies were never found. Eighteen years ago, all three victims’ bodies were found. The searches he does bring up articles and messages, but nothing real, nothing that’ll lead him to more clues. After an hour of searching, Yuuya closes the internet and sighs. If he wants good information, he’ll need to go to the library and check out the case files.

 _Yuzu said I could go outside on her bike, but … will the killer be waiting for me?_ While Yuzu is a close friend, that might tip the killer off that he’s hiding there. Has he put Yuzu in danger by staying at her place? She wanted him to though.

With anxious thoughts swirling in his head, Yuuya grabs the keys off the table and hurries out the door. His clothes are wrinkled but thankfully not bloody. He’s too nervous to even think about eating. When he steps outside, he takes a moment just to see if someone will shoot him then and there; when nothing of the sort happens, he sneaks around the side and gets the bike. Being outside in the fresh air makes him feel exposed. He feels naked to the eyes of the public, like at any second someone will call the cops on him and he’ll hear sirens down the streets.

_I’m a wanted criminal, aren’t I?_

Sighing, Yuuya hops onto the motorbike and starts off down the road. In this area, no one should recognise him. He’ll be fine. And what choice does he have anyways? He needs to figure out who killed his friends and mother, and he needs to get back to 1988.

The Maiami Central Library is one of the largest buildings in the city, spanning an entire block and stretching up towards the cloudy sky. Yuuya parks the bike and heads inside the double doors. He’s been here before, but now as a wanted criminal it feels like every pair of eyes is on him. He quickly takes the stairs up to the next level, and wanders between the tall bookshelves towards the case studies and files in the archives. There, Yuuya begins pulling off any book he can find about kidnappings.

If the same criminal kidnapped and killed three children eighteen years ago, and then attempted to kidnap a girl again, then he must still be at large. Not only does Yuuya need to look back in time, but he needs to find all the clues he’s missed over the years. Yoko must’ve known something about this. She was a reporter back in the day, so she’d spot the inconsistencies.

As Yuuya peeks through the books, he comes across several more reports through the years of cases of kidnapped elementary schoolers. Back then, the criminal targeted two girls and one boy: he should look for other kidnappings of girls. As well, Yuuya looks for other similarities: ages, locations, family statuses. Nothing sticks out to him until he begins looking into who was charged as guilty: friends and family, and in every single case the suspects pleaded guilty.

Repeatedly.

Just like Hope.

Yuuya swallows. Just how many of these suspects were falsely accused? How long has this been going on for?

The crime of a bell rouses him from his searches. Overhead, he hears the pleasant voice of an attendant through the intercom: “The library will be closing soon. Thank you.” Since case files can’t be removed from the library, Yuuya leaves them on the table and gathers his belongings. He’s done enough research for today, and he can always come back tomorrow to uncover  more  clues. There’s still the phone number in his pocket that he needs to check out too. If it was with Yoko before she died, it might be important.

Outside, the warm sun waits for him. Yuuya heads to his bike and hops on. It feels strange driving back to Yuzu’s house, like he’s taking all the wrong turns and making every wrong choice he can. Was it wrong to involve her? She wouldn’t have given him a chance to run away on his own. She _trusts_ him, she _believes_ him, and –

_I won’t lose her trust._

* * *

  _"_ _Thank you very much, Mr. Mushi!”_

_“You’re welcome! It’s not a hassle, really! I’ve always been looked after by your family, so I should repay some of that debt, right?”_

_“You’ve done more than enough, for sure! Business is booming, profits are coming in – and all thanks to you and your support! You’ve had your eye on this lil business for a while now, so I’m glad us staff can show you the fruits of our labour.”_

_“And right by the elementary school too! Students are passing by all the time now on their way home from classes. You have big thoughts, Mr. Mushi.”_

Yuzu hears the conversation loud and clear as she walks down the hallway. A smile comes to her lips as she stands just before the open doorway. She and the rest of the delivery staff _have_ been working hard to make this business a success. Faker drives them into the ground with his strict policies and long hours, but at the end of the day Yuzu feels satisfied in what she’s accomplished. Whoever is talking with Faker must be a business associate, someone who’s put money into Maiami Pizza and hoped he’d get a profit back.

 _Looks like it’s worked out well for him,_ she thinks.

Coming around the corner, Yuzu raises her hand in a salute to the two men in the office. The first man is Faker, dressed in a high collar and expensive suit. The other man she doesn’t know, but by the little pin on his crisp suit she can tell he’s a politician. Her father always said that a suit doesn’t dignify a person’s hard work though, so she doesn’t let his rich appearance persuade her thoughts.

“‘I’m off, manager!” Yuzu says. “Have a good day!”

Faker turns around in his seat to wave her off too. “Thanks, Yuzu!” His eyes fall down to a plastic bag in her hands. “What’ve you got there?”

“Oh this?” Yuzu raises the bag up. “Just some delivery pizza. I’m craving pizza for dinner tonight. I’ve already paid for it and put the money in the special box.”

Faker’s eyes widen at that. “Yuzu, you’re too hard of a worker – at least let me treat you once in a while.”

Yuzu laughs at those words, swinging the plastic bag from side to side. “Oh no, sir, I can pay for this. Besides, this pizza isn’t just for me. I’m sharing it with a friend too.”

For some reason, the other man’s eyebrows raise at those words. Yuzu catches it, but it’s Faker who reacts, throwing up both hands and saying, “Right, right a friend that’s a girl. Your girl … friend.”

Rolling her eyes, Yuzu just laughs him off. “Thank you, sir!” She can’t help but laugh as she walks down the hallway, but she stops not a few steps later and listens closely. Those two men – they were talking about something important. Something in Yuzu’s gut has her worried. Maybe it was Faker’s awkward statement about the friend being a girl. Was he thinking about Yuuya too? And if so, is that other man here looking for Yuuya?

“She’s pretty, isn’t she?”

“Haha yeah, she is, but isn’t she a bit young for you?”

Yuzu’s hands tighten into fists, her one hand gripping the plastic handle so tight it could rip. They’re talking about _her!_ Those disgusting, dirty pigs! Faker keeps his pervy comments to himself, she knows that well enough, but this other man makes her skin crawl. Just him having his eyes on her made her shiver. _Dirty creep,_ she thinks.

She waits a moment longer to see if they’ll say anything more, but then the other man says “Well, I’ll be off now,” and Yuzu books it down the hallway and out the shop door. She can’t be acting suspicious, not now. She needs to go about her normal day and not give away any clues that she knows Yuuya’s whereabouts. Of all the employees, she was the closest to him. If that man is a detective, he’d want to question her first. So why didn’t he?

Once she’s outside, she slows her pace so that she can wait for the other man to come out. His car is parked across the street, an old vehicle that makes her stare a moment too long –

He sees her.

 _Shit,_ she thinks, and forces a smile and a wave. _Act natural._

He drives away without another word.

For the rest of the walk, Yuzu keeps her ears pricked for any concerning sounds. She looks over her shoulders to ensure no one is stalking her. Her mind doubts itself at any moment. Should she take a different path home? Should she go home late?

She shakes her head in frustration. No, she needs to think clearly and act naturally. There is nothing wrong. She is going home from work after her day shift –

“Yuzu!”

She jumps out of her skin at her manager’s voice. He comes around the corner on his bike waving at her, and parks it so that she can’t run forward. He looks happy to see her, but Yuzu’s mind is on high alert.

Faker holds out a bag for her. Peeking inside, Yuzu sees two cans of ramune, different flavours too. “Remember that party we had last week? We had leftovers and we need to clear out the fridge. Why don’t you and your friend have these with your pizza? Wouldn’t that be a treat?”

With a smile, Yuzu accepts the drinks. “That’s very kind of you, sir. Thank you.” Yet just as she goes to walk away, Faker reels her back in with another comment.

“Hey, about Yuuya …”

Yuzu freezes. “Yeah?”

“You know what happened to him … and to his mother, right?”

Yuzu nods.

Faker looks down at his hands. From the way the sun’s rays shine on his wrinkled face, he looks several decades too old. “What he did to his mother.” He shakes his head. “No, Yuuya would never do such a thing. He wouldn’t.”

“I agree, sir. I don’t believe Yuuya is guilty.”

Faker’s eyes now stare into hers, looking _through_ her it appears. “If you get in touch with him, I want you to help him. We work as a team, and we need to stick together. Right now he’s in deep trouble, and it’s up to good people like us to support him. If you find him, call me right away so I can help you too. I’ve worked with the law before – I know how to keep him safe.”

“O-of course, sir!” Yuzu says. Hastily, she bows forward. “Thank you, sir.”

“You’re a smart girl, Yuzu. Thanks.” He raises a hand to her, smiling with the sun eclipsing behind him. “You have a good time with your friend now, and enjoy those treats. You deserve it.” With one last wave, he hops back on his motorcycle and takes off down the street. Yuzu stays where she is for a moment just to see where Faker is heading too, and when she’s certain he’s gone she turns and begins walking down the street.

She trusts Faker, and she’ll take any help she can get to protect Yuuya, but he can’t know that Yuuya is with her. Yuuya is already scared of putting people in danger, and Yuzu knows she can save him on her own. With a spring in her steps, Yuzu heads back to her house with the pizza.

 _I should tell Yuuya about the man at the shop,_ she thinks. _That man was a politician, someone with a lot of people. He’s either a valuable ally or a terrible foe – I think the latter just because of how creepy he was being. But I should check with Yuuya first. Maybe he knows him._

Yuzu knows how much of a mess this all is. She’s worried for Yuuya and she’s worried for herself, and most importantly she knows that neither of them have time to mess around. They need to figure out who framed Yuuya and help him prove he’s not guilty.

However …

Yuzu pauses at the edge of the corner, peeking around to see Faker of all people crouched behind a lamppost. He’s right out front of Yuzu’s house too, the creep, holding his phone in his hands. Yuzu doesn’t _want_ to know why he’s there, but she already does. With precise, silent steps she crosses the road. When she’s right behind Faker she reaches over his shoulder and snatches up the cell phone. “What are you doing, manager?”

Faker has the gall to look surprised. He turns around, lips stumbling, eyes widening. One hand reaches out to grab his cell phone, but Yuzu bats it away. “Ah, sorry –”

Her eyes flick to the screen. No, he wasn’t taking a picture … “Maiami Central Police Department? Are you calling the cops on someone, sir? What business do you have with them?” Each word she says with an empathic breath, lips pursed. Her hand tightens on the cell phone, knuckles white. “Answer me, sir.”

He doesn’t get off the ground, but instead shuffles back a few paces to create some space between them. Yuzu closes the distance in one stride, staring over at him. “Last night, _manager,_ I found Yuuya right by your house. He was rather scared, and you were nowhere in sight. Just today you told me that you wanted to save Yuuya too, that you wanted to prove his innocence.”

Hands up in the air, Faker tries to brush her off. “You’ve got the wrong idea, Yuzu! I don’t know why Yuuya was there last night, or – well, it’s for your own … safety, you see. I think it’s best if –”

 _Snap!_ The flip-phone in her hands splits into two pieces. The keyboard becomes disconnected from the screen, rendering the device ineffective. But Yuzu doesn’t stop there: with a low growl, she drops the phone to her ground, right before Faker, and drives the heel of her shoe into it. Glass crackles under her foot. “You lied to me –”

“Yuzu –”

Yuzu winds up and back, and with a cry smashes her fist into Faker’s face. She hears something crack – his nose, she assumes – and she feels resistance from his high cheekbones. The damage is still done though: blood drips down his face and the area bursts red. Yuzu’s hand stings as she pulls it back and shakes it off. “Why didn’t you say so from the start? Don’t lie to me!” This time when she punches him, it sends him tumbling backwards. He grapples at his bloody nose and red face, a few tears pricking at the corners.

“It was … for your own safety,” he says through his hands clamped on his face.

“My own safety? Keep your distance then and don’t say such lecherous things about me around older men.” She rubs her foot across the shattered phone once more. “Don’t call the police,” she hisses. “And” – she comes closer now, standing over him with her fists clenched and her face hardened – “don’t you _dare_ follow me.”

And with that Yuzu storms off towards her house. She yanks the door open and hurries inside, and only when she closes it does she release a breath she'd been holding in. “Yuuya, if you’re up there, don’t come down. Just say yes.”

A moment’s pause, and then there is a ‘yes’.

“I’m going to wait under the Heartland Bridge. Please leave fifteen minutes after me. I’ll meet you there.”

“OK.”

Yuzu grabs her sweater off the hook and hurries back out the door. When she leaves, she checks to make sure the coast is clear. Faker has scampered off and she expects he won’t return anytime soon. There are cars parked up and down the road, but none of them look like suspicious police officers on duty. Heaving a sigh, Yuzu heads off down the road. She and Yuuya aren’t safe at her house anymore.

* * *

 Up in the bedroom, Yuuya’s leg bounces up and down to the beat of his racing heart. He has so many questions to ask Yuzu about why she’s being so suspicious and guarded, but he trusts her to make the right choice. Something happened to her today and they are no longer safe. As much as Yuuya wants to run away from this all though, he knows he needs to believe in Yuzu. She’s helping him.

The clock on the table ticks painfully slow. Fifteen minutes feels like fifteen years sitting in Yuzu’s room. Her parents won’t be home for another hour so Yuuya has nothing to fear, but that doesn’t mean that no one is waiting outside to ambush him. Is there a trap on the other side of the door?

 _No,_ Yuuya thinks, _Yuzu wouldn’t lead me into a trap. She wouldn’t. I need to find her and talk this through, but I can’t rush any of my decisions. If I trust her, I’ll be safe._

When fifteen minutes are up, Yuuya climbs to his feet and descends to the main level. He takes one of Shuuzou’s jackets, both to keep him warm and hide his face. Then with a deep breath in and out, Yuuya opens the front door.

Nothing jumps out at him. Nothing stares at him. Nothing waits across the road ready to shoot and kill him. Outside it is breezy and cool, with the sun clouded over. It looks like a typical day in Maiami City, and Yuuya chuckles to himself as he realises how uptight he’s being. Then his guards go back up and he curls deeper into the coat. No, he can’t lose focus.

He doesn’t look back as he leaves the house and heads towards the docks. He suspects Yuzu will take the regular route down the main path, so Yuuya makes sure to wind his way through a couple side streets just in case someone is following him. Every creak and snap makes him jump, and the goosebumps on his arms and neck don’t disappear. For every face that he sees Yuuya holds his breath. Will they recognise him? Will he get dragged away to the police?

No one notices him. The clouds provide just enough shade to shadow his eyes, and with his head bowed to the slight breeze no one gives him a second glance.

Once Yuuya is at the bridge, he hops down the banks to a small, concrete path leading under the bridge. It’s mainly meant for service staff to repair it, though it’s not illegal for them to be down there. And sure enough, Yuzu is waiting for him. Her knees are pulled up tight to her chest, and she rests her chin on them. When she notices him, she smiles and waves.

“I’m glad you made it,” she says. “It’s not comfy here or anything, but come have a seat.”

With a smile, Yuuya takes a seat next to her. He opens his mouth to thank her, but she beats him to it.

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re … what?” Yuuya blinks. “What are you sorry for?”

“It’s because of me that you had to leave. Our manager was just being nosey as always, but he must’ve caught on that I was taking pizza home for a friend, and since you’re gone and I talk to you, I guess he put two and two together. He came to my house looking for you. I punched him and scared him off, but he still suspects it.”

Yuuya swallows. “It’s not your fault –”

“It is, but it’s OK.” She steels her gaze ahead of her towards the churning, murky waters. “I’ll help you sneak into a hotel. I’ve got spare clothes that my dad can lend you, and I’ll bring you food. Together we’ll find who did this, I promise –”

Yuuya lays a hand on her shoulder. “Thanks, Yuzu, but you don’t have to go to such lengths for me. You’ve done too much already, and I really appreciate it.”

She huffs at his words. “You need more help than even _I_ might be able to give.”

“Besides,” Yuuya continues, “I don’t want to put any more people in danger. If the killer is looking for me, I don’t want him to know I’ve associated with anyone. We can’t be seen together, and the killer can’t know you helped me. Your dad has a business anyways. I’ll be found eventually – you can’t keep hiding me in your room – and then it’ll be an even bigger mess. Just trust me on this.”

“I do.”

“One more thing though …” Yuuya stretches his legs out and rests his arms on either knee. He takes a deep breath in and lets it out like a great gust of wind. “Yuzu, why do you believe me?”

His words make her smile. “Do my words confuse you? I meant to say, ‘I want to believe you,’ not ‘I believe you.’”

Yuuya frowns. Those two mean the same thing, don’t they? “What’s the difference?”

She knocks him on the head for that. “There’s a big difference. If you just believe, it means you do it unconditionally, unintentionally – and that’s not me. I _think_ when I believe, and it’s a _desire_ of mine to believe someone.” She adjusts her position, curling her legs underneath her. “Back when I was really little, my mom and I went shopping in town. We lived in the countryside back then, and everyone knew everyone. It was that kind of quaint place.

“Anyways, we spent the whole day shopping for clothes and groceries, like a monthly shopping trip. Just as we were leaving the marketplace though, someone called my mom over. They said they wanted to talk to her in private, and that she needed to come with him. However, my mom wouldn’t listen to the man and she tried to run away. They claimed she stole a bracelet when in reality it had been on my wrist all along. The shopkeeper wouldn’t believe it though.

“I … had never heard my mom yell before, but she got angry. She got so mad that she ran off without paying, and later the cops came to our house to talk to her. I know she didn’t steal anything because I’ve had that bracelet ever since I was born, but she was framed for it. And I hate, hate, _hate_ seeing people framed for something.”

Yuzu crumples both hands into a ball in her lap, and her head bows forward. “After that, my mother left. She quit her job because they had suspicions, and before she could even talk to my father she ran away. I’ve never seen her since, but I still want to believe in her innocence, just like I want to believe in yours now. It hurt my mom to be labeled as a thief. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

“Yuuya, I choose to believe in people because I too want to believed. It hurts to lose someone’s trust; it hurts to be ostracised, to be caught, to feel lonely and trapped and burdened for something that you never committed. And I can’t stand hearing about that. I think it’s a very scary world to live in if no one believes in you.”

She leans back on her hands now, head facing a bit more forward. “What do you think?” she asks Yuuya, head tilted towards him.

Swallowing the pit in his throat, Yuuya nods. “I … agree.”

She raises an eyebrow. “That’s all you have to say? After I said all that?”

Blushing, Yuuya chuckles. “Well you said it all for me. I feel better knowing that someone here believes me. It makes me feel like I’m not alone, like I’m remembered. Thanks for caring, Yuzu.”

In the soft sunlight, Yuzu’s face glows. There is a single ray of light that slips under the bridge and catches the pinks of her hair and the rose of her cheeks. “It’s a hidden desire of mine that I want everyone to believe in me.”

“I believe in you,” Yuuya whispers to the water currents beneath their feet. He doesn’t realise it’s slipped out under Yuzu begins chuckling, hand pressed to her lips to muffle her laughter.

“That –” She laughs towards the ground. “I wasn’t asking you to say that, silly. I was just telling you that to lighten the mood, not to make you say anything like that to me. You’re so weird sometimes.” With one last laugh, she leans back against the bridge. Her eyes gaze up towards the heavens, and she takes a deep breath. “However, it felt good to hear that. Thank you.”

Cheeks still painfully red, Yuuya mumbles a “You’re welcome.” He shakes his head afterwards, clearing the thoughts jumbling in his mind. “You should go home. Tell the police that I threatened you into this … or something.”

“Are you stupid?” Her voice is loud and clear, and it cuts through the otherwise silent night. “You can’t run away on your own. Don’t say dumb things like that ever again.”

“Don’t call me stupid,” Yuuya says. “I was just thinking about –”

“You’re not thinking of anyone when you say stupid stuff like that,” she interrupts. “After everything we’ve just said, did that all go in one ear and out the other? I’m helping you get free, just as I’ve been helping you all day. I want you to believe in me, Yuuya. Believe in me that I can help you.” She clasps her hands together at those words, holding his attention in place. The sunset sparkles behind her, lighting up her features. “Please, Yuuya.”

“Fine.” He looks away. “Fine, Yuzu.”

Rising to her feet, Yuzu stretches up and cracks the muscles in her shoulders and back. “We’ve been sitting out here for a while, haven’t we? You need to stay here tonight though. I … know it’s not the nicest place to sleep, but the police wouldn’t check here. I’ll bring you some clothes and a blanket, and there’s pizza at my house that we should eat up too.”

“I’ll come with you,” he says. “It’s dark, and it’ll be safer if we travel together.”

For once, she doesn’t argue with him. “All right, come with me then. You’re heading back here alone then, and you can’t come into the house. Just wait around the corner for me.”

They pack up their things and sneak back to the house. At this hour the streets are still empty, but they still take precautions. Yuzu walks a few paces ahead of Yuuya so as to not appear with him, and they avoid major streets with CCTV cameras as much as possible. Once they reach the suburbs, Yuuya trails even further behind so as to not seem like he’s stalking Yuzu. The cops would be even more likely to come, thinking that he is ready to kill another woman.

At the intersection to Yuzu’s street, Yuuya hangs behind and around the corner. From where he is he can see her house. He takes a seat at one of the bus benches and tries not to look anywhere that would seem suspicious. However, anything he does makes him feel exposed. Yuuya feels like there’s a massive sign on him that says WANTED FUGITIVE.

_Now … all I can do is wait._

* * *

Yuzu doesn’t stop when she gets inside. She climbs the stairs up to the main level of the house and heads right into her bedroom. From the closet she yanks out an old bag and begins shoving it with a change of her own clothes. Nevermind what size Yuuya wears – she has baggy jeans and sweaters that should fit him. She doesn't have time to get anything else.

Next she looks for a blanket. She wraps up the sheets and puts that in the bag too. She can’t help but feel a bit sorry for how uncomfortable Yuuya might be right now – he’s probably hungry too. The pizza and drinks are downstairs; she’ll remember those.

 _The manager … never reported me,_ she thinks. All while walking back home Yuzu thought about what might happen. Would Faker and the police be waiting for her and Yuuya? Would her father be interrogated? Like Yuuya, Yuzu doesn’t want to involve anyone else. However, she knows her father would help her out in times of crisis. He’d believe in her, and he’d take care of her and Yuuya.

Right now, she needs to keep believing in what she can do. Yuuya will begin looking for the person who framed him, and she’ll help however she can.

_Bing!_

Yuzu glances over at her phone, its display screen facing up and lighting. Curious, Yuzu picks it up.

There’s a new message on the screen from Sakaki Yoko, reading “This is Sakaki Yuuya. Stay right where you are.”

 _Sakaki … Yuuya?_ Yuzu blinks and rereads the message again. Yuuya should be just outside waiting for her. Has he spotted danger? Is he alerting her that it’s unsafe for him to stay in her neighbourhood, and that they need to separate? Is Yuuya in danger? However, it’s from _Yoko’s_ phone. As far as Yuzu is aware, Yuuya doesn’t have his mom’s cell phone.

Yuuya doesn’t have her cell phone.

The only person who could have it then would be the killer. “Stay right where you …” Something strong catches in her nose, and Yuzu raises a hand to it. Dark, thick smoke plumes under the door, rising up to the ceiling. There is just enough space under the door for flames to reach too: they hungrily lick at her carpeted floor.

“No,” Yuzu thinks. Her house, her father’s duel school – it’ll go up in flames. She rushes to the door to yank it open. Thick, black smoke assaults her nose and mouth, choking her lungs. The heat on the other side of the door burns her skin. She drops to her knees in pain, eyes watering. Everything is hot. It suffocates her, dragging her down to the burning ground.

No, everything is on fire. Yuzu can’t see anything beyond her hands. She has the phone though. She has the message from Sakaki Yoko’s phone, the clue from the killer. Yuzu’s grip tightens on the phone; her other hand moves to cover her nose and mouth. She needs to keep this phone safe. She cannot let anyone have it.

_I want to believe in myself and Yuuya._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> greeting from Ireland XD i've been away on vacation, so i'm surprised this got up on time. i didn't get a chance to reply to everyone's kind messages, but i'll get to them when i'm home ^^ cheers!

Yuuya waits at the bus stop, head held in his hands, for Yuzu to return. He makes himself as small as possible, blending into the growing shadows. Each breath he takes is soft, a whisper that catches in the evening breeze. She said she wouldn’t be long, though who knows how much stuff she’ll bring out for him … or how much he’ll need. Yuuya hopes he won’t have to stay homeless for long. He’s got a plan to find shelter.

However that still doesn’t abate the fear that he is on the run. The longer he hides, the more suspicious he becomes. The police wouldn’t dare listen to his pleas of not-guilty; they’ll put in him jail the moment their dirty hands touch him. As long as Yuuya lives in this dimension, he’s a wanted criminal.

_ That’s why I need to go back,  _ Yuuya tells himself.  _ I can’t change time here. I can’t  _ live  _ in a dimension that wants me killed. I need to find a way to get back to before the deaths, back to 1988 when this all started. I need to keep everyone safe. I need … one more chance. _

Sitting around just makes him feel useless and guilty though. Yuuya stands and begins pacing up and down the bus platform, watching his flickering shadow on the worn pavement. Yuzu is taking  _ forever  _ and he’s dying to get moving. He can’t be out this late at night, especially since he lives just a neighbourhood over.

_ What if she’s hurt?  _ As soon as Yuuya thinks that, his heart jumps up into his throat. If Yuzu is hurt, she won’t be coming to help him. She won’t tell anyone his location, but Yuuya isn’t going to watch her get in trouble for helping him. He’ll come clean to preserve her innocence. No one else can go missing in this dimension!

Growling under his breath, Yuuya stalks down the road towards her house. It doesn’t matter now if she yells at him for leaving. He needs to know that she’s safe, that she’s just dawdling and dragging too much crap behind her. He needs to know that she’s not in trouble for helping him. He needs –

Smoke. It hits him in the face as he walks around the bend. Yuuya heaves over coughing into his fist. His eyes water when it gets into his mouth. Peeking through his fingers, Yuuya sees that the smoke is blowing both sideways and upwards, filling the sky with thick smog. Every star disappears behind the smoke. Looking back down, Yuuya sees the house it’s coming from – the large, oddly-shaped house with the glass window in the bedroom.

Yuzu’s house.

Yuuya breaks off in a run, charging across the street towards the burning building. The police and firefighters aren’t on the scene yet, but several neighbours have come out with their cell phones to call for help. Yuuya bypasses them though, snatching a handkerchief from one of the women. He positions the cloth over his face and takes a few slow breaths.  _ Calm down,  _ he thinks.  _ You need to save Yuzu. _

Then he charges into the building.

At once Yuuya feels the heat on him, blistering the exposed skin of his arms and neck. His eyes water from the smoke, and he squints through the flames. The lower level of the house is already destroyed, the fire snaking down the long hallway. The stairs leading up to the second level though are blessedly still there. 

“Yuzu!” Yuuya calls up. “Yuzu, answer me!”

Over the roar of the burning flames, Yuuya can barely hear his own voice. He takes the steps two at a time, wincing at the heat that emanates from the ground and walls. On this level the fire has snaked up the walls and into the kitchen. It travels down the hallways too, filling the entire room with thick, choking smoke. Yuuya coughs twice into the cloth and screams out Yuzu’s name again. 

At the top of the stairs, Yuuya can’t see much more than a few feet ahead of him. He glances around for any sign of Yuzu or her father on the ground, but neither of them are present. No, her father is out of the house until later. Yuzu must be in her room then. 

_ If there’s no rerun, does that mean … Yuzu is still alive? _

Yuuya drops to the floor to breathe in the cleaner air. On his hands and knees, he crawls across the room. Bits of ceiling flake off and land on his cheeks; it burns his skin, and he flinches from the pain. Even being on the floor makes blisters appear on his hands and knees. 

“Yuzu, answer me!”

Halfway down the hallway, Yuuya spots a hand peeking through the smog. Hurriedly, Yuuya crawls over to Yuzu’s body. Her eyes are closed but she’s breathing, albeit weakly. Yuuya removes the cloth from his own face and presses it against her nose and mouth. “Breathe, Yuzu. We’re getting out of here –” He coughs from the smoke and presses his lips together. He needs to conserve what little air he has; he’ll explain it all to her later.

Slowly, Yuzu’s blue eyes roll open. She blinks once at him, like she might be dreaming of him rescuing her, and she reaches a hand into her pocket. She holds out her cellphone and then drops it into his own pocket.

“Wha –” Yuuya doesn’t have time to ask her questions. He holds his breath and crouches down low. With his free hand he scoops under Yuzu and tries to cradle her to his chest – only Yuzu is solid  _ muscle,  _ he realises, and she’s heavier than he thought, and so carrying her becomes a problem. Quickly Yuuya resorts to dragging her down the hallway by tucking his hands under her armpit; the other hand keeps the handkerchief pressed over her nose and mouth. All around them the flames lick at their bodies.

_ I won’t let you die. _

Yuuya tugs her forward to the end of the hallway and across the living room.

_ I don’t want to see another person die before my eyes.  _

He makes it to the top of the stairs, crouching to begin pulling her down the staircase and to the first floor.

_ I don’t want to be responsible for another death, so Yuzu,  _ wake up!

Just as Yuuya pulls Yuzu down the staircase, cradling her head against his inner arm, another hand comes to hold her opposite shoulder. Next to Yuuya is Faker, a bandana tied over his nose and mouth. Under it though, Yuuya can see a large bruise right across his face. It looks like he walked into a wall and broke his nose! On top of that, his mad-scientist hair is singed in places from running through the burning house, though he’s probably in far better shape than Yuuya himself.

Faker gives him a push away from Yuzu. “You entertainers are so unreliable. Help me take her down the stairs.”

Face firm, Yuuya nods. The smoke burns in his lungs and he coughs as he braces Yuzu’s head against both arms.  _ She’s going to be OK,  _ Yuuya tells himself.  _ She’ll make it through all right. In the end, I’ll save her. _

At the bottom of the stairs, Faker stops him from pulling Yuzu’s body through the door. “There’s another exit at the end of that hallway, a backway out of the duel school. You need to get out before the police see you.” He pushes Yuuya towards the hallway. “Get out. I don’t want you involving Yuzu anymore in this – she’s still a child in my books.”

Yuuya bites his lip at those words.  _ Yuzu is a  _ woman, he wants to say, but he holds his tongue. He takes a step back and begins to turn, when he hears Faker’s voice once more over the roaring flames.

“Don’t I deserve a ‘thank you’? I did save both of your lives.”

“ … thank you,” Yuuya spits out. Then he charges down the hallway, through the burning flames that scald his skin, and through the back door. He doesn’t turn around once, doesn't look back at Faker carrying Yuzu out of the house and taking credit.  _ Yuzu is an adult,  _ Yuuya thinks,  _ and she’ll involve herself if she wants to. You’re not her father. _

Yuuya doesn’t stop running once he’s out of the house. He hurries down dark streets and through lonely parks, looking for anywhere that might look like a safe place to camp out for the night. In the end though, nothing looks appealing or safe, and Yuuya is forced to check into a small, family-run inn. He’s both famished and exhausted at the family’s doorstep, and they take him in at once and serve him hot soup and tea.

“Are you hurt?” they ask him.

Yuuya’s eyes shift down to his singed clothing. His lungs hurt, but he hasn’t inhaled too much smoke. No flames are still burning on him, and anywhere where the fires licked him hasn’t blistered. “I think I’m OK,” he says, “I just … need to sleep for a bit.”

The family takes him upstairs to a small room with one bed and a shelf, with a low light hanging from the ceiling. It’s more comfortable than anywhere else Yuuya could imagine sleeping, and he gratefully drops onto the bed. Exhaustion seems to seep from his bones; he can barely lift his head from the blankets now, eyes drooping forward. When has he last had a proper sleep? Before Yoko came to visit him? How long has be been running? How long …

When Yuuya wakes up, it’s the early hours of the mornings when the sun is just peeking over the mountains and through the window. Yuuya leaves a note of thanks for the people who graciously offered him the or house for the night, and at five a.m. departs. He’s not sure where he’s going at first; in the wee hours of the morning, the only people out on the streets are salary workers heading to their offices. In the end, Yuuya can’t find a place to stay where he doesn’t feel exposed, and he heads to a park to sit down.

Last night …

He squeezes his eyes closed. Last night Yuzu’s house caught on fire and she was trapped inside. Last night he ran in after her, and on the way out Faker caught them. Yuuya knows that his manager won’t lay a finger on Yuzu; he can’t be the criminal since he’s too earnest. However, Yuuya worries that, with Yuzu in the hospital, she won’t be able to help him anymore. He won’t be able to rely on her to get him a place to stay, and they can’t work together to solve the case. The hospital should be a safe place for her, but for as long as she’s there, Yuuya won’t be able to see her.

Scratching his head, Yuuya tries to recall anything from those events. The fire … did the killer set it? Did that criminal set Yuzu’s place on fire to take another victim? Eighteen years ago, he targeted three elementary schoolers. Now though, Yoko and Yuzu are as different as Yuuya can imagine. The only similarity is that they’re both important to him.

Yuuya’s fist clenches. Important to him – is that what the killer is targeting? Well it’s not like Yuuya can just run away from his friends and family. He can’t stop Yuzu from helping him: she’ll make those adult choices on her own. 

Swallowing, Yuuya’s hand dips inside his pocket. When they were in the burning house together, Yuzu slipped her cellphone into his pocket. She couldn’t say what she wanted at that time, but Yuuya remembers the strong stare she gave him. She wasn’t giving him the phone as a memento; no, she found a clue! Just like Yoko, she found something that made her a target of the criminal. It makes Yuuya’s blood boil that anyone involved in this case has become a target. However, he did the best he could: he saved Yuzu.

He flips open the phone and peers at the screen. Right on the front screen is the most recent message, the same message Yuzu would have last seen. It’s a text from Sakaki Yoko, reading “This is Sakaki Yuuya. Stay right where you are.” The timestamp is for 19:25, just after she would’ve gotten into the house.

Yuuya swallows. The killer has his mother’s cell phone. His mom had Yuzu’s number, probably from when they were making curry together that one night. However, that doesn’t explain why Yuzu was targeted. How did the killer know Yuuya was involved with her?

The fire … Yuuya shivers at the memory of crawling along the floorboards towards Yuzu’s room. He’d briefly seen her room before he began dragging her away, but Yuuya swears the smoke was thickest in that room. If the criminal was planning on killing Yuzu, he would’ve tried to set her room on fire. That would mean he knew where her room was, which means … this wasn’t an accident. 

_ The criminal was around here. He  _ followed  _ her.  _ Goosebumps crawl up Yuuya’s spine. Where is the criminal now? Does he know where Yuuya ran to? Did he see Yuuya run out the back door and down the streets? What if the killer is stalking him now, watching his every move, waiting for an opportunity to pin Yuzu’s near-death experience on –

He pinches his cheeks, burying his face in his lap.  _ It’ll do no good to panic,  _ he reasons. The criminal must be living nearby if he has time to figure out where Yuzu lives and which room she sleeps in. Therefore, Yuuya shouldn’t have to look far to find a mysterious man. Most importantly, now he has two clues. 

One, the criminal knows who he is, and who he is closest to. He’s being watched.

And two, Yoko and Yuzu both had clues. That was why they were targeted. Yoko found out something before her death, related to the phone number she wrote down. Yuzu must’ve seen something or someone – Yuuya suspects it might’ve been like the time he asked Yoko to look for danger outside of the supermarket.

Either way, it hurts thinking of his friends in danger. Yuuya never expected to drag anyone into this horrible mess, though it’s not like Yuzu or Yoko would have let him burden this alone. And Yuzu … she’s alive. Yuuya’s actions still saved her, and for sure once she’s better she’ll want to help him again. 

Yuuya tugs out the paper slip from his pocket. Yoko wrote a phone number there, one that wasn’t in her cell phone directory. Who could it be then? An old friend? A business number? Either way, Yuuya knows that this is a clue he needs to check out. This number was something that the killer didn’t see as important to take, but it was important enough to be with Yoko at the crime scene.

He taps the number into his cell phone and holds it up to his ear. At first, all he hears is the generic dial tone, and then a man’s voice speaks up: “Hello?”

Yuuya swallows. 

“Hello?” the man says again. “Who is this?”

“... Sakaki Yuuya.”

He hears a breath on the other line. “Oh. So you’re Sakaki Yuuya. Nice to meet you. I’ve been waiting for your call.”

_ What?  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ This guy … knows me?  _ “Huh?” Yuuya ends up saying because his tongue is tied by the thoughts swirling in his mind.

“You want to meet up and talk?” the man says.

“S-sure.”

“Not here though. Let’s meet at Tea for Two, just in the centre of town. Trust me, no one will be looking for you in plain sight. You’ll be safe there. How about going there in a few hours?”

The conversation is flying too fast for Yuuya to keep up with it. “But wait … you haven’t introduced yourself yet.” Yuuya’s hand clenches round the cell phone. “Who are  _ you?” _

“I’ll do it then,” the man says. 

Yuuya is quick to retort, “Why?” An anxious feeling bubbles in his gut. Who is this man and what does he know? How is he involved in the case, if he even is involved at all? Can Yuuya trust this man? Could  _ Yoko  _ trust this man?

A chuckle on the other end of the phone. “Well,” the man drawls, “I don’t know if you’re Sakaki Yoko’s killer or not.” The line falls silent for a moment before there’s another hearty chuckle. “Well, see you in a bit, Yuuya.”

_ He used my first name,  _ Yuuya thinks as the conversation ends. He hovers the phone away from his ear, replaying the man’s words over and over in his mind. The voice sounded mature, like a man of Yoko’s age. Perhaps a distant friend then. However, there were no street sounds in the background, meaning the man was somewhere in a building. Work, home … Yuuya leans forward and breathes heavily through his nose. 

After a moment though, Yuuya drags himself to his feet and begins walking back towards the city centre. He needs to get to the cafe. He needs to have an escape route too in case this man is a police officer, or worse, the criminal. However, Yuuya reminds himself as he’s walking that this man is taking a dangerous step too: Yuuya could have been the killer calling to kill off Yoko’s friend.

_ I’ll just have to see when I get there. _

Sure enough, the city seems to glance over him and Yuuya blends into the crowds. He weaves between shoppers and business workers on their breaks towards a street lined with bakeries and cafes. Even just walking down the path Yuuya can smell fresh rolls and hot comfort food. 

The specific cafe he’s looking for – Tea for Two – is a European-style shop with little, round tables around the main area. There’s a glass counter under which Yuuya sees dozens of freshly baked goods: cupcakes, cakes, rolls, buns. Mouth-watering smells come from the kitchen behind the counter. 

“Hey,” a man says, raising his hand. “We talked over the phone.”

Yuuya’s head snaps searching for the man and – 

He’s young, looking even younger than  _ Yuuya,  _ but his voice sounds a couple decades too old. His glasses perch on his nose, big spectacles that his large, grey eyes peer through. He wears little more than a white polo shirt and a green scarf tied loosely around his neck and draping over his shoulder. When Yuuya just keeps staring at the guy, he raises his teacup and says, “Come on over.”

This … isn’t who Yuuya expected to meet.

Cautiously, Yuuya takes a seat opposite the man, who gives him a short bow. “Durbe, former TV Heartland reporter. It’s good to see you. I’m glad to see that you came and that I didn’t scare you away.” He takes a deep sip from his teacup and smiles over the rim of it. “You look like your mother, you know that? Same face, same smile.”

_ My …  _ Yuuya remembers this guy. Eighteen years ago, which felt like merely a few days ago, Yuuya saw Durbe and Yoko on the porch together.  He had come to talk to her about the disappearances and TV Heartland’s stance on reporting the cases. Back then, Yuuya didn’t know who this guy was, and frankly he didn’t care compared to the guilt he’d felt over losing Reira. Now though, Yuuya sees this man as a formidable ally.

However, before Yuuya can say more Durbe says, “You’re a bit worried, aren’t you? You must’ve had quite the hectic few days. You should know though that I trust you, so long as you trust me. I also didn’t kill your mother.”

Yuuya wants to say that he knew that: this man is too small and slender to have vaulted over the fence and ran away from Yuuya. No, this man worked with Yoko. He was her colleague.

It doesn’t ease the anxiety in his stomach though. Folding his hands, Yuuya says, “How come you don’t suspect me? How can I trust you?”

Durbe smiles at him. “I appreciate your wariness, Yuuya. You’re in a difficult position. That question though …” He stirs his tea with a delicate flick of his wrist. “Your mother would have never raised a son who would kill her.”

“Oh.” It’s all Yuuya can say. He can’t argue with him, and Durbe’s smile widens.

“Now that we’ve properly met, why don’t you come up to my office? We’ve got a few things to discuss now, don’t we?” He takes the last sip of his tea and sets it down on the saucer with a gentle  _ clink!  _ “Thank you for trusting me. I had hope you would call me looking for your mother, or at the very least get you to a clue that brought you to me.” 

Yuuya stands on shaky legs and follows Durbe out of the cafe. Durbe isn’t much taller than him, a flimsy kind of guy that even the wind could pick up. However, Yuuya sees an inner strength deep within him. If he worked with Yoko, he must’ve had some guts. If he was a reporter, he’d take risks. However, Yuuya sees loyalty shine in his eyes as he leads Yuuya up to a great, towering business centre and up the elevator. When the doors open Yuuya is surprised he isn’t in space.

“Follow me,” Durbe says, leading him down a long hallway with dozens of doors. Yuuya’s eyes can’t keep track of all the details, the names, the decorations in this massive building. Before he realises it he’s in Durbe cramped office, tucked into a cosy leather chair with his knees bumping against a solid oak desk. Durbe sits on the other side in a large computer chair, hands folded before him. “You’re looking a little overwhelmed,” he says. “Water?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “No thanks, sir –”

“Durbe.”

A head bow. “Durbe.” Yuuya’s eyes flicker around the room. “This building is part of TV Heartland?”

Durbe raises a finger to that. “I’m a former TV Heartland reporter. I quit shortly after those disappearances eighteen years ago, when it hit a dead end. I moved here – what was it? – fourteen years ago, I think, and I’ve been working for TV Maiami ever since. That doesn’t mean though that I don’t have any interest in those files though. When your mother called me –”

Yuuya’s head raises. “She did?”

And Durbe blinks at him. “She did.”

Scrounging around inside his pocket, Yuuya pulls out the folded-up paper on which Yoko wrote Durbe’s phone number. “This is how I found you,” Yuuya explains. “But …” Yuuya hesitates. “If I speak to you, will I put you in danger?” Suddenly, this man is important to Yuuya. He’s Yoko’s coworker, someone he can trust. The last person Yuuya trusted was Yuzu, and she’s now in the hospital probably being treated for burns from an arson attack. If Yuuya trusts someone else, will they be targeted too? Will Yuuya hurt someone else by getting them involved?

Across the table, Durbe taps a pencil against the desk. “You probably think I’m in danger, right?”

“Y-yes.”

Durbe shrugs to that. “I was already involved when Yoko called me. If the killer took her cell phone –”

“He did.”

“ – then he can just look through her mobile history and see that she made a call to me just a few hours before she was killed … and that’s if the killer wasn’t already watching her beforehand and eavesdropping on the situation. You don’t need to worry about putting me in danger, Yuuya. I’ve been a part of this case for eighteen years.”

The words only settle the tiniest bit of guilt in Yuuya’s heart. With a heavy sigh, Yuuya clenches his hands together. “I’m ashamed of myself,” he admits. “The last person I involved got hurt from this and it’s my fault. It’s my fault all of this is going wrong, that the killer could find me at any moment, that the police are chasing after me. I’ve made so many mistakes.” Closing his eyes, Yuuya sees the faces of his friends. He didn’t change anything: Reira, Yuuri, and Yoko are still dead. “I’m sorry, Durbe, but I can’t just push the pressure off my shoulders when it truly is my fault this has all gone so wrong.”

“Fault?” Durbe’s voice strikes a high note. He doesn’t say more though.

Curling up into a tighter ball, burying his face in his arms, Yuuya nods. “Yes, my fault.”

“It’s not.”

A sniffle. More than anything, Yuuya wishes he had his Odd Eyes goggles to pull over his wet eyes. “I’m sorry, sir, but –”

The wheels of the chairs scritch back against the carpeted flooring. “It’s not your fault. You just think so because you’re so self-centred. You’re hard on yourself because you don’t want to hurt anyone else.”

Yuuya raises his head and peers through his bangs.  _ Those words …  _

Durbe smiles. “I look ahead positively.” He chuckles at that though, a light sound from a youthful face. “Well, at least that’s what Yoko would say. Those were my favourite words she taught me, and I bet she’d tell you the same thing too.”

_ She would. Mom would tell me that when I’m done moping I should start thinking about how to keep moving forward. She would tell me that mistakes happen, that I can’t stop them, but that I should keep living my life learning from those mistakes. _

_ This Durbe guy … I trust him a little bit more. _

To the side, Yuuya’s eyes spot a group photo of six business workers, all dressed in suits. Yuuya spots his mother at first, the only one with wild hair because Yoko only adhered to half of the rules of the company; everyone else has smooth hair, pulled back or flattened down. Durbe is there too, meaning this must be a photo of the TV Heartland reporters.

“Durbe,” Yuuya says, “can you tell me what Yoko told you on the phone?”

Yuuya expects him to say no, or to skirt around the question; however, Durbe answers immediately: “Sure. She was calling about the Heartland case, the one where three children were kidnapped and later killed in Heartland City eighteen years ago. Do you know of the case?”

Yuuya nods. “I … went to school with two of the victims.”

“OK, so you know that Tsukumo Yuuma was charged guilty for those three crimes, right?”

“Yes.”

“Your mother didn’t think so. She said back then, all those years ago, she believed it because there was no other evidence. However, she said it had been playing on her mind what  _ you  _ said about Tsukumo being not guilty, and she started thinking maybe we got it all wrong. She had some suspicions, but” – Durbe holds out a hand as Yuuya jumps forward – “she didn’t give me any names. She wouldn’t: it would be dangerous for her, an ex-reporter, to be throwing around false evidence. 

“I think, Yuuya, that she was trying to keep the evidence a secret to save herself. I bet you she knew she was being watched, and that’s why she was so careful about talking to me. She knew that by calling out the killer’s name she would put herself in immediate danger. I don’t think though that she knew she would die that night. We were to meet the next day to discuss the case.”

Yuuya settles back in his chair. “Durbe, do you have the case file with you?”

He nods. “I was going to bring it with me when I met Yoko. Do you think there’s a clue inside it?”

“Maybe,” Yuuya mumbles. What he’s most curious about is what’s  _ different  _ in this case. Eighteen years ago in another timeline, Reira died March 1. Yuuya changed that date to March 3, and he wonders how that altered the other disappearances. Did the other kidnappings still happen? Did they happen on different days? 

Reaching into a drawer in his desk, Durbe pulls out a thick folder that he hands to Yuuya. “There’s a summary on the first page that might help you.”

Yuuya takes them with a bow. He flips open the binder, and sure enough on the front page is a handwritten summary called “Heartland 1988 Serial Kidnappings”.

_ On March 2, 1988, Akaba Reira was locked in a closed storage room after Akaba Himika and her boyfriend beat her. They then hid her in the storage room outside of the house. The initial suspects were Himika and her boyfriend. However, it was later found that Reira was taken from the storage room between 10-11 pm on the 2nd. No one noticed until 12:30 am on the 3rd, when Himika casually called Sakaki Yoko and asked about her daughter's whereabouts. _

_ It was then determined that Reira was kidnapped by Tsukumo Yuuma. The footprints outside of Yuuma’s house, from thick winter boots, matched the same footprints outside of the shed where Reira was put into.  _

_ Tsukumo Yuuma’s modus operandi is as follows. Because Reira had been beaten beforehand, she could not escape when he took her away. He put her in a commercial freezer, one of his family’s where they store goods for their shop, and left her to freeze. Blood was later found in the freezer from Reira’s open wounds. To speed up the freezing process, Tsukumo sprayed her with water. He waited approximately 30 minutes to ensure resuscitation was impossible, and then he carried her frozen body back to the storage room where Himika had locked her inside.  _

_ Just before seven am, Himika discovered the body. _

Yuuya slaps the book down on the desk. “Hope would  _ never  _ do such a thing!” he shouts.

Durbe nods. “I agree.” He glances down at the case file. “I have some thoughts about this case. Care to hear them?”

Yuuya nods, joints stiff. He refuses to look down at the binder. Those lies – those mistakes. Yuuya  _ knows  _ Yuuma would never hurt someone. He was Reira’s friend, looking out for lonely children who rested on the outskirts of friend grounds.

Durbe motions to the chair. “Take a seat.”

Yuuya sits down with a  _ thump! _

“So after Reira, there were three more victims in the town next to us. The criminal was arrested quickly. Tsukumo Yuuma denied those three crimes as well. Now then, if we can assume that the real culprit is not Tsukumo Yuuma, and that the real culprit is somehow involved with your case …” Durbe smiles. “Do you see what I mean?”

Yuuya does. “If Tsukumo was framed and I’ve been framed …”

“Maybe those deaths were both from the same killer.”

Durbe nods. “I’ve been researching this case on my own. What’s on the desk are hundreds of case notes, interviews, all done on my own time. You see, Yuuya, those cases eighteen years ago were all closed, even though each and every criminal pleaded not guilty. Just like in your case, they were framed. It’s not a far stretch of the mind to say that perhaps this culprit had committed multiple murderers and framed innocent people – friends and family members of the victims.”

“And that killer is here, in this city.” Yuuya rolls his shoulders back, feeling the bones creak and crack. “Just like eighteen years ago, only this time it’s me and not Hope.”

“I’m very confident in this hypothesis,” says Durbe, “but I have no proof.” He laughs softly to himself, running a hand through his grey hair. “I’ve been called odd for looking at closed cases, but sometimes I think there are mistakes in them, overlooked clues or biased judgments. And all these cases of serial kidnappings with suspects pleading guilty? That’s a pattern I can’t ignore.”

Yuuya understands that feeling. When he closes his eyes, he sees the faces of his friends and mother. They need him to solve this case. If he gets the details, then maybe he can rerun once more with more knowledge to catch the criminal properly.

It must be a look Yuuya has in his eye, for Durbe leans close. “Yuuya, this criminal is dangerous. He’s crafty. You’ve already experienced his strategy. He sets up another suspect for the convenient time frame, misleads witnesses, and changes the crime scene. It’s like a game for him, like some sort of sick entertainment. Each and every time he’s led the investigation away from him.

“Oh, and Yuuya, she was talking about your testimony too.”

“My testimony?” Yuuya echoes. “From eighteen years ago?”

“That’s the one. Even though she wasn't a reporter at the time, she was helping me with the case. We both thought that the criminal involved in this case wasn’t a first-time offender because of the complexity. Back then, there were many suspects – a list, in fact – and it hadn’t been narrowed down to solely Tsukumo Yuuma. This was right after that little boy Yuuri disappeared. She listened to my thoughts that day, but then …”

He frowns. “Then she distanced herself. It might’ve had to do with your testimonial against the case. You told the police that Tsukumo Yuuma couldn’t have committed these crimes, but you had no proof. They listened to the voice of a child and thought of you as simply Tsukumo’s friend. Your mother stopped focusing on the case. She prioritised you. Do you remember?”

Yuuya nods. He remembers walking out of the police station hiding his eyes behind his goggles. Yoko had her arm around his shoulder and his head bumped into her leg. Ever since that day, she tried to be there for him.

What did she say back then?

_ “Yuuya, the criminal has been caught. Please forget all this.” _

_ “He didn’t, Mama.” _

Durbe hums under his breath. “Physical evidence, alibis – Tsukumo Yuuma was the perfect criminal for this serial kidnapping case. Every piece of the puzzle fit. I bet if she looked hard through that evidence, Yoko could’ve found something. However, her priority was you, so she ignored it all and dropped the case. I don’t hold it against her though. A mother’s duty it to take care of their child and support them.

“Yuuya, this case wasn’t your fault. None of it was. That’s what Yoko’s been telling you, and what I’m telling you now. You weren’t responsible for any of these deaths. If you’re mad at her for letting that case go, understand that she did it for you. She wanted to be there for you of all people. She always has been, hasn’t she?”

Tears leak down Yuuya’s face. His mother had been with them all the time; yes, she has. She took care of him, listened to him, supported him – she was doing the best she could to keep  _ him  _ safe for all those years, even if it meant dropping everything else.

“I don’t hate her,” Yuuya mumbles. “I’m not mad.” His eyes flick upwards, to where Durbe sits with his hands folded together.

“Yoko was your mother more than anything else, more than a co-worker or a reporter. You were most important to her.”

* * *

_ Blink. Blink. _

Yuzu’s eyes flicker open. She’s been awake many times before, and this sight is no different than the last few times. She’s in the hospital, hooked up to tubes and IVs. Scratchy, white bandages cover her arms. There’s a oxygen mask over her face from the smoke inhalation, though she’s breathing fine now. Her throat hurts though; she coughs into her hand, bracing her other hand against her chest to feel her lungs spasming. When the fit is over, she wipes her hand against her pant leg and resumes sitting up. Her father must be at work, though she knows he’ll come back later to check up on her.

Sitting up though makes her head hurt. With a groan, Yuzu raises a hand to her head and considers flopping back into the sheets. She can breathe, albeit hoarsely and with her lungs threatening to heave at any moment. 

Softly, Yuzu whispers, “Dad?” She coughs once more into her hand, feeling like something is crawling up her throat. “Dad?”

Just outside of her room, Yuzu hears voices. She wonders if Shuuzou might be there talking to the nurses. She feels well enough to check it out, at least. Carefully, Yuzu slips her legs over the edge of the bed and sets them on the ground. She makes sure not to tangle herself in the IV attached to her arm, and using the wheeled IV stand as a support, she gets up and begins to walk to the door.

Outside, Yuzu doesn’t see anyone at first – or at least, she doesn’t see her dad. There are a few people milling around this hallway, and a group of businessmen standing a few feet away.

Her eyes catch on the door. There’s room for a nametag, but … Yuzu’s name isn’t there.  _ Strange,  _ she thinks.  _ It’s not like I  _ just  _ got here.  _

“ … sir, that girl must have critical information. She could be targeted again to be silenced.”

Yuzu’s ears prick up at the words of the businessmen. There’s no one else around, and just the way they talk, the feel they give off, Yuzu knows they’re talking about her. She slips back into the room, careful not to make any sound, and presses her ear to the doorway.

“We’ve found the fingerprints of Sakaki Yoko, Sakaki Yuuya, and Hiiragi Yuzu on the murder weapon. She could be his accomplice.”

“Isn’t she a high school student though?”

“Kids these days though …”

“Either way, keep an eye on her. She’s an important witness either way, and if she was in contact with Sakaki Yuuya beforehand, she might have information.” A pause. “Put Sakaki Yuuya on the wanted list. That child needs to be restrained.”

“And Hiiragi?”

“Tighten security.”

Through the slit in the doorway, Yuzu’s knees grow weak. They’re looking for her and Yuuya. There’s someone after them, someone who might’ve been involved in Yoko’s killing.

_ I’m not safe here,  _ Yuzu says,  _ and neither is Yuuya. I need to get away from here. _


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just realised that i never updated y'all on why the chapter count changed from 44 to 49 (and that it might get bumped up even more because chapter 32 [which i'm currently writing] ended up being massive and will at least need to be separated into two, possibly three, parts). ANYWAYS, y'all know that this fic follows the manga Erased to a 'T' ... and well, turns out there's a side-manga called Boku dake ga Inai Machi Gaiden which follows the perspectives of Reira, Yoko, Yuzu, and Yuuto during a crucial time later on in the fic. i really wanted to adapt these chapters to the fic, and rather than have them as a separate fic, i've decided to include them within the story. don't worry, those chapters won't be coming for a bit - just thought i'd give you a heads-up as to why the total chapter count changed a few weeks back.   
> cheers everyone, and as always thank you for your love and support for this fic! Fridays are one of my favourite days because of you guys! <3

“Do you mind if we check the hospital every hour? Sakaki Yuuya is on the loose, and it’s in our best interest to protect Hiiragi Yuzu from him.” That’s a man in a suit, one of the ones that’s been hanging around outside of her room.

“Of course, sir!” That’s one of the nurses who’s been monitoring Yuzu on her shift.

Yuzu sinks back against the door. She listens for the shuffle of the nurse’s retreating footsteps, and when those steps are gone the hushed voices of the businessmen return. “We need to focus on Hiiragi Yuzu right now. What is her position in his case? Is she his accomplice or his victim?”

Another voice speaks up: “Perhaps Sakaki forced her to be his accomplice in killing his mother, and then once the job was done he tried to silence her. What was their relationship to begin with?”

_Wrong._

“How horrible,” the first man says, “to force a young girl into such a terrible position.”

_Wrong._

Yuzu’s legs become jelly underneath her, and she slips down to the floor. They have it wrong. She chose to help Yuuya. He’s her co-worker, her friend, someone she could trust. And he trusted her, probably still trusts her. He came back to save her, she _knows_ it. But everyone she’s talked to has it all wrong. The men in suits suspect her either way, and she’s under protection until the case is resolved. No matter what Yuzu says, the men tell her that the smoke inhalation has muddled her memories, and that she was being used.

_I wasn’t. Yuuya is my_ friend.

Through the door Yuzu hears approaching footsteps. Quickly, she hurries to her feet and heads back to her bed. Her lungs protest the fast movement and she chokes as she climbs into the cot and adjusts her blankets. Unfortuantely, once she starts coughing it becomes hard to stop. Curling in on herself, she leans over her knees and chokes out wheezing breaths.

“Yuzu, oh Yuzu!” Someone comes to hold her shoulders, but rather than yank her upright, her father sets a gentle hand on the top of her back. “Here, let’s get you sitting more upright. You need to take the pressure off your lungs. Coughing’s good though – you’re bringing up all that smoke and gunk you inhaled.”

Face pink, Yuzu nods. “W-w … water,” she gasps out, one blue eye gazing up. She’s crying through the coughs, and so she can only see a watery image of Shuuzou.

“Course, course!” he says. He shuffles away from the bed, and a moment later he returns. He holds the cup in her hand and wraps her fingers around it. “Drink slowly, sweetie –”

Yuzu tips it back and chugs it. Most of it runs down her cheeks and her flimsy hospital gown, but enough makes it into her throat that she feels immediate relief. Her barking coughs die down to wheezes, and a minute later she takes her first proper breath. It _hurts,_ like razors climbed all the way up her throat, and her eyes sting. She wipes the tears from her eyes with the backs of her hands while her father dots at her nose with a handkerchief.

“Sorry, Dad,” she murmurs. “Breath went down the wrong pipe.”

Now she can see her father. Shuuzou’s flaming-orange hair juts up like he stuck his finger in an electric socket, fluffing out around the sides of his head. He’s got a bright, cherubic face. Of course, he’s wearing a tracksuit and runners; Yuzu wouldn’t be surprised if he ran to the hospital to see her.

“All good,” he says, pocketing the handkerchief. “I was just coming up to see you, see how you’re doing. Other than that …”

Yuzu laughs, a soft sound that still rubs her throat wrong. She clears it and shakes the last drops of water out of her cup. “I’m fine, Dad, honestly. It’s just a cough and a headache, nothing that you don’t get during finals flu. I’m glad you came to see me though.” With a smile, she reaches out to hold his hand. “Those men out there, are those …?” She leaves the question hanging, just to see what Shuuzou comes up with.

“Police, I’d say. They’re protecting you, which is good.” He harrumphs at that.

At his words, Yuzu looks away. She toys with the edges of the hospital blanket, and then at the IV site. “I’m sorry …”

He squeezes her hand. “What are you sorry for, sweetie? None of this is your fault, none of it.”

“You weren’t working today, were you?” she says.

“Does your father ever have a day off?” Shuuzou jokes. “I wasn’t working at You Show because, well, it’s not there anymore, but Akaba Leo has offered to help me out! He’s renting out a classroom and a duel arena there for me, and so all my students can go there. It’s going to be OK, don’t you worry about that!”

“I’m glad,” Yuzu says. However, her heart still feels heavy thinking about the fire. It must show on her face, for Shuuzou squeezes her hand harder this time, and then tapers it up her arm to her shoulder.

“Yuzu, darling, the house is just a house. You Show is just a duel school. Those are all replaceable things. What _isn't_ replaceable is you, and so I’m just happy to know that you’re safe.” He pauses to clear his throat, and his next words come out a bit choked. “In fact, I actually feel a bit responsible for what happened. You were targeted by a male stalker who tried to harm you. Yuzu, did you know anything about this?”

_That’s not true._ “Dad –”

“It’s OK to be scared, Yuzu. I swear, that’s a terrible position to be in, and if you’re not ready to talk about it we can discuss this later.”

“It’s not true –”

“You don’t need to defend that man, Yuzu. You’re safe now. The police are here to protect you, and I’m here to protect you. It pains me to know that this was happening all this time.” Shuuzou’s hand tightens on her shoulders, eyes smouldering. “Was he making moves on you at work? You were co-workers.”

If Yuzu had the great, strong lungs that she once had – the lungs of a vocalist – she’d shout at her father to listen to her and not the police. She’d tell him how wrong everything is, how the police are following the wrong leads, how they shouldn’t be focusing on Yuuya because he’d never kill his mother. However, she can’t. Her lungs are still raw from all the coughing, and if she raises her voice above a whisper she’ll just send herself into another attack. At most, all she can do is try to plead with him.

“Dad –”

“There’s nothing to be scared of, nothing to apologise for.” He smiles at her, a warm gesture Yuzu wishes she could return. “You’re safe now, and everything will be OK. Sakaki Yuuya, that’s who’s to blame. And I promise, I’ll always protect you.”

Yuzu’s head drops to the blankets pooled around her legs. With a choked sob, she covers her face. The movement irritates her throat, and soon she’s thrown into another coughing fit, one that makes her spit up black gunk. Shuuzou rubs her back, telling her that she’s getting better already, he’s sure of it, and Yuzu doesn’t have the strength to say anything. What can she tell him? Who will believe her when they’ve already made up a story for themselves?

A fake story.

And Yuzu has no evidence to disprove it.

_This is what it means to be suspected. Those people suspect me of being an accomplice of his – and I was, but not in the way they think. I was helping him find the real criminal. But no one’s going to look for that now that Yuuya ran away and I was hospitalised. Because of those reasons, no one will believe us._

_This is what it feels like to be trapped. This is what it feels like to have the world disbelieve you, to have the world tell you you’re wrong. And I’m right. I’m right and I won’t waver my opinion. But … will I hurt Yuuya?_

* * *

 Yuuya holds up Yuzu’s phone for Durbe to see the message on the screen. There, timed at precisely 19:25, is the message Yuzu received just before the house began burning. “It’s a message from Mom’s phone,” Yuuya explains. “The killer took her phone when he killed her, and then searched through Mom’s contacts to find Yuzu.”

Durbe nods, hands steepled beneath his chin. “I see. And you’re certain Yoko had Hiiragi’s number?”

“Positive,” Yuuya says. “Yuzu came over for dinner one night … and I think Mom and her got off as friends by that night.” Using his fingers to flip the phone closed, Yuuya then steels Durbe with a sharp glance. “The criminal knew I was friends with her, and that’s why he targeted her.”

“Is she OK, your friend?”

“In the hospital … I think.” Yuuya looks away. “I haven’t been able to see her since then, so I wouldn’t know. I can’t go to the hospital because they’ll be looking for me.”

“I wonder if she saw the criminal,” Durbe says. “There’s two possible ways this could go. One, he could’ve targeted her because she knew him and he saw her as a suspect he needed to eliminate. Or the criminal could’ve been worried that the police would leave you alone, and thus he set up this scene to send the police chasing after you and draw the attention away from him. Whether you’re arrested or not, the police will focus on you from this point on.”

Yuuya knows the implications of that. “I’ll never be free from this. I’m their target.”

Teeth in his lip, Durbe nods. He motions for the phone again, and Yuuya hands it over to him. While Durbe looks through the messages, Yuuya leans forward and cradles his head in his hands. His stomach feels sick, his eyes burn; he’s mad at himself for all the trouble he’s caused. Not only did he hurt Yoko, but he’s endangered Yuzu. This … this is his fault. He put her in danger.

“It was my mistake to drag her into this.”

“No it’s not.” Durbe says it so plainly that Yuuya looks up, eyes narrowing and then widening. “You didn’t go to her house to involve her in this. The killer probably wanted her involved in this investigation – he set that up – but most importantly Hiiragi chose to help you.” Leaning forward, Durbe points a finger towards his own chest. “Same with me, in fact. I don’t think you dragged me into this either because I’ve been involved with this case for eighteen years. I’ve been a part of this for as long as you’ve held that guilt in your heart.”

Durbe adjusts his glasses with his long fingers, eyes floating down to the case file. The folder is open, now showing scenes from the daily newspaper. There are pictures clippings and text about the arson attack on You Show Duel School.

“That’s why I’m meeting you like this. You also thought you dragged me into this, didn’t you?”

Yuuya nods.

Tapping his chest, Durbe says, “We all have a fate in this world, and my fate is mine. You don’t have to feel responsible for it.” He reaches into the file and holds up a picture of Yuzu. Already there are press details about her. This must be a picture her father submitted to the news company, as it’s a casual photo of her holding her violin under her chin. “Everything Hiiragi did, she did because she believed in you. She _still_ believes in you, I bet.”

_I want to believe you._ Yuzu told him that herself.

Durbe sets the photo back in the album, tucking it between hundreds of other documents concerning the serial kidnappings in 1988, Yoko’s death in 2006, and the arson on You Show Duel School in 2006. Then he closes the file. “People try to help when they see someone in trouble, don’t they? You and I are both helping each other. In the past, I’ve helped many friends, and I bet you have too. Back then, did you feel saved? Relieved? Supported? Just as you've helped many people in your life, I bet Hiiragi wanted to do the same for you.”

Swallowing, Yuuya nods. _I wasn’t alone back then. Just like when I helped Reira, Yuzu helped me._

“Just think about how she must have felt.”

Yuuya does. He pictures the bright smile and shining eyes, the greeting he would get. Yuzu was always smiling with him. She was optimistic and cheerful, witty and wise; she wouldn’t want him to think this way, and neither would Yoko. Both of those important women in his life helped him so that he could return the favour.

“I’m still worried about her,” Yuuya says. “The criminal might go after her again.”

“That’s reasonable,” Durbe says, “though to my knowledge she’s under the protection of the police. She should be safe at the hospital –”

“Safe from what?” Yuuya says. “Do you think burning down You Show was to silence her, to frame me further? What was the killer’s intent in going after her regardless of whether or not she had any knowledge about him?”

Durbe holds up two fingers to that, wiggling them for emphasis. “As we said before, he’s either trying to silence her or frame her as your accomplice. Either way, she should be OK –”

“She isn’t.” Yuuya sets a hand down on the document. “Why did the police go after her specifically? Why didn’t he stop with Mom? After all, the police were already focused on me when I ran away from the crime scene with blood on my hands. There are two witnesses – my landlady and the cop who saw me run – that can testify against me. So why go after Yuzu then?”

Leaning over the papers, all those notes of terrible crimes committed by one man – or one organisation – Yuuya says, “And most importantly, why try to kill Yuzu? He could’ve just burnt the duel school down – hell, it would’ve been an even bigger scene if he returned to burn my house down – but no, he went after her. Why?”

His questions leave Durbe chewing on his lip. Across the desk, Durbe doesn’t look like he has any answers, and he doesn’t speak up before he’s formulated a clear answer. “Yoko saw an attempted kidnapping, she said.”

“Yuzu was there too.”

Durbe purses his lips though. “That’s a big risk to take, going after someone else who was at the scene of the crime. She wasn’t looking at the attempted kidnapping, was she?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “I don’t even think she knew what was going on.”

“So then the culprit wasn’t just trying to cause a scene.”

“He was trying to kill her. Yuzu _knows_ something. The killer was trying to prevent me from ever seeing her again. She must have a clue, and whether she knows it or not is unimportant. The killer sees her as a threat, more so than me.”

“A timeline then,” Durbe says. “We need to look further back to see where the killer began this.” He reaches down in his desk and extracts a piece of paper. Using a pen, he writes in large kanji, “Sakaki Yoko.”

“Now,” Durbe says, “we know that there was about 24 hours between the time Yoko witnessed the attempted kidnapping and when she was killed. Between this time, she contacted me. She had gone to the library that day, so she was out of the house. She returned home though, and was later killed.” Durbe pauses, tongue pinched between his teeth. “Where were you, Yuuya?”

“At work.”

“So we can assume then that the killer knew this. He knew when she got home, and he knew when you got home; therefore, he planned the kidnapped to occur between these times. Since Yoko was so cautious speaking to me, I’d wager she too thought she was being watched.”

Yuuya hangs one to one detail though, hands clenching under the desk. “If the killer knew when I’d be home, that means he came to my workplace. He would have had to go there during that 24 hour period because Mom wasn’t in danger until she saw the attempted kidnapping. I don’t remember seeing anyone suspicious when I was returning from deliveries, but the killer could have always come while I was out.”

Reaching across the table, Yuuya takes out his pen and writes down his work schedule. He then scribbles next to it ‘Yuzu?’ “If the killer came to my workplace, he could’ve seen Yuzu. He might not have paid attention to her back then. And to see the rota, he would’ve had to have some kind of clearance. He’s got to be someone special to get in there. But …” Yuuya’s fingers tighten around the pen. “That must’ve been when he saw Yuzu.”

“Do you think you’ve seen him before?” Durbe asks. He writes down ‘familiar face?’

Yuuya shakes his head. “I can’t think of anyone I’ve seen in the past few days who came off as suspicious. And if it’s the same murderer from eighteen years ago, do you think he’d recognise me? He might know my name because of Mom, or because I was in the same class as two of the victims.”

“He might’ve avoided you.” Pushing the paper out in front of him, Durbe smiles up at him. “No matter how small it is, we’ve found a clue, Yuuya. This killer is scared of Yuzu because she has a clue.” His chair rolls back on the carpet, and Durbe stands. “Let me go check on her. If you go the hospital, the police will catch you. No one should know I’m in contact with you.”

Yuuya stands as well, holding onto the desk to support his weak legs. “Tell her you’re a friend of mine. Tell her everyone you need to. You can trust Yuzu.”

With a bow, Durbe answers. “Of course. She sounds like a good friend of yours.”

“I believe in her.”

Chuckling, Durbe grabs his jacket off of a coat rack by the door. He fastens a thicker, green scarf around his neck, and dons a hat even though it’s warm weather. “In the meantime, how about checking those crime reports from eighteen years ago? I’ve looked over them a hundred times, but it always helps to have a second set of eyes. You never know: you might spot something I’ve overlooked.” Winking, Durbe raises a hand in farewell, and then disappears out the door.

_Durbe,_ Yuuya thinks, _I can trust you too, just like Mom trusted you for all those years._

Quickly, Yuuya hurries to Durbe’s computer and pulls up the case file, a document already open for him to search through. This is information no one else would have had, not even Yoko. In this are the detailed notes and suspicions that Durbe’s saved for all these years. This is information Yuuya could use to put together the mystery behind the 1988 serial kidnappings.

_Is Tsukumo Yuuma hiding something to protect his father?_ It’s a question Durbe asks at the top of the notes, one that stirs feelings of guilt through Yuuya. In the rerun, he only met with Yuuma, not his father. In fact, he doesn’t know much about Tsukumo Kazuma.

Throughout the trial, Yuuma refused to answer questions concerning his alibis and was overall uncooperative, only pleading not-guilty without any evidence to prove his innocence. Yuuma must’ve loved his father. What was his role in the kidnappings though? Would he be a suspect? Yuuya worries at his lip. If he knew those questions beforehand, he would have paid attention to Yuuma _and_ his father instead of simply worrying about Yuuma’s innocence … which still didn’t work.

Then, as Yuuya reads further, another paragraph details one of the prime pieces of evidence that led to Yuuma’s arrest. According to a classmate of Reira’s, Yuuma was frequently seen hanging around with the victim. Because of the age difference between them, the police had suspicions about what interest Yuuma had in associating with a young child. It was this testimony that was brought to court; Yuuya’s own testimony for Yuuma’s innocence was ignored.

Fingers tensing, Yuuya tries to take deep, steady breaths.

_I’m glad I had hope, and took the courage to come here with you._ Reira learned those words from Hope, her friend. He taught her to kattobingu, to believe in herself, to take chances and make friends. Yuuma’s main goal was to befriend lonely children so they didn’t feel alone in the dimensional cities. He was doing a _favour,_ and this was how he was repaid? Persecution and arrest?

Scrolling further down the document, Yuuya finds the list of suspects. He counts them: one, two, three, four … five.

Five?

The only name Yuuya recognises is Tsukumo Yuuma’s.

At the bottom of the list is a brief annotation from Durbe: _According to the police, Tenjouin Yuuri (trans boy) was murdered because he was mistaken for a girl. As such, only the five people who didn’t know Yuuri remain on the list._

Yuuya swallows. Back in elementary school, he remembers …

_“I don’t want to dance with an ugly girl,” Yuugo says. “There are no pretty girls in all of Heartland, I swear.” He crosses his arms and sticks out his lip. “Why can’t I just dance with Yuuri? He’s a pretty_ guy.”

Yuuya’s fists hit the table, then his head. He lets loose one cry before he bites his lips so strongly that they bleed down his chin. Everything in him hurts. Nails dig into the palms of his hands. His eyes burn, his throat goes dry. Yuuya lifts one hand up and slams it down again, but all it does it shatter his heart in more and more pieces.

“He knew,” Yuuya whispers to the ground. Weakly, he reaches up and drags his bangs down over his eyes. “The killer knew Yuuri was a boy, and so he killed him so that it would throw the police off his track. That’s why Yuuri died: to remove the real killer off of the suspect list.”

Tears stream down Yuuya’s cheeks, and with a groan he bangs his head once more on the table. “He knew, he knew, _he knew!_ The real killer set this up.” Yuuya can’t bear to read more, but his eyes drag upwards to see the screen. Durbe has more notes about Yuuri. _Tsukumo Yuuma has been reported by neighbours engaging in conversation with minors, including young boys. In the case of Yuuri, pictures were found in the Tsukumo’s Foods storehouse. Out of respect for Yuuri’s family, these photographs were never released._

Yuuya bites the inside of his cheeks, tears streaming down his face.

_Accordingly, it was concluded that Tsukumo Yuuma had both homosexual and pedophilic tendencies. A number of yaoi mangas, some including minors, were seized from Tsukumo Yuuma’s room._

“You’re wrong,” Yuuya hisses. “The killer planted those books in Hope’s room. He was framed. There were no books like that in Hope’s room, not porn. No.” Yuuya drops his chin onto the desk, sniffling. “He was framed for this.”

With a guttural growl, Yuuya rereads the section again and again. He burns it into his eyes: after Reira’s death, Yuuya’s friend Yuuri was targeted to take the killer off the list.

Off the list.

Yuuya searches through the document, scrolling through note after note. “Where is the original list?” Yuuya thinks. “Where did it go? The killer’s name was on that list. Before Yuuri died, there was another list, wasn’t there?” However, nowhere in the document does Yuuya see any mention of it. Even when he looks through all of Durbe’s files on his computer, searching for keywords like ‘suspect list’ or ‘Yuuri,’ no results come up. Wherever that list went, it was lost ages ago.

It can’t be gone though. Yuuya knows that somewhere the police would have record of it. When Durbe gets back, he makes a mental note to ask him about the original list. They need to get a hold of it no matter what.

* * *

A few hours later, Shuuzou returns with dinner for her. It’s a delicious and nutritious meal, soft rice and boiled vegetables that slip down her aggravated throat. He sets the plate down on her lap, and then takes a seat next to her. As she eats, Yuzu watches her father. He's barely left her side since he came.

“Thanks for this, Dad,” she says between bites. Her throat catches at the end of her words, and she muffles a cough into her shoulder.

“You don’t have to thank me for every little thing, Yuzu,” he says. “Let me take care of you, just like I always have. I want to protect you.”

“You don’t need to protect me anymore, Dad. I’m fine.”

Shuuzou shakes his head though. “What if he tries to come after you again –”

“He wouldn’t –”

“He might –”

Yuzu drops her fork down on the plate, looking up with brazen eyes. “Dad, no one is coming after me. I keep telling you that.” Food doesn’t sound appetising anymore, and Yuzu pushes it away. Shuuzou catches her intentions at once and takes the plate from her.

“You need your strength, darling, if you’re going to get better. Not even another bite?”

She huffs under her breath. “Dad … I want you to stop accusing Yuuya. Please.”

Back turned to him, Yuzu can’t see Shuuzou’s expression. She catches the twitch of his shoulders though, the stiffness in his posture that makes his joints creak as he sets down the plate. “Yuzu,” he says, still turned away from her, “you’re forgiving someone that hurt you.”

_I’m not._ Her hands fist in the sheets, eyes watering. Her sore throat feels clogged from all the emotions climbing up from it. “Listen to me.”

He doesn’t. He turns back to her, and Yuzu gives up then and there. With a frustrated shout that tears from her throat, she shouts, “Listen!” At once, she begins coughing, but she talks through it, ignoring the pain it causes her: “Yuuya didn’t kill his mother, and he didn’t burn down the duel school to kill me. He’s done none of those things – none of them! He didn’t do it!”

“Yuzu!” Shuuzou shouts, rushing towards her. His hands try to lift her upright, hold her back from ripping open her throat. “Yuzu, listen to me –”

“Listen, Dad!”

“I am!” His forehead touches her, skin warm against her flushed face. “I am,” he says, softer. Yuzu chokes out cough after cough, chest pulsing against him. Shuuzou’s arms wrap around her shoulders, pulling her closer. They’re chest to chest now, and Yuzu focuses on her father’s even breaths. He’s calm through this. Beneath the surface, there must be panic, but before her he is resolute. “Yuzu, I’m listening.”

“You’re not,” she cries out. “Don’t believe what the police are telling you.” Scrunching up her face, she coughs into her hands. Shuuzou reaches behind him to hand her a glass of water, which she greedily drinks up with harsh pants. The razors in her throat scrape up the sides, making her wince even while drinking the soothing water. “You’re … not.”

Leaning against her, Yuzu hears Shuuzou sigh. “I will then,” he tells her. “I will listen.”

She doesn’t move away from him then. Taking as deep as a breath as she can without hurting her lungs, she whispers, “Someone is spreading lies to the police. Someone told you something different. Dad …” She sniffs, reaching up to rub at her wet nose and eyes. “I don’t know what you heard, but I’m being suspected as Yuuya’s accomplice in a crime that neither of us committed. And it’s really painful that they don’t believe me – that _you_ don’t believe me.”

Shuuzou’s hands tighten around her. “I want to believe you, Yuzu.”

Sniffling back tears, Yuzu nods. “Then please listen to me. Please believe me, Dad. Yuuya didn’t hurt me.”

“I believe you, Yuzu,” he says again. He tucks her hand between their chest, holding them together before their beating hearts. Yuzu’s chest burns with each breath, but she hold her own.

“Do you believe in Yuuya too?”

“I do.”

A sigh. Her head dips to tuck right under her father’s chin. She remembers being in his arms before; he’s always held her. When he dueled, he’d put her in the baby carrier on his back. When he started teaching, she’d sit on the sidelines and watch him. Through thick and thin, she’s been by his side. _Now, Dad, I want you to be by_ my _side. I want you to believe in me, like I’ve believed in you, like I’ve believed in Mom who left us._

After a moment, Shuuzou leans back. “Do you want another sip of water?” he asks, voice soft. The light around them makes the room seem heavenly, like this is in a dream where Yuzu and Shuuzou are walking among clouds.

“Tissues, please.” She takes them and dabs at her eyes and nose, and then hacks into one to clear the congestion in her throat. When she’s done, she peeks over them to look at Shuuzou. He looks … humble. He sits on her bed, one leg dangling over the edge. He’s not crying, but the expression on his face – eyebrows raised, eyes wide, lips pursed, cheeks red – is unfamiliar to her. “Dad?” she ventures.

“Yes, darling?”

“I need to go and find Yuuya.” She clears her throat, then continues: “Right now, he doesn’t have many people that believe in him and that can help him. If he has any chance at coming out of this mess not-guilty, I need to be there with him.”

Unsurprisingly, Shuuzou is concerned. “Yuzu, you’re in the hospital. You’re getting over smoke inhalation.”

“The air will be good for me.” She raises her arm, IV still in her veins. “This is just water to keep me hydrated. I’m not on any antibiotics, and I’m only here while they monitor my lungs to ensure there’s no infection. I’ll be safe; in fact, I’ll be safer out there than I am in here.” Narrowing her eyes, she says, “I don’t trust the police officers outside of my room.”

Shuuzou looks nonplussed, but he takes her seriously at least. “How do you plan to leave this room? They’ll come and check up on you.”

Yuzu shrugs. “Switch places with me. Lay on the bed, asleep. They’ll realise it’s not me sooner or later, but at least this’ll give me time to go and find Yuuya. Please, Dad.” She takes Shuuzou’s hands in her own, holding them tight. “I need help, and I need you to believe in me.”

“I believe in you.”

Chuckling, she adds, “With your fired-up heart?”

He laughs with her. “With my fired-up heart.”

Yuzu smiles. She looks down at the IV in her arm, and in one swift movement yanks it out. Quickly, she applies pressure to the wound with gauze, and then leaves it as is. She finds her clothes in one of the cupboards, and she changes in the bathroom while he waits. When she returns, Shuuzou is in the bed, grinning at her.

“You’ve got this,” he tells her.

Yuzu gives him a thumbs up. With everything ready, she pokes her head out of the door. The businessmen are at the end of the hall talking among each other; at the other end of the hallway there is a door leading to the stairwell. A red exit sign hangs over it.

_Bingo._ Yuzu slips out of the room and heads to the stairwell. She doesn’t turn around so as to not seem suspicious, but just before she closes the door she looks back at the group of men. Not one of them has turned around to notice her. They were all too busy with their conversation. Satisfied, Yuzu hurries down the stairs, taking them two at a time. At the bottom of the stairwell, she travels through the lobby and out the main entrance. She feels watched, like someone will stop her at any moment. However, not once does someone look at her twice. Yuzu makes it out of the hospital without a fuss.

Once she’s outside, she doesn’t care who sees her. Her lungs already hurt from the exercise down the stairs, so she can’t run. However, she moves as fast as she can allow, feet slapping the pavement. She weaves between crowds of shoppers and down major streets.

_I need to find a phone. I need to call Yuuya. I need to_ find _Yuuya._

She has a plan. Deep within her heart, courage and hope burn brightly. She believes in herself and Yuuya, and she believes in their safety and future.


	18. Chapter 18

Yuuya is still in Durbe’s office when Yuzu’s cell phone goes off. His eyes flicker to it and his heart races. Should he answer it? What if it’s the killer? Yuzu told him to turn off his own phone because the cops could track the GPS on it, but he's forgotten to turn off her phone. Would the police track her cell too? If so, then it doesn’t matter if he answers it or not.

Cautiously, Yuuya reaches over the table and picks it up. The screen says private caller on it – Yuuya has no hints about who it could be.

_I’ll take the chance._

He answers the phone and holds it up to his ear. Yuuya doesn’t know what to say; he holds his breath and bites his cheek.

Then: “Oh thank goodness, you left it on!” The voice is rough and gravelly, but it’s unmistakably a woman – and one that Yuuya knows.

“Yuzu!” he says, hands tightening on the cell. His heart leaps with joy, and his next words come tumbling out: “Oh thank goodness, you’re OK! You’re all right, aren’t you? How are you feeling? Where are –”

She cuts him off with a soft chuckle that then turned into a rough cough. “I’m fine, Yuuya. Don’t worry about me.” She coughs once more, and Yuuya winces. She isn’t better. “Hey, you still there?”

Yuuya nods. “Yeah.”

“I’ve been thinking about something while I was at the hospital, about why I got targeted.” Her voice trails off for a moment, and then comes out as a whisper. “Maybe I’ve run into the criminal. I wouldn’t have known it back then, but that would explain why he targeted me, right? And why he’s _still_ targeting me even though the police are after you.”

“I’ve been thinking the same thing,” Yuuya says, teeth worrying at his lip.

“It’s not safe to be talking through phones though, or out in public. We need to meet in private.”

Yuuya’s heart clenches. “Right.”

He can hear her smile through her words. “Let’s meet at the same place as before, OK? I’ll make sure I’m not followed.” A pause. “Now, turn your phone off. Don’t let anyone track it, and meet me there soon.”

The line falls silent before Yuuya can get another word in. He holds the phone in his hand for a moment, eyes falling on the device. Then he hurriedly powers it off and slips it back in his pocket. Durbe has yet to return from the hospital, though Yuuya supposes that if Yuzu is _out_ of the hospital then Durbe helped her somehow. Besides, Durbe is the least of Yuuya’s concerns. He needs to get out of here and back to the spot under the bridge.

_Is this a trap?_ his mind thinks. But Yuuya shakes his head. He has to believe in Yuzu, one of the last people he can put his faith in. She wants to help him. Hell, she’s run away from the hospital just to meet him. Her life is as much on the line as his is, and it won’t help Yuuya if he starts worrying about her. _I have to trust her._

Yuuya heads out of the office building without a glance behind him. He treks back through the long hallways and down the elevator to the main floor. At any moment, Yuuya expects to be ambushed. There must be a trap somewhere, right? However, even once he’s out on the sunny streets of Maiami, no one stops him. Yuuya walks under the blue skies and fluffy clouds, hands in his pockets. Instead of walking down the main paths though, Yuuya takes a stroll through the park. If anyone is tailing him, they're less likely to catch him here.

As a child, Yuuya played at parks all the time. Now that he has a job and is much older, he hasn’t been to a single park in Maiami. The tall oak trees and green shrubbery are new and unfamiliar to him. There isn’t a hill down to the river like in Heartland City; rather, there are grassy fields for running and playing. In the middle of one field crouch two boys. Spread out in the grass, they are playing a game of duel monsters. Yuuya recognises the cards from his childhood, and out of curiosity he pauses.

The children see him at once.

“Hey mister, are you a duelist? Do you duel? Will you duel us?”

Yuuya raises his hands at once. “Oh no, I don’t have any cards on me. However …” He frowns and crouches down before the boys. From this angle, Yuuya can see the dueling field as well as the cards in both children’s hands. “See this card here?” he says, motioning to a monster card. “Summon him, and then Special Summon from your graveyard. This might turn things around in your favour.”

The child’s blue eyes narrow and then widen. “Oh you’re right, mister, you are! This is the card I need to win!” He holds it up for his friend to see, and then slams it down on the board. “Time to turn things around!”

Yuuya chuckles behind his hand. He doesn’t know much about dueling, so he’s proud he can offer some advice to the children. However, looking over his shoulder Yuuya spots two women – the mothers of the children, he assumes – eyeing him cautiously. Even when Yuuya stands and takes a step back, the women glare at him as if, at any moment, he might snatch their child away.

_Is this what Hope felt like?_ Yuuya thinks. _The parents back then didn’t like him either._ Shrugging, Yuuya shoves his hands in his pockets and begins walking away. He lets their stares follow him all the way out of the park and down the road, where he hops down to a side street that will be away from the public eye. The looks those women gave him … they probably didn’t even know he was a criminal or else they would’ve been calling the cops. No, they were judging him for helping those kids, like he should have just kept his distance and never said a word.

At the bottom of the bridge, Yuuya sneaks underneath and cloaks himself in the shadows. He makes himself as small as possible should anyone come wandering by; he peeks under one arm so he’ll see Yuzu.

_I’m not worried,_ he tells himself. _I’m not in danger. I can trust Yuzu._

Yuuya doesn’t have long to convince himself of that before he hears footsteps thudding over his head, the sounds of someone walking fast. Yuuya’s hung out with Yuzu enough to know that she has loud steps when she’s on a mission. He strains his ears to hear her come down the stairs. From this distance he can even hear her ragged breathing, that painful wheezing he heard on the phone.

Yuuya gathers himself to his feet. _I can trust her._

“Oh.”

“Oh.”

She’s at the bottom of the stairs that lead down under the bridge, one hand holding the guard rail. Other than the bandages on her arm and the general pallor and exhaustion on her face, she looks unharmed. She looks better than Yuuya thought she would. She clears the rest of the steps to meet him, and at once she’s right in front of him.

“I’m here, Yuuya.”

Butterflies flutter in his stomach. “Me too,” he says. His eyes look past her to see if there is anyone behind her. His ears strain for the sounds of more footsteps. Every hair on his back stands on end for a moment, worrying that _anything_ could happen now that they are together. The killer could have been following _him_ all this time, waiting for the chance for both of them to meet up at last. Nothing of the sort happens though. Yuzu keeps standing in front of him, one hand on her hip.

“There was a detective tailing me a while back, but I lost him long before I got anywhere near the bridge. You don’t have to worry, Yuuya.”

He shakes his head. “Thanks, Yuzu.” _“I’m ashamed of myself that I even considered this to be a trap by the police.”_

She snorts at him, a gurgly sound deep within her chest. “You said that out loud, you know that?”

At once his cheeks are crimson. That was supposed to be a private thought! Now that it’s out though, Yuuya has to follow up with it. He rubs the back of his head, laughing at the ground, and doesn’t meet her gaze for a moment. “Yeah, I guess I’m a bit uptight about all this. It’s kinda hard being a criminal, being framed, being chased down by the police. It’s sorta wearing on me.”

“Understandable.” She squats down by the wall holding up the bridge, and motions for him to sit next to her. “You’re a wanted criminal according to the police. I’m glad you’re not being foolish. You don’t want to get caught.”

“You’ve got that right.” If he’s caught, there will be no chance to save anyone. If he’s caught, the killer wins for good. Yuuya will be charged jail time just like Hope, just like all the other framed victims, and by the time he gets out – if he ever gets out – the killer will be long gone.

“Those police officers they’ve got watching me though, I think they’re undercover as business workers, or those men are just stalking me. Anyways, they weren’t paying attention to me at all. I slipped out without a single one of them noticing. By the time they _do_ notice, they won’t see me on the streets; and since no one knows where this place is, we should be safe down here for a while.”

“Right.”

They lapse into a gentle silence, only punctuated by Yuzu’s heavy, ragged breaths. When she starts coughing up black tar, it sets Yuuya’s teeth on edge. He braces her against his arm as she vomits over the ledge. She apologises throughout for making so much noise.

“You can’t help it,” he tells her. “Hell, Yuzu, you shouldn’t even be out of the _hospital._ What are you doing here?”

She spits once over the ledge and then falls back on her heels. “Helping you,” she says, wiping her face with a handkerchief she’s extracted from her pocket. “You’ve helped me before, and now it’s my turn to return the favour. And besides, who’s counting? Isn’t it just better to help someone when they’re in trouble and support them like they’re your family?”

He looks away, cheeks flushed. “I guess.” Durbe’s words flow in his mind: Yuzu chose to help him. He’s not responsible for her injuries or her choices. Even if he tried to avoid her at all costs, Yuzu would try to help him if she wanted to. She cares for him, like he cares for her. Fists clenched, Yuuya asks her, “All right, Yuzu, tell me what you couldn’t tell me on the phone.”

Her eyes twinkle at his words. “Well,” she begins, “I’m suspicious of someone named Mr. Mushi.”

When she doesn’t talk, Yuuya raises an eyebrow. Is he meant to know who that is? “Who?”

“He must be a city councillor or a politician, someone with power. I’ve seen him two or three times at our work, and one time when you skipped work after Yoko’s death. That guy … he’s not a customer, and he doesn’t seem like the type of person to be doing business with the manager.”

Yuuya nods in understanding. “He’s only shown up recently at the store, hasn’t he?”

“Bingo. Unfortunately, that’s all I know about him. I never overheard any of his or the manager’s conversations, and I never got to talk with him. That man though … he knows my name. When I was leaving the manager said goodbye to me. And if that man was with Faker, then he could’ve snuck a glance at the work rota and seen your name, your address, and my address.”

“Did you see his face?” Yuuya asks.

“No,” Yuzu says with the shake of her head, “but if the criminal is being cautious, he might think I did, and that’s why he’s targeting me. No matter what I remember, I have no solid facts why that guy’s suspicious. He just … was. Faker doesn’t entertain guests often, and neither of his sons are politicians. Just seeing that man there made me nervous.”

“I bet he had access to the work rota on the night that Mom was killed. He would’ve seen how late I worked, and he killed her before I got home. Since both of us were out doing deliveries, it’s unlikely that we saw him if he slipped into the manager’s office.” Sighing, Yuuya cradles his hands. “It’s a hint that this man has connections, but it’s not like we can do anything with that. If we go after Mr. Mushi, we’re likely to get arrested.”

“I know.” She coughs into her shoulder, and then smiles at him. “But it’s more information that we had before. I’m sure we’ll figure this out.”

Yuuya doesn’t meet her eyes. He bows his head, green bangs obscuring his features

“Hey, listen. You’ve got this look in your eye …” Yuzu leans forward so that she can peek under his hair. “You look like you’re about to do something _really_ stupid, and I’m here to tell you that if you do anything rash you’ll only make this worse for both of us. It’s not like we’re doomed yet, so we shouldn’t do something that’ll only end us up in jail.” Her brows furrow over her shimmering, blue eyes. “We’re going to figure this out. I understand what you’re feeling.”

His teeth sink into his lip, drawing blood. “A long time ago, there was something I never finished …”

“Huh?”

“A manga plot,” he explains. “It was about an entertainer who wanted to bring smiles to the world. He wanted to see people laugh and enjoy themselves, and he wanted to laugh too. However, whatever he did had the opposite effect: people cried. They ran away from him; they were scared of him. He was no entertainer. And still he tried. He tried over and over again to make them smile, running through the streets trying to bring laughter. But he only made things worse. No matter what he did, the people just kept screaming around him. There wasn’t a hint of laughter nor the glimmer of a smile in sight.

“Even at the end of the story, the entertainer thinks he’s done the right thing. He’s trying, you see, and he thinks someday he’ll make his audience smile. But he’s wrong: when he acts, he hurts people. He’ll never bring smiles.”

Yuzu leans forward to rest her chin on her knees. Out of the corner of her eye she watches him. Her fingers twirl in her pink locks, curling her dirty hair. “I think I understand what you’re saying. You think you’re like that entertainer, don’t you?”

His feet scuffle on the ground. Yuuya draws his own knees up to his chest. “Don’t you think so, Yuzu?”

“I don’t.”

She’s blunt, but Yuuya is ready for that answer. “Well you’re wrong then. I hurt whoever I’m around.”

“Still wrong,” she says. “I didn’t get hurt.”

Yuuya snorts into his hand. “Just listen to yourself, Yuzu. Your voice is hoarse, you’re dressed in bandages. You were in the hospital for crying out loud. You think you’re not hurt, that what I dragged you into didn’t put you in danger?” He hugs his knees tight, fingers clenching on his pant legs. “Hell, we’re even in danger now just talking under this bridge. You aren’t safe if you’re around me. Sooner or later the police will find me, and there’s only so much you can do to plead guilty. If you’re found with me, it’s sad to say that you’ll be brought to jail too.”

She’s silent at that, if only for a moment. Then, sharp-tongued: “Are you done throwing yourself a pity party?”

Yuuya looks away.

“That entertainer in your story, he’s stupid. He’s thinking about others, so desperate for them to smile when he hasn’t even healed himself. That stupid entertainer needs to take care of himself first and foremost, and a couple smiles from an imaginary audience aren’t going to heal him. What that _entertainer_ needs to do is stop pushing his friends away. You can’t see that entertainer’s face in your story, can you? He hides it behind a mask. Well, let me pull that mask off.”

“That’s not how the story goes …”

“It’s the story I’m telling then – a different, better story. One with a happy ending for everyone.” She kicks her legs out, leaning back with a heavy sigh. “That story didn’t even have a proper ending, did it, Yuuya? The entertainer just keeps trying until … what? He fails? He _dies?_ No, the story ends when the stupid entertainer comes back to his friends for help. The entertainer and his friends make the crowd smile. He doesn’t need to do it alone.”

Yuuya buries his head in his knees. Her words have brought tears to his eyes, and he won’t let her see them. “Yuzu …”

“I’m just saying that that story is both incomplete and ridiculous, and it has nothing to do with you. If you’re that entertainer, then you’re one who’s making the right choices. You’re the one who’s not alone before the audience because you’re with me. And we’re not running haphazardly through the streets trying to restore peace. We have a plan; we have clues. And, most importantly, it’s the actors who determine the end of the play. Only we get to write the ending.”

His heart sings for her. Loosening his hands, Yuuya peeks under his arms. She’s still sitting next to him, head cocked to the side so that both blue eyes can stare at him.

“Stop hiding your face, Yuuya. You don’t need to wear a mask.”

“I’m not hiding,” he mumbles. He lowers his arms and lifts his head. He refuses to meet her eyes, but his attention is on her though.

“After all,” Yuzu muses, “you believe in me, and I believe in you.”

There are tears dripping down his cheeks now; he can no longer hold them back. They shimmer in the faint rays of the sun that pierce through the darkness under the bridge. Here, Yuuya is not alone. He never was. She’s been with him all this time, helping him, not letting him pull away. She’s making sure that _he_ doesn’t go missing from this dimension.

_“Yuzu … I’m so glad I met you.”_

She chuckles. “You said that one out loud too, you know that, you sap?”

And he’s back to blushing, biting down on his tongue before he says anything more. She doesn’t seem to tackle his words any further though. Instead, she draws in the dirt. Her breath comes in deep, gurgling gasps, but she seems to ignore whatever is ailing her. “When you say words,” she mumbles, “I think, sometimes, they become real too.”

Light shoots into the tunnel, catching them off guard. It comes from several large, strong flashlights that capture them in the beam. Yuuya and Yuzu barely have time to register what’s happening before two police officers charge at them. One goes after Yuzu, pushing her to the ground to pin her arms behind her back. Yuuya has but a second to reach out for her before his own body is thrown to the concrete and his face smushed to the floor. With his head pushed sideways, he can see out of the corner of his eye Yuzu pinned down, coughing harshly into the floor.

“Let her go!” Yuuya says, thrashing under the police officer. There’s a knee shoved into his back, and two hands that hold his arms behind him. He’s been rendered immobile and useless in a matter of seconds. However, he has his voice. “Let me go! Let her go, stop!”

“Sakaki Yuuya,” the man above him says. He punctuates the name by drilling his knee deeper into Yuuya’s spine, wrenching out several painful coughs. “You’re under arrest for the murder of Sakaki Yoko, and the attempted murder by arson of Hiiragi Yuzu.”

Behind him, he hears Yuzu’s croaky voice shout, “You’ve got that wrong!”

“Hiiragi Yuzu, you are under arrest for aiding and abetting Sakaki Yuuya as he killed Sakaki Yoko.”

“Stop!”

The police officer grabs the top of his shirt and hauls him to his feet. With his face off the ground, Yuuya can now see the police vehicles that drove down the hill to the outside of the tunnel, and the other officers waiting for him by the car. There are other men, dressed in professional suits and wearing glasses, that stand to the side waiting for him. If they’re saying anything, Yuuya doesn’t hear it over the thudding of his heart and his and Yuzu’s screams.

_This isn’t how it’s meant to end,_ Yuuya thinks. He throws himself to the side, attempting to fall over the side of the path under the bridge and into the dark waters below. At this point, anything is better than this outcome. He _can’t_ go to jail. He can’t. In jail, there will be no way for him to save anyone. This is checkmate for the killer.

“As of 16:50, Sakaki Yuuya has been arrested.”

Yuuya turns his head to look back at the officer leading him away, but the moment he moves a hand grabs the hairs on the back of his head and pushes him forward. He gets enough of a glance though to see the man who’s caught him, a man not much older than him. With each step, he leads him closer to the car. Yuuya drags his feet, heels into the dirt.

_It can’t end like this. I haven’t saved anyone. Mom, Akaba, Yuuri … Yuzu._ They’ll all be gone because of me, because I couldn’t protect them. I’ve failed in this timeline too –

Rerun. His heart pounds in his ears.

Rerun. He needs to go back. The last time he reran, it was because someone had caught him like a deer in the headlights. Well, that time has happened again, so it should work. Squeezing his eyes shut, Yuuya thinks back to the snowy streets of Heartland City. _Go back! Go back as far as before! Go back to a time when I could have made a difference, back to a time before I made all those mistakes!_ He digs his nails into his fists. _Give me one more chance, please! One last chance to save everyone!_

But nothing triggers it. Over the whir of the sirens, Yuuya feels his heartbeat recede. His body becomes a heavy corpse that he can barely control. Head lolling forward, Yuuya tries to regain his last vestiges of hope. It can’t end like this … can it?

Next to him, Yuzu’s screams sound like they come from a tube. “Yuuya! Yuuya, listen to me, please! It’s not your fault, I swear.”

Yuzu.

Yuuya’s eyes slide back to see her, face red from coughing, tears streaming down her cheeks. She’ll be taken away too, probably questioned about her relationship with him. Whether Yuzu will lie and plead not guilty, or whether she’ll tell the truth that she was protecting him, Yuuya doesn’t know. He can’t make that choice for her. He can’t predict her future any more than his own, and it pains him. However, Yuuya won’t let these last moments with her die. He might never see her again.

Side by side, he and Yuzu are dragged closer to the cars, closer to the men standing around on the grass. It’s like a sick audience watching the capture and arrest of two young adults framed by a long-time serial kidnapper and murderer.

While Yuuya seems to give into his situation, next to him Yuzu doesn’t stop thrashing against the police. She bucks and kicks at them, spitting venom. Her cough hasn’t slowed her down in the slightest. “Let me go! You’re wrong, all wrong! Yuuya didn’t do this! You’ve got the wrong guy!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya spots the police officer try to cover her mouth, but he yanks it back when she takes a chomp at his fingers.

“Yuuya, I’m sorry!” she cries. “I promise, they didn’t follow me! I swear I came alone! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Yuuya! Please!” Her last words end in a ragged gasp that sends her folding over in a violent attack, spitting up black gunk.

Yuuya won’t let his eyes leave her though. Yuzu deserves his attention, doesn’t she? She chose to stand alongside him. She chose to _believe_ in him. So …

“It’s all my fault, Yuuya. I’m so sorry –”

The spotlights fall on him like he’s before an audience.

_What would a superhero do in this situation?_

_Well …_

_Yuuya blinks as he stares into the great eyes of a man riding a dragon, an entertainer cloaked in bright, ostentatious colours that somehow don’t clash together. He’s smiling as he holds onto the protruding horns of the red dragon. Both the entertainer and the dragon have dichromatic eyes that twinkle in the spotlight._

_“What’s wrong?” the entertainer asks him._

_“Isn’t it hard to fight alone?”_

_“It is. That’s why you should always help others, and they will help you. You are never alone when you have friends and family that support you and make you stronger. When you’re down, you should smile.” The entertainer stretches out a hand to take Yuuya up onto the dragon. “Since I love you all, I am never alone.”_

“Yuzu,” Yuuya says, feeling a smile tug at his lips. “It’s not your fault.”

She stills her thrashing and looks at him, tears streaming down her face. “What …?”

“It’s thanks to you that I can keep smiling.” He takes a deep breath, one that seems to fill him with renewed energy. “I can still keep it up only because you believed in me. Thank you, Yuzu. I’m glad I found someone I can trust.”

The police officer pushes him forward. His last look at Yuzu is of her sobbing and smiling. Yuuya hopes she can see his smile too. Because of her, he is not alone. Because of her, he can keep believing in himself and fighting. Because of her, the mask has cracked, if only a little bit.

He’s led to one of the white and blue police cars parked outside of the path under the bridge, where all the eyes are looking at him. Yuuya glares at each and every one of them to let them see his cracked mask. They have the wrong guy. They haven’t found the criminal –

Eyes.

Yuuya sees them, like the piercing stare of a predator whose trapped his prey. Those vile, beady eyes! He was there, back then! He was. Yuuya _knows_ those eyes before, remembers them time and time before, is that what Yoko saw, is this who Yuzu saw –

At 16:50, May 29, 2006, Sakaki Yuuya is arrested for the murder of Sakaki Yoko, and the attempted murder by arson of Hiiragi Yuzu.


	19. Chapter 19

He feels the snowflakes on his cheeks first, melting at the contact with his skin. Yuuya reaches up a hand to touch the falling snow, and giggles to himself. His small hands stretch wide to catch them all; the ones he misses fall on his windbreaker, in his hair, and on his eyelashes. He blinks up at the white world above him, mouth open.

_ Can I catch them with my tongue?  _ he wonders. He sticks out his tongue, and laughs even louder when the cold, damp flakes send shivers all the way down from his head to his toes.

“Mama, Mama!” he shouts. “It’s snowing!”

Excitedly, he hops up and down on the frozen ground. Yesterday, he had been digging in the dirt looking for bugs. Now though the ground is hard, unable to be broken with his plastic shovel. Instead, Yuuya has collected long pieces of grass and flowers looking for sunflower seeds. Even if he can’t find the seeds, he has a friend with a hamster who will love the extra beddings and flowers to decorate the animal’s cage.

Over his shoulder, Yuuya looks up and through the window. He can see his mother, Yoko, busying herself inside their little house. As a reporter, she’s very busy with her work. Every so often though, Yuuya catches her watching him with a coy smile. She can’t come out and play with him, but he understands. She has to work. Yoko works hard so they can live a comfortable life here in Heartland. Yoko loves him, even if she can’t be by his side at all times.

However, Yuuya does want her to see the snow. He scrambles up the steps to his house and throws the door open. It’s just as cold inside, and Yoko in her fuzzy robe and slippers shivers when she spots him.

“Yuuya, what’s up?” 

“It’s snowing, Mama! Look out the window.”

Giggling, Yoko comes to him and crouches down to his level. Together, they open the door once more and peer out at the beginnings of a beautiful winter wonderland. The snow is thick and heavy, clumping on the tall grass outside of their house and on the pathway leading up to the front door. Yoko brushes the snow that’s caught in his hair, and then chuckles as she touches his frozen cheeks.

“Aren’t you cold?” she asks him.

“Nuh uh,” Yuuya tells her. He holds up his pail full of grass and flowers. “I’m looking for sunflower seeds for Grace’s hamster.”

Yoko peers inside the pail. “Sunflower seeds only come from sunflowers, Yuuya, but I bet Grace’s hamster will still like all this soft bedding.” Twisting her lips, Yoko asks, “Where is Grace, anyways?”

“I’ll go find her, Mama,” Yuuya says. “She’s probably in the fields somewhere.” He gives his mother one quick hug, and then hurries back down the stairs. “Bye bye, Mama! I’ll come back for dinner!” he calls behind him. The wind scoops up whatever words Yoko calls back to him. Yuuya runs through the fields again, brushing away the snow that clings to the grass and weeds. 

_ Grace plays in the deep grass,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ She’s taller than me, and so she won’t get lost in there.  _ Even when Yuuya stretches up on his tiptoes, he can’t quite see over the tall strands of grass. Nonetheless, it doesn’t stop him. Yuuya keeps walking forward, listening for any sounds of footsteps. 

At last, Yuuya hears her voice. Grace is loud and confident, a born entertainer. Even in the cold, snowy weather, when Yuuya peeks through the dead grass he sees her in her rain jacket and boots. Her long, silver hair blows in the breeze. She’s several years older than him – old enough to go to school and learn, and old enough for Yuuya to think of her like his big sister.

“Sis!” Yuuya says when he spots her. He jumps through the ferns and runs to embrace her. “I found you!”

Grace pretends she doesn’t see him; however, the moment he’s close enough she scoops him up and swings him around, his face buried in her chest. She’s stronger than any kid he knows, and the only one who can carry him in this way. They laugh together as they spin around and around, until Grace gets dizzy and they both drop to the hard ground.

“Yuuya!” she greets. “Have you seen all the snow around?”

He nods. “Uh huh, and I’ve been playing in it all morning. Oh –” Yuuya’s eyes fall back on the pail he’s left back where he was hiding, and he scurries over to retrieve it. He holds it out for Grace to see. “Look, I brought some things for your hamster! You want to take good care of him, don’t you?”

“My hamster is a  _ girl,”  _ Grace corrects, “but yes, she needs lots of soft bedding. This should work … once I dry it out.” She bonks him on the head, taking the pail from his hands. “Yuuya, this is all wet. Where even did you get this?”

He holds his head, and then buries into her side. “I found it by my house. I’m … sorry it’s all wet –”

“It’s fine,” Grace tells him. She swings the pail back and forth, churning the dirty, soggy grass around. “I’m happy you brought this for me, Yuuya. Why don’t we go find some more? We should go find my sister, too.”

Yuuya swallows. “You have … a sister?” Every day he’s played with Grace in the fields. He’s never seen anyone else before, much less another older girl like Grace. Or maybe Grace’s sister is younger, his age even. If the other girl is younger, that means she could play with Yuuya  _ all day  _ and not just when Grace comes home from elementary school.

Grace takes his hand and begins leading him through the grass. She weaves through the tendrils, movements fluid. “Yeah, I have an older sister, Yuuya. I guess you’ve never met her before, right?” She laughs. “Sometimes she’s being so mature and serious that she won’t come out to play with me, but I bet she’ll help me gather bedding for my hamster.”

_ A big sister,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ Grace is my big sister, and she’s also a little sister.  _ He skips after her. “Well, what’s your big sister’s name?”

“Gloria.”

Yuuya whispers the name under his breath. Gloria, Grace’s big sister. 

When they get to the edge of the fields, the grass opens up to a large clearing dotted with small shrubs and weeds. The snow has begun to create a film over the ground, but Yuuya can still see sprigs of greenery peeking through. And, just beyond the clearing, is a girl sitting on a lone bench, head bowed over a textbook in her lap.

“Sis! Sis!” Grace calls out, waving her hands. “Come help us!”

Gloria looks up. Unlike her sister, Gloria has blonde hair and piercing eyes. She doesn't have the same cherubic face or the same friendly spirit; she looks harsh, like maturity has shredded the childhood within her. She closes the book with a firm  _ slam!  _ and stands. “What are you doing?” she says, voice low and gravelly.

“Finding bedding for the hamster!” Grace says. “Come on and help us.”

“You should be studying, Grace, not fooling around in the snow.”

“Oh come  _ on,  _ Sis, it’s fine. Besides, we should gather as much bedding as possible before the snowstorm  _ really  _ hits and then we can’t even see the ground.”

Gloria says nothing. Her eyes fall on Yuuya, sheltered behind Grace, and she raises one slender, blonde eyebrow. “Who’s the twerp there?”

Grace’s hand rests on his shoulder. “My little brother, Yuuya.”

“You don’t have a brother.”

“I do too!”

In the blink of an eye, Yuuya realises that Gloria is standing before him. She’s taller than both him and Grace, staring down at them with molten eyes. She snatches her sister’s hand off of his shoulder, and then drags Grace away. Panicking, Yuuya cries out for Grace to come back. What is Gloria doing? 

“You need to study,” Gloria says. “Stop fooling around.”

Yuuya hurries forward, heart racing. “Hey, wait! Sis – no, Gloria, stop! We’re just –”

Gloria turns around, hand still tight on Grace’s wrist. She juts out her bottom lip and narrow his eyes, looking like a predator staring down at her prey. “Yuuya.” She spits out his name. “She’s not your sister, so leave her alone.” Giving Grace’s arm an emphatic shake, she says, “This is  _ my  _ sister, and you don’t get to play with her. If you can’t play with kids your own age, you’ll be all alone.”

And with that, Gloria storms off, never letting go of Grace’s wrist. The two of them disappear into the thick grass after a moment, and their shadows are caught up in the growing snowstorm. Yuuya stands, head bowed, waiting for Grace to run back to him. He saw her expression, tears in her eyes. Why didn’t she fight back? Why did she listen to Gloria?

_ That’s not your sister. _

Yuuya swallows the pit in his throat. He’s alone, isn’t he? Grace was his first friend, his  _ only  _ friend. She visited him after school to play with him, told him stories about being in a classroom and learning. From Grace, Yuuya smiled more and more. And now, watching the blowing grass where she disappeared, Yuuya feels a hole in his heart that he can’t fill. He feels empty, defeated. Thick tears begin to roll down his cheeks, freezing on contact.

“Grace …” he mumbles. Sniffling, he runs his arm over his face. His snot will soon freeze to his skin; already, his hands feel numb. 

On the walk back home, Yuuya keeps his hands in tight fists. His bowed head lets the tears drip down his cheeks and onto the snow beneath his boots. Gloria took his friend away from him. Gloria is Grace’s big sister … but Yuuya is Grace’s little brother. Yuuya won’t let Gloria take her sister away. Yuuya doesn’t know where the sister live, but he’ll go searching through the fields for them. 

When Yuuya gets home, stepping through the door into his slightly warmer house, Yoko spots him at once. “Yuuya, are you crying?” she says. “Here, let’s get your eyes.” She comes at him with a tissue to blot away the tears and snot on his face, and then she kisses his cheek. “You’ve come at just the right time: dinner is almost ready. Come here, let’s get you out of your wet clothes and into something drier. Then you can tell me what happened at the table.”

Yuuya nods, wiping at the new tears in his eyes. Yoko cleans those away too. While she sets the table, Yuuya hurries into their shared bedroom and strips off his wet clothes. He bundles up in warm pyjamas and thick, wool socks. In the mirror, he sees his red face, puffy eyes, and pink nose, and he tries to rub away the sad image looking back at him. 

It doesn’t work.

He returns to the table, where Yoko beckons him over. She doesn’t say anything at first, letting him take a couple sips of his miso soup and pick at the fried squid on his plate. Then she leans on one hand and sighs. “What happened, Yuuya?”

He never lies to Yoko. “Grace has a sister.”

“Hm?” Yoko takes a deep sip of her soup. “That girl you play in the fields with?”

He nods. “She has a big sister, one that doesn’t want her to play anymore. I won’t get to play with Grace again.”

Once again, his mother lets a silence lull over them. Their dinner times are peaceful, a place to rest one’s mind and be together. “Do you want to keep being friends with Grace?” she says at last.

“I do.” Yuuya sets down his chopsticks and stares down the table. “I do, Mama.”

“Then you should go and find her tomorrow. You don’t have to know what happened, but you should talk with her. You need to let your friend know how you feel.”

Like many times before, Yuuya leaves the table with a full belly and heart. His mother helps him fill the holes in his heart, no matter how small. She listens to him, even when she takes him in for a bath together to warm up. They splash in the water, cleaning each other’s hair. Yuuya likes the feel of long hair in his hands, and playfully his mother asks him, “Maybe someday you’ll meet someone with long hair too.”

“I hope so,” Yuuya says. He pushes his face into the back of Yoko’s wet hair and breathes in. “Grace has long hair too, like you, Mama. And her sister … she has long hair too – long, blonde hair.”

Yoko strokes his head, tousling the red and green strands. “Let’s sit in the bath for a bit and then get ready for bed. You’re looking tired. I can tell.”

Humming under his breath, Yuuya nods. He soaks in the warm water with his mother. Afterwards, he hopes into his pyjamas and snuggles under the blankets with her. They sleep together, side by side, hands held.

_ Tomorrow, I’ll be Grace’s friend. I won’t give up on my friends. _

Sure enough, in the morning Yuuya waits on the step outside of the house for Grace. He’s not patient, legs tapping; at times, he can’t even  _ sit  _ and he ends up running through the grass, collecting snow to build sculptures outside. Even when Yoko calls him in for lunch, Yuuya keeps his eyes focused on the clock, on the day slipping by. Soon, he’ll go off in search of Grace. Soon, he’ll find her.

When three o’clock hits, he heads back into the deep grass. He snatches up a shovel, a weapon to protect himself should Gloria grab Grace’s wrist and drag her away. He’ll protect Grace from her sister and keep being her friend. It’s not fair that she can’t play with him. She  _ wanted  _ to play with him, Yuuya knows it.

Each step he takes is deliberate, a march towards victory. Yuuya doesn’t know where he’s going, but among the grass and snow he doesn’t feel small anymore. He walks straight, feeling the reeds brush on his frozen cheeks. Not a single tear falls from his eyes. He keeps his gaze forward until the tall grass opens up into a clearing, and just beyond it Yuuya sees.

_ Grace.  _ She’s walking down a path, still wearing her backpack. Gloria is nowhere in sight; Grace must not have even gone home. However … Yuuya chews his lip. Grace is walking down a worn path, the snow brushed aside, towards a storehouse. Having not looked up once while he was walking, Yuuya didn’t realise where he was heading to. In fact, he’s never been this far before. A glance behind him reveals that Yuuya’s house is but a speck in the distance.

Grace keeps walking towards the storehouse, but … she's with someone. A man. He opens the door for Grace and leads her into the rickety building. 

Deep in Yuuya’s stomach, a feeling of dread surfaces.

The door closes before he can pull Grace back.

It doesn’t keep him rooted for long though. Yuuya runs out of the grass and down the path, screaming her name. “Sis! Sis! Where are you going?” At the entrance to the building, Yuuya looks up. The boards are weathered and rotting in places; this building must have been here for years. When Yuuya bangs on the door, no one answers. “Hey, open up! I wanna play with you!”

No answer.

Balling his hands in fists, Yuuya screams her name: “Grace!”

Nothing he does makes the door open. Even when Yuuya presses his ear to the cold, chipping wood, he can’t hear anything inside. Did Grace go in there with her sister? No, the person in the storehouse was tall, a grown-up man. And the eyes Yuuya saw. From a distance, those eyes jutted out of their sockets like a frog.

_ Thud! _

The door swings open and collides with Yuuya’s head. He’s knocked to his feet, holding his head in pain. From the corner of his eye though Yuuya can see white hair blowing in the breeze, and he hears his name. “Yuuya, what the hell are you doing?” Grace’s hand reaches down and yanks him to his feet. “You idiot, what were you doing pressed against the door –”

Yuuya launches himself onto Grace, letting her hands hold him up. “I found you, Sis!” He nuzzles into her chest, legs dangling beneath him. “I found you!”

“Yeah, and I knocked your brains out. Geez, be careful!” She sets him down and pats the dirt and snow that cling to his jacket and hair. “I could’ve really beamed you with the door, you know that? You’ve got to be careful.”

Yuuya doesn’t listen to her though. He peeks around Grace to the door that is still open. “What’s … in there?”

Grace tugs his head back so he’s looking at her. Then she reaches into her pocket and shows him two things. The first is a small, clear bag of seeds – sunflower seeds, like the ones Yuuya had been searching for in the fields. The second thing is a set of three cards. They have bright designs on them, and kanji that Yuuya can’t read.

“Check out what I got!” Grace tells him. “My teacher has a hamster too, and he gave me some sunflower seeds. He says that hamsters need to have a good diet if you want them to live for a long time. And these” – she waves the cards back and forth – “are Duel Monsters cards. I … don’t know what they’re for, but check them out! Smile World, The Warrior Returning from Battle, and Amazoness Magic Mirror.”

Stretching up on his tiptoes, Yuuya peers at the cards.  _ This must be a game that big kids play, probably a game everyone at school knows about.  _ He squints at the kanji.  _ What even is it for though? _

“If I bring these to school, I can show my friends that I have Duel Monsters cards too.” A harsh gust of wind blows by, and Grace’s shoulders quiver. “It’s … much colder than yesterday, isn’t it?”

Yuuya nods. He takes Grace’s hands and holds them together.

“Your hands are cold!” Grace berates him “Where are your gloves? Did you lose them  _ again?”  _

He shrugs and laughs, and Grace laughs with him. “Come on, let’s head back home. Don’t tell my sister, OK? She’ll strangle me if she finds out, but … I’m really glad you came back for me.” Together, she walks him back and away from the storehouse. Before it’s gone from sight, Yuuya looks over his shoulder and gives it one more glance. Something about that place seems … off. Now Yuuya can see the man inside, the one with the bulging eyes.

_ Who is he?  _

“Hey, kids!” Yuuya blinks, looking up. There’s another man in the distance, this one quite visible. He looks like a mime in a sense, or maybe someone with a lot of face makeup. “You’re gonna freeze out there! Come on inside!” 

Grace waves at the guy, and Yuuya waves too. After all, he is rather cold, and this man looks quite friendly. That man behind him though. Yuuya doesn’t look back once as he follows Grace and the man towards a little house. He doesn’t want to see those eyes anymore.

The little house they’re led into is warm: at the doorway, Yuuya and Grace breathe a sigh of relief. There’s a heater in the centre of the room that several wooden chairs and a threadbare couch sit around; the seats are taken by several other adults, so with the man’s permission, Yuuya and Grace kick off their shoes and boots and take a seat up at the couch.

Among the other men at this house, none of them look particularly friendly. They’re all big and beefy, wearing chains and leather and dark clothing. Yuuya smiles up at them and they frown back, like a collective of grouchiness. He doesn’t make eye contact after that.

As Yuuya and Grace climb up to sit at the couch, one of the other men – Gruff, Yuuya decides to call him – grabs their saviour by the throat and yanks him forward. “This isn’t a place for  _ kids,  _ you know that! What the fuck are they doing here?”

Their saviour raises his hands in protest. “I’m sorry, sir, truly. They’ll be gone soon, just once they warm up a bit.”

Yuuya raises a hand to his frozen cheeks. Now that he’s settled on the couch around the heater, he  _ is  _ cold. His fingers ache, and any exposed part of his body feels numb. Next to him, Grace seems to have a similar expression. Neither of them say anything though; wherever they’ve ended up, they are not welcome by all the adults here. 

Before Yuuya can think for a second longer, Gruff throws a punch at their saviour. It connects with his nose, and the nice man stumbles back with blood dripping between his fingers. He doesn’t protest though, or even punch back. He just looks down at the ground and says, “Give me an hour and then I’ll take them out. They’re just cold.”

Sitting on the couch in this strange house, Yuuya holds his tongue. Grace does the same. This man saved them … at his expense. They don’t say anything the entire time they are at the house, too afraid that if they speak up they will be beaten – or worse, that their saviour will be beaten. Yuuya holds his hands in his lap and warms up as much as he can. When the time is up, their saviour leads them out of the house.

“I’m sorry,” Grace tells the man.

“Me too,” Yuuya adds.

The man just smiles at them. “It’s not your fault. Now, walk back home now. It’s not safe to be out here in this storm, and not dressed so poorly.”

They nod in agreement, and then take off without another look back. As he steps through the deep snow, head bowed to the wind that slaps his cheeks, Yuuya thinks about why that man saved them. What … happened? 

Justice. 

His mind spins, the snow catching in his eyes now. That man back then was at the right place at the right time, and even if he didn’t know it, he did an act of justice.

_ And me? What did I do? _

_ I did justice too … somehow. _

Yuuya blinks away the snow. Today, when he went out with Grace to the storehouse … when Grace came  _ out  _ of the storehouse. Why does he remember this? Why is this important? 

Eyes. 

Yuuya remembers the frog-like eyes peering through the door, the same eyes he’s seen  _ before and before and before,  _ like time has repeated itself for him. A clue. He’s found a clue, one that he’ll remember forever. Back then, that man …

_ Thud.  _

Yuuya swallows. He can’t see the world before him. He squeezes his hand, but he’s no longer holding onto Grace’s fingers, no longer following her through the tall grass back to his house. He’s not sure where he is, but –

_ Thud! _

He feels another hand in his, warm and soft. It’s not cold like when he was out in the snow; in fact, this building is heated. There are warm lights shining down on Yuuya. Bit by bit his vision grows, spreading out like a beautiful panorama shot. The further Yuuya looks, the more he sees the world before him: the museum with its beige walls decorated with artefacts; the wide windows spilling in sunlight. The snow is still there, out there, but it’s no longer hurting him.

His finger are squeezed in someone’s grip. Looking up, Yuuya’s eyes fall on Reira, smiling at him. She’s wearing her warm, red scarf. Her eyes glimmer, and her cheeks are rosy. Yuuya’s heart swells as he realises where he is, where he’s returned to. Behind Reira, his friends have just come to the museum. Yuugo is tugging at the tassles on Yuuri’s hat, telling him that he looks like a jester. Yuuri, in retaliation, slaps Yuugo’s hands away.

And Yuuto. Just to the side, Yuuto stands with his hands in his pockets, looking around at everyone. His earmuffs hang around his neck; the snow has drooped his purple bangs forward, and he brushes them away with a gloved hand.

_ I’m back with my friends. _

Yuuya feels his eyes mist over with unshed tears.

_ I did it! The rerun worked. I’m back in 1988. I’m back … _

“Sakaki, are you crying?” Reira asks. “Why are you getting so emotional?”

_ I’m back before Reira’s death. I have one more chance to save him. _

Yuuya knows  _ exactly  _ where he is. This is when he went on his date with Reira, when he successfully got Reira out of the house on Saturday so she wouldn’t get beaten by Himika. Then Yuuya’s friends showed up out of the blue all claiming that they’d finished their errands – or, in Yuugo’s case, claimed he’d given up on studying – and wanted to hangout. Yuuya remembers this memory well. It brings a fond smile to his face.

“Yuuya?” Yuuto calls. “Ready to head out?”

Yuuya nods. As Yuugo and Yuuri lead the way, and Yuuto follows behind them, Yuuya holds tight to Reira’s hand. 

_ This time, I’ll get it done. I’ll save you, Reira. I won’t have any regrets, and I won’t hold back. No matter what, I’ll protect you. I don’t know if I’ll ever get this chance again, so I need to have hope and take a step forward with courage. Not only do I need to save you, but my actions will affect the future. I have Mom and Yuzu depending on me too.  _

_ I won’t give up. I won’t hold back. _

_ This is my last rerun. _

Outside, the snow falls on their heads and clumps on the streets below. Yuuri stretches his arms up high above his head, yawns loudly, and says, “I’m starving.” Then, with a cheeky smirk, he turns to Yuugo. “Hey, you should buy something for me.”

“Buy something for you?” Yuugo scoffs. “I’m not buying you anything.” He kicks at the ground, cheeks flushing. “Besides, I’m broke.”

“Me too,”  Yuuri mumbles. 

At their words, Yuuto chuckles. “I guess, when it comes down to it, it’s kinda hard to have fun if you’re broke. So many things cost money –”

“Way to be optimistic, Yuuto,” Yuuri mutters. 

“But,” Yuuto continues, holding up a hand, “I bet if we pitched in our money, we could buy something for all of us to share. It wouldn’t be big, just a light snack.”

It seems like a fair solution, one that would benefit everyone. With a smile, all five of them stick their hands in their pockets to look for spare change. Yuuya’s hands fall on the money that Yoko left him for the date. It feels like so long ago that he and Yoko had that conversation at the table. Yuuya paid for the date with his pocket money, and then planned on using Yoko’s money to take Reira out for lunch. Now though, he supposes he can spend this money on everyone.

Triumphantly, Yuuya pulls out a wad of bills. “Mama gave me money, so let’s split it!”

Yuugo’s mouth drops. “You had  _ that  _ much cash in your pockets and you didn’t bring it up!”

Slyly, Yuuri adds, “So greedy, Yuuya.”

And Yuuto calms them all down. “Yuuya, that’s so kind of you to treat all of us. It’s only fair then that you pick the snack, right?”

“Right, so …” Yuuya taps his chin, thinking about a snack to share. “Let’s go get crepes, the kinds with whipped cream and berries on them.” At his friend’s pleased faces, Yuuya waves them forward. “I’ll show you where the best shop is, come on!”

Their party of five sets off. Behind him, Yuuya can hear his friends eagerly talking about what flavour they’ll get. He doesn’t let go of Reira’s hand, keeping her right up at the front with him. Yuuya promises himself that he won’t let Reira out of his sight. No mistakes this time. He can’t let Reira disappear once more.

“Hey, Yuuya.” Yuuto hops up a few steps to walk on the other side of him. His earmuffs are pulled up now, and the black balls on either side of his head make him look like a martian. “I wanted to ask you: did you finish the book I lent you?”

_ A book?  _ Yuuya doesn’t remember this in the previous timeline; then again, he’s living in a very different dimension now. Perhaps Yuuto lent him the book a long time ago, or maybe this timeline is so different that Yuuya  _ can’t  _ rely on what he already knows. Besides, how is he supposed to remember a book from eighteen years ago? 

Rubbing his head, Yuuya asks, “What’s it called?”

“A Swapped Man by Poe.” He looks down at the ground, cheeks reddening. “It’s a bit of a mature read, but you said you wanted the challenge.”

_ Play it cool.  _ Yuuya shrugs. “Sorry Yuuto, I haven’t read it yet.”

Yuuto smiles at him. “That’s fine, but maybe you should read it when you get home. We can talk about it at school on Monday.”

The last time Yuuto told him to read a book, it was the anthology where a clue was hidden about Reira’s abuse. Yuuya wonders if this is the next clue for him.

“Thanks, Yuuto!” 

He remembers it the entire walk to and from the crepe shop, and all the way back to his and Reira’s houses. Once again, Yuuya finds himself at the end of Reira’s driveway, the seemingly-uninhabited house. The blinds are all closed, and there is only one set of footprints in the deep snow: Reira’s footprints from this morning. Yuuya swallows as he remembers standing by Reira’s house and seeing the mittens in the garbage bag.

No. 

Reira is still alive and with him.

He’s saved Reira from the day where Himika beats her. Reira will show up in class on Monday, clean-faced and happy. 

Reira drops his hand and stands at the end of her driveway. He doesn’t smile, but there’s a glow around him from the dripping sunset. “Thanks for such a fun day, Yuuya. I really appreciate it.”

Blushing, Yuuya scratches the back of his head. “Well, it was fun for me too, so thanks for coming. I’m glad I got to spend time with you.” Coughing into his fist, he adds, “See you on Monday, Akaba.”

Reira blushes back. “See you on Monday, Sakaki.”

He skips the entire way home. Just like before, he’s protected Reira. This day was successful: Reira trusts him. The mistakes he made were in the future, when he left Reira alone after the party. Yuuya won’t make that mistake again. However, knowing the future has its benefits: Yuuya knows what days Reira will die, and he’ll protect her from  _ both.  _

The snow caresses his cheeks on the way home, and he bounces even through the deepest parts of snow. He walks through the lit streets underneath the star-speckled sky all the way up to his house. At his doorstep, Yuuya presses his hand to the door and holds his breath. Behind that door is a woman he plans to save: his mother. She’s alive in this timeline.

He opens the door and steps inside. Yoko is at the kitchen, cooking away with her hips twirling and her hair bouncing on her shoulders. She’s  _ dancing  _ in the kitchen, a beautiful figure moving to her own beat. When she sees him in the doorway, she cocks a smirk and says, “Welcome back, Yuuya. Dinner will be ready soon.”

_ She’s alive.  _

She looks better than Yuuya ever thought she would, green eyes sparkling. In her hands she holds a pair of long cooking chopsticks that she uses to stirfry the vegetables on the stove. Everything about her makes Yuuya’s heart well up. Once again, he’s in a timeline where  _ she  _ isn’t missing. 

“What’s wrong?” she asks, leaning her head to the side. “You’re kinda spacing out there …”

Tears well up in Yuuya’s eyes. His throat feels thick and clogged, like the emotions inside him are trying their darndest to get out. 

“Did you and Reira have a fight?”

He shakes his head, rubbing at his eyes and nose. “N-no –”

Yoko kneels before him, tissue in hand to clean his face with. She moves like a spectre and looks like an angel: with gentle movements she cleans under his eyes and nose, and then runs her hand along his cheek. 

“We actually” – Yuuya sniffles and then takes a deep breath – “had a really fun time, Mama.”

Rolling back on her heels, Yoko nods. She stands then and returns to the kitchen. “I’m glad to hear that, Yuuya. Let’s have dinner then.”

Yuuya nods. “Lemme just put my backpack away first.” He carries it up and to the room. When he returns though, he doesn’t move from the doorway, eyes falling to the carpet. “Mom.” Yuuya purses his lips. “Please remember this.”

She looks up from her cooking and frowns. “What?”

“The truth is, you can get to Academia with only one train from here.”

She blinks. Frowns. Leans her head to the side. “What … are you talking about?”

“Just something to remember, Mama. Now let’s eat.” While Yoko brings out the different dishes, Yuuya sets the table for both of them. They take their place – two people at a table with three chairs – and eat in company. Yuuya tells her about going to the museum with Reira, and then to the crepe shop when he met up with his other friends. He tells her about the fun they had, and the money they spent hanging out.

“Aren’t you glad I gave you some money?” she teases.

“I am.” Yuuya takes a bite of his meal. At that moment, Yuuya remembers the other thing that happened during the date, the little detail that Yuuto brought up. “Hey Mama, Yuuto says he lent me a book by Poe. I … don’t really know where it is, and I’d hate to lose it on him. Have you seen it?” For Yoko, it hasn’t been eighteen years in the future. If he brought something home, surely she would have seen it.

But Yoko chews her lip and shakes her head. “I don’t think you brought any book like that home, and if you did you never showed me.” When she sees his pouting lips though, she adds, “But that doesn’t mean it’s not here in this house. After dinner, let’s look for it together. The house isn’t  _ that  _ big, so it couldn’t have gone far.”

* * *

_ Shit,  _ thinks Yuuya, chewing on his lip. He can’t find the book. He’s looked everywhere for it, and nowhere in the bedroom or in the main room is Yuuto’s book. Yuuya has half a mind to upturn the entire house just to find it.

“Are you sure it’s not in your backpack?” Yoko says, leaning against the doorframe to the bedroom. Her arms are crossed before her chest, shoulders sagging under the weight of the dreary morning.

“Certain,” Yuuya answers. “Yuuto said I hadn’t returned it either, and he’s going to be asking about it. He told me I should read it.” He pulls at his goggles and the tips of his hair, then drags his hands down his cheeks. “Mama, what do I tell him?”

She raises a slender eyebrow. “The truth?”

He hangs his head forward. “But then I’ll get in trouble …”

“You’ll get in more trouble if you lie and he finds out.” Pushing off from the doorway, she comes to kneel down before him and zip up his jacket. “It sucks that you’ve lost it, but you want to be honest to your friends. I know you do. Just tell him that you’ll keep looking for it because that’s a promise you can keep, and let him do the worrying. OK?”

He nods his head. “OK.”

She gives him a push towards the door. Yuuya hops down and pulls out his soggy runners. He should invest in proper winter boots, but for now these will have to do. Once he’s dressed, Yoko gives him one last hug goodbye and then sees him out the door with a wave and a smile. Through the blustering snow around him, Yuuya waves goodbye. He makes sure to make it meaningful – after all, he needs to make everything he does in this rerun count.

Once out on the dusty, snowy streets, Yuuya walks to school with purpose. However, when he gets to the fork in the road, he backtracks to find Reira. He needs to be with her today; he needs to be with her always to make sure that she’s never alone and in a victim position. He walks to her house, the one with its windows and blinds closed and the hidden footprints down the pathway, and he knocks on her old, wooden door.

“Akaba? It’s Yuuya.”

The door opens and one eye peers out at him. “Sakaki?”

He nods. “Let’s walk to school together today.”

She nods in reply. “Wait.” The door closes on him. Smiling, Yuuya turns and hops back down the stairs. He takes his place at the bottom step, and peeks over his shoulder when he hears the door swing open. Reira comes out in her long peacoat and red scarf, essential winter clothes that Yuuya can’t imagine her not wearing. Her hands are bare, and she rolls them into her coat sleeves as she descends.

“Usually we just walk home …” he mentions, looking away when Yuuya continues to stare.

“Well, since we live so close to one another we should walk to  _ and  _ from school, don’t you think?”

“I guess.”

Yuuya reaches out and grabs hold of Reira’s fingers. Reira doesn’t pull his hand back, and that gesture alone speaks volumes. Yuuya then takes hold of Reira’s hand, clasping them together. “Your hands look cold,” Yuuya says, “and … mine kinda are too. Let’s hold hands today.”

Reira looks from their hands to Yuuya’s eyes, and then back again. “Sure,” he mumbles.

With that, they set off towards the school. The skin on the back of his hand is chilled from holding onto Reira’s; however, the warmth between their palms more than makes up for the slight discomfort. All through the walk Yuuya feels his heart thrumming in his chest. When they get to the school grounds, it becomes much more crowded. Students mill through the tall gates and down the path bordered by the fields. The moment someone lays eyes on them Yuuya feels Reira’s hand try to slip back into his sleeve. He holds on though; Yuuya isn’t embarrassed at all.

“Pretty bold, huh, Yuuya?” a voice whispers in his ear.

_ That  _ has him blushing! Yuuya whirs around to spot Yuuri leaning back, hands shoved in his pockets. He has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face, like he’s spilled a lie.

However, Yuuya’s mind doesn’t focus on that. No, someone said that in the last rerun … but it was later. Yuuya wasn’t this bold before. He was cautious about befriending Reira and spoiling the friendship too early. Now though, Yuuya knows he needs to be quick. Reira goes missing the night of the party and just after his birthday. That’s … two days away. Yuuya has two days to find a new plan or else the same, terrible fate will repeat itself.

They walk up the steps to the building, and only then does Yuuya let go of Reira’s hands. It’s not the last time they see each other: no, Yuuya quickly throws his winter clothes into his locker and changes into his indoor shoes. When he’s does, he hurries round to Reira’s locker to wait for her. He catches more students watching him, their wide eyes trying to discern just what he’s doing. 

_ I’m taking charge,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ I wasn’t brave enough last time. I had no hope in myself and how I could change my future. But now … now I have hope, and it’s brighter than ever. I’ll make sure Reira survives this time. _

They head up to the classroom together, where everyone has yet to take their seats. Most students are sitting on their desks chatting about manga or video games, titles that Yuuya hasn’t heard in eighteen years. It’s background noise to him through. Through the cluster of faces Yuuya spots his friends by the windowsill. Yuugo and Yuuri are bickering as usual, with Yuuto leaning against the window and ignoring their childishness.

Yuuya leans into Reira and tells him, “I need to ask Yuuto something, but why don’t you come talk to Yuugo and Yuuri?”

Reira nods and steps past him. In the past, Yuuya doesn’t know if Reira would even consider approaching Yuuya’s friends; Reira only seemed interested in him. Now though, Yuuya watches her stand next to Yuugo and begin asking him about his future career plans, to which Yuugo tells her he’ll be a mechanic or a motorcycle racer, or something that puts his life in danger.

When he sees that Reira is OK, Yuuya approaches Yuuto. He peers over the book Yuuto is reading – one with a name Yuuya can’t begin to pronounce – and asks, “What are you reading there?”

Yuuto places his finger to mark his place, and closes the book with a  _ snap!  _ “The book assigned to us for English class,” he says with a raise of an eyebrow. “Did you not do the homework? Yuugo didn’t either.”

_ I should know this,  _ Yuuya thinks, and his cheeks burn. “Ah hah, I guess I’m a bit sleepy this morning. Speaking of books …” His voice tapers off, catching in his throat. Yuuya clears it with a slight cough, and then continues: “By the way, I’m sorry about this, but … I can’t find the book you lent me. Mama and I searched everywhere for it, but we haven’t found it. We’ll keep looking, but I thought I should let you know.”

At his words, Yuuto leans his head to the side. He doesn’t look upset; his facial expression hasn’t changed. “Yuuya,” he says at last, “can we have a moment outside of the classroom? I want to ask you something, but it’s a bit loud here.”

Yuuya swallows. What could Yuuto possibly want with him? After all, in the last timeline Yuuto never even asked him about the book. Could this be a clue? Does Yuuto have something he needs to tell him, perhaps even something that he can’t say around Reira or any nosey classmates? 

Yuuya’s heart thuds in his chest as he follows Yuuto out of the classroom. Where they go isn’t anywhere private – it’s the stairwell. However, at this hour most students are in their classes, and so it’s quiet by the stairs. The wide windows show that there isn’t even anyone coming in through the main gate. 

Yuuto takes him down one flight of stairs before he turns around and crosses his arms. His eyebrows mesh together and his lips purse as if he’s deep in thought. “Thanks for coming with me, Yuuya. I just … let me tell you this first.” He drops his hands into his pockets. “You’ve become real lately.”

_ I … have?  _

“I mean,” Yuuto continues, “you used to pretend to care, you really did, but it was so visibly fake that sometimes I cringed. You didn’t truly care about anyone – you were just putting on an act. I let you do it and turned a blind eye to it because you were trying. But now, you talk openly, you listen to others. You’re real, Yuuya, and I like the present you much more.”

His cheeks darken at Yuuto’s words. “Thanks, Yuuto,” he murmurs. “I didn’t know you cared so much about me.”

Flippantly, Yuuto tosses his head back. “Forget about the book, OK? It doesn’t matter. Or well, it does, but really I should be apologising to you for it.”

His head lolls to the side. “What … do you mean?” Yuuya asks. 

“Yuuya, I didn’t lend you any book.”

His blood runs cold, heart pumping in his ears. Yuuya swallows a rock in his throat. Questions bounce around in his head like it’s a pinball machine. Why did Yuuto ask him about a book if it never existed? Why did Yuuto trick him? Does he knows that Yuuya is keeping secrets? How much does Yuuto know about what’s going on? 

_ Does Yuuto know I’m from the future? _

Yuuto shrugs his shoulders, looking down at his sneakered feet. “Again, sorry about that, Yuuya, but I wanted an answer to a question that’s been bugging me for a few weeks now, and I wasn’t sure how easily you’d tell me this.”

Yuuya forces a smile. “A-ask me anything, Yuuto.”

He looks up, staring right into Yuuya’s wavering eyes. “Yuuya, who are you?”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: when this fic was originally planned, Yuuya was meant to be Haruto and Yuzu was meant to be Iris. i had this great idea of writing a Haruto+Reira fic, but it just didn't work out and eventually i realised that Yuuya fit the role way. too. well. so yeah, this could have been a _very_ different fic :3

__

_“Who are you?”_

Yuuya swallows. _“Who am I?”_

Yuuto doesn’t stop staring at him, like he’s waiting for Yuuya’s guard to break down and for him to spill every secret. Yuuya almost does. He bites his lip and stares down at his feet. Of all the worries Yuuya had coming back to this timeline, getting caught by Yuuto was not one of them. And how? How could Yuuto put all the minor facts together to figure out something was wrong?

“It feels like you’ve become someone else,” Yuuto explains, and then shakes his head, purple bangs tapping his high cheekbones. “No, that’s wrong. It’s like your personality has shifted – not all of you, because you’re still Yuuya, my friend, but rather you’re a bit different.”

“H-how so?”

“You’re braver, bolder …” Yuuto ticks them off his fingers, and then clenches his fist tight. “People say that you get to know someone best when you understand their heart. I think it’s equally important to understand someone’s mind so you know what they’re thinking about. Teachers say it’s easier to get to know someone when you become closer, but actually sometimes you need to take a step back.”

He takes a step down from the stairs, so he has to look up at Yuuya. “Do you have a grudge on me? Are you hiding something? Are you panicked? Those are the kinds of questions running through your head, right?” A slow smile spreads from cheek to cheek. “The answers to those questions are no, yes, yes.”

Even when Yuuya stands above Yuuto, he doesn’t feel like he has the higher ground. No, Yuuya feels squashed beneath Yuuto’s shoes like a bug. He’s in trouble, isn’t he? This is dangerous, Yuuto knowing what Yuuya’s doing. The more Yuuto knows, the more changes to the timeline Yuuya makes. As important as it is for Yuuya to alter fate, this is out of his control. Yuuto shouldn’t know this much – how did he figure it out? And why didn’t he bring it up in the last rerun?

But … Yuuya has to give him credit. _“You’re amazing, Yuuto._

Yuuto looks up, head tilted towards him. “You said that out loud.”

Yuuya doesn’t say another word, blushing scarlet.

“You’re probably wondering how I figured this all out, right?”

Yuuya nods.

“Well, you’ve given a way a couple of clues, like that time in class when you said we should all go to the secret base to look for your gloves, even though you're the one who came up with the rule of ‘no going to the base when it’s snowing.’ How could you forget your own rule? And then in class, you talk quite maturely to everyone, even to me. You’re Maiami accent makes you sound hip, doesn’t it?” Yuuto holds out his hand, palm up to the ceiling. “And then that book you thought I leant you. Wouldn’t you remember that I never lent you a book? But you believed me right away, even back then. It was like your mind was in another place, and you just agreed at once.

“However, only I seem to have noticed it. I asked Yuugo and Yuuri and they said you seem fine, normal even. I guess either I’m thinking too hard about this, or you’re a really good actor. I think it’s the latter: you hide yourself, Yuuya. You always have. But lately you’ve been hiding a lot, and you’re acting much, much differently from what you used to.”

He settles against the handrail, leaning back with a deep sigh. Yuuto has on a jacket meant for a high-schooler, one with a high collar and simple buttons, and no cutesy or colourful design. Yuuto’s entire wardrobe consists of neutral colours, as if he's going to a job interview.

“In fact,” Yuuto says, “I can pinpoint your change to that one day I caught you staring at Akaba all the time.”

Yuuto swallows hard. “Yuuto, that was –”

“I saw you staring, Yuuya,” he repeats. “I know about Akaba’s scars too.”

 _He knew?_ Yuuya thinks. All through the first rerun Yuuya remembers only talking to Heartland, even though Yuuto once brought it up to him that he was staring at Reira all class. How come Yuuto never interrogated him like ths back then? Is this because they spent the day at the museum? Is this the result of that change – that Yuuto is more cautious than ever about him?

“You’re really obvious sometimes, Yuuya, or maybe I’m just perceptive. I could tell you were acting different, like you were another person. My dad says I’m good at stepping back and seeing the bigger picture. That’s what I did – stepped back and saw how different you were.” He grinds his teeth together, eyebrows furrowed. “I’m good at assessing the situation, but I don’t know anything about solutions. I don’t know how to make things better, at least not by myself. That’s … why I didn’t say anything about Akaba’s scars.”

Eyes narrowed, he stares up at Yuuya. It feels like a deep power is staring through him, like all of Yuuto’s being is trying to relay something to him. “But you’re good at solutions, Yuuya. You are now, at least. This different personality of you … He appeared and showed me ‘this is how you do it’ and ‘this is how it’s done,’ like you were scolding me. You told the teacher about Akaba’s scars, didn’t you? And … you protected Akaba. That’s why you’re friends with him.

“And I … didn’t do anything.” Tears bubble up in Yuuto’s eyes. They don’t fall, but hover on his long, dark eyelashes. “I don’t even know who you are, Yuuya.”

 _Who am I?_ Yuuya asks himself. _I am … a saviour, a protector. I rerun through time to prevent terrible events from occurring, and I’ve returned to this time to save three children in the hopes that it’ll prevent my own mother’s death._ But can he say that to Yuuto? It sounds ridiculous even in his own mind.

Yuuya balls his hands in fists. “Yuuto,” he says, voice deep and rich, “I am an ally of justice.” His cheeks grow rich as his voices echoes around the stairwell. “Er … wannabe, I guess.”

Yuuto’s eyes grow wide – and then he laughs. Openly, jovially. It’s not a mocking laughter, but rather one of pleasure and content. His eyes crinkle at the corners, the tears slipping down his reddening cheeks, and he wipes them away with his fists. “You … You’re a real entertainer, Yuuya.” He laughs once more, and then peeks out from behind his purple bangs. “You really are you.”

Joy wells up in Yuuya’s chest. He’s not embarrassed, at least not yet. Something within him tells him that he can _trust_ Yuuto. Sobering, Yuuya settles down on the step and holds his face in his hands. Yuuto senses the change in mood too, and he comes to sit next to Yuuya. They kick out their feet on the steps and lean back on their arms, heads angled up to the ceiling.

“Yuuto,” Yuuya begins, “Reira will be murdered.”

Yuuto doesn’t say a word, but the depths of his eyes show that he is listening to Yuuya.

“When I went to her house one day, I found her locked up in her family’s shed. She was badly beaten, and there were more bruises on her body. It’s … on Saturdays that her mother beats her. That’s why she doesn’t come to school on Mondays. That time, it was daylight, and so it wasn’t as cold. However … if Reira were left in that shed overnight, she would’ve died. I think something like that will happen again.”

Crunching his hand in a fist, Yuuya says, “I won’t let their be a next time. I need to keep Akaba away from her mother. I won’t let Akaba die.”

Yuuto leans forward against his knees. He angles his head to look at Yuuya, and his expression speaks volumes. “Yuuya.” His voice echoes throughout the stairwell. “You know, you don’t become an ally of justice at the end of the day. You’re an ally right from the start.” He reaches his hand across to grab Yuuya’s, and then firmly shakes it. “I want to help you, Yuuya.”

The sun shines through the window and onto Yuuto’s face. He looks like an angel, another ally.

_I need to change this timeline._

“I also want to be an ally of justice too.”

Yuuya squeezes Yuuto’s hand in return. “Sure, Yuuto. Let’s save Akaba together.”

Yuuto pulls him up to his feet, and together they begin to head back into class. Even though they’re within earshot of the other students, Yuuya feels comfortable to keep talking. Yuuto is a reassuring presence next to him, someone that Yuuya can count on to help him save Reira.

“Before all of this, I actually thought you disliked Akaba,” Yuuto says. “Maybe because you two were too similar.”

“Maybe,” Yuuya says, “but perhaps why I’m drawn to Akaba is _because_ we’re so similar. Even if our circumstances are different, I think I understand her – and I want to get to know her better.” Eyes gazing over the classroom doors, Yuuya says, “It’s like you and me, and how you wanted to help me. I want to help Akaba too.”

Yuuto doesn’t say anything to that.

They enter through the classroom door, all eyes falling upon them. Heartland is at the front of the class, textbook in hand. His eyes narrow when he sees them, and he says, “You’re late. Please take your seats, and come see me during break time.”

Guiltily, Yuuya and Yuuto take their respective seats. However, the guilt doesn’t gnaw at his soul. Yuuya knows he’s made the right choice by trusting Yuuto. Last time, he had to do everything on his own. He didn’t trust anyone to help him, even when they insisted on it, and it might have been what led to his failure to save Reira. This time though, Yuuya knows he can’t do it alone – not anymore. If he can trust in Yuuto and his brains, maybe Yuuya can change the future.

Throughout class, no negative thoughts plague Yuuya. He sits tall in his desk and copies the notes on the board. From time to time Reira snatches glances back at him, ones that make Yuuya’s cheeks redden. This day in the last rerun wasn’t as meaningful. Yuuya doesn’t remember feeling this way … then again though, back then he was still thinking over how he’d change time.

When class ends for the day, Yuuya packs up his bag, ears pricked to the three girls who have run forward to stop Heartland.

“Teacher, is it true you won’t be our homeroom teacher next year?”

“Well of course he won’t – we won’t be in fifth grade anymore!”

“No, he will! He’ll always be our teacher, and he’ll teach our sixth grade class!”

Yuuya’s eyes crinkle in amusement. Heartland is a young, energetic teacher, idolised by many of the girls in the class. As it’s nearly the end of the school year, it makes sense that they’re worrying about losing him. Even Yuuya would feel a bit sad in a classroom without Heartland – he’s a cheery presence to see in the mornings.

The chair next to his screeches back on its legs. Serena stands and hikes her backpack up on her shoulders. Those girls at the front of the class … didn’t Serena used to talk to them? Yuuya’s eyes narrow at the thought. Since when did Serena not talk to them? _Right, it’s because of that day where I called her out for accusing Akaba._

Bowing his head, Yuuya mumbles, “Saotome, I’m sorry about yelling that one time. I don’t think you’re a thief, and it was wrong of me to call you out before the whole class.”

Serena doesn’t turn around, but she stops for a moment. Her shoulders are rigid, head bowed. Then he hears her snort, a short sound deep in her throat. “Whatever. I don’t care.” She takes off without another word.

Sighing, Yuuya packs up his back and waits for Reira to gather her things. They descend to the locker bay together, where they swap out their indoor shoes for their outdoor gear. Once they have their belongings, Yuuya holds Reira’s hand and walks her down the steps to the courtyard. Students are dashing around in the snow, throwing snowballs or making snowmen after class; other students are heading out the main entrance to return home. Standing to the side of the pathway, Yuuya spots Yuuri and Yuuto engaged in conversation.

Yuuto raises a hand when he spots him. “Going home, Yuuya?” he says.

Yuuya shakes his head. “I have a favour to ask you. Can you take Reira to the children’s centre, just for a bit? I want to play with you guys too, but I have an errand I need to run first.”

Reira raises an eyebrow. “I could come …”

“No, no,” Yuuya singsongs, scratching the back of his head, “it’s not anything fun. I’ll come back and play checkers with you, and maybe I’ll have a chance at beating you.” Looking at Yuuri and Yuuto, Yuuya says, “Can you do this for me, please?”

“You owe me,” Yuuri says.

Yuuto, however, simply raises an eyebrow.

It’s an agreement though, and the three of them head off towards the children’s centre. Last time, it was just Yuuri at the children’s centre with Reira. Yuuya doesn’t think it should make much of a difference if Yuuto is there; if anything, it’ll make Yuuto feel like he’s helping Yuuya keep Reira safe.

While the three of them head right, Yuuya runs straight down the main road to the city centre. The snow crunches under his feet – not slippery, thank goodness, but halfway through the run Yuuya realises he’s underestimated how long of a trip this would be, and he slows down to a jog. His breath comes out in heavy pants that creates mist in the air. Even speed-walking though, Yuuya weaves between the pedestrians out shopping. He doesn’t let anything or anyone stop him.

The first place he visits is the convenience store. It’s a little shop that’s the bottom floor of a house, and inside it’s cosily stocked with shelves of candy, baking goods, and all manner of household essentials. It’s busy at this hour too: Yuuya slips through people browsing, eyes searching for a disposable camera. He just needs one.

Once that purchase is complete, Yuuya braves the winter weather once more. This time he heads towards one of the closest suburbs to the city, where the Tsukumo Grocery Store is. The big, jolly sign catches his attention, and the next thing Yuuya knows a man – Yuuma’s father, he realises – is beckoning him inside.

“Yuuya, isn't it? Come inside and have some tea.”

Yuuya waves back. He hurries up the steps with vigour, taking them two at a time until he’s at the shop centre with Kazuma. Unlike Yuuma who tends to hide his accent, Kazuma talks with a thick, Heartland twang – “What’re you doing here? Come on, you’ll gonna catch your death.”

Kazuma leads him inside and to the back of the shop, which Yuuya now realises is a part of the house. The Tsukumo household is cosy, one could say. Paraphernalia hangs from the walls and covers every available surface. Walking down the hallway, Yuuya ducks to avoid two dangling strings of wooden beads while keeping an eye on where he steps. Maps are rolled up and stacked down the corridor into the main room, where there are more artefacts in boxes and on shelves.

“Lemme get Yuuma for ya,” Kazuma says, clapping him on the shoulder.

“T-thanks,” Yuuya says. Unsure whether he’s meant to take a seat somewhere on the couch covered in yarn and wool, Yuuya settles for standing in the main room until Yuuma pops up around the corner, face splitting in a wide grin. He looks the same as in the previous timeline, pink and black hair jolting up around his round face. His eyes are bright with life. He’s also, Yuuya realises, dressed in the brightest get-up of emerald cargo shorts and a sleeveless, red vest under which he wears a yellow t-shirt that reads ‘GOT EGAO?’

“You’re here!” he greets. “You look so awkward standing there, come on up to my room!”

Yuuya takes the invitation with a warm smile and hurries up the stairs after Yuuma. Like the last time he was here, Yuuya’s room is messy, and the attic above it is even messier. Light filters in through the sole window, showering the dusty room in hazy light. There are big crates everywhere but the spot by the window where the hammock hangs. Yuuma collects treasures no matter how old or strange they are.

Just as they get up into the room, Yuuma starts laughing to himself. “I’m pretty hungry, and I bet you are too. Lemme just grab some snacks from downstairs, OK? Make yourself at home up here.”

 _Good,_ thinks Yuuya. The moment Yuuma is gone, Yuuya crawls over to the books hidden between the crates. The hentai manga are still there – Yuuma never threw those away – but the yaoi manga _isn’t._ The killer must’ve planted those books in Yuuma’s room shortly before Yuuri was killed.

When Yuuya hears the sounds of Yuuma climbing up the rope ladder into the attic, he pushes himself away from the books and takes a seat in the middle of the room. Yuuma returns with a plate of rice balls and a bowl of gummy candies. “No drinks, but do you want some?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “All good, Hope.”

Yuuma smiles and that and settles down on the floor next to him. He reaches behind him to his bed, where he pulls down a deck of cards. He spreads them out on the floor, face up so Yuuya can see the Monster, Spell, and Trap cards he’s collected. Yuuya doesn’t remember much about Duel Monsters, but Grace had cards like those, didn’t she? And Yuzu’s dad runs a duel school, doesn’t he? In this rerun, Yuuya knows more about these cards.

“You built this deck all on your own, didn’t you?” Yuuya says.

Yuuma nods. “Blood, sweat, and tears,” he jokes. “It’s a Hope deck, just like me. I collect Hopes.” Scooping up the cards, he begins shuffling them in his large hands. The cards flutter against each other and through the air, like a card trick Yuuya’s eyes can’t follow.

 _What happened last time?_ Yuuya thinks. _How can I change my past actions to save Hope?_

Yuuya swallows. Last time, Yuuma was still a culprit because he didn’t have an alibi for the night Reira was kidnapped. Last time, Reira lived through March 1 because Yuuya didn’t leave her at the park; however, after the party on March 2, when she went home she was beaten for returning late, and froze to death in the shed. Yuuma didn’t have an alibi for that night, and the killer had framed him using boots and putting Reira’s body in the freezer.

Therefore, Yuuma needs an alibi for March 2.

Eyes still focused on Yuuma shuffling the cards through the air, Yuuya asks, “Hey, Hope, is your dad’s bedroom on the first floor?”

Yuuma tilts his head to the side. “Yeah, it’s on the first floor facing the street.” He purses his lips. “Why do you ask?”

Scratching his head, Yuuya lies, “I was just thinking how loud that might be because you live close to town. Don’t you hear the city traffic at night?”

“Not really,” Yuuma says. He sets the cards down on his lap. “I like living here: I’m close enough to the centre of attention, but I can still get away from the noise and go exploring. Heh, maybe someday I’ll live far away from the city noise and in the wild like a proper explorer. That’s for another time though, right?” Giggling, he begins sorting out his cards in three piles: Monster, Spell, and Trap cards.

 _One more thing,_ thinks Yuuya.

“Hey Hope, do you know Akaba Reira?”

“Reira? Of course,” he says, smiling.

Yuuma hides his anxiety with a wide smile. Yuuma admits it so readily, so earnestly. He probably did the same thing when the police questioned him about his relationship with an elementary school girl.

Tapping his chin, Yuuma says, “She’s always at the park across town by herself. One time when I was going for a walk I found her standing all alone. She looked so sad, so I approached her and showed her my trading cards. She really liked them. Usually after work, if I’m not too busy or tired, I’ll walk over to that park and wait for her. I … really like talking to her.” He blushes at the words, and then asks, “Is he in your class?”

Yuuya nods. “Lately, I’ve befriend Akaba. He hangs out with my group of friends – Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri.”

“So that’s why I haven’t seen Reira at the park for a few days …” His eyes sink downwards to the ground, and his body seems to shrink into the darkness. Yuuya leans forward, trying to discern what’s wrong, when Yuuma suddenly springs upright with a cheer. He slaps his knees, scrambling to his feet. “AWESOME!” he shouts. “Way to go, Reira!”

“Way … to –”

Yuuma jumps into the air with another cheer. Eyes sparkling, he looks back down at Yuuya. His entire face has light up in glee. “Ain’t that awesome, Yuuya?”

 _You spoke with an accent, Hope,_ Yuuya thinks. His face splits into a warm smile too. Seeing Yuuma’s happiness sparks those same feelings in Yuuya’s heart.

“I’ve been telling Reira again and again, he just needs to talk to someone, just once, and they’ll realise how friendly he is. Reira always wanted to be someone’s friend, but I think it was hard for him to go out of the house on the weekends. His mom had a lot of chores for him. But now” – Yuuma’s voice cracks in excitement – “he’s made friends in class! I bet he’s so happy to hang out with you.”

“I hope so too,” Yuuya repeats.

“You’re really kind, Yuuya, for wanting to be Reira’s friend.” Yuuma’s voice grows solemn. “I bet he really appreciates it.”

“I’m happy to be Akaba’s friend too.” Yuuya rolls his shoulders back and feels them crack. “Well, Hope, I’ve gotta get back to Akaba. He’s waiting at the children’s centre with my friends. Thanks for talking with me though.”

As Yuuya stands, Yuuma hops to his feet and leads Yuuya back down to the main door. “No prob, no prob,” he says. “I’m just happy you and Akaba are friends – like hey, maybe all my coaching actually paid off and I helped you two become friends.” Puffing out his chest, he says, “I’m pretty proud of myself.”

Yuuya turns on his feet, right at the front of the Tsukumo household. He drops low into a bow. “You should be, Hope. You’ve helped a lot of people, so … thank you.” Rising up, Yuuya slips on his shoes. “Thanks again for having me over! Oh, and thank you, Mr. Tsukumo!”

From around the corner a hand comes out to wave back at him. “Any time, kiddo!”

Yuuma settles down on the top step of the genkan, head held in his hands. “See ya, Yuuya! Come back any time!”

With one last wave, Yuuya heads back out of the house. It’s not snowing, and the snow along the pathway back into the city has been packed down enough that Yuuya can easily run through it. His mind replays back to Yuuma waving at him, Yuuma smiling at him. Everything Yuuma did back then was for the sake of the people he cared about. The killer took advantage of Yuuma’s kindness and framed him. He must’ve been watching Yuuma beforehand, looking for someone to pin the crimes onto.

 _I won’t let anyone close to me get hurt,_ Yuuya thinks.

He hurries back through the city centre and past his elementary school. At this hour, most students have returned home. Yuuya doesn’t see any familiar faces on his trek back. When he gets to the children’s centre, he slips through the double doors and heads up the stairs to the same floor. Last time, Reira and Yuuri were in one of the private rooms playing checkers.

They’re … not. Yuuya turns round the corner and peers into the empty rooms. All the board games and books are in their respective places. The chairs are pushed in and the art supplies organised at one end of the table. The only signs that anyone was _ever_ in this room are the light coming down from the ceiling and the note written across the blackboard.

_Hey, Yuuya, we’ve gone to the gym to play! Come and join us! - Yuuto_

Quickly, Yuuya hurries out of the room and back down the stairs. The gym is on the main level, through the doors Yuuya never bothered to check out when he first brought Reira here. Now though, Yuuya throws them open. Yuuri, Yuuto, and Reira are playing basketball. Yuuto has the ball, dribbling it past Yuuri. He passes to Reira, who catches it with both hands and then sets it up and into the basket.

“Score!” Yuuto says. “Good job, Reira!” At the sound of the door closing, Yuuto looks over his shoulder. “Oh hey, Yuuya!”

Someone barrels into him, landing on his back! “Yuuya, be on my team so I don’t have to be with Yuuri!” Yuugo whines.

 _Yuugo?_ Back at school, Yuuya had only talked to Yuuto and Yuuri about going to the children’s centre with Reira. Yuugo had already gone home; however, Yuugo is currently still on him, moaning into his back that Yuuri is so weak that he can’t even toss the ball up into the basket.

Yuuto crouches down by him, a smirk playing on his lips. “There were too many of us to play checkers together, and not enough to play basketball, so I invited Yuugo over. He loves sports, anyways, and he insisted we go down to the gym to play together. We can still play though, so get up on your feet and go be on Yuuri and Yuugo’s team. Heaven knows they need the help.”

Squirming under Yuugo’s weight, Yuuya rises to his feet. Yuuto’s right: three people at the children’s centre couldn’t play checkers. Yuuto would’ve wanted them to do something together too, rather than do their own thing in the room. He must’ve thought about basketball, and then invited Yuugo over.

 _This day is much, much different,_ Yuuya thinks. _And that’s good, but …_ He swallows. If he makes too many changes, something _too_ drastic might happen. And of course, he shouldn’t be making changes _before_ March 2 or his predictions won’t be correct. If too much changes, Yuuya won’t be able to keep Reira safe on March 1, the first day she’s set to die.

Yuuya’s hands tighten into fists.

_Yuuto, help me keep Reira safe._

* * *

March 1 turns out to be the same as the rerun prior. Heartland makes him and Reira stay overtime to clean the class. His friends don’t wait around for him, running back to his place to surprise him. Yuuya and Reira go to the supermarket to buy sandwich ingredients. When they open the door to the house, Yoko and his friends surprise him. The banner is there too, and the two birthday cakes.

Like last time, they exchange gifts and Reira hasn’t finished hers. Of course, Yuuya still had to keep Reira busy and he couldn’t return home to work on the gloves. Yuuya still has the red gloves to give Reira too, and once more he gets to see her cheeks flare crimson as she holds the cotton gloves in her shaking hands.

The change in time comes when the party winds down and Reira claims that she needs to return home. Yuuya can’t remember the exact time everyone leaves, but he knows that he can’t let Reira return to her house. If she goes home, Himika will beat her and lock her in the cold storehouse, where the killer will then freeze her body and frame Hope. Yuuya can’t let that happen.

As they’re sitting around the table playing cards, Yuuya pushes his chair back. “Hey Mama, I’ve gotta go back to school to grab something, I forgot –”

Her eyes roll up to the clock hanging on the wall. “Yuuya, it’s like seven o’clock. School will be closed –”

“I’ll be fine, Mama!” he assures her, already pulling on his shoes and jacket. With a quick wave to his friends, he says, “Be right back! Keep playing without me!”

Only when he’s outside does he let go of the breath deep inside him, letting it whoosh out of his cold lips. He told such a fake, unbelievable lie, but he needed to. He needed to get out of the house before anyone else left, and especially before Reira went home. Tonight, Yuuya will change the fate. He’ll make sure Reira doesn’t die and Yuuma isn’t framed.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, Yuuya follows the path down and into the city, and then towards Yuuma’s house. It’s still busy on the streets, and the carlights catch in the corners of his eyes. Snowflakes fall in his hair and catch on his goggles. There aren’t enough though to mask footprints, which the killer will use to frame Yuuma. Thus, Yuuya has a plan: he needs to give Yuuma an alibi.

When he gets to the Tsukumo house, he sneaks behind one of the delivery trucks and peers around it. The lights are on on the main level; sure enough, in the corner facing the road Yuuya can see light coming from the window in Kazuma’s room. Whether or not anyone is in that room, it doesn’t matter. All Yuuya needs is for the police to give Yuuma an alibi.

From his pocket Yuuya pulls out a kitchen knife. He jams it into the tire closest to him, and then crawls around to the other tires of the truck. There are delivery scooters too, and Yuuya slashes the tires on those. He hears them hiss out air, such a loud sound that he half expects someone to come out of their house. However, over the deafening sound of the snow falling around him, no one spots him.

Next, Yuuya replaces the knife in his hands with a scrawled note: “Die,” it reads. He wraps it over a heavy stone he finds in the garden out front of the shop, and then takes position by the window. _One, two –_

Yuuya chucks the stone into the window. It shatters the glass on impact, creating a hole several inches wide. However, it does more than just that: Yuuma hears a scream from indoors, and then shouting, and in another moment the front door swings open and a man comes storming out. It’s Kazuma, his face ripped in rage. Yuuya hurries around the corner of the truck, peeking down by the tires to see Kazuma coming towards the window.

_Run._

And Yuuya does. He doesn’t look back at the crime he’s committed; after all, this will give Yuuma _and_ his father an alibi for the time of Reira’s suspected murder. While the police sort of the destruction of property, the killer won’t be able to pin the crime on Yuuma.

Next is Reira.

In the report records, Himika was said to have come home and beaten Reira. Thus, Yuuya knows that, prior to Reira leaving the party, she was out of the house. Yuuya can therefore assume that she’ll be coming off the train and down the road out of the city.

He sneaks down to the overpass by the train, a tall, enclosed structure with a staircase on either side. He crouches under one of the staircase and extracts the last weapon from his jacket pocket: a disposable camera with its wires pulled outwards. In a video Yuuya watched about homemade weapons for research for his manga, he learned that the wires of a camera carry enough charge to stun someone. It won’t kill Himika …

Yuuya eyes roll up to the staircase. If he stunned her at the top of the stairs, and she fell …

 _Yes,_ he thinks. That will create a result that will keep her away from Reira. His hands shake just holding the weapon, sweat beading down the side of his face. He’s never even _hit_ another person, too scared to cause any harm. But now though, if he doesn’t get rid of Himika, Reira will …

The scars flash in his mind. Reira’s body was once littered with them, and she was locked in a cold storage room to freeze to death. She couldn’t escape; she was beaten and scratched, physically and psychologically abused by her mother, and later killed by a serial kidnapper. Yuuya has already failed to save her once – he won’t let it happen again.

Hand tightening on the stun gun, Yuuya presses his ear to the stairs. He can hear the tap-tap of feet in tandem to the beating of his heart. The feet are like a heart in a way. He can hear Himika’s final heartbeat. Holding his breath, Yuuya peeks over the stairs to spot her. She’s facing away from him, climbing the staircase to cross to the other side. Her red hair is tied up in two swirls. She blends into the night in a long, dark trenchcoat, a night terror in her own right.

 _Akaba’s mom,_ Yuuya thinks. _No, not her mom. A mom would never hurt her child._

Yuuya climbs up the stairs after her, head bowed. With each step, his racing heart grows louder in his ears. He can hear his breath, great gasps, and he expects Himika to turn away and catch him coming at her with the disposable camera. However, she doesn’t turn around. She crosses the other side.

Yuuya’s pace quickens.

She descends the stairs, one step –

Coming around the corner, Yuuya’s hand jolts forward to press the stun gun into her back –

Himika takes another step down, and another.

Panicked, Yuuya pulls himself back around the corner and falls to his knees. The hand holding the camera shakes so much that he drops the weapon onto the ground, where he then stares at it. _Why? Why didn’t it work? What did he mess up on? Could it not go through the thickness of her jacket? No, the voltage was supposed to be stronger than that._ Stretching his hand back out, Yuuya scoops up the weapon and yanks open the back of it. The wires are still out and exposed, but around the battery is a filming of plastic, perhaps meant to protect the batteries should they leak.

 _What the hell?_ Yuuya thinks, thumbing the plastic cover. _That’s why …_

He swallows his heart, the pounding sinking to a dull roar.

He hears the footsteps though, a steady sound of one-two that plays a painful note in Yuuya’s ears.

He failed. He didn’t stop Himika, and now she’ll return home and hurt Reira. With any luck, Reira will still be at his house playing card games with Yuugo, Yuuri, and Yuuto. With any luck, Yuuya might have a chance to help her. However …

He buries his face into his knees, muffling a sob. He failed at the most important task. Now he has no chance of making sure Reira stays away from Himika; so long as Reira lives in that house, she will be subject to abuse that could lead to her death. Yuuya can’t forgive himself for this mistake. The one person he needs to protect – the first victim of the serial kidnapping case – is still in danger. If Reira goes home tonight, she’ll die –

Yuuya throws his head up in shock. _I need to get home! I –_

“Calm down, Yuuya.” Standing over him, Yuuto has his hands in his pockets and his gaze looking down the stairs. He chews on his lip, eyes heavy. “What if that woman trips and falls to her death?”

Yuuya swallows. “Yuuto, what are you doing here?”

Yuuto acts like he doesn’t hear him. He looks back at Yuuya, and comes to stand just inches in front. “However,” he says, drawing out the word, “wouldn’t it be even worse if that woman stayed without any _scars,_ and you _disappeared_ because of your mistake? Doesn’t that sound like a worse fate?”

Scrubbing at his face, Yuuya can’t answer. His throat feels sticky and his cheeks feel hot. Yuuto crouches down before him and pulls out a handkerchief that he passes to Yuuya to clean himself off. Once Yuuya’s eyes and nose are dry, he shoves it in his pocket and sniffs.

“Wouldn’t that be worse?” Yuuto repeats.

“I … guess,” Yuuya answers, voice choked. He scrubs at his eyes once more, and then reaches up to tug down his goggles. Right now, he needs to hide before Yuuto sees how emotional he can get.

A hand falls on his; Yuuto, reaching out to touch his fingers. His eyes soften, purple irises catching in the starlight. “Hey, I asked you to let me help you. So talk to me.” Carefully, Yuuto takes his hand in his own and sets it back down on Yuuya’s lap. “You're not alone anymore, Yuuya.”

A rough sob catches in Yuuya’s throat. This time he doesn’t pull his goggles down, but instead buries his face between his knees to muffle his cries. Yuuto doesn’t pull him back up; instead, he remains squatting before Yuuya, never breaking his attention away. Yuuya’s sobs grow into pained cries. His eyes burn with tears that he can’t cease; his nose runs down his lip. He can’t be bothered to clean himself up, not when his soul feels like it’s breaking apart.

Through all of it, Yuuto remains before him. He doesn’t stop Yuuya, and he waits until Yuuya lifts his head with a bleary sniff, rubbing at his eyes with his fists. Once more, Yuuto yanks the handkerchief out of Yuuya’s own pocket and brings it to his cheeks. “Clean yourself up, Yuuya,” he whispers.

“OK.” Even that single word breaks in Yuuya’s dry throat. He coughs to clear it, and then wipes down his face.

Only when he’s no longer sobbing does Yuuto come to sit next to him, back to the wall, legs pulled up to his chest. The two of them sit in the dimly lit overpass, a place where Yuuya will forever remember as where he tried to kill Akaba Himika. The walls feel they could swallow him up; the stairs to the side could give way under his feet and Yuuya could fall to his death.

Shivering, Yuuya tucks his head in between his knees.

“Yuuya,” Yuuto says to get his attention. “Listen – I’ve been following you for some time now. You haven’t noticed me, have you?”

Apparently Yuuya doesn’t need to say anything, for his facial expression must be a good enough answer. Yuuto chuckles and continues: “As I thought. You’ve been so wrapped up in keeping track of Akaba that you haven’t paid attention to anyone else. You kept spacing out in class – not even staring at Akaba, but just staring off into the distance. You’ve had a lot on your mind these past few days.

“When I noticed how oblivious you were being to everyone but Akaba, I knew something was up – something I should be worried about. You were _desperate_ to save Akaba, weren’t you? Like just now.”

Folding his hands in his lap, Yuuto says, “I thought it would be dangerous to let you think you needed to be the only one to save Akaba all on your own because then you’d probably do something desperate like that. That’s why I made my own plan: if you tried to hurt someone, I would stop you.”

Yuuya’s hands tighten in fists. Yuuto saw him put the stun gun to Himika’s back. _Did he also see …?_

“I won’t let you hurt anyone or yourself, Yuuya. There must be another way to save Akaba.” With a heavy sigh, Yuuto rises to his feet, and then bends down to give Yuuya a hand up. “I want to help you, Yuuya, so please let me. Let me do whatever I can to help you, so that something like this doesn’t happen again.”

That feeling – that warm, bubbly feeling – starts in Yuuya’s gut. He presses a hand to his stomach, and then glances towards Yuuto. “Thanks, Yuuto. I … really appreciate it. I just …” He pauses, and then begins heading back down the stairs. The more Yuuya sees in the dim overpass, the more he thinks about what murder he nearly committed. He hurries down the steps, breath coming in ragged pants. “Yuuto, I think Reira is in danger tonight.”

“How come?” Yuuto asks, following after him. The snow falls on his hair and catches in his long, pointed bangs.

“Because it’s Wednesday,” Yuuya says. “On Thursdays, Reira comes with bruises on her neck – not ones on her face where she has to stay home, but still with new bruises. I’m worried she’ll get hurt tonight, and I want to protect her.”

Yuuto’s eyes narrow. “Did you try calling the police or child protection services? Are they aware she’s being abused at home?”

“Mr. Heartland did.” Yuuya swallows. “But Akaba Himika is sly and she got away with it once. Mr. Heartland told me that one time they came for an interview, but Akaba-san hid the evidence so the CPS workers couldn’t press charges. That’s why I tried to protect Akaba tonight, by …” He can’t say the words.

Humming under his breath, Yuuto then says, “Speaking of the police …” He pauses. “You did something that broke the law before you came here, did you know that?”

Yuuya swallows. _Yuuto saw me break the window at the Tsukumo household and slash the tires of the delivery vehicles._ “About that …”

Yuuto’s voice is even: “What was that about?”

Wringing his hands together, Yuuya answers, “Well, I wanted to draw –”

His voice is drowned out by the sound of sirens. Three white and blue police cars coming tearing down the road, lights flickering over every window on the buildings. The sirens are loud, and both Yuuya and Yuuto cover their ears. In the dead of the night, the sound is deafening. Only when the police cars are several streets down can either one of them remove their hands from over their ears and talk to one another.

“I wanted to draw the police there for another reason,” Yuuya finishes.

“You want to get the police involved?” Yuuto says.

“Yes.” Swallowing, Yuuya’s eyes follow back to the police car. In a way, getting the police involved helps keep Yuuma safe. But Reira … Yuuya can’t let Reira return home. He can’t leave her alone any longer, not if she wants to live for another day. And then from that day on, Yuuya will need to protect Reira more than ever. He won’t be able to think ahead. It’ll be a new day, a new timeline.

“Yuuto, please give me a hand with this.” His hands clench in tight fists, eyebrows drawing to a point over his red eyes. “I’m going to kidnap Akaba tonight.”


	21. Chapter 21

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(art commissioned by the wonderful [dark-angel-of-muses](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com/) and posted with permission - please considering supporting her work through [commissions](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com/post/168478129610/dark-angel-of-muses-dark-angel-of-muses)!) _  
_

* * *

_I_ _’ll kidnap Akaba._ Yuuya takes a deep breath and repeats the words once more. _I’ll kidnap Akaba._ It’s the only choice Yuuya can make that will save Reira right now; if he hesitates any longer, if Reira returns home, she will die.

Looking over his shoulder, Yuuya spots Yuuto shuffling his feet in the fluffy snow. He hasn’t said a word, lips pursed tight. Knowing Yuuto, he’s thinking long and hard about what Yuuya has just said. Yuuto won’t throw the idea out the window because it’s illegal, but he won’t believe Yuuya solely on the basis of them being friends.

“To stop her mother’s abuse, we have to get the police to act,” Yuuya explains. “And if that means kidnapping Reira so they start looking for her, I’ll do it.” _I’ll kidnap her myself before the actual kidnapper has a chance._

Again, Yuuto doesn’t say a word. He rolls his shoulders back and then begins walking back down the street towards Yuuya’s house. After a moment, he speaks up: “Yuuya, are you intending to create chaos in Heartland City?”

“Maybe,” Yuuya says with a shrug. He eases the aches out of his muscles and follows Yuuto down the road. “I just need to get Akaba away from that house for tonight, and maybe even longer. This is the best option I can think of.”

“Sounds like the only option.” A light scoff, a sound picked up and carried away by the wind. “How much have you thought this through, Yuuya?”

Honestly, Yuuya answers, “I just got the idea right now.” When Yuuto doesn’t blurt out that he hasn’t thought enough, Yuuya says, “But I’ll worry about the outcome later. It doesn’t matter what happens right now, so long as I can protect Reira. We need to get home before he leaves, and then we’ll take him away. On the walk back, we should think about a place to hide her.” Looking back over his shoulder, Yuuya says, “You’re with me, right?”

Yuuto’s teeth sink into his lip. He’s still debating.

“I don’t have time to think this through, Yuuto, and that sounds rash of me. But if I think for too long, something could happen to Akaba. I don’t care what happens to me, even if the police get involved. I don’t care if this case doesn’t work all the way through. Right now, I just need something to get Akaba through the night. I want him to live through his birthday.”

Squaring his shoulders, Yuuya says, “No matter what happens tonight, it will be better than Akaba’s death.”

Yuuto chuckles, head tilted up to the snowy sky. “Honestly, it’s not a bad idea to hide him. You want to keep Akaba safe, and that’s the best way to go about it. But don’t sell your plan short so quickly – I don’t want you thinking about jail time right now.” Leaning into Yuuya, he jokes, “Your mom would be sad if you were caught by the police.”

Yuuya shakes his head, a smile on his lips. “No she wouldn’t. My mama would think, ‘Way to go, Yuuya!’ and she’d support my decision through and through.”

Yuuto’s eyebrows crease together, and then he bursts into a laugh that seems to come from his core. He bends at the waist giggling over the comment. “You’re right,” he says at last, still leaning over, “she would be proud of you for taking care of your friend, even if that meant disobeying the law. I guess … some of the things you did tonight would make her proud. I’m glad then that I stopped you from doing the one she might not like to hear.”

He’s right, and Yuuya knows it. Stiffly, he tugs his jacket tighter over his body and heads back through the snow. It’s gotten much darker, with the moon giving them the best view of the snowy path back to the house. Walking next to Yuuto, the night doesn’t feel so lonely. In the last rerun, Yuuya was still at his house with his friend. Reira would leave soon, and he’d walk her home with a smile. He’d leave her at her house and say goodbye to her for the last time.

_She promised me a present. I’ll make sure she keeps her promise._

Something cold lands right in his face. Chuckling, Yuuto tosses a second snowball back and forth in his palm, as if judging how hard it’ll collide with Yuuya’s face.

Yuuya brushes the snow from his cheeks and neck, shivering as some of it slips down his jacket and shirt. “That – that –” He can’t form the words, but on instinct his hands shovel the sticky snow together which he packs down into a firm ball. Before Yuuto can throw his second one – or maybe his cheeky friend is just giving him a head start – Yuuya chucks the ball at Yuuto’s face. Soon after, he breaks out in a run towards his house.

A snowball hits him square in the back. Yuuya’s feet skid on the slippery snow and he buckles forward. However, instead of slam-dunking snow down the back of his jacket like Yuugo surely would have, Yuuto comes round to give him a hand up.

“Let’s go save Akaba,” he says, “even if that means kidnapping him.”

Yuuya takes the hand with a warm smile.

Yuuto walks next to him, shoulder to shoulder. The night is alive with all the stars glittering down on them. When Yuuya spots his house, the moon shining on it like a beacon, his face splits into an even wider grin. All the lights are still on, and by the noise coming from inside he’s certain that everyone is still in there playing card games.

Throwing open the door, Yuuya pokes his head in.

_One, two, three,_ he counts. _My friends are still there._

Yuugo, Yuuri, and Reira are still at the table, crouched around a deck of playing cards. Each of them holds a hand of cards close to their chests to avoid the other players seeing what they have; however, when Yuuya pokes his head in Reira drops his cards to the table.

“You’re back,” Yuuri comments, flicking his cards back and forth. “Took you long ago. What’d you do, rob a bank in the meantime?”

_Not that kind of illegal behaviour,_ Yuuya thinks with a smile. “Sorry,” he apologises. “I went into town, and from there …” He rubs his head. “The streets look so much different at nighttime. Thanks to Yuuto though, I found my way back. Reira” – he turns to him, cards still on the table – “are you ready to go home? I’ll walk you back.”

“Sure,” Reira says, and she slips off the chair.

Stretching his arms over his head, Yuuto says, “Actually, I really need to get home and help my dad with something. Yuugo and Yuuri, would you mind helping Yuuya clean up –”

“You’re ditching us?” Yuugo says, mouth hanging open. “The nerve you have, Yuuto.”

“Stop being melodramatic, Yuugou,” Yuuri mutters. “What, you’ve never worked a day in your life?”

Yuugo turns to Yuuri and shoves his pink face into Yuuri’s personal space. “Have _you?”_

Pushing against Yuugo’s face with his palm, Yuuri snarls, “Have you, Yuugou?”

“It’s Yuugo, damn it!”

At the door, Yuuya chuckles behind his palm. “Thanks for volunteering, Yuugo and Yuuri. I should be back in a bit to help you clean up, if you haven’t already left yet. I promise, leave something for me if you have to.”

Next to him, Reira pulls on his boots and does up his scarf. He holds the gloves in his palms, as if he’s unsure whether he can wear them out of the house. Giggling, Yuuya helps Reira pull the gloves onto his hands, tucking the ends into the sleeves of the peacoat. Reira doesn’t say a word, but the silence speaks volumes. When they’re ready to go, it’s Reira who takes his hand and leads him out into the brightest night Yuuya’s seen. Every star sparkles for Reira, lighting up his lavender hair.

Yuuto has already left – snuck out the door while Yuugo and Yuuri were arguing, and while Yuuya and Reira were watching the live amusement. The night is so peaceful that Yuuya can hear his heartbeat – a steady rhythm – and feel Reira’s hot breath against his cheeks. They’re close, arms brushing against one another.

_What was this walk like last time? When I said goodbye to Akaba, I thought I’d see him again. I thought everything would be better because we saw our birthdays together._

Yuuya raises a hand to his neck. Last time he was so anxious to get Reira home and through March 2 that he forgot his jacket, and Reira lent him his scarf so he wouldn’t freeze to death. This time, Yuuya remembered his jacket from being outdoors and creating an alibi for Yuuma. Reira hasn’t given him his scarf; it’s still wrapped around his pale neck, pulled up so that all Yuuya can see are Reira’s glowing eyes and small, pink nose.

_This time, I’m changing fate once more._

_Akaba, you won’t die._

At the end of the road, Yuuya stops. He plants himself at the three-way intersection, looking left towards the school and right towards Reira’s house. Reira can’t return to her house.

“Akaba,” Yuuya says, voice low. “I’m going to kidnap you now.” A pause. “Is that OK with you?”

Reira’s widen widen, then narrow. “Are you stupid?” he finally says.

“Yep,” Yuuya replies. “That’s why it was the only thing I could think of to keep you safe. Will you come with me?”

The words are said. Yuuya holds his breath, feels Reira’s pulse through their intertwined hands. Long ago, before they became good friends and hung out at the children’s centre and shared their birthday today, Reira lied to him about the abuse. She did it to protect her mom, Yuuya realises. However, now Reira has a chance to escape. She can run away from this all, but … Does she trust him? Would she disobey Himika?

_Who will you listen to: Akaba Himika, or me?_

Reira squeezes his fingers. “I hoped someday you would say that.”

Yuuya’s heart soars in his chest, and he pulls Reira forward down the starlit path. It’s a way they’ve never walked before, one that leads them to the Eastern side of the city. Yuuya doesn’t travel here often because it’s too far and there isn’t enough to warrant a trip; however, this area of town has several suburbs nestled around a large elementary school: Neo Domino Elementary. How such a school isn’t located in City is a mystery to Yuuya, but the Synchro school sits just outside of the Maiami core.

It’s here where Yuuya takes Reira. They travel through the wide arches of the school’s main gate, and then cut across the field towards the back of the school. Reira doesn’t say a word as they trod through the deep snow.

At the back of the elementary school, further than where students are supposed to go to, there are several buses parked in the deep snow. From months of heavy snowfalls, the buses are permanently parked. However, they are still in prime condition: no chipping paint or massive holes along the metal bodies. In big letters along the bus it reads ‘NEO DOMINO ELEMENTARY.’

Yuuya taps the bus with a fist. “These are the buses the ice hockey club uses … or well, they used to until they got new ones. I actually don’t know what these buses are doing here …”

Another tap on the frame of the bus, this sound coming from further down. Yuuto waves at them, and then answers their question: “The club got a new bus this school year, so they’ve been using the old one for storage. Honestly, they could put their junk anywhere in the school, but it costs too much to tear the bus down. So they parked it here until who knows when.”

Reira looks from him to Yuuto. “Your friend …”

Yuuto smiles. “You can trust me too, Akaba. I’m helping Yuuya here kidnap you.” To Yuuya, he says, “There’s the path you came through and a path leading into the school grounds. It’s pretty secluded here though, so I don’t think anyone should bother you. Hell, it’s not like anyone will be coming onto this bus unless they’re dropping off old junk to store, and I doubt that’ll happen.”

Yuuya eyes the bus. “Can we … go in?”

“You expect Akaba to hide out in the cold?” he jokes. “Come on in, we’ll get the heater turned on and make the place cosy.”

Yuuya and Reira follow Yuuto round the side of the bus and up the metal steps. When Yuuto pulls the door open, Yuuya peers his head inside. What he expected was a bus with seats all around, like a school bus or a train car. However, most of the seats have been ripped out of their steel frames, and in fact the frames themselves are gone. By doing this, the entire bus floor is open to be stacked with dozens of cardboard boxes, most of which have scribbles of ‘supplies’ or ‘paperwork’ written on them.

Other than the boxes, there are stains everywhere. The windows are boarded up with cardboard, and in places taped where there might have been a small crack. Dust litters the floor; it’ll need a good sweeping.

As Reira steps into the bus and looks around the cramped space, her eyes grow dim.

Yuuya swallows. Is this really a good place to hide Reira? It’s cold, damp, and dusty – not the best living quarters for anyone.

Reira kneels down by a small, portable heater built into the bus. She fiddles with the switches, and then strikes a match from the packet sitting atop the heater. “Yuuya,” she asks, “can you open the vent for me? Let’s … warm this home up.”

Home. It must be a different concept for Reira, someone whose home was unsafe and abusive.

“S-sure,” Yuuya says. He crawls up onto one of the boxes and stretches to undo the clasp for the overhead vent. Carefully, he tugs it back. The night sky opens up to him, dotted with a thousand small, bright stars. It looks heavenly, if Yuuya is to be honest. He can imagine sleeping under this vent and skylight, peering up at the mesmerising world above him.

While Yuuya and Reira get the heating set up, Yuuto begins pushing boxes aside and dusting off the floor using a folded up, cardboard box. At first, all it does it stir up the dust and make Reira sneeze. However, after a moment the dirt and debris _does_ move, and the room becomes a bit more homely. They hang up a blanket to give Reira privacy, and to keep the heat in the back part of the bus and away from the door. Across the floor they lie down folded-up boxes to hide the dirt. They make Reira’s bed one of the remaining seats, the backmost row, using a blanket and a sweater that Yuuto brought with him.

After an hour, the work looks to be done. Yuuya brushes off his hands and admires his handiwork. It isn’t perfect in any way, shape, or form, but it’s better than nothing, and more importantly it’s safer than Reira returning home.

As for Reira, she tucks herself under the blanket and curls up at the back of the bus. It’s already gotten warmer inside.

“I could almost live here,” Yuuto jokes. “I hope you’ll be comfy here, Akaba.”

“I will,” he says. “Thank you.”

“There’s no bathroom, so –” Yuuya blushes to the tips of his ears. “Just be careful going outside, OK?” Coughing into his fist, he continues: “Anyway, I’ll come back tonight. When you hear three knocks on the door, that’s me. Don’t open the door for anyone who doesn’t knock, OK?”

“Got it.”

Yuuya raises a hand, fingers splayed out. He wishes he could connect it with Reira’s. “I’ll be back soon.”

Reira nods. Her cheeks grow red, and a small smile graces her face. “Thank you for everything, Yuuya and Yuuto-kun.”

“Don’t mention it,” Yuuto says. “You’re welcome, Reira-chan.”

“That’s right – we’ll definitely protect you, Reira.”

Yuuya has but a moment to see the brightest blush on Reira’s scarf that matches the red of her scarf and gloves. The door closes behind them, and they they are back into the night. It shouldn’t be too late, but under the moonlit sky it feels like midnight.

_Thud!_ Yuuto’s fist connects with his back, causing Yuuya to stumble forward. With a smirk on his lips, he singsongs, “You called her Reira.”

“So did you!” Yuuya hisses back.

Tapping his chin, Yuuto says, “Well, maybe I should have called him Aka-chan instead. It would suit him with that red scarf he always weird.”

Straightening back up, Yuuya looks over his shoulder. With the moon shining down on them, Yuuto’s eyes glow as bright as Reira’s did back in the trailer. “Yuuto, thank you. I mean it –”

“And I said don’t mention it,” Yuuto cuts him off. “This isn’t over yet, not until we know for certain that Reira is safe and we’re not in trouble. The last one might be hard to assure, but we need to confirm that Reira will be OK. Only then can we let our guards down.”

Yuuya nods his head; however, worry still gnaws at his gut. “Yuuto, eventually this case will go public. Eventually Reira will be found. When that happens … I want you to pretend to be ignorant. Don’t get involved in all this mess. If one of us goes to jail, I want it to be me, not you. After all, it was my choice right from the start to kidnap him.”

Yuuto shoves his hands deep into his pockets. “A hero doesn’t go down by himself –”

“Please, Yuuto.” Turning around, Yuuya lets the starlight bring out the moisture catching around his eyes. “When we have to reveal the plan, please don’t get dragged down with me. You’re too important.” Yuuya holds out his hand, pinkie finger sticking out. “Promise, OK?”

Yuuto takes one look at the hand and then chuckles. He pulls out his right hand, waving it for Yuuya to see. “I’m wearing mittens, silly, unlike someone whose hands are going to get frostbite. But …” His features sober, eyes losing the light in them. “Fine. I’ll listen to you. I want to help you, and if that means … that, then I will listen.”

“That’s all I can ask for – thanks, Yuuto.”

He receives a pat on the shoulders. “I should head home now before my dad starts worrying. You go home too and catch some sleep too, and say hi to Reira tonight.”

“Got it!” Yuuya’s feet spur into action and he kicks off from a clump of thick, frozen snow. “See you, Yuuto! And thanks again!” Even if he doesn’t look back, Yuuya knows that he’s waving at him.

In the last re-run, Yuuya tried to save Reira all on his own. Last time, Yuuto and his other friends went home, and he walked Reira home for the last time. Now though, it’s past the time he took Reira home. He’ll have but a few hours to sleep before he’ll need to go bring Reira something to eat.

When Yuuya hurries home, he peeks through the door to see if Yuuto and Yuuri are still hanging around. The house is silent though. Yoko sits at the table, legs crossed at the ankles, leaning over a book. Her head rises when he enters, eyebrows meeting in the middle of her forehead. “You’re late,” she comments. “Where in the world did you go?”

“A … detour,” Yuuya says, cheeks reddening. “Sorry, Mama.” He kicks off his shoes and hurries to the table. The sandwich making supplies and decorations are all put away – Yuuri and Yuuto did clean up everything! – and all that remains of the fun night is a plate of covered sandwich halves. Yuuya reaches in to grab another sandwich, and catches Yoko still watching him with a knowing smile. “Mama,” he drawls.

“I haven’t said a word, Yuuya,” she says.

Yuuya bites into a sandwich. “Hey Mama, did, uh, Akaba’s mother call you?” Last time, that happened in the re-run. Was it different this time?

“No, I was just curious what took you so long. Yuugo and Yuuri were complaining that you’d never come back and help them, so I gave them a hand.” She chuckles into her hand. “You’ve got great friends, Yuuya. I hope you had a good birthday.”

Heart swelling, Yuuya answers, “I did, Mama.” His eyes flick up to the clock hanging on the wall: just past eight pm. “Hey Mama, I’m gonna go to bed early tonight. I need to be up early in the morning to, uh, –” His cheeks grow red again, and he doesn’t let himself finish the sentence; he’d be lying once again if he did. “So yeah, I’m going to sleep. You should come to bed early too.”

Yoko rolls her eyes. “Sure.”

Yuuya motions to the sandwiches. “I’ll eat those for breakfast, so you don’t have to wake up with me, OK?”

She nods again. Together, they head into the bedroom and set up the futon. Yuuya yawns as he pulls on his pyjamas and, once the bed is made, he curls deep into the covers. However, Yuuya doesn’t fall asleep just yet. He watches Yoko’s expression grow calmer, her head resting against the pillow, sheets pulled up to her chin. He watches his mother sleep with a fondness in his heart.

When he’s sure she’s fast asleep, Yuuya slips back out of the covers and tiptoes out of the bedroom. Every light is off in the house, so he travels by the slivers of moonlight that slip through the blinds. Because Yoko buys food for a small army, it doesn’t take Yuuya long to find the cup ramen in the cupboard. He brings the stovetop kettle too; it only bangs once against the stove, and the sound echoes through the house.

Yoko doesn’t come out of the bedroom. The house returns to silence.

Yuuya puts the ramen and the kettle in his backpack, which he hikes up onto his back. He slips on his wet runners and tugs on his jacket. There’s a flashlight that Yoko leaves by the doorway should they ever need to go out at night; Yuuya takes that with him. Then, as silent as a ghost, he heads out the door and into the streets.

There isn’t a car or person in sight. The snow sparkles under the visible stars and moon. When Yuuya steps into the crunchy, frozen snow, the sound echoes for miles around. He’s the only person out in the world.

Carefully, Yuuya travels back past his school and across town to where Neo Domino Elementary resides. His heavy backpack drags him down at times; he’s exhausted too, having spent the past few days making sure that everyone stays alive and no one is in trouble. Last time, he slept through his alarm and came to class late. However, that horrible truth he found out will be no more: Reira will not return to class, but she’ll be safe in the bus.

To his relief, the only footsteps leading up to the bus are from when he, Reira, and Yuuto came in: three sets of small footprints. Yuuya steps into his own tracks so as to not create any more, and he heads up to the bus. Like he told Reira, he knocks three times on the door and then enters. “Reira, it’s me,” he whispers to the night.

He pushes back the blanket. Reira sits on the bench at the end of the bus, wrapped up in a blanket. Her eyes are deep in their sockets, bags visible; however, the moment she sees him her face brightens, and she smiles a bit. “Yuuya.”

He shrugs off his backpack and rifles around inside it for the two cup ramens; when he pulls out the kettle, Reira raises an eyebrow.

“You … brought your own kettle?”

“For the hot water,” he says. “It’s even got the water in it so we can eat.”

Yuuya sets the kettle on the heater and turns up the heat. “I don’t know how well this will work, but like, the heater gets hot so it should heat up the water, and …” He trails off, rubbing his head. “Sorry about all of this, Reira.”

He shakes his head. Moving out from under the blankets, Reira comes to stand next to him. “I’ve never had cup ramen with a friend before, or even eaten dinner this late at night. Besides” – Reira holds out his hands to the heater – “I’m freezing.”

Yuuya kneels down next to Reira, holding his hands out to warm them.

Reira raises an eyebrow. “No gloves?”

“Sadly, no.”

She chuckles under her breath.

_Hiss!_ Yuuya’s eyes widen at the sound of the kettle on the heater. It’s hot! With a cheer, he tears open the paper lids of the ramen cups and pours the hot water inside. They balance the chopsticks on top to close the lids and cook the noodles and dried vegetables. Within minutes, Yuuya can smell the rich, salty broth. He passes one cup to Reira.

“Bon appetit.” He takes the other one for himself. Between crouching so close to the heater and holding the cup ramen in his frozen hands, Yuuya feels like he’s thawing from the inside out. A glance to Reira proves that he, too, is warm and cosy. Neither of them move back to the bench; rather, they crouch and eat their ramen together.

Cup ramen at night: this has been Yuuya’s food for years in the future. Every night he’d stay up late working on his manga, ordering take-out or making ramen as a quick meal to help him pull an all-nighter. This time though, he’s sharing his meal with a friend. Across from him, Reira is slurping noodles like she hasn’t eaten all day, and her cheeks are red both from the heat and …

Yuuya’s own cheeks redden.

“This is delicious,” Reira murmurs into her cup. “Ramen late at night …”

“Dinner of champions,” Yuuya jokes. “However, ramen is good to have with friends.” He lowers his cup so that the steam doesn’t go in his eyes and continues: “This summer, I think we’re gonna go camping – Yuuto, Yuugo, Yuuri, and I. I think we’ll go to the forests around Heartland, like where that duel lodge is. When we go camping, we’ll have nights to sit around the fire and eat cup ramen.”

“Sounds nice.”

“Would you come with us, Reira?”

He looks up, mouth hanging open. “Come with …”

“Us,” Yuuya finishes.

Reira’s eyes glance around the bus they’re hidden in. “I wonder if I can come.”

“You can,” Yuuya says with a firm nod. He scoops up more noodles and slurps them loudly. “I’m glad you want to come with us.”

When all that’s left is the salty broth and a few sprigs of green onion, Yuuya sets his cup on the ground and crawls up to sit under the blanket on the bench. After one last slurp of her own noodles, Reira comes to join him, settling under the blanket. It’s barely long enough to wrap around both of their shoulders, but they make do by snuggling up. Reira is a bit shorter than him, and the side of his head rests along Yuuya’s jaw.

“Is this …” Reira leaves the question hanging.

“All good,” Yuuya says. He yawns, his body warm and full, and leans his head against Reira’s. “I have to go back into the snow soon, but I want to get warm first.” Another yawn. “All right?”

Reira shuffles into him; Yuuya feels her hands wrap around his arm, tugging him closer. “Thank you.”

Somehow, Yuuya’s mind blanks out what happens for the next few hours, before when his eyes next flutter open it’s because someone has knocked him on the head with their fist – not hard enough to hurt, but it rouses him. Snuggled under the blanket with Reira, Yuuya bolts upright. His eyes though are hazy: he peers through the fogginess to find Yuuto leaning towards him with a smirk that would put Yuuri’s to shame.

“Rise and shine, Yuuya! Sleep well with Aka-chan?”

“Aka –” The situation dawns on him. With a yelp, Yuuya pushes himself off of Reira; apparently, Reira had just been waking up too, and when the realisation hits her she pushes him away as well. The result is that they both knock each other across the cheeks in their hastiness, scrambling out from under the blankets. Last night, after having been so tired from all that had happened, they had …

Yuuya’s cheeks redden. He slept with Reira under the blanket, hadn’t he? Head to head, shoulder to shoulder – so many points of contact that his mind is dizzy with the thoughts.

“I’m glad I stopped by,” Yuuto tells him, still wearing that devious smirk that quirks up his thin lips. “The kids from Neo Domino should be coming to school any moment now, so you need to get out of here, Yuuya. And Reira, you’ll stay here all day.”

Having sorted himself out – though his heart still races in his chest – Yuuya adds, “I’ll come see you after class and bring you dinner.”

Yuuto shrugs off his backpack and reaches inside the largest pocket. From within he pulls out a plastic bento box, one that he must’ve purchased at the convenience store on his way over. Yuuya spots salad, chicken, and rice, all delicious and nutritious food that outbeats the ramen he brought for Reira last night. “Here,” he says, holding out the dish. “Breakfast for you.” He pulls out a package of Hello Panda cookies. “And a snack that maybe could be a lunch.”

“I’ll bring you something after school,” Yuuya tells her. “I promise.”

Again, Reira’s eyes glimmer. “Thank you, Yuuto and Yuuya.” She takes the offered food and sets them on the bench. “Don’t you have school to get to now?”

Yuuto’s hand on his jacket sleeve pulls him forward. Yuuya nods, heart feeling heavy for leaving Reira in the bus all day. However, it’s the safest place for her at this time. She can’t return to class in case Himika has called her in as missing. No one can know where Reira is.

“I’ll be fine, Yuuya,” she says. “Now go.”

He grabs his backpack, leaving the kettle in the bus. With one more glance back at Reira, Yuuya says, “See you later, Reira!”

Again, the moment Yuuya is out of the bus he feels Yuuto’s fist in the middle of his back. Yuuya whirs around, cheeks already a deep crimson, and growls out, “Yes, I slept next to Reira.” A huff deep within his throat. “Thanks for coming to get me.”

“I wasn't going to comment –”

“Then what was the fist in my back for?”

Yuuto shrugs. “We’re not supposed to act suspicious. Don’t you think your mom will think something is up if you didn’t return home for the night?”

Yuuya hadn’t thought about what his mother would say to this. However, he knows Yoko well. “She probably already knew I was staying at Reira’s, or something like that. She’s a detective, and she’ll make up her own theories.” Chuckling, Yuuya says, “I can’t keep anything from her, so I might as well not try, right?”

Yuuto laughs with him, a clear sound that travels through the streets. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

When they get to class, Yuuya slips inside the room. This time he isn’t surprised to see Reira’s seat empty; she’s not supposed to be here today. Like before, Mr. Heartland calls out the roll after a few minutes, and mumbles to himself, “Reira isn’t here this Monday, I guess.” He looks up from his book, frog-eyes falling on Yuuya.

Yuuya swallows deeply. Heartland wouldn’t suspect him for this, right? Yuuya is Reira’s friend, but he shouldn’t be suspicious. Nonetheless, his hands grow sweaty even after Heartland closes up the roll book and begins the lesson. Yuuya sits pin-straight in his seat and tries to pay attention to the lesson at the front of class. His mind wanders for most of the lesson to thoughts about Reira sitting alone in the bus, huddling around the heater, munching on the bento and snacks Yuuto brought for her. She’ll get bored, Yuuya thinks, and he makes a mental note to bring her some books to read.

_Who knows how long he’ll need to hide in the bus for? Will the investigation start?_

The timeline has drastically changed for Yuuya: he can no longer predict the future. Now is the time for him to start rewriting time and finding the killer. If the serial kidnappings haven’t happened, the killer should still be in the town looking for one of his targets. Yuuya will need to keep track of not only Reira, but the other future victims.

As usual, Yuuya’s mind is elsewhere and he hardly notices that the lesson has ended until everyone is clambering out of their seats to get lunch. A tray of food drops in front of Yuuya: spaghetti and garlic toast, and a carton of milk with a straw. Yuuto has an identical lunch, and they sit across from one another. Within second though Yuugo has squished in next to him, and Yuuri takes the opposite side.

“Were you daydreaming the entire class?” Yuugo asks Yuuya, tapping him on the shoulder when Yuuya’s eyes remain fixated on his milk carton.

“Huh?”

“Exactly.” Leaning closer to his ear, Yuugo then repeats, as loudly as he can, “Were you daydreaming?”

Yuuya leans as far back as he can so that his eardrums don’t burst. “No,” he mutters.

“You didn’t _look_ like you were paying attention.”

“I have something on my mind.” He bows his head and begins shovelling noodles into his mouth. Yuugo and Yuuri’s eyes don’t leave him though; in fact, they grow in size, and Yuuri leans over the table.

“You mean _someone –”_

“Knock it off,” Yuuto says. “It’s not like either of you were paying attention if you were spending so much time staring at Yuuya.” Sighing, he adds, “Why don’t we all eat our –”

“Where’s Akaba?” Yuugo blurts out. He leans his head to the empty desk at the front of the classroom, the one Yuuya had stared at all class. “He didn’t show up all day today, and he came every day last week. Did something happen after the party?”

“Nothing,” Yuuya says, nipping off the ends of his words. “Nothing.”

Yuuri doesn’t miss a beat. “That’s suspicious.”

“It’s _not._ Rei – Akaba doesn’t always come on Mondays, so it’s not that big of a deal. I’m not worried.” He holds his breath afterwards, just in case anyone speaks up. Yuuya doesn’t know if he can trust Yuugo and Yuuri with Reira’s situation. They might blabber to the whole class, and getting anymore people involved puts them in danger. However … Yuuya’s eyes narrow. Yuuri will be a victim too. If Yuuri hung out with Akaba, that would keep two of the three victims safe.

Yuuya’s eyes flicker to Yuuto. As important as it is to keep Reira safe, he also needs to remember that, with Reira out of the picture, the other two victims are still in danger. They can’t leave Yuuri alone either.

Unfortunately, Yuuya can’t bring this up while Yuugo is around. He mulls over the thoughts during lunch, ignoring the many times Yuugo and Yuuri bring up his quietness and attribute it to him pining over Reira. Only when the two of them leave the lunch table to take their seats can Yuuya speak up. He leans in close to Yuuto and whispers in his ear, “We need to bring Yuuri to the bus this afternoon.”

Raising an eyebrow, Yuuto asks, “Why?”

“Because,” Yuuya says. “Just trust me on this. I’ll tell him after class.”

Yuuto doesn’t push him.

They all return to their seats for the final lessons, during which Yuuya plans just how he’ll bring up the kidnappings with Yuuri. He can’t tell him much, but he’ll need to convince Yuuri to come and hang out with him, Yuuto, and Reira today. The last time Yuuya asked a favour of Yuuri, it was to take care of Reira and go to the children’s centre. He’d agreed that time.

_I’ll do that again._

When class ends, Yuuya hops out of his seat and bounds over to Yuuri’s desk. Yuuri gives him a long, slow look, eyes rolling up. “What do you want?” he drawls.

“I’m gonna go to Akaba’s house today –”

“Be my guest –”

“– and I want you to come.”

A beat. Yuuri blinks. “What?”

“Come with me, please.” Yuuya clasps his hands together before him, like he’s praying to any and all gods out there to break through Yuuri’s stubbornness. Talking with Yuuri is like gambling: you never know how high the stakes can go, and you can’t predict the outcome.

With a soft laugh, Yuuri nods. “Whatever, I’ll come with you to find your boyfriend. You must know where he lives, right?”

“I do. Yuuto’s coming with us too.”

Yuuri raises an eyebrow at that. “Yuuto too? What, are you bringing the entire peanut gallery along to have us watch your sappy love confessions? I already got a good enough view of that right from day one.”

Yuuya bites his teeth into his lip to keep from laughing. “Not everyone,” he says. Then, dropping his voice lower, he says, “I can’t invite Yuugo to this. No offense to him, but he’s a little too forward with Akaba. I just need you and Yuuto there for … you know what, I’ll tell you when we get there. Don’t worry, it’s nothing major.” He finishes it with a smile.

Miraculously, not a second later Yuuri shrugs. “Suit yourself. It’s not like I have anything better to do today.”

“I really appreciate it, Yuuri.”

“Save it.”

To make sure that Yuugo doesn’t feel like he’s being left out, Yuuto loiters around the classroom gathering his belongings while Yuuya and Yuuri head to the locker bay with the floods of students. They gather their outside gear and then wait outside of the gate for Yuuto to catch up to them. Only when they are all together, away from the school entrance, does Yuuya speak up.

“Yuuri, I need your help.”

“I’m not giving you relationship advice, Yuuya.”

Yuuya’s cheeks darken at once, turning the same cherry-red colour as his hair. “Where did you get that idea from? No, it’s something else. It’s …” Yuuya’s mouth goes dry. Everything that he’s thought about during class has left his brain. What can he say to Yuuri that _won’t_ make him sound crazy, even though Yuuri already thinks he’s a bit delusional. What can Yuuya say that will make sense?

“Akaba was in danger, and I kidnapped him.” _Might as well tell the honest truth,_ thinks Yuuya. He squeezes his eyes closed, and then opens them. To his surprise, Yuuri isn’t staring at him like he’s grown a second head. He’s quite calm, cool, and collected, and there’s neither a frown nor a shit-eating grin on his lips. “Akaba was in danger, and so I hid him in an abandoned bus at Neo Domino. That’s why we’re not walking towards my house.”

“I knew that,” Yuuri mutters. “I know where you’re damn house is because I went to your party just a few days ago.”

Again, Yuuya’s cheeks darken and he buries himself deeper into his jacket. “So you knew something was up?”

“‘Course I did,” Yuuri says. “You were acting weird all class, staring at Reira’s desk. You walk with him every morning, just hung out with him over the weekend, and now Reira doesn’t show up at class. That’s suspicious.”

“Sorry,” is all Yuuya can think to say. “I didn’t want to keep secrets from anyone, but I also don’t want to get anyone involved.” He shoves his hands deeper into his pockets, eyes wandering up to the frosty buildings. They’re heading into Neo Domino now, stepping down icy streets lined with identical, two-floor houses.

Yuuto coughs into his first before he speaks up. “You know, you can trust us, Yuuya. We’re here to help you.”

“I know.” Not a minute later, Yuuya whispers, “Please don’t tell Yuugo.”

“Yuugo is the biggest blabbermouth in the school – only a complete moron would trust him with anything secretive.” Yuuri laughs at his own words. “Stop trying to carry the world on your shoulders though. Yeah, you committed some crime and did some wrong, but maybe it was for the best. During break time when I went to the bathroom, I heard Mr. Heartland talking in the hallway to CPS. They’re going to Akaba’s house.”

It’s another hint, Yuuya realises. In the past, CPS only got involved in the first rerun when Reira went missing. They never found anything though because the kidnappings continued and her name was taken off the list once it was confirmed that Reira’s death was part of a case of serial kidnappings. However, the killer hasn’t struck yet; therefore, CPS is active in finding Reira.

“Yuuto,” Yuuya says, turning to his friend, “CPS needs to go to Akaba’s house. Even if she’s not there, the workers will still know what happened. Let’s keep Akaba’s mom as the prime suspect.”

“Got it.”

Yuuya hops off the path and into the deep snow. He peers beyond the field to where there a single set of footprints leading out to to the abandoned bus. In this snowy weather it’s hard to see past the sidewalk; it masks the faint rise of smoke coming from the bus. Beyond that, the elementary school is a blur. Yuuya can’t hear any children out playing on the field, and he doesn't have to worry about running into anyone suspicious as he, Yuuto, and Yuuri head single-file through the footprints and up to the bus.

On the outside, it looks like no one is living in it. The windows are covered and the smoke is hazy; the single track of footprints makes it seem like only one person has come to put supplies away. Yuuya heads around the side of the bus. He knocks three times on the door, and then calls out, “Reira, it’s Yuuya! I’m coming in.”

When he opens the door, Reira’s head is peeking around the sheet that keeps the heat in the back of the bus. His cheeks are warm and rosy, and his hair is mussed to one side like he’s been sleeping. “Welcome back, Yuuya,” he says. He leans closer to peer through the door, where Yuuto and Yuuri come traipsing in brushing snow off of their jackets and hats. “Hi there, Yuuto and … Tenjouin.”

“Call me Yuuri if you’re calling everyone else by their first name,” he mutters, kicking off his boots and jacket.

Reira nods, and then chuckles into his hand. “OK, Yuuri.”

“Sounds better.”

Once their winter clothing is off, the three boys shuffle around the sheet and settle down in the little living space at the back of the bus. Reira has kept the heater on, and the room – if it can be called that – is cosy. They settle down on blankets Reira sets out for them, all four of them snuggling close together.

When they’re all seated, Reira asks them how class was, and if there was anything suspicious going on in class today.

“CPS is going to your house,” Yuuri murmurs.

Reira nods. “That makes sense. They’ll want to interrogate my mother and ask her about me. They came once before, but they …” Her teeth sink into her lip. “Anyway, it’s not a big deal if they show up. I won’t be home, right?”

The words have a dull, longing note to them. Yuuya himself doesn’t know how long Reira will need to stay in hiding before she’s safe to return … where? If Heartland’s call to CPS leads to Himika being arrested for child abuse and neglect, Reira will have nowhere to go. At one point, Heartland told him that Reira would have to move away to another dimension. Yuuya has never told Reira that before, though he suspects that she might know.

“I’m sorry to keep you here,” Yuuya says. It’s all he can say.

Reira leans her head to the side. “I’m having fun though.”

“Huh?” Yuuri says.

Reira nods, shuffling forward to sit next to them. “This is just like camping, isn’t it? We’re all sitting together under blankets, warm by the heater, talking together … I’ve never done this before.” Raising a hand to her mouth, her next words come out muffled: “I’m having … fun.”

Yuuri snorts. “You call this fun?”

Even Yuuya can’t imagine how staying in an abandoned bus all day can be fun. Surely Reira must be bored – or worse, scared. Yuuya has kidnapped her, implying that she might be in danger. Then again, to Yuuya the safest place for him is his own home. It’s not the same for Reira. She must feel like there aren’t many places to go, and that this bus, no matter how small and cramped it might be, is a safe haven for her and her friends.

“I’m glad I had hope in you, and that I took the courage to trust you.”

_Hope’s words,_ Yuuya thinks.

“I think we should go to Reira’s house tomorrow,” Yuuto says, “just to check and see what’s going on. The police could be there, or we could just see if her mom is there.”

“The lights aren’t normally on,” Yuuya says, “but” – he raises a finger before anyone can interject – “it’s not a bad idea to check up on the place. If CPS comes, we can always see what they’re investigating and if they have any clues. Reira, you can’t return home yet. You need to stay here.”

“I’ll come too,” Yuuri says. “My folks leave early in the morning and don’t come home until late at night. Once again, I have nothing better to do.” With a frown, he kicks at the blankets around his heels. However, his words pique Yuuya’s interests. He hasn’t done much research into the other two victims; what he knows about Yuuri he knows from simply being his classroom friend. This is news to Yuuya.

_Yuuri’s alone quite a bit, just like Reira …_

“You can come here … in the mornings.” Reira’s voice is soft, hushed in the quiet of the bus. “If you’re bored, come here.”

“Whatever.” Yuuri rolls his eyes over to Yuuya and then mutters, “So how are you going to solve this mess anyways? Eventually the police will be looking for Reira, and they’ll find you.”

“We’re still thinking of that,” Yuuto begins, but Yuuya interrupts him.

“I’ll take full responsibility for it.” The attention falls on him, all of his friends’ mouths hanging like broken traps. They look shocked, as if they somehow couldn’t manage him taking the full blame for something he suggested. This was his plan right from the start. This is his last chance to rerun and save everyone, to change the future to one where no one goes missing. “When the police comes, I’ll tell them everything they need to know, even if it gets me in trouble.”

His words leave them speechless. Outside, the wind creaks against the windows of the old bus, and the temperature appears to have dropped several degrees. Yuuya tucks his hands under his armpits and waits for someone to break the silence.

“Are you stupid?” It’s Reira.

“No,” Yuuya says, “I –”

“I’ll tell them that this was my idea, and then say that we all agreed to work on this together –”

“But –”

Reira’s cold eyes stop the words pouring out of his mouth. “If I say something, none of us will be responsible. You helped me run away from her. You saved me. To the police, to the authorities, we’ll all have made the right choice … correct?” She smiles. “Don’t throw yourselves away to save me.”

Now it’s Yuuya’s turn to have his mouth hang open because … she’s right. Reira’s plan makes the most sense and keeps everyone safe. How he didn’t think of that is absurd.

A fist lands into the small of his back, and Yuuto whispers into his ear, “Did that plan never occur to you?”

Yuuya shakes his head.

“We’re heroes for each other then, and heroes depend on one another. I guess when we put our minds together, our plans are the best.”


	22. Chapter 22

Reira rests his head on the metal bench of the bus. He’s padded it with blankets and pillows, all the supplies Yuuto brought over for him when they first came to the bus. During the day, Reira set up the bus so it was a little more homely. The sheet hangs and insulates the bus. The pillows and blankets are scattered like little chairs along the floor, and the rest remin up with him on the bed. To the side is the heater, upon which the tea kettle sits.

It hasn’t been cold since Reira came here. This hideout is, in a way, better that Reira’s home: it’s warm, it’s safe, it’s … Reira smiles. His friends have come to see him in the morning and evenings, only leaving when the sun has dipped so far beneath the horizon that they’ll need to use flashlights to get home. The first night, Yuuya spent it with him; they slept together on the bench, heads leaning on each other’s shoulders.

Today though, Reira has to sleep alone. Yuuya told her that he needed to head home before his mom got too suspicious.

That’s OK, Reira had told him. 

“I’ll bring you breakfast.” 

Reira buries her face into the pillow to hide her smile. Yuuya has taken care of her for a while now. If she thinks back to that first time he came to find her, when they met out front of the school and she jokingly asked him to kill her mother, Reira can say that Yuuya has grown to become her deepest friend. She’s never thought of someone as a friend. Yuuya is almost more than her friend though – he takes care of her, protects her, makes her smile.

She takes a deep breath and lets it mist in the air above her. Tomorrow, she’ll see him in the morning –

_ Crash! _

Reira’s head jolts up off the pillow. Quickly though, she tucks the blanket back over her head and flattens herself down on the bed. That would be the door. However …

Reira swallows. Yuuya knocks when he comes in – three solid knocks on the door before he even opens it. The door is open though, not a single knock. No, what Reira hears now is the sound of heavy boots clanking up the steps into the front of the bus. 

There’s someone inside the bus.

At this hour, Reira has shut off the lights and turned down the heater. If the stranger pulls back the curtain, he’ll need a light to see her lumped form in the back of the bus, curled under the blanket. Reira is even too scared to pull down the blankets and see who’s there. If she has any chance of surviving, she needs to remain quiet and still, and hope that the stranger doesn't check under the blanket.

This has happened before though. When her mother’s drunk boyfriend used to come visit, from time to time he’d burst into her room. She didn’t look at him back then: she lied still on the bed and didn’t resist if he slapped her ass or pinched her cheek. She didn’t move even if he saw her. 

Like those times, Reira doesn’t do more than breathe. Her breath comes in soft pants under the blanket. She strains her ears to hear the boots, but for a moment the bus is silent. There is a soft whistle of breeze from the open door, but for a second Reira can’t tell if anyone is still there. Then there’s a  _ thunk! _ that reverberates through the metal bus; goosebumps jump onto her pale skin, and she squeezes her eyes shut. That sound … it was far away, right? It didn’t sound like anything was close to her. And she hasn’t heard the curtain slide back, so does that mean the stranger is still in the front of the bus?

Yuuya, his mind thinks. Yuuya isn’t here tonight. Perhaps it’s a good thing Yuuya is safe in his house, but it doesn’t help the sick feeling roiling in Reira’s stomach. He feels ready to vomit at any moment; his hands are clammy and twisted in the sheets.

_ Clunk! _ It’s a different sound this time, one that sets Reira’s teeth on edge. He squeezes his eyes as tight as he can, straining his ears. Surely the stranger can’t hear the thunderous beat of Reira’s heart, right?

Right.

A moment later, the door slams closed. Reira knows that sound well. He doesn’t climb out from under the sheets though, too scared to make even a peep until he’s certain the stranger is far away from the bus. What if they simply closed the door? What if they’re waiting just beyond the curtain for Reira to drop his guard and climb out from under the blanket? What if this is a trap?

Reira doesn’t dare move until what feels like hours later, when his eyes are sore from lack of sleep, and when his nerves have dropped enough for him to creep out from his hiding place. His toes touch down on the ground – first one foot, then the other – and he tiptoes across the floor to the curtain. When his hands ghost over the fabric, Reira still himself. The only sounds in the bus are that of his ragged breathing. If the stranger is still in the bus, he would’ve heard that noise.

She pulls back the curtain.

Nothing.

The door is closed and the front of the bus is as dark as the back. Because it’s still late at night, Reira can’t see anything that’s happened. What made all those noises?

She tugs back the sheet and returns to her bed. Whatever came into the bus, it couldn’t have been someone she wanted to see. It couldn’t have been her mother or that man either. It’s unlikely that, at this late hour, someone from Neo Domino school came to the bus; Yuuto told her this bus, while storage for the Ice Hockey team, hadn’t been used in months. 

_ Who came then …? _ she dares to wonder. 

With a heavy sigh, she settles back down under the covers. Her mind is too wild to sleep, so she lies facing the curtain, eyes squinting in the dark. Even when her heart stops racing, her mind never rests. Whoever came into the bus couldn’t have been friendly. Whoever came in the bus didn’t know she was there.

She’ll tell this to Yuuya in the morning.

* * *

“Mama?” Yuuya rubs his eyes. There’s a light on in the kitchen that is usually turned off, or at least dimmed, at this god-awful hour of the morning. He’s tired from staying out late with Reira, and getting up this early drains away his remaining energy. Nonetheless, he crawls to the edge of the futon just to see what’s up with Yoko who, he finds by patting the futon next to him, is already up and started her morning.

“Mama?” Yuuya repeats. “What” – he opens his mouth to yawn loudly – “are you doing?”

Yoko looks over her shoulder, but instead of smiling she’s got her lips pursed tight. “Don’t what me – you can clearly tell what I’m doing,” she chastises. “Say good morning.”

After a second, Yuuya realises that she’s joking. “Good morning, Mama.” Another yawn; this one he covers with his wrist. “You’re up so early today …”

Again, she looks over her shoulder. “Well so are you – you’ve been heading out long before the sun’s come up.” She turns away from the stove, holding a wooden spoon out in front of her. “And last night you didn’t even bother to come home and you stayed at Reira’s, so I didn’t have a chance to make you breakfast. Thus, I’m taking the chance while it’s here.”

Slowly, Yuuya slinks out from the covers. He winces when his bare feet touch the cold, hardwood floor. “Did I even tell you I stayed at Reira’s?” he murmurs as he drags himself to the breakfast table, eyes still heavy with sleep. The lights are too bright in the house. The clink and clang of kitchenware echoes in his brain. 

Yoko sets down plates of eggs and rice, and bowls of miso soup and white rice. “Well,” she drawls, “if you’re on first-name basis with her then I’m assuming you two are pretty close, and I can’t imagine you staying the night at anyone else’s house, or on the street.”

“I wasn’t sleeping on the street,” Yuuya says, to which Yoko chuckles behind her hand.

“So you  _ did  _ sleep at Reira’s –”

“Yes.” He chews at his food, and washes it down with a swig of milk. 

Yoko nods slowly at him. She has a cup of hot coffee in front of her; she nurses it with both hands wrapped tight around the pink ceramic design, fingers red from the heat. After a moment she speaks up in her usual, flippant, conversational tone that alerts Yuuya that she’ll be asking some rather personal information as she gathers evidence to support her theories.

“Yuuya, can I ask you something outright?”

_ Play it cool,  _ his mind tells him. Yuuya shrugs. “Sure.”

“What are you doing out late at night?” Her words carry deep implications, ones that Yuuya doesn’t want to get into. Thankfully, he’s got half a plate of food to focus on, and he takes several large bites to stall for time. However, it doesn’t solve the issue at hand: Yoko will know if he’s lying. Perhaps she already knows what’s gone wrong, as while it’s unlikely that Himika has gone looking for Reira, Heartland might’ve called Yoko asking about Reira’s disappearance.

He swallows the food into his mouth and once more washes it down with milk. “It’s a secret,” Yuuya says at last.

“Are you doing something bad?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “No.”

“Then it’s good.” She smiles at him, and takes a drink of her hot coffee. Her smile is hard to read – his mother has a Mona Lisa smile, one that looks genuine but that you can never discern the true emotion. If Yoko is happy or angry or sad, it’ll be impossible for Yuuya to know unless he asks her outright. Yet he feels happy; he’s told her the truth. That’s what matters, right?

He finishes up the rest of his breakfast and clears his place at the table. While he brushes his teeth and dresses for school, he hears Yoko puttering around the kitchen. Only when Yuuya returns to put on his shoes and jacket, and grab his backpack, does he realise what she’s been doing all this time. In her hand is a wrapped bento box like she made for him when the school didn’t offer hot lunch. 

“Mom, I already have lunch,” Yuuya reminds her.

She pushes it closer to him. “In case you get hungry before lunchtime,” she says. 

With a smile, Yuuya takes it. He knows just who will appreciate this hot food.

“Thank you, Mama!” He tugs on the rest of his winter gear and hikes his backpack up on his shoulders. He can feel the cold seeping under the door; it’ll be chilly out in this weather. However, already his heart is thumping in his chest over seeing Reira. He’ll have breakfast with her before class, and then head off to school.

For the entire walk across town, Yuuya has a skip in his step. The moonlight guides him along the slick roads and past the school, where not a single light is on. Yuuya thinks about turning back to go check on Reira’s house, but he shivers at the thought of seeing that place. He, Yuuto, and Yuuri will check it out later on.

When Yuuya gets to the bus, he stands up on the step and knocks three times. “Reira, it’s Yuuya! Good morning!” Then he opens the door and peers inside. This time, Reira isn’t staring at him through the curtain. “Reira?”

She appears a moment later, peeking behind the sheet. There are visible bags under her red eyes, ones that weren’t there the night before. She looks pale too, and Yuuya worries that she might’ve gotten cold overnight. Quickly he climbs up the steps and kicks off his boots. He closes the door so as to not let out any more of the hot air, and then he follows Reira to the back of the bus. 

“Good morning,” he says once more. “I brought you breakfast – here.”

“Isn’t that yours?” Reira says.

Yuuya shakes his head. “Mama sent me with a second lunch, and I already had breakfast. You can have it. Here.” He pushes it into her hands. Reira thanks him with a small head nod, and then takes her food to her blanket nest to eat. The room feels cosy and warm; Yuuya settles down next to Reira, tugging the blankets over his shoulders. 

“You OK?” Yuuya ventures. “You look a little –”

“Wow!” Reira gasps. She’s pulled off the lid to the bento and stares inside at the food. Yuuya knows the dishes by heart: rice, green beans, hot dogs, egg, and pickled beets. There’s even a small cupcake dish with a couple of raspberries inside that brings out the brightness of the meal. Reira looks up from the food, eyes glistening. “Thank you, Yuuya.”

“Go on it, eat up,” he says with a laugh. “You can’t start the day without breakfast, right?”

Reira doesn’t respond, too busy shovelling rice into her mouth with her chopsticks. She doesn’t pause once to talk. Yuuya doesn't think she’s starving; no, after they talked for a bit Yuuto went out to get take-out curry for Reira so she’d have dinner. No, Yuuya supposes Yoko’s cooking is just that good and Reira likes the dishes.

In the blink of an eye, the bento box is emptied and Reira closes it with a satisfied smile. Cheeks red, she wraps it up and sets it down next to her. “Thank you for the meal,” she tells him. 

“It’s the least I can do,” Yuuya says. “It must get boring being in here all day …”

Reira shakes her head. “You come and visit me lots, and yesterday Yuuri told me he’ll stop by this afternoon with some books for me to read.” She laughs behind her hand, a tittering sound. “Honestly, I’m fine here. I’m … safe.” At those words, her eyes grow clouded. Yuuya spots the change at once.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing,” Reira replies, a little too quickly for Yuuya’s tastes.

He clicks his tongue in this back of his throat, but he can’t question Reira any further. He can hear kids playing out on the field, and their voices are far too loud. Yuuya leans to the side to hear better, and Reira catches what he’s doing.

“School should be starting soon,” she explains. “The kids won’t come in here, or at least they haven’t, but you should go.”

She’s right. Sighing, Yuuya picks himself up off the bench and gathers his bag at the corner.Together they head back to the front door. Reira doesn’t come out from around it though, hovering towards the end of the bus.

“Cold?” Yuuya jokes.

“Yes,” she says. “Don’t be late.” 

“I won’t.”

She smiles for him, teeth showing, eyes brightening. “Thank you, Yuuya – honestly.”

“Don’t mention it!” He raises one bare hand, wincing at the cold wind that nips at his fingers. “See ya!”

The moment Yuuya steps out of the bus, he realises that the noises they heard  _ were  _ close: there are elementary school children playing out on the field, tossing snowballs at one another and building complex snow sculptures in groups. Instead of heading back around the bus and towards the school, Yuuya skips forward and slips into the play yard. If he wants to blend in, he should be around the other children. He might stick out to them, but to any adult he’s just another kid walking through the school.

“Stop moving – I’m trying to hit you!”

“You can’t balance a ball that big! The head of the snowman needs to be smaller!”

Yuuya chuckles as he dashes by students. At his school, he and his friends have built snowmen before. Yuugo was the one to insist they needed to make the biggest snowball ever, one that they could climb on and then turn into a fort. As always, Yuugo’s ideas have been grand.

As Yuuya gets off the field, he finds more students heading into the building. Neo Domino looks more institutional that Heartland Academy: it’s a big, stone building stretching several floors up. There are no decorations hanging from the windows, and the only colour Yuuya sees are on the playgrounds dusted with snow and scattered around the fields.

“I don’t wanna give the speech.”

“You’re smart,” her friend remarks. “Have hope!”

Yuuya spins around at the mention of those words – Hope’s words. He sees the blurs of a girl a bit taller than him, one with spritely green hair flaring out around her head. She looks to be his age, so maybe she's in fifth grade too. 

_ Izayoi … Rin? That was her name, right? The girl who went to Neo Domino Elementary.  _ Yuuya shakes his head, and tries to look straight as he heads out of the courtyard and backs towards Heartland Elementary. With any luck, he’ll only be a few minutes late to class and he won’t get in trouble.

His prediction is correct: Yuuya is exactly four minutes late to class, and Heartland claps closed the roll book just as Yuuya slides the door open. He receives a stern glare from Heartland peeking over his glasses, but he clicks open the roll book and marks him absent.

“No Reira again,” he murmurs.

Yuuya nods as he takes his seat. Once again, Reira is safe in the bus. She won’t be returning to class until this mess is sorted out.

“Hey, Sakaki.” Serena narrows her eyes at him, and leans just close enough that she can whisper without being overheard by Heartland, who has his back turned to the class while he writes the lesson on the board. “You’re pretty close to Akaba – what happened to him?”

With his best feigned confused expression, Yuuya shrugs. “Dunno. I went to her house this morning to see where she was, and no one came out. Her mother didn’t even answer the door, so …”

There is a  _ loud  _ screech of a desk moving forward, and not a second later Yuugo whisper-yells in his ear, “Maybe she went on vacation –”

Serena snaps around and pushes Yuugo back into his seat. “Mind your own business, Fudou.”

“Akaba is part of my business  _ too,”  _ Yuugo says. “I wanna know where she is too, and if she’s coming back to class. Don’t you?”

Yuuya’s throat feels dry. He can’t just tell Yuugo this, not after already getting so many of his friends involved. It’s best if Yuugo is the one friend who just doesn’t know.

It doesn’t make it any easier though to hear Yuugo and Serena bickering. They only stop when Heartland, standing at the front of the class, claps his hands together twice to gather their attentions. “Everyone,” he says, “Reira will come to class soon. Sometimes he’s a bit late, and that shouldn’t bother us.”

_ He didn’t give out the lie,  _ thinks Yuuya. Back then, Heartland told the class that Reira went to live with her grandparents. Now that there’s no kidnapper to worry about though, Heartland must suspect something different.

On cue, Heartland’s eyes dart over to him. “Yuuya, I’ll have a word with you after class, if you don’t mind.”

_ I do mind,  _ Yuuya wants to say, but he holds his tongue and nods once, twice. There’s no way of getting away from Heartland, and any attempts to do so will just seem suspicious. Yuuya needs to pretend that he is innocent in all this, at least until it is safe enough to reveal the truth. As much as Yuuya trusts Heartland, he knows that his teacher will follow the rules. If Reira is found, Heartland will have no choice but return her to Himika’s care until child protection services can get involved, and by that time Reira could be in even more danger.

Under the desk, Yuuya’s hands ball into fists. He’ll help Heartland, his teacher whom he can trust, but he can’t let Reira go quite yet.

When class does end, Yuuya lingers around the room while his friends gather their belongings. He and Heartland wait until the room clears out, and then, like that one time before, Yuuya follows Heartland out the door and down the long, windowed hallway. Their reflections blur along the frosty glass; Yuuya can’t see his teacher’s expression until Heartland turns to smile at him in the elevator.

“You’re looking worried, Yuuya. Is something the matter?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “Nothing, sir. Sorry for worrying you.” He fakes a smile, cheeks pinched. 

Heartland clicks his teeth together. “That’s no good – if you smile like that, you make me think you have something to hide. ” Lazily, his eyes slide down to Yuuya. “You aren’t hiding anything, are you?”

Again, Yuuya shakes his head, only this time he doesn’t force a smile. When the elevator doors open, Yuuya follows behind Heartland as they head through the oak door and into the teacher’s lounge. There are clusters of desks, some neatly arranged and others an image of organised chaos; Heartland’s is the latter, sticky notes glued to any available surface. A stack of folders and textbooks tips from side to side. Pouring out of the desk drawers are notes and papers, none of which Yuuya thinks are meant for teaching his class.

Heartland leads him over to a stool beside his office chair, a swivel-seat with a high back meant to help one’s posture. Yuuya’s seat is the shape of a large, wooden spool.

When they’re seated across from each other, Yuuya tucks his hands into his armpits and looks down at his feet. “I don’t have anything to hide, sir,” he says, “but … I am worried about Akaba. I’m worried  _ for  _ her.”

Heartland nods. “Understandable. You two have become quite good friends, haven’t you?”

“Right.” Yuuya clears his throat, and then says, “This morning, before I came to class, I checked Akaba’s house. No one was there … I mean, usually Akaba’s house is quiet and there’s no one outside, and the blinds are closed. But today, it didn’t even seem like anyone lived there anymore.” He pulls his legs up to his chin, balancing himself atop the stool. “I’m worried, sir.”

“You’re … calmer though, than I expected you to be.”

Yuuya looks up. “Huh?”

“Reira is missing, isn’t she? You know that.”

“I do, sir.” Yuuya lets his legs hang back down, bouncing them against the wooden leg of the seat. “But sir, you once told me ‘You have to be calm as usual in times like these.’ You told me that getting worked up and emotional over such things won’t solve the problem.” 

“You’re right,” Heartland says with a slow smile. He reaches across his desk and extracts a manila folder, one out of the many hundreds lying on his desk. Inside are phone numbers and reports that don’t make sense to Yuuya until Heartland starts speaking again. “These are Reira’s home phone numbers and emergency contact numbers. I’ve called her house over these past two days, but no one has answered. Her mother’s boss even said that Himika, Reira’s mother, hasn’t shown up to work lately.”

“I bet Akaba’s mother is at home.” 

“I think so too.”

Yuuya’s eyes glance over at the file once more, at the emergency picture of Reira to help identify her. She looks happy there, sitting among the grass with her long, violet hair splayed out around her. It must be a picture that’s a few years old because Yuuya has never seen that expression on Reira outside of him spending private time with her. Reira would have never let anyone photograph her smile.

“Mr. Heartland, can you call CPS?”

“Hm?”

“I’m scared for Akaba. What if she’s at home with her mother? You … know about the bruises too. We need to do something.”

Heartland closes the folder and sets it back down atop the hundreds more on his desk. He swings out his long, gangly legs and stretches up to the ceiling. “I’m ahead of you, Yuuya,” he says with a chuckle. “I called CPS yesterday, and they’re coming today. I’ll be going with them to the house.”

It’s a different outcome. 

Yuuya’s face breaks into a wide smile. “You’re going to find Akaba?”

Heartland nods. “All the times before, CPS has never been able to get a hold of his mother. Today though, after class, I’ll check in with the family to see what’s going on.” His face splits into a wide grin. “I can’t tell you much more about it though – this isn’t really the information you share with your elementary school students, right?”

Yuuya presses a finger to the corner of his mouth and turns it, mimicking the gesture of locking something with a key. “It’s a secret,” he whispers. “T-thank you, sir.” Yuuya hops off the stool and gets to his feet. He drops down into a low bow. “Thank you, sir,” he repeats.

“Off you go now,” Heartland says, shooing him away with a hand. “You have homework to do and I have tests to mark.” He crosses his fingers together. “Let’s hope we both see Reira tomorrow.”

Yuuya holds up the same hand, fingers intertwined. “Let’s.”

After class though, Yuuay doesn’t head home. He hurries down the road and past the turnoff for his house. His boots catch in the deep snow, and soon he has to take great, heaving stomps to get through the frozen ground. The park where Reira used to wait is empty during this season; already the sun has begun to set, and the meagre light of the park comes from a single lamppost stretching half as high as some of the great, coniferous trees.

Yuuya settles down on one of the frozen benches, curling his legs together to keep as most of his body heat as he can. As soon as he’s sitting he can feel the heat seeping out of him. He buries his face deep into the collar of his jacket, but still it’s cold. Just how did Reira survive all these cold winter days by herself? She’d be here for hours, and unless Yuuma came to see her she was alone.

Thankfully, he only has to wait here for an hour. Yuuya isn’t sure what time Heartland and the child protection workers will arrive at Reira’s house, but he’ll sneak around the side and watch them. 

When the time comes, Yuuya follows the path out of the park and down the dark road. There are fewer lights in this district, creating shadows that appear to belong to great monsters. If Yuuya’s blood hasn’t run cold now, the goosebumps littering his arms have turned him into an icicle. No matter where Yuuya looks, he thinks someone’s eyes are on him. 

He’s thankful when he can get off the road and stand at the edge of the path up to Reira’s house. There isn’t a single light on nor the smoke of the chimney. The blinds are closed, the house bereft of any life. 

Sighing, Yuuya heads past it to the next house. Reira’s neighbours live in the same style of house, but they’ve accented it with evergreen shrubs and a few Christmas lawn ornaments. They have a car parked in their driveway, which Yuuya crouches behind. From his hiding spot, he can peek under the car and see Reira’s house.

Not moments later, a series of bright car lights come down the road. They stop just outside of the household. Over the noise of the wind Yuuya can’t hear what anyone has said, but he spots several people come out: a man and a woman, dressed in crisp business suits under thick trench coats; and Heartland, boasting a gaudy fur coat and bright, heeled boots. Yuuya has to chuckle at his teacher’s ridiculous sense of style.

The man, woman, and Heartland gather around at the edge of the Akaba property for a few minutes, talking among themselves. Then they approach the house. Yuuya hears them knock two different times on the door; they step back both times so as to not be beamed by the door should Himika open it. However, no one answers the door. Again, the two adults try.

Heartland, however, has moved on. He hops down the stairs and travels around the side of the house to where the back door and shed are. A long time ago, being in that place brought goosebumps to Yuuya’s skin; now though, he is no longer scared. Reira is safe with him. Himika can’t come after her anymore. 

Because of how far the driveway extends back into the house, Yuuya sneaks along the fence so that he can keep tracks of the adults. The further he heads back, the more of the conversation he can hear. He catches the snatch of “Heartland?” before, over the fence, Yuuya spots Heartland open the back door and step inside. There are no lights on until Heartland flicks them. From his position, Yuuya can’t quite see what’s going on. He doesn’t hear shouting or screaming, so –

“She’s not there.”

“There’s a meal on the counter, so she was just here – just  _ one  _ meal though, so I don’t think Reira is here too.” 

The two service workers remain outside of the house, looking a bit uncomfortable about stepping up into the house. Yuuya chuckles under his breath: Heartland doesn’t have a search warrant, does he? 

A few minutes later Heartland returns from the house, not looking too shocked or surprised. “She’s gone, but it’s safe to assume that Reira isn’t in her care.”

The workers nod. “Let’s keep an eye on her,” the woman says, “and wait until the mother has calmed down. As long as mother and child are separated, we should have no worries. It’s in our best interests to keep Reira safe, so we’ll focus on finding her. Perhaps she’s at a friend’s house.”

Heartland hums under his breath. It makes Yuuya’s blood run cold. Could Heartland suspect him of hiding Reira? He would be the most likely candidate, right? And Heartland did mention about how close Yuuya had become to Reira?

Swallowing, Yuuya steps away from the fence. The investigation is over, and he doesn’t want to hear any more of Heartland’s suspicions … not that there are any, since he can hear Heartland now joking with the child protection workers about coming to his class to teach a lesson on safety, and about how they should now go out for a drink since they’re all off-duty.

Silently, Yuuya slips away from the house and back down the road. He lets the moonlight lead him out of Reira’s deserted neighbourhood and towards the school. Once he’s past Heartland Academy though, he takes off through the city. The more the runs the faster his heart beats, like he’s running away from his own fate. Yuuya tears through the deep snow outside of the bus, ruining the careful footprints of his classmates. He slams into the door and bangs once, twice, three times. 

“Reira!”

It’s Yuuto who opens the door, teeth in his lip. “Yuuya? It looks like you’ve seen death.”

_ She’s OK.  _ Just past Yuuto is Reira, peeking behind the curtain with her own blanket wrapped around her body. His cheeks are rosy-red, and in one hand he cold a cup of tea. “Everything OK?”

Yuuya nods. He hurries up the stairs and shuts the door behind him. Quickly, he begins tearing off his winter gear, shivering from exposing the skin of his arms and neck. “Yeah, all good. I … went to your house. Child protection services came along with Heartland and –”

From his spot by the heater, Yuuri speaks up: “Did they see you?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “I don’t think so. At least I made sure they wouldn’t spot me.”

“You don’t sound very convincing.”

Yuuya throws down his jacket. “Then fine, they didn’t see me. I was hiding behind a car and a fence, and I don’t even think they’d be able to hear me breathing.”

A hand falls on his shoulder; it belongs to Yuuto, who leads him to a place to sit down by the heater. A warm mug of hot chocolate is pushed into his hands which Yuuya gratefully accepts with a smile. He sips at the hot chocolate for a moment, and then gazes up at Reira.

“Your mom wasn’t there, Reira.”

He shifts under the blankets. “OK.”

“I’m guessing this case will be solved today or tomorrow, since they should find your mom soon. Then you can be free and come clean, and …” Yuuya’s throat tightens. “Reira, you’ll finally be separated from your mom.”

In the cosy bus, the words echo around the space, bouncing off the metal walls boarded up with cardboard and sheets. They all have their own nests around the heater, bundled up to stay warm. This might be the last night that any of them hang out here. In a way, this a secret base to protect Reira. 

“I’ll be more than happy … in that case,” Reira answers. She takes a deep sip of her hot chocolate and licks her pink lips. 

Yuuya swallows the pit deep in his throat. “One time, Mr. Heartland told me what would happen if child protection services came to get you, and –”

Reira’s hand lands on his own. “It’ll be OK,” he says. “I’ll still smile, still feel happy, whenever I think of all the friends I’ve made here. I’ll feel warm whenever I think of you, Yuuya.” Her fingers squeeze his, as if to check that he can feel the heat from the palm of her hand and the love that she’s conveying. 

Reaching back behind her, a tentative smile appears on Reira’s face. “Yuuya, I know I’m a bit late with these, but …”

From behind her back she holds out a pair of hand-knit mittens made of soft, green wool. There are no patterns or designs on them, nothing more than the knitting itself, but Yuuya can tell that there was love and care put into them. This pair of mittens, he’s seen them before, long ago in a garbage bag. These are the mittens that Reira never got a chance to finish, the birthday present she was never able to give to him. But now they’ve passed that day and avoided that cruel destiny. Yuuya  _ changed  _ fate so that Reira could keep his promise.

When Yuuya doesn’t hold out his hands, Reira snatches them up and squeezes his hands round the mittens. She holds them there, smiling, cheeks glowing a soft, milky rose. “Happy birthday, Yuuya.”

Yuuya thinks back to all the times he’s gone with cold hands, all the times he’d held Reira’s warm hands. Now …

Yuuya brings them up to his chest, holding back a sob deep in his throat. He won’t cry for Reira. He’ll be happy knowing that his efforts changed fate so that he and Reira could share this day together.

_ I think,  _ Yuuya tells himself, looking around the room at the glowing faces of his friends,  _ I’ve been looking forward to this moment. _

“Yuuya, there are tears in your eyes …” Reira’s fingers brush against his cheeks, her thumbs rubbing just at the spots under his eyes. Yuuya raises a hand too, and when he pulls it back he finds several tear drops clinging to his fingernails. Reira raises a corner of the blanket to scrub once more across his face, and then she mutters, “Silly, why don’t you sleep here tonight?”

“Bold!” Yuuri remarks loudly.

Sitting next to Yuuri, even Yuuto’s mouth hangs open a bit. 

As for Yuuya, there are too many emotions flitting in his brain to get out little more than a, “Wha–?” to Reira.

“I mean,” Reira says with a clear of his throat, “stay here in the bus with me. Last night …” she settles back into his blanket, tugging the corners up around his shoulders. “Someone came in last night, a stranger.”

The mood grows solemn. Yuuri stops giggling and Yuuto stops gaping, and Yuuya’s eyes narrow. “What happened?” he asks.

“It wasn’t anything bad,” Reira says, as if she’s trying to defend whoever came in here, “but I was scared. They dropped a bag down on the ground, and they … kicked a box.”

“Could have been one of the teachers or janitors from Neo Domino,” Yuuri says –

“But,” Yuuto interrupts, “what business would they have coming to an abandoned bus late at night? That’s suspicious.” He gathers himself to his feet and heads behind the curtain blocking the front of the bus. A moment later, he comes back dragging in a musty looking hiking backpack, like the one an explorer might carry for an arduous adventure. There are several flap pockets on the sides, and one large pocket cinched up with a drawstring in the middle.

“Found it,” Yuuto says. 

Reira nods. “I didn’t want to check it out until you were here.”

Coming around the side, Yuuri’s face splits into a grin. “I bet some teenager came here to hide his porn books.”

Yuuya looks up with a deadpan expression. “Be serious, Yuuri.”

“I am,” he says with a sniff. “Look, I’ll show it to you.” And Yuuri does, upturning the back before any of them can pull his hands back.

Out of the bag rolls a roll of duct tape, then a length of rope. With another shake, a flashlight and a spray bottle appear. The rest of the items are too big, but Yuuri yanks them out as well: a pair of large, rubber boots, adult-sized cotton gloves, a balaclava, and plastic wrap. There are no porn books, no tools or papers than someone at the school might carry around.

A dark feeling drops into Yuuya’s stomach and he gags behind his hand. Those are … 

The killer’s tools. Eighteen years ago, he kidnapped Akaba Reira from the shed, tied her up, and froze her in the Tsukumo Food’s fridge. He used a spray to cool her body down and speed up her death. Then he carried her back. There were no fingerprints on her body, and the boots belonged to Tsukumo Yuuma.

_ But Reira’s still alive,  _ Yuuya thinks. 

However …

Eighteen years ago, just shortly after Akaba Reira’s death, another girl died, one with bouncy green hair and gold eyes. A girl from a school in another community, who went to Neo Domino Academy.

Izayoi Rin.

_ We’re still in the middle of the case,  _ Yuuya realises.  _ The killer is going after Izayoi. _


	23. Chapter 23

_ _

_ I haven’t stopped the killer yet: he’s still out there, and he could go after Izayoi at any moment. The killer … that night, he planned to kill Akaba. He had everything he needed to kidnap and kill her, and later to plant the blame on Hope. I’ve saved Akaba but it’s not over yet. I can’t let my guard down when someone I care about could get hurt. _

Yuuya glances to the face mask before. Just like those lecherous, toady eyes Yuuya has seen peeking around the corner, this balaclava has two slits for bulging eyes. His blood grows cold just thinking about this killer wearing the mask, tying his victim up, suffocating them, freezing them –

His eyes close for a moment. Did the killer know that Reira was here? No, or else he would’ve killed her last night. The killer was going to go after Rin though. He has the tools to commit the same murder.

“We need to get out of here,” Yuuya whispers. He clears his throat, and then tries again. “We need to get out of here, now.”

“What … is this?” Yuuto asks him, holding up the rope. He has a pensive look on his face, like he hasn’t quite come to a conclusion before he’s investigated all the facts. That’s like Yuuto. Meanwhile, Yuuri has bitten back his tongue and Reira’s eyes are as wide as dinner plates. Neither of them seem comfortable with the situation, perhaps knowing the danger this could lead to.

Yuuya yanks off the blanket and douses the fire in the heater. There’s a hiss of steam that leaks through the door, plunging them into darkness. “It’s not safe to be here if someone like that came into the bus.” 

Yuuto begins packing up their blankets and food as well. He rips down the sheet hanging from the ceiling, and gathers up all the food they’ve brought Reira to eat. Yuuri collects his books that he shared with Reira for when he was bored during the mornings and afternoons while everyone else was at school. There’s a tense feeling in the air, one of anticipation and worry.

“Where will we go?” Yuuto asks. “You have a place in mind, don’t you, Yuuya?”

Yuuya nods. Now that the sheet is down, the moonlight from the front windows peers into the bus, casting eerie shadows. Yuuya spots the footprint Reira mentioned against one of the boxes. It’s a big mark, coming from the boot of an adult, and not the same footprint as the boots lying in the middle of the floor. 

_ This is from the killer,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ Remember it. _

Yuuto peers over his shoulder. “That’s it?”

Yuuya nods. His hands ball into tight fists, nails digging into his palms. When Yuuya’s eyes glance down though, he spots something else – black powder spilling from the ripped corner of one of the cardboard boxes. With a frown, Yuuya pulls open the top of the box. There’s a charcoal burner inside, and a heavy bag of charcoal that’s spilling throughout the box and seeping onto the floor.

In all the case notes Yuuya’s read, he doesn’t remember this being a weapon. However, if Reira isn’t the first victim, perhaps this is for another death. Who else died? Who else was kidnapped?

_ Kids … burning … has it happened before? _

He squeezes his eyes shut. There were deaths on the radio, weren’t there? Dozens of them, all “solved” cases. This must’ve been from one of those murders. Which means …

This is a weapon too.

Yuuya reaches up and yanks down another box. Is this a weapons storehouse? Is the killer affiliated with Neo Domino? Is that why he hid his tools in this bus? 

Yuuto’s hand grabs his before Yuuya can get his fingers round the top of the next box. “Yuuya, stop,” Yuuto says. “It doesn’t matter anymore, does it? We need to leave here now.”

His eyes flick up to the boxes. What else could the killer have hidden in there? More clues? 

Yuuya turns away with a heavy sniffle. If there are more clues, he’ll stop the killer before he gets a chance to use any other weapons. No burning bodies, no more murders. He will keep Reira and Yuuri safe from the criminal, and he’ll watch out for Rin. Those three are still in danger.

Plus … Yuuto doesn’t know about that. Yuuto only knows that Reira was in danger and that they’re protecting him, not about anything else that’s happened today. To Yuuto, Yuuya must seem like he’s overreacting.

Yuuya turns around and bows his head. “You’re right, Yuuto. Sorry for losing my temper.”

Looking back over his shoulder, Yuuya can see that their fort has been emptied out. Yuuri has his books, Reira has the food, and by his shoes are the blankets that Yuuto and Yuuya will carry. With one last look at their hideout, Yuuya smiles. 

“It was a good hideout,” he whispers, “but a hideout that someone can find isn’t safe. I have a much better plan though.”

And with that, he pulls on his boots and jacket and heads out into the blustery winter night. The wind catches on his exposed cheeks. His hands, wrapped up in the soft mittens, feel much warmer. He waits in the knee-high snow while his friends pull on their winter gear and stumble down the stairs after him. Once they’re all together, they head back through the snow to the road. The moonlight guides them down the sidewalk. Not a single car or bus passes them by at this late hour; the town is sleepy.

When they pass their school, Yuuto asks if they’re turning down into the city. There are hotels they could rent a room in, though none of them have the cash on them to afford such a luxury. There might be a cafe they could sit in for a while though.

Yuuya shakes his head. “Follow me.”

The further they go down the streets, the more familiar the surroundings become: a quaint suburb, a house with a mat that reads ‘ENJOY!’ There are lights on on the main level, and even through the doorway Yuuya can smell food cooking on the stovetop.

“You have  _ got  _ to be kidding me,” Yuuri growls.  _ “This  _ is your grand idea? Are you an  _ idiot?” _

It’s Yuuya’s house. Just beyond the doorway, the sounds of Yoko’s feet on the ground tell them that the moment they open the door, she will see them. She might think it’s normal to see Yuuto and Yuuri at her doorstep, but Reira, the child who’s been missing?

“This is your plan?” Yuuto says, voice even.

Yuuya nods. “It’s simple. Trust me.”

Yuuya grabs the door handle and twists it open. Flinging open the door, he calls out to Yoko, “I’m home!”

She’s in the kitchen before the stove, stirring several things in large pans. She looks up when she spots them, and smiles warmly. “Welcome back, Yuuya.” Looking past them, she notices the three other children standing out in the snow. Her smile disappears. She brushes her hands on the front of her pants and comes to stand in the doorway, arms now crossed in front of her chest. She’s much taller than any of them, staring down her nose with deep, green eyes.

“Yuuya, explain yourself.”

Before Yuuya can say anything, Yuuto and Yuuri fall forward in a bow. “Good evening.” Out of the corner of her eye, Reira spots them bowing and mimics them.

Reaching behind him, Yuuya grabs hold of Reira’s hand and pulls her up to the front. “Mama, something happened, something that I think you might know about. I think you know about this case, and I need your help. But once you’re involved in this, you can’t leave it on your own. You help me, and I help you.”

Yoko nods slowly, looking from each child. Then she reaches out and places one slender hand on Reira’s head. Her fingers comb through Reira’s violet locks as if the strands are silk. “You did well. Come on inside.”

Cheekily, Yuuya nods. “I knew you’d say so,” he tells her. Chuckling, he thinks,  _ “Even though I thought you’d scold us first.” _

“Why would I scold you?” she says, rustling Yuuya’s own hair. Her fingers catch in the elastic of his goggles, and with a soft sigh she tugs Yuuya up against her chest, nestling his face into her stomach. “You did well, Yuuya. You cared for a friend, and did what you had to do.”

She lets him go so that he can slip off his shoes and jacket. The house is warm and cosy; the futon is already set up – Yuuya can see it from the open bedroom door – and there is even a stack of folded blankets sitting outside of the room should anyone be cold. The delicious scent is coming from the kitchen; Yuuya follows his nose to where just one pot simmers – curry, he realises, after peeking inside. He can smell the rich, creamy scent even when the lid is closed. The other pot is the rice cooker steaming away.

_ That’s a lot of curry,  _ Yuuya thinks, and he opens his mouth to say more when he catches Yoko with her arms crossed again, and that same, knowing smirk on her puffy lips.

“I thought you might be home soon, but I didn’t know who else you’d bring with you, or if you’d bring anyone at all. So I settled on curry, one of your favourites. That should warm you right up, right?” She winks to him, and then mosies back into the kitchen to take out plates for everyone.

Yuuya feels his cheeks grow hot at the implication. Yoko knew he would bring friends over. She was prepared for him, saw right through his plans from the start.

“T-thanks, Mama.”

“Come have a seat,” she tells him, “There’s only three seats at the table, so one of you is going to have to share –”

“You can sit with me, Akaba!” Yuuya says. He only realises what he’s implied when Yuuri snorts into his hand and Yoko’s smile only widens. His cheeks grow crimson red, but he still schooches to the side of the chair to let Reira sit up next to him. Once both of them are on the chair, Yoko comes round with plates divided half into curry and half into rice, and she passes a plate over for each of them.

When they have all been served, Reira hops down from his seat for a second and holds out a bento box wrapped in a decorative, blue handkerchief, the same meal that Yuuya brought to him one morning. Bowing his head forward, Reira passes the bento box to Yoko.

“Thank you, ma’am,” she says. “The food was delicious.”

“I’m glad – it’s Yuuya’s favourite meal, isn’t it?”

Yuuya dips his face closer to his plate so that Yoko can’t see how embarrassed he’s become. She must’ve known on that day where he was going.

At the end of the meal, Yuuri and Yuuto push their plates away with matching, devious smirks. 

“I really need to head home,” Yuuri says, “and Yuuto, you should come too.”

Yuuya rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine to do the dishes.”

“I’ll help,” Reira adds.

They say goodbye to Yuuri and Yuuto at the door, waving even once the door slams shut. The house has lulled to a peaceful silence; behind them, Yoko spoons the remaining rice and curry into plastic containers to save for another meal. Now that their friends are gone, Yuuya gathers up the plates and cutlery and brings them to the counter. He shows Reira how to fill up the sink and where to find the dish soap. Together, they wash the dishes, Yuuya washing and Reira rinsing them and placing them to dry on the rack. 

Halfway through the dishes, Yoko settles a hand on Yuuya’s shoulder. “I’m going to make a quick phone call.”

Yuuya wonders just why she’s let him know of this, but he doesn’t have to think for long. Not a moment later Yuuya hears Yoko speak up from the other room: “Hi, Mr. Heartland, this is Sakaki Yoko calling. I’m Sakaki Yuuya’s mother.”

Slowly, Yuuya turns to look at Reira. She’s stopped rinsing dishes, her hands still in the warm water.

“Mr. Heartland, Yuuya and Reira are back at my house, safe and sound. They’ve just had dinner.” 

There’s a pause on the line, short enough that Yuuya doesn’t have a chance to think about just what Heartland might think of this situation.

“Will Reira end up in a facility then?” Another pause. “All right, at seven pm tomorrow then. Sounds good, thank you for that. Have a good night.”

Yoko doesn’t say another word.

Still standing before the sink, Yuuya tries to spur himself back into washing the dishes. His mind though clings to those words. Were his mother and his teacher talking about the chance that Reira might have to go away? If Reira is taken away from Himika, he’ll likely go out of the city to live in a foster home. Saving Reira likely means saying goodbye to Reira …

A splash in the water startles Yuuya from his thoughts. Reira splashes his hands once more, and mutters, “Keep washing, Yuuya.”

“G-got it,” he answers.

Returning from the room, Yoko comes to stand behind them. She rests her large, firm hands on both of their shoulders, applying just enough pressure to ease the tension from Yuuya’s heart. “Reira,” she says, “I think you should sleep here tonight. There’s a spare futon set up for you in the bedroom, and I’ll make you breakfast in the morning. How does that sound?”

Not meeting Yoko’s eyes, Reira nods towards the sink. “That sounds … nice, ma’am.”

“Just call me Yoko,” she says. “Now finish up. Why don’t you both take a bath too?”

Yuuya goes red to the tips of his ears. “T-together?” he squeaks.

He receives a strong bop on the head from Yoko’s fists. “I don’t think Reira wants to bathe with you, do you? No, Reira and I can bathe together, and you’ll go by yourself. You’re old enough to do so now, aren’t you?” 

It’s not a question Yuuya is meant to answer. He looks to Reira, who seems a bit surprised or even embarrassed by the idea, if her red cheeks and downcast expression are anything to go by. 

Yoko simply strokes Reira’s hair though and says, “Come now, we’ll take the first bath while the water is hot.”

In the meantime, Yuuya finishes the dishes. He keeps an ear out for the sounds of Yoko and Reira bathing together. He hears Yoko giggling as she tells Reira to keep her eyes closed as she washes her hair, and then the sounds of them chatting together as they soak in the warm water. They don’t appear for another half hour, and when the door opens Reira is dressed in a pair of Yuuya’s button-down pyjamas. Her long, violet hair stretches to her lower back; Yoko runs her fingers through it, murmuring, “We’ll brush this out for you in a bit.”

Looking up, she adds, “Yuuya, bathtime.”

Yuuya hurries to the bathroom, strips, and scrubs himself clean. Again, he listens to Yoko whispering lullabies as she no doubt brushes the thick strands of Reira’s hair. Yuuya’s own hair has volume to it, and when it’s wet it dangles down past his shoulders at the back, but it’s by no means as beautiful as Reira’s hair. When Yuuya comes out of the bathroom, clean and in pyjamas, he finds Yoko and Reira sitting on the beds.

Yoko is in the middle.

Oh.

Yoko pats the side opposite of her. She’s put herself directly in the middle between Yuuya and Reira, and she must know the implications of this. “Come lie down, Yuuya.”

Smiling, Yuuya settles down on the bed, tucking his toes under the sheets. He wiggles himself under the covers next. Lying down, he can’t see over Yoko to where Reira lies, but he supposes no one is awake yet. Across the bedroom, Reira’s breath is soft, a whisper in the night.

“This is kinda like a field trip, isn’t it?” Yuuya says. He tucks his arms behind his head as he remembers his field trip in middle school. “One time I went to Academia, and I got to see the great, big sea, and the duel school floating on the water. It was an awesome castle, a massive duel school.”

Yoko’s eyebrows pinch together. “You’ve never been to Academia before.”

_ Shit,  _ thinks Yuuya. He was in sixth grade when he went to Academia – that hasn’t happened yet! “Sorry, I mean I saw it in a book somewhere about the dimensional cities. I meant I want to go there some time and see Duel Academia.”

No one answers. With the lights off and the stars only providing dull light through the window, Yuuya can’t see Yoko’s face, much less Reira who’s sleeping on what feels like the other end of the room. Yuuya lifts his head off the pillow just enough so he can peek over and see Reira doing the same, trying to see him with her big, blue eyes.

Between them, Yoko sniffs. “Am I in the way?”

_ “Yes,”  _ thinks Yuuya.

Yoko’s fist bops him on the head once more, and, cheeks burning, Yuuya realises he’s spoken aloud.

“That  _ hurt,”  _ he whines.

Yoko shushes him. One hand snakes out from under the sheets and comes to settle along his cheeks. “It’s time to sleep, Yuuya. You can talk in the morning.”

So he does, but even once his eyes are closed he listens to the breathing of Yoko and Reira, two lives that he’s managed to save.

* * *

In the morning, Yuuya rolls over, throwing his arms to the side, and comes up empty. There’s … no one lying next to him. The space beside him is empty, and through the meagre light filtering in from the kitchen and through the bedroom door, Yuuya can see Reira lying across from him. His hair spills out around his face, and through the strands Yuuya spots his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted.

“Reira,” Yuuya whispers.

No answer.

Stretching his legs out, Yuuya attempts to touch Reira with his foot. He wiggles his toes against Reira’s, stirring her awake. Reira yawns with her mouth in a large ‘o’, and brings her hands up to rub at her eyes and nose. Then she blinks once, twice, eyes focusing on the sight before her. She spots him, and it gets her smiling.

“Yuuya …?” she whispers back. Her voice pitches at the end to form a question - she must not remember sleeping here.

With a yawn of his own, Yuuya stretches his arms above his head and rises out of the bed. “C’mon, Reira,” he says. “You slept here … and now it’s time to have breakfast.”

She doesn’t move from the bed for a moment, eyebrows furrowed. After a moment though, she pulls herself up off the futon and shuffles after him out of the room at into the kitchen. It’s bright at the table. The sounds of eggs frying on the pan; the smell of miso soup in the bowls. At the stove, Yoko stirs several different pans of vegetables.

“Good morning, you two,” she says. “Go on, take a seat and drink up your soup. I’ll be right there with the rest of your breakfast.”

Yuuya drags himself up to one of the chairs, stifling another yawn. Reira takes a seat next to him. Her eyes widen at the warm bowl. Out of the corner of his eyes, Yuuya sees Reira hesitantly take the spoon in her hands and dip it in the broth. She looks unsure of every action she takes, as if she’s never had breakfast before. Come to think of it, Yuuya wonders how Reira had breakfast if Himika never cared for her.

Yoko comes round with two plates that she sets down in front of them: beets, broccoli, fish. To the side is a bowl of white rice. Yuuya eagerly digs into his meal, thanking Yoko with a mouth full of fish.

Reira doesn’t move an inch. Her spoon hovers above her dishes, hand shaking. She doesn’t drop it, but when Yuuya snatches a glance her face is pinched in what appears to be pain. Teeth in her lips, Reira looks to be on the verge of tears. She sniffs once and brings her free hand up to rub at her face.

“Reira?” Yuuya says. “What’s wrong?”

Her spoon clatters on the table. With one heaving sob, Reira buries her face in her hands. Her shoulders shake with the force of her crying; through her hands Yuuya sees thick tears roll out. Whatever has upset her, she can’t voice. Words won’t come to her parting lips as she heaves for breath, leaning back in her chair at the breakfast table.

At once, Yoko is behind Reira’s chair, laying her hands on Reira’s shoulders.

Reira stiffens at once, gasping.

“Reira,” Yoko says, “it’s OK to be sad this morning. Why don’t you come with me to the bathroom to get cleaned up? Your food will still be waiting.”

Wordlessly, Reira nods and hops down from the table. Yoko keeps her hands on Reira’s shoulders as she guides him into the bathroom, where Yuuya hears the sounds of water running and Yoko’s soothing voice comforting Reira. What got him so upset, Yuuya can only wager guesses, but he thinks about all the times Reira must’ve woken up in the morning by himself and made breakfast for himself – how many times Reira must’ve sat at a table all alone. 

When Reira returns, his face is clean, albeit a bit red, and he rubs once at his wet eyes. He takes up his spoon once more and scoops up a mouthful. Then, turning to Yuuya, he tilts his head. “Aren’t you going to eat too?”

“Y-yeah, I am,” Yuuya answers, grabbing his chopsticks and digging into his plate. He doesn’t bring up Reira’s tears. Whatever happened, Yoko has resolved it. Sure enough, she goes back to the kitchen to clean up the pots and pans, always keeping an ear out for them.

When they’re done, Yuuya brings his dishes up to the counter. He hovers in the kitchen, looking down at his toes until he manages to catch Yoko’s attention. Then, mumbled, he says, “Mama, Reira can’t go to school today. Something happened.”

“That’s fine,” Yoko says. “You skip class sometimes too.”

Cheeks burning, Yuuya grounds out, “That’s not what I meant at all. Reira is a good student.”

“So are you, and good students still skip class.” She wipes her hands on her pants, a smirk in the corner of her mouth. “I don’t have work today either, so I’ll stay home with him. We’ll have a day together, and then you’ll come back from class. However …” She taps her chin, eyes focused on a spot just above Yuuya’s head. “Tonight, Reira needs to go home.”

“Home?” Yuuya echoes.

“Yes, home. We’re going to take her back at seven pm tonight. I bet her mother is out looking for her, and she needs to go know her child is safe. Don’t you agree?”

Yuuya doesn’t. He grinds his teeth together at the thought of Himika  _ ever  _ caring about Reira’s well-being. If anything, the only concerns Himika will have is whether or not she’ll be held responsible for her missing child. She wouldn’t care about Reira, not once or ever. Yoko must know that though, so Yuuya nods slowly. There is something Yoko isn’t telling him, probably having to do with the conversation she had with Heartland on the phone.

_ The adults are getting into action too,  _ thinks Yuuya.  _ I need to trust Mom. _

“OK,” Yuuya says. He looks over his shoulder, back at Reira finishing up her breakfast at the table. “Reira, I’ll walk you home tonight.”

Reira nods, thought a glimmer of light leaves her blue eyes.

He receives a tap on the shoulder from Yoko – a bit of pressure to let him know that she is still here, helping him, supporting him. Yuuya trusts in Yoko. Whatever she’s planned, she won’t let Reira be hurt by Himika. Maybe child protection services found something, or maybe Reira needs to return home so that they can then take her into protective custody. Yuuya doesn’t know much about the legal system, but Yoko does.

However, it doesn’t ease Yuuya’s mind. All throughout class the day passes by in a blur – conversations he should have paid attention to rest at the back of his mind. On several occasions Yuuto and Yuuri approach him asking about Reira, and Yuuya doesn’t have the courage to tell them that he’s taking Reira back to his mother tonight. The fewer people Yuuya involves, the better.

The only person Yuuya pays attention to is Heartland, whose frog-eyes keep focusing on Yuuya. Throughout class Yuuya finds himself watched by Heartland in every lesson. He sits towards the back of the class, not where the teacher should be looking; Yuuya isn’t even a strong student, or one that raises his hand often. Yet still Heartland watches him.

_ He talked to Mom last night,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ Something’s up, but I can’t ask him. _

To his surprise, Heartland doesn’t approach him after class. Yuuya packs up his books and folders without being interrupted. At the doorway, he pauses and listens for the sound of his name, but no one ushers him back inside. With a shrug, Yuuya takes off and heads back home. He’s turned down Yuuto and Yuuri’s requests to hang out after school, instead running home to find …

Yoko and Reira in the kitchen, side by side, peeling potatoes for dinner. They’re laughing, the soft lighting brightening their warm faces. Reira is wearing a pair of his clothes, jeans and a t-shirt; Yoko has done up his hair in twintails that twirl around his shoulders and down his back. Both of them have on cooking aprons, looking life chefs.

“Yuuya, it’s cold, close the door,” Yoko tells him. “And welcome back.”

Yuuya kicks the door closed with the back of his foot and begins pulling of his cold winter gear. “Hi Mama, hi Reira,” he greets. “Are you making dinner?”

“One last meal together before Reira goes home. How does that sound?”

Yuuya thinks about the many containers of curry in the fridge, and he chuckles to himself. Yoko must’ve wanted to make the most of this last day too, knowing that whatever happens tonight could mean that he never sees Reira again.

At that thought, Yuuya swallows. Never see Reira again … That was a part of a timeline long, long ago, when she was killed. Yuuya lived through his middle school and high school years in a dimension without Akaba Reira. And now, even if Yuuya saves her, he might never see her again. Reira will live in a foster home far away from Heartland City. 

Is this the future Yuuya dreamt of? Is this the reality that his choices have created? He’s saved Reira, protected her from the killer … but what will happen to her once she’s free from her mother’s abuse?

“Yuuya,” Reira says.

His eyes dart up. “Y-yeah?”

“How was class today?”

Reira is smiling at him, a sliver of her white teeth showing. Now that she’s looking at him, Yuuya can see the decorative elastics and pins that have pulled back Reira’s hair, revealing a pair of sparkling, periwinkle-blue eyes. Even dressed in Yuuya’s baggy clothes – a striped shirt and a pair of worn jeans – he looks stunning.

They dine together, conversations lively and abundant around the table. There are just enough seats for all of them – for the first time in a while, Yuuya thinks that third seat has been properly filled. 

When dinner is done, Yoko helps them with their winter gear, bundling them up in jackets, scarves, and hats. Reira insists that she doesn’t need a hat – and that she doesn’t need to borrow Yuuya’s – but Yoko still pulls it onto her head.

“You need to stay warm, just like – Yuuya, where did you get those mittens?”

Yuuya looks down at his hands, covered in green, woolen mittens. He realises that he hasn’t come home and shown these to her before. Cheeks reddening, Yuuya answers, “Reira … knit them for me. They’re my birthday present.”

There’s a pause, just long enough for Yuuya’s heart to thud painfully in his chest once, and then Yoko speaks up conversationally, “Well isn’t that considerate of her, considering neither of us know where your other pair of gloves is.”

“V-very.”

Yoko’s eyes glimmer, but she doesn’t say more. She dresses herself up in a coat that reaches down mid-thigh, and that has enough pockets to replace a purse. She doesn't have a scarf, hat, or gloves to wear, and when they step out into the blustery weather she huddles into her jacket. What she does have though is a pair of large rubber boots, ones that make stepping in the snow far easier.

“We really need to get you boots,” she jokes to Yuuya. “Your feet are going to be soaked by the time we get back home.”

Yuuya laughs. “I’ll be grand, Mama.”

Yoko extends a hand to him, fingers outstretched. She reaches out to Reira too, and together the three of them head down the darkening street towards Reira’s house. The further they get away from Yuuya’s house, the gloomier the suburbs become. He and Yoko aren’t rich by any means, but Reira’s neighbourhood is the cheapest in Heartland City, a community on the outskirts of the catchment district for Heartland Academy. 

Walking with Yoko makes Yuuya feel stronger though. Wherever they are going, whatever they are doing, they will remain hopeful and strong. 

To his surprise, when Yuuya spots Reira’s house down the road, there is one light on in the window. It’s the first time Yuuya has ever seen evidence of someone living there. Even Reira seems stunned by the realisation, stopping at her driveway and looking down the path to the door.

“What room is that?” Yuuya asks.

“... mine,” Reira answers after a moment. “Mom must be in my room.”

Anger bubbles in Yuuya’s stomach. He snatches up Reira’s hands, steels his gaze, and marches up the steps with her. However, when they get to the top of the stone stairs, Reira presses a mittened hand to his chest.

“Let me talk to her first,” he says, not meeting his gaze. “That’s my mom in there.”

Yuuya nods solemnly, and waits at the bottom of the stairs. Not a step down is Yoko, leaning against the bannister. The last time Yoko came here, it was when Yuuya wanted to take Reira to the science centre. Yoko told him she’d just been ‘in the area,’ even though there is nothing to do in Reira’s community. Now, Yoko looks to be examining the bleakness of the district.

_ Knock.  _

Reira’s hand hits the door.

_ Knock, knock, knock. _

Reira takes a step back, shoulders rising and falling with his deep breaths.

The door opens a moment later. Himika stands in the doorway, hair in its usual, excessively large rolls. Her long eyelashes frame a pair of striking, icy-blue eyes that narrow when she spots Reira standing the doorway, not raising his head to meet this mother’s eyes. 

“Reira!” Himika says. 

But instead of reaching out to grab Reira, hug her, check in with her, Himika’s face only warps into a sneer, lips pulled back to reveal pointed teeth. Her nostrils flare as she drags in a breath. Up comes one of her hands, raised above her head, fingers spread apart – ready to strike Reira.

“How dare you –”

And Himika looks beyond where Reira stands, to where Yuuya is but a step behind Reira, arms crossed, red eyes burning with hate. Yoko has also stepped up to stand alongside Reira, and she reaches out a hand to touch Reira’s shoulder.

Reira still doesn’t look up.

Himika’s hand lowers, forming a tight fist that she shakes against her side. “You … how  _ dare  _ you? Hiding my daughter –  _ kidnapping  _ her? I’ve been worried sick looking for her since she hasn’t come home in days –”

Like a sword through ice, Yoko asks, “Have you even tried looking for Reira these past three days?”

Himika flinches. Her eyes become slashes across her painted faces; blotchy bruises form on her cheeks as she stumbles over her next words. “What … just what the fuck do you think you’re implying? You’re gonna make me the bad guy here?”

Reira flinches. He takes one step back, shoulder bumping into Yuuya’s chest, when Himika reaches out to snatch him back.

In a flash, Yoko bats away Himika’s hand.

“I’m going to sue you, bitch,” Himika growls. She takes a shuddering breath, like a great beast preparing for battle. In the next second, she hand something in her hand, something with a handle, something that Yuuya can’t quite recognise until it swings at him. Yoko pulls him back at the same time as Reira dashes forward and grabs Himika. Yuuya’s slippery feet stumble on the stairs and he tumbles back into the deep, untouched snow.

Himika has a shovel, the kind used for clearing snow from driveways. It’s out of her hand now though, Reira having knocked it aside when she jumped in to stop Himika. Himika hurries to her feet, pushing Reira back into the house. “Get inside and stay there, you dumbass!” she screams.

A hand settles on Yuuya’s shoulder – that comforting, reassuring presence even in times of panic. Yoko stands next to him, a thin cut along her forehead and slicing through her eyebrow from where the shovel must have clipped her before she fell back. With gentle strength, Yoko pushes Yuuya to stand back behind her.

“Worried, Akaba-san?” Yoko’s lips purse into a tight line. “The only person you care about is yourself.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> while all content warnings listed above still apply for this chapter, i think it's important that i mention this particular chapter features graphic descriptions of physical domestic abuse. please take care of yourself while reading <3

_ _

_ Her face is covered in blood, dripping down her cheeks like tears, pouring out her mouth, nose, any hole in her face including the many cuts and scrapes. With a gurgling gasp, she falls back down the stairs, tripping and landing into the untouched, white snow that at once soaks up the blood. Her frozen face is buried in the snow. _

_ “Mommy!” Reira screams, dashing forward, tripping down the stairs as well. He ends up tumbling into the snow next to Himika, his small hands falling on her shoulders. With a scream, Reira shakes Himika’s left shoulder. “Mommy! Wake up and open your eyes.” _

_ Reira doesn't looking behind him. Back there is a man standing in the doorway, a bald man with emotionless eyes and sneer. He is a man holding a metal bat, stained with blood from having beaten Himika with it when she ran out of the house. Reira has never been hit with that bat, but he still fears it. He holds Himika’s fear in his chest, anxiety bubbling in his throat. _

_ “Mommy, it’s Reira!” _

_ Himika blinks, one blue eyes looking up to see Reira. There is blood on her eyelids and in her long, luscious eyelashes. She coughs as she rises, arms shaking from the cold and fear. She does look over her shoulder, back to the man standing in the doorway with the bat. This time, Reira looks with her. The man isn’t moving, but he’s there, watching them, closing the door on them. _

_ Sniffling, Himika reaches up to rub at her bloody face. _

_ There is blood everywhere – on Himika’s cheeks, on her clothes, on the snow she’s fallen into. _

_ Reira sobs and presses close to Himika, burying his face in her chest. With a groan, Himika’s hand comes to land on his head, not moving, but keeping the thick, violet strands in place. Reira shudders along with his mother, squeezing his eyes closed. The wet snow has soaked through his pants like he’s wet himself – and Reira might have done that too, given how scared and sick he feels – and he only shivers harder. _

_ The next thing Reira knows is that there is someone screaming a ways away, and there are footsteps coming towards him. Reira buries further into Himika’s chest. He must protect his mother, but what can he do against such a big, brutish man? How can he help his mother? _

_ A pair of hands land on his back. _

_ Reira screams so loudly it cracks his vocal cords. “Don’t touch me!” he wails. “Let me go, let me –” _

_ The hands stop touching him. Reira snuggles further into his mother until not moments later someone else – or maybe it’s the same person – touches him, and this time they yank him away. Reira keeps his eyes closed, too scared to open them and see the devilish eyes of that man. He screams and hopes that the person will let him go; he squirms away, kicking and beating at their chests. _

_ “The doctors need to help your mommy,” a female voice says. “My name is Ray, and I’m here to be with you for a bit. I’m taking you to the car to get you cleaned up.” _

_ Reira screams louder, but Ray’s chest is warm and secure, even if it feels so wrong to be held by someone who isn’t Himika. _

_ “It’s really hard for me to talk over you, so I’m just going to keep quiet until you want to talk. I’ll be right here with you.” _

_ This woman is not Himika, not anyone Reira knows, but that voice is better than the deep growl of that man, and for that Reira knows he can trust Ray a little bit more. Whoever Ray is, she is saying she’ll take care of Reira. How much truth is in that, Reira will never know, but for now, so long as Reira keeps screaming, he should be safe. _

_ “My – mommy –” Reira says between sobs and shudders. _

_ “She needed to go to the doctor’s for a bit. If you open your eyes, I can show you where she’s sitting with the ambulance and the paramedics.” _

_ Reira shakes his head. He doesn’t want to see the blood, the bruises, the mess that that man made on the snow.  _

_ “That’s fine, just let me know when you want to see.” _

_ Reira doesn’t. Ray brings him somewhere to sit, a place that must be the car because, when Reira taps his fingers around the surface, he finds something that feels suspiciously like a seatbelt. He must be in Ray’s car, which … is scary, but somehow safer than being in the house with the man. Here, Reira leans back, eyes still squeezed closed, and sniffs back the snot running down his face. _

_ “I have tissues,” Ray says. A ball of tissues is pressed into Reira’s hand; he flinches, pulling away at once so that he doesn’t have to even pretend to look at Ray. He uses the tissues to mop up around his cheeks and nose, though seconds later he’s sniffling and crying again, throwing himself back and forth in the air. His throat hurts from all the noise, but there is little else Reira can do. _

_ “You must be very scared,” Ray says. “I’m here to be with you while your mommy feels better. Later on, I’ll have some questions to ask you, but for now let’s just feel better.” _

_ Reira shakes his head. Nothing will feel better. That man … wherever he is … he took away Himika’s smile. He took away  _ Reira’s  _ smile with his words and his fists. Whenever he spoke, it was too loud; when he touched Reira, it hurt.  _

_ He hurt Himika. _

_ With a moan, Reira leans forward and gags into his hands. He doesn't vomit, but the sound tears at his strained throat and makes him burst into weak, gurgling sobs that show the congestion deep within him. Everything hurts, and no matter what Reira does he won’t feel better. _

_ Ray stays next to him for the entire time, until, after what feels like hours later, she speaks up. “Reira, would you like to go and see your mommy? She’s feeling better right now, and she wants to talk to you.” _

Mommy … wants to talk?  _ Reira’s eyelids flutter, but he squeezes them closed all to quickly and shakes his head. Without his vision, Reira can’t see where he’s trying to stumble to, but before he falls out of the car Ray’s hands catch him and steady him in the snow. Her hands let go of his shoulders, and she takes one of his hands. _

_ “Let’s walk together to go see your mommy.” _

_ Snow crunches under his feet with the first step. Wherever Ray is leading him too, Reira can only follow. Ray must be safe enough to hold hands with, so Reira doesn’t let go and follows Ray through the deep snow. The closer they get to wherever they’re going, the louder it gets: sirens, voices, footsteps. Reira flinches from the noise, but heads on. He needs to see Himika and make sure she’s all right. _

_ After a minute, the snow gives way to the pavement of Reira’s driveway, and the sounds become even louder. It smells like chemicals, and when Reira stretches out his free hand he hits metal. _

_ “That’s the ambulance,” Ray says. “Your mommy is sitting in there.” She takes a few more steps forward, and then stops. “Reira, if you’d like, you can open your eyes. Mommy is sitting outside of the ambulance.” _

_ Reira’s eyes squeeze closed. His mother … where could she even be?” _

_ “Re –” _

_ The voice cracks, but it’s unmistakably her. _

_ His eyes snap open. _

_ Himika is sitting on the edge of the ambulance, legs dangling towards the ground. Her face is wrapped in gauze, and only one eye is visible through the folds. Half of her mouth sticks out too, though her lips are puffy and purple in places. In fact, most of her is puffy. Without the blood, Reira can see the bruises and cuts clearly, slashes across his mother’s beautiful profile. A neck brace holds up her head so that she can’t look down, can’t quite stare directly at Reira. Her arm is wrapped up and in a sling that hugs it across her chest; her fingers stick out, and they are purple in places and stained with blood under her nails. _

_ “Mommy,” Reira whispers, a sob catching in her throat. He steps forward, embracing Himika, careful of the bruises that must be hidden under her baggy shirt and long skirt. Himika looks like a doll broken many, many times. _

_ And still a hand settles on his shoulder, that soft, reassuring presence coming back to him. Like a dry whistle, Himika says to him, “Reira, I’m OK.” _

You’re not,  _ Reira thinks – no, he knows. Himika is hurt. _

_ “I’m OK, Reira. Honest. Mommy just fell.” She coughs, a weak sound that makes her face pinch tight. “That man … we won’t see that man ever again. You won’t be near him anymore. That man is all gone, Reira, and you’re safe. We’re safe.” _

_ Reira nods. Tears leak out of his eyes once more. He nods against Himika’s chest. _

_ His mother’s free hand strokes through his thick, curly hair. “Reira, listen to me please. You only need to listen to Mommy – no one else. From now on, you will just …” Himika coughs again. “You will only listen to me.” _

_ “Yes,” Reira says, voice breaking even over the single syllable. “Yes, Mommy.” _

_ Out of the corner of his eye, he spots red hair and bright, youthful eyes. Who they can belong to, Reira can’t remember, because all he wants to think about is Himika in his arms, breathing against his chest, whispering sweet words in his ears. Reira will protect his mother. He won’t hurt his mother.  _

_ He loves his mother. _

* * *

Yuuya stumbles back against Yoko as Himika swings the shovel once again, aiming for Yoko’s head or arms, or just trying to get them off the property. Meanwhile, Reira clings to Himika, face nestled into her mother’s back. Her two twig arms attempt to pull Himika back, even knock her off of her feet to get her to stop swinging the shovel. Despite the late hour, this scene is bright in Yuuya’s eyes. Like fire, it stings his vision and burns his cheeks.

“Mom!” he screams, but his voice is silent over another, more piercing voice. 

Across from him, Himika swings her body around, dropping one hand off the shovel so she can grab at Reira’ hair and yank her forward. “Let go of me, Reira! What are you fucking doing?” Again, Himika tugs harder on Reira, but no matter what she does Reira never let go. Her hands only tighten around Himika’s waist.

With a guttural growl, Himika leers over her shoulder to glare down at Reira. “Why won’t you listen to me?”

In front of him, Yoko stands with her arms crossed. A thin trail of blood seeps down her forehead and along the bridge of her thin nose. Her eyes though remain stern, the fire in them still incandescent. She doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move from her spot in the snow.

Yuuya’s eyes shift from Himika to Yoko to Reira. Who does he pay attention to? What is he supposed to do?

Himika, having given up on tearing Reira off her back, then turns to face Yuuya and Yoko. She raises a shaking hand and points to both of them. “You!” she screams. “What did you do? What did you tell Reira?” 

She doesn’t drop the shovel in her hands. In fact, she shakes it, knuckles as white as the falling snow that catches on the metal scoop and wooden handle. Behind her, Reira’s face is buried in Himika’s side. His long, violet hair drapes over his pale face. It makes it near impossible for Yuuya to know what Reira is truly feeling, if she even cares for her mother.

“Mrs. Akaba –”

“Fuck you!” Himika’s pointing hand curls into a tight fist that she shakes at them. 

“Mrs. Akaba,” Yoko says, voice level, “stop this. I bet wouldn’t want to see his mother making such a scene.” 

“You’ve made me look like a terrible bitch here!” Brandishing her shovel once more, she holds in out in front of her. “You kidnapped my child, brainwashed her, told her  _ lies.  _ What fucking right do you have involving yourself in my life?” 

“Stop!”

Yuuya’s shoulders shake, his own hands balling into tight fists that quiver at his sides. His stomach burns, his eyes ache. No matter where Yuuya looks, his tears blur out the faces of his mother, his friend, that  _ woman.  _

Yuuya sees Himika.

He sees red.

“Enough!” Yuuya screams again. “You locked her in a storehouse! You don’t take care of Reira. You  _ beat  _ Reira. And when she went missing, you never looked for her, not once!”

Yuuya pauses, waiting for someone to tell him to quieten down, but he’s rendered them silent.

“You don’t care what happens to Reira, and that means he shouldn’t have to defend you. Not once, not ever – you’re nothing.”

And Himika laughs at him. At first, her voice is low, teetering towards insanity. It grows from there like poison in the bloodstream, spreading, toxicating, choking Yuuya from the inside out. Himika’s wild eyes bounce around in her skill, pupils as small as snowflakes. She lets herself hang forward like a marionette with its strings too loose. Behind her, Reira groans as she tumbles closer into Himika.

“A kid like you wouldn’t understand what it’s like to be a parent, a single parent with hardships and burdens. A kid like you wouldn’t understand things like responsibility. Hold your tongue and respect your elders, runt.”

_ Fuck. You,  _ is all Yuuya’s mind can think of.

He readies himself for an attack, preparing for the shovel to once more arc over his head and towards Yoko.

However, what happens next shocks Yuuya. One minute the four of them are the only people out of the house, and the next minute a group of adults in long trench coats are approaching Yuuya, Yoko, Himika, and Reira. At first, Yuuya doesn’t recognise any of them, but realisation slowly dawns on him when he spots one familiar face in the crowd – the one face smiling behind a pair of bright, gaudy frames.

Mr. Heartland.

A man at the front of the group, an older gentlemen with graying hair and drooping, kind eyes, steps forward. “Mrs. Akaba, good evening. We’re from the Maiami City Child Protection Services.”

Himika’s eyes widen, pupils dilating to thrice their size. Her mouth drops at the faces of the child protection workers and at Heartland.

“W-what?”

Another service worker, a woman in her mid-forties with her long, black hair tied up in a large bun, steps up with her colleague. “We’d like to ask you a few questions about your child, Reira.”

Only Himika doesn't focus on them; instead, her vision slides back to Yoko, who has slipped her chilled hand into her coat pockets. Of everyone present, Yoko looks the most at ease. 

“You bitch,” Himika says, voice a low hiss between her pursed, painted lips. She repeats it once more: “You bitch, how dare you. You … you set me up, didn’t you? You damned mother and son, messing in my –”

She drops the shovel just as she steps forward, but before she can get even close to whether Yoko stands, unmoving, the child protection workers block her path with their bodies. Once again, they state that they need to talk to her, and Himika is forced to move away. She doesn't pick up her shovel this time, fingers twitching at her sides.

“How fucking dare you …”

Meanwhile, Reira hasn’t moved away from her mother. Her head remains buried in her mother’s jacket, face obscured. Even when the child protection workers begin talking to calm Himika down – which does not work, only riling her up more and forcing her to step back towards the front door – Reira doesn’t let go of Himika.

“Ma’am –”

The front door swings open.

Eighteen years ago in the first rerun, when Reira was brutally beaten by Himika and her boyfriend, Yuuya never got a chance to see the second murderer. The boyfriend’s face was never revealed, and whenever Yuuya went to Reira’s house he never got to see inside. Now though, the face of the male is visible in the pale moonlight. He looks several years older than Himika, a rough-faced man with no hair atop is bald, veiny head. He has deep-set eyes shadowed by bushy eyebrows. 

The workers notice the man as well.

“Sir!” they say, “can we have a moment to talk to you about matters concerning –”

The man slams the door behind him. However, at once one of the service workers takes off around the back, digging into his pockets to retrieve his cell phone. He hurries around the side of the house, heading into the backyard and where the back door and shed are. Just before the worker disappears from Yuuya’s line of sight, he hears the man say into the phone, “119, I have an emergency.”

Yuuya turns back to Himika and Reira.

“Ma’am,” the service worker tries once more, “we’d like talk –”

“Talking my ass!” Himika reaches behind her and grabs Reira’s shoulders. This time, Himika succeeds in dragging Reira forward. Her hand doesn’t retract from Reira’s bony shoulders, her nails digging into her daughter’s skin. “You don’t want to talk! You don’t even want to listen! If you should be accusing anyone, it’s those kidnappers right there!” She raises a bony finger to Yuuya and Yoko.

“Call the police on them!” Himika says.

The service worker shakes his head. “That’s not our concern, ma’am. We’re here because of your relationship with your child.”

The words draw out a low growl from Himika. “My relationship? How is that any of your business?”

“Ma’am,” the worker continues, “it’s been determined that Reira is in need of protection.”

Like a spark, Himika snaps. “Protection!” she screeches. “I’m Reira’s parent, his guardian. I’m taking care of my child –”

“You didn’t bother looking for your child –”

“She was kidnapped!” 

“– for three days. That is deemed as negligence.”

Once the words are out, a lulls falls over the yard where they all stand. The snowflakes gather on their heads and hands, blanketing them in a reflective silence. Yuuya looks from the worker to his mother to Himika to Reira, and then back to the worker again.

_ Did I hear her right?  _ He thinks.  _ Reira is … going into protection. But then that means …  _

Behind him, Heartland stands with an ear-to-ear grin on his frog-like face. Any other time, goosebumps may have formed on Yuuya’s skin. Heartland always did have quite a peculiar sense of humour. At this moment though, Yuuya only feels a sense of pride from seeing his teacher standing behind the child protection workers. Yuuya’s choices mobilised his teachers efforts – more than saving Reira from death, Yuuya saved Reira from abuse. 

His actions saved her. 

“Ma’am –”

“My daughter was kidnapped,” Himika says. She stares them straight in the eyes and sweeps her hand across her. “You are framing me, you fuckers, all of you! You’re treating me like a criminal when  _ they,  _ those monsters standing over there, kept my own child from me.”

Only her words fall on deaf ears. 

But the silence has not returned. No, just as Himika has stopped screaming, a car pulls forward, and out steps an elderly woman, her red hair rolled up high on her head. She’s bundled in thick layers – jacket, scarf, hat, gloves, all of the items making her like a round marshmallow. Like the workers, Yuuya doesn’t recognise her.

“Himika.”

Himika does though. Her hands slips from their tight grip on Reira’s shoulder, coming to rest at her side. At the same time, Himika’s mouth falls open.

“My dear Himika.”

There’s someone standing across the driveway and at the sidewalk. He can’t see much of her because her hood is pulled up over her head and it hangs over her face like a mask, but her voice … it’s her voice that strikes something in Himika. Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya sees Himika’s back grow rigid and she  _ stares.  _ She doesn’t do anything.

Who … is she?

Himika breaks free from Reira’s grasp and dashes across the front yard, mussing up the once untouched snow. It catches in her feet, holding her back, but still Himika barrels through until she falls to her knees before the slouched figure at the sidewalk.

And then she screams – a deep, guttural, heart-wrenching scream to the innocent snow at her knees. Himika’s wails echo around the neighbourhood and drown the noise of the child protection workers and Heartland by the house, Reira at the steps, and Yuuya and Yoko by the house. They all turn around and watch Himika sob over the figure by the road.

“M-m –” Himika’s words stumble over her lips.

Heartland comes to stand next to her, and he crouches down to lie a gentle hand along Himika’s shaking back. He whispers something to the woman, who then tugs back her hood. She has long, red hair the colour of wine and as vibrant as the sunset. It snakes around her sallow, wrinkled face, fluffing around pink cheeks and rose lips.

“Mama,” Yuuya whispers, tugging on Yoko’s sleeve, “who … is that?”

“Mum!” Himika spits out at last.

The woman stretches out a small, pudgy hand to lie on Himika’s head. It nestles in her curled hair that winds down her back. In smooth, consistent motions, the woman strokes Himika’s head and draws her closer.

“My dear Himika, you’re here. I found you.”

“Grandma,” Reira whispers to him. “Heartland … found my grandma.”

The grandmother kneels down to take Himika in her arms, pressing her face to her breast. She hugs her close as if she’ll never let go, as if neither the wind nor the darkness can take her away. It’s such a sight to behold that Yuuya feels a twinge of sympathy in his heart. That woman – that horrible, abusive woman – has a mother. And it doesn’t erase what she’s done to Akaba, who’s holding her cheek from being swung at, and it doesn’t erase any of the terrible things she’s done in any of the timelines –

For the first time, Akaba Himika seems a bit more human.

Across the yard the grandmother’s voice rings out like an angel: “To raise your child all by yourself … it’s hard, isn’t it, dear Himika? To take care of someone when you yourself have been hurt. I’m sorry I left you after he went away. I’m sorry you’ve been hurt and I wasn't there to help you.”

“N-n –”

“You’ve been alone for so long, haven’t you, dear Himika. All alone inside that house.”

The grandmother falls forward, but her eyes don’t fall on Himika – no, they look beyond her and to the child protection workers across the yard. “Please, do not think ill of my daughter. It’s my fault for this, not hers. Please, help her!”

Yuuya glances at the workers across the field. Would these people … forgive Himika? He’s not even sure he can, not after seeing Reira all those mornings with bruises on her legs.

_ Crunch, crunch.  _

The snow squishes beneath Yoko’s boots as she comes to stand next to Himika and the grandmother. She bends down before both women and, carefully, Yoko lays a hand on Himika’s back. She rubs her hand up and down a few times, humming under her breath. Then she whispers, “In my life, the most important thing to me is my child.” She leans closer; across from her, the grandmother holds Himika upright.

“Mrs. Akaba,” Yoko says, “I want you to remember … the days you cared for Reira.”

Himika keeps sobbing into her mother’s chest, folding herself into the only person who can embrace her. She doesn’t look up or pay attention to when the child protection workers do come over and help her to her feet, or when they begin leading her away. The grandmother follows. Yuuya hears the workers say something about alternative care.

As the adults walk away, Yuuya spots Reira – without her mother or any adult to lean on, she stands, emotionless, in the yard. Her boots sink into the deep snow and the scuffles in the once-untouched surface. Yuuya doesn’t know what to say in this moment, but he thinks he should say  _ something.  _ What can he tell Reira? That it will be OK? That she should keep her head up?

“Thank you, Yuuya.”

It’s Heartland, standing in a dark trench coat lined with fur that still makes him stand out. He’s got a top hat on that shields his eyes, but Yuuya can still see them twinkling. He’s smiling.

“No, thank you, sir,” Yuuya says. “Because of you –”

But Heartland shakes his head. “No, Yuuya, thank  _ you.  _ It was you all along that got the adults to act. It was you that protected Reira all those days before, and even during today.” Heartland lays his hand on his shoulder, looking down at Yuuya with his face aglow in the moonlight. “Because of your courageous actions, you gave us all hope. Your courageous actions resulted in avoiding a tragedy. It’s because of you that Reira is here today.”

Yuuya swallows.

Heartland’s hand tightens on his shoulder. “Reira is safe.”

Yuuya exhales, the breath coming out as a steady gasp. The man before him, his teacher … Yuuya doesn’t have many men in his life that he can trust. He doesn’t know his own father who left when he was a baby. He doesn’t go over to his friends’ houses often, so he’s never met those fathers either. But Heartland is someone Yuuya sees as a father, a man that he’s come to trust and respect. Even with all the hard work Yuuya has done, he still needed to depend on others to help him save Reira. Because of Heartland’s help, Reira is alive today.

Just a few feet away from him stands Reira, looking as if she hadn’t heard their entire conversation. With a huff, she walks away and across the field to where the other adults are standing by the car. Upon squinting in the dark, Yuuya realises it’s because those adults are beckoning Reira over. 

With a swallow, Yuuya realises what’s about to happen.

“Sir, does he …”

Heartland nods. “Why don’t you come say goodbye, Yuuya? I bet Reira would appreciate it.”

Taking Heartland’s hand, Yuuya steps across the yard and to the car the grandmother came from. The grandmother is already inside. Reira stands outside the car though, appearing unsure if she should enter or stand her ground, go or stay –

“Reira.” Yuuya raises his hand to wave. “I …”

She barrels into him, hugging the life out of him. Her shorter legs dangle a bit from clinging to him, and Yuuya leans back so he can take her weight in his arms and hold her close. They’re separated only by the thick jacket Reira’s wearing and the long scarf she has wrapped around her neck. 

“Thank you,” Reira says to him, voice swept up by the wind around them.

Yuuya nods; his throat is too clogged with emotion for him to get out the right words, or even any words at all.

“Thank you,” Reira says once more. “I’ll …” She holds her tongue at that. Yuuya thinks he knows the words she wanted to say.

“I’ll never forget you,” Reira says at last. “Got it?”

Choked up, all Yuuya can do is nod his thanks, his appreciation, his love. 

_ I’ve looked forward to this day, haven’t I? This is a day I never got to see. _

Reira squeezes him tightly once more before she lets go. She stands for a moment longer, her gloved hands holding his. Looking down, Yuuya notices that he too is wearing the gloves … the ones she made for him. Those times, and all the times before and after and in between – he’s been waiting eighteen years to discover those times. 

_ Even if this is the last time,  _ Yuuya thinks,  _ I will treasure it. I’ve waited all these years to see her alive. _

“See you around, Reira,” he says. “Got it?”

Reira nods and gives his hands one final squeeze. Then she lets go and takes a step back, eyes still focused on him. There’s no aura of mystery in her blue eyes – Yuuya knows just what she’s feeling. Then, with a smile, Reira climbs into the car. The adult get into the car as well, and soon the engine roars through the quiet neighbourhood. The lights shoot down the road like beams.

Yuuya swallows when he hears the tires turn on the snow. Slowly, the car begins to drive away.

Someone comes to stand next to him, someone that threads a green scarf around his neck and tugs him close. That someone is special too, someone that Yuuya has saved.

“I’m proud of you, Yuuya,” Yoko says to him.

Through the window in the car, Yuuya can see Reira looking back at him. There’s no mistaking the threads of anxiety on her face – wherever she’s going, she’ll be far, far away from Heartland City and her friends. And still, at the same time she’ll be free. She won’t live with her mother, Yuuya knows that. 

Yuuya pinches his cheeks so that he smiles for him, so that Reira can see one more smile. He ought to be happy for this. 

_ I saved you. _

For the first time, the street is alight with stars and alive with love. When Yuuya looks back to Reira’s house, he sees the footprints in the yard, the light still on in the house. 

It’s a different house now.

His lips quirk into a smile. Pressing his gloved hands together, Yuuya brings them close to his heart. When he closes his eyes, he feels his steady heartbeat, hears his gentle breathing, and thinks of the success he’s made. 

_ Because of your courageous actions, you gave us all hope. Your courageous actions resulted in avoiding a tragedy. _

_ Reira is safe. _


	25. Chapter 25

_ _

_ She’s there! _

_ Yuuya sees her through the window on the second floor of the train station. He peers down into the throws of people on the platform, and even though half the citizens have some manner of bright, ostentatious clothing on, he can still spot her weaving through the crowds in her pink summer dress. _

_ Yuzu. _

_ He hasn’t seen her in ages – it feels like eons ago since he last talked to her. Seeing her in the crowd brings a lump up into his throat, one that Yuuya can’t swallow. He stands at the window, tongue heavy with her name. He should call out to her, bring her back. Is she looking for him? _

_ He  _ needs  _ to see her. _

_ Mind made up, Yuuya turns around and dashes down the hallway. It leads him to a long set of stairs that, no matter how long he runs down it, he never reaches the bottom. He doesn’t see Yuzu again, but in his mind he can picture her disappearing into the crowds, never getting to hear his name again. Yuuya begins screaming in the stairway after her, hoping that something will reach her ears – or anyone’s ears, for that matter. He’s the only one in this long stairway, both the walls and steps an off-putting colour of white.  _

Yuzu, you’re safe!  _ he thinks.  _ You’re OK!

_ But he can’t see her anymore, can’t ask her any of the questions on his mind. _

_ When he’s too tired to run, and too scared to try falling headfirst down the stairs, he stops and sits down on the step. He plants his head in his hands, using his elbows to prop his face up so he can gaze ahead of him. It’s an endless maze of white down there – as far as he can see, there are steps. Only this time the whiteness doesn't remind him of Reira’s house, or of the sky, or even of heaven. No, Yuuya feels an empty place in his heart. _

She’s forgotten me, hasn’t she? 

_ She has. How long has it been since Yuuya lived in 2006? How long has it been since he’s spent a day with Yuzu? In fact, does 2006 even exist? Can he ever return to the time when he lived alone in his studio apartment, drawing manga and delivering pizza? Does that timeline even exist? _

_ With a hard swallow, Yuuya realises just what it means to be in this re-run. Will he have to re-live those eighteen years? _

_ He holds out his hand, fingers splayed before him. He imagines Yuzu at the bottom of those stairs somewhere, eighteen years worth of steps and stairways that he’ll have to travel through … and then what? Will he ever cross paths with her? Has her life changed? Will she been working at Maiami Pizza and studying at MaiamiU? When Yuuya saved Reira, did he change many other fates too? _

_ Yuuya stretches his arm out further, eyes squeezing closed as he pictures holding on tight to her.  _

And then he’s awake, eyes wide open and his arm held out before him. However, instead of Yuzu standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for him, it’s Yoko who’s standing several feet ahead of him. She’s in the kitchen cooking breakfast at the stove. Her long, blonde hair winds in ringlets down her back, and she dressed in a warm sweater and jeans hugging her hips. At his gasp, she turns around, face crinkled in a smile.

“Morning, sleepyhead. How’re you?”

_ I’m … home. _

Yuuya blinks once, twice, as his eyes adjust to the warm, creamy lighting in the bedroom. Sunlight streams through the blinds and down on the futon and sheets. The table is set out with rice and several dishes of cooler foods. Yuuya smells miso soup on the stove too. Yet none of those smells prompt him to rise to his feet. Yuuya glances around unsurely.

“Uh, Yuuya? Aren’t you coming for breakfast?”

Dazedly, he nods. He clambers to his feet and drags himself through the bedroom and up to the kitchen table with three chairs. Yoko has already set out a dish with cucumber and pickles on it, and another one with rolled eggs. She brings round two bowls once he’s seated – one has steaming miso soup, and the other is white rice.

“You look dead-tired,” she tells him, patting him on the back and then rubbing her hand up to his neck. “Sleep well?”

Yuuya nods. He takes a few bites of rice and slurps his soup, but his movements are lazy and his mind can’t be bothered to think about putting food in his stomach. Every bite he takes makes him feel a bit more sick, and after eating only a quarter of his food Yuuya pushes himself from the table and hops down.

Yoko raises an eyebrow to it at once. “Not hungry? What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing,” Yuuya mutters. “I’m just not very hungry today, Mama.”

Yuuya’s eyes flit up to the table. Wasn’t it just yesterday that Reira was sitting at the table with him? Wasn’t it just yesterday that they slept together, ate together, played together? Where are those times now? He’ll never have that much fun again, will he? 

Saving Reira meant losing Reira, didn’t it?

But another thought is on Yuuya’s mind, one that involves a lot more people than just Reira. Eighteen years ago, Reira wasn’t the only one in danger. There were two other kidnappings – Yuuri and Rin – and Yuuma was meant to be the main suspect. Did saving Reira change all that? Yuuya doesn’t think so. When Reira was in the bus, the culprit had the tools to kidnap her. Reira was just lucky and hiding far enough back in the bus.

Yuuya swallows. In the last timeline, four days after Reira went missing, Izayoi Rin was kidnapped. Will that happen again even if child protection services were the ones who took Reira away? That last time, the killer already had preparations. He planned on getting Rin. This time too – the tools are in the bus. Furthermore, in the time that Yuuya has spent befriending Reira and keeping her safe, the killer could have gone after Rin. Yuuya remembers in the reports that this particular serial kidnapper observes his victims before he catches them. 

_ If Izayoi disappears, then a few days later Yuuri will too. Just like last time, the killer will remove himself from the list by killing Yuuri, and he’ll plant a trap that will suspect Hope as the killer. When was that again? … June – three months after Reira went missing. _

The details flow back into his mind. Three months after Yuuri’s kidnapping and death, Tsukumo Yuuma was arrested. Of course, the true culprit stopped the killing spree in Heartland City. He simply disappeared or moved on to another city.

Slowly, Yuuya’s hands curl into fists. Eighteen years ago, those kidnappings were stopped and delayed by TV Heartland. This time though, there’s no case, nothing for the media to focus on. In this timeline, Yuuya has to prevent the kidnappings from happening. He has to save the victims first before the culprit gets to them.

But from there, Yuuya doesn’t know what to do next. Who is he meant to save? What will the killer do now that Reira is out of town? Will he follow her there, or will he stay in Heartland? What can Yuuya do now that he’s saved Reira?

With a heavy sigh, Yuuya looks towards his mother in the kitchen. Yoko stands with a coffee mug nursed in her hands and brought up to her pink lips. She takes a long, slow drink, never breaking eye contact with him. From his spot by the table Yuuya can smell the coffee …

_ “I want to drink it too.” _

Yoko lowers the cup from her lips. “You want to do  _ what  _ now?”

“Coffee, Mama – can I have some?”

She leans her head to the side until it looks like her neck might snap from the position. “You drink coffee, Yuuya?”

“Please?”

At last, she gives up and gives in. Shrugging, she pours him a cup of coffee with milk and sugar, and hands it off to him with one eyebrow raised. Yuuya accepts it with both hands. A slow smile spreads over his face as he holds the steaming mug in his hands. Many years in the future, he would stand by his kitchen window and drink his coffee in silence. Now, Yuuya brings the coffee towards the front window which looks out onto the yard. He stands before it, nursing his drink, and watches the snow tumble down on his lawn.

He can’t see his footprints in the snow.

“Are you OK … Yuuya?” Yoko says at last. Through the reflection in the window, Yuuya can see her standing behind him at the counter.

Yuuya swallows the pit in his throat. There’s someone missing, isn’t there? No, there’s a life he’s missing. He thought when he saved Reira that he’d go back to Yuzu and the future timeline. But now … 

Yuuya takes a sip of the coffee. The taste is stronger than he remembers – he drank instant coffee in the future – and warm against his tongue. It fills a bit of the emptiness he feels within him, but the loneliness doesn’t fade. Somewhere deep in Yuuya’s heart, he thought he’d live his life again. 

This wasn’t the life he dreamed of.

* * *

_ Poke. Poke. _

“I think you actually paid less attention than Yuugo today, and that’s a feat of strength.”

“Hey.”

Yuuya lifts his head. Normally, that sort of comment would at least get a giggle or snicker out of him, but today Yuuya doesn’t have the strength to do more than blink at Yuuri. Yuuri is leaning across the desk at him, poking him with the eraser-end of his mechanical pencil. He looks a little more mischievous today, or maybe it’s just because next to him Yuugo is  _ loudly  _ fuming and whining about how he’ll shove a snowball down Yuuri’s jacket when they go outside.

Even when class ends, Yuuya doesn’t realise it and he doesn’t rise from his seat. He’s not quite sure how he had the energy to get here in the morning, but today he has even less motivation. He just wants to close his eyes and sink into his desk and teleport back home – is that really so hard to ask?

Apparently it is because now that class is done Yuuri is up out of his seat and poking him with his pencil once again. He’s wearing his thick peacoat and hat, bundled up for the winter weather even though they’re still inside. Leaning in close, he says to Yuuya, “Hey, aren’t you gonna get up? Class is done.”

“Sure,” Yuuya says, and makes no motion to get up.

Yuuri sighs. “What’s even got you down, anyways?”

On his other side, Yuugo flops across his desk and moans. “Oh Yuuya, did you fail the test too? I studied  _ hard  _ for like twenty minutes –”

“Yuugo, you studied for twenty seconds before the test was handed out. That’s not even studying – did you really expect yourself to learn anything?”

“Duh,” Yuugo says. He lifts his head, still lying across Yuuya’s desk. “This is fifth grade, not university. The tests should be easier than that.”

_“You’re_ in fifth grade, not university – if you’re gonna pass elementary school, you better start studying.” Yuuri chuckles. “Anyways, that’s unimportant. I doubt Yuuya failed this test because it was _easy_ and all the material was covered in class, so” – he leans closer – “what’s up?”

Yuuya rolls his face to the side and away from his friends. The last people he wants to talk to are Yuugo and Yuuri who will bicker about anything he says. Besides, if Yuuya looks this way he can see the front of the classroom and the one empty desk kitty-corner to him. That desk never used to be so empty. That desk …

“Are you missing  _ Akaba?”  _ Yuuri says, drawling out her name and rolling it sickly-sweet off his tongue. “Aww, how touching! You really did have a crush on her, didn’t you?”

“I knew it!” Yuugo says, fist pumping in the air. “You had a  _ major  _ crush on Akaba, didn’t you?”

Yuuya turns himself further away. Even though both of them know what happened to Reira and why she moved away, neither of them have a shred of emotional sensitivity to not ask him such questions. If anything, Yuuri probably gets off on making Yuuya uncomfortable and situations awkward, and Yuugo doesn’t know anything about awkwardness and just asks so those same questions without a care in the world. They’re his friends, and Yuuya loves them, but today … today he just wants to be sad.

“You did the hero thing though!” Yuugo tells him, clapping him hard on the shoulder. “You saved her and got to say goodbye and everything.”

Yuuya would’ve wished he could have returned to the present time to where Yuzu is, and where he’d see Reira in the future. He wishes he could see everyone again in the future, back in the dimensions safe and sound …

He spreads his arms out, bumping into Yuugo who has yet to get up. These friends of his … these memories he has … he’ll be reliving the next eighteen years of his life over again.

_ Will those eighteen years be without Reira? _

“Yuuya.” A hand settles on his shoulder – a child’s hand. It’s Yuuto, his friend who he can depend on when he’s saddest. “You must miss Reira a lot. You two hung out quite a bit this month, and you’re the one who saved her. It’s all because of you that she can live away and have a happy life but …” Yuuto chews on his lip, contemplating his next words. “I bet it still hurts your heart right now to know that you might not see him for a long, long time.”

Yuuya nods. Yuuto has put into words the pain Yuuya feels deep within him. 

“What you did was right Yuuya, and I’m really happy for you. That doesn’t mean you can’t be sad because you lost a good friend, right?”

Again, Yuuya nods. When he raises his eyes, Yuuto is standing next to him, smiling softly down at him.

“I think,” Yuuto muses, “you brought Reira’s smile back.”

It’s a significant phrase that rings true in Yuuya’s very soul. He can feel sad knowing that he might not see Reira for years, maybe not until he has the time and money to take the train out to see him – but that doesn’t erase the happiness buried in his soul that reminds him of the good he’s done for Reira. He saved a life.

_ Slam! _

The sound makes Yuuya jump out of his chair. Yuuto’s hand falls off his shoulder. They all spin around in their seats to see where the loud noise came from. 

It turns out to be Heartland, their dorky teacher, in the doorway with an abashed smile on his face. He rubs the back of his head and playfully sticks out his tongue. “Everyone’s gone home, haven’t they? How many of you are there now …” He pauses, perhaps to count the heads of the only four people in the room. Then: “Well, looks like it’s just you guys. I forgot to hand out these announcements before the end of class. You all can take them, but …”

Yuuya speaks up: “But what, sir?”

“Well, these are for everyone, Yuuya. I need to get it to them somehow …”

It’s Yuugo who speaks up next, sliding off the desk and standing on his own two feet. “Well, maybe some of them are still getting our coats and jackets on at their lockers. I bet you could catch them before they leave –”

“But will everyone be there?” Yuuri says."Saotome’s like the first person out the door. She’s long gone.”

Heartland slumps further against the door, cheek pressed to the metal latch. “What do I  _ do?”  _ he moans to himself, eyes slipping closed.

The four of them look from one to another.

“Uh, sir,” Yuuya says. “If they’re not in the locker bay like Yuugo said, I … might know where they are. I know where everyone lives.”

Yuuri raises an eyebrow. “How the hell do you know that?”

Yuuya blushes right to the roots of his red and green hair. “Everyone lives pretty close to each other, don’t they? And Mr. Heartland has the contact information anyways. I know who has after school classes too because …” Yuuya rubs the back of his head. “I like to listen to everyone.”

“That’s called eavesdropping,” Yuuri mutters.

“It’s good though,” Yuuto says. 

Heartland seems to have adopted a similar expression as Yuuto. “Yeah, that’s good. Yuuya, would I be able to ask for your help with this? I don’t think I can do it all by myself.”

Just like when Yuuya stood by Heartland and watched him work with the child protection workers, there’s a light, bubbly feeling in his heart. “Sure, sir!”

The plans are made up. Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri head out of the classroom, and Yuuya follows behind Heartland. They head down the hallway, the same elevator, and the same stairs, where they all put on the winter clothes. When they leave the building though, Heartland takes Yuuya aside from the school and to where there is a small parking lot on the east side of the building. Yuuya doesn’t know any of his friends who have a car; Yoko doesn’t even have her license.

From his pocket, Heartland pulls out a ring of keys. Several cutesy charms of manga and anime characters are attached; in fact, they’re from shows that Yuuya has heard his classmates talk about.

“You watch the same shows as us, don’t you, sir?” Yuuya says with a wide smile.

Heartland chuckles. “Adult TV can be so boring, all about news and death and global problems. I’d much rather watch shows that give me hope – wouldn’t you?”

Yuuya nods. “I really like Odd-Eyes Magician.”

Heartland leads him over to a small, beat-up, two-door car. The paint coat isn’t shiny and nothing looks as outstanding as he thought it would be. Yuuya had expected Heartland to drive a pimped-up sports car, something that you could spot for a mile away … but this car is surprisingly modest for such an extravagant man.

After he climbs in, Heartland unlocks Yuuya’s door for him. Yuuya sits in the passenger seat and clicks his seatbelt. Then Heartland starts the car and pulls out of the parking lot. He doesn’t speed or take sharp corners. The ride is smooth and steady down the roads lined with snow. 

“I’m lucky you know so much about your classmates,” Heartland tells him. “I have all their paperwork here in my briefcase, but that doesn’t really tell me  _ much  _ about my students. I kinda wish I could know everyone better.”

His words strike something in Yuuya’s heart. “You want to be friends, sir?”

“In a way,” Heartland says. “I’m your teacher first and foremost, but that doesn't have to be such a stuffy role. I really like getting to know people well. In fact, that’s why I was so proud about your courage to befriend Reira. You took the time to really get to know her, even when no one else in the class wanted to be her friend. That’s an inner strength, Yuuya.”

“Thank you, sir.” Yuuya’s cheeks grow red.

However, Heartland isn’t smiling. “Yuuya, about Reira …” He pauses, smacking his lips together as if thinking through his next words. “Reira’s mother and the man in the house won’t see her for a long time. Their parental rights were suspended by child protection services, and they won’t have access to her for several years, and perhaps never again. What happened in that home has been confirmed: Reira was physically and emotionally abused by her mother and her mother’s boyfriend.”

It doesn’t hurt to hear those words, at least not the hurt that makes Yuuya flinch. He’s happy to hear those words not swept under the rug. Now that the police and child welfare are involved, Reira will be taken care of.

“There are some concerns about Reira’s grandmother being her guardian though.”  _ Tap, tap, tap.  _ Heartland’s finger bounce along the steering wheel. “Some people are worried that her grandmother won’t give her the best care. What do you think?”

“I think Reira should be with her family and friends,” Yuuya says. He thinks back to his future life where he was all alone. “It’s … sad to be all by yourself.”

“I agree. If Reira were sent to foster care, she would have to live in a strange town and with a different family. I’d like to avoid that at all costs, all right?” He turns his head to smile at Yuuya. 

Once more, Yuuya’s heart beats a victory song in his chest. “Mr. Heartland, sir … thank you.”

“Hm?”

“Not only for helping me save Reira, but for … believing in me, for saying, ‘Because of your courageous actions, you gave us all hope. Your courageous actions resulted in avoiding a tragedy..’ I felt really happy when I heard that.”

Heartland doesn’t jump on his words. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel and leads the car down a side-street into one of the Heartland City suburbs where there are barren trees along a sidewalk. 

“You’re saying some rather mature words, Yuuya. I can tell you’ve really thought this through, and that you gave it your all to protect Reira.” Chuckling, he adds, “Someone once told me to ‘Have hope,’ and I have a lot of hope in you.”

“Sir –”

“But” – Heartland raises a finger – “having hope is more than just saying those cheery words. Having hope means taking action. It’s easy for someone to just say something and do nothing about it. But you though …” Heartland taps his chin. “I don’t know if it makes sense when I say this, but I don’t think those actions just resulted in avoiding a tragedy. That makes it sound like fate was in play, and I think you were pretty deliberate about what you were doing. How about … return?”

“Sir, that doesn’t even make sense …”

Heartland laughs. “I know, I know. That’s why I’m glad I didn’t say it. But it’s true, isn’t it? Your act deserved a return. Your act made it so that many, many more returns can happen, that Reira can keep living away from her mother, that Reira can return to a happy life.”

He takes a hand off the wheel to touch Yuuya’s shoulder. “You wanted to return Reira’s smile, didn’t you?”

“I … did.”

Heartland then pokes his cheek. “And you’re smiling too! I got my return as well!”

Yuuya laughs outright.

After that, Heartland parks on the side of the road and tells Yuuya to get out of the car and come help him go door-to-door to deliver the announcements. When students open the door, Yuuya smiles and waves to them. He might not know all his classmates well, but even these small moments tell him more and more about his classmates, like how half of them are already in their pyjamas before five pm. Each time they open the door, it’s a new surprise.

When he’s with Heartland, time flies. They drive around the blocks meeting familiar faces and joking. Yuuya doesn’t realise that time has gone by until he begins shivering walking back to the car, and he has to zip up his jacket all the way to his neck. The sky is aglow with stars, just like that last night with Reira.

“Cold, are you?” Heartland says, motioning to Yuuya’s hands tucked into his armpits. Even with Reira’s gloves on, it’s freezing. “Let’s head back to the car.”

Yuuya nods, teeth chattering inside of his mouth. When he and Heartland get in the small car, the first thing they do is crank up the heat and wait for the warm air to blast their frozen faces. Then Heartland pulls out onto the road and begins driving again. His briefcase is empty – all the papers have been distributed without a single problem.

“Thanks again, Yuuya, for helping me out. I really appreciate this.”

“No problem, s-sir,” Yuuya says, wincing at the shiver that runs down his spine. 

_ Tap, tap, tap.  _

“By the way, Yuuya …” Heartland briefly glances over to him, peering over his wide-rimmed glasses. “Did Reira stay at your house all those days?”

Yuuya blinks. “Sorry?”

“Before I went to Reira’s house and before she was taken away, Reira wasn’t coming to class. She wasn’t at home either. Was she staying with you?”

“No, the shelter.”

“Shelter?”

Yuuya realises he’s slipped up. However, Yuuya knows he can trust Heartland. He sticks his hands between his legs to warm them up, and then says, “Yeah, a secret shelter. When I knew Reira wasn’t safe at home, I … kidnapped her. I locked her in the abandoned bus at Neo Domino Elementary – they don’t use it anymore because they bought a new one.”

Heartland chuckles. “Heh, that’s a good place.”

Yuuya wants to voice up the fact that he just admitted to  _ kidnapping his classmate,  _ but if Heartland doesn’t seem bothered by it, should Yuuya be? 

Yuuya leaves it and chuckles along. “Yuuto found it, actually.”

“So it wasn’t just you then?”

“It … was my idea,” Yuuya admits. “But I couldn't have done this all by myself. I needed help. Yuuto is my best friend and someone I could trust to help me.” With a small smile, Yuuya adds, “I’m glad I trusted him.”

“It’s a good idea, Yuuya. I’m impressed.”

Brightening, Yuuya says, “Well, we needed a place to hide Reira where he wouldn’t be found.”

Heartland places a finger to his lips. A slow smile spreads across his face, splitting and tugging at the pale skin. “So only kidnappers like you would go there then?”

_ Urk.  _ Yuuya remembers the kidnapping tools that Yuuri dumped out of the backpack, and how Reira told them about someone coming into the bus late at night. This time, Yuuya has to force out a laugh. It sounds strained even to his ears, so he covers it up with, “That makes me sound like a criminal, sir … but yeah, that was the plan.”

Yuuya glances up, but his eyes fall short of meeting Heartland’s. There’s … something sticking out of the glove box. It’s the corner to something plastic, like a wrapper or a tag.

“What’s …” Yuuya pulls open the glove box.

“Yuuya, don’t –”

It’s too late.

Wrapped lollipops and candies spill out across his lap and on the floor. There must be at least one hundred inside the car, all different colours and flavours and styles. Yuuya hasn’t seen this much candy even on Halloween programmes. His eyes widen; his head shakes from Heartland to the candy, Heartland to the candy –

“You’ve … seen them.” Heartland’s voice has grown cold and soft.

“S-sir –”

Heartland reaches down to grab three lollipops. While he uses his knees to hold the steering wheel, he rips off all three wrappers at once. Then, with a grimace, shoves the three candies in his mouth. The white paper sticks poke out between his lips. His cheeks even bulge from the candies, making him look even more like a great, goofy toad.

“Now that you’ve seen them,” he says around the candies in his mouth, “you might as well be my accomplice and eat them too.”

Yuuya blinks. “E-eat –”

“A few years ago I quit smoking, but the habit is still there. When I’m in public I can quell the urges, but when I’m alone, driving in my car, hanging out around my house, I just can’t calm down and focus. It’s embarrassing, but this is my solution.”

When Yuuya doesn’t grab a candy, Heartland puts a handful in his lap. Winking, he says, “Don’t make this any more awkward than it already is. You found my secret – you might as well enjoy eating the candy.”

And so Yuuya laughs, covering his mouth to muffle the sound. Heartland’s cheeks are cherry-red and he doesn’t watch as Yuuya opens up two of the coloured lollipops and pops them in his mouth. While Yuuya suckles on them, Heartland crunches through the candies. On the car ride back to Yuuya’s house, Heartland eats twelve lollipops.

_ What a goof,  _ Yuuya thinks, but it makes him smile.

The car pulls over in front of Yuuya’s house. The lights are on and Yuuya already knows dinner will be waiting for him. When he comes home, Yoko is there to greet him and lead him inside. No matter where he is in this timeline, he’s surrounded by friends – people that love and care and trust him.

He climbs out of the car and turns around to thank Heartland.

Heartland beats him to it. “Thank you for your help today.”

“Thank  _ you,  _ sir, for all you’ve done.”

Heartland winks. He presses his finger to his lips, and says, “Remember, keep the candies a secret.”

Yuuya chuckles. “I will, I will.” Another wave, another bright smile to the glowing world around them. “See you, sir!”

Spinning on his heels, Yuuya dashes up towards his house. His heart is alight and his mind giddy. He bursts through the door and steps onto the genkan. Ahead of him, Yoko sits at the table nursing a cup of tea and flipping through a magazine. When she sees him, she nods her head towards the kitchen where dinner is awaiting. Yuuya can smell cooked beef and stewed vegetables, and their is a tail of steam coming from the rice cooker.

“Welcome back, Yuuya,” Yoko greets.

Yuuya smiles widely. He kicks off his shoes and drops his backpack by the door. While Yoko dishes up the food, Yuuya takes his place across the table from her. He licks his lips when she brings over his plate and bowl of rice, but he holds back until she’s seated as well and they can dine together. They both eagerly dig into their meals; there is no conversation for the first few minutes because both of their cheeks are full.

“I saw your teacher’s car out there,” Yoko says at last.

Yuuya’s ears burn. “H-how do you know that’s my teacher’s car?”

“I’ve seen it around,” Yoko says, rolling her eyes from side to side. “He’s a weird, stand-out guy, yet he drives a beat-up car like that.”

Yuuya chokes on his food, one hand flying to his mouth while the other reaches for his glass. He takes a deep, greedy drink before setting it back down and wiping his mouth on his wrist.  _ “Mom,” _ he chastises at last, “we don’t even have a car.”

“Doesn’t mean I can’t judge his,” she says, and takes another bite of her meal.

“... You’re right,” Yuuya says at last. “It is a pretty old car.”

After dinner, Yuuya washes the dishes while Yoko flips through her magazine. From time to time Yoko asks him about school, about hanging out with his friends. She doesn’t mention Reira though. In a way, Yuuya is glad. He had so much fun delivering papers with Heartland that he’d forgotten that he normally walked how with Reira; now that he’s back home, an empty feeling grows in his heart.

He misses her.

Wiping his damp hands on his jeans, Yuuya hops down from the sink. He heads into the bedroom and crouches by the mirror on the wall. He doesn’t want to see his reflection – not necessarily – but the goggles atop his head. In the mirror the two eyepieces are visible. One of them has a blue star on it, making it impossible for him to see through if he ever wanted to wear them.

He reaches up a hand to pull them down and off his head. They dangle around his neck, eyepieces clacking together like a musical instrument.

_ Odd-Eyes Magician,  _ Yuuya thinks. 

_In the show on TV, Odd-Eyes Magician has a family. He fights for his family, his friends, and the worlds around him. But when the war starts getting worse and the worlds depend on him the most, Odd Eyes distances himself from his friends and family. He tries_ _to bear the duty all on his own. It’s not because he dislikes them – no, it’s because he loves them so much that he stays away from them. But the more he tries to protect them, the further away they become._

_ That’s … a return, isn’t it? Back then, I didn’t trust in my friends or my family to help me. Even in my first re-run, I tried to do everything by myself.  _

_ And I failed. _

_ This time though, I let them help me. If it weren’t for Mama, Yuuto, Yuuri, and Mr. Heartland, Reira wouldn’t be alive. It was because of their courage too that Reira is safe with her grandmother and away from her mother. I think, back then though, I was attracted to being the sole saviour. I wanted to be the hero, the ally of justice. _

_ But … there can be more than one ally of justice. There can be more than one hero. _

Yuuya twirls his fingers round the goggles, fingers tracing the detailing along the eyepieces and the metal that binds them together. 

_ However, there is hope that is lost. I did not get everything back. Odd-Eyes Magician lost those that were closest to him too.  _

_ I don’t think I’ll ever return to the year 2006. That year no longer exists for me. I am here, as Sakaki Yuuya, wanna-be mangaka and entertainer. I changed the future so much that I don’t think I can ever return to that time.  _

_ I don’t regret it. I don’t want to re-run and change the choices I made. Because of my actions, I saved a life. Because of my actions, I made friends and enjoyed myself. I’m a different person because of what I’ve done. That means … that means my future will be different. I can’t predict it anymore, but I think, no matter what, I can’t return to the year 2006. _

_ No matter what happens, I’ll never see Yuzu again. _


	26. Chapter 26

_ _

_ Of course I’m aware I’m acting blank. Of course I’m aware I’m empty inside. _

“Yuuya? Yuuya, you’ve spaced out all class again. You gonna get up out of your seat?”

_ I did the right thing – I saved Reira. How come then … Why do I feel so sad? _

“Send a letter to Akaba – a love letter!”

“He doesn’t even have Akaba’s new address, Yuugo. For all we know, Akaba is halfway across the dimensions.”

“Well then  _ fine,  _ Yuuri, he can take the bus to go see her.”

“You don’t listen to a word I say, do you?”

Yuuya sighs. There’s a festering feeling in his gut. This can’t be the end of the mystery, can it? Is he really meant to just keeping on living through this timeline, forgetting those other eighteen years of his life in Maiami City? Are those memories … erased? Those aren’t thoughts Yuuya wants to indulge. He needs to figure out what to do next. He needs to, he needs to …

Someone begins walking away from his desk with several light footsteps. “Well, I don’t care about y’all, but I’m not hanging around the school any longer than I need to.” It’s Yuuri, shouldering his backpack. Since it’s rather cold in the classroom, Yuuri is dressed up for the winter weather in his peacoat and scarf. He’s halfway to the door when Yuugo speaks up.

“Hey, where’re you going?”

“What’s it to you?” Yuuri rolls his eyes. “The centre, if you must know. We have homework –”

Yuugo’s mouth drops. “We have homework?”

Yuuri’s right eye twitches, pupil growing smaller. “Mr. Heartland  _ just  _ told us that. I can’t believe you sometimes –”

But Yuuya doesn’t cling to their argument. No, his eyes widen when he realises Yuuri will be going to the children’s centre alone, and his heart leaps into his chest. If he needs to keep living in this timeline, he needs to protect the other two victims as well. The killer might still be in town; Yuuri shouldn’t be left alone.

Raising his hand, Yuuya stumbles out of his desk. “Yuuri, wait! I wanna come with you.”

Once more, Yuuri’s eyebrow twitches. “This isn’t some field trip, guys.”

Yuuya holds up his other hand then. Smiling through a bright blush, he says, “I need to do my homework too, and I bet we’ll both get it done faster if we work together.” When that doesn’t prompt a snarky remark from Yuuri, Yuuya gathers up his books and slips them inside his backpack. He hikes his backpack up on his shoulder; unlike Yuuri, his winter clothes are still in his locker.

While Yuuya gets ready to go, he misses an expression on Yuuto’s face. In fact, he doesn’t spot it until Yuuto calls his name, and he sees his friend pursing his lips. Yuuto looks deep in thought by the way he keeps his eyebrows pressed into his eyes and his face pinched tight. 

“Yuuya … you’re acting like Yuuri’s guardian now.”

At the door, Yuuri scoffs. “No he’s not –”

“He  _ is,”  _ Yuugo says, probably just to grate on Yuuri’s nerves even more. He chuckles behind his hand, a tittering sound that makes Yuuri’s face go as pink as his bangs.

However, Yuuya plays it cool, ignoring his friends’ bickering. He keeps one hand on the door handle and looks over at Yuuto. “Is that so?” he says, voice even.

Yuuto’s lips become a thin, even line etched on his ghostly face. “Can I have a moment with you, Yuuya?”

Those words mean something is up. Yuuya  _ knows  _ it. However, if Yuuto is asking specifically for him, it must be because Yuuri and Yuugo can’t hear anything about it. Yuuto must want to talk about what happened with Reira, or what might happen with Yuuri, or … 

Would Yuuto know about Yuuri? He wouldn’t. He must be trying to figure something out then, put the puzzle pieces together to understand what Yuuya knows that no one else does. Yuuya knows that he can trust Yuuto with whatever he shares. Yuuto is his ally, his friend.

Yuuya nods to Yuuto. He then turns to Yuuri. “Hey, go on ahead without me. I’ll be there to study with you, but I just need to talk to Yuuto about something.”

Pausing in his argument with Yuugo, Yuuri shrugs. “Whatever, I’m not waiting around for you.” He shoves his hands in his pockets, flips off Yuugo for good measure, and then pushes open the classroom door. He leaves without a goodbye to any of them, but Yuuya knows that Yuuri means it. Yuuya watches Yuuri go, and then watches Yuugo hurry down the halls.

_ Yuugo won’t go with Yuuri,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ The two of them can’t study together, and Yuugo wouldn’t go to the children’s centre unless he wanted to play games. _

Still at Yuuya’s desk, Yuuto waits for him. When they are the only two left in the classroom, they leave together. However, they don’t travel far – just to the end of the hallway and into the stairwell where it’s quiet enough that they can talk in private, but not too private that they might be seen as suspicious. Neither of them take a seat; Yuuya stands at the top of the staircase, across from Yuuto who leans against the wall and the handrail.

Then Yuuya waits.

Yuuto doesn’t speak for several moments. His eyes narrow with each second, but it’s hard to read his face. See, Yuuto is the type of person that Yuuya is never quite sure what he’s feeling. He knows he isn’t in trouble, and that whatever Yuuto wants to talk about will probably be related to what’s going on with Reira. However, that doesn’t erase the seeds of anxiety in Yuuya’s gut.

At last, Yuuto speaks up.

“Yuuya.” He swallows. “What is actually bothering you?”

Yuuya reaches up to rub the back of his head. “Ah, nothing much –”

Yuuto sniffs, and even such a whisper of a sound shuts Yuuya up. He shouldn't lie to Yuuto, not to his friend.

“Yuuya, last week I saw determination in your eyes. You wanted to protect and save Akaba. You didn’t give up, not once, and you made sure that in the end she could live happily, even if that meant she would move away from us.”

Yuuya slides his hands into his pockets, gazing down at his feet. “I’m sorry I’ve been so down recently. I guess I am kinda mopey –”

“Yuuya.” Yuuto’s gaze pierces him and forces him to look up. “That’s not what I want to ask you about. What I’ve noticed … what I’ve seen … There’s a great sense of incompatibility with the way you’re acting even though things have gone well. You can be sad all you want, but back in the classroom with Yuuri was strange. That’s not like you to want to hang out with Yuuri. Back then, the only time you did that was to ask him to watch Reira for you.”

He can’t fight those words. What Yuuto has said is right, and Yuuya ought to be proud that his friend is so observant. 

Yuuya nods in reply, and says, “Right, I guess I should be more relieved that my actions saved Reira regardless of it taking him away from us. But the tension is still there, just a bit. It’s a tension that makes me think I’ve let my guard down.”

“‘Let your guard down,’ huh?” Yuuto repeats. “That means something else will happen, right?”

Yuuya nods, eyes slipping back to the ground. The stairwell is too quiet at this hour, and though neither of them are speaking at more than a conversational tone, their booming voices bounce against the walls. What if someone was at the bottom of the stairwell, listening in on them? What would they hear? What would they do? The more Yuuya thinks, the sweatier his palms become. 

“Just as I thought.”

Yuuto’s words are a knife through Yuuya’s heart.

Yuuto seems to catch this too, for he winces afterwards and takes a step closer to Yuuya, shrinking the distance between them. “Does it bother you that I asked that, Yuuya? Does it bother you that I too don’t want to give up on this case halfway?”

A flicker of a smile grows on Yuuya’s lips. He shakes his head. “… no,” he says after a moment. “It doesn’t. But Yuuto, how long have you known?”

Yuuto taps his bottom lip with his pointer finger, rolling his eyes up to the high ceiling in the stairwell. When he looks down a few moments later, he twists his lips from side to side. “I think it was when I saw you throw that stone at Tsukumo’s house.”

_ Right – Yuuto was there that night too. Yuuto must know then that someone in that house is connected then. _

One of Yuuto’s hands clenches tight in a fist. “There’s a young man in that house, the son of the Tsukumo Foods’ owner, who is always playing card games by the river. He’s that dorky looking guy who looks like he should be working when he isn’t. I don’t see him anywhere but by that river bank, but sometimes …” Yuuto eyes grow solemn. “Sometimes, he isn’t at the river bank by himself. Sometimes he's with other children. Sometimes Akaba is there.”

_ … huh? _

Yuuto continues, still with that smoldering look that could burn down a forest: “Before I started hanging out with you after school, and before the two of us saved Akaba, I used to keep an eye on him. He was suspicious, like someone who stood out a little too much in the world. When you told me you wanted to save Akaba, I didn’t think you meant from her mother. I thought you meant from Tsukumo. There’s something wrong with an adult sitting at the river every day playing with trading cards and hanging out with elementary school –”

“Yuuto!” Yuuya snaps. 

Yuuto looks up from this thoughts and blinks. At once, his expression becomes more sheepish and humble, and he tucks his chin down into his chest. “Ah, sorry. I guess I made a leap of logic.”

Yuuya has never seen this expression on Yuuto before. Did he … scare Yuuto? He shakes his head to get rid of any look that might have made Yuuto afraid, and then brushes down his wild hair. “It’s fine,” Yuuya says. “I’m just … a bit surprised. You were right about some things, Yuuto, but about others …” Yuuya lets the words dangle from his lips for a moment, choosing to glance up at Yuuto. “That day when you stopped me at the overpass, when I was going to push Akaba’s mom down the stairs – if I failed to assault Akaba’s mom, there’s a possibility that the guy on the river bank, Hope, could be in trouble. No, sorry, not a possibility – other than Akaba Himika, Hope was the other prime suspect for Reira’s abuse.”

“So that’s why you gave that card game guy an alibi.”

“Hope,” Yuuya says, “and yes, that’s why. I know a little bit about him, and it’s enough for me to know for certain that he would never hurt Reira. All he was doing on the river bank was providing her some company. When we kidnapped Reira that night, he was still a suspect. However, he had an alibi for that night, and so the police couldn’t keep him as a suspect anymore.”

These words should bring a sense of peace to Yuuto’s features, but instead he only becomes more stern-looking. “But wait, then doesn’t that mean the case is closed? Akaba is away from his abusive mother. Akaba’s mother is not even in Heartland City anymore, at least that’s what I heard in the news. And that guy that you’re talking about – he never was and never will be a suspect. Doesn’t that mean everything in the case has been wrapped up?” Biting his lip, Yuuto adds, “Yuuya, if something is bothering you, why won’t you tell me?”

“I don’t know.” It’s the honest truth, and that’s what Yuuya can say. “I don’t even know how I can put this into words …”

_ How do you tell your friend that you’re from the future and that it’s likely that the killer will go after his other two victims, Tenjouin Yuuri and Izayoi Rin? _

“Yuuto, how about when I know what to say, I’ll tell you?” Yuuya holds out a hand, fingers outstretched. “I can promise you that.”

Yuuto takes his hand with a smile. “Sure.” 

When Yuuya holds Yuuto’s hand, he can’t curl his fingers over Yuuto’s. Yuuto’s hand is larger than Reira’s, and his nails are small, blunt crescents instead of nibbled down to the skin. It’s a different feeling, but it’s altogether heartwarming to be so close to Yuuto.

“Hey,” Yuuya says, not quite ready to let go. “How can you think like that? I mean, how can you think like a detective?”

With a laugh, Yuuto drops down onto the steps. He tugs Yuuya along with him, and the two of them sit side-to-side, shoulder-to-shoulder in the otherwise-empty stairwell. Now that some of the tension has cleared up, this place doesn't seem so suspicious and creepy. Yuuya lets himself relax and lean back.

“Sometimes, Yuuya, you sound really childish.” 

“Do I?” Yuuya asks, but he pauses when he realises he’s talked over Yuuto. “Wait, what?”

“A lawyer,” Yuuto says. “That’s what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be an ally of justice even when I’m older – it’s why I was so proud when I heard you say those words. It’s important to me too that I defend and take care of the people who are important to me. Just like …” His voice petters off for a moment. “Just like my dad.”

Yuuya doesn’t know much about Yuuto’s dad. He knows as much about Yuuto’s dad as he knows about anyone else’s dad, or his own dad for that matter. Yuuto doesn’t talk much about his family life, so this is new news for Yuuya. Even eighteen years in the future, Yuuya never knew much about his friends. Because of the conversations he’s had and the friends he’s made though, Yuuya’s learnt new things about his friends.

A warm smile crosses Yuuya’s face. “You already know what you want to be, Yuuto?”

“I have some reasons why.” He turns to Yuuya, a smirk tucked into the corner of his cheek. “Some of those reasons have to do with you.”

Yuuya’s eyes widen. “Me?”

Sighing, Yuuto leans back on the steps, propping himself with his elbows. “My dad is defending a suspect in a murder case that happened in City, that town over with all the motorcycles. This happened early last year, so a while ago, but it’s a big case. However, that’s not important. What is important is what my dad has told me. Apparently the defendant denies his involvement in the case and has been pleading innocent, yet the verdict to this day has been ‘guilty and sentenced to life imprisonment.’

“The victim was a ten year old girl, in fourth grade at the time. The suspect is her father. My dad is convinced of the man’s innocence because of his integrity gained from many interviews and testimonies, but no matter how much this case is investigated, the evidence always points to the girl’s father. The father feels cornered because of it. He’s stuck and framed, or so my dad thinks.”

Kicking his feet out along the steps, Yuuto says, “Dad tells me again and again, ‘There must be something wrong here …’”

Yuuya swallows. This case, it’s familiar …

“Even though that man’s dear, precious daughter was murdered, he got framed as the criminal. I can’t forgive anyone who would do such a terrible thing to a parent, nor can I forgive how cruel Dad’s friends are being. They won’t talk or interact with him because he’s defending a criminal. They don’t believe him.

“That’s why, when I found out you were trying to save Akaba all by yourself, I knew I needed to step in. No, not just that – I wanted to step in. I wanted to help you too.” Yuuto looks up at him, cheeks now puffed out in a bright smile. “I’m very happy to know that, back then when you threw the rock in Tsukumo’s window, it was to protect someone you trusted. Back then, and even now, I’m glad I trust you, Yuuya.”

_ Thump.  _ It’s the sound of Yuuya’s heart slamming into his lungs, forcing him to sit up rigid-tight. Yuuto – what did he just say?!

“Today,” Yuuto continues, “Dad still fights for that father wrongly accused of murdering his daughter. Dad fights for the sake of that man even though all of his friends have deserted him. But I believe in the innocence of that man, and I believe in Dad. Did you know, Yuuya, that there are many more cases like these – cases of wrongly-accused child murderers? I’m going to solve those cases someday. My dad can’t burden all this on his own, and what you’ve done for Akaba has only spurred me into taking action.”

Yuuto sits up and claps his hands together, still sporting that same effortless smile. Yuuya wishes he had a camera to photograph the joy and passion he sees on his friend’s face.

“That’s why I want to become an ally of justice. If there’s a next time, if there’s another clue – please, Yuuya, take me to it. I want to believe you. I want to  _ help  _ you.”

And after such a compelling, heartfelt speech, one that has left Yuuya’s mouth dry and his eyes wet, one that has emotions spinning through his head – after everything that Yuuto has say, all Yuuya can do is smile with his heart on his sleeve. What Yuuto has told him is information he never would have learned without becoming close to him. What Yuuto has told him in precious.

_ Eighteen years ago, Yuuto, it was you that testified against Tsukumo “Hope” Yuuma. It was you, wasn’t it? Back then, you were still trying to be a hero of justice, and you saw a strange man sitting with a young child. But your justice was misplaced, and it led to an innocent man’s arrest. I guess because of your family background and your father being a lawyer, your testimony was better than mine. That’s why the police didn’t believe me. _

_ I’m glad, in this timeline, that we can be heroes of justice together.  _

_ “The two of us make a good team, don’t we?” _

Yuuto laughs outright, startling Yuuya. “You said that out loud, did you know that?”

“I – wait –”

“We do make a good team, don’t we?”

_ Phew, that’s all he heard.  _ Pretending to brush sweat off his brow, Yuuya laughs along with Yuuto. 

It’s Yuuto who sobers first though, leaning forward to rest his elbows against his knees. He stares between his legs at the steps, as if deep in thought once more. “About that case my dad is working on – I’ve never seen any of the case files or heard any of the testimonies and alibis, so all I know is either what the news has published or what my dad has told me. But I can tell you about it, if you’d like.”

Yuuya leans forward as well, mimicking the same posture as Yuuto. He cups his head in his hands, making sure to give his full attention. “I’ll listen to you, Yuuto.”

“Very well.” Yuuto raises a fist to his hand to clear his throat, and then begins: “The case is based in City, Synchro Dimension, and is from September 1986. The victim’s name is Amanda, a fourth-grade, ten year old girl. She was living with her single-parent father, Crow, in state-run public housing. Her father worked long hours and lots of night shifts.

“On the day of the crime, Crow went to a pachinko shop, as was his usual habit, at a little after one p.m. Amanda would still be in school. Normally, Crow would stay at the pachinko shop and Amanda would hang out after school with her friends, and both of them would return home at six pm for dinner. Then, once they dined, Crow went to work a little after seven p.m. He returned home at 6 a.m.

“When he came home, he found his daughter’s dead body lying in the bathroom. At once, he called the police and reported the murder. Once the police came, they examined the scene and the body. It was determined that Amanda died from carbon monoxide poisoning from a handmade coal briquette stove. The killer locked Amanda in the bathroom by taping the door shut from the outside and sealing all the cracks along the sides of the door. The windows had been previously taped from the inside. There were no fingerprints on the body, the room, the handmade stove, or the tape. The police could only find fibers from cotton work gloves.

“When the body was later examined for causes of death other than carbon monoxide poisoning, sleeping pills were found in the girl’s stomach. The same prescription was on Crow’s bedside table; he took them because it was difficult to sleep in the early hours of the morning. The handmade stove was also found in the house.

“First the police suspected Crow as a material witness, and then he was arrested for the murder of Amanda. When this information got out to the mass media, all sorts of twisted, terrible stories emerged. Crow was painted as a gambling addict and a deadbeat father who left his daughter alone while he went to go play pachinko slots. In an interview with a neighbour, they claimed that one time Crow made a remark about having to fix meals for Amanda every day.”

Yuuto holds up a finger. “But here’s what’s wrong with that. Crow wasn’t in debt and was far from it. He and Amanda were poor and lived in a poor district of City, more commonly known as the Commons – but Crow wasn’t recklessly gambling. The information the neighbour provided can never be proven as true, so it’s unreliable. While an article claimed that many people misuse sleeping pills, Crow himself only took the recommended dosage and used it only for sleeping. He wouldn’t have given them to his daughter. All this information and misinformation …” Yuuto taps his knees. “Anyone who looked into the family could have pulled this off and frame Crow.”

“Yeah …”

_ Coal briquette … Where have I seen one of those before …  _

“Yuuto,” Yuuya says after a moment. “What if that wasn’t a coincidence? We’ve seen one of those briquettes before, haven’t we? In the bus we hid Reira in, the killer had hidden his tools there. He stored a coal briquette in one of the boxes.”

“But didn’t Akaba say that the killer just dropped off the backpack?”

“Right, but that doesn’t mean the killer hasn’t been storing his equipment in that bus before we moved Reira there. What if the killer is still hiding out in Heartland City? What if the killer is on the move here?”

Yuuto’s eyes shine in the stretches of sun through the large, bay windows. “I think you’re onto something,” he says at last, “but we can’t go to the bus without Yuuri. We need to pick him up from the children’s centre first, and then all three of us will go. Got it?” Yuuya stands and holds out a hand.

Yuuya takes it and gets to his feet. “Got it.”

They take the stairs all the way down, too anxious to bother going back up and to the elevator. Yuuya hasn’t taken the stairs in ages, and halfway down he can already feel his lungs burning from exertion. Just ahead of his is Yuuto, equally winded. Apparently neither of them thought this idea through. However, when they get to the bottom they hurry on to the lockers, yanking on their winter gear.

The icy wind that meets them is a welcome relief. They trek through town down the same wide, semi-empty streets. The children’s centre is about halfway between Heartland Academy and Neo Domino Elementary, so the slight detour to the centre doesn’t feel like a drag. It’s even more surprising when they spot Yuuri of all people standing outside of the children’s centre. He’s knelt down at the entrance, shielded from the falling snow by the roof but otherwise out in the frigid elements. Yuuri doesn’t even like playing in the snow with them – how come he’s outside?

When Yuuri spots them, his face naturally tightens and his tips are tugged down in a frown. “What the hell took you so long?” is his greeting.

Rubbing the back of his head, Yuuya abashedly admits, “Well, Yuuri, there’s …” And he can’t finish that sentence, not with such a false smile on his face. Yuuya drops the act and slouches forward a bit. “Yuuri, there’s something we need to check out, something that might tell us that we need to keep someone else safe.”

“And what’s that?”

“The coal briquette – we need to find it in the bus.”

“There wasn’t a coal briquette though –”

“There was. It was in the box, but it was there. Yuuto even saw it too.”

Next to him, Yuuto nods. “I did. There was a case in another town of a child murder using a coal briquette to poison the child. I need to find out if that could happen here.”

Meanwhile, Yuuri has been giving them increasingly sarcastic and otherwise incredulous looks. However, once they’re both done talking he shrugs his shoulders and hike up the straps on his backpack. “Well, I can’t say you’re both wrong if I never saw it, right? Let’s go check it out just to be sure.”

“Thanks, Yuuri.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Yuuya complies, at least not for the walk there. The three of them head down the same long road that snakes into one of the outskirts of Heartland City. The snow is deeper here, and even at this hour the clouds and sky have darkened. Long shadows stretch across the world, making it seem like it’s already approaching nightfall. Yuuya keeps his eyes on the sky in case it starts raining.

They spot the bus not a couple minutes later, still parked in the same spot just outside of the school’s field. It’s one of two buses, but Yuuya remembers this particular location well.

It’s … different though – not the bus, which has the same peeling paint and decrepit look to it. No, what’s different are the large, deep footprints exiting off the sidewalk and towards the bus. Those big footprints make a path into the bus storage area and right to the very bus Reira stayed at not that long ago. At once, Yuuya points them out to Yuuto and Yuuri. The three children crowd around the large prints. There aren’t many distinguishing features to them though, other than they must’ve been made by an adult.

Yuuto crouches down and sets a hand inside the footprint. “Isn’t this strange, Yuuya?”

“Yeah,” Yuuya says with a nod. “Why would someone come here?”

But Yuuto shakes his head at him. “No, look closely at these footprints. Look back at ours. Footprints make more than deep marks in the snow – usually you can see the sole of the shoes or boots. These prints though are too even, like maybe a special kind of boot or something.”

Kneeling down next to the snow, Yuuri pokes his finger in it. “What if the person wrapped their feet up?”

“That would work.” Tapping his chin, Yuuto adds, “It snowed again on Tuesday – lots of it too, enough to fill up footprints – and today’s Thursday. Between those times the killer must’ve come by.” He glances up at Yuuya. “What happened during those times?”

Yuuya swallows a thick pit in his throat. “Reira … moved away.”

“Hm,” is all Yuuto has to say. After a moment more, he rises up and points at the bus. “We should check out the bus to see if it’s there or not.”

“What about our footprints?” Yuuri says, holding up a shoe for emphasis. “I’m all for breaking the law too, but you’re pretty stupid if you think our sets of footprints won’t look suspicious. While adults must have to go to these buses sometimes, I doubt children are allowed back here.”

It’s a valid point, but Yuuya doesn’t have time to worry about getting caught. “That’s true, Yuuri, so let’s walk single-file in each other’s footprints. That way it only looks like one kid went to the bus, maybe as a dare or something.”

When Yuuri doesn’t say anything back, Yuuya takes it that his suggestion was heard. Yuuya leads the group out to the bus, followed first by Yuuto and then by Yuuri. With each step Yuuya takes he wiggles his legs back and forth to make wide footprints for his friends to step through. This isn’t the most foolproof plan, and they could still be caught; however, it will be worth it. Yuuya needs to find this out.

Like before, the door to the bus is unlocked, and Yuuya, Yuuto, and Yuuri are able to slip inside. Yuuya begins flicking lights on, listening for the sound of anyone inside. It’s empty though: the bus looks untouched, just like they left it –

Except for the backpack. They left it in the middle of the bus, all the contents spread out in case an adult came by suspecting that someone was stashing their illegal gear. However, that area is swept clean without even a cotton fiber in sight.

The killer was here.

“Not just the backpack,” Yuuto murmurs, “but look, Yuuya – boxes are missing too.”

At a first glance, it’s hard to see what Yuuto means: the bus is awfully cramped and messy. How would Yuuto be able to see a couple of missing boxes? However, what Yuuya’s eyes first zero on is the box with the footprint. It’s noticeably absent – it had been right at the front of the bus. From there, Yuuya notices how some box towers are smaller, how otherwise hidden windows are now visible. This bus is emptier, and Yuuya knows it’s because the killer has come here. The killer has been near Neo Domino where Rin goes to school.

_ Is Izayoi in danger? _

“Empty boxes,” Yuuri says, holding up another box that, while still physically in the bus, is cleaned out. “You don’t think someone came here to collect their things?”

Yuuto shrugs. “I’d say there’s at least five boxes missing – more than any one person could carry in a single trip. That means he must’ve put it in a truck or something, or done multiple trips to a nearby location.” At these words though, Yuuto’s forehead crinkles. “How far are we getting ahead of ourselves though? Do we … really think it is someone?”

“Yes,” Yuuya says at once.

“Yes?”

“There’s a killer,” Yuuya tells them. “Yuuto, you just told me there was a murder in a nearby town using a coal briquette, and isn’t it suspicious that one of those was stored in this abandoned bus – that shouldn’t have one at all – at the same time as a bag of kidnapping tools was found? Yuuto, in that story you told me –”

“What story?” Yuuri asks.

“ – the killer frames innocent people. He’s never been caught and he always gets away with it. Well, it looks like something like that might happen in this town.” Kicking the ground, Yuuya doesn't meet their gaze. “Or” – and here his voice drops to a sharp whisper – “is that a leap of logic?”

Neither Yuuri nor Yuuto say anything.

Yuuya continues: “Back then when Reira told us about the man coming in, I thought these would be the tools someone would use to kidnap or kill someone. Even Heartland said that only kidnappers would go in this bus.”

“Yuuya …”

“It’s a leap of logic, Yuuto, but let me take it –”

“I believe you.”

Yuuya blinks. “W-what?”

“I believe you, Yuuya. I told you that back at the school –”

“You guys are saps,  _ oh my god.” _

“– and I’ll say it again and again: I believe what you’re saving, through and through.” Chuckling, Yuuto says, “Maybe you should become a detective instead of a mangaka. Besides, it doesn’t matter if it’s a leap of logic anymore. I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I want to help, however I can.”

Yuuya hand rises up to rest against his heart.  _ He … believes me. _

Naturally, it’s ruined by Yuuri making gagging sounds while holding his throat. When he’s got their attention, he stops it, but the disgusted smirk doesn’t leave his face. “Is this really what you brought me for? To have a heart-to-heart? Because I can think of many, many better places to have that talk.”

Yuuri’s words should lighten the mood, or at least bring something besides fear to Yuuya’s face. But no – there isn’t just one more victim left to save. There’s Yuuri too, the friend that eighteen years ago Yuuya blamed himself for being unable to save. Yuuri’s death shook up Yuuya even more than Reira.

_ I won’t let that happen either, not ever. No one will die in this timeline. No one will be missing from this dimension. _

A gloved hand waves in front of his face and then bops him on the nose.

“Hey, are you even listening to anyone besides your internal monologue?”

Yuuya blinks up at Yuuri, who’s come to stand in front of him. Chuckling, Yuuya laughs and rubs his head. “Sorry, Yuuri, I …” He pauses, unsure how to get the words out that won’t make Yuuri bristle. Unfortunately, he can think of no such thing. With a great, heavy sigh, Yuuya asks, “Yuuri, can I … walk you home?”

The look he receives is nothing short of incredulous. Yuuri’s mouth drops open and for a second his eyebrows aren’t squished together in a point in the middle of his forehead. But then his face hardens, eyes steeling, and Yuuri grabs the front of Yuuya’s jacket and hauls him forward. “What the  _ hell  _ are you implying?”

“Nothing, just that we should walk home, Yuuri –”

“Walk Yuuto home then.”

“I want to walk you home. Where you live, Yuuri …”

_ It’s not Yuuto’s house,  _ he wants to say. Yuuto lives in the richest district of Heartland City, whereas Yuuri lives in a squished studio apartment with his family. While Yuuto comes home to greet his parents, Yuuri comes home alone and waits at the house for his parents to show up. The killer, if he’s been watching Yuuri, must know this, and it’s this same pattern that Yuuya has to break. 

No matter what, Yuuya can’t let Yuuri be alone.

“I insist,” Yuuya says. “Please, Yuuri.”

Next to him, Yuuto must see something going on for Yuuya. He clears his throat to gather both of their attentions, and then says, “I think it’s a good idea, Yuuri. It’s late at night, and where you live is a pretty quiet part of the neighbourhood. I think Yuuya will be good on his own, but you’re the smallest –”

“I’m a  _ guy,”  _ Yuuri snaps. “I can walk myself home.”

“And as your friend, Yuuri, please – I’ll … even buy you something.”

It’s the words Yuuri needs to hear to sway his mind on almost anything. His head turns and his eyes widen, and a slow, devious grin spreads across his face. It is almost haunting how easily Yuuri’s attitude can change when money is involved. Thankfully, it’s in Yuuya’s favour. 

“Money, you say? Well …” He chuckles. “Sure, whatever. Knock yourself out coming to a house with no one in it. You’re not coming in though, not even if you pay me.”

“That’s fine,” Yuuya says. “I just want to make sure that you get home safe, OK?” Turning back to Yuuto, Yuuya says, “We’ll be off now, OK? We don’t want to be out too late at night.”

Yuuto raises his hand back to them. “Take care and be safe.”

After one last look back, Yuuya heads back out of the bus with Yuuri in tow. For the first few minutes of the walk, they don’t say anything. Yuuri keeps his hands in his pockets and his head bowed low. They buy candy at a corner store with Yuuya’s pocket money.When Yuuya tries to ask for directions, Yuuri only gives him some vague pointers, and keeps reminding him that Yuuya shouldn’t even be coming to his house.

“I don’t need to be chaperoned home like some  _ kid,”  _ Yuuri mutters.

“Well,” Yuuya replies, kicking the snow with his boots, “chaperones are adults, and I’m a kid, so I don’t think it would work like that. Besides, Yuuri, that convenience store sells some of my favourite candy, and I wouldn't have been able to buy it unless I walked towards your house.”

Slowly, Yuuri poke his head out from where he’s buried it in his scarf. “Is that the best reason you can come up with?”

“It’s a valid reason,” Yuuya insists. “I promise.”

Yuuri raises a hand to his face. “Fine, fine, I believe you. In fact …” His voice drops, as do his shoulders. Yuuri keeps looking ahead, but he speaks: “In fact, I believe you about a couple other things too, like how there’s something going on with Akaba, and how you’re acting suspicious because you think someone might go after Akaba. Really, you’re pretty easy to read, Yuuya.”

Blushing, Yuuya scrubs at his cheeks. “You think I’m predictable.”

“To a fault.” 

Yuuya sinks down into the collar of his jacket.

“But” – and here Yuuri raises a finger – “that just means you can’t hide it anymore.”

There’s something deeper in those words that causes Yuuya to lift his head. What is Yuuri trying to say …?

“When something’s wrong, Yuuya, don’t take it all on by yourself. Go to Heartland or you mom or even us – someone that’ll listen to you. Got it?”

Eighteen years ago, Yuuri would have never said this to him. Back then, Yuuya was only superficially friends with Yuuri, studying in class with him and hanging out after school. This time, involving Yuuri in the cases paid off. Yuuri’s become a closer friend and he’s trustworthy.

“Of course,” Yuuya says. “I can always count on my friends.”

Yuuri opens his mouth to say more, but then snaps it shut. He raises a hand to point at a white apartment complex with at least ten floors, one of the larger ones in the suburbs. The balconies in this apartment are rather squished to the sides of the building, surrounded by just a thin layer of white cement. The rest of the building is more modern, and the garden – while snowy – looks clean and spacious.

“That’s my house,” Yuuri says. “So you can, uh, go now. Got it?”

Laughing, Yuuya nods. He takes a step forward to embrace Yuuri, but then thinks better of it. He and Yuuri are different kinds of friends than him and Reira. Instead, Yuuya raises one hand up high and shouts, “Goodbye, Yu –”

A hand slaps over his lips, fingernails digging into the skin around his cheeks. Yuuri’s eyes flash in the moonlight, two narrow slits through which Yuuri can see fire burning. “Shut your mouth, Yuuya, or the entire dimension will hear you.”

Yuuya shakes his head free, and then covers his mouth with a gloved hand when more giggles climb up his throat. Only when he can calm himself does Yuuya straighten up and drop his hand. “I’ll be quieter next time –”

“Who said there would be a next time?”

“– OK? If you ever go home late, you should message me and I’ll walk home with you. It’s best that we don’t stay alone, especially since we know that there is a killer nearby. We need to be on our guard.”

“Whatever.” But Yuuri is listening though. “See ya and don’t get robbed.”

“I won’t.” Then, for good measure, Yuuya throws up his hands, fingers splayed wide to the starscape, and shouts once more, “Good night, Yuuri.”

This time all he receives is the middle finger to the middle of Yuuri’s back, a gesture that only disappears when Yuuri climbs into the elevator of the apartment and the doors close in front of him. Yuuya remains standing at the entrance to the apartment complex for a moment longer, waiting to see if anything happens. When it doesn’t, he marches back down the snowy streets.

At this hour, it’s late enough at night that there are a handful of cars that pass by him, but no one’s bothering to walk through the cold weather. As the only one on the streets, Yuuya makes as many footprints as he can, zigzagging across the pavement to create swirling tracks by dragging his feet along. Though he becomes tired from the activity and his energy wanes, he doesn’t stop until he’s at his house.

The moment he opens the door, he sees Yoko in the kitchen. It’s not as if his mother is simply a homemaker – she works too. Yoko is much, much more than that. She loves to cook, and Yuuya can smell ginger from the frying pans on the stovetop. He greedily sniffs around the house, a smile on his lips.

“I’m back, Mama! What did you make?”

Brushing her hands on her jeans, Yoko answers, “Ginger beef, or something that’ll taste as good as it. I haven’t mastered the recipe quite yet, but I think you’ll enjoy it.” She taps her hands to her thighs, and then glances back at him. “Aren’t you gonna put your schoolwork away? And you’re still standing there in your wet shoes and jacket.”

Hurriedly, Yuuya kicks off his shoes, and then rushes across the room to put away his belongings. Once he’s out of his mother’s line of vision though, he sinks back against the wall. He hasn’t bothered to turn on the lights in the room, and during this time in winter the sun still disappears before dinnertime; the room is lit only by the faint moonlight and the lampposts. 

Yuuya drops his bag to the floor. He finds the home telephone on the desk, and tosses it from hand to hand. 

“Mama?”

“Yes?” she replies from the kitchen.

“I … need to make a quick phone call.”

“Go right ahead – dinner isn’t ready yet.”

Satisfied, Yuuya dials Yuuto’s number. He makes himself comfy against the wall, one hand holding the phone to his ear and the other toying with his goggles atop his head. After the third ring, Yuuto picks up on the other line.

“Hello?”

“Yuuto, it’s Yuuya.”

“Is everything OK?” There’s an urgency to Yuuto’s tone that tells Yuuya that the previous conversation hasn’t ended. Yuuto must be thinking about what has and what will happen now that Reira is gone.

“Yeah, it’s good,” Yuuya answers. He kicks his legs out and taps his toes to the ground. “Um, yeah …”

There’s a sigh on the other end. “Yuuya, did you call me because you too are thinking about the missing coal briquette? Are you worried about what we’ve been talking about.”

Yuuya nods first, and then, blushing upon the realisation that Yuuto can’t see his gesture, he says, “Yes. Yes, I’m worried about what will happen next. I can’t predict anything, Yuuto.”

“And you could before?”

Yuuya’s teeth sink into his lip. “No, but … I knew Reira was in danger. I knew I needed to protect him because if not something bad would happen. Now though, I really don’t know what to do next.”

For a moment, the line is silent. Yuuya hears gentle, calm breaths – how can Yuuto remain so calm throughout all this? 

And when Yuuto next speaks, his voice is even: “You’ve given me a lot to think about, actually. I think your hypothesis about the coal briquet … well, I think, no matter how unlikely it could be, I don’t think we can rule out the possibility. We can’t throw away that evidence because we  _ think  _ it’s untrue without any proof of our own. I know that in other cities there are killer targeting lone children, and now that we know a killer could have been after Reira, and that there might even be one in this city … We can’t throw that evidence away, not yet.”

“I think that the murderer is the same,” Yuuya says, “and he doesn’t get caught because he’s good at framing other people.”

“Right.”

“I’m nervous that someone I care about could get framed for a murder, or that someone I care about could become a  _ victim  _ of a murder.”  _ “This may only seem like a detective game –” _

“It is.”

Yuuya blushes – Yuuto heard him!

“We’re the detectives who will figure this out, Yuuya. And I think …” His voices grows softer, and Yuuya has to jam the phone in his ear to hear Yuuto. “I think your thoughts will reach somewhere.”

_ My … thoughts?  _ Yuuya swallows.  _ Eighteen years ago, no one would believe me about anything I said. I was all alone. Even Mama couldn’t believe me. But this time, I have hope. I won’t have the same regrets as before. I have new information from 2006, carefully compiled by Durbe, that will help me in this investigations. I have friends and allies in both dimensions helping me.  _

_ I’ll save them – all of them! The dimensions won’t lose any of us. _

Yuuto’s smile comes through the phone speaker, a voice of an angel and saviour: “Yuuya, I believe you.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!  
> i've been looking at my word counts for each chapter and slowly they are rising O.O;; now i know that chapter word counts are really up to each author and can vary from work to work, but i'm thinking that my chapter lengths are growing _too_ long. thus, i've decided to cut my chapter lengths in half. however, in saying this i also recognise that it can be hard to wait once a week for a chapter, and i want to make sure i'm publishing enough content for y'all ^^ THEREFORE
> 
> effective today, _The Dimension Where Only I Am Missing_ will update on **Tuesdays and Fridays**. i hope you look forward to future chapters (:

Before Yuuya knows what he’s doing, he’s running – fast, far, out the door, calling to Yoko, “I need to talk to Hope! Be back later!”

He doesn’t hear her answer when he shuts the door.

The streets are snowy and slippery, and at this hour there isn’t enough light for Yuuya to know that he won’t fall into a pothole at any moment. He doesn’t stop running though, through the streets and into another familiar, cosy suburb. Of all the houses on the block, the Tsukumo House is the brightest. The grocery store is closed for the night, but half the lights are still on in the building. Through the windows Yuuya can see Yuuma and Kazuma cleaning the floor and stocking.

Rather than go through the front door to the home, Yuuya climbs the stairs to the grocery shop entrance and knocks on the glass door with a fist. It catches Yuuma’s attention at once – his face splits into a big, dorky grin, and he comes bounding across the store to rip the door open.

“Yuuya, good to see ya!” he greets. His accent is painfully obvious for that moment, and it doesn’t disappear as he literally  _ drags  _ Yuuya through the door and through the shop. Yuuya lets himself be carried away with a chuckle. The hospitality he receives at the Tsukumo household is cosy and bubbly, like he’s stepped into a family that’s just adopted him. 

From across the shop, Kazuma waves a hand to him too. He’s still in work clothes – a polo shirt and dress pants, with a green ‘Tsukumo Foods’ apron overtop – and his hair is hidden behind an evergreen bandana that wraps around his sweaty forehead. He has the same smile as Yuuma too, one that nearly makes Yuuya look away from the brightness.

“Yuuya, come to join us for dinner?”

“S –”

“Of  _ course  _ you are!” Yuuma answers for him. Then, winking, he adds, “But that won’t be for a while. Why don’t we go up to my room, Yuuya?” He pushes Yuuya out of the shop floor and into the house entrance; there is a hallway towards the kitchen and living room, and then a staircase leading up to the bedrooms and attic. The house is still remarkably messy, with papers and boxes everywhere, and all manner of memorabilia hanging from the walls and ceilings.

“Go on, make yourself at home in the attic! I’ll be right up with drinks and snacks.”

With a quick nod, Yuuya turns and heads up the stairs. They creak on every step he takes, causing him to blush scarlet. When he’s on the second floor, he heads into the room that is  _ meant  _ to be where Yuuma sleeps; however, it’s too clean to be liveable, and Yuuya knows that Yuuma spends much of his time in the attic directly above the bedroom.

There is a long rope hanging from the ceiling that serves as the staircase up to the attic. Yuuya climbs up it, legs tight to the chaffed rope so that he doesn’t slip down it. When he’s far enough up to the attic, he stretches out a hand to grab at the baseboards. He hauls himself up to the floor, rolling once he’s on solid ground. He doesn’t get to roll far though, for this particular room has more junk than Yuuya can even imagine a single family  _ owning. _

However, this time the room is a bit different. It appears Yuuma has been going through his boxes, if the fact that books, CDs, and magazines are everywhere on the floor. Piles of clothing topple to the sides of open boxes of old artefacts. 

Yuuma chooses at that moment to peek his head in, pushing a tray of drinks and orange slices across the floor. “I’m redecorating,” he says by way of explanation, and then chuckles. “However, that means I have to get  _ rid  _ of stuff, and, well, I’m not ready to part with everything yet.”

“Understandable,” Yuuya says, a bit detached because his eyes have found something of interest. Yuuma has dozens of CDs in cases, mostly J-Rock and K-Rock bands that were popular in the 80s. There is also a sizeable collection of anime music too, and these are the names Yuuya is familiar with. His classmates often talk about different animes airing now – Yuuya himself doesn’t watch much anime, but there’s one show that he really likes –

“Odd-Eyes Magician.”

Yuuya’s fingers find the CD case. It’s brightly emblazoned with a picture of Odd-Eyes Magician atop a world comprised of four cities – four dimensions, it appears – with the magician in the centre. This is the CD for the opening song of the anime … but more importantly, it’s a CD that, in the other timeline, Yuuma gave to Yuuya as a present.

“That’s your favourite anime, isn’t it?” Yuuma says. He’s pulled himself up into the room and made himself comfortable on the floor. With his mouth full of orange slices, he adds, “You can have it, if you want – take anything you’d like. I don’t need all the stuff I have.”

Yuuya’s fingers tighten on the CD. “Just this one please, Hope – I really like this anime!”

“Sure, whatever you’d like!”

As the conversation draws to a lull, Yuuya realises that Yuuma is waiting for him to say more. Why has Yuuya come exactly? Fortunately, Yuuya knows how to get right to business. He settles down on the floor across from Yuuma, legs tucked underneath him and hands laid on his lap. He takes a deep breath, in and out.

“Hope, do you know a girl named Izayoi Rin?”

There’s no point in skirting around the bush with Yuuma. Eighteen years ago, Yuuma hung out and befriended lonely children. Even though things have changed in this timeline, Yuuya suspects this particular fact remains the same. And if his suspicions are correct, Yuuma should be spending time with Rin.

“Rin-rin? Yeah, I know her.”

His honesty surprises Yuuya: without even a blink or pause Yuuma happily tells him that he’s made contact with her.

Yuuma leans closer, smiling. “Do you?”

“No,” Yuuya admits, blushing and glancing down at his hands. “I was wondering, Hope, if you could tell me a bit about her. I want to be her friend too.”

Yuuma leans back with a satisfied smirk. “You really are a good kid, Yuuya. Well, let’s see here …” He taps a finger to his chin, and then not a second later snaps them loudly. “Oh yeah, she’s from a different school than you, isn’t she? She’s from Neo Domino. That must be why you don’t know her so well. That, and she’s really busy.”

“Busy?”

“Yeah, she has hichiriki class after school, and then a little break before her cram class starts. She’s so busy that I hardly have time to hang out with her, but during that little break she’s always by herself on the other side of the river. Even though she goes to school at Neo Domino, she lives quite a ways away.”

Yuuya nods. He’s never bothered to look across the water, but perhaps Rin has seen him before. “And she’s usually by herself?”

Yuuma nods solemnly. “She says she has friends in school, but she’s involved in so much and studying so hard that she rarely has time to hang out with everyone – and she told me no friend’s going to give up their afternoon just to hang out with her for an hour.”

Yuuya’s lips turn into a frown. Though Rin has friends and social connections, there a specific period of time that she’s alone. That’s all the killer needs to target her. 

But something else surprises Yuuya: just how much Yuuma knows about Rin. How long has Yuuma known Rin for? Where did he get this information from? This puts a whole new twist on what Yuuya previously knew about Tsukumo Yuuma and his relationships to the three victims of the serial kidnapping case. Yuuya suddenly feels lost in all this, like perhaps too much has changed that he can’t plan ahead.

“Haha, actually Yuuya” – Yuuma taps him on the shoulder – “it wasn’t me who saw Rin-rin by herself. It was Dad. He was driving home from a delivery one day and he saw a girl sitting all by herself. And then he saw her again, and again, every time he drove that way home from a delivery. He told me about it at dinner one night, said I should go ‘n introduce myself.”

Tsukumo Kazuma. In the report Yuuya read in the book he bought from the store, there had been be a passage about suspicions concerning Tsukumo Yuuma’s father. Something Yuuma said, or perhaps even something he did, must have led the police to think that Kazuma could have been a suspect too.

In the time Yuuya has taken to compose his thoughts, Yuuma has once more leaned so close that their noses are touching, grinning ear-to-ear. Yuuya reels back with a laugh, more surprised at the closeness than at anything else. However, Yuuma doesn’t lean back. He purses his lips together, considering his next words for a grand total of two seconds, before he exclaims, “So, you gonna be Rin-rin’s friend too?”

Yuuya throws up a hand. “Ah, well, I don’t know yet –”

“Dinner’s ready!” Kazuma shouts up to them.

Yuuma takes his hand, yanking them both up to their feet and to the ladder down to the main floors. “You’re eating with us tonight, all right? I don’t think you’ve ever come by this late before.”

Yoko will berate him later for not eating her ginger beef, but Yuuya knows that he has more to do at the Tsukumo household. As he steps into the kitchen, hand still held by Yuuma, Yuuya’s eyes meet with Kazuma’s. He’s a cheery, jovial man, just like his son. 

“Grab a seat, Yuuma, and I’ll get ya some tea!”

“T-thank you, sir,” Yuuya says. He takes a seat on one of the sides of the table; Kazuma sits at the front, and Yuuma sits across from him. The table is laden with dishes of home cooked food: beef and chicken, both seasoned and glazed; a dish of raw carrots, radishes, and celery cut into small, bite-sized pieces; and a large, steaming vat of creamy stew that has Yuuya’s mouth watering at once. Kazuma passes out bowls of white rice for them as well.

Kazuma and Yuuma clap their hands together, a sound that echoes through the cramed dining room. “Let’s dig in!”

Hurriedly, Yuuya mimics them. “Let’s eat!”

At once there is a flurry of clinks and clatters as Yuuma and Kazuma dig into their meals. They talk loudly and boisterously, at times even louder than Yoko has ever been. Yuuya feels himself sink deeper into his seat as he picks through his meal. The conversation has swept up without him, until Yuuma drops his chopsticks on his plate and exclaims, “Hey, Dad, Yuuya here’s been asking about Rin-rin!”

“Who?” Kazuma says through a mouthful of stew.

“Rin-rin, that girl that’s usually by herself at the river.”

“Oh her, her – are you in school with her, Yuuya?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “I just know of her, sir. I want to be her friend, and, like Hope, I don’t want her to be alone.”

Kazuma raises his glass then, a grin splitting his face apart. “A toast to friends then! Cheers!” 

Yuuma and Yuuya raises their glasses, and the three of them clink their tea mugs together. 

They finish up the meal after that – or at least, Yuuma and Kazuma devour the rest of their meal, and Yuuya eats as much of his as he can before he realises how late it’s gotten. Through the window he can see the pitch-black sky, not a star in sight tonight.

Yuuma follows his gaze out to the window. “Let me walk you home, Yuuya. It’s pretty late, and you shouldn’t be out by yourself.”

_ “You won’t let anyone be alone, will you?”  _ Yuuya thinks.

“You’re right!” Yuuma says, slapping his knee for emphasis. Yuuya’s cheeks grow pink as he realises he’s spoken aloud yet again. 

Waving his hands before him, Yuuya says, “No, no, it’s late for you too! You work early in the mornings, don’t you? Both of you actually! You should get some sleep, and I should go home, and –” Yuuya trails off, panting. He looks up with his face flaming, and spots Yuuma and Kazuma chuckling under their breaths. “I’ll be fine, Hope – I promise.”

Yuuma considers it with a long,  _ loud  _ hm that bounces around the room. At last though, he laughs and pats Yuuya on the back. Yuuma insists that he doesn’t have to wash the dishes for them as he leads Yuuya back through the hallway and to where Yuuya left his shoes. He crouches down while Yuuya laces up his damp running shoes, and then sees him off with a smile and a wave. At the end of the hallway, Yuuya sees Kazuma waving to him too.

Yuuya gives them both one final wave before he hops out of the house and down the steps to the road. The Tsukumo house remains a bright pinnacle behind him as Yuuya hurries back to his home. It’s scary to be out by himself; goosebumps appear on Yuuya’s arms and neck, and every crack or clink he hears makes him jump in fright. 

However, Yuuya has bigger things to worry about too. From talking with Yuuma, he knows several important details about how the real killer kidnaps and kills a child.

First, they have to create a fake murderer. The real culprit has to look for someone to frame, someone innocent but who is close enough to the target. In the original timeline, that was Hope: he was a dorky adult who befriended elementary school children, a person who was immediately suspicious to all other adults. 

_ When I went to Hope’s house, my plan was to break him and Izayoi apart. I didn’t want him to be near her, for his sake mostly and a bit for hers. But now … Izayoi is Hope’s friend. He cares about her, and even if I tried to separate them, a third-party witness will have already seen them together and suspected something. Even if Hope could be framed for it, it’s wrong to stop him from being friends with Izayoi.  _

Then there’s the second condition: there’s a time where the child victim is alone. In Reira’s case, that was every day after school, and after times when Reira was beaten and locked in the storage room. The killer had watched carefully to know when exactly Reira was alone – it wasn’t hard in her case since Reira was all alone in school as well as outside of it.

For Rin though, there’s a narrow window of opportunity, an hour where she’s not in school or at a club activity. However, one hour is all the killer needs to kidnap her and take her away. 

Yuuya’s hands clench in fists.

_ I cannot leave Izayoi alone. I must break the second condition. _

Then he sinks forward, feet dragging in the snow. Reira was in his class; it was easy to befriend her and stick with her throughout the day. The only connection Yuuya has to Rin is Yuuma, and he can’t involve Yuuma or else he’ll only be a greater suspect if the case fails. Plus Rin doesn't know who Yuuya is … and Yuuya barely knows who  _ she  _ is. What is she like, who are her friends, what does she do? He doesn't have any way to get to know her.

_ Would she even speak to a strange kid like me? _

The questions stay in his head when Yuuya comes home, kicking snow off his boots at the doorway, and then stepping inside to the same sweet ginger smell. Yoko is sitting at the table with a magazine, but she looks up as soon as he enters. 

“Where did you run off to?” she jokes. “You’ve been gone for over an hour.”

“Hope’s house,” Yuuya says. He stares down at his feet abashedly. “Sorry, Mama – I’ve already had dinner.”

“Is that what’s got you pouting?” Her chair screeches backwards and with several loud steps she’s crossed the room to tug him into a hug. “Really, that doesn’t bother me in the slightest. You have leftovers for breakfast anyways, so it works out.”

But it doesn’t, at least not with the headache Yuuya has thinking about Rin, about Reira, about Hope –

He pulls out of her embrace with a nervous chuckle, and takes a few steps back before telling her, “I have a lot of homework I need to do, Mama. Let’s take a bath later, OK?”

She crosses her arm and chuckles. “Sure, go study and we’ll bathe later.”

Only Yuuya doesn’t – once he’s in the room he reaches into his backpack and pulls out the CD Hope gave him, the Odd-Eyes Magician theme song that he used to listen to even when he was drawing manga years later. This was a precious gift from his past, and having it in his hands lifts his spirits even for a bit. He pops it into the CD player and presses ‘play.’ Then, tugging on a pair of big headphones, Yuuya lets the music immerse him. The theme song is vaguely reminiscent of the opening act of a circus, or a song an entertainer might use to draw the audience in. The percussion is loud, the vocals crying to the heavens – it’s the song that Yuuya has memorised for years ahead.

“Yuuya.”

He tilts his head forward, imagining sitting at his desk, his manga tools spread out in front of him. He would draw for hours and hours throughout the night with nothing but this song on repeat. It was his study anthem, his personal theme song that represented his little and big successes.

The headphones come off his ears just as the chorus starts up.

“Yuuya,” Yoko says, “something’s bothering you.”

Yuuya’s hands grapple for the earphones, but Yoko keeps them high above his head. She must be a mind-reader or something, but Yuuya can’t lie to her, not when she’s turning him around with her gentle hands. 

“You shouldn’t keep things to yourself – tell me if you need help.”

He’s sitting across from her now, legs tucked underneath him. There’s no escaping now – Yoko is blocking the door by sitting directly across from him, and her strong gaze tells him that he can’t lie his way out of this one. 

“Yuuya –”

“Mama … how do you befriend a stranger, like a kid that you don’t know at all?”

Surprisingly, Yoko takes a moment to think. She nestles her head in one cupped hand and ponders the thought. Then: “Why don’t you just go to them directly and say ‘be my friend!’ Wouldn’t that work?”

_ You think that would work?! _

She reaches over and bops him on the head. “Yes, Yuuya, it would work.”

“I didn’t even say anything that time though,” Yuuya mumbles to the table.

His mother laughs. “But it showed on your face. Besides.” She smothers a laugh into her fist. “Don't you have Reira to take care of?”

Yuuya chokes on air, hands flying up to cover his mouth. He coughs and coughs for a solid minute, face red with exertion, and across from him Yoko does little more than laugh to herself. When Yuuya finally has his breath back though, he growls, “What's Reira got to do with this? I just want to be this other girl’s friend.”

Yoko taps her head, lips twisted in a smirk. Her silence makes it even more awkward. 

“Well …” Yuuya leans forward, cradling his own head in his hands. His next words come out as little more than a soft whisper to the ground, choked sounds in his dry throat. “It is a girl though … a girl who’s all by herself after school. She’s from another elementary school, but she lives around here. And, well … I don’t want her to be alone. No one likes to be alone, do they? So I thought, what if I try to be her friend?” Yuuya sighs, falling even more forward until his forehead is mere inches from the ground. “But that might be weird, right?”

“I don’t think so.”

Yuuya lifts his head, peering through his long, thick bangs. “Huh?”

“You should try to see things in a positive light. What if what that girl wants is nothing more than a friend? What if she’s waiting for someone to sit with her and talk? What if you’re right and she doesn’t want to be lonely?” Yoko reaches across to lift up his chin; looking into Yoko’s vivaciously green eyes makes Yuuya stare longer.

“Think about the friendship you might make, and worry about that other stuff later.”

Philosophical and poetic, that’s who his mother is.

Yuuya smiles up at her, and it’s a real, honest smile. “I think I can do that.”


	28. Chapter 28

Yuuya has to wait all day in class before he can tell Yuuto and Yuuri about Rin. He has to wait until Yuugo has gone home, who gives them a suspicious glance when they all take forever to pack up. However, he does finally leave without them, and Yuuya can breathe a sigh of relief that does not go unnoticed by the other two.

“You have the worst poker face, did you know that?” Yuuri says.

Yuuya blushes and looks away. “Well … yeah. But I have something to tell you guys, something that I’ve had to wait all day for.” He swallows hard. “There’s this game I want to play with you guys called the detective game. The point of the game is to not leave any kids alone for too long, especially not out in town.”

Yuuri raises an eyebrow. “Is that why you insist on walking me home every day?”

Yuuya nods. “This is scary to admit, but it’s true: there could be a killer in this town. What we need to do is make sure no children are left alone every day, like a pattern. Yuuri, you walk home alone for part of the trip and then you get home to an empty house. I’m worried the killer might catch on to that, if he was in town, and so I want to walk you home for a bit, just in case anyone’s watching.”

“Suspicious.”

“But it’s not a ridiculous theory.” Yuuto crosses his arms over his chest, face set in a deep frown. “What Yuuya’s saying makes a lot of sense considering the clues we’ve uncovered and learnt. We need to take care of each other however we can.”

“So …”

Yuuya clears his throat. “Remember when we went to Neo Domino and the coal briquet was missing from the bus? Well, that caught my attention. I thought maybe, just maybe, the killer could be at Neo Domino. And then I remembered something else: my friend Hope, who spends time with kids who are lonely, hangs out with this girl named Izayoi Rin who goes to Neo Domino. There’s a period of time every day where Izayoi is alone, and … well, I don’t want her to be alone anymore. 

“The detective game means we make sure no children are left alone, and that includes children from other schools. We’ve gotta find a way to keep Izayoi safe.”

“Yuuya, the period of time that she’s alone …”

“It’s after cram school. Hope told me a bit about her schedule: she has an instrument class right after school. Then she waits around the park, right across from where our base is, for an hour. Then she goes to cram school. However, I don’t know where she goes from there. I think though that time after cram school is her alone time.”

Yuuri snickers into his palm. “You’re gonna walk her home too?”

Yuuya nods. “I am. I won’t let her be alone.”

His words successfully shut Yuuri up, but Yuuto still ponders through what he’s said. “To figure out when she’s alone, we’d need to learn her schedule too.” A pause. “We’d need to know when her cram school classes end.”

“Bingo! I think we should go there today.”

“To stalk her?” That would be Yuuri, still seeming a bit skeptical about the detective game. Yuuya doesn't have much to ease his worries, but he hopes that the plan will be a success.

“Not really, but in essence, yeah – we can’t get caught, but we need to find out where she’s going. We’ll figure this out today, and then …” Yuuya balls his hand in a fist, which he hits on the desk. “And then tomorrow, I’ll go and befriend her.” Yuuya looks up, and glances at both Yuuri and Yuuto. “I told you this because I trust you and I want you to help me, but it’s up to you if you play this game with me. We could get in trouble, or worse.”

Yuuto’s hand rests atop his, a gentle presence that makes Yuuya’s heart swell. “I’m in.”

After a minute, Yuuri’s hand hovers atop both of theirs. “Fine, me too.”

Yuuya makes them hold it for a moment, just so that he can relish in the feeling that, in this timeline, his friends are with him. In this timeline, he can save everyone.

They gather up their backpacks from their desks and lock up the room behind them. Most of the students are out of the hallways, and even the shoe locker bay is particularly quiet. Mr. Heartland is lone gone too, having dashed off to his office after saying goodbye to everyone. As they trek down the stairs, Yuuya wonders what his teacher would say to his plans. Would he be in favour of them? If the opportunity presented itself, would Heartland help too?

Once they have their winter clothing on and are bundled up for the weather, they hurry outside. Rather than heading towards any of the suburbs, they go right to the city centre where Rin’s cram school is. The building they search for is a little hole-in-the-wall academy, a private tutoring centre that must have cost Rin’s family a fortune. When they find the place, tucked between a convenience store and a jewelry store, they check around the building.

“Izayoi wouldn’t be here yet, would she?” Yuuto asks.

“No, her class starts later –”

The words fade out of Yuuya’s mouth as he turns to see a girl with spritely green hair bounding down the road. It’s unmistakably Rin: she’s got barrettes pulling back her unruly curls that still frame her round, heart-shaped face. Despite the chilly weather she wears little more than a sweater and a scarf; her legs are decorated in a pair of heart-print leggings.

“I –” Yuuri begins.

Yuuya slaps a hand over Yuuri’s mouth and spins him round to look the other way. Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya watches Rin come down the road and then turn into the door leading into the private tutoring centre. She does give them a long glance, orange eyes framed by thick, dark eyelashes, but then she’s gone in the blink of an eye and Yuuya’s gaping at the road.

“T-that’s –”

“Izayoi,” Yuuya says. “That means if her class starts now, it must end …”

Yuuto checks the time sheet on the billboard. There are hour-long tutoring blocks for students, and if it’s five-thirty now …

“Six-thirty. Yuuya, you have some time after school to get here.”

Yuuya taps his fingers to the board, deep in thought for a moment. “I think I have a plan,” he says at last. “Since Rin’s class ends so late, we’ll need to find some place to chill. Why don’t we hang out at the children’s centre for a bit. Then I can walk you home, Yuuri, to make sure that you’re not by yourself. Then I’ll head here to meet up with Izayoi and I’ll walk her home too.”

Yuuri hangs himself forward, moaning, “How come you two get to be alone, but you think you have to baby me and walk me home?”

“It’s just a safety precaution,” Yuuya says. “There aren’t many times that Yuuto and I are frequently alone, but you’re home alone, Yuuri –”

“Yuuya, if you’re walking Izayoi home then  _ you’ll  _ be alone.”

_ True,  _ Yuuya thinks,  _ but it’s OK if I’m alone. The killer won’t come after me, not if he’s been watching how close I’ve stuck to Reira. If the killer knows who I am, then I am a  _ threat  _ to him. He won’t go after me. _

But Yuuya doesn’t say any of this. Instead, he laughs it off with a wave of his hand. “I’ll be fine because this is a new pattern. The killer … he must have to watch children for a while before he figures it out. I don’t think he’ll have time to go after me, and especially not when I’m hanging around one of his ‘targets.’”

Once again, his words placate Yuuri. The three of them stand outside of the school lost in their own thoughts.

“When I leave the children’s centre,” Yuuto says, “I’ll go and check on the card game guy. I wonder where he goes after he hangs out with Izayoi.”

Yuuya raises an eyebrow, suspicious of whatever Yuuto is implying.

Yuuto raises his hands in defense. “I want to make sure he has an alibi, Yuuya. Promise.”

He breathes a sigh of relief. In this timeline, Yuuto believes in Yuuma’s innocence too. With these efforts, it should drastically cut down what the killer can do. With any luck, they’ll scare him out of the city and he’ll be caught. If he goes after any of the two victims from the previous timeline – Rin and Yuuri – Yuuya and Yuuto will be able to catch the true killer. 

Laughing, Yuuya sticks his hand out again. “We can do this.”

There’s power in his wods that raises the hopes and spirits around them.

Once more, Yuuto sets his hands on his. “I believe in you.”

Yuuya smiles. “I believe in us.”

Yuuri  _ still  _ won’t touch either of their hands, and his words of “Morons,” echoes all around them.

* * *

The following day, Yuuya returns to the same place – well, as close to the same place as he can. He doesn’t want Rin to spot him, so he camps out across the street at a little European cafe with wide windows through which Yuuya can see the study centre. At ten minutes to 17:30 he watches Rin come down the road, still in merely a sweater and a scarf, but kicking snow back and forth with her rubber boots. 

From his vantage point though, Yuuya can see much, much more. He can look down the road and see the cars parked along the boardwalk. He can see shoppers traveling to and from the different department stores along this road, carrying bags and pulling little carts behind them. It’s a peaceful winter wonderland, but only at a first glance. For many years, Yuuya has been able to step back and spot the oddity. 

He has to do this again.

_ Let’s see … people on the sidewalks, none wearing glasses. Any children? Any suspicious vehicles? Would the killer even approach Izayoi, or is he watching her too? _

Slowly, Yuuya peeks over his shoulder. The cafe is rather quiet at this hour: there’s a couple ordering at the counter, and two other tables that are occupied. The first is by a man with greying hair who’s hunched over his paperwork. He’s too far back in the cafe to be able to see out the window, much less be able to spot when Rin enters and exit. The other person is a woman, maybe an university student, studying at the other end of the cafe. She’s by the window, but she doesn't strike Yuuya as someone to commit the crime. 

Maybe he’s being too lenient though.

Every minute he can, Yuuya checks the analog clock hanging beside the cafe menu. He watches the hands  _ tick-tick-tick  _ around the circumference of the clock, until it’s been an hour and Yuuya’s eyes dart back to the window.

Rin’s class will be done.

Yuuya hops out of his seat. He bows to the barista before he leaves and thanks him for the hot chocolate. Then he slips back outside and stands opposite of the road, back to the cool stone of the cafe. He tries to make himself seem busy with adjusting his gloves and scarf until the door of the tutoring school opens and Rin steps out. 

She’s on the move.

Casually, Yuuya pushes off from the wall and begins walking parallel to her. He walks opposite of the street, peeking at her through the corner of his eyes. At the same time, he tries to notice everything around him – who else is walking, what are they doing, who else might be watching Rin? No one seems suspicious though – no one but him, at least. It worries him then that maybe he isn’t close enough, and that if something happens he won’t be able to stop it. 

At the next intersection, Yuuya crosses the street. He trails behind Rin, about ten steps of so. Yuuya still can’t see anyone around though. It makes him nervous – what’s the oddity?

“Yuuya!”

He nearly screams, whirling around to find –

“Mama?”

Yoko has come out of the grocery store laden with bags in her hands. Once again, just like all those years in the future, she’s bought too much. Her arms sag down, dragging the plastic bags against the snowy cement. Guiltily, she sticks out her tongue at him. “What a coincidence seeing you in town today. How about giving me a hand?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya watches Rin keep walking. She’ll head home. She’ll … be safe. It’s not like Yuuya can chase after her, not now since his mother has found him.

With a silent groan, Yuuya hurries over to help Yoko carry the bags. He spots fresh produce in one bag: eggplants, carrots, radishes, and all manner of root vegetables. In another bag there are several packages of fresh, raw fish for dinner. Yoko’s also bought cans of beef and turkey for other meals, and dried noodles should they ever have ramen. The last time Yuuya checked the fridge, there were still a lot of fresh ingredients.

“Mama,” Yuuya moans, “how come you bought so much?”

Now that her hands aren’t laden, she reaches out to bop him on the head. “There was a sale and everything was so cheap –”

“But some of this will expire –”

Yoko laughs outright. “Not if we eat it fast enough. We’ll have to invite your friends over again for more meals, even that new friend of yours.”

His cheeks grow red. He won’t ever have Rin over for dinner. 

Yuuya adjusts the bags in his hands with another groan. It’s at least a twenty minute walk back to their house, and Yuuya dreads carrying so many groceries with him. How did Yoko not think this through? 

“What would you have done if I wasn’t here?”

“That doesn’t matter,” Yoko tells him.

Not a second later, Yuuya sighs heavily. “This is  _ heavy.” _

“It’ll only be heavier if you keep complaining like that.”

Yuuya bristles at her words. “That’s not how it works at –”

_ Beep beep! _

Once more, Yuuya jumps at the sound. This time though, it’s coming from a car, and not just any car. Through the wide front window Yuuya sees Mr. Heartland’s familiar, jovial face smiling at them. He waves a hand while he pulls his car into one of the street parking stalls. When he’s parked, he then flings open the door and hangs out of it.

“Need a hand?” he asks with such sarcasm in his voice that it has Yuuya blushing all over again. “I bet …” He taps a finger to his lips, smile growing wider, splitting apart his pale, stretchy face. “I bet I look like a god to you guys.”

_ Like a god in the middle of hell,  _ Yuuya thinks sardonically.

Yoko nods, head bouncing back and forth. “You do! Here, Yuuya, let’s get help.”

Yoko has never refused help before. Eagerly she begins dragging her bags over to Heartland’s old, beat-up car. They pile the groceries into the trunk, heaviest items on the bottom and lightest items on the top. When the trunk becomes too full, Heartland pops down one of the seats so they have more room to keep stacking groceries. He keeps laughing at them for buying too much, and he inflates his ego just a bit more each time he mentions that they would’ve had to walk so far with those groceries had he not been there.

“You were in town too, sir?” Yuuya asks as he puts away the last bag.

“Just out for a drive,” Heartland says. “I needed a break from marking paperwork.”

Yuuya and Yoko laugh at his words. Yuuya makes to get into the back seat, but Yoko gives him a push towards the front seat. “That’s your teacher, Yuuya – go sit with him and talk. I’ll hang out in the back.”

Heartland winks at him. He climbs into the driver’s seat, and Yuuya sits next to him. It’s the same, squished car as before. There is no plastic wrapper peeking out of the glovebox. Yuuya smiles as he remembers pulling open the glove box and watching all the candies pour out on the floor. Seeing Heartland so flustered had Yuuya laughing; it’s not a memory he ever had in the first timeline, but then again Yuuya’s become closer to everyone through befriending his classmates and keeping them safe. 

He spots Heartland watching him, and the two of them giggle together.

“What’s funny?” Yoko asks from the back seat.

“Nothing, nothing!” Yuuya says.

The car starts up and Heartland pulls back onto the road. Because of the crowded, busy streets, they can’t drive fast, but it gives Yuuya a chance to look out the window and see if he can spot Rin walking down the street. He doesn't know where her house is, or how far she has to walk home. He never got the chance to do that yesterday, and he was meant to find out today, but now … 

“What’s with that look, Yuuya?” Heartland asks.

“Nothing, sir …” He doesn’t spot Rin anywhere.

Yuuya looks back at Heartland. His teacher is … what is he, like thirty at most? Yuuya was around his age in 2006, only he didn’t have a successful career or any kind of grand responsibilities. However, beyond Heartland’s school life, Yuuya doesn’t know much about his teacher. If he’s going to have an ally, he should know about them …

“Sir, why haven’t you married?” The question comes out before he can reel it back.

It’s Heartland who jumps this time, eyebrows rising into his green hair. His head swings round and he gapes at Yuuya, his mouth so wide that Yuuya can even see his teeth and what might even be his tonsils. “W-what kind of question is that, Yuuya?”

“Sorry, sir, just –”

But Heartland cuts him off, suddenly growing a bit more serious through his panicked behaviour. “Like Yuuya, you don’t just ‘get married.’ A marriage, well, it needs a partner, and so you’ve gotta get to know someone well enough that they’ll be interested in you, and then you’ve gotta get to know that particular person, like their emotions and feelings, and …” He trails off, letting out a long, shaky breath. “That’s, that’s …”

Yuuya’s eyes drop to his lap. “I apologise, sir. That was too bold of a question.”

Surprisingly, Heartland shakes his head. His head turns to look over his shoulder; Yuuya thinks, at first, his teacher is doing a shoulder-check. However, his eyes fall on Yoko who’s passed out in the back seat. She props up her face with her hand on her pink cheek, eyes softly closed. The starlight slips through the window to make a halo on her golden hair caressing her heart-shaped face.

“Yuuya,” Heartland tells him, “one time I made a painful mistake … in a relationship, that is. I guess I’m a bit more cautious now, a bit more reserved.”

“You don’t have to tell me, sir.”

Once again, Heartland shakes his head. “It’s fine. I wasn’t bothered by your question.”

The car turns out of the city and down one of the main streets leading out to the suburbs. Yuuya doesn’t bother to look for Rin at this point. Now his mind is focused on Heartland, who, while  _ tap-tap-tapping  _ his fingers against the steering wheel, seems to be recalling details that Yuuya has never heard about. In eighteen years, he would have never dared ask his teacher such personal questions. But he’s become close with Heartland through saving Reira, and maybe now those questions can have answers.

“I guess I just …” Yuuya swallows. “I thought it was strange you weren’t married. You don’t have a ring on, at least.”

Heartland stopps drumming his fingers against the wheel and holds out one of his hands. “You’re very perceptive, Yuuya. I admire that about you.”

The praise warms his heart, but Yuuya’s expression remains firm. In this timeline, Yuuya needs to ask for help. He needs to trust in his friends that can help him make a difference.

“Sir, there was something else I wanted to ask you. How … do you approach a girl who doesn’t know you? I thought you might have more experience than me because you’re older and maybe you’ve dated before.”

Heartland raises an eyebrow. His teeth dig into his lip, appearing like he’s holding back a laugh. “Are you asking about relationship advice, Yuuya – from your teacher?”

“No sir,” Yuuya says, raising a hand. His cheeks grow hot, and he tries to ignore the snicker that escapes between Heartland’s pearly teeth and pink lips. “No sir, that’s not what I meant at all. What I mean is how do I become close with someone who I don’t know? I’m kind of stuck with this, and I need some help. I thought, since you are so much older than me –”

Heartland raises a hand to stop him from blabbering on. There’s a slight pause in his words where Heartland seems to debate what to say, but then he begins talking in a soft, wistful voice: “I see … Well, I’m rather shy myself, and I couldn’t just jump into a friendship. I wouldn’t even want to try rushing something in case it failed.”  _ Tap. Tap. Tap.  _ “So I think I’d begin by getting her guard down.”

Yuuya swallows hard. “… her guard down?”

Heartland chuckles. “I guess I’m not alway the best with words. To phrase that in a positive light, I’d want to get to know her more, and at the same time make myself more appealing.” 

The car turns down another road, this one eerily quiet. Most of the house lights are dimmed or off. Even with the front lights on, and the streetlamps lining the sidewalks, Yuuya feels the darkness closing in around him. It’s gotten colder too. He tugs his jacket closer to his body.

When Heartland sees him curled up in the passenger seat, he flicks on the heating. 

“Yuuya, what you need to do is make yourself seem appealing. You have to figure out what you’re good at, and then show it to her. Say, ‘I’m good at sports, I’m good at dueling, I’m good at art, I’m good at school.’ You can even show what you have: ‘My family is rich, I have this special video game.’ Everyone has something special about them, and that’s the weapon you’ll use.”

“Weapon?”

Again, Heartland laughs. “Just work with me here, Yuuya. When a woman takes interest in whatever you’re good at, she’ll let her guard down.”

The way Heartland’s say it makes Yuuya feel a bit queasy, but he understands the sentiment. Like Yuuma, Heartland’s another dorky adult figure who means well. He might come off as a bit strange, and at times even a bit  _ too  _ personable, but Yuuya knows he can trust in what Heartland’s telling him. In fact, Heartland’s words seem to speak truer than Yoko’s.

A short, dry laugh cuts off Yuuya’s thoughts.

“Don’t just believe me though,” Heartland keeps saying. “I’m really bad at telling my feelings to someone else, and I just believe in whatever theories I’ve learned through my many years.” Another chuckle, equally dry with a hint of desperation. Once more, Heartland looks over his shoulder at Yoko. He then looks back at Yuuya, eyes twinkling. “She’s still asleep, right?”

“I … think …” 

Heartland reaches over him and clicks open the glove box. This time, Yuuya is prepared to brace his hands under the latch so that the candies don’t spill out anywhere. It’s been a few days since Yuuya was in Heartland’s car, and there are even more candies this time: more lollipops in bright, nearly fluorescent colours; wrapped bubble gum candies; and even little squares of taffy and toffee.

With a soft cheer so as to not wake up Yoko, Yuuya scavenges inside the drawer for a red and green lollipop. Heartland already has three of them in his mouth, not caring in the slightest what flavour or colour they are. His stretchy cheeks bulge out like a chipmunk.

Just as Yuuya is closing the drawer, a hand falls on his shoulder. It can’t be Heartland’s – he’s driving!

“Gimme one please,” Yoko says. She’s undone her seatbelt, allowing her to stretch forward and, should she wish, reach into the glove box. She doesn’t though; she looks down at Yuuya with a smirk pinching her rosy lips, and Yuuya can’t help but laugh too – and groan internally – as he passes back a toffee and a lollipop to her.

Heartland pulls into the driveway not a moment later. With the candies in his mouth, it prevents him from saying much more than ‘Bye!’, but Yuuya still appreciates the sentiment. He and Yoko gather up their belongings from the trunk and carry them to the doorway before they wave goodbye. Then, sharing a secret smile together, they begin carrying the items into the house.

“What did you and your teacher talk about?” Yoko asks him as they pass each other bringing bags into the kitchen.

“Weren’t you eavesdropping?” Yuuya laughs. “We talked about making friends too.”

And to himself, Yuuya thinks,  _ Maybe Mr. Heartland has some strange ways about making friends, but tomorrow … tomorrow I’ll befriend Izayoi. I didn’t fail today. I still have some more chances. _

_ I can return from this.  _

* * *

The following day in school, Yuuya spends all of class thinking about how he’ll meet Rin. It must show on his face because Yuuri keeps glaring at him and Yuuto looks like he wants to ask him something, but neither of them can talk about it during class, and especially not while Yuugo is around. They still haven’t told him about the detective game, and Yuuya think it’s for the best.

When class is over, Yuugo is at his seat first though. 

“Let’s hang out today, Yuuya! Let’s build a snowman or go up the hill, anything!”

Yuuya shakes his head. “Sorry, Yuugo, but I already have plans today –”

“But you have plans  _ every  _ day, and so does everyone else.”

Coming to stand next to Yuuya’s desk, Yuuri mutters, “That’s because we’re studying, like you should be too.” He rolls his eyes, hiking his backpack up on one of his slim shoulders. “If you’re not gonna study, you might as well go home.”

Yuuya closes his eyes and waits for Yuugo to explode like he always does and lash out at Yuuri, but he’s surprised when all he hears are the sounds of loud, thumping footsteps on the floor, and then the crash of the door as it flies open and slams closed. A second later, Yuuya opens his eyes. Yuugo is nowhere in sight. Yuuya can still hear him though stomping down the hallway.

“That was pretty rude,” Yuuto says to Yuuri. “I know you didn’t want him to follow us, but it’s not Yuugo’s fault that he can’t be in this game.”

“Now we know he won’t follow us,” Yuuri mutters. His eyes shift around; most of the students have cleaned up their desks yet. Other than the three of them, the only other student is Serena, who’s still alone and writing at her desk. Yuuya wonders if they should be worried about Serena overhearing, but unlike Yuugo who will storm away, Serena wouldn’t back down from a fight with Yuuri. She’d be at his throat in an instant, two predators lunging at one another.

“Did you figure out Izayoi’s address?” Yuuto asks. 

Yuuya shakes his head. “About that … I actually ended up running into our teacher last night, and my mom, and it was a huge mess. Sorry.”

Yuuto doesn’t seem deterred, expression unwavering. He even smiles a bit. “What are we going to do then? Entertain her? Draw a manga for her?”

Yuuya smothers a hand to his mouth to cover his chuckles. Next to him, Yuuri rolls his eyes at both of them.

“Actually, it was kind of good that I met with Mr. Heartland yesterday. He gave me some tips on how to befriend Izayoi, and Mama did too. I think, even if I don’t know her, I still have a chance. I have to have hope in myself, and take the chance to befriend Izayoi.”

Yuuri raises an eyebrow, leaning forward on Yuuya’s desk. “Even if you might be labelled a ‘creep?’”

“I’m not a creep if I’m protecting her.”

_ I  _ won’t  _ let Izayoi be alone. _

When neither Yuuto nor Yuuri say anything, Yuuya claps his hands together and stands. He pulls on his backpack and zips up his sweater that he’s worn today. “Besides, I’m not creepy for just wanting to talk with her. I’m approaching her as a friend, and if I’m honest and kind, I hope she’ll like me.”

“Whatever,” Yuuri says, following after him. 

Yuuto flanks his other side with a mysterious smile, one that Yuuya can’t quite place but that makes his heart soar.

_ You won’t be alone, Izayoi. I’ll make sure of it. _


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm currently in the process of splitting up chapters and re-organising this fic, so let it be said that there will be more than 49 chapters; thus, we've still got a long ways to go before the end (:
> 
> thank you for sticking with me ^^

_ _

_ It’s a day to celebrate … isn’t it? _

_ Yuuya looks around at the streamers hanging throughout the classroom, tied to the ceiling and to the window frames. Handmade decorations are hung around the walls, separated by large canvases that the class has completed throughout the year. Some of the best poetry is framed on the walls too. And of course, the class anthology is there on Heartland’s messy desk. _

_ “Congratulations, Class 5-D!” Heartland says to them. He claps his hand several times at the front of the class to gather their attentions, and then smiles widely at the cherubic faces that look back up at him. Yuuya tries to look ahead, but his vision dwindles halfway through and he ends up toying with the end of his mechanical pencil. _

_ After all, it’s not like everyone in the class is looking anyways. There are two empty desks where two students should be – a student that Yuuya barely knew, Akaba Reira … and a student Yuuya knew well, Tenjouin Yuuri.  _

_ There’s an empty hole in Yuuya’s chest when he looks at that desk. His teacher never bothered to take it away, perhaps because it’s only just a desk, nothing more … But it’s something to Yuuya, a cruel reminder of how terrible death can be, how easily it can take the life of one of his friends. One day, Yuuri didn’t show up to school. He was kidnapped, and later killed, by a serial kidnapper who preyed on two girls: first Akaba Reira, and then Izayoi Rin.  _

How could this happen?  _ Yuuya thinks to himself, but his mind and body are too raw to think of answers. _

_ Once more, Heartland claps his hands. He taps his fingers on the table next, sounds that have always been familiar in Yuuya’s ears:  _ tap, tap, tap.

_ “Everyone, I’d like to make an announcement for your graduation.” _

_ The room silences. Yuuya’s gaze rises to meet Heartland’s: he’s standing at the head of the class, hands clasped together. As usual, he’s dressed ostentatiously, and his green-rimmed glasses only accentuate the wild look. His face looks like a frog’s from the way his cheeks blow out whenever he talks, and the way his beady eyes only become smaller behind his frames. _

_ “Everyone, a lot of things have happened this year – good things, bad things; successes and failures. You’re graduating from elementary school today. That doesn’t mean you are on the path to success though, or even failure. Humbly, I say that you have many shortcomings … as do I.” _

_ Yuuya sighs. This is a bleak speech. _

_ “But” – Heartland holds up a hand – “I personally believe that life is all about how you’re filling up what’s missing.” _

* * *

“She’s by herself.”

Rin sits on a bench alone, green hair tucked behind her pierced ears. She’s deeply entranced by a book on her lap. She’s also easily taller than both of them, and in the evening sunset her shadow stretches all the way across the pavement to where Yuuya, Yuuto, and Yuuri crouch behind a bush watching her. Yuuya doesn’t need to know where Rin lives to keep her safe. This is the  _ other  _ hour that she’s by herself – the time between music class and cram school – and it’s up to Yuuya and his friends to make sure she’s never alone.

They must break the second condition.

“The card game guy isn’t here with her,” Yuuto comments.

Yuuya looks up, scowling briefly. “You mean Hope, Yuuto. And yeah, I guess he doesn’t hang out with her everyday. He might be working, or maybe he just stops by sometimes to keep her company.”  _ Besides,  _ Yuuya thinks,  _ it’s unreasonable to think Yuuma, who has a job and an adult life, can spend all his time around Izayoi.  _

_ Today, Rin could be kidnapped. Today, the condition is met. _

_ I need to … I need to “fill up” this time. _

Yuuya peeks over the hedge once more. Rin doesn't look unfriendly at all. She looks a bit older than them, like her and Yuuto might have similar, wise perspectives. She doesn’t look unapproachable though. She smiles from time to time, curling into herself when particularly large gusts of air whoosh by her and stir up the plaid scarf wrapped around her neck.

“Let’s go and talk to her.”

Yuuri is quick to shoot it down: “What are you even going to talk to her about? She’s a  _ stranger.” _

“Well …” Yuuya smiles brightly. “I learned a bit about her from Hope. She plays an instrument and she loves to read. She’s apparently really smart and studies hard in school, which is why she also goes to cram school. However, she gets pretty lonely because she doesn't have a lot of free time to hang out with her friends. Maybe she doesn’t like all those responsibilities.” Sighing, Yuuya tucks his hands in his pockets. “And still, I don’t need to know everything about her. I just need to break the ice with her, and talk about something that she’s familiar with.”

_ What did Mr. Heartland call it again? Letting her guard down? _

Yuuya hops out from behind the bushes before Rin can catch him. He brushes down his arms and legs so that no grass or dirt is on him. Then he puts on his best smile and begins walking towards her. On her third step, Rin looks up from her book and spots him.

Yuuya raises his hand to wave at her. “Hi there!”

Rin’s expression hardens at once, like a stone statue closed up from everyone. “Um, hi?”

Setting a hand against his chest, Yuuya says, “I'm Sakaki Yuuya, a fifth-grader from Heartland Academy. And these two here” – he motions to Yuuto and Yuuri, both who have come to stand beside him – “are my friends, Kamishiro Yuuto and –”

Yuuri’s elbow drives into his side, causing Yuuya to cough and mangle his words.

“Tenjouin Yuuri.” Voice like silk – or poison – Yuuri stands with his hands shoved deep into his pockets and his trademark shit-eating grin on his face. Bent in half, Yuuya peeks through his bangs to glower at Yuuri. They are supposed to be making a good first impression for Rin, but already Yuuya can feel her judging them.

Oh.

She is. Her eyes, once golden, are molten now, staring all three of them down. She’s closed her book, finger tucked between the pages to mark where she has read, and she’s given them her full, undivided attention. Rin has a presence to her that commands everyone stare at her. She’s a bit like a mother, in a way – taller than all of them too, which only make her seem more like an adult.

“Have I met …  _ any  _ of you before?”

Yuuya shakes his head, then stops himself when he realises how this might affect his next words. “Um, you’re Izayoi Rin, aren’t you?”

“... yeah.”

She doesn't trust them – it’s clear by how closed off she’s become. She’s just as distant as Reira when Yuuya first met him. However, Yuuya befriended Reira. He can befriend Rin.

“I heard you play a musical instrument!”

At these words, Rin’s face softens – not by much, but enough so that her cheeks aren’t so chiselled, her eyes aren’t stone walls blocking out her emotions. Rin looks a bit more human. She scoots forward, attention now caught by the three boys in front of her. “Yeah, I play the hichikiri.”

_ The … what?  _ Yuuya doesn't even know what that instrument is, or what it might even look like. His knowledge of instruments ranges from guitars to trumpets to drums, and flutes and clarinets in between. What in the  _ world  _ does Rin play?

Side-eyeing his friends, neither Yuuto nor Yuuri seem to be offering anything to say to that. Yuuya swallows. 

Rin continues: “I love traditional Shinto music, like wedding songs! Don’t you agree?”

Yuuya nods.

Rin doesn't miss a beat. “So what’s your favourite?”

And Yuuya stumbles over his next words. “My … my …” He doesn’t have a favourite. Hell, he doesn’t even know what Rin is talking about – for all he knows, she’s speaking Mandarin. Neither Yuuto nor Yuuri seem to have any clue either, and so the three boys stand there with their mouths hanging open. Yuuya doesn’t have any words to tell Rin. 

Not a moment later, all of Rin’s barriers go right up. She looks away from them, rolling her eyes much like Serena does during class, and goes back to her book. 

This time, it’s Yuuto who speaks up. He comes to take a seat next to her, and smiles gently when she begins to lean back. She must be even warier of them now that they’ve shown they have few interests with her. However, Yuuya has hope in Yuuto. He wouldn’t do something brashly.

“What are you reading there?” Yuuto asks, tilting his head so that he can catch a glimpse of the cover. 

Rin holds it up for him to see, once more brightening at someone pointing out her interests. “It’s Shakespeare!”

Yuuto visibly deflates. His mouth falls open and he pulls himself back a bit. Yuuya knows a bit about Shakespeare from studying it in English class, but after failing to understand one of Rin’s interests, he’s wary to try and guess again. Rin doesn’t seem to appreciate them just picking up on her favourite things. It seems she wants someone she can really talk to, and until Yuuya finds out her interests, he’ll just be guessing.

“I’ve … only read Romeo and Juliet,” Yuuto admits.

Yuuya sighs. That’s the only one he’s read too. Rin’s holding up a copy of King Lear though, bound in leather and looking like it belongs in the archives instead of an elementary schooler’s hands. However, judging by how intently Rin was reading it beforehand, it appears she enjoys English literature.

“C-can I see it?” Yuuya asks, holding out a hand for the book.

Rin passes it to him with a flimsy smile. “My parents want me to grow up well-versed in the arts, even though what I really want to do is race motorbikes. I like playing instruments and reading books, don’t get me wrong, but I will tell you that Shakespeare isn’t for everyone.” She laughs at her own joke, a clear note that bounces through the open air. 

However, it’s a spark of hope. Yuuya sees Rin become more animated and open. She hops off her spot on the bench and stands before them, holding both arms out wide. “I’ve actually been studying Shakespeare all year. Listen to this.” She clears her throat, and then recites: “‘False face must hide what the false heart doth know.” 

Rin, it appears, is a prodigy. Her voice is loud and clear, a sound so pleasing to the ears that Yuuya is surprised birds don’t sing along and flowers bloom across the clearing. She has an aura to her that makes her more interesting the longer Yuuya stands before her. However, not a second later Rin is back on the bench and kicking her legs back and forth, toying with the edges of her plaid school skirt.

“My parents are kinda silly sometimes, enrolling me into all these fancy programs that  _ adults  _ should be studying, not kids. Don’t you think?”

Yuuya swallows. What does he say to her? What’s the right answer for Rin?

“‘And worst I may be yet: the worst is no so long as we can say “this is the worst.”’”

Yuuya’s head spins so fast he nearly gives himself whiplash. Of all the people he thought would know about Shakespeare, Yuuri is not among them. Yuuri seemed as likely to know Shakespeare as  _ Yuugo,  _ and yet there Yuuri is, standing next to Yuuya with the biggest grin on his face. Yuuya doesn’t know where those words came from, but they mean something to Rin. Her face splits in an equally large grin, and she jumps up and down in glee.

“I just read that part! I just – Tenjouin-chan, you said your name is? You’ve read King Lear too?”

“Tenjouin _ -kun,”  _ Yuuri corrects, “but just drop the honorific. And yeah, I read it over the summer for some light reading.” His next words drip off his tongue. “It’s a pretty easy read for me, actually – once you get used to Shakespeare’s work, it’s a piece of cake.”

Rin’s eyes crinkle in amusement. “Oh really, you say? Well, I’ve had some troubles, but that’s to be expected. No normal elementary schooler is gonna understand a play you have to read in  _ high school.” _

Yuuri bristles. “Well  _ I _ understood it, and  _ I’m _ a normal elementary schooler.”

Despite the roughness of their tones and the fierceness in the way their faces scrunch together, Yuuya knows that they’ve befriended Rin. Rin has begun to talk to them, begun to open herself up like a secret present. In the past, Rin was the victim Yuuya knew the least about. He knew she was from another elementary school, and that she was ten years old when she was killed. Other than that, she was simply another face in the news. 

But Rin is much, much more than that. She’s lively. She’s bright, friendly, and excitable, like Yuugo. She reminds Yuuya of Yuugo in the way she keeps bickering with Yuuri – only she’s smarter than Yuugo in subjects like literature and music, so she has the upper hand in conversations. She doesn’t budge or give in easily when her words are confronted. 

Despite how busy she is, Yuuya thinks she must be a likeable girl at her elementary school. She must have friends that she hangs out with, and just because of fate and pressures she can’t hang out with them after classes. 

_ She’s so different from Reira,  _ Yuuya thinks. If it weren’t for this single hour alone, Izayoi Rin could never be a victim. She’s too popular, too noticeable … but there was something about her that the killer spotted. The killer wasn’t looking for a particular type of victim, like a very young child or a pretty girl. He wasn’t even looking for girls that would be quiet.

The killer looked for girls that were alone. 

“Hey, boys.”

Yuuya looks up. 

Rin has one finger pointed out towards the river, where the hill dips off first into a boardwalk and then into the water. On the other side is a matching hill that Yuuya’s played along, and a boardwalk and road he’s frequently walked across, and –

The secret base.

It’s there, just a basic, stone building with a simple door and a window. It’s an abandoned storage shed, probably once meant to hold equipment should the river flood its banks. However, Yuuya and the other boys have brought games and food inside that, should an adult ever find it, there would be an investigation. 

Rin points specifically at the hideout. “Aren’t you those dumb boys always playing in that abandoned shed?”

Yuuya and Yuuto wince, and Yuuri growls low in his throat.

“Uh, you mean our hideout?” Yuuya inclines his head towards it. “Yeah, we play there.”

Rin folds her arms in front of her, lips pursed. She looks a bit too much like Serena, or like an overprotective mother. “Typical,” she mutters. “You guys really are a bunch of children.”

“And what the hell do you think you think you are?” Yuuri snaps. “You’re a kid too!”

“How. Childish.”

Yuuto flinches at the words. For the first time, Yuuya hears Yuuto stumble – clearly, loudly, like he’s a fish out a water. 

Jumping to his rescue, Yuuya throws a hand out between Yuuri and Rin in case they charge at each other. “Hey, there’s no need to say that!”

“Touch a nerve?” Rin says, tongue pressed into her cheek. “Little children like you like to make secret bases and play hero games. You don’t do anything fun even, just dumb games.”

Yuuya hears a rustle in the bushes behind them, and winces at the thought that an adult might get to witness Yuuri strangle a kid. At the moment, Yuuri’s hands are clenching and unclenching; even Yuuya feels uneasy here, ready to bolt at any moment. Just a few minutes before they were all laughing together, enjoying being friends. However, Rin seems anything but interested in befriending them now, and her words have become poisoned daggers.

“You have half a mind to just start swinging a stick around.” To prove her point, she does the motion, clasping her hands one on top of the other and swinging her arms out.

Yuuto raises an eyebrow. “That’s even more childish, you know?”

Rin stops, eyes narrowing at him. “You know,” she mocks, voice soft and scratchy, “boys tell me that ‘girls are no fun.’ That’s why you’re over there hiding in that dirty building, aren’t you?” She shuffles at her feet, but even with her head down her next words are clear. “Aren’t you?”

“Well –”

Holding up a hand, Rin silences them. “I have to go to cram school now. See ya, whoever you are.” She gathers up her bag and slips it onto her back. Before she goes, she gives each and every one of them a rather harsh look, nothing like the smile she had before talking about Shakespeare. Then her eyes narrow at a spot just behind Yuuya.

“Who is …”

“WAIT!” 

It’s a clear, strong voice, a bit too confident in some ways, but still different than Yuuri’s. It’s a voice Yuuya never expected to hear, and he’s still surprised when he turns around. Yuugo stands with his arms and legs spread out like a starfish to block Rin from leaving. His face is twisted in what appears to be a stern expression, but on Yuugo’s baby-fat face it just looks like he’s puffing out his cheeks.

He gets Rin to stop though. She folds her arms in front of her chest, and in much the way a condescending adult would talk to a child, she says, “And just  _ what  _ are you doing?”

Yuugo doesn't take the bait – at least not yet. He thumps a hand to his chest, popping his cheeks out even wider, and exclaims, “A hideout is a child’s dream!”

Hand connects with face. Yuuya nearly does a spit take too, and he’s glad he doesn’t because he can neither breathe nor look at Yuugo who has managed, for once, to remain wholly calm and collected. Next to him, Yuuto and Yuuri look equally shocked. They both look like they’ve been suckerpunched by Yuugo’s words which of course don’t end there, oh no, Yuugo is still talking.

“You’ll see just how great our hideout is when you come to it! You won’t be let down, Rin-rin!”

And Yuuya does choke, hand clutching his chest so that he can get a proper breath in. Yuugo … Yuugo … a nickname?! They don’t know the girl at all! 

Standing across from him, Rin seems petrified at first. She looks like a child in that moment before Yuugo – and then every emotional barrier goes up and she storms away with her hands in fists and her head bowed, refusing to meet any of their stares. “What a bunch of weirdos,” she growls behind her. 

Whirling around, Yuugo shouts back, “You’ll see, Rin-rin!”

How Yuugo came up with the same name as Yuuma, Yuuya will never know. All his mind can think of is how majorly, epicly, they have failed.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the lack of updates last week - my girlfriend came out to see me and we took time for ourselves (:  
> updates will resume as scheduled (:
> 
> also please note that there is not definitive chapter count. thus far, i have the story split into 63 chapters; however, i suspect at least another dozen more ^W^ this story is rolling!

Yuuya holds up a hand, one foot out the door and the other still hovering at the edge of the genkan. He’s dressed up warm, jacket and gloves and scarf and all, and this time the wind doesn’t have a chance to nip quite so hard at his cheeks and nose.

“I’m off!”

“Wait!” Yoko says back. She comes tumbling out from the bedroom, dressed, with a hairbrush in her hands.

“... what?” Yuuya says.

“Bring your friends home today – all of them. I bought too much at the grocery store and some ingredients will expire soon. Instead of wasting food, let’s eat together.”

Yuuya wants to tell her that this is exactly  _ why  _ she shouldn’t overshop at the grocery store, but he holds his tongue for a moment longer. He hasn’t had his friends over in a while, not since the birthday party when he ate cake and sandwiches with everyone. Since then, he’s been play the detective game with Yuuto and Yuuri, and they all go home afterwards. 

“I’ll be busy for a while …” Yuuya says, though his words waver. Yesterday, Rin spotted him lingering outside of her cram school and she chased him off. He doesn’t want to risk getting spotted by her again, but he can’t just leave her at school by herself. It’s up to him, Yuuto, and Yuuri today to figure out a game plan.

Yoko shrugs though. “That’s fine, come home anytime after 5 pm.”

“I’m gonna be later than that …”

She winks at him, shoulders bouncing the golden curls dancing at her chest and twirling down her back. “That’s fine. Have a good day, Yuuya!”

He raises a hand once more, waving with a smile that doesn’t feel forced. “Bye, Mama!”

That smile disappears when he’s out the door though. He has class today. He, Yuuto, and Yuuri need to figure out a way to keep Rin safe, which won’t be easy since she knows who they are and what school they go to. Maybe she’ll even come to their school and follow them around, or she’ll find a new place to hide away. 

_ I thought I had a chance. I had hope.  _ She had become interested in what Yuuri was saying, and for a moment their friendship seemed likely. However, Yuuya thinks perhaps Rin is too different from all of them. Maybe fifth-grade girls aren’t interested in befriending ‘childish’ boys.

Yuuya kicks up a flurry of snow with his shoes, eyebrows crinkling above the bridge of his nose. With Reira, it was easier. With Reira, Yuuya knew what to do. He’d run through the timeline once before. 

But with Rin …

It’s hard to keep her safe.

_ Are you stupid?  _ Yuuya asks himself. 

_ I am,  _ he answers.

A sparkle in the snow catches his eye, a glimmer that makes him wince and glance up and –

Reira. She’s across the street, still wearing her dark trench coat and red scarf and the same mittens that he gave her for her birthday. Her long, violet hair catches in the sun that’s now beaming down on her like a halo. Just to the side, there’s a bus parked a few feet down that Yuuya suspects she just got off from – it’s a interdimensional bus that would travel around the four cities. 

Reira spots him staring and her face breaks out into a joyous, symphonious smile. “Good morning, Yuuya!”

“Re-reira?” Yuuya babbles, looking left and right and up and down to see if there are any clues to explain what’s happening. Reira was at her grandmother’s place. Reira was living in Academia, never supposed to return. He  _ saved  _ Reira and took her away from Heartland City so that the killer could never come after her. However, here she is, unharmed, face clean and bright, and just across the street from him.

In just a couple steps, Yuuya could hold her hand.

He dashes forward to meet her.

At once, Reira throws up a hand. “Yuuya, stop!”

A truck comes barrelling down the street, narrowly missing where Yuuya was once running. Yuuya himself falls back from the road and tumbles into a soft, albeit dirty, snowbed. The truck had nearly hit him; Yuuya can still feel the breeze on his chilled cheeks, and he swallows.

Reira is still across the street though, her eyes as wide as saucers. She takes a quick glance left and right to see if any cars are coming, and then crosses the street to meet him. Yuuya’s legs feel too much like jelly for him to get up. Reira crouches down before him, tucking her school skirt behind her.

“Are you –”

Yuuya nods. Then he chuckles shakily. “I guess … I mean …” He shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts that jumble in his mind. “Good morning, Reira.”

With a smile, Reira stands and extends his hand. Yuuya takes it and Reira helps him up to his feet, bracing Yuuya’s body against his when he stumbles.

“You’re OK?” Reira says after that. She brushes the snow from Yuuya’s arms and legs, dusting him off so that he looks a bit more presentable. Cheeks burning, Yuuya tries to clean himself up as well. The snow along the road is dirty and dusty, and both his jacket and pants are damp from the fall.

“I’m … OK,” Yuuya says. “Honest.”

Reira’s face falls at once, her cheeks puffing out and her lips pursing tight together. “Are you stupid?” she says after a moment. 

Yuuya blinks – and then he laughs, falling forward because he can’t hold himself up right, not now, not knowing that Reira, who he protected, has come back. Reira isn’t missing from Heartland City anymore: he’s here, with him, smiling. Every time Yuuya looks back up at Reira, he only smiles wider and laughs harder.

“Are you OK?” Reira keeps asking him, now looking quite alarmed that maybe the truck did bonk him, or that he bumped his head falling back into the snow. But Yuuya just keeps shaking his head, not bothering to smother his laughter until his breath comes out in pants and he has to keep walking to school. 

Reira is back.

He came back to Heartland.

“We should really go to school …” Reira says after a moment.

Trying to sober his laughter, Yuuya sneaks a glance up. He coughs hard into a fist to clear his throat, and says, “Wait … school?”

“I am still in your class … right?” His eyes harden. “Mr. Heartland didn’t remove my seat, did he?”

_ He never has,  _ Yuuya thinks, remembering his sixth grade graduation when there were two empty seats in the classroom. “No, your desk is still there. But … how?”

_ How are you still here? _

Reira tugs him forward and begins walking to school. Her hand never lets go of his, and for the moment Yuuya lets himself lapse into her silence. Just like all the days before when they walked to school together, once more he and Reira will make the trip. Yuuya’s heart treasures the moment, the muffled thumps of their feet on the snowy pavement, the whispers of their breaths in the morning air.

Reira stays silent for a while, but he never lets go. He walks even with Yuuya, looking more alive than he ever has.

“Mr. Heartland invited me back, actually.” His voice cuts through the silence. “I’m thankful to live with my grandmother, and to be in that lovely house … but Academia isn’t where my life is. I live in Heartland City, with you and Yuuto and Yuuri and Yuugo. You all are my friends, and you’re …”

His voices dwindles off, and returns even stronger. “This is my second to last year of elementary school – my final month of fifth grade even. Mr. Heartland told the agency that I shouldn’t be separated from my friends, and that while my life here might have been bleak at times, that I still had hope in this city. I didn’t want to leave everyone either.”

_ Because I got Mr. Heartland to act, I stopped a tragedy from occuring. Because of Mr. Heartland, Reira never left this dimension. _

“I’m going to graduate elementary school with you, Yuuya.”

The hand in his has never felt warmer. 

They head in through the school gates and into the building, only letting go when they have to take off their winter clothes and put on their indoor shoes. When he’s done, Yuuya waits for Reira so that they can walk up to the classroom together. All around them Yuuya hears whispers of students asking why Reira is back in Heartland Academy. While it hasn’t been long since she went away, her presence has been sorely missed. In fact, Yuuya notes that more students are talking about Reira in this timeline. It’s as if she matters more here.

Reira was never missing.

When they get to the classroom door, Yuuya’s hand hovers at the handle. Does everyone else know about Reira returning to class? What will everyone say?

“What are you doing?” Reira mutters, a tinge of a chuckle under her words. She pulls open the door.

At first, no one looks at them – they’re all much too engrossed in their own conversations. Then it’s Yuugo who noticed first, and the moment his eyes lock onto Reira his mouth opens wide and he bellows, “Akaba’s back!”

That gathers the entire classroom’s attention. All eyes turn to face Yuuya and Reira, both still in the doorway and holding hands. Yuuya thinks about letting go so as to not embarrass Reira further, but Reira just clings tighter to Yuuya and pulls them into the room. Reira doesn’t seem bothered by the attention at all. 

“Akaba, you’re back!”

“How?”

“Why?”

Questions spring forth at once, bombarding Reira from the dozens of students now crowding around him. Yuuya holds tight to Reira’s hand and tries to pull her back, only the small crowd is a lot stronger than it appears, and Yuuya feels himself losing a battle for Reira’s attention. Students keep pushing forward, vying for more and more of Reira.

_ Clap, clap, clap. _

The other classroom door has opened, and Heartland steps through with his trademark twinkle in his eyes. As their teacher, he’s the only one able to gather everyone’s attention. At once, the mob moves away from Reira, standing sheepishly nearby. They look guiltily down at their feet. Yuuya scowls at them.

“It seems you’ve all found Reira. He’ll be in our class for the rest of the year. We’re happy to have you back, Reira. I’m sure all of us have missed you dearly.”

Eighteen years ago, life moved on without Reira.

Today though …

Yuuya squeezes Reira’s hand one last time before he takes his seat. Now that Heartland’s here, everyone has begun to meander back to their desks and pull out their notebooks. Reira takes his place kitty-corner to Yuuya, pulling out a shiny, new journals and two gel-pens. When her skirt brushes up her legs, Yuuya only sees the outline of old bruises – nothing new. 

All class, Reira pays attention. Yuuya, unfortunately, can only pay attention to Reira.

By the end of class, Yuuya isn’t even sure what lessons Heartland taught, but his mind is alight and spinning. As soon as the lesson ends Yuugo is up and out of his seat, tugging on Yuuya’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey! We should take Akaba to the secret base today since it’s not snowing. I don’t think he ever got to see, did he?”

Yuuya shakes his head. It has been a long, cold winter, and it’s snowed every day Yuuya ever thought it was a good time to take Reira out. Today though it’s a bit warmer and brighter. Out the window Yuuya spots the glowing sun bathing the school field in golden light. From this high up in the classroom he can even see the river snaking through Heartland City, and the snowy banks that border either side of it. Somewhere along those banks is the hideout.

By this point, Reira and Yuuri have come along to stand by Yuuya’s desk, and Yuuto has looked up from his book with a cryptic smile. 

“Hideout?” Reira repeats.

Yuugo turns to her at once. “Yeah, a secret hideout that we boys have! We only let a few, very important people come –”

“You told a girl she could come not a few days ago, Yuugo,” Yuuri mutters.

“And  _ anyways”  _ – Yuugo glowers at Yuuri – “since you’re our friend, Akaba, you should come check it out too.”

It sounds like a good idea in theory, and one that Yuuya wishes he said instead of Yuugo; however, if Reira is still living with her grandmother, and she still lives in Academia …

“What about your bus?” Yuuya asks.

Reira’s smile doesn’t falter. “That bus runs regularly, and I can always take the train too if I stay late. Besides …” She toys with the strings of her scarf, not meeting any of their eyes. “I’ve never been to a hideout before.”

With a cheer that echoes through the  _ entire  _ classroom, Yuugo claps Reira on the shoulder. “That’s awesome, it’s settled! You’re coming with us!”

Across the classroom, Yuuya hears Heartland tell them, “Everyone, you need to go home before it gets too late. At least, you need to be out of the classroom – there are much better places to be than at your desks.” With one last chuckle, his eyes fall on Yuuya … and next to Yuuya is Reira. Yuuya doesn’t miss Heartland’s wink.

With plans settled, Yuuya and the others gather up their belongings and head out of the classroom. Yuugo leads them at the front, marching and cheering and being his usual, goofy self. Just behind him is Yuuri, face-palming, but still managing to smile at the silliness. Yuuto walks in line with Yuuya and Reira, silent but content. No matter where Yuuya looks, forwards or backwards, his friends are with him. Once more, he doesn't let go of Reira’s hand. In fact, he can’t.

The five of them all march out of the school and down the street. The river is just outside of the city centre, down one of the major roads that Yuuya has walked so many times before. However, Yuuya hasn’t been to the secret base in  _ ages –  _ eighteen years ago, in fact. He’s only ever seen it across the water, a tall, concrete building with a locked door and windows at the top that they had to stand on boxes to peek through. It’s not quite the sight from the outside, but when Yuuya looks to his side, Reira’s eyes are glistening.

To get into the hideout, they have to sneak under the back fence. Why there’s a fence only surrounding half the building is beyond Yuuya's comprehension since it isn’t even keeping anything gated, but there’s a hole in the fence just big enough for them to crawl through. 

“Why don’t we use the door?” Reira whispers to Yuuya.

It’s Yuuri who answers sardonically: “Because it’s way cooler to sneak in.”

Reira raises an eyebrow. “You mean … the door isn’t open?”

“Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t,” Yuuya explains. 

All five of them have to lie down on their bellies and crawl through the hatch. It’s little more than a place where the earth and snow have been dug away from the bottom of the fence, and the end of the fence has been curled upwards just enough to make a narrow opening. They crawl under the fence one by one, pushing their backpacks through first and then their bodies.

Next, they have to climb through the window. Yuugo, the most athletic of them, charges forward at full force. When he’s just below the window, he launches upwards to grab at the windowsill; below him, his legs kick and push against the concrete so that he can boost himself up. However, instead of rolling through the window, he hangs himself through it and holds his hands down. His grin is teasing, almost looking like the same shit-eating grin –

“All right,  _ Yuuri-O,  _ your turn.”

“Don’t you dare call me that,” Yuuri growls. He pushes his backpack up in Yuugo’s face, and then takes a couple steps back to prepare for the run. Unlike Yuugo who’s built thick and sturdy, Yuuri is a waif of a boy, twig legs and arms. When he rushes forward, he only jumps half the distance as Yuugo. It’s enough though. Yuugo grabs hold of Yuuri’s hands and hauls him up.

“Hey, use your feet, Yuuri! Don’t make me do all the work.” Groaning, Yuugo lifts Yuuri up the rest of the way until Yuuri can get his hands and one knee on the windowsill and vault himself over. He disappears into the warehouse, but Yuugo remains at the top.

“You’re next, Yuuto.”

Yuuto jumps higher, and far enough away from Yuugo that he can show how strong he is. He’s able to get all the way up on his own without any help from Yuugo.

“Yuuya, you want help?” Yuugo asks him. 

Yuuya shakes his head. There’s a piece of the building that juts out a bit more; if Yuuya pushes off from there, it’ll give him enough of a boost to reach for the windowsill. From there, he’ll be strong enough to pull himself up and into the building. He’ll even be strong enough to help Reira too.

With a shrug, Yuugo says, “Suit yourself,” and disappears into the building.

Rubbing his hands together, Yuuya prepares for the jump. He blows hard on them for good luck, and then shakes them out. Then he runs, feet digging into the deep snow. Inches away from the building he shoots up like a sprout. His hands don’t reach for the windowsill, at least not yet. He instead places them along the wall. When his foot hits the ledge, that’s when Yuuya jumps again, throwing himself upwards, hands scrabbling on the rough concrete –

_ Slap!  _ His fingers hit the cold, rusting metal of the windowsill. Groaning, Yuuya heaves himself upwards. His feet kick out at the wall, which he uses to boost himself up enough that he can get a leg over the windowsill and roll out onto it.

He’s … up.

“Pass me my backpack, will you, Reira?” He asks. “And yours too. Then you’ll be the last one up.”

Reira brings him both backpacks which Yuuya tosses to the floor of the hideout. Then, turning back to Reira, he hangs a hand down for Reira to grab onto; the other one he uses to steady himself on the windowsill. He even squeezes his thighs to keep himself in place.

“Just run at me,” he tells Reira, “and reach out for my hand. I’ll lift you up.”

Reira doesn’t hesitate for a second: she runs right to him, hair flying behind her, catching in the sun. When she’s a foot away from him, she springs upwards, and her mittened hands reach out to grab his. As soon as Yuuya feels her hands, he closes his fingers round them and  _ heaves  _ with all his might. Reira’s toes scrabble against the wall, bumping her up. With his other hand Yuuya reaches under Reira’s armpit to get him up too and pull him over the ledge.

It’s over before it’s done. Reira balances in the window, one leg outside, one leg inside. 

“This … is your hideout,” she says.

“Come on inside,” Yuuya says.

The inside out the hideout looks a lot like Yuuma’s attic: dirty, dusty, and filled with far too much junk. At one point the hideout was rather bland, and then Yuugo began bringing stuff from his house to fill it up. Now though, it looks like a hoarder’s place. There are shelves upon shelves of manga and light novels, toys and board games that they’ve carried to and never from the hideout. There are entire cupboards with sodas and bags of chips, some of which Yuuya worries might be expired.

When they first found this place, the only thing this room had was a table. The table is still here, weighed down by several more books and toys. There are four chairs all around it, but both Yuugo and Yuuri sit atop the table bickering amongst themselves. Next to the table is where Yuuto has set up several blankets and pillows used to make a nest of sorts. He’s curled up there with one of his books, but two pillows sit right by him waiting for someone to rest with him.

Never once have any of them cleaned it. It’s a secret base of sorts though. In the summer, Yuuya remembers opening every single window to let the breeze (and pollen) in. They’d dip their toes in the river or run along the grassy banks. Even in the winter they’d skip out and roll down the hills until they became too cold.

In a way, this hideout reminds Yuuya of the bus he and Yuuto hid Reira in. It’s a bit more roomy unless you count all the stuff packed into here, and there’s more people inside of it. 

From his spot at the table, Yuugo holds up an open chip bag. “Can we still eat this?”

Yuuri makes a face. “It’s stale, Yuugo –”

“But not rotten, right? It’s too cold for food to go rotten.”

“That doesn’t mean you should  _ eat it.”  _

Reira chuckles into his hand.

“Do you want juice?” Yuuya asks. “You can make yourself comfortable here, read a book or play a game.”

Reira seems to not hear his words though, glancing around and taking in the four walls, windows, and all the junk inside this hideout. “So this is the kind of place you hung out in then … before you met me, right?”

“Before it started snowing,” Yuuya corrects. His gaze wanders around the room too, then settles on a pair of … Oh. Those are his gloves that he’d lost. It’s been so long since he’s been here, and they’ve been at the hideout this entire time. Quickly, Yuuya shoves them into the back of a drawer and out of view. As far as Reira is concerned, Yuuya has never worn any gloves but the ones she made for him.

“Do you want to play a game?” Yuuya asks Reira. “We’ve got all sorts of board games in here from each of our houses.”

From his spot on the table, Yuuri interrupts, “But Yuuya, you don’t have time for a game. Haven’t you checked what time it is?”

There’s a clock hanging just to the side of the window they climbed through. Yuuya checks the time and winces. It’s four o’clock, which is usually just a regular time after school. However, this is the hour where Rin is alone. She’ll be by herself for an hour before her cram school, by –

Wait.

Yuuya shakes his head. “It’s gonna be all right, Yuuri. After all, remember where we are? Izayoi said she could see our secret base from her spot, and so we should be able to see her. We can keep an eye on her that way –”

“You mean spy on her?”

Again, Yuuya shakes his head. “I’m not going to be watching her 24/7. I’ll just check every so often to make sure she hasn’t disappeared, and in case anyone else approaches her.” Then, frowning, Yuuya climbs up onto the bookcase and peers out the window. At first, he can’t see much, eyes adjusting to how white the world outside is. Then he sees the river, and across the river the gazebo, and –

_ Crash!  _ The front door, apparently unlocked, slams into the opposing wall. Rin stands in the doorway, arms crossed, lips in a tight line. Her short hair is flecked with snow from the walk over, and her cheeks are flushed rosy red from the cold. Her eyes wander over each and every one of them. Then, with a sigh, she says, “Well, I’m here. I got bored.”

Yuuya’s head turns to Yuugo. He’s climbed off the table and stands in the middle of the room. He looks like he’s seen a ghost, face white, mouth open, eyes wide and unblinking. He can’t seem to form and words to say for a moment, and then when he does his voice comes out squeaky: “W-welcome, Rin-rin, to our hideout.”

The nickname gets Rin blushing, not just a bit on her cheeks, but her entire face bursts pink and red all over. She sinks her teeth into her lip, unmoving in the doorway. 

Not quite sure what to say, Yuuya glances over at Yuuto. This … is new. He didn’t expect Rin to visit them, not after they all made fools of themselves before her. However, Rin doesn’t say anything rude to them, or tease them, or try to run away. She stays at the entrance to the hideout, wind licking at her tufty hair and the corners of her sweater.

Then – “Aren’t you cold?” Yuugo asks. “Come on in, we have hot chocolate!”

Cautiously, Rin takes a step in and closes the door behind her. She begins to take off her shoes, but then keeps them on when she realises that they’re all still wearing their boots. Even when she’s inside though, she seems unsure where to go. She keeps glancing around, at times seeming to avoid all the eyes on her. 

“What … do you all do here?” she asks.

“Play games, eat snacks, not do our homework.” Yuugo names them off his fingers between slurps of hot chocolate. He even has the drink stained around his lips.

“I can’t stay for long,” Rin tells him, “but thank you … for having me here.” At those words, she visibly relaxes, softening at the edges where her personality once seemed a bit uptight. She settles down in one of the chairs by the table while Yuugo fixes her up a cup of hot chocolate. Yuuri, ever the gentleman, even gets off the table and sits across from her. 

Yuuya blushes as he realises he’s still standing on the bookcase.

Once Rin has her drink, they all seem to flock around the table to chat with her. It’s not like she invited them, or that Yuugo insisted they all hang out with Rin. The table just becomes a place to chat. They open up a box of cookies to split amongst themselves over conversation about school and video games and life in general. Around Rin, Reira opens up even more, telling them all about the beautiful, white-stone buildings in Academia and the frozen canals all around. 

“Think you could ride a motorbike through the streets?” Rin asks.

Reira pauses, then nods. 

“Good because someday I’m gonna build a motorbike and ride  _ all  _ around the dimensions.”

“Me too!” Yuugo exclaims, hands smacking the table. “I wanna build a bike too.”

From there, the conversations only spiral and bridge, never veering down the wrong path. Yuuya loses track of how late it is until, in middle of a conversation about building motorbikes, Rin says, “Hey, guys, sorry, but I have cram school soon that I can’t skip. I need to go, but …” She laughs into her hand. “If you’re here tomorrow, I’ll come hang out too. This was lots of fun.”

Yuugo jumps out of his seat, chair falling to the floor behind him with a loud  _ crash!  _ “Rin-rin, why don’t I walk you there? It’s kinda late, isn’t it …”

Rin laughs once more. “Sure, why not?” She slips out of the chair and out towards the door. Before she leaves, she waves to each and every one of them. “Thanks for having me! See you tomorrow, I hope!”

Heart in his throat, Yuuya can’t quite get the words out to say goodbye. Somehow, in a strangely magical and wonderful way, he’s found a way to make sure Rin is not alone. He’s filled up the time, not by himself, not alone. Rin is not only his friend, but Yuugo’s friend. She wants to hang out with them again. Unexpectedly, the second condition has been broken.

Smiling, Yuuya glances over to Reira. Even though he’s back too, Reira is in no danger so long as he’s with Yuuya. Through hard work, luck, and friendship, Yuuya had saved all three of his friends’ lives. None of them are alone anymore.

_ The emptiness inside me …  _ Yuuya holds a hand to his heart.  _ Eighteen years ago, I didn’t have friends like this. I think, this time, I’m filling the emptiness inside me too. _


	31. Chapter 31

The moment class is done, Yuuya spots a flash. Behind him, Yuugo is throwing his backpack over his shoulders. He bumps into his desk, which in turn bumps into Yuuya’s back, but Yuugo doesn’t seem to notice anything or anyone around him. He appears quite flustered, in fact, and there’s a faint blush on his cheeks.

“Where are you off to?” Yuuya asks. Normally, Yuugo is one of the last students out of the classroom because he spends so much time talking and lollygagging.

Yuugo jumps, still trying to zip up his windbreaker with his shaky hands. “I, uh – need to escort Rin-rin today. She asked me yesterday, after I walked her to cram school, and –” 

Yuuya can barely make out what Yuugo is saying. His teeth chatter together, words slurring under his tongue. 

“But don’t worry, we’ll both come back to the hideout after, and don’t eat all the candy!”

Just as Yuugo has himself ready to go, Yuuri appears. He saunters over and hops up onto the desk, pointy teeth visible between his thin lips. “Doesn’t she have piano class or something?”

“No,” Yuugo growls, “she has _hichikiri_ class, and she’s really good at it. You’re just jealous that you can’t watch a pretty girl play –”

“Oh,” Yuuri drawls, “she’s pretty, now is she, Yuugou?”

“Piss off!” Ready to go, Yuugo gives them all one hard stare. “Do  _ not  _ eat all the candy on me.” Then he’s gone through the classroom door, pushing past several of the students. Yuuya sees him dash down the corridors, a feat in itself since right after class the hallways are normally crowded. It doesn’t seem to be a match for Yuugo though. 

Behind him, Yuuya hears Yuuto chuckle. “It’s nice that Yuugo can help make sure no one is alone.” Playfully, he punches Yuuya’s shoulder – not enough to hurt, but to gather his attention when Yuuya’s gaze trails back to the hallway. “You thought you’d play the detective game all by yourself, didn’t you? I bet you thought,  _ Hey, I should tell my friends to help, but I’ll still do all the work.” _

Yuuya blushes.

“You did, didn’t you?” Yuuto sighs. “Have some faith in us, Yuuya. However …” The corners of Yuuto’s lips rise. “It does seem like Izayoi’s case is solved. With Yuugo as her friend, she’ll never be alone.”

Yuuri nods in agreement. “That means the detective game is over, right? You were all paranoid about me and Izayoi, and before that Akaba over there” – he inclines his head towards Reira, who’s still packing up her books at her desk, but who surely heard Yuuri – “but now all of us are safe.”

At first, Yuuya just nods, but then a thought appears in his mind, a wriggling feeling that makes him squirm a bit. “We’re … all safe.”

“I think,” Yuuto says, “you’ve done more than just make sure the killer never targets lonely children. You’ve connected those lonely children to friends, Yuuya. All of us here, and Rin too … we all have you to thank for bringing us closer together, for inviting us to your birthday party, for taking such good care of us.”

“Now that’s too sappy,” Yuuri mutters. “Really, Yuuya, haven’t you just wasted all your free time trying to fill up other peoples’?”

An honest, ‘Yuuri’ question. But Yuuya shakes his head, already knowing the answer in his heart. “I filled up my time too, you see. A while ago, I used to just smile for people, be friends for other people. I didn’t know how to be me. But now that I can be your friends, and we can all hang out together, I think I’m filling up ‘me’ too. I’m glad we could all be friends, and …” He looks over his shoulder, to where Reira has stopped putting away his books. He hasn’t come closer, but all this time Yuuya knows he’s been listening intently. “I’m glad I’m took the time to get to know all of you.”

After such an honest confession, Yuuya expects to hear Yuuri rat him out, or tease him; or even worse, there could just be a long, awkward pause.

He doesn’t expect to hear Yuuto.

“Me too, Yuuya. I was really touched when I heard you wanted to help everyone, starting with Reira, and then Yuuri and Izayoi. When you want to help someone, you really do care for them. I’m glad that I’m not only your friend, but your ally too. You mean a lot to me.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya spots Reira with cheeks even redder than his hair. 

There’s also another face in the classroom, one who’s been watching from the doorway. Serena stands with her arms crossed, but not with her trademark resting bitch-face. No, she actually looks surprised, mouth open just enough so that Yuuya can see the tops of her teeth. Her eyes are so much wider than Yuuya has seen too, and she must have heard what they said.

_ Slam!  _ The door closes in both of their faces and Yuuya doesn’t see Serena again.

Peeking around the desk, Yuuri asks, “The hell was that?”

“Nothing,” Yuuya says, a bit too quickly.  _ Nothing but another classmate … alone.  _

Come to think of it, Yuuya realises that there’s one more student he hasn’t accounted for. All this time he’s been focused on the victims of the past case. He’s kept them all alive, and other than the case Yuuto told him about the girl from City, no other children have gone missing. However, now a dark thought creeps into Yuuya’s mind. What if the killer will go after someone else? After everything he’s done, what if the killer changes targets?

A hand falls on his shoulder – Reira’s hand, small, warm even through his jacket. “Hey, are we going to the hideout today?”

Yuuya nods. “Yep, let’s get ready to go!”

They gather their books and backpacks in the classroom, and then leave together to get dressed to go outside. Yuuya keeps his eyes peeled for any sign of Serena, but he doesn’t spot her at the lockers or in the schoolyard. He’s never paid much attention to her anyways; after all, Serena used to hang out with a lot of girls in school before she called out Reira in front of the class. She hasn’t been with many friends since then …

Outside, the snow has begun to melt just enough that their footprints are soggy. It’s become too slippery for anyone to consider running, though they all hustle through the damp chill towards the river. Because it never quite gets to Arctic temperatures, the river doesn’t freeze; the water slaps along the banks. From the vantage point at the top of the hill, Yuuya can look out and see the other side where he used to watch Yuuma play card games. The gazebo is there too, empty this time. 

Long, long ago, Yuuya doesn’t remember ever seeing Rin there. Perhaps he was never looking for the right person that time.

When they left last time they made sure to lock the door, so all of them have to crawl under the fence and jump through the window once again. Without Yuugo to make the first jump, Yuuya goes, springing up and then balancing in the windowsill. Yuuto has to boost Yuuri up because Yuuya just doesn’t have the same strength as Yuugo to pull someone all the way through, but one by one they all make it inside.

At once, Yuuri starts a fire and the kettle to warm up the place. Reira begins gathering the blankets and pillows to build little nests for all of them. Even since he’s been coming, Reira has tidied up the place a bit more. He says that a house should look homely, and that means just a bit tidier than the pigsty they’d previously had.

Yuuya brings out a couple games, and a package of cookies for them to much on later, making sure not to open the package or else Yuugo will have a fit.

Not twenty minutes later, Yuugo shows up with Rin. They’re both pink-cheeked, either from the cold, from running, or from the obvious fact that they are holding hands. Yuugo lets go at once, staring down at his feet. Rin doesn’t seem bothered at all: she saunters in and wraps a blanket around her shoulders.

“How y’all’ve been?” she says.

“Good,” Reira says, coming to sit next to her. He leans forward on his elbows.

It’s a sight Yuuya never thought he would see. Just beyond them is Yuuri too – the three victims. 

_ I think they’re no longer victims. I think the killer must have given up on them – he must have. There are no more clues, unless …  _ Yuuya swallows.  _ There are new clues – clues I wouldn’t be able to find now. Is the killer going after someone else, or has he moved on to another town? I’ve saved my friends, but have I really stopped the killer? I won’t be able to find him anymore. _

“Yuuya.” 

He blinks. “Yeah, Yuuto?”

“Is the detective game really over? Ever since you said that, you’ve been really quiet, like you’ve got a lot on your mind. Is everything OK?”

Trust Yuuto to know that something more is going on. Maybe back then, before he knew Yuuto, he would have laughed this off. However, Yuuya’s face only grows more solemn, and he shakes his head. “No, the cases aren’t complete yet. Just because we’ve saved everyone doesn’t mean the killer has disappeared. He could still be in Heartland City, or he could have moved on to another town. Either way, we can’t drop our guards just yet.”

Yuuto beams at him. “I’m glad, Yuuya.”

The next day, it’s the same thing – the same clatter as Yuugo disorientedly tries to get himself ready and be the first one out the door, waving goodbye to all of them as he dashes off to go and walk Rin from school to her hichikiri practice. Yuuya can’t stop looking ahead at Reira who packs up her books, hair pulled back with two barrettes that her grandmother bought her. They’re all getting ready to go to the hideout once more. It’s become a routine of sorts, just like before when they went to the children’s centre.

Yuuya doesn’t see Serena packing up her bag next to him, but he does catch her at the doorway once more. She hovers there, this time not looking at any of them.

“Reira,” Yuuya says, “we’re going to the hideout –” 

Heartland chuckles from his desk, and Yuuya winces.

“– and you should come along too.” His eyes wander over to his teacher who pretends to be stacking up his papers and textbooks to head back down to his office. He looks up when he catches Yuuya staring.

“What’s wrong, Yuuya? I didn’t hear anything.” A wink. “Actually, who I need to speak to is Reira – there’s a form I need your grandmother to sign about an upcoming school field trip. Yuuya and I handed them all out while you were away for a bit, but I think we forgot to give it to you yesterday on your first day back.”

Reira glances over at him, and Yuuya nods. “I’ll meet you outside, OK?”

“Sure.”

When Yuuya looks back around though, Yuuto and Yuuri are conversing amongst each other. When they spot him they stop at once, but Yuuya knows something is wrong the moment they both feign smiles and shrug.

“Come on, guys, tell me what’s up.”

Twisting his lips together, Yuuto takes a moment to gather his thoughts. “Actually, Yuuya, I think today Yuuri and I are gonna go see the hockey game. We’re in the city-wide tournament, did you know, and Shark’s playing. I don’t know how much you like hockey, and I think …” His cheeks darken, a sight that Yuuya hasn’t seen in a while. “I think today you should hang out with just Reira. She’s been staring at you all class.”

Now Yuuya feels his face go hot, and it doesn’t go unnoticed. 

Yuuri begins snickering, holding a hand to his face. “Yuuto and I really wouldn’t want to crash your nice day, so why don’t you two hang out and both of us will go to the hockey game?”

Playfully, Yuuto bumps shoulders with Yuuri. “We’ll even tell you the score, if you tell us yours.”

_ Guys,  _ Yuuya thinks, drowning in his own self-embarrassment. But his friends leave him after that with waves and dazzling smiles, wishing him good luck as they head out the door. Yuuya dawdles for a bit longer in the classroom until he’s sure they’re gone, and then he hurries down the stairs to tug on his jacket and gloves. He plants himself down on the concrete steps outside, facing forward so he can watch other students mill out the entrance and down the streets. Many of them, he supposes, must be walking to the bus stop that will take them to the arena. 

“Were you waiting long?”

Yuuya jumps, head turning so fast he’s surprised he doesn't give himself whiplash. “N –”

Reira’s at the door, hair braided. How she had time to do up her hair is a mystery to Yuuya since he just got outside, but she’s there, face clean and beautiful and  _ glowing.  _ Reira is like a goddess in the doorway.

“No,” Yuuya says at last. “Wasn’t waiting long at all.”

“Good,” Reira says. She hops down the first step, then the second; snow slushes around her green rubber boots, something else that her grandmother must have bought her. “There’s somewhere I want to go today, actually. Do you mind?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “Where is it?”

Finger to her lips, Reira says, “It’s a secret.”

She takes his hand and leads him back behind the school. At first, Yuuya think they’re going to play in the schoolyard – the back fields aren’t used as often, and so the snow that remains isn’t torn up and still a blanket over the ground. But they keep on tromping through that. The snow gets thicker the further back they head, and colder too. Even with mittens on, Yuuya tucks his other hand under his armpit to keep him warm.

When they get to the back of the field, Reira begins to ascend the mountains. It’s a steady climb up through thick, deep snow that pulls them down. The further they climb, the crisper the air becomes. Looking behind him, Yuuya sees himself rising up to the height of Heartland Academy and beyond. He can see his house, and the river, and in the distance there’s a speck of a building that looks an awful lot like Neo Domino Elementary too.

Yuuya knows where Reira is leading him, but he holds his tongue. They don’t see any foxes this time; in fact, there aren’t even any footprints in the snow until Reira and Yuuya make their marks there. It’s snowed so much since then that the old footprints have disappeared.

At the top of the mountain, the tree is still bare. There are no lights in it since the sky is still blue and full of clouds, but if anything it makes the barren tree look as if it’s filled with cotton. Yuuya hangs back for a moment to take it in.

_ Last time, I brought Reira here. We held hands under the tree and stars – _

“Yuuya, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

_ Was this a memory Reira has been looking forward to? _

Reira brings him right up to the base of the tree, where slushy snow drips from the branches and lands on their heads. She chuckles when a particularly large drop lands on Yuuya’s nose and he hastily brushes it away, ears burning.

“I remember coming up here when it was dark,” Yuuya says. “It was just a bare tree back then.”

Reira doesn’t answer. She keeps walking to the edge of the cliff, one that Yuuya doesn't remember seeing in the dark. That night, all he could see was the barren tree and the stars speckled in its branches. Now though, the tree sits at the top of the mountain, and below is a quick, fast fall to the ground. 

“Yuuya, there’s something I never got to tell you.”

_ Huh? _

Reira spins around, braids arching through the sky. “Thank you for helping me get out of that place.”

Somewhere near Yuuya’s house – because he spotted it at once, and he can see it again – is another house. It’s the only one with its lights off, though it hasn't snowed enough to clear the many footprints in the front yard. It’s a house that still sends shivers down Yuuya’s back. 

It’s not Reira’s house though.

“You and I used to be loners, Yuuya, didn’t we?”

_ We did. _

“And we tried to burden things all by ourselves, never asking for help from anyone. When you tried to be my friend, I thought you wanted something from me. I couldn’t give you anything, not back then. But … you just wanted to be my friend. I bet, deep down, you wanted a friend too, probably more badly than I did.

“It’s lonely when you have no friends. I didn’t realise that before, and I didn’t figure it out when I was hanging out with you … but when I had to live in Academia for a few days, all by myself, it was really clear how painful it is to be alone in the dimensions. I never knew what loneliness really felt like until you became my friend and showed me how much pain I was in. It’s was like … I was used to it.”

“I … just wanted to be your friend, Reira,” Yuuya says. 

She looks up at him, eyes sparkling like diamonds. “I know – and I’m happy you did. Because of you, I took a step forward with courage. Because of you, I had hope.”

Slowly, tentatively, Reira reaches out his hand to hold Yuuya’s. They stand at the apex of the cliff, facing the dimensions Yuuya has seen time and time again. Three times, in fact. Three lives, all with Reira.

_ And in this life, he’s not missing. _

“Yuuya.”

“Yeah?”

A gentle weight settles against his shoulder – Reira’s head, her lavender locks tickling his chin.

“You’re my hero.”

_ You’re …  _ Yuuya knows his mouth is hanging open, but the words just don’t come out, and Reira’s staring at him through the curtain of his hair, and oh gods this didn’t happen in the other two timelines, no it did not, this is the future, this is –

_ Splat!  _ A snowball hits him squarely in the face, wet snow dripping into his eyes and down his frozen cheeks.

“Say something,” Reira mutters.

“I – I –”

For a moment though, Yuuya can’t. He just lets the peace wash over him and Reira.  _ Was I looking forward to this memory too?  _

_ Yes. _

“I’m glad you could come back to this dimension too, so you can finish school with us. I’m glad we’re no longer alone.”


	32. Chapter 32

“By the way, Yuuya, did you know that Saotome has been a loner recently? She used to have so many friends, but she’s one of the first students to leave after class, and she doesn't eat lunch with anyone.”

Serena – she has been alone. Yuuya has spotted her too, always lingering at the corners of friendship circles. Yuuya used to feel like Serena too, only he didn’t tease anyone. 

“I think it’s because of the lunch money incident. That’s no one’s fault but her own, but … it’s not like I wasn't a part of that, and …”

_ I was. I called her out in the middle of class because of what she did. It was brave, and because of it it helped me become closer to Reira … but how badly did I hurt Saotome’s feelings? _

“It’s been bothering you, hasn’t it?” Yuuya says. “I’ve noticed it too, and I guess I’ve been thinking about it as well.” With a small smile, he adds, “Why don’t we go speak to her on Monday?” He stands up in the deep snow, and then stretches down to pull Reira to his feet too. “Ready to head back?”

“Sure,” Reira says. “But Yuuya, about Saotome … I saw her when I went to Mr. Heartland’s office, and that time she didn’t even look at me … I guess though, I wasn’t looking at her either, and we didn’t even talk.”

Gently, Yuuya lays a hand on Reira’s shoulder. “She’ll be OK. If she’s lonely, she might want to hang out with us. Now come on, let’s go back to my place.”

They take the same path back, stepping in the deep snow prints that lead them down the mountain and back into the schoolyard. From there, it’s the same walk back to his house that he and Reira have done before, only this time Yuuya doesn’t have to take Reira anywhere unsafe. They walk hand-in-hand up to Yuuya’s house, the lower apartment with the bright light on. Never quiet, Yoko is talking animatedly to someone inside.

“I’m back, Mom,” Yuuya says, opening the door and leading Reira in. He only makes it a few steps though when he notices a pair of brown, adult loafers in the door, not his mother’s shoes for sure. With a frown, Yuuya glances up. Standing in the kitchen is Yoko, nursing a tea cup in both hands. Next to her though is a young man with short, grey hair falling around his cheeks and eyes, with darker, thicker bangs that tickle the tops of a pair of large, round glasses. Even though he’s indoors, a soft, thin scarf is wrapped around his neck; the rest of him is in a knitted pullover vest, a white shirt, and a dark blazer.

_ Durbe! _

Next to him, Reira asks, “Who’s that?”

“Do –”

His mother’s eyebrow rises, and Yuuya bites his tongue. He only ever met Durbe in the future!

“Don’t know,” Yuuya says. “Mama, is that a friend?”

Durbe gets off his seat and kneels down before them. He isn’t very tall to begin with, but Yuuya appreciates not having to look up at an adult. Durbe then tilts his head forward. “A friend from her old work, actually. I’m Durbe.”

It’s then that it hits Yuuya: eighteen years ago, Durbe was investigating the cases too. He kept all his notes, pursuing the culprit right from the start. It appears that the Durbe in this timeline has joined the battle, and Yuuya can’t be any happier. However, in this dimension Yuuya has never met him, so he can’t act so chummy. 

Yuuya bows forward, and Reira mimics him. “It’s very nice to meet you, sir.”

Yoko doesn’t leave them to gape at the entryway for long. She beckons them into the house, saying, “Come on, come take a seat! I thought you’d be home soon, so dinner is all ready.”

Yuuya and Reira hop up to their seats. However, once he and Reira are seated, he notices that there are only three chairs … and four of them in the room.

Yoko seems to notice this to. “Yuuya, Reira, you’re both small. Why don’t you share seats?”

With a painfully obvious blush on his rosy cheeks, Yuuya slips down from his chair and climbs up to sit next to Reira. They brush hips and arms; neither of them has much space even when they’re crammed together, but Yoko seems rather happy by the result. She brings Durbe his supper first, and then Yuuya and Reira’s. A plate of spinach and slices of beef – still leftovers from her massive shopping trip.

It isn’t until Yoko sits down that the conversation begins.

Cradling her head in her hand, Yoko asks, “So Yuuya, do you recognise Durbe?”

He shakes his head. “No, not really … just …”

“You might.” Yoko pauses to chew and swallow, and then says, “You met him when you were a baby, right when I was on mat leave and trying to get back to the station. Maybe there’s something about him that seems familiar.”

Slowly, Yuuya nods. There are many, many familiar things about Durbe, but Yuuya can’t share any of those. 

“Mr. Durbe,” Yuuya asks, “what … are you doing here?” Last time Durbe appeared in the rerun, he had come to tell Yoko that Izayoi Rin had disappeared. Since that timeline never happened, why Durbe has come to Yuuya’s house is a mystery.

Durbe seems surprised by the question, eyebrows disappearing into his thick, grey bangs. “Well, let’s talk about that after dinner, all right?”

_ He’s here for a reason,  _ Yuuya realises. 

But he doesn’t have a chance to press on when Yoko begins interrogating him and Reira about school, about homework, about all the things to look forward to next year in their final year of elementary school. Yuuya lets himself be swept up into the airy conversation until Yoko comments, “Yuuya, why don’t you walk Reira back home before it gets too dark? Reira, you go on the bus or train, correct?”

Reira nods. “I’ll take the train. I can –”

“I can walk with you,” Yuuya says. He slips off his chair and tugs Reira down with him. “Let’s go home.” Over his shoulder, Yuuya looks back at the adults. There’s something that’s meant to happen here, something that could have never happened in the previous two timelines. 

_ There’s no serial kidnappings here yet,  _ Yuuya thinks,  _ but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen. Durbe is here to catch the killer, and the killer … is still in the city. There’s a clue here I’ve got to catch! _

He and Reira pull on their boots, jackets, and scarves. With a small smile, they exchange gloves and laugh at how the gloves Reira made for Yuuya just happen to look identical to the ones Yuuya bought for Reira. When they’re ready to go, they head out into the dark, blustery night. Yuuya presses close to Reira to keep both of them warm, and they follow the street lights to the city centre.

The train station happens to be one of the busiest places in town, with people milling in and out of the large building. There’s an overpass that Yuuya and Reira have to take – one that, not too long ago, is where Yuuya tried to push Himika down the stairs. He swallows hard as he leads Reira up and through the domed hallway. However, instead of exiting at the other end, they take a door in the middle of the hallway that leads into the train station itself. 

… which is even busier. There are people bustling to and fro under harsh, artificial lighting that makes Yuuya squint. There are at least four rails in this station: two heading to Academia, and two heading to Maiami. Only one of the trains is in though, but by its size and loudness Yuuya is glad that no more have arrived. It’s loud in here! No one seems to know how to use their inside voice, and the clickety-clack of feet and wheels competes with the chit-chatter of voices and the overhead announcement system.

Yuuya brings Reira over to the Academia train station, where they find a series of benches lined up along one of the walls. They both take their seats, falling back with heavy sighs.

“Is it hard,” Yuuya asks, “to have to travel to and from school?”

Reira shakes his head. “I wanted to come here. Besides, a small trip to Heartland is better than years of loneliness in Academia.”

Shortly after, the train pulls in. Its shiny exterior only accentuates the harshness of the lighting. Yuuya squints at the train cars that extend back for at least a hundred feet. Do hundreds of people really commute to Academia that often?

With a soft cough, Reira gathers his attention. “Thank you for everything, Yuuya. Really.”

Still seated, Yuuya beams up at him. “You’re welcome, Reira. I’m glad … I can keep living in this dimension with you.”

Reira raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say another word. He gathers up his backpack, waves goodbye once more, and then disappears into one of the front train cars. Yuuya hurries along the platform to see if he can spot where Reira will be seated, but most of the windows are covered and the train itself is busy enough that he can’t spot one face in the crowd of many.

However, this time Yuuya knows Reira will be safe. Academia, while far away and lonely, is a safe place for Reira – away from the killer, away from her abusive mother, away from pain.

Yuuya skips home and back to his house. He hears the train’s whistle behind him just as he slips through the doors to the overpass, and he peeks over his shoulder. The wheels of the train scurry on the track. Slowly, it backs out of the station and disappears into the night.

When Yuuya returns home, he’s pleasantly surprised to find that both Yoko and Durbe are still up, sitting at the table just like before and nursing cups of tea. They both beckon him over, smiling. However, the moment Yuuya takes a seat up at the table with the grownups, their expressions harden.

Durbe pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He reaches into his briefcase to extract a series of papers all bound up in a worn manila folder. Yuuya can’t see what’s inside, but he reckons that it’s to do with the kidnapping. Durbe has always been interested in this case.

“You must be curious what’s inside here,” he says, fingers splayed over the folder. “Would you care to know?”

Yuuya nods. “Sir, is that what brought you here today?”

“Wise words,” Durbe comments. “The work of a reporter is a lifetime job, an agreement to always be searching for the truth. However …” Durbe’s finger twitch against the folder. “To me, my work is also about finding blanks. I’m here today because I want to try and fill that blank.”

_ The case.  _

Yuuya can’t show any sign of understanding though, so he feigns confusion by tilting his head to the side. “... is there something in this town then?”

_ “Someone,”  _ Durbe corrects. “I think there’s someone here who I have been searching for for a while.”

Across from them, Yoko taps her chin. “Aren’t you mysterious?”

Yuuya swallows. By the way this conversation is going, Yuuya can see the tenseness in the adults’ faces. He’s eleven years old in this timeline, so they’ll treat him as such. Then …  _ Will they tell me who the killer is? Do they trust me? Durbe’s saying something, but he’s cautious.  _

“Sir … do you mean cold cases?”

Yoko is suspicious at once, flashing him a stern look. “Where did you hear that word before?”

Yuuya raises both of his hands, blushing. “From Yuuto … his dad’s a lawyer, remember? And Yuuto talks a lot about his dad’s work. He wants to be a lawyer too, I think.”

Through all this though, Durbe chuckles, muffling it with a fist. “Smart kids, I can tell. Well, you’re right, Yuuya – this is about a cold case. However, this isn’t the easiest case to talk about, to research, or to share with anyone. This case … is about a serial kidnapper and murderer.”

Now Yoko is glaring at Durbe, eyes burning. Back then, she didn’t want any of the kids to know about the murders. It appears that thought hasn’t changed, for she nearly lunges into Durbe, growling, “Did you forget everything we just talked about–”

Yuuya raises a hand shyly. “Mama, Yuuto tells me stories about that too. Promise, I’m fine.”

She settles back in her chair with a low huff. Her eyes never leave Durbe, who adjusts his shirt collar and gives a shy, embarrassed cough.

“Sorry, Ms. Yoko. The reason I want to tell Yuuya this though is because this particular kidnapper and killer is targeting grade-schoolers. I’m worried that without this information Yuuya could be in trouble … however, knowing this could also help him and many other students stay safe. And besides” – he cuts himself off with a laugh he struggles to hold back – “weren’t you the girl in school who beat up the pervy bullies? You’ve always had a strong sense of justice, so don’t you think Yuuya would have the same intentions?”

_ No,  _ Yuuya thinks, cheeks reddening,  _ I didn’t even know my mother was like that when she was younger! “I just thought she got gutsy because of hormones!” _

Yoko’s fist bumps him on the back of the head. “It wasn’t hormones, Yuuya.”

_ I said that out loud,  _ Yuuya bemoans to himself. He tumbles forward on the table, but with a glance up to Durbe Yuuya sees that this comical exchange hasn’t affected Durbe. No, the man across from him looks equally severe and cold, calculating even. The light glimmers and reflects off his large, round glasses.

“Yuuya, I’m worried about this killer. He’s as careful as he is sly. I have some suspicions I’d like to share with you and Yoko, if you don’t mind.” He pauses to flip open the folder; inside are at least a hundred handwritten and typed documents, appearing to be case files or observations or reports on residents across the dimensions.

“I think this killer chooses several suspects beforehand. He mainly focuses on young elementary school girls, usually between ten and eleven years of age. However, he doesn’t pick one target; that way, should he ever be suspected, he can easily switch targets, commit the crime, and avoid detection. This is based on several cases. For example, the case last fall in Synchro involving a daughter and her father. Prior to that, there were two more cases in the Original Dimension. These have all been cases of young, elementary school girls that are kidnapped and later killed.

“Across the dimensions, these cases are claimed to be solved. There are clear suspects by the end of the investigations. However, like you said, Yuuya, I think these are cold cases.”

Yuuya nods. Yuuto told him about the case of Crow and Amanda. It appears that there have been cases before that – and of course, in 2006 there were still cases of child kidnappings. The murderer never stopped, always able to find a way to pass the blame.

Leaning her head to the side, Yoko asks, “How do you know these cases are connected?”

Durbe nods. “I think the killer not only finds victims to prey on, but also likely victims to blame for the murder. Those are the conditions I have found.”

“And you think …” Yuuya ventures, “that this guy is here?”

Again, Durbe nods, face growing solemn. “I’ve been wondering if he will come here next. I wonder …” Durbe taps his fingers against the file, eyes downcast. “I wonder where the killer is now, what he’s doing.”

Despite the overall bleakness of the situation, Yoko still manages to laugh. “You sound lovestruck.”

“It could be love.” Durbe hesitates on his next words. “This killer could love so much that it hurts, and that’s why he is kidnapping and killing. It’s the same emotion, passion and love and lust. He’s just going about it in another way.”

Those words strike deep into Yuuya’s gut. He curls his hands over his sensitive stomach, trying to block out the images of a man going after young children. It’s why he placed the erotic fiction in Yuuma’s room – he wanted to make a scene about this. The killer … has been in love with his victims.

_ He’s sick. _

“But” – Durbe snaps the folder closed – “that’s why I want to get close to him. This killer wants people interested in him, I think. He wants to gather attention and get people interested in these crimes without being involved. I want to see his face though. I want to know who this man is sooner rather than later, and I want to put him in jail.”

Yuuya swallows hard.  _ Durbe, in 2006, Mom figured it out … somehow. Maybe it was your research that helped her, or maybe it was just you were both so interested in this case. But this means that if you were both researching, then you both knew the killer from back then. This killer is in this timeline … in this city … _

_ Who’s the target then? Who meets the conditions? _

A flicker of an image appears in Yuuya’s mind. Serena has been alone, hasn’t she? Yuuya doesn’t know much about her family life, but without any friends Serena normally goes home alone. She doesn’t talk to anyone either.

Serena meets the conditions.


	33. Chapter 33

_ _

_ The murderer’s age is estimated to be between late twenties and early thirties. He must be rather smart, probably having gone to university. He’s flexible too, someone who doesn’t get invested in just one person or thing. I think he’s from the Original Dimension, though he could have lived in Heartland City too, away from the suburbs. He moved to Synchro too for a period of time. I guess we don’t know that much about his personal life. _

_ From the footprints in the snow, he’s estimated to be about 180 cm tall and weighing 75 kg.  _

_ If he’s approaching people and not being suspected, he must have a rather friendly face. He must come off as someone children and adults alike can trust.  _

_ However, these are all my personal deductions. There aren’t a lot of facts in my words, but there might be truth. I could be wrong, but I believe in what I think. _

Yuuya knows that Durbe speaks the truth. In the future and past timelines, there have been a lot of clues. The abuse, the neglect, the lonely children. The killer has connections to young children. The killer is able to prey on these children without ever getting caught. The killer has connections to  _ many  _ children so that he can always swap targets should he become a suspect.

_ But somehow, I’ve stopped him. I’ve broken the conditions that he uses to kidnap the children, and now he’s waiting.  _

He isn’t gone through. If Durbe’s here, if there were previous cases … the killer must still be in Heartland City.

_ I think the next victim will be Serena,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ I need to find a way to keep her safe. I need to protect her. _

* * *

Yoko wakes him up bright and early, shaking his shoulders and causing his head to loll back and forth against the pillow. Yuuya pinches his eyes closed and rubs them tiredly with his fists.

“Ma … ma –”

“Yuuya, you didn’t make anything for White Day, did you?”

At this hour, and after just waking up, Yuuya can only slur the words in his mouth. However, as he slowly comes to, he realises just what Yoko means. In the previous rerun, he never made it to White Day. In this timeline though, he’ll celebrate it, and … 

He never got a gift for Reira.

His face seems to tell Yoko all she needs. She bops him on the head, laughing. “You didn’t get anything for the girls, did you?”

Yuuya shakes his head.

“Well, aren’t you lucky that your Mama remembered?” From behind her back Yoko pulls out a box of chocolates wrapped with a thick, red ribbon oddly reminiscent of Reira’s scarf. It’s also the same colour of Yuuya’s cheeks as he realises just who he’s meant to give these too.

“I can’t bring those to school!” Yuuya says. 

Yoko chuckles. “Well then, why don’t you bring Reira home then –”

“That’s too bold!”

“– and we can have dinner together. You can give him the chocolates then. How does that sound, Yuuya?” She chuckles behind her hand. “I don’t get why you’re so embarrassed. I bet lots of other boys at your school will be giving chocolates to girls, like Yuugo.”

“I don’t want to be like Yuugo,” Yuuya mutters, but Yoko seems to have none of it.

“If you don’t do this, Yuuya, you might regret it later on. Come home tonight with Reira, OK?”

Yuuya buries his face in his pillow. “I’ll be late.”

Yoko taps his shoulders, letting out a long, slow breath. “I’ll wait for you.”

She lets him go about his morning after that, returning to the kitchen to set out breakfast for him. Meanwhile, Yuuya changes and brushes his teeth, and makes sure that all of his belongings are in his backpack. He considers slipping the chocolates in and trying to sell them to another boy on his way to school, but Yoko’s nagging words do have a point. He does want to celebrate White Day with Reira. He wants to give her those chocolates, no matter how embarrassing it might be.

Yuuya devours his breakfast as quickly as he can, ignoring the way Yoko keeps giggling to herself throughout the meal. Once they’re done eating, Yoko comes round to help him zip up his jacket and tie his scarf.

“Let me do this for you today, OK?” she says. “A treat from a mother.”

Yuuya lets her fuss over him for a moment longer, cheeks burning. When he’s ready to go, he steps out onto the doormat and turns around to wave goodbye. “I’ll see you tonight, Mama. I promise I’ll bring Reira home.”

Yoko laughs and waves back. “Goodbye, Yuuya.”

Since Reira comes by bus in the mornings, Yuuya travels to the city centre and waits for her bus to come by. There’s nothing at the stop but a metal pole stuck into the ground, but still Yuuya waits for her, kicking snow with his wet shoes. When he hears the bus come rumbling down the road, he steps back so that he’s not splashed by the slushy road water and waits for Reira to come down the steps.

Reira must know it’s White Day too, for she’s rather dressed up. Her long hair is pulled up in two ponytails revealing the dark violet undertones of her hair. His face looks cleaner than ever, eyes twinkling in the sunshine. He smiles brightly at Yuuya, folding his hands across his chest.

“Good morning, Yuuya.”

“Morning, Reira!”

This time it’s Reira who reaches out and takes his hand, folding their gloves over top of each other. Even through the thick wool Yuuya can feel Reira’s fingers poking through and trying to touch him. However, Yuuya doesn’t say anything. He smiles down at his feet, at their held hands, and then falls into step with Reira. The two of them walk to school enjoying the beauty of the snow and sun around them. The ground is soft and at times wet, yet Yuuya doesn’t feel his damp socks until he gets into the school building and has to wedge them into his indoor shoes.

When they get to class though, Yuuya drops hands. Serena is already in class, nose in a book. She doesn’t look up when Yuuya enters or when he drops down into his seat next to her. Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya tries to spot what she’s reading, but she pulls it away from him with a low growl. Ever since that day he called her out, Serena hasn’t wanted to be anyone’s friend. It’s like she’s a lone wolf trying to figure things out all on her own.

“Last year,” Yuugo whisper-yells, leaning into Yuuya’s ear, “Serena got so many chocolates from boys. I bet she’ll get none this year.”

Yuuya pushes Yuugo back into his seat. Serena would’ve heard that; Yuugo is by no means quiet.

Yet Serena just keeps reading, expression stiff and unyielding. She doesn’t look up until Heartland enters with a clap-clap-clap and a smile, and only then does she put her book away and pull out her notebooks.

How Yuuya will pass fifth grade, he doesn’t know. All day he focuses on watching Serena to see what she does. She eats lunch by herself, refuses to participate in group work, and overall seems standoffish to  _ anyone  _ who tries to talk to her. By the end of the day, Yuuya has to agree with Yuugo’s hypothesis: Serena didn’t receive chocolates from anyone.

If it bothers Serena though, it shows in her anger. The moment Heartland wraps up the lesson, Serena hops out of her seat, shoves her books into her knapsack, and makes for the door. Behind Yuuya, he can hear Yuugo trying to rush out the door too to go and meet Rin after class. Through the bustle, it becomes hard to see who’s going where, what they’re doing –

Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya sees Reira’s long, purple hair brush past him and after Serena. Both girls leave the classroom at the same time.

_ Where are you …? _

Oh. Reira’s books are still at her desk, but she’s gone after Serena. Curiously, Yuuya sneaks off to the door and peers around the corner. At one end of the hallway are masses of students hurrying towards the elevator and down to the shoe lockers. However, at the other end of the hall is the empty staircase that just leads to the back of the school. Yuuya talked with Yuuto there once. And now, standing at the top of the stairwell, are Serena and Reira. Neither of them appear happy, both with their arms crossed and standing far enough apart to show distance.

Then Reira stretches out her hand, palm facing up.

“Go away.” Serena turns heel and storms down the stairwell, leaving Reira all alone. Serena’s footsteps echo not only in the stairwell, but in the hallway right by Yuuya’s classroom.

Reira turns around, eyes widening at spotting Yuuya.

_ Shit, she saw me. _

Yuuya hovers by the doorway until Reira is before him, twisting her fingers together. She looks like she got caught doing something she shouldn’t have been, which doesn’t make sense to Yuuya because Reira was trying to help. It’s then he realises that Reira is embarrassed, perhaps even hurt.

“What did she say?” Yuuya asks softly.

“‘Let’s forget it and move on,’ she said.” Reira swallows. “She said we were never friends in the first place, so we shouldn’t apologise to each other. I … don’t think she forgives me. It didn’t even sound like she cared.”

“Maybe she cared too much.”

Reira lifts his head, just enough so that his blue eyes peek through his thick, violet bangs. “Huh?”

“Maybe it’s because Serena cares so much, and that she feels lonely, that she tried to push you away. I … think I understand her, maybe just a bit. Still though …” Yuuya forces a smile. “Thank you for trying, Reira. That’s all we can do, right? That, and make it so she’s never alone.”

“But she is …”

Yuuya nods. “It’s my turn now. Let me trying talking to her, and I’ll apologise too. Maybe if we both talk to her she’ll believe at least one of us. I bet you she hates being alone too. I bet you she wants friends just like we once did, and … I bet she would want to be our friends if we tried our hardest.”

“Better run fast – she’s leaving.”

Yuuya whips his head around to find Yuuto and Yuuri sitting on top of the desks right outside of the doorway. Yuuya wonders how long they’ve been sitting there eavesdropping for, but his mind clicks on those words. Serena’s … left? Where did she go? Can Yuuya find her in time –

“Yuuya.” Yuuto gathers his attention with just his name. “Relax. I heard from Mr. Heartland that Saotome’s been going to the ice hockey games at our school. I don’t know why, but he’s seen her there alone a couple times now. Since we have a match today, I bet she went to the arena to watch. She’s … not completely alone, but maybe you can meet up with her there and keep an eye on her.”

Yuuya nods. He makes to leave, but the eyes on him feel a bit too strong. Glancing over his shoulder, he notices Yuuto, Yuuri, and Reira holding their belongings. “What?”

“You’re going by yourself?” Yuuto says.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Yuuya think it through. Then he nods. “Saotome doesn’t really like any of us, so I think she’d ignore us if we all came at her as a group. I think it’s best if I just go alone today. I won’t really be hanging out with her or anyone. I just want to make sure she’s not alone for today, and maybe figure out a way to keep her from being by herself.”

“The time when she’s alone …” Yuuto murmurs. His face splits in a bright grin. “All right, Yuuya, I trust you. Saotome doesn’t like me either, so for now, you’re our best shot. But” – he holds out a finger, stopping Yuuya from turning heel and dashing down the hallway – “tell us tomorrow how it goes, OK? You’re not the only detective in this game.”

Fist-pumping in the air, Yuuya cheers, “Got it! I promise!”

Behind him, Yuuya hears the goodbyes of his friends. “See you tomorrow, Yuuya!”

Now there are no eyes tugging him back. Yuuya feels his friends’ energy deep within him as he dashes down the hallway and into the elevator. Serena is already long gone, and the swarms of students have even dispersed when he gets outside. However, Yuuya knows where to go. There’s a bus stop just outside of the school that leads through the city and to the other side. Yuuya hasn’t been to this part of the city in a long time: the buildings are taller and darker, and everything seems a bit too new for the suburbs of Heartland City he’s seen.

On the bus, Yuuya is crushed between adults commuting to and from their office jobs. His stop ends up being one of the last, as the ice rink is located in a large, community gym outside of the crammed city centre. When Yuuya spots it, the breath shoots out of his lungs.

For one, the gym is massive – larger than Heartland Academy and Neo Domino Elementary  _ combined,  _ and made of steel and glass intertwined in an intricate design. There are pillars snaking up each side of the arena to meet at the top, where in fact the ceiling opens up to the sky. Simply put, it’s a metal dome decorated with glass, but the sheer magnificence of it takes Yuuya’s breath away. How can something of such grandeur exist in Heartland City? 

The bus stops directly in front of it. There’s a wide sidewalk leading up to one of the entrances, which opens up like the mouth of a beast. As Yuuya passes through the doors, he notices the shards of coloured glass inlaid into the larger, white pieces. Yuuya sees his expression in those – the round face of a little boy.

Even though Yuuya hasn’t been in this building before, he knows exactly where to go. The outer areas of the rink are where offices, lobbies, and other attractions are held. There are several entrances into the inner rink, which Yuuya takes to get into where the ice hockey will be played.

The rink is huge. Yuuya has never seen a building of such size before. The ice rink area is on the ground floor. Stretching up from all sides are the bleachers – seats in rows upon rows that arc all the way up to the sky where surely no one can see the game. Because this is simply an elementary school sports match, the majority of spectators are seated on the ground levels. However, Yuuya supposes that, were there a concert or prestigious national match here, every seat in the stadium would be filled.

Because of how empty it is too, it’s no trouble to spot Serena. She sits a ways up from everyone else, nose pressed into her book. Her other hand holds a small, paper cup which she occasionally sips from. She looks to be in pain, or maybe it’s her usual indifferent, pissed-off expression.

“Go team go!” 

Yuuya spins on his heels. There, at the ground level surrounded by several other students, is Mr. Heartland. In fact, he’s surrounded by Yuuya’s classmates, three girls who had been lamenting over him leaving at the end of the year. Yuuya chuckles as he hears Heartland gather the students together to cheer for Heartland Academy’s sports team.

Slowly though, Yuuya’s eyes travel back to Serena. She’s all by herself, with no friends to keep track of her. There’s a clear period of time where she’s alone.

_ Something will happen to her. I know it. _

Serena gets up. She sets her drink down on her chair and her book beside it, and then travels across the row and to the stairs leading down to the hallways out of the inner rink. She’s travelling away from Yuuya so she won’t spot him, but Yuuya realises he’ll need to trail her through that hallway. He  _ can’t  _ leave her alone.

Swallowing, Yuuya sneaks out of his hiding place and through the arena. He stays far enough back that Serena shouldn’t hear his footsteps; however, should she turn around, Yuuya realises that there is no place for him to hide. He doesn’t even have a good reason to be here since his friends didn't join him. 

Yuuya follows Serena through the hallway to the outer rink, where she turns and begins walking away from the main entrance. Yuuya peers around the corner after her, waiting. Where is she …

Oh. 

Serena heads straight to the bathroom and disappears behind the divider.

Yuuya breathes a sigh of relief. However, now that he’s here, following her, Yuuya realises it’s his chance to talk to her. Reira’s apology wasn’t received, so Yuuya can’t apologise either. He needs to strike a conversation with her, just like he did with Rin. The only difference is that while Rin was a stranger, Serena knows him. Serena  _ dislikes  _ him too, so she probably won’t want to talk about anything personal.

_ Should I be casual, say, ‘Hey, what brings you here?’ or ask her about sports? Maybe she likes sports, maybe she doesn’t … _

His head lolls against the wall with a dull  _ thump! _

_ What can I say that doesn’t make me sound weird? _

The sound of an engine draws him out of his thoughts. It’s loud, coming from an open door just a few steps further down the hallway from the bathroom. At first, Yuuya disregards it, but then it grows louder, like a beast coming from the other side. The sound frightens Yuuya, and worry gnaws at his stomach.

_ What’s going on? _

With anxiety already high, Yuuya knows that he can’t ignore anything that happens in this moment. He sneaks out from his hiding spot and follows the hallway down to the open door. When he passes the washrooms, he prays Serena won’t come out and spot him. 

Outside, the noise grumbles and growls. Yuuya pokes his head out of the doorway, peering through the snow that has just begun to fall throughout the city. This door doesn't seem to lead anywhere in particular besides outdoors; however, when Yuuya glances down he spots the source of the noise. One of Tsukumo Foods’ great, lumbering delivery trucks is trying to pull itself up and out of the wet, slushy snow that has gathered on the ground. The engine roars louder and louder, and Yuuya covers his ears.

_ Tsukumo … _

_ Thud! _

Yuuya jumps back, crashing into the door and into hands that immediately try to hold him steady –

“Yuuya,” Heartland says, “are you all right? What are you doing out here?”

Yuuya turns away, face pale and pink at the same time, and hands sweaty. Has he been caught doing something he shouldn’t? Did Heartland see him sneak after Serena and follow? Yuuya can explain, though it’ll be rather awkward to do.

Heartland lets him go after a moment, rubbing the back of his head. “Did you lose your way to the bathroom? This way leads out to …”

Yuuya glances back at the truck, now over the hump and driving down the pathway to the main road. There’s something about that truck that seems wrong. In the previous timelines, Tsukumo Yuuma was framed. If Serena is suspected to go missing, and the Tsukumo Foods truck is nearby, then …

_ This is a trap. Something has happened, something has gone wrong, I need to react, I need to do something, I need help – _

Yuuya turns to look at Heartland, still rubbing his head abashedly and looking wholly out of place. He needs an adult to react. He needs Heartland’s help, just like he did while saving Reira. 

“Sir,” Yuuya says, pointing at the truck disappearing down the road, “I think Saotome got in that truck, and that isn’t her parents’ vehicle. I think she’s in trouble.”

Heartland sobers at once, eyes clouding over. He drops his hand down to his side. Then, lowly, he says, “Come with me, Yuuya. My car is just parked on the road. We need to hurry.” Before Yuuya can charge forward, Heartland has his hand. He tugs him down the stairs and down the path paved away by the truck. Yuuya’s feet slip and stumble in the slushy snow that soaks into his runners. Heartland is much, much taller than him and looms like a shadow.

Once they are onto the main road, Heartland pulls him into a small, red car, nothing flashy at all. They hurry into the car and lock in their seatbelts. Yuuya struggles for a moment until he hears the click, and by that point Heartland has revved the engine and pulled out onto the road. For a moment, they don’t see the truck ahead of them. Then Yuuya spots it two lights ahead, and he gasps and points.

“That one! That one!”

Heartland is already speeding ahead, swerving through cars and running yellow lights. Yuuya grips the seatbelt tight to his chest but doesn’t close his eyes. No, he won’t look away from the dagger before him. Yuuya knew there was something off today. The killer was still in the city and there was a young girl who met all the conditions. This was bound to happen, but like hell Yuuya will let Serena go missing.

The car pulls ahead until it’s right behind the Tsukumo Foods truck, nearly tailgating the larger vehicle. Yuuya can’t see or hear anyone, but there is a dreading feeling in his gut that tells him something is wrong with that truck.

“Sir, when there’s a red light, I can jump out of the car –”

Heartland stops him with a sharp gasp. “Yuuya!”

“Sir, Saotome could be in there –”

Heartland is quick to reply though: “We don’t know that, and I’m your teacher, Yuuya. I can’t let you just jump out of the car like an invincible superhero. But what you’re saying has me concerned too, I won’t lie about that. Serena was sitting by herself today, and suddenly she just disappeared. I want to check that truck too, but we should follow the vehicle and see where it goes.”

It seems wrong to wait, as if any second they spend looking for Serena could lead to a terrible outcome. But now that Yuuya’s words are out and confronted, he realises just how silly he can be. It’s reckless to jump out of the car. Most likely if Serena is in the back, she would be by herself. She should be safe until the car stops.

Yuuya squishes his fists together. “I’m sorry.”

Heartland doesn’t look at him, but Yuuya feels his stare all the same. “How come?”

“I think I might be getting you involved in one of my games, sir, and you never asked to play. But … I need your help, now more than ever.” Yuuya looks up, eyes tracing the curves and juts of Heartland’s face. He has Heartland’s attention. “There’s a game I play with Yuuto and Yuuri and Yuugo, and now with Reira since he’s safe. It’s called the ‘detective game,’ and the rule is that we don’t let any elementary school girls be alone. We think there’s a criminal out there that might catch them, so it’s our duty to keep the girls safe.”

Heartland nods. “How did you make up that game, Yuuya?”

_ Mr. Heartland, please help me. _

“Well, my mama’s a reporter and Yuuto’s dad is a lawyer, and so both of us know that there have been some girls in other cities who have gone missing. I don’t want that to happen in this city, so all of us boys have pitched together to help the girls. It’s really a preventative measure so that no one is kidnapped.”

“Preventative,” Heartland says, humming the words under his breath. 

The delivery truck ahead of them has begun to slow down as it travels out of the suburbs and into the country. Yuuya has never been to this area of the town before, not even as a grown adult. He doesn’t recognise the names of the streets he passes or the view he can see through the window. However, there isn’t much he wants to focus on besides the truck ahead of them. Yuuya won’t take his eyes off that truck.

“I think that’s really brave of you,” Heartland says at last. “Even if it’s a game, it’s a way to make friends and keep everyone safe. Your actions have consequences, even if they’re good ones.”

Yuuya blushes under the words. “Thank you, sir.”

_ Tap, tap, tap  _ go Heartland’s fingers on the steering wheel.

“How did you know Serena was a loner though?”

“Both Reira and I figured it out. We started to notice that she didn’t speak up in class, that she always left right after the bell, that she always seemed to travel home alone … She didn’t look like she had friends in class anymore. But …” Yuuya chews his lip. 

“But what? I respect what you’ve done, Yuuya. I like to hear that my students will help others.”

This time, the compliment stings like barbed wire. “But sir, I didn’t really help. I was supposed to talk to her today, and I was too scared and held back. I really wish I reached out, but I think I failed.”

“Failed?” For a brief moment, Heartland’s eyes glance from the view of the mountains and valleys to Yuuya’s face. “You’re serious about this, aren’t you?”

“Very.”

There’s a slight hum, not coming from the car, but from Heartland. “I’ve noticed you’ve made a lot of friends this year. You’re spending more time with your classmates. I even have to kick you out of the classroom just so I can lock up and go home too.”

“Yep, I want to fill the hole …” Yuuya raises a hand to his chest and feels the beat underneath. It’s erratic at places from losing Serena, but there’s a beat of warmth too. What Yuuya has accomplished this year is more than he’s done in the eighteen years later when he was a starving, struggling mangaka. He’s worked hard this month to see a future where no one dies and everyone lives, and where he can live with his friends again.

Sighing, Yuuya lets a smile flicker over his face. “I want to fill up the empty hole in my mind and heart – not just for me, but for others’ too.”

Yuuya doesn’t miss the way Heartland’s head spins and his eyes focus on him. He looks far younger in that moment, surprise clear in his eyes and cheeks and lips and every part of him that looks stunned into silence. Then, with a cough, Heartland says, “We must think the same then. That’s my speech for your class, the one I’ll give next year on graduation day. I don’t think I wrote it anywhere, but maybe you’ve heard it before.” He laughs. “Or maybe we just think similarly.”

Yuuya forces a laugh too. Now his heart is thumping in his ribcage. That was a close one!

After a moment, Heartland sobers and clears his throat with a single cough. “Yuuya, you must feel a bit ashamed for using Serena as bait.”

“As … bait?”

“To catch the killer.”

Yuuya shakes his head at once. “No sir, that wasn’t my intention at all –”

“But if she’s in the truck, then won’t we find out who the killer is? Won’t this help us solve the kidnapping case you are trying to stop?” Heartland taps his chin. “It might sound rather harsh to say, but sometimes good deeds and bad deeds are the same. Sometimes there’s no difference. Sometimes you do good and bad things to help others … and sometimes it’s to cover up your own flaws.”

_ That’s … extreme,  _ Yuuya thinks. This is the side of Heartland that came out the last time they were in the car. His teacher never is good with words, is he? He’s well meaning, but he’s got such an extreme point of view.

“After I talked with you, Yuuya, back in the car that day, I began to think of ways to approach people. I’ve been trying to approach people too, so it was good to listen to my own advice as well as learn something new. Here’s what I’ve tried …”  _ Tap, tap, tap.  _ “Sometimes I approached them directly. Sometimes that was harder to do, and so I had to follow them around a bit until they let their guard down, or I lingered around. And sometimes … I had to do a foul play.”

“Foul play?” Yuuya repeats.  _ Are those the bad deeds that aren’t bad? _

“It was fun.”

Settling back in his seat, Yuuya tries to take a deep breath. He’s had his seatbelt so tight around him that he tries to pull it back, but it locks up and remains snug across his chest. Swallowing through the pressure then, Yuuya asks with the brightest smile he can manage, “Sir, are you perhaps looking for a girlfriend?” As far as Yuuya is aware, Heartland hasn’t dated. Maybe that one day, when Heartland was in town … 

_ Was he on a date? _

The last time Yuuya said that, Heartland became all flustered and embarrassed. This time though, he laughs outright, eyes crinkling at the corners. “Well, it’s a similar relationship to that, just a teensy bit different. Still though, it’s the same as filling up the hole in your heart and mind. I take my words as seriously as I expect others to.”

_ Tap, tap, tap. _

At the awkward silence, Yuuya leans forward. The seatbelt won’t let him reach far, but when he stretches out his arms his fingers can graze the top of the latch for the glovebox. Heartland’s favourite candies are in there, but … Yuuya can’t quite reach it. With one last stretch and a groan, Yuuya says, “Do you want a candy?” It probably sounds better if he asks his teacher instead of just saying outright that he wants a sweet to quell the nervousness in his stomach.

“No, that’s fine,” Heartland says airily.

Yuuya stretches forward, groaning, and his fingers catch on the latch. He clicks it open.

However, rather than hundreds of coloured lollipops and hard candies crashing on the ground, all Yuuya sees is one small paper box. There are no treats in here, nor in the side pockets on the door. Yuuya glances back at the box. There’s a bit of writing on the box, in simple katakana that reads …

Laxative.

“Sorry, Yuuya,” Heartland says, voice still airy and light, “but I don’t have candy here. After all …” He stretches across, tapers a hand up Yuuya’s arm to force goose pimples there. 

“This isn’t my car.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ,.. yeeeeah  
> (also sorry for the long chapter - i couldn't find a good place to split it. i hope you enjoy though!)


	34. Chapter 34

_ _

_ Who is … my teacher? _

_ He’s a man who taught my fifth grade class. He knew about Reira living in an abusive household and he intervened. He’s dorky and silly, a bit off at times, but isn’t everyone? He took care of everyone in the class. He eats candies to curb his smoking habits. He laughs freely. He’s interested in anime and manga and all the video games and books that we children are interested in. In a way, he’s like a child. He  _ gets  _ us … _

Yuuya peers up, fingers laced around the seat belt digging into his chest. Heartland has his eyes back on the road now.

“Sir … what do you mean? What … this isn’t your car?” Yuuya hears his voice pitch up, disbelief evident. This must be his teacher’s car. Why wouldn't it be? Why would Heartland drive another car, this one with laxatives in the glove box instead of candy? 

“Yuuya.” Heartland speaks his name low and slow, rolling the syllables off his tongue. “Don’t you think your happiest moment keeps being updated? You keep returning to those happiest moments, don’t you?”

“I don’t … understand.” Yuuya drags in a deep breath, struggling against the seatbelt pressed into him. Why can’t he loosen this? Where is Heartland taking him? The truck is still ahead of them, but for one terrible, fleeting moment Yuuya thinks that Serena might not be in there. Could Serena still be at the ice rink? He never saw her leave the bathroom; he was so distracted by the guttural growls coming from the delivery truck outside.

_ Tap, tap, tap. _

“To me, my happiest moment has updated  _ today.”  _ Heartland turns to smile at him, and Yuuya sees his sallow cheeks rise up, pinched so tightly at the corners that it looks painful. His eyes get screwed up in the process, bent in several places that makes them more like half moons. They still bug out though, like a frog. Those eyes never stop looking at him, only growing deeper, more intense. Heartland isn’t even looking at the road anymore, still driving forward. Yuuya wants to tell him to watch the road, to stop looking, but he’s frozen in fear.

“You see, Yuuya, I feel happiest when I too can fill up the hole in my mind that's been empty for a while.” Heartland chuckles at his own words, and it’s not quite the breezy laughter that Yuuma often hears in the classroom. There’s a twinge of glee that feels out of place, a sort of maniacal twist that makes Yuuya’s gut fill with dread. There is something wrong here. There is an oddity that Yuuya can’t escape from.

“When you find what you’ve been looking for, and when you make it yours – that’s filling the blank in your mind and heart. I guess, when you’ve dealt with so much trouble, the payoff seems all the more rewarding.” He cocks his head to the side, buggy eyes rolling towards Yuuya. “Wouldn’t you agree?”

Yuuya doesn’t know what to say. The man in the driver’s seat is a different man – someone that Yuuya never knew in this timeline, never figured out who he was or what he was doing –

Suddenly the car stops and starts, even though the delivery truck has gone ahead of them. Yuuya flings forward like a paper doll, coughing as the seat belt digs into his neck and chest.

“Yuuya, you lied to me about one thing. There’s something you said that I can’t just ignore.”  _ Tap, tap, tap.  _ “You said to me that the detective game is just a game, and that you only ‘think’ there’s a kidnapper in Heartland City. But … your actions tell me you’re lying. You actions tell me that you  _ know  _ there’s a kidnapper.”

Yuuya swallows hard, coughing. Has he been that obvious? Yuuto once told him that he was predictable, but Yuuya didn’t think anyone would figure out. And Heartland – what does he know about the serial kidnappings? How involved has he been?

“As a teacher, it deeply worries me to know that some of my children are thinking there are adults prowling through the streets and attempting to kidnap them. That’s a scary thought to have, isn’t it? But as you said before, both you and Yuuto have connections to the law and the newscasters. You both know something … as do I. And so I couldn’t ignore your words. But at the same time, I also couldn’t ignore that there was someone  _ outwitting me.” _

_ Outwitting … _

The car swerves to the side, suddenly pulling off into a sideroad. Yuuya gasps, eyes flying to the wide front window. The Tsukumo Foods delivery truck pulls off from this road too and to the side; however, Heartland’s car keeps moving forward, picking up speed down the country road.

“S –”

“Oh don’t worry,” Heartland says, tapping his shoulders thrice. “Serena isn’t in that car – just Tsukumo Yuuma’s father.”

A knife goes through Yuuma’s heart. No blood, no insides pouring out of him, but in that moment Yuuya sees red. Heartland still has his hand on him, and his eyes digging into Yuuya’s heart and soul. The man before him isn’t his teacher though. No, this is someone else, someone that outwitted Yuuya. 

This man he cannot trust.

Wrenching back from Heartland’s grip, Yuuya tries to put as much distance between the two of them. The seatbelt makes it hard for him to break away, but he manages to cram himself against the car door and push his feet out. He lets out one – just one – scream. After all, no one will hear him. These are unfamiliar roads,and they haven’t passed by a house in at least twenty minutes. Heartland has taken him out of the city, away from his friends and family and allies and anyone who could care about him going  _ missing. _

“I didn’t know what you were doing at first, Yuuya. You just seemed like a well-meaning boy befriending Reira, a girl who was abused in her house. I was certain you weren’t the first to figure that out, but you were the first to react. So I helped you then, got closer to you and your mother. You really are a good kid.

“But back then I didn’t know what you were doing, not until I saw you tail Izayoi Rin. She’s a girl from another elementary school, someone who you shouldn’t have paid half a mind to. I knew this. You didn’t even start befriending her earlier on in the semester. It was just after Reira was safe though that I watched you and your friends follow her to her cram school. Then, the execution day when I was supposed to kidnap her, you were there. I was just down the street, react to help Rin into the car and  _ that woman _ was there. She  _ saw  _ me that day, and she knew who I was, and she must’ve seen something.

“That day, I gave you and your mother a ride home from the grocery store. My plan failed only because you were there at that exact moment.”

_ No way.  _

The car picks up speed, whizzing down the back-country road that’s chipped in places and pot-holed in others. Yuuya tries to look around for anything familiar, but he’s lost in this place. Maybe he’ll arrive at another city, but wherever Heartland is taking him … For now, Yuuya is missing.

“I bet you’re surprised – I can see it in your face.” Heartland’s fingers pinch his cheek before Yuuya can arch back. They leave a stinging mark on his face that he can’t brush away.

“I bet it’s ironic that you didn’t suspect anything even when I answered your questions. You kept talking about Rin, telling me you wanted to befriend a girl who you shouldn’t have had anything to do with. You didn’t have any similarities, did you? But I told you how I got her guard down, how I made myself appealing to an elementary school girl. I’m a teacher – she would trust me.”

_ No way. _

“Yuuya, that was the second time you stopped me. You interfered, and that time I knew it wasn’t a coincidence. With Reira, it was obvious you were interested in protecting her. You even wrote a story about wanting to be a hero – do you remember? But with Rin … I knew I needed to figure you out.”

Heartland’s features grow tighter as he bites his lip and squeezes his eyes, as if trying to draw thoughts out of his mind. Yuuya can only imagine what sick scenarios lay in there. This man … his teacher … he should have never trusted him. He was a teacher, he had alibis, but what he was doing was  _ wrong. _

“I decided to lay a trap for you. By pure coincidence, I suppose, dear Serena was isolated from the class when you stood up for Reira. I thought she might bounce back after that, but she began to distance herself instead. She’s a weak-hearted girl, did you know that? Her parents expect great things out of her. So when she failed at standing up for herself, she attacked herself. She shut herself away and became what you and your friends would call ‘a loner.’ And for me, well … she met my conditions.”

A slow smile splits over Heartland’s face. 

“One day after class I invited Serena to come watch the hockey game. She didn’t seem very interested at first, but then I told her it was for extra credit. She must have known she didn’t want to disappoint her parents because she went. I made sure that her comings and goings were obvious enough to the class – I even told dear Yuuto about Serena in the hopes that he’d tell you.

“But even with all that planning, I wouldn’t know for certain unless you came to the game. Would Serena meet your conditions too of someone to save? Would you come to her aid like the hero you wanted to be?”

_ No way. _

“Before you came, I bought her a white hot chocolate, told her that girls deserved to be spoiled on White Day by their teachers, and that I’d already bought drinks for the girls who came to the game with me. Her drink though, I spiked with a laxative. I timed it so that she would be sick by the time you arrived, an opportunity for you to follow her. You’re painfully obvious, did you know that?” Teasingly, Heartland reaches out to touch him again. This time, Yuuya only shivers. He’s stuck. He’s trapped.

“You might be thinking, ‘Why Tsukumo Foods? What does Tsukumo Yuuma’s father have to do this with?’ Well, it didn’t really matter which member of that family came to town, but ever since the start of this  _ game  _ I’ve been looking for someone to take the fall for me. There’s a man by the river who hung out with you, Reira, and Rin – a dorky, too-nice-for-his-own guy named Tsukumo Yuuma who I could blame.”

With a whine, the car veers sharply to the right, crashing Yuuma into the door.

“It didn’t really matter to me who came, but it frightened you, didn’t it? You knew something about who I wanted to pin the murders on even though I never committed a single one. You knew me better than me, sometimes. But still …” A deep sigh. “The pieces fell together in the end. This is nearing the end of the game, right? This is the real me.”

_ No way. _

Yuuya shakes his head, hard, back and forth, his goggles clinging desperately to clumps of hair. What is Heartland saying? Who is he? How could he figure this all out?

Heartland’s words seem to blur after that, coming together as threads of consciousness that Yuuya can’t ignore.

“When it was with Reira, I had to act like your teacher. You were just looking out for a classmate, weren’t you? So I didn’t push forward as much. I backed you up and took your concerns into consideration, even though you were acting a bit strange. The language you used … the way you talked about Reira … you knew more than you should have, and you were convinced that not only was she in danger from her mother but from someone else too. That’s why you walked Reira home. Most fifth-grades aren’t that intuitive, or wouldn’t notice that Reira was just in as much danger outside of her house as she was inside of it. You were with Reira all the time, never leaving her side. I never had a chance to target her.

“I tried to reason my assumptions. You were friends with Tsukumo Yuuma – I’d seen you together, back when I was planning to kidnap and kill Reira. Yuuma’s a good kid, a weird adult, but I figured it was him who told you about the loner kids. You used to be one yourself before dear Yuuto brought you into his friendship group. Good thing Yuuto wasn’t really paying attention to you until later on.

“Looking back at it, I spoke too much about child protection agencies. Apparently, while you’re quite smart in some regards, you don’t know much about CPS. If you report something to CPS, they come at once. But I told you they were coming the day after, and you believed me. On March 3, I called CPS. Reira was absent that day, but you showed up without a single flicker of fear in your eyes. That day, I dropped Reira from my target list. 

“You know who I’ll tell you about next, right? I started focusing on Izayoi Rin. I went to the bus at Neo Domino Elementary to drop off my gear in preparation, just in case I might find her walking all alone from school one day. I didn’t hear anyone in that bus that night, but I dropped my gear off. Then, when Reira was saved, you told me that you hid her in the bus … the same bus I put my gear in. Something went wrong. Why were you there? 

“That day, I had never been more surprised by your actions. You kidnapped a classmate that I meant to kill that day – that I went to her house looking for her – and hid her in the bus where I planned on targeting the next classmate. The chances of all those events happening are slim, do you know that?”

Heartland’s voice drags lower, deeper, a growl that seems to come from the dark pit in his stomach. “I destroyed all the evidence there after Reira went to live in Academia for a while.

“When you talk to people Yuuya, you’re older. You're not like Yuuto, who I know has a lawyer father. There’s something else behind your words, certainty and conviction. You’re a different kind of kid, Yuuya, and you  _ fascinate me.” _

Now Heartland’s laughing that same rich, oppressive laugh that makes Yuuya’s insides squirm. It echoes round the car that keeps barrelling down the country road, never seeming to meet up with another street or house. Where are they going? 

_ Tap, tap, tap. _

“I bet you’re wondering about this car. I can’t tell you all of its secrets, but let me tell you some hints. I have a different standard for buying cars than most people. I like old retro cars, but they must all look the same – same build, same colour. They have to be identical so I can use them as dummies. It worked the first time, and it will work again.”

Heartland’s hand comes round to hold his shoulder, nails digging just enough into Yuuya’s skin. “I quite like this game, don’t you?”

_ No.  _

_ No, no, no. _

_ I was tricked. Serena is safe, probably ill but still safe at the ice rink. That laxative wasn’t even to kidnap her – no, it was so that she would lure me out of the rink, where few people were walking around. Serena might have been a loner, but so was I. I had none of my friends with me, no one to watch my back. That should have been fine, but then again … Heartland went after Yuuri and he was a boy too. _

_ Moreover, what happened today … What I know now … It makes sense. _

_ In Reira’s case in the other timeline, only a man who was familiar to Reira could go into the backyard and take Reira from the storehouse. Reira would have trusted Heartland because he was a safe adult and her kind teacher. She would have stuck with him thinking that he was saving her.  _

_ He wasn’t.  _

_ In Rin’s case in the other timeline, Heartland must’ve told her that he was a teacher from Heartland Academy. Rin would trust a teacher from another school, especially one who was interested in her. After all, it was Heartland who told me how to ‘get her guard down.’ _

_ In Yuuri’s case in the other timeline, Heartland would have known Yuuri was a boy. He uses the correct pronouns. But not everyone knew about that, especially not Tsukumo Yuuma who barely knew Yuuri. Heartland killed Yuuri to take himself off the suspect list – the list that Durbe had on record in the future. However, Heartland had to be certain that Yuuma would be suspected of killing Yuuri, so he planted gay, pedophilic literature in his room.  _

_ Right from the start though, Heartland must have known Yuuma. He knew Yuuma before he knew Kazuma even, and he must have seen both Reira and Rin around Yuuma. That was when he found someone to plant the blame on. _

_ Right from the start … I’ve been deceived. Heartland has been around for every one of the cases, but he was my teacher. He helped me save Reira, and that brought my guard down even further. He was  _ right there  _ when I was tailing Rin, and still I just thought he was in the area. The words he uses, the way he acted around us kids … I made excuses for him.  _

_ In the past, there was a time where Mom must have seen the killer. It was then, when she came out of the grocery store laden with bags. She looked across the street and saw Heartland leading Rin into the car. It alerted her, and Heartland stopped – but that was the scene. Eighteen years in the future, Mom saw that same scene coming out of the grocery store. That was a familiar scene, and it got her killed. _

_ Speaking of the future, there are clues there too. Durbe had a suspect list, one that was refuted and cast aside because it seemed less likely. I bet it had Heartland’s name on it.  _

_ I trusted Heartland so much that I made excuses for him. I never suspected him because, like Yuuma, he seemed like a trusting adult. He seemed like someone who cared for the well-being of kids. _

_ I was so wrong. _

_ Heartland is manipulative. Heartland is a stalker. Heartland is a pedophile, a kidnapper, a killer. There were far too many signs that I brushed aside as quirks. Those aren’t quirks. Those are clues. At the time, those clues were cloudy in my mind, but they are clear now.  _

_ I’m sitting next to the real serial kidnapper and killer, Heartland. _

“You’ve been blanking out for a while,” Heartland comments. “Have you checked out where we are yet? It’s begun to snow.”

Yuuya’s eyes lift up to the windshield, through which he can see the snow clumping on the glass. Since they’ve been driving it’s gotten darker, so much so that Yuuya can’t quite make out where they are. Looming shadows stretch all along the snowy, slushy ground. There is a single light, but it’s above where a bridge is …

The car is off the road. Heartland’s taken it down a hill to the river, and what Yuuya thought was snow is in fact dark, churning waters. Yuuya can’t see the other side of the river, only the endless river. The snow melts upon contact. Nowhere does Yuuya see civilisation; nowhere is there anyone to notice him missing. The only other person is Heartland, sitting in the driver’s seat and tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. His toadish face is split in a dastardly grin that sets Yuuya’s teeth on edge.

Tears begin to drip down Yuuya’s eyes. He’ all alone, missing, kidnapped … isn’t he?

Heartland reaches a hand down to unbuckle his seatbelt. Yuuya goes to do the same, but finds the buckle won’t open. He jiggles it once, twice, and then stops when Heartland begins to chuckle.

“It’s game over for you and for me. You solved the detective game, but at what cost? You’ve saved all your friends, all those precious lives, but the hero had to put his life on the line.” Heartland holds out his fingers and begins to name them off.

“Reira.”

_ She’s at home, isn’t she? She might’ve gone on the train, or more likely she went home to see my mama. I bet Mama told her to come over on White Day. _

“Rin.” 

_ Yuugo would have picked her up after school. He’d walk her to her classes and wait for her there, and then even walk her home too. Rin’s no longer alone because she has Yuugo trailing after her. _

“Yuuri.” 

_ He’s with Yuuto. Maybe the two of them went to the hideout together. I bet Yuuto walked Yuuri home since I was elsewhere. I bet they both got home safe. _

Heartland claps his hands together, jolting Yuuya once more. Heartland’s seatbelt is dangling in his hands, a painful reminder for Yuuya, but Heartland hasn’t left yet. 

“You’re incredible, Yuuya. Even though you’re an elementary schooler, and someone I wouldn’t have pinned as a hero, you’ve accomplished some remarkable things. You’ve always been one step ahead of me, stopping my plans every single time. I still can’t believe you cornered me for as a long as you did. But oh” – he snakes a hand along Yuuya’s jaw – “don’t worry, you didn’t upset me, not really. No, I actually felt quite thrilled.”

The hand catches on his jaw, tugging his face forward. Yuuya screams at once and pulls away, but Heartland doesn't even flinch.

“It’s as if you had seen the future and come back.”

Yuuya grinds his teeth. His stomach hurts and his eyes burn, but ahead of him is a monster. He won’t look weak before a monster. For too long he’s been hunting Heartland. For too long he’s regretted the choices he’s made. Not anymore. Yuuya has waited for this moment.

Heartland slides out of the front seat. There’s a whirring sound that makes Yuuya think it’s some kind of machine – in fact, it’s the window that Heartland is opening. Yuuya jiggles his seatbelt once more, terror rising. Where is his teacher going? What is he doing?

“I want to make this clear, Yuuya,” Heartland says. “I don't want to be regretting my decisions in the future. What I’m going to do to you isn’t about revenge for you stopping my plans. I don’t care about that, not anymore. However, I do need to reward myself for what I have accomplished.” The trunk clicks open; Yuuya wrings his head around to see just what Heartland is doing, but he can’t spot anything.

“Trust me,” Heartland continues, “I harbour no ill will against you. In fact, I like you quite a bit.”

He appears at the driver’s seat, tossing a basketball up and down in his palms. The lighting shines just enough on his ghastly face that Yuuya sees just how far his eyes protrude. Those eyes are familiar; Yuuya has seen them before. Eyes, eyes, like toad’s, like a bug’s.

“This is the price you will pay for my unfulfilled desires.”

Yuuya wrenches back. “I know what you’re gonna do, and it’s … this is game over for you too!”

Heartland shrugs. “It is – but you’ll be the only one drowning tonight. Enjoy.”

The ball rolls forward, lolling off Heartland’s long, spindly fingers. It bounces off the seat and then down towards the pedals. It rolls there, balancing on the pedal.

Yuuya swallows. The debt that he had to pay for saving his friends.

“Don’t worry, dear Yuuya. Your accomplishments deserve credit. After all, your friends are safe. You made sure that they were never alone, never went missing. You’ve succeeded in that regard. But then again, don’t my actions deserve a reward too? Didn’t I tell you before: everyone has a right to a return for their efforts.”

Once more, there are hands on his cheeks, and this time Yuuya snaps forward to bite them.

“Bull _ shit!”  _ Yuuya screeches. “You have no rights, none!”

“How come?” Heartland says, teasing the words in his pink lips. “Sure, what I’ve done is illegal, but you’ve done the same. What’s important to take away from this is that we both did things to fill the blanks in our minds and hearts.”

“You’re wrong.”

Leaning forward in the car, Heartland dangles his arms through the window. “You’ve earned this dimension’s peace, Yuuya. You made sure that no one was missing. But in the end, I’ll earn something too: a dimension where only Sakaki Yuuya is missing.”

Heartland's hand swipes down and bats the basketball under the car. It catches not only on the pedal, flattening it to the ground, but also becomes wedged between the pedal and the dashboard above. Without any way to get free, the car veers forward, hurrying down the snowy hill towards the water. Yuuya screams at once, even before the car makes impact with the dark waters. The last thing he sees of Heartland is his eyes glowing from the meagre light.

Then the car crashes into the waves, going straight down into the river. Water pours into the open window, soaking Yuuya in his simple winter jacket and gloves. Despite the river not being frozen, the water feels like icicles on his skin. He squirms as much as he can under the seat belt, lifting his head up when the water begins to fill inside the car. The more water that enters the car, the further it begins to sink into the ocean.

_ No!  _ Yuuya thinks. “No!” he screams. “Help, someone, help!”

But he never saw a single person on the car ride here. It was just him and Heartland this entire time. 

Yuuya’s hands tangle with the seat buckle, yanking and pulling. The water rises to his chin, and he arcs his head back. He needs to take deep breaths, needs to not waste the remaining oxygen he has.

The water goes over his head.

Yuuya panics. 

_ Help!  _ he cries. _ Damn it! Shit! Fuck! I can’t get out of here. _

_ He’s … won. _

_ Heartland won. _

Yuuya’s brain jolts from the cold. His movements are sluggish, lungs screaming for air. His ears are blocked so if anyone is calling out to him, he won’t hear them. However, who would be out at this hour? Who will notice him missing?

And then his mind blurs.

_ There’s … Mama.  _

_ He’s younger now, so he has to look up quite a bit, but she’s standing above him, and next to him really, tousling his hair. She’s always been with him, hasn't she? At the festival, on camping trips, on the first day of school. She’s been with him every step of the way. _

_ And there’s Yuuto. In this timeline, Yuuya trusted Yuuto with his heart. It showed. It worked. Yuuto’s smiling at him, clapping him on the shoulder, congratulating him for being Reira’s friend and for taking care of all the children in the dimensions.  _

_ And Yuugo and Yuuri. They’re next to Yuuto, bickering but smiling. Without either of them the dimensions would have lost someone too. It was Yuuri who helped keep Reira safe when she was alone in the bus. It was Yuugo who walked Rin to and from clubs and made sure she was never alone. _

_ Reira. Yuuya has saved Reira in this dimension. She had her eleventh birthday and will graduate elementary school next year. She’s no longer alone because she’s friends with his friends. She’ll keep going to school and she’ll live a long happy life. _

_ Yuuya swallows as he remembers another girl. There’s one person, a girl in the future who always told him to keep smiling, a girl whose picture is worth a thousand words, a girl with a dream.  _

_ Yu … zu. _

_ That’s her name, right? _

_ Crack. _

_ That’s … her name? _

_ Crack.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! so starting next week the chapters will change up a bit; since Yuuya is, erm, "gone," the chapters will be following the POVs of several other characters in the series. if you've watched the Erased anime, you won't have seen these scenes. technically, if you've read the original manga, you haven't seen these scenes either since they were included in a spin-off manga (by the same mangaka though) called BokuMachi: Gaiden. i've chosen to include most of the Gaiden chapters during this period in the manga; however, some chapters will be released later in the fic. anyways, look forward to hearing from some other characters in the following weeks ^W^
> 
> thank you for reading!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgot to put this up at the beginning, but this warning applies for this and the following "Heartland" chapters: there are mentions of physical and sexual abuse, predatory behaviour, and pedophilia. i don't go into detail about it, but it's both mentioned and implied. 
> 
> please take care of yourself while reading - these chapters were tough for me to write.

_ _

_ I was thinking things would end up like this someday. _

_ “She’s not breathing! Shit, she’s not breathing! What the fuck is this? What did … what should we do? What do I do?” _

_ I was thinking … _

_ Eyes. _

_ “Hey, Heartland, what did you do?” _

_ On that day, I could see the spider’s thread. _

* * *

_ Crack! _

Heartland lifts a hand to his face, but he falls just a second too short before Roger’s fist is in his nose – literally – and blood is everywhere. Heartland lets out a scream, just one, and falls back on his hands and knees. There’s no point in getting up; Roger will just push him down, anyways. Plus, no one will come for him. He’s all alone in the backyard. Inside, Heartland can hear his mother and father preparing dinner, oblivious to the fact that their eldest son is beating up his little brother.

Carefully, Heartland wipes at his nose and lips. His nose feels broken – it burns all the way across his face like he has a sinus infection. 

Thankfully, Roger doesn’t throw another punch at him. He stands about Heartland, arms crossed above his chest. Just a few years older, Roger has a slim, gaunt face and a long, hooked nose. He’s got little eyes that, when he smiles, twinkle and twist up at the corners. They don’t stick out like Heartland’s, but they’re captivating in their own way. Roger also doesn’t have Heartland’s hair; no, his white-blond hair appears in baby curls around his head and face.

When Roger smiles, it belies his arrogance and anger.

When Heartland smiles, it looks like a dead frog.

“Are you gonna lay there all day?” Roger quips, toeing at Heartland. “There’s blood all over your face, did you know that?”

Heartland nods. Of course he does. Roger’s trying to get him riled up so he can throw another punch. However, Heartland knows how to play his brother’s games. He won’t give Roger any reason to hurt him. If Roger really needs a punching bag, he can always target someone at school. In the schoolyard, Heartland has seen Roger throw rocks at girls. He’s seen him pulls the pants down on other kids, or beat them until they’re black and blue all across their legs and ass.

Sometimes, Roger beats him that badly too.

Never has Roger ever gotten in trouble. He’s not secretive, just good at telling lies and seeming to live under the radar. Maybe it’s because Roger just isn’t that noticeable. He’s a pretty guy, slim, thin-faced, but he doesn’t stand out. He’s neither at the top nor the bottom of the class, and he’s friends with only a handful of people.

Heartland? He’s at the top of his class. His teacher told him that he should grow up and be a teacher because he’s so smart, so friendly, so approachable.

Heartland shivers on the ground. If he were a teacher, would he notice his students beating up on one another? Would he be aware of the  _ shit  _ that goes on on the play yard?

A hand bats him on the head. It’s just enough strength to roll Heartland’s face to the ground, and he screams as his broken nose makes contact with the dirty cement. It leaves a large, bloody mark where his face was. Heartland yanks his head back up, ignoring the shooting, searing pain the action causes. He wants to scream at his brother, but the words fall back into his throat.

Roger is grinning at him. “Have you ever wanted to play a game, little brother?”

_ A … game?  _ The only game Heartland knows how to play is hopskotch, and that’s just because he’s watched the girls at his school play it every day for a week now. He doesn’t have any friends on the playground, so he watches the other kids play. Even though Heartland has no friends of his own, he knows who is friends with who. He knows which children always play together, which children never play together; which ones walk home alone, and which ones walk together. He’s not quite sure what to do with the information, but it beats thinking of the beatings he’ll receive when he gets home.

With a low laugh, Roger steps over him and settles down on his stomach. When Heartland tries to rise, Roger’s fingers are in his hair at once and throwing his head back onto the cement. His skull collides with the ground with an audible  _ crack!  _ that makes him groan. However, Roger doesn’t let go of the tuft of green hair.

“There’s a girl in your class I wanna get to know, if you know what I mean.” He licks his lips, eyes mad or wild or something that Heartland can’t put his finger on.

“I … don’t?”

_ Crack!  _ goes Heartland’s head against the cement. He groans in pain, hips wriggling under Roger’s weight. 

“Well you don’t have to because you won’t be a part of it. But that girl in your class, the one with the golden hair – bring her to me.”

_ Mi … rai?  _ Heartland swallows. “That’s Mirai, but I don’t really know her all that well. I don’t really talk with her.”

Heartland glances up to find Roger’s eyes boring into him. Roger has such small, vicious eyes that cut into Heartland. He doesn’t bang Heartland’s head into the ground anymore, but the weight on Heartland’s stomach only grows heavier. He feels something snake up his leg, and he tries not to make a sound or squirm. It won’t make Roger go.

Then Roger gets off him and yanks him to his feet, letting Heartland stumble a few steps more on the dusty ground. The sun hangs low over their heads, lazily bathing them in an afternoon glow. Heartland sees shadows all around Roger’s face, hiding the monstrous looks.

“Bring Mirai to the storehouse tomorrow.”

Heartland nods. 

With a grunt, Roger storms off back towards the house, shaking his bloody knuckles clean. Heartland raises a hand to his face, feeling that there is sticky blood oozing down his nose, clumping around his chapped lips, and dripping all down his chin and onto his polo shirt. He won’t be able to hide the bloodstains, but even then his parents won’t notice. They might ask if he tripped, and he’ll answer yes. They won’t ever suspect that Roger beat him.

Heartland waits until he’s certain Roger is indoors and in his room before he creeps up the back steps and slips into the house. The back door leads into the dining room and kitchen, both rather spacious rooms compared to the typical Japanese house. There is a dining room table with four chairs around it centred just off from the kitchen. Heartland spots his mother at the stove, sauteeing strips of meat and vegetables for dinner.

Compared to the rather beautiful house, his mother is bland. She wears nothing more than leggings and long shirts, and always rolls up her sleeves. She looks like a housewife, and she acts like one; like him, she doesn’t stand out at all.

Without turning around, she says, “How was school today?”

She already asked him that when he first got home.

“Fine,” Heartland says. 

“Good.”

He leaves her in the kitchen, wiping at his drippy, bloody nose. Heartland heads through the living room and up a set of stairs into his bedroom. He thankfully doesn’t have to share a room with Roger, and his room is perhaps the only place where Roger won’t hurt him. Never before has Roger tried to hurt him in the bedroom.

Sighing, Heartland kicks the door closed behind him. While his room is safe, it’s rather cramped. His bed is pushed up against the opposite wall, and there’s just enough floor space between the bed and the door for a small rug. No desk, no bookshelf – all that the room is good for is sleeping or hiding from Roger. Still, Heartland feels at peace under his star-printed covers. He crawls into bed and under the blankets. Under his pillow he’s hidden a book he borrowed from the library – an anthology of famous Japanese short stories. His favorite course is Japanese literature because of the metaphors and allusions present in all of the short stories. Heartland likes to look for the meaning behind everything.

So far, he’s only read one of the short stories. They’re complicated, with complex kanji that he won’t learn until high school. With no furigana on the sides, Heartland has to have a dictionary next to him to decipher the words. Still, it helps him pass the time. He’ll spend hours alone in his room, reading, learning, unraveling.

When his mother calls him down for dinner, Heartland stays in his room and keeps reading. He’ll steal a late-night snack once everyone is in bed. Sometimes at the table Roger runs his legs up Heartland’s to get a reaction out of him. Sometimes Roger teases him. Sometimes no one in his family recognises he’s there.

Heartland reads until the room grows too dark and his eyelids become too heavy. His head begins to tilt forward and his nose grows closer and closer to the book. A minute later, he’s asleep, and he doesn’t wake up until the sun hits his face.

* * *

_ Crack! _

Heartland screams as Roger beats and beats at his ear. While that’s not a bony part of him, his brain is there, and Heartland feels like his mind is tumble-dried in a washer from the repeated punches. Roger has him pinned to the ground too, smushing Heartland’s hurt face into the ground so that he can’t look up at him. It also muffles Heartland’s screams. 

They aren’t in the backyard today. 

They haven’t even made it out of the school yard.

“Did you even  _ talk  _ to her?” Roger screams at him. “She’s in your class for god’s sake! You couldn’t just go up and talk to her, ask her how she’s doing, ask if she wants to play with you? Are you that stupid?”

Heartland shakes his head, teeth biting into his lip. He wants to remain impassive before his brother so that maybe he’ll get off him and stop punching him, but even then Heartland knows it won’t help the situation any. He can’t help his brother. He only makes things worse, and so he just has to endure and sustain this until Roger gets off him and finds something else to be pissed off at.

Fingers skitter up Heartland’s back and rest on his shoulder blades. He stiffens. Is Roger going to pull him forward, pull him back, break his arm?

“Tomorrow, make her come to the storehouse.

“I –” He screams as Roger pulls on his ears, trying to tear them out of the sides of his head.

“Promise!”

“Fine!” Heartland shouts at last. “Fine, fine, fine!”

The weight is released from him. 

_ Tap … tap … tap.  _ It’s the sound of Roger’s feet disappearing behind him. 

Heartland waits though until he knows for sure that Roger has gone home and not just snuck behind a tree ready to jump him once more. Then, with a cough, Heartland drags himself to his feet. Every bone in his body aches. His face still feels a bit sore from where Roger punched him last time, but his teachers believed him when he said he was playing with his brother over the weekend and he fell from a tree. His parents haven't seen him yet, but if they do, he’ll just say he fell at the playground. They’ll believe him too.

Slowly, Heartland carries himself home. A part of his mind is on high-alert for Roger who could jump out behind any bush and slug him. At the same time though, Heartland feels his spirit slipping away from the world. He’s impassive, a shell of himself. What he feels is minutiae compared to what he should be able to feel. Yet he’s felt the pain for so long that it’s become a skin he must wear. 

He’s so lost in his thought that he doesn’t realise someone is talking to him and calling his name until he bumps right into them. Looking up, he finds himself face-to-face with a girl the same age as him, with long, auburn hair that’s golden in the right sunlight. She has large, honey-brown eyes and plump, pink lips. 

“Hey, you’re Heartland, aren’t you?” she says. 

“Y … eah.”

She bows towards him, flipping up and down her hair that catches in the breeze. She’s rather tall for a girl, but still quite young-looking. 

“My name’s Mirai in case you’ve forgotten.” She chuckles behind a hand, and then her expression softens. She glances over her shoulder, as if she’s looking for someone. Heartland teeters to the side to see if he can spot what’s caught her attention; however, not a moment later she’s looking back at him, grinning. “Where you off to?”

“... home.”

She swings a leg back and forth, a little too airily, a little too bold. Heartland looks over his shoulder to make sure Roger isn’t hiding around the corner watching. If his brother saw this he’d probably make the girl come over in an instant. Honestly, Heartland doesn’t care what happens to Mirai, but he really doesn’t want to deal with anything now. As it is, he wants to run away from Mirai.

“You’re always sitting by yourself, aren’t you?”

“So?”

She taps a single finger, embossed with a long, pink nail, to her lips. “Must get pretty lonely, huh?”

“Don’t care.”

Her mouth makes a little ‘o’ shape, about the same size as a ring she could wear on her fingers. “Oh,” is all she says for a moment. Then she begins swinging her leg back and forth again, twirling a hand in her hair. She’s obviously interested in him, but he’s been in school for five years now and he hasn’t cared about friends. Some dainty girl with a name meaning ‘future’ won’t be changing his opinion.

Without even saying goodbye, he shoves his hands in his pockets and makes his way down the road. Behind him he hears her shout, “Goodbye! See you in class tomorrow!”

Heartland hopes he doesn’t even live to see tomorrow.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just like the previous chapter, this chapter has mentions of physical and sexual abuse, predatory behaviour, and pedophilia. please take care of yourself while reading <3

He’s alive tomorrow, and Mirai is alive tomorrow.

In fact, she’s so alive and chipper and pesky that Heartland doesn’t even have to ask her to come with him after school – she just invites herself along on his trip home. Dressed in a flower-printed jumper and rubber boots, she toddles along after him. Whatever she says to him, Heartland can’t remember. He’s too busy thinking about why Roger wants Mirai in the storehouse. What is he going to do to her?

“So where are we going?” Mirai asks, holding her hands behind her back and swaying from side to side. Her hair’s in pigtails today, two lengths of golden straw that extend down to the small of her back. They’re fastened by white threads tied into bows.

“A warehouse by my house.”

“A … warehouse?” Mirai asks. She makes a face, pinching her eyes closed and poking out her little tongue. “What’s there?”

“My brother, actually – he likes playing in there, and …” Heartland smiles slowly. “He has some games he likes to play.”

Quick as can be, Mirai asks, “What kinds of games?”

Heartland’s teeth sink into his lip. While he’s watched the girls at school every day now, the only game he’s ever seen them play is hopskotch. What other kinds of games do girls play? What’s Mirai interested in? All he knows about her is that she’s the same age as him and in his class. That’s … not much to go off of at all. It’s like he doesn’t even know her outside of her roles as ‘student’ and ‘girl.’

However, Mirai is interested in him. She’s followed him along, faithfully so.

They turn down a little dirt path that snakes through tall bushes and taller grasses. The ground gives way to mud about halfway through, though Mirai doesn't seem bothered when her shoes squelch and slip. They’ve entered the fields now, a place where Heartland has played with – or been beaten up by – his brother for as long as he can remember. There are houses on the outskirts of the field, single buildings that appear like specks on the horizon though.

The warehouse is more than a speck. It’s a great, lumbering building made of rotting wood with an old door that squeaks and groans on its hinges. At one point it must have been a farmhouse of sorts, but ever since Heartland and Roger have been playing here they’ve never seen any farmers. From time to time they found older children making out or doing drugs in the upper floors, but no adults.

_ It’s like a hideout,  _ he thinks.

Heartland walks Mirai up a small set of steps to the great door of the warehouse. He tugs the door open, and on hinges and wheels it groans to the side. The sunlight shoots through the doorway first, illuminating a dusty, dirty ground littered with hay.

Mirai doesn’t step in. She raises a slender eyebrow, and asks, “Well, aren’t you gonna play too?”

Heartland shakes his head. “I need to go somewhere first, but I’ll meet you back here in a bit. Actually, my brother is in there …” He glances into the doorway, and suddenly Roger is there.

Because Roger is a few years older than both of them, he towers like a giant. He’s dressed a bit too formally in a dress shirt and slacks, but his hands in his pockets make him a bit more cool and casual. Heartland flinches at the thought of Roger decking him right then and there, in front of Mirai too; however, it never happens. Instead, Roger smiles brightly at Mirai.

“Hey, you’re in my little brother’s class, aren’t you? He’s got something to do at home for a bit, but all three of us will play together later on. Actually, can I show you something?”

Mirai believes him at once. “Sure, sure!” she says.

In the span of a minute, Roger has Mirai in the warehouse and the door closed behind them.

Heartland lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. He actually doesn’t have anywhere to be, and he’ll just need to be quiet and wait until Roger is done doing … whatever he’s doing in there. He really wants to run away for an hour just in the case the walls aren’t thick enough to muffle Mirai’s gasps or screams. She might not want to make those noises, but Roger can draw it out of her all the same.

With another deep sigh, Heartland sits back against the wall. His head thumps dully on the wood, and it hurts a bit.

His brother … Roger is good with girls. He knows how to get their guards down easily. He knows how to talk nicely to them, how to give them what they want. 

Heartland doesn’t know anything like that. 

_ What do girls like?  _ he asks himself.  _ Do they like toys or games? Dolls? Books?  _ He swallows. Books, like the ones he reads, or maybe even different books. The book he borrowed from the library is long-since overdue, but no one suspected him when he said that he lost it. The word of a fifth-grader is surprisingly believable.

Behind him, Heartland hears whispers. He presses his ear to the door, not because he wants to know what Roger is doing with Mirai in there, but because if he’s ever going to understand why people do what they do, he’d better pay attention.

_ She’s … gasping, like a fish out of water, like she has no couth, like she’s only in fifth grade and she shouldn’t understand this. _

Later on, when Mirai comes out, peeking her head round the door, her cheeks are flushed red and pink like the sunset above them. She presses a finger to her lips, giggling, and then slips outside. She’s still wearing her dress and gumboots, though the scarf that was once around her neck is hanging a bit loosely and dragging down her back. 

“What’s got you all smiley …” The words die in Heartland’s throat as Roger steps out, dusting off his hands. He doesn’t have a blush on his cheeks, but an afterglow that makes Heartland sick to his stomach. The fact that his brother can get all the ladies to like him, the fact that his brother can make friends so easily – it’s disgusting. Thankfully, Mirai is now fawning over Roger, asking what grade he’s in, what sport he plays, what’s his best subject.

Roger jabs a finger at her. “Walk her home, Heartland.”

He nods, eyes simmering. He pushes off from the walk and heads down the stairs and through the tall grass. After a moment, he hears Mirai come crashing behind him, nearly bowling him over; her breath is on his neck, and he cringes.

“Hey, wait up!” she jokes. She comes round to walk alongside him, still with her hands behind her back, and her shoulders and hips swaying in the breeze. Even in the cold, her blush never fades. “What were doing? You never came back? Or wait … were you just waiting outside?”

“Yeah.”

She nods, more to herself than to him. “I guess that makes sense …”

“You can’t tell anyone, you know that?”

“Huh?”

Heartland raises his head, catching her eyes in his. He needs to trap her before she opens her mouth and spills what happened. While Mirai might be a rather naive and kind girl, she’s not silent. She has friends and family, and if either of them found out what Roger did, Heartland would be in trouble. He doesn’t care about his brother, but him … no Mirai can’t say anything.

Shaking his head, Heartland says, “Don’t tell anyone about what happened today. That place … that warehouse … that’s our secret base, mine and my brother’s. If you tell someone else what happens there, then the secret is out and we’ll never let you come again.”

Mirai laughs.

“I’m serious, Mirai – don’t tell anyone.” Pausing, Heartland collects his thoughts. “So long as you don’t tell anyone, I’ll give you a book you can keep.”

“A … book?” Her face brightens at once, glowing like the sun or the moon or whatever’s blazing in the sky. “Really? You’d do that for me?”

“If you shut up about what happened today.” He settles a hand on her shoulder, holding her steady when she keeps bumping into him. “I’m serious, Mirai. If anyone found out about the warehouse, we’d all be in big, big trouble. You can’t tell  _ anyone  _ or else I’d have to tell an adult. I’d have to tell many, many adults, and you might never be able to go to school again.”

It’s not true at all, but it’s such a threat that Mirai shuts her trap and stills her bouncing. Tears quiver at the edges of her eyes. 

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

“You better.”

Heartland doesn’t drop her off right at her house, but he walks to the end of the road and sees her off. He stands at the corner of the sidewalk, one arm raised awkwardly. Ahead of him, Mirai waves and waves and waves, like a piece of paper in the wind that could easily get blown off her feet. Heartland doesn’t think he should trust her. You can’t trust anyone, especially not children. But she’s earnest, so maybe she’ll keep her word. After all, she did want that book.

He trudges home after that, the book still on his mind. Gifts, presents – they’re ways to keep people quiet. Eventually, he won’t be able to offer just books he steals from the library. He’ll need something more.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees something in a shop window. It’s a magazine with bright, bubbly kanji and cutesy characters pasted all over the cover. It screams  _ look at me, _ but Heartland sees much more than that. This is a  _ girls  _ magazine, one that he bets the girls in his class have read. There would be girls toys, girls TV shows, anything he could use to get closer to or to shut up the elementary school girls his brother takes to the warehouse.

It feels a bit silly to walk in and pluck  _ that  _ magazine off the shelf, but then again Roger’s taken him along to buy ecchi manga, so this can’t be any more embarrassing. He takes it up to the cash register where a young woman stands with curly hair fastened up by two hair clips. He refuses to meet her eyes and smile, and he only mumbles his hello. He pays for it with money he stole from his parents’ wallets – money that Roger got blamed for, but no one got punished. His parents would never suspect him of stealing.

Once he’s out of the store, Heartland heads back home with the book. He’s thankful the woman gave him a little bag to carry the magazine in; it's still embarrassing to be seen with it. 

When he gets home, he doesn’t even utter a hello. He marches up the stairs, kicking the bedroom door closed behind him, and flops down on the bed. His eyes stray to the book peeking out of the bag. There’s absolutely no nudity in it, nothing that should make his cheeks burn so badly, but he still swallows when he pulls it out. The book is about fifty or so glossy pages thick, detailing all manner of ‘girly’ things that Heartland has seen round the playground: make-up, jewelry, toys, games, beading activities.

Slowly, Heartland flips through it. There are girls everywhere – young girls, his age or even a few years older. They’re photoshopped girls, but still girls … like ones Roger would befriend. Seeing their faces makes Heartland sick to his stomach. 

About six or so pages in an extra-bright picture catches his attention. It’s a jump rope, which at once seems cooler than the hopskotch hastily drawn with chalk that the girls always play with. This jump rope is made of thick, sparkly blue and pink rope, with tassels on the handles of the same colour. The magazine picture shows three girls playing with it: two swinging the rope, and one in the middle jumping.

_ I bet I could buy this,  _ Heartland thinks, jiggling the money in his pocket. If not, he could always steal more cash. 

_ I bet the girls would let their guards down if I showed up with this. _

Chuckling, Heartland leans back on the bed. Those girls … their minds are full of blanks needing to be filled up by material things. Sure, not all of them are as dimwitted as Mirai, but Heartland yearns to see their bright faces as they compliment him for bringing gifts. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Heartland spots another book peeking out from under his pillow. He stretches out his arm and pulls it out. One of the pages is bent at the corner to mark his place; Heartland jabs a finger into the little space and flips open the pages. He’s on a new chapter of this anthology:  _ The Spider’s Thread  _ by Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. According to the sources in the back of the book, this particular short story is famous.

Heartland doubts it, but he reads it anyway. There’s something within it that has his attention though …

In the short story, there is a character named Kandata, who falls into hell since he committed many, many sins in his life. Kandata knows this, of course. However, Kandata isn’t pure evil; he committed just one act of kindness by saving a spider. It is this act that makes the Buddha contemplate casting him away to hell. After a moment, the Buddha gives Kandata a second chance. 

This second chance takes the form of a spider’s thread. Kandata climbs up the spider’s thread, up to paradise, up through the pits of hell. At the same time, other spirits and forsaken people try to climb up the spider’s thread too. These people try to take advantage of the second chance too. However, Kandata kicks at them, screaming that only he deserves this chance.

Then the spider’s thread breaks.

Kandata is cast back into hell, unable to achieve paradise. As he falls, he hears the Buddha’s parting words:  _ What a merciless man. _

Heartland read this story earlier today, before class. It’s been on his mind ever since, like a mantra that just won’t go away. There’s something about the story that inspires him. For example, what if the spider’s thread broke below Kandata? What if those other forsaken people down there also had second chances? What if the Buddha knew the spider’s thread would break, and still gave Kandata the second chance? 

_ Who deserves a second chance? _

_ Who deserves to return?  _

* * *

Heartland glances from the floor to the boy’s eyes at least three times, trying to process the situation. It’s not him being beat up today, but a little boy a year younger than him with big, big yellow eyes and tousled red hair. His clothes hang off him; hell, even his skin hangs off him, like he’s still growing into his lanky body. His feet are bare through – socked, but bare.

“Where’re your shoes?” Heartland mumbles.

The boy lets out a soft whine and buries his face in his oversized sleeves. He sniffles loudly, choking back sobs that make his body quake like a leaf in the breeze. “I … don’t know.”

Heartland crosses his arms. “Well, where’d you lose them?”

“Not where,” the boys says through his hands. “Who.”

“Who?” 

“The boys in your class.”

While not appropriate, Heartland can’t stop the ‘ah’ from escaping his lips. It makes sense: those boys pick on him too. It appears they’ve moved onto smaller targets, ones that can’t fight back. This boy can’t be more than eight years old, too young to even stand a chance against a sixth grader. Heartland’s a year older now, and a year wiser too.

“I’m a coward,” the boy says after a moment. “I couldn’t say anything back … couldn’t do anything.”

“Who cares?” Heartland shrugs. “Whether you said something or not, you’re smaller and weaker, and you would’ve been beaten up either way. You didn’t have a chance to begin with.”

Instead of bursting into tears, the boy only nods sadly. “I guess …”

“Courage isn’t about winning, did you know that? You could be a courageous person and still lose, still get the shit beaten out of you. Sometimes you just aren’t good enough. But still … courage shows when you have the determination to not give up in times of trouble.” Heartland sighs and toes off his shoes. He kicks them over to the child, eyes narrowed and set underneath his thick, green eyebrows. “Here – they aren’t your size at all, but you can have them. Don’t give them back either. I don’t want them.”

The little boy smiles at him, all mouth with just two teeth in his mouth that haven’t fallen out yet. “Thanks!” he says.

“Anytime,” Heartland mutters. He heads back to his locker to find his indoor shoes. It doesn’t really matter if they get dirty or not, as he can always buy another pair. Those other shoes – they don’t matter either. As Heartland pulls on his thin indoor shoes, he thinks about what just happened. He didn’t give the kid those shoes out of kindness. He didn’t. He could care less what happens to that kid; chances are tomorrow he’ll be beaten up again and this time Heartland’s shoes will go missing.

Then again though, the smile the boy gave him.  _ That  _ gives Heartland satisfaction. Maybe not all kids need toys – some need favours and gestures of kindness.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as it was with the previous chapter, this chapter has mentions of physical and sexual abuse, predatory behaviour, and pedophilia. please take care of yourself while reading <3
> 
> also thank you for sticking with this story during this difficult chapters. after this chapter there will be one more, and then the POV will shift to Reira. please look forward to his chapters too! :3

In sixth grade, Heartland begins to realise that while a lot of his female classmates like gifts and going to the warehouse with him and Roger, these same girls also have a lot of problems. They come to him with school problems, friend problems, and family problems. Heartland really, really wants to tell them to shove it, but so long as Roger’s around he can’t do anything but be the middle-man for Roger’s sexual favours.

The strangest of all the problems comes to him on a crisp, fall afternoon, when Heartland is shutting up the classroom windows and sweeping the floors. Most of the students have left already and headed home, but Mirai never leaves without him. This day though, she lingers at the door, holding something behind her back rather guiltily. Heartland never saw her come to class with it, so she must have gone back to her locker to get it.

However, he doesn’t want to deal with it, so he ignores her and continues sweeping.

“Heartland? Um …”

_ Sweep, sweep. _

“Look, I have this problem … that I can’t really fix …”

_ Sweep, sweep. _

“I have too many hamsters.”

Slowly, Heartland glances up. Mirai has now brought the box in front of her. Even from halfway across the classroom, he can hears the squeaks and cries. He comes closer at once and peers inside the cardboard box. There are six hamsters inside, all of them some variation of brown and white, with little ears and eyes, and teeny stubby tails. 

He looks back up, frowning. “I thought you said you were going to get  _ one.” _

“Well yeah, so did I.” Her cheeks burn and she looks down at the box. “But look at them all, so full of life. I bet they didn’t like living in the pet store. I bet they wanted to be free.”

“Pfft, free – you’ve screwed them and yourself over with trying to be a hero and a saviour. You’re stupid.”

Mirai’s cheeks pinch and she clenches her hands tighter round the box. “I know!” she says. “And that’s why I need your help. I need you to take these ones – all of them, and find homes for them. You must know where they could live, right? You have a bigger house than me.”

Heartland glances back inside the box. He doesn’t have time to care for a bunch of brainless pets. He doesn’t even  _ want  _ the hamsters, but if he turns Mirai down she might not trust him. For years Mirai has faithfully followed him to the warehouse. Roger often talks about how good she’s gotten, how she listens to him and gets on her knees before him. 

Heartland snatches the box out of Mirai’s hands and tugs it close to his own chest. All six hamsters squeal at the jostling, falling one over top of the other.

“Fine.”

Mirai claps her hands together, bouncing up and down on her heels. “Thank you, thank you! You’re the best! I can always trust you to keep my secrets for me.”

“Whatever,” Heartland says. “Walk yourself home today, OK? I need to take these back.”

“Roger that!” she says, saluting him on her way out the door. Whenever Mirai moves, sparkles seem to follow her. She skips out the door and her feet clitter-clatter all the way down the hallway. Heartland doesn't watch her go – Mirai is unimportant in his life – but stares down at these little lives that she’s entrusted to him. He can’t take care of them. He can’t let her know that he put them in the bushes or anything.

Sighing, he sets the box down on the desk and finishes sweeping up the classroom. When the sun begins to the set below the horizon, the classroom is finally clean, and Heartland takes the box of hamsters home with him. All down the road he hears their incessant, high-pitched squeals. They keep stepping and rolling on top of each other no matter how much Heartland holds the box still. And they’re  _ heavy  _ despite being only six little fluff-balls. The further he carries them, the less cuter they get too. They begin to look like deformed rats with no tails and beadier eyes. 

When he gets home, he marches right up to his room without saying hello to anyone. There Heartland deposits the hamsters on the bed. They keep squealing though. They might be hungry … or thirsty …

Slowly, he slips off the bed and pitter-patters downstairs. His mother is in the kitchen, but no one else seems to be home. She glances over her shoulder when she spots him, face brightening at once.

“Did you have cleaning duty, dear?”

“Yeah …” Heartland says. He reaches up on his tiptoes to open one of the large, wooden cupboards above the countertops. Inside there are two shelves. The top one holds larger cups, the kinds that you would fill with juice for a party. Heartland’s fingers fumble at the bottom of the shelf, but he can’t reach up to it.

A hand reaches over his and takes down the pitcher. “This what you’re looking for?”

“Yeah …”

His mother doesn’t ask any questions. Heartland brings the pitcher back upstairs, but first he heads to the bathroom and fills it mostly full with water. Then, carefully, he brings it back to his bedroom and sets it on the floor. One eye rolls up to the box of hamsters squealing and screaming. Their noises grate on his nerves. 

Snatching up the box, Heartland reaches in and grabs one of the hamsters. He squeezes, the poor animal squealing and crying out. Heartland hears a crack of small, flimsy bones before he plunks the hamster into the water. Its legs begin to paddle at once, head rising up to keep its nostrils above the water. Maliciously, Heartland pokes it all the way to the bottom. Then he reaches into the box and does it again, and again, and again, each time squeezing the hamsters a bit tighter, each time pushing the bodies further and further into the pitcher. Water sloshes all over his floor, soaking the edges of his pants. 

When all the hamsters are in the pitcher, the room is quiet.

Brushing off his hands, Heartland skips down the stairs in search of juice. He’s thirsty too. 

A few hours later though, he returns, peeking through the doorway. The sight that beholds him is truly magnificent: there’s one brown and white hamster floating on top of the bodies of the other hamsters, struggling to crawl up the glass of the pitcher. Its little paws scrabble against the bodies below; its entire body is soaked, eyes wide in terror, squealing –

Heartland smiles widely. There’s one hamster left, a saviour on the bodies of his fallen comrades.

Kneeling down by the pitcher, Heartland reaches a hand in and scoops up the damp hamster. He brushes the fur backwards to warm up the small animal that still screeches and screams. This time though the sound isn’t quite so annoying or painful. This hamster, unlike Kandata in his book, lived. This hamster used the other bodies to save himself.

This hamster got a second chance.

Humming to himself, Heartland meanders around his room in search of a place to put the hamster. On his windowsill is a bucket that he once used to collect bugs in the tall grass. It’s not padded or anything, but it’ll do for the night. Tomorrow, he’ll go out and buy a cage for the hamster and some proper food. He’ll even get the hamster a wheel as a prize for its efforts.

The hamster tumbles into the bucket. Heartland peers down at it and its slick and slimy body. 

_ I’ll call you … Fate. _

* * *

_ Good things can only be good for a while, can’t they? After a while, the edges get frayed, the strings begin to unravel, the truth comes out … _

Heartland kicks pebbles on the ground with his shoes, enjoying the last solaces of peace before he gets home. He was supposed to keep watch of the warehouse while Roger was inside doing who knows what with an underage girl, but about five minutes in Heartland got bored and wandered off. He left Fate’s cage there because it was too heavy to carry to the park, and no one would bother the hamster anyways.

Just as Heartland rounds the corner to his house, he spots his mother standing outside. She’s not even outside on the best of days, and today is overcast and gloomy. She’s there though with a friend, chatting amiably on the porch.

Heartland swallows. The house is close to the warehouse, close enough that if someone were outside they might hear a scream. If anyone ever came close, he was supposed to lead them away.

Heartland plants himself behind a bush and waits. If he tries to distract her, he might be caught and in trouble. It doesn't really matter if Roger gets in trouble on his own since Heartland was far away from the storehouse when Roger was in there. Thus, Heartland waits in the bushes and watches the two women talk together. After a while, his mother invites the woman inside and they both climb the stairs and head into the house.

Now he’s free to move. Stealthily, he hurries along the edges of the bushes and then into the thicket of the tall grass. He runs as fast as he can, grass whipping his cheeks. The wind blows at him, seeming to push him away from the house. He makes it to the great, old door though, and lets himself in through a small slit in the doorway.

The room is black save for one meagrely lit area. His eyes take a second to adjust to the gloom of the room, but when they do they fall on Roger first. He stands across the room before several crates, back turned to Heartland. There’s an unmistakable quiver in his shoulders, as if he’s caught cold. A moment longer and his hands begin to shake too, coming up to hang around his shoulders.

“No way … No …” Roger’s words are whispers to the night swept up by the breeze. 

The next thing Heartland knows is that there’s pain blossoming across his cheek and rising up to his temple where Roger hits him. Roger keeps pummeling him with both fists, on his face, on his stomach, on his arms that come up to protect himself. Roger keeps screaming too – ugly, guttural sounds that are only muffled and groggy by the sweat pouring down his face.

“This is all your fault, you fucker!” Roger screams.

Any other time, Heartland might have given in. Not today though – today he is like Fate.

Swinging back, Heartland braces his arms in front of his face to prevent Roger from hitting anywhere that might break and bleed. “What are you talking about?” he screeches back.

“You stupid fuck!” Roger goes for a side-swing to his temple, and Heartland has to twist himself to avoid it. With his head to the side, Heartland can see the light catching on another figure now. From his spot on the ground, most of what he can see are brown buckle shoes and white socks. It’s not much to know who it is, but the fact that throughout his and Roger’s tussle this figure hasn’t gotten up … hasn’t screamed …

Heartland looks back at Roger, who’s ripped open his lip with his teeth. Blood pours down his chin and onto his polo shirt. His wide, twitching eyes protrude just a bit more in the dirty light. And in that same light Heartland can see a single, thin spider’s thread hanging just about Roger’s head.

“… what did you do?” Heartland asks.

“Nothing.”

“Tell me.”

“Nothing!”

Heartland shoves Roger in the chest, successfully moving him off. Then Heartland scrabbles across the dusty floor and pushes himself up onto the boxes. That girl up there … what’s wrong with her?

Oh.

She’s … dead. Her shirt is unbuttoned and hanging on either side of her. Her bow is fastened around her  _ neck  _ instead of her shirt collar, and it’s tight, Heartland can already tell. The little girl’s neck is bruised purple and blue like someone sponge-painted her. Her face is equally blue too, lips white, skin pasty. She’s younger than Heartland remembers when he brought her to the warehouse. In her hands she holds a jewel necklace, the present Heartland gave her when she came to the warehouse.

Carefully, Heartland brushes back her red hair and adjusts the little headband she so proudly showed him that afternoon.

“Hey.”

Heartland looks over his shoulder. Half of Roger’s face is obscured by the shadows, creating a mask.

“Hey, what did you do, Heartland?”

_ Nothing,  _ Heartland tries to say, but words escape him.

Like Roger has been reborn, he pushes past Heartland and grabs the girl’s wrist. The body rolls forward as he yanks it off the boxes. It tumbles to the ground with a dull thud; the head bonks against the boxes, creating another  _ thud!  _ that echoes around the warehouse. Even these little sounds make Heartland flinch. He knew his brother assaulted young children, but this …

He killed someone.

“Help me,” Roger says, motioning to a long, wooden box that the body was once lying on. The box looks more like a coffin with its length and depth. The body easily fits inside, with space that they can shove an old blanket inside for good measure. Roger then drags another box over top just to keep it secure.

“What happened?” Heartland asks.

“She was making noise, and there was some squeaky brat outside, and so …” He pulls both hands across his neck, motioning a choking sign. “I just wanted her to be quiet, but then she went and passed out, and then I kept hearing that noise. Guess what that was?”

Heartland ignores the question, eyes still on the coffin. It’s hidden enough that someone wouldn’t just stumble onto the body by walking inside the warehouse, but if someone came in and starting rooting around, or if they smelt something funny … There’d be an investigation. And since Heartland and Roger play here so much, they would be suspects. 

Heartland shoves his hands in his pockets and huffs. “Whatever,” he mutters, and heads back out of the warehouse. It’s later in the day, and the sun has nearly dipped beneath the horizon and burned the sky alive. At his feet, Heartland spots Fate’s cage … only there’s nothing in there. No hamster on its squeaky wheel, no food, nothing.

He glances back into the dark storehouse where Roger stands muttering to himself.

_ Heartland … what did you do? _

_ I made a new condition. _

* * *

“I hate walking you home, you know that?” Roger growls, shoving at Heartland’s shoulder.

“That’s because of what  _ you  _ did,” Heartland says. “If it weren’t for you, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Roger moans and growls, altogether miserable.

Heartland doesn’t understand why. True, the school has implemented a new rule that all children must walk home with a family member, and that no one can be alone. But one, that’s because of what Roger did to the little girl whose body still hasn’t been found. And two, Roger’s lucky he doesn’t have to wait for Mom, and that he and Heartland can head home together. It could have been much, much worse.

“We can’t even go out and play in the fields, damn it.”

There’s a curfew too.

Heartland sighs.  _ This is all your fault, you know that? You’re the one that started it, the one that made all the bad things happen. You’ve been doing this for so long that you thought you were invincible. Well, let me tell you, you aren’t invincible. I’ll end it.  _ Heartland’s eyes narrow.  _ I’ll end it with you. _

“Well,” Heartland says, swaying from side to side in the cool, afternoon breeze. “The teachers said a family member has to accompany us at all times when we’re outside. You’re a family member, so there’s no problem, right?” His eyes glimmer in the waxing sunlight. “Let’s go to the warehouse together. Let me in too or else we’ll get in trouble.”

At first, Roger frowns, and then his mood visibly lifts, eyebrows rising, eyes sparkling. “Sure, let’s go.”

They follow each other through the fields, diving in the tall grass. Though they’re both rather tall boys, the fields are so overgrown that they are sucked into the mass of golden stalks that brush and scratch at their faces. Heartland has ran through these fields so many times that he could do the trip with his eyes closed. When he tries that out, he hears the thunder in his steps, the roar in his heart.

When he opens his eyes, his toes touch solid concrete. The warehouse looms above them like one tall, dark pinnacle with jaws of a monster. Roger goes in first, strutting through the big doors swinging his arms. Heartland follows behind, toying with the tie around his neck. It’s a little tight, isn’t it …

Roger spins around on his heels. “So, what –”

His next words are garbled. Heartland lunges forward, wrapping the necktie tight around Roger’s neck. He holds both ends, crosses them one over the other, and pulls. His brother’s face goes pink at once, and he jerks from side to side to take them to the ground. Heartland doesn’t let go though, pulling the rope tighter and tighter, just like Roger did to the girl. How long did he have to choke her for? Did she resist? Did she try to scream?

_ Don’t worry, girl. I’m not doing it to avenge you. I never cared about you. I’m doing this to fulfil my own desires. _

Roger keeps coughing and coughing, lungs screaming. He tries to gasp for air, but all that comes out are dull, whispery wheezes. Heartland tucks his legs round his brother, pinning him to the ground so that he can’t escape. 

_ I need to make this look like it wasn’t my fault. _

Slowly, Heartland’s eyes come up to the rafters hanging in the warehouse. He and Roger have never climbed up there before since it looked a bit unsteady, but upon further inspection it’s rather safe. If Roger were hanging from there, suspended in midair for anyone who came in to see … 

A smile flickers across his face. By this point, Roger has stopped resisting, though Heartland suspects he might still be alive. He doesn’t bother to check though; it doesn’t matter. Heaving the body up, Heartland drags it across the room and up the stairs to the second floor. Roger’s head and toes bonk-bonk-bonk all the way up the stairs. Heartland brings the body to the edge of one of the rafters. There’s the jump-rope up here in storage – the sparkly one he saw in the girls’ magazine – which just happens to come in handy. The necktie is replaced with the jump-rope, tied just as tight around Roger’s neck.

“Roger that,” Heartland says with a salute.

He toes the body off the ledge with one last smile. 

* * *

_ Roger, middle school boy, found dead in a warehouse alongside the body of missing sixth grader. Police suspect that Roger killed the girl and then committed suicide out of guilt.  _

_ Case closed. _


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last Heartland chapter! next week we will dive into Reira's chapters, and i hope that is a breath of fresh air for everyone <3
> 
> once again (and hopefully for the last time) this chapter has mentions of predatory behaviour, pedophilia, and suicide. please take care of yourself while reading <3

Heartland peers up at the snow sky, one hand raised to block out the sun. All around his body smaller, bouncier bodies file through Heartland Academy’s entryway and into the towering school before him. This used to be Heartland’s elementary school, but since he left for teaching college the school board has renovated the building. For one, it’s taller – the spire at the top is new, encircled by a roundabout hallway that feeds into classrooms both inside and outside of the ring. The building also has a fresh coat of paint, as if it’s put on a new mask.

The steps up to the building are frosty, and Heartland nearly trips on his way up. A small hand lands on his back before he can topple over; his fingers find the handrail, which he uses to steady himself. Then Heartland peeks over his shoulder. There’s a little girl with silver hair, one dollop of it hanging over her forehead as bangs, and the rest of her locks hanging down to her chest. She smiles up brightly at him, still keeping her hand on his back. 

“Careful, mister!” she says. “You could’ve fallen!”

Heartland chuckles. “Sorry, sorry – and thank you for your help!”

The girl narrows her eyes then, her small teeth worrying at her top lip. “You’re the new guy, aren’t you?”

At her words, Heartland tugs at the lapels of his suit and straightens out the creases. “What a bright girl you are,” he says. “I am. I’ll be a student teacher in your class, I believe. You are …” He reaches into his bag to grab out the roll book which contains the photographs of all of his students. However, before he can get his book out, the little girl blurts out her name.

“Grace! Grace, sir!”

Heartland remembers Grace’s picture. He’s even done some background research on her. She’s got an older sister in this school too. Heartland glances around to see if he spots Gloria anywhere, but the sibling is nowhere to be seen. No matter – Heartland knows enough about Grace anyways.

He crouches down to her level and chuckles. “Beat me to it,” he says. “Now, since we’re both in the same class, and I’m rather new here – would you be able to show me to your classroom? I’m afraid that, while this is my old elementary school, I haven’t been here in quite some years. It’s rather different from then too. You’re lucky to go to such a fancy school.”

Grace beams at his words. “Well sure, I’ll show you the way!”

Heartland follows Grace up the rest of the stairs. She takes him into the shoe locker bay, where rows upon rows of small lockers stand for students to put away their winter clothes and change into their indoor shoes. Grace’s locker is at the end. She shoves her flower-printed rain jacket and boots into the bottom compartment, and then yanks out a pair of simple, white penny loafers. They’re the same shoes that he wore when he was in school – Heartland remembers the squeak-squeak of those shoes on the hallway.

“Wanna hear a loud sound?” Grace asks. And then she  _ squeaks  _ her shoes as loudly as she can, giggling through her fingers. “You can only make that sound when the ground is wet enough. Now come on!”

They head up the stairs into the lobby of the school. The hallways and classrooms on this level are familiar. New artwork has been hung on the walls about winter crafts and haikus about the snow and ice. What is new is the large elevator that Grace brings him to. It has two large, metallic doors that slide open. Dozens of students crowd inside, and when the doors close Heartland only has a second to prepare himself before the elevator shoots upwards towards the cosmos. They can’t be going fast or far, but when the doors reopen Heartland stumbles out with a hand pressed to his chest.

Grace comes out laughing at him.

“That scare you, mister?” she teases. “That’s the best part of the morning. Let’s head to class now!”

These hallways are newer. On one side there are large, floor to ceiling windows only broken up by doorways leading into classes on the outside of the ring. The interior walls have crafts and poems pasted to bulletin boards. Even from a distance, Heartland can spot the kindergarten classroom: the door has a big poster on it that reads “How Class 1-B Wants to Celebrate the Winter” and at least twenty students have stuck little cards to the big paper. There are more crafts on a corkboard to the left, many of them snowmen dressed in scarves and hats.

Grace throws open the door to the classroom for him. 

The room is bright, assaulting Heartland’s vision at once. He raises a hand to shield his eyes –

“Mister!” the students call out.

There are exactly twenty-two seats, though most of the children are up and about, or sitting on top of their desks. Chatter buzzes through the room at a steady rhythm that is music to Heartland’s ears. The kindergarteners have already set up the room for the day by getting their schoolwork and pencils out and placing them on their desks. 

Other than the desks, the room has a long chalkboard at the front on which the daily activities are written. The teacher’s desk is in the front corner, and Heartland’s supervisor sits there smiling at him. He’s an older man with drooping eyes and a watery smile that enunciates the deep creases along his face. He beckons Heartland forward.

Now that he’s in the doorway through, the students have all dropped their conversations in favour of staring at him with their wide, innocent eyes.

Heartland waves at them. “Hello, there.”

Grace blusters through the doorway to her seat, and Heartland comes to stand at the front of the desk. He trails his hands along the desk, eyes watching each of the twenty-two children who stare eagerly back at him. At one point, Heartland sat in desks like those too and looked up to his teacher. Now though he’s the teacher, and he takes a deep breath.

When he opens his eyes, he spots Grace. She’s cupped her cherubic face in her hands; underneath her desk, her stockinged legs swing back and forth.

_ There’s an urge I’ve been holding back. _

He finds a piece of chalk along the bottom of the chalkboard and writes his name in large, clear katakana. 

“Mr. Heartland,” he says, brushing the residual dust from his hands. He spins on his heels, eyes back towards the little children all in their desks now. “Good morning, everyone. I’ll be your student teacher this year. It’s very nice to meet you!”

The children clap for him.

And from there, the lesson begins. Heartland follows along with the teacher, at times standing at the front of the class, and at other times sitting in his supervisor’s desk while he watches the older man teach Japanese, Math, and Science to the children. All activities involve a lot of rote memorisation and games, and there are breaks in between when the children go out to play or eat their lunches.

The routine is so familiar to Heartland that it only increases his drive. All throughout class he spots Grace watching him. She twirls her fingers through her long hair, nails blunt from biting them down.

At the end of class, it’s no surprise when she bolts out of her seat to greet him once more. “Mister, mister!” she says. “What do you do when you stop being a teacher?”

Heartland laughs at her wording and settles back against one of the desks. The other children in the room have begun packing up their work and heading out; soon it’ll just be Grace and the two room helpers who have already begun pushing in the desk chairs and cleaning off the blackboard.

“Well,” Heartland admits, “not much. Adult life isn’t very exciting.”

“That’s boring,” Grace tells him. “When I get home, I’m gonna feed my hamster.”

The word hamster evokes such a physical reaction from him that Heartland jumps forward. Grace catches it too, and she realises what he’s meant.

“You like hamsters too?”

“I do,” Heartland says, trying to keep the desire out of his words. “I … had one when I was a kid too, a little white one I named Future.”

Grace laughs. “My hamster is a  _ girl  _ and her name is Joy. She likes grass and seeds and she makes a little squeaky sound when she’s happy. Maybe …” Grace’s smile grows to fill up her entire face. “I can bring the hamster in for Show-And-Tell!”

“That sounds like a great idea, Grace. In fact, I think I might have some seeds your hamster would like. I’ll bring them to school tomorrow for you, and you can feed them to your hamster.”

“Thank you, mister!” She glances up at the clock hanging above the door, and her eyes widen. “Oh no, I have to go walk home with my sister! She’s gonna be  _ so mad  _ I’m late! But – but thank you, mister! See you tomorrow!” Before Heartland can even wave goodbye to her, Grace bolts out of the room and down the hallway. He hears her thunderous steps go past the room and all the way to the elevator, where she quiets down as she waits for the lift.

A burning feeling settles in Heartland’s gut. There’s a little girl in his class who’s interested in him. There’s a little girl in his class who would be so easy to get close to, who …

His fingers itch at his stomach, hypersensitive to every feeling coursing through his body.

The thought springs from his mind though when a hand settles on his shoulder. It belongs to his supervisor, whose smiles betrays his grip. “Enjoying your students?”

Heartland swallows.

“Ah hah, don’t worry about it! You’re like a shiny, new treasure to these kids – of course they’ll take a liking to you! In fact, it’s good if they see your as a trusting adult to help them with their coursework. That little girl you were talking to – she needs some help with Math, and I bet she’d listen to you more than she’d listen to me.”

The conversation dissolves into light banter.

Heartland leans forward on the desk. “I think I could help her out with Math. I have some ideas …”

His supervisor claps him on the back once more. “What a swell guy you are. You must be so happy to be able to return to your elementary school. I already know you’ll fit right in, so just keep doing what you’re doing. Now” – the elderly man waggles his eyebrows – “let’s get some paperwork marked before we head off. Why not come to the pub later with me?”

Laughing, Heartland raises both hands in surprise. “Oh no, I don’t need to come to class tomorrow nursing a hangover. But later this week though, let’s set a date.”

After the paperwork is complete, Heartland is off the hook and free to return home. He gathers his belongings and hurries back down the escalator that threatens to drop him into hell. Fortunately, he makes it to the ground unscathed. Stumbling out of the door, Heartland spots the empty locker bay. He thinks about Grace at that moment and how she led him through these same hallways, eager to show him her classroom and friends.

_ I have her contact information, don’t I? _

He reaches into his briefcase and pulls out the roll book. While all the book has given him is brief contact details about the students, Heartland has dedicated pages of extra details for certain girls. Grace’s page has information about her and her sister, including where they live, what grades they are both in, and what their family is like. Heartland already knows that the parents work outside of the home, and Grace and Gloria spend their afternoons alone until their parents return at 18:00. During that time period, the girls are by themselves.

In the margins of the file, Heartland scribbles ‘likes hamsters.’ This will be helpful for him.

He heads out of the building after that. Snow tumbles down into his green locks and catches on the rims of his new glasses. He brushes away the melting flakes with his hands and peers out at the winter wonderland. If he went straight, he’d go home to his studio apartment. However, to the left is towards the street Grace lives on …

Heartland turns left. 

When he lived in this city, he lived on this side too. The suburbs are closer to the town, but some of the townhouses back onto large lots of open property where the only playthings are grass and dirt. In this frosty weather some of the weeds are pushed down by the weight, but the tallest grasses still stands resolute. 

Grace’s house happens to be not far from where Heartland once lived. She lives in an apartment within a teeny-tiny complex that only has five houses. Her door is the one around the back, and thus her house backs out onto one of the large fields in Heartland City. In fact, it’s the same field Heartland used to play in. He stands at the edge of the road and peers out into the thick fields. He remembers running through the grass, shielded by the thick tendrils that whipped at his face. He and Roger would play hide and seek, or Roger would beat him up and leave him in the grass, or …

Just in the distance, a dark building blots out the otherwise lovely skyscape. 

The warehouse.

Heartland has mixed emotions about that place. He thought the city council tore it down after the investigation, but there’s no doubt that that’s the same place Roger used to lure elementary school girls into. It’s the same place Roger died in too …

A rustle of grass catches his attention, and Heartland dashes away before he’s caught. He hears a chipper voice though bounce through the sky: “You won’t believe this, Yuuya! My teacher’s got a hamster too!”

Grace plays in this field too.

* * *

The next day, Heartland brings Grace sunflower seeds for her hamster. He consider not approaching her so directly, but he only has two weeks at this school. He has two weeks to do something or else he’s failed. 

At the edge of the road, Heartland waits with his bag of seeds. He spots the grass rustle and part, and then Grace steps out. She’s wearing the same raincoat and boots, and her long hair encircles her tiny body. When she spots him she throws up both of her hands and bellows, “MISTER!”

Heartland raises the sunflower seeds up for her. Quickly, she rushes forward and skids to a stop right before him. Her face comes inches away from the little bag, which she peers into with a growing smile.

“For me, right?” she says.

“That’s right.” Heartland claps her on the shoulder, and rather than bounce away Grace leans into his touch. He can hear her humming under her breath; her heart must be bursting with joy. 

Heartland deposits the little bag of seeds into her hand, but he keeps his expression even. Grace catches onto the suspenseful tone and raises her head.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“I have something else I want to give you, Grace. I brought you some cards, but unfortunately I don’t think we can play with them in this snowy weather –”

“That’s OK,” Grace tells him, waving away his concerns with her hands, “we can just go into my house and play.”

Heartland chuckles. “I’m your teacher, so I don’t think I should go into your house. But I do want to play a game with you though …” His eyes roll up to look over the horizon to where the warehouse stands as an inkstain in the sky. “What if we went to play in that warehouse over there? It might not be warm, but it’ll give us some shelter so that the cards don’t get wet.”

Grace’s head bounces back and forth with excitement. She drops the seeds into a pocket of her rain jacket; with her hands empty, she eagerly takes one of Heartland’s. The contact makes him stiffen and melt at the same time, and his teeth dig into his lip. This is the first time he’s ever tried what his brother did … and it’s working. He didn’t think any of the children would trust him, but besides Grace the other students have become interested in him. He’s  _ become interesting  _ through being the new teacher.

_ And at the same time I’ve gotten their guards down. _

This time, it’s Heartland who leads Grace to the warehouse. She skips next to him, tugging his arm down with each movement. Her hair bounces along her back and is swept up by the chilly breeze that makes Heartland nestle further into his jacket. In his pocket, he can feel the duel monsters cards he bought for her. Duel monsters will help with her maths skills, as will counting the sunflower seeds. He’ll look like he’s doing good work while also getting closer and closer to –

A lecherous smile splits his toadish face. 

Grace is  _ his.  _

The warehouse has been fixed up just enough that it’s no longer the same crime scene as before, but the wooden rafters and dusty ground are still familiar sights. There’s now an improved lighting system that would brighten the entire room, but Heartland only turns on one set of lights. Were someone to come in, he wouldn’t want them to see his face.

While he sets up the table, Grace skips around the building. She explores the lower and upper floors. At the top, she peers down at him and calls out his name.

“You ever play in a place like this, mister?” she asks.

Heartland nods sagely. “Come on down, Grace – I have your present.”

Her steps are equally thunderous down to the first floor, where she then charges him and nearly bowls him over. Heartland steadies himself against the wall, and then holds her shoulders so that he can put some space between them. Then, chuckling, he bends down and holds out the three cards for her. They are all basic spell cards: two from the Amazoness deck, and one called Smile World that Heartland just liked the look of. 

Grace’s face lights up at once. She snatches the cards from his hands and squeals in delight, crinkling them between her fingers. “Oh, mister! Oh thank you! Now I’m gonna be cool like all the other kids in my class, aren’t I?”

Heartland nods. “That’s right, Grace. We could play together now, couldn’t we …” He licks his lips.

“With these cards?”

“Sure.”

Grace takes a step towards him –

“Sis! Sis!” Someone bangs on the door. “Hey, open up! I wanna play with you!”

Heartland stiffens. There’s a boy outside of the door, someone Heartland doesn’t ever remember seeing. Who is this kid? It’s not her sister, who normally stays indoors and does homework. Who else does Grace play with? All of his research told him that she’s alone during these hours, so who has come knocking on the door?

“Grace!”

_ Shit! They’re looking for her!  _ Heartland’s heart beats through his chest; like a drum, he can feel his chest caving in. His breaths become weaker and strained. The little girl in front of him … He’ll be caught with her.

Meanwhile, Grace has swung her head around. She laughs out loud, and then turns back to Heartland. “Sorry, mister, but that’s my friend Yuuya. I’ve gotta go play with him – who knows what he needs. But” – she holds out the cards, still grinning – “thanks for these. You’re pretty cool!” She steps back, dusting off her raincoat. “See you tomorrow, mister!”

Grace slips out of his fingers. She heads through the door, leaving it open just enough that, when she’s gone, Heartland can peer through the slit and see what twerp ruined his plans. It’s a little boy, younger than Grace, with spritely red and green hair mussed around his head. He has round cheeks and a little nose, both red from the cold. In his hand he carries a plastic bucket and shovel; the latter he holds like it’s a weapon to protect him. 

The kid’s eyes fall on him.

Heartland swings back around the corner breathing heavily. His heart burns and his head pounds. If an adult had come to find Grace – if her sister had come –

_ My research failed. I cannot anticipate absolutely everything. I shouldn’t be so careless on my first try.  _

_ Carve every failure into your burning heart. Carve every failure so that you’ll  _ succeed.

* * *

Three years later, Heartland is engaged.

She’s a girl named Droite, about as serious as he is comical. Her long, violet hair parts in four places at the front of her face that create long, pointed bangs covering her delicate, pinched features. Her golden eyes sparkle in only the brightest sunlight and her long nose and thin lips stretch out her face. She’s a year older than him, and still in school too as an emerging psychiatric counselor at a hospital in Maiami City. On the very first day they met, Droite told him that she majored in clinical psychology and child development in college.

That was what interested Heartland in her. She had stories about children, about how they learn and grow in all manner of ways. She told him that young children can be rather trusting, which was why in all of her research proposals she took extra ethical considerations with child participants. In the hospital, she worked with elementary-school children with anxiety.

Heartland never gets tired of her stories. She has so many, so rich and full of detail. She’s careful not to give away any identifying information, but she can’t help but want to share what’s important to her, especially if it’s with an elementary school teacher.

Other than that though, she’s boring. Heartland sees her as a brain to his plans, someone who can make what he does seem “normal” because she studies children as much as he does. 

Other than that though, Heartland doesn’t care about her. He puts on a mask as her lovesick fiance, and plays the role of giving into her desires so she’ll give into his.

Most of their conversations begin over dinner. Tonight, Heartland’s brought her to a cheap yakisoba restaurant that could have once been someone’s basement. The environment is sparsely decorated with a couple tables and chairs. The walls have the menu and a few portraits on them that offer just a bit of homeliness. The most fanciful piece of furniture is the TV propped up in the corner through which the reporter on the screen announces the recent news.

Heartland rubs the back of his head and leans back in his seat. “Sorry I’m so cheap with restaurants, sweetie.”

Durbe doesn’t smile much, but she has a twitch in her eye that means the same thing. “It’s fine,” she says. “That’s been bothering you, hasn’t it?”

Again, Heartland laughs. “Teacher pay just isn’t enough sometimes. I wish I could do more for you.”

“Don’t worry about it – I love the places you’ve taken me to.”

In the corner of the room, the TV buzzes:  _ “The Maiami City Police have just announced the arrest of the suspect of the murder of Ayukawa Ayu, age 8, who went missing on the twenty-second of last month, and was later found dead on the first of this month. The suspect is Nico Smiley, an employee at the nearby duel school she’d been attending. According to the police report …” _

Across from him, Droite fiddles with her chopsticks.

Heartland smiles. “I’m glad the suspect was caught. It looks like kids can return to their peaceful lives once again.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Droite stiffen. He makes note of it, but doesn't act upon it. While the TV dissolves into mindless chatter about the weather, Heartland polishes off his meal and pushes his chair back from the table. Though Droite has barely touched her yakisoba, she leaves it on the table. Heartland flicks out his credit card to pay for the bill; Droite lingers behind him, not saying much.

Once he’s paid, Heartland leads her out of the restaurant. This time though he stops her before she drowns in her own thoughts. 

“Hey.” He sets a hand on her shoulder. “What’s up?”

“Nothing.” She brushes off his arm, not raising her head to look at him.

Deep in his throat, Heartland makes a growl that he hopes will rouse her from whatever self-pity she’s feeling. 

“Sorry, I’m just really tired tonight. Why don’t we hang out at my place tomorrow or something?” 

Heartland bites the inside of his cheek. Her words are brushing him aside like he’s dirt on her shoe, and it hurts deep within his heart. However, he can’t show that darkness to her. He laughs to break the silence first, and then slings arms with her. “‘Course, ‘course! I’ll drive you home at the very least then so that you don’t have to walk to the bus station. Besides, it’s so cold tonight.” He shivers against her, only she just buries her face further into the high collar of her trench coat.

“... thanks,” she says at last.

The two of them depart into the wintery, Maiami City weather. Whenever Heartland moves, Droite seems to pull against him. She’s quiet all the way to Heartland’s beat up oldsmobile, the kind of car that looks a couple millennia too old with a long, red body that sits low to the ground. It’s not the suave car businessmen drive, but Heartland prefers older vehicles anyways.

He opens the passenger door for her and Droite climbs inside, tucking her tall body into one of the seats. Her legs stretch out under the dashboard where Heartland has stored his secret stash of candy. He cracks two lollipops open and then motions his head to her.

“No … that’s fine,” Droite says.

Again, Heartland heaves a sigh. “There’s something on your mind, and I can’t help you unless you tell me.”

Droite nods but remains silent.

Heartland pulls the car out of the street-side parking space and begins the trek back to her apartment. She lives in a nicer area of town, a ways out from the cheap restaurants he takes her to. To make the trip last longer, he begins taking side streets. If Droite notices, she doesn’t say anything about it.

She does speak up though. Just a slight cough at first, but it shocks Heartland.

“Hey …” She smacks her thin lips together, teeth tapping. “Where were you on the twenty-second of last month?”

“Ah … what?” Heartland plays naive, even though that date sticks out in his mind like a colourful memory among the otherwise monochrome moments. 

“Last month … on the twenty-second … where were you?”

_ She knows. It’s dangerous for me to stay close to people, especially child development researchers and clinical psychologists. What evidence does she have? The fact that there isn’t much fuel in my car from the trip dropping the body out in the boonies? The fact that there are broken snow chains by her feet? The difference in weather, the candy in my glovebox … _

Heartland glances up.

Just above Droite’s head, flattened by her thin hair, is a spider’s thread that shimmers in the moonlight.

“Hey, answer me.”

* * *

_ Droite, age 26, was found floating in the Maiami River at approximately 01:25. No alcohol or drugs were found in her system. Police suspect she killed herself from the stress of her school life and career.  _

_ Case closed. _

* * *

This time, Heartland stands at the front of the class. He has his hands on either side of the front desk; ahead of him are twenty of his new students. They’re fifth graders at Heartland Academy; the school accepted him right back after hearing that not only was he was a student at this school, but that he also completed a successful supervised practicum here.

Now though, there’s no supervisor to monitor him. Heartland is the teacher of his very own class.

His eyes roll over the new faces. 

_ Akaba Reira. _

_ Tenjouin Yuuri. _

_ Saotome Serena. _

_ Fudou Yuugo. _

_ Kamishiro Yuuto. _

_ Sakaki Yuuya. _

Heartland claps his hands together thrice, and smiles to all the children. “Good morning, everyone! My name is Mr. Heartland and starting today I will be your homeroom teacher. The new semester begins today.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope these chapters are a breath of fresh air (they were for me, at least). introducing Reira's arc! <3

_“Hey you! Yeah, you there! Come join the volleyball team!”_

_There are two girls sitting at a booth decorated with posters of Olympic volleyball players and team shots of previous volleyball teams at Heartland City Secondary School. Behind the booth are the girls, one with pink hair and one with blue hair, and both of them with little barrettes in their bangs. They wave their hands eagerly back and forth once they realized they’ve caught someone’s attention._

_“Hey you, cute girl! Are you a first year? You look like it. Well –”_

_“You should join the volleyball team! If you haven’t joined a club yet, please consider ours!”_

_“Yes, please do! It’s a popular club with many members, so you’ll be sure to make friends. We practice hard and always get into city-wide tournaments that score us big trophies! Our teams always do well in tournaments!”_

_“And you could get fit too! Volleyball is an active sport that uses both your legs and your arms, and it could improve your physical health! Plus there are a bunch of hot seniors this year!”_

_“That’s right! The seniors hold our hands during practice and help us out. We could introduce you to some of them if only you just filled out and signed an application form. How does that sound?”_

_Feet stop, crunching on the dry rocks beneath her feet. Winter has disappeared, and with it the snow and frost and chilly weather. Through his long hair he feels with wind blow back, lacklusterly attempting to sweep him off his feet._

_He looks over his shoulder, eyes narrowed. “Are you stupid?”_

* * *

_You didn’t come to pick me up today, Yuuya._

When Reira comes to class that morning, he doesn’t know what’s happened. The door sliding on its wheels is the loudest sound in the entire room which says something because Reira isn’t late; normally everyone would be out of their seats, but today every single student is at their desk with their head bowed. Reira closes the door, careful not the disrupt the unnerving silence, and takes his seat. To his surprise, Yuuya’s desk is still empty. It was strange enough to not have Yuuya walk her to school, but never before has Yuuya missed class.

Besides, Reira just saw Yuuya. What could have happened to him? Did he fall ill?

Reira slumps forward in his seat.

Heartland stands at the front of the desk, hands folded together. His eyes fall on Reira for just a moment, and they aren’t the same, twinkling eyes Reira remembers. They’re hardened by something stronger than steel, and guarded so tightly that Reira can’t begin to imagine what has happened.

Patiently, he waits.

“Class.” Heartland leans forward, eyes boring into each of them. “I have some sad news for you.”

Reira doesn’t dare lift his head. A sick feeling churns in his stomach. Heartland has never told them ‘daily news,’ which must be this has something to do with them, which means …

“Last night, the car carrying Sakaki Yuuya met an accident. Yuuya is now in a state of coma. He is currently in the critical care unit of the hospital.”

_No._

Behind her, Reira hears someone shout no, someone mutter it, someone slam their fist so hard on the desk it reverberates through the roaring room. The silence has dispersed now, swallowed up by their collective anger. Reira’s head whips around to see the only empty seat in the room. Yuuya has been in class every single day, walked her to school since the middle of February – what happened? How could he get in an accident?

“Everyone,” Heartland says, “Yuuya will return. I strongly believe it.”

Fat tears drip down Reira’s face. He’s not the only one: Yuugo is bawling in his seat, and Yuuto’s unshed tears gather in his thick lashes. Even Yuuri, who Reira hasn’t seen show more than a handful of emotions, has tears leaking out of his pointed eyes. A moan pours from their lips and echoes around the classroom. They all feed into each other’s sorrow; even when Reira lowers his eyes, he can’t help the tears that roll down his cheeks.

“Let us all have hope.”

Reira shakes her head, long bangs whipping her wet cheeks and squeezed eyes.

_No._

She stands, chair clattering back behind her. The sound doesn’t rouse anyone from their misery, but she spots Heartland’s gaze on her. It doesn't matter though. Reira’s hands shake at the edges of his desk. Fretfully, he pulls them back and folds them in the sleeves of his jumper. Then his covered hands fly to his lips where he lets out a choked sob that threatens to bring up his pain from his very soul. The sound scratches up his throat and spews between his lips.

“Yuu –”

Reira dashes out of the room before more words pour out. He keeps his hands over his mouth as he charges through the hallway, taking the stairwell instead of the elevator to avoid running into any other classmates. The tapping of her feet on the stairs echoes all around the tower like a million feet are chasing after her. When Reira reaches the bottom, she pushes past the doors and out into the thick, snowy weather. At once it clumps to her hands and face. She’s come outside in only her clothes and indoor shoes; she shivers from the nipping wind that pinches her cheeks and freezes her tears and snot to her blotted face.

Then Reira screams – just one loud, throat-tearing scream. It’s the kind of scream she hasn’t made since the social worker, Ray, came to help her and her mother. It’s the kind of scream Reira has been holding inside her for all these years. She lets out the pain and worry and hatred she’s been feeling. Then, when the sound is out, she listens for it. The breeze takes it away like a dastardly emotion she should never utter again.

The next sounds that threaten to come out of her lips are stunted sobs that she muffles once more with her shirt sleeves. He half expects to begin vomiting from the strength of the crying; however, all that happens is his body sags forward until his stockinged knees hit the snow. Reira sits in the cold snow that chills his legs and bottom, and lets himself cry as much as he can.

_Yuuya?_ his mind calls out. _What happened? Where did you go after school? You promised – you promised to see us tomorrow! You even said it, I know you did! Your mom had me over for White Day, and I had to go home when you never came back. I was mad at you, I’ll admit – but you … That’s what happened to you?_

His arms hold his quaking shoulders tightly.

_I miss you – I miss you I miss you I miss you_

A thick peacoat lands on her shoulders. It doesn’t feel like Reira’s, and out of the corner of her eye she spots that it’s the wrong colour. It’s warm though. The weight is a comforting pressure. Soon though that weight increases – there’s a hand on her shoulder now, a boy’s hand.

Reira glances up.

Yuuto is staring down at her. She can’t tell what his expression is supposed to mean: he’s neither smiling nor frowning, but there’s something about the way that his lips are twisted together and his eyebrows set over his blank eyes. He keeps his hand there and does nothing else. After a moment, Reira leans into his leg, her cheek connecting with the cordoray of his pants. The material is a bit itchy on her face, but she doesn't have the energy to move.

Now that someone has come to his aide, Reira’s ears are pricked for further signs of movement. He hears more crunchy footsteps in the snow, but no voices. Out of the corner of his eye are Yuugo and Yuuri, both silent. Reira has never seen them standing side by side and _not_ arguing, though neither of them seem focused on each other. Like Yuuto, they don’t say anything either. They hold onto her other shoulder and keep her grounded when her soul threatens to ascend to the astral plane.

It’s Yuuri who speaks up first, voice choked: “First period is free study.”

On March 15, Sakaki Yuuya stopped attending Heartland Academy.

* * *

Reira fiddles with his pencil at his desk, keeping his head low so as to not seem talkative. With class having just ended, everyone is up out of their seats and eagerly planning their afternoons off from school. Around him Reira hears several of his classmates heading to cram classes to study for final tests. The school year is almost over, but Reira couldn’t bother to care about that.

Just behind her is the only empty desk in the classroom. It’s been that way ever since that terrible day Heartland came in and told them Yuuya was injured in a car accident and had fallen into a coma. The desk is the only reminder in the school: every morning, Reira walks past the desk on the way to his seat.

His teeth slip into his lips. Ever since that day, Reira has had to walk to and from school alone. Yuuto has offered to pick her up, but he lives far away; Yuuya lived so close to her, and even closer to the bus stop she got off at. Having Yuuto pick her up just seems pitiful.

Sighing, Reira leans forward on her desk. A melancholic feeling fills her mind like cotton that she can’t pull from her ears. The voices of her classmates melt away to dull rumbles that roll her eyes closed. Reira nearly fall asleep in class until a hand settles on her shoulders.

It’s Yuuto. He stands next to her desk, keeping his hand there until Reira lifts his head and rubs his eyes. Yuuto offers Reira a tired sort of the smile, the kind that doesn’t reach his violet eyes. How Yuuto has been strong through all this is unbelievable. Reira knows Yuuto was involved in the detective game with Yuuya. Yuuto and Yuuya were close in their own way, and so it must be hard on him too to have Yuuya no longer in class. However, if anything is bothering him, he keeps it closed up tight in his heart. Other than that first day when the world split in two, Reira hasn’t seen Yuuto cry again.

But her? She’s cried every night.

“Reira?” Yuuto says. “You there?”

“... yeah,” Reira says after a moment. He shakes his head to move his purple locks out of his eyes.

“I wanted to tell you something about Yuuya.”

Reira swallows. Even the name makes his heart twinge, and his eyes fall back down to the pencil he’d been fiddling with.

Yuuto keeps looking at him. “Yuuya is out of critical care now and has stabilised at the general hospital. It’s in the centre of town, so you can get there from your house or even from school.”

Reira nods.

Then comes the hard part. Yuuto holds his hands together, twiddling his thumbs as if he’s unsure how he can get the words out. He sighs at last, and out of the corner of his eye, Reira sees Yuuto hang his head like a ragdoll. It’s such a surprising action that Reira does turn his head to look back at Yuuto.

“Reira, want to come to the hospital with me? Want to go and see Yuuya?”

She hasn’t seen Yuuya since the accident. When he was in critical care only family could visit him until he stabilised. Without a doubt Yoko had been at the hospital every day with Yuuya, but Reira could never go over. Even though none of this is her fault – not the injury or the hospitalization or anything – she feels guilty. Had she gone with Yuuya to the rink to see Serena, she could have done something. Had she not gone to Yuuya’s house, she could have helped. Had she done anything, maybe she could have prevented such a terrible outcome.

When Reira realises Yuuto is waiting for a response, peeking at her through his bangs, Reira stiffens. “I – um –”

“You don’t have to,” Yuuto says. “While he’s stabilised, he’s not better. You’d need to prepare your heart before you go. I’ve … gone already, and he’s not doing well. I’m sorry, Reira. I shouldn’t be talking so critically about Yuuya when he’s still living –”

“It’s fine,” Reira says in a voice that cuts through the buzzing chatter of the class. “It’s fine. I … want to go. Alone though. Alone, just this once.” His hands fist in his sweater, blunt nails itchy against the cotton fibers. “Please?”

Of course Yuuto agrees. His hand, still on her shoulder, tightens for a brief moment. Then he releases it; Reira misses the pressure at once. Yuuto gives a soft laugh just as the chatter picks up again, a sound that Reira strains his ears to hear. Yuuto has always been a rather enigmatic friend. Of Yuuya’s three friends, Yuuto is the only person Reira can’t get a read on. Yuugo and Yuuri are open books, but Yuuto is more like a doctorate thesis on a topic Reira hasn’t even _heard_ of. Even if Yuuto tries to be open, he’s a mystery.

“Thank you, Reira,” Yuuto says. He makes a fist with his hand and, carefully, taps it to hers. It’s like a handshake, only with one step and a bit anticlimactic. When Reira looks up at him though, his smile has grown wider. “Have hope.”

Unconsciously, Reira’s own hand moulds into a fist. She watches the digits close tightly into a ball, the tips of her fingers protected from harm. The words appear on the tip of her tongue: “Have hope.” It’s a phrase she learnt from Hope, her very first friend. She hasn’t seen much of Hope lately … she hasn’t seen much of anyone.

“Have hope,” Reira repeats. He stands up on shaky legs and gathers his books to put in his backpack. Yuuto steps back to give him space, and so Reira tells him, “I’ll head there now. Do … you know which room Yuuya is in?”

“112.” Yuuto hikes his backpack up on his shoulder and shoves his hands in his pockets. His eyes give her a one-over before he says, “I’m heading home now, but let me know how it goes tomorrow. Take care, Reira, and say hi to Yuuya and Yoko-san for me.”

“Will do.” With the last of his books packed, Reira heads out of the classroom. There are still students dawdling in the hallways, so Reira takes the stairs all the way down to the bottom of Heartland Academy. The staircases stretch and spiral like a great snake leading into the underbelly of the Academy, even though she’s just going to the ground floor. When Reira reaches the bottom though, and after changing into her outdoor shoes, she slips out into the wide world.

It’s springtime. The warmer weather hasn’t quite appeared yet, but the snow has been replaced by small sprigs of green grass and the pop of colour in bushes and trees. The blue sky and white clouds hang overhead where Reira spots the great, gleaming sun shining a bit of warmth on the world. Even though the weather has changed, Reira still wears his scarf. He follows the main path into the city centre; not a few minutes into the trip Reira spots many other students from his class and school also heading into the city.

_Where are you going to?_ Reira wants to ask. _Are you going to see family? Friends? You’re lucky you have both of those. I have …_

Reira shakes his head. He has family. He has friends. Yuuya made sure he kept those things.

Though Reira has never been to the hospital before, he knows the way to one of the largest buildings in all of the city. The hospital looks like aliens once dropped it down into the city because of its grandeur: it spans two blocks and is bordered by road on all sides. From there, it then stretches and scrapes at the blue firmament. Windows mark each room; some are decorated with stick-on decals that Reira once saw in Yuuya’s house.

The steps up to the building are tall enough – too tall, in fact, as if they were made for adult legs. Reira tugs his jacket around his body and hunches forward, appearing even smaller. When he steps through the doors, the lobby swallows him whole: it’s _thrice_ the size of Heartland Academy’s lobby. The hospital is filled up with reception desks and help desks and all manner of other desks along the walls. There are also shops and cafes, and waiting areas decorated with green plants and red flowers.

Reira sniffles into his sleeve as he glances around for the elevator.

Then, carefully, he steps forward. Steps again, and again, and again, through the semi-crowded halls towards the elevator up to the next floor. Yuuya is only on the next floor, but the elevator ride still takes far too long. When she reaches the correct floor, Reira stumbles out into a new hallway with a little waiting area. Again, there are red and green plants, but beyond those are paths spanning in both directions and blocked off by doors.

Up on the wall is a sign: “Rooms 104-150 to the left; rooms 151-199 to the right.”

Reira turns left. Through the doorway that surprisingly isn’t locked is another lounge area, and beyond that are the rooms. She’s entered into a ward, Reira realises. The decorations have changed to more vibrant colours – red and blues and greens stamped onto the walls. There are paintings and pictures of the natural beauty of Heartland City. Though Reira spots Yuuya’s door, a picture catches her eye. It’s right across from his room, so were Yuuya or Yoko awake they’d be able to see it.

It’s a aerial picture of Heartland from above the great mountain behind Heartland Academy. Yuuya and Reira have both taken each other up to the tip of the hill during winter; this picture illustrates what that same view might look like in the summer. The city is a verdant green dappled by the blue of the river and the grey of the buildings. Heartland City is naturally green though: even in the city centre there are patches of green representing parks or nature reserves.

_You never got to spend a summer with me, Yuuya. We … never got to go camping._

Sniffling, Reira rubs at her teary eyes. She takes a deep, albeit shaky, breath, and then turns to face Yuuya’s door. It’s closed. There’s a little tag on it that says ‘Sakaki Yuuya’ in bubbly, handwritten kanji. There’s even a picture of Yuuya on the door – just one. It’s a shot of him at the birthday party – him and Reira and Yuuto and Yuugo and Yuuri.

Reira places a hand on the door. Over her fingers are the red gloves Yuuya gave her, the same gloves in the photograph.

_Knock. Knock._

From the other side, Reira hears a woman’s voice – Yoko’s voice. “Come in.”

Reira opens the door.

Yuuya’s room isn’t very big, about the size of a bedroom; tucked in the corner is the bathroom. His bed sits in the middle of the room: a large, metallic stretcher with the rails pushed up. The sheets are a soft, creamy white that are pulled up all the way to …

Yuuya.

It’s hard to see that there even is a _person_ there because of the amount of wires and tubes coming out of the bundle in the middle of the stretcher. But he’s there for sure. He’s hooked up to every machine under the sun and moon. His head is wrapped up in gauze; the rest of his face is obscured by an oxygen mask that puffs every few seconds. There are tubes on his chest and in his arms; some are attached to great, hunking machines placed by the bed, and others are IVs attached to liquids hanging from an IV pole.

Sitting at Yuuya’s feet is Yoko. Her once-shiny blonde hair has grown limp and hangs over her tired, listless eyes. Her skin looks dry, her lips cracked and puffy in places. She blinks several times, as if trying to discern if Reira is in fact here, before she attempts a weak, wavering smile.

“Reira,” she says, voice cracking on the syllables, “you came.” A shaky hand comes up to brush her hair from her eyes. Slowly, she lifts herself up a bit more. Her body seems smaller, like she hasn’t been eating well. She probably hasn’t. “Thank you,” she says.

Reira looks from Yuuya to Yoko, lips wobbling. All she can see and feel is sadness. All she sees is pain – deep, heart-wrenching pain. Yuuya and Yoko must be trapped in this place, in those dark, crushing feelings.

A bit of sunlight creeps through the window and onto the bed.

Reira forces a smile, lifting his head and chin. _I will smile for you, Yuuya._

“Hi, Yoko. I wanted to see you and Yuuya after so long.”

Yoko’s expression lifts just a bit more. “We changed rooms yesterday, so …” She clears her throat with a soft cough. “This is much better than that broom-closet from before – and we were sharing it with another patient, mind you. This though … it’s much quieter, much more peaceful. You can even see the river from here, if you look out the window.”

She beckons Reira close. Reira follows her to the window, where they both gaze out at the city below. Yoko is right though: the river crosses through this part of the city, its waters travelling down towards the ocean on the far coast. Reira has never been far enough down the river, but if she were to walk along the banks she would inevitably reach the hideout.

“I’m glad that, when Yuuya wakes up, he’ll be able to see the river again.”

Yuuya’s name makes her flinch. She looks behind her to the unmoving body in the bed. From this angle Reira can see his face a bit more. Yoko has pushed his bangs to the side so that his closed eyes can someday open. He looks surprisingly peaceful, like he’s just sleeping through the day.

Yoko’s hand rests on her shoulder, drawing Reira against Yoko’s bosom. “He’s in a coma, Reira, and the doctors aren’t sure when he’ll wake up. They’re doing everything they can for him. He’s quite comfortable, and I’m certain he’s in no pain, but …” Her voice tapers off like a dusty record.

Carefully, Reira leads Yoko back to Yuuya’s bed. The strong woman before her is still strong in places, but she’s hurt too. With her gloves still on, Reira reaches out and touches Yuuya’s cheek. He’s warm under her touch; he really does feel like he’s sleeping. He doesn’t move though, and the buzzes and hisses of the machines tell her that they’re responsible for keeping him awake, alive …

“Have hope.”

“Hm?” Yoko says.

“Have hope,” Reira repeats, voice clear. “Yuuya and I learnt that from a very special friend named Hope. He’d tell us that we should believe in ourselves and each other.”

Yoko nods. “The doctors said that though he might not respond to anything we do, that our voices are powerful. You can talk to him, Reira, if you’d like.”

Reira glances back at the comatose body. It’s impossible that Yuuya will wake up to her words – she doesn’t believe in fairy tales like that – but still the thought of reaching out to Yuuya with her words sparks a glimmer of hope. Thus, Reira trails her hand down to Yuuya’s own hands which are folded together on his chest. She holds his small, warm hand with her own mittened one, and she begins to talk to him.

“Yuuya, today in school Mr. Heartland told us about an upcoming field trip to Academia. You mentioned this one night about how you always wanted to go to Duel Academia, that great big school on the island. Hr. Heartland says we’ll go stargazing and hiking, and one night we’ll sleep out under those same stars. It’ll be a bit like camping then, though maybe Yuuto, Yuugo, Yuuri, and I will still go out into the woods one day.

“Mr. Heartland brought a picture for us to see – it’s beautiful. I really wish you could come … but …” Her teeth gnaw at her lip for a moment, but she continues: “But that just means I’ll have to tell you all about it when I get back. And if you don’t wake up before then, then that just means we’ll need to go some other time.”

Her fingers tighten around Yuuya’s limp hands.

“We’ll go to Duel Academia together. We’ll go see the real thing someday, just like you told me.”

Yoko leans into her, hugging her from behind. Were it anyone else, Reira might have stiffened. But Yoko is her mother, and Yuuya is her friend, and the sun in this room creates such a lovely glow that all Reira feels is love.

“Oh and we finally cleaned up the hideout.” She peeks up and behind her bangs to see Yoko chuckling. “Not going to lie, Yuuya, but your hideout was a mess. We cleaned out all the old wrappers and magazines. Rin is _so_ organised and helped us make space for all the books and games you’ve brought there. Yuuto and Yuuri put their money together too to pay for some photos that we decorated the place with. I think you’d laugh if you saw the pictures those boys chose.”

And the one-way conversation continues. When his legs get tired Reira sits up on the side of the bed, still holding on to Yuuya’s hand. At times Yoko begins to jump in, telling stories about Yuuya’s early childhood when he used to play in tall fields of grass with a girl named Grace Tyler.

“We should put some more pictures up around here,” Yoko says to that. “I have some from when he was a baby, Reira, and I bet he’d be _so_ embarrassed if he knew you’d seen them.”

Reira laughs. “Sure.”

Time doesn’t seem to pass in the room until the sunlight disappears and Reira realises that the final train will leave soon. Quickly, he hops off the bed, aware that he shouldn't be rushing the visit but also aware that he can’t miss the final train. Yoko seems to realise too though: she gives Reira one last, squeezing hug that, when they break away, still leaves a feeling of warmth through Reira’s chest.

At the doorway, Reira raises his hand. He fiddles with the buttons on his petticoat, mouth mushed into the thick fabric of his scarf. Yoko has returned to Yuuya’s bedside, though she’s a bit more upright and alive.

“Can I come back tomorrow?” Reira asks.

“Of course,” Yoko says. “I’m so happy you’re here, Reira. I bet Yuuya is too.”

Reira bows in thanks, makes sure to give one last smile – one last surge of hope – and then heads out the door.

The moment he is in the lobby, his smile gives way to a frown, which gives way to tears, which gives way to great, heaving sobs that shake him to his very soul. Reira slaps her hands over her mouth to muffle her cries and dashes down the hallways. She finds the stairs instead of the elevator, too ashamed of her sadness to want anyone else to witness it. Through her tears she can barely see where she’s going, but she makes it to the main floor and then out onto the dark, starlit streets of Heartland City.

Behind her, the hospital glows brightly.

With her hands over her wet face, Reira walks back down the streets. Her body knows the route back to the train station even if her eyes are too puffy to see through.

_Yuuya._

She muffles a sob into her sleeves.

_Yuuya, there’s a popular belief that if you believe as hard as you can, if you believe with all your might, then your wish will come true. I want to believe in this same wish too … I want to believe in you. I want my words to be true. So Yuuya, please._

_Please, someday, wake up._


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> technically it's still Tuesday in my time zone, but sorry for the late-ish update ^^;;

True to his word, Reira comes back the next day. This time, the building doesn’t seem so large and opposing. The hallways and the ride up the elevator don’t make his mind spin, and when he reaches Yuuya’s door he doesn’t bother to knock. Reira knows he is welcome here.

This afternoon the sun has poured in through the open window, making Yuuya and Yoko’s faces shine in the sunlight. However, that’s not the only difference. Yoko is upright, standing by Yuuya’s side; she has her hand braced against his body. She’s turned him to his side too; Yuuya is facing her, his masked face pointing towards her with his eyes gently closed. With her other hand Yoko reaches across and wipes a towel along his face and neck.

She looks up when the door opens. “Reira, good to see you,” she greets. Though the tiredness and despair are still there, she looks a bit more alive.

Reira raises a hand. “Good afternoon, ma’am –”

“Don’t be so formal with me,” Yoko teases. “Come help me, why don’t you? I’m just bathing Yuuya –”

Reira’s face goes as red as a tomato. That’s the other difference: the blankets have been pulled down to Yuuya’s waist, pooled at his belly button; out the bottom stick Yuuya’s twig-like legs. Even after only being in the hospital for a month, he’s lost weight too. However, he could look far worse: his skin appears clean and unmarred, probably from Yoko’s intensive care.

Reira comes to stand on the other side of Yoko. Yoko drops a cloth into her hand, and then says, “I’ve washes his face and neck, but could you wipe down his chest? It’s a bit hard to do while also making sure he doesn’t roll over.”

“S-sure,” Reira says. Yoko catches the stumble with a raise of her eyebrow, but she doesn’t say anything more.

Carefully, in a circular motions, Reira rubs the cloth over Yuuya’ pale, milky skin. It’s a surprise he wasn't hurt from the car crash: Reira learnt from Yuuto that the car had slipped into the ocean and that Yuuya was underwater for a while before he was found and rescued. 

However, Reira doesn’t let those thoughts cloud his mind. Rhythmically, he wipes down Yuuya’s chest. He focuses on how Yuuya’s body responds to the touch in its own way: the rise of his chest from the medical ventilator, the pulse under his skin from his blood moving through his veins. Though Yuuya hasn’t woken up, he’s still alive. Reira knows it. He can feel Yuuya’s life like the steady flow of the river.

When Yuuya’s chest is cleaned, Reira moves on to his legs, cleaning around his knobby knees and between his long, monkey-like toes.

“With those toes he used to scale the counters in our house,” Yoko says. “He was always climbing, always in movement. He used to sit on the top of the fridge and say to me, ‘Mama, I’m gonna be an entertainer someday!’ It was quite the surprise then when he also told me he wanted to become a mangaka.” She smiles, a hint of sadness in her tone. “He had big dreams, didn’t he?”

“He does,” Reira says. She sniffles behind a raised hand, and then passes the cloth back to Yoko. “Why don’t I fold some of the laundry while you clean the rest of him?”

Yoko laughs. “You’ve done more than enough, Reira. Don’t you have homework? You’re in sixth grade now, aren’t you?”

She is. Yuuya fell into a coma just weeks before the switch to sixth grade, which wasn’t all that eventful since Heartland still remained their teacher. They switched classrooms to the other end of the hallway, though they sit in the same desks – with Yuuya’s empty desk remaining – and have the same decorations on the walls. Class time has been the same.

Yoko smiles at her. “You’ll graduate this year.”

She will.

Cupping her face with a hand, Yoko says, “Yuuto has come by, but the other two boys haven’t. I bet they must feel conflicted about what’s happened, as I’m sure you feel the same way too. I wonder though … could you invite them over sometime? I bet Yuuya would want to see them too. Even if he’s not awake, I think he still knows when his friends are nearby.”

Reira’s eyes linger to the boy lying on his side. His condition hasn’t improved since they stabilised him. Perhaps she’s being too pushy, but … 

For Yoko, Reira will do anything.

For Yuuya, Reira will do anything.

“Sure, ma’am.”

Yoko tousles her hair, tugging Reira into a side-arm hug that still offers just as much warmth. “Let’s have another party, Reira. Yuuya loved parties so much, so he’d want all of his friends to celebrate with him. Let’s make sure he knows that we are all together, all having fun.”

Reira nods, struggling to hold back the tears in her eyes. “Let’s.”

* * *

“Are those  _ barrettes  _ in your hair, Yuugo?”

“Yes, they are!” 

Yuugo huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. He’s dressed up today in a crisp, white dress shirt and black slacks that ghost across his clean indoor shoes. On the right side of his chest is a small, white rose tucked into the breast pocket. Yuugo keeps fiddling with it anxiously, much to the disturbance of Yuuri who stands right next to him.

But that’s not what Yuuri – or anyone else for that matter – sees. No, Yuugo’s banana-blond bangs are pinned back by three barrettes coloured red, blue, and green. They’re sparkly too and fastened to the hair that keeps it out of his narrowed eyes.

“What about them?” Yuugo says.

Yuuri, also dressed in a white dress shirt and slacks, chuckles. He sports a loose cardigan over his white shirt; his sleeves are pushed back, making the outfit appear a bit more casual. “I’m just  _ saying,”  _ Yuuri says, “that I wonder just  _ where  _ you got such lovely barrettes from? In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say those are the same clips Rin wears –”

“You bet they’re hers!” Yuugo shouts. “What’s in your hair, Yuuri? Gel?”

Yuuri’s cheeks grow hotly red. “Wha –”

_ “Enough,”  _ Yuuto says to both of them. Dressed in the same dress shirt and pant combo, what makes Yuuto’s outfit different is the maroon sweater vest that draws the baggy shirt closer to his torso. He brushes back his purple bangs behind one ear and crosses his arms. “Honestly, you two, it doesn’t matter what you did to your hair. It’s not even like we needed to get dressed up if this is just the classroom celebration.”

Reira nods. He stands to the side of Yuuto, shadowed a bit by the boy’s presence. Reira wears something different though – a black and white striped dress, not too bold or brazen, with a high collar cinched tight to his neck. The sleeves are long and extend to his wrists, and are fastened there by pearl beads. It’s a dress his grandmother bought him for special occasions. Reira’s own hair is tied up in a bun and held together by two ornamental chopsticks also with pearls on them.

She brushes her dangling hair from her eyes just as Yuuto steps back.

“What are you doing there, Reira? You won’t be able to see over my shoulder.”

She nods and comes to stand in front of him.

Today is graduation day. There will be a ceremony next week for their families to attend, but this is just the classroom celebration. Nonetheless, it’s quite the event: the room is decorated with handmade banners and pictures. Through the lights they’ve strung streamers made of red and green muslin, colours that they all suggested the celebration of the spring weather. 

Colours that remind Reira and everyone of Yuuya.

His desk is still empty, the second from the back row, right in front of Yuuto’s seat. Serena still sits next to him; never once has she put her books on his desk.

Serena …

She stands a bit off from the crowd, eyes downcast. Her hair is fastened by a thick, red bow that lets her ponytailed hair cascade down her back. She also wears a dress – a red dress too, with long sleeves and a tight collar. What makes her outfit stand out is the lace around the bottom of the dress. Reira has never seen Serena wear lace before.

Serena’s eyes fall on her and for a moment Reira sees surprise in her eyes. Then Serena’s guards go right back up and she returns her gaze to the ground.

Ever since that day, Serena hasn’t spoken to Reira. Reira can’t blame her; there must be something else going on in Serena’s mind. Reira hasn’t had the time to approach her either, too busy studying or visiting Yuuya and Yoko in the hospital. 

She’s roused from her thoughts by the sound of  _ clap, clap, clap  _ that echoes like a gong through the classroom. Everyone quiets down and faces Mr. Heartland. He’s cleaned himself up too with a crisp, yellow suit that radiates sunshine and positivity. A green tie is cinched under his clean shaven, albeit stretchy, face. His toad-eyes bug out of his same, eclectic pair of glasses. On the table in front of him sits a tall, yellow top-hat with a great, green bow on it.

_ Yuuya, if only you could see our silly teacher now.  _

“Everyone!” Heartland says, holding his hands together. “I have something I want to say to you. I’m not sure how eloquent I’ll be, but I hope you listen well.”

He clears his throat loudly.

“It’s graduation day! Congratulations on completing six successful years of schooling! There have been times of happiness and sadness; moments of success and failure. You all tried your very best. I know you did. It makes me proud to see you all before me, ready to move forward with your youthful lives.”

He pauses for a breath, smiling stretching across his face. “Today is your graduation, and yet …” His voice drops; his smile disappears.

“It feels like something is missing today. You seem to feel it too … so do I. Maybe this because of something that has happened … to someone who is missing today. I want you to listen to me though. I want you to know that ‘someone’ – maybe the someone that is missing, maybe someone else – will fill the hole in your heart. That is how life is. We fill up the holes in each other’s hearts.

“Today, I want you to think about who got you here. I want you to thank those someones in your life that have filled you up, so that you can move forward with your lives spreading the same gratitude. I think that is how the world will live on.”

The sun disappears from the sky.

Once Heartland is done the festivities begin. Several classmates have brought board games; other brought snacks, plates of fruit and vegetables and finger sandwiches that are eagerly snatched up. Even in the remaining light the classroom buzzes with energy as everyone begins talking. Next to her, Yuugo begins chatting up to Yuuto and Yuuri about plans for middle school.

“We’re all going to the same place, right?”

“Well, we all go to the same elementary school,” Yuuri deadpans, “so it would make sense we went to the same middle school too.”

“Yeah, but Akaba gets bussed here. Hey, Akaba!” Yuugo grabs her attention with his loud voice. “You going to Heartland Secondary?”

Reira pauses, and then nods. “I … don’t want to go to school in Academia.”

Yuuto raises an eyebrow. “You’ll still bus all the way to Heartland City?”

Again, Reira nods. Deep in her heart, she thinks about what it would mean to leave everyone here, leave Heartland City … leave Yuuya. She can’t leave any of that behind, especially not now. Her friends matter more to her than ever before.

“I’ll be fine,” she tells him. “My home is here anyways.”

They leave her to her thoughts. Yuugo brings up how he’s certain he aced a class, to which Yuuri  _ and  _ Yuuto both remind him that he’s lucky Rin has helped him study for his tests. The three of them get lost in their own thoughts, chatting about classes and summer and everything else that Reira’s mind can’t think of.

Their voices begin to blend in the ceaseless chatter of the classroom. Reira winces with each word, feeling her heart rise up to her throat. Everyone is so  _ loud  _ sometimes.

With a sigh, she heads out of the classroom and out to the hallway. She doesn’t take the elevator anymore unless she’s rushing to class, so she descends down the spiraling staircase to the locker bay. She wouldn't dare dirty her indoor shoes, so she switches into her rain boots and gathers up her peacoat, scarf, and gloves. Dressed for the weather, she then steps out into the snowy wonderland.

The sight that greets her is a breath of fresh, clean air. The courtyard is covered in snow, some of it brushed to the side and used for snow sculptures or to make walls for snowball fights. To one side Reira sees the skating rink that she remembers Yuuya skating on. He almost won a race for her … but he had such a soft heart back then that he let Ryouga win instead.

Just beyond the skating rink is a playground. It’s mainly for the little kids, though from time to time Yuugo and Yuuya had climbed to the top of it. In this snowy weather though, it’s too slippery to climb on the tires stacked up like a tower, or on the wooden structure with its plastic slide. No, Reira just leans back against the side of the tires and folds her mittened hands together.

He’s not cold.

Heartland’s powerful words echo in Reira’s mind:  _ Someone will fill the hole in your heart. _

Reira lifts his head up to the snow tumbling from the heavens. It lands on his nose and mouth, melting upon contact.

_ Yuuya, since that first day … since then, you’ve filled up the hole in my heart. _

_ You’re my hero, Yuuya. _

* * *

“Join the judo club!”

“Join the art club!”

“Join the literature club!”

Reira slips through the thick crowds of junior high students crowded around booths all lined up and down the main pathway to the school. The location of the booths has made it impossible to avoid them; thus, Reira moves as quickly as he can through the crowds, head bowed. He’s been targeted by tennis club already, and as he wanders a member from the photography club approaches him with their big camera hanging from a lanyard around their neck.

When a group of three girls step in front of him, Reira ducks even lower and weaves through his future classmates’ bodies. It keeps him hidden from the student clubs picking out unfamiliar faces from the crowds. 

_ There sure are a lot of them,  _ Reira think to herself. In elementary school there were only a handful of clubs, and none of them were mandatory or nearly as organised as Heartland Secondary. Here, some of these clubs seem more like apprenticeships into the worlds of art or sport. 

However, none of them sound appealing to Reira. 

_ I don’t have time to join a club,  _ Reira tells himself.  _ I need to take care of Yuuya and Yoko. _

Thankfully, once Reira slips through the school doors, he can breathe a sigh of relief. Sure, there are still throngs of students meandering through the hallways, but at least no one will pay her a second chance. Reira glances from left to right to spot the path to the shoe lockers. With her registration she received a number for the locker bay. It comes in handy too – the lockey bay is at least thrice the size of Heartland Academy’s. It’s a long, endless room of three-foot, blocky metal lockers all lined up in organised rows. Reira’s locker happens to be right by the doorway, and at the bottom of the column. When school ends, she’ll need to crouch beneath other students to get her outdoor shoes.

Once Reira has changed into his indoor shoes, he heads out through another door that ends up leading to a long hallway. There are room numbers hanging over each of the dozens of doors in this wing. On the walls are bulletin boards where club forms have been tacked onto, as well as other notices for upcoming school events.

Reira turns on his head and searches for the next floor. His homeroom must be upstairs … only upstairs refers to at least three floors up, and down several snaking hallways that leave Reira’s mind dizzy. Hopefully come assembly time he’ll be able to figure out just  _ how  _ to get back to the ground floor. While Heartland Academy did have a tower for the senior classes, Heartland Secondary is just about an all around giant of a building. 

Thankfully, just after the next turn Reira spots the sign hanging from the door: 1-A. How 1-A is all the way up here is a mystery, but …

Reira opens the door.

At a first glance, Reira sees no familiar faces. Everyone seems to have grown up to adulthood; they’re taller and more developed in their school uniforms. Most of the students are out of their seats and talking in small groups, and when Reira opens the door everyone’s attention briefly turns to him. Then they all return to their studies.

Except one.

Yuuto.

Reira feels a smile tug at her lips when she spots Yuuto. He was Yuuya’s closest friend, and she feels lucky to be in the same homeroom as him. 

Yuuto beckons Reira over to his desk. Like the others, Yuuto has filled out his school uniform well. He’s swiped his violet bangs behind his ear, and the more upright pieces are gelled back to blend in with his black hair. His posture relaxes a bit when Reira sits down.

“I'm glad you’re in my homeroom, Reira.”

The simple words make Reira’s heart swell. “Me … too.”

Continuing, Yuuto tells Reira, “I’ve already heard from Yuuri that he and Yuugo are in homeroom together. God help whoever their teacher is.” Yuuto chuckles despite himself, and it sounds more genuine than any laugh Reira has tried this year. “The godsend though is that Rin is there. I thought she might go to school elsewhere, but it turns out that she wanted to go to school with all of us.”

Reira nods. He likes Rin. When Rin came to see Yuuya, she brought a huge bouquet of wildflowers that she’d picked by the riverside. She said that his room didn’t look pretty enough, and that she’d read in a book somewhere that patients recover faster if they’re around greenery. If Rin is in school with her, she might be the glue that keeps Yuugo and Yuuri together.

There’s another girl though. Reira worries at her lip before mumbling, “What about … Saotome?”

Yuuto raises an eyebrow, and then smiles. “You care a bit about her, don’t you?”

“We didn’t ever make up …”

“Well, I don’t think she tried very hard. But oh well.” Yuuto shrugs. “She’s not in our class or in the others’, so she must be in 1-C. Maybe … she’s trying to move on. It sucks that she’s not going to apologise or anything, but we ourselves can’t dwell on that.”

Reira nods in agreement, though his heart still twinges. Serena is still by herself. All throughout sixth grade Reira remembers those longing glances across the room. Serena has been watching them for a while now. Reira still thinks that Serena might have wanted to apologise, might have wanted to be their friend.

When the teacher enters the classroom, the thrum of the day begins. The first day of school passes in a blur up until Reira hears the chime of the bell and the subsequent sound of forty or so students pushing back their chairs all at once. Reira gathers her books up and shoves them into her backpack.

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Yuuto watching her. 

“You in a hurry, Reira?”

“Yeah,” she says. When Yuuto keeps his gaze on her, Reira ducks her head. “I’m going to the hospital today. To see Yuuya and Yoko.”

There’s a hum and a hah before Yuuto answers her: “I see.”

He leaves Reira with that. 

Books gathered, Reira hustles out of the room and down the stairs. Though he hasn’t quite memorised the layout of Heartland Secondary yet, Reira follows the crowds down the stairs and into the shoe locker area. She squeezes between fellow students and crouches down to her locker to swap her simple indoor flats for her scuffed tennis shoes. Though it’s a mild, April day, Reira still loops her red scarf around her neck. In her pocket she carries the knitted red gloves that Yuuya made her.

Once he’s ready, Reira slips out of the crowds and dashes through the doorway. The courtyard has been cleaned up; no longer are there tables and booths for the various clubs. There are plenty of students though, and so Reira runs through the grass and across the courtyard to the road. Whereas Heartland Academy was outside of the city centre, Heartland Secondary is just a skip and a hop to the major road. Before Reira knows it, his feet are slapping the linoleum of the hospital. 

Unlike his new school, these hallways are familiar. Reira doesn’t bother to wait for the elevator; he's too excited. He hurries up the stairs and then left towards Yuuya’s room. At the doorway, he stops and lets an easy smile flitter over his face. There are now dozens of pictures on the door. Some of them feature Yuuya, such as baby photos or pictures of everyone at the surprise birthday party. However, other photos have been taped up: graduation photos of everyone, cheesy photos of the gang at the hideout, and even panoramas of the beautiful river they’ve known as a beacon of hope and belonging.

Reira pushes open the door.

Inside, Yoko holds a washing bin filled with water and a damp cloth. She runs it along Yuuya’s jawline. She looks up from her task when the door opens though, and eagerly she cheers, “Reira! Your uniform!” Quickly she sets down the basin and cloth and comes to embrace her. “You look beautiful!”

“Thank you,” Reira says. She squeezes Yoko tightly, and then glances over to where Yuuya is sleeping. He looks about the same as yesterday: tired, thin, and with most of his body covered in tubes, wires, and bandages. Hanging just to the side of his bed is his school uniform; Yoko bought it for him in case he woke up for junior high.

Yoko taps her chin, appearing deep in thought. “Reira, do clubs start yet?”

“No …” Reira says.

Yoko brightens. “Well I’m glad you’re not missing club. Even back when I was in junior high I was on sports teams and everything. Of course, I never finished high school, but …” She laughs. “What are you interested in, Reira?”

Reira’s teeth sink into his lip. “Well …” he begins. He swallows the pit in his throat and attempts a smile, one that quivers at the corners of his mouth. “Nothing, actually –”

“How come?” Yoko’s words slice through her mumbling.

“I want to be here for Yuuya.” Stepping closer, Reira sets a hand on the bedsheets. The machines attached to Yuuya’s comatose body huff and puff. They’re keeping his body alive, though there’s no guarantee that Yuuya will ever awaken. Reira has been in the room with the doctors when they’ve told Yoko that Yuuya has made no progress.

However, Reira won’t give up. He’s been coming to the hospital every day since that first time, helping Yoko with the laundry or with bathing. Sometimes Reira comes and there isn’t anything for him to do. During those times, Reira sits at the edge of Yuuya’s bed and holds his hand. Reira tells Yuuya stories about school, about his friends and his teacher. Reira brings books to read to Yuuya about magicians and wizards, about magnificent entertainers like Yuuya always wanted to be.

Reira’s fingers find Yuuya’s. 

“I want to stay here,” she mumbles. “That’s more important than anything else.”

Yoko’s feet scuffle on the floor. She comes to stand next to Reira, placing her hand over Reira’s hand. 

“You’re very kind, Reira.”


	41. Chapter 41

Yuuto’s holding her hand, dragging her through the hallways even though most of the students stay in their classrooms for lunch. Reira lets herself be taken away though, eyes focused on Yuuto’s broad back. He’s grown even taller now, surpassing even Yuugo. 

“Where are we going again?” Reira asks.

It’s a moment before Yuuto responds, long enough for Reira to quirk an eyebrow in confusion. They’ve travelled down the hallway to room 1-B, which appears to be a rowdier classroom with a lot more sprite and spunk to it. When they round the corner and peek into the room, at once Reira spots students pushing their desks together. The sound of twenty desks moving all at once makes her head throb in pain.

Yuuto speaks up over the noise: “Rin called a group meeting in here.”

That doesn’t answer why it’s in the classroom, but Reira doesn’t say more. 

Across the room, Rin, Yuugo, and Yuuri have pushed their desks together to make a small cluster. A fourth desk has been added too, and in it sits Serena. Her hair is tied up with a yellow bow that appears sharp at the edges. Equally pointy are her eyes that target Reira. She stares, lips pressed together. Around her, Rin, Yuugo, and Yuuri seems unaware of the interaction.

Yuuto gives Reira a push into the room. “Come on, let’s go sit with them.”

Reira stumbles into the room. Most of the students in this room she doesn’t know, and she cringes under everyone’s brief glances. When she makes it to the others, she sits down in one of the two available chairs and melts under their gazes. Though Rin is kind, she is also serious and headstrong: she sits in her desk with her hands primly folded before her, and there is such determination in her soul that it leaks out in her pursed lips and hardened eyes.

Yuuto takes a seat beside her, bumping shoulders with Reira. 

Rin doesn’t spare a moment: she claps her hands together to gather their attention. “All right, everyone. Thank you for coming –”

“Did we even have a choice?” Yuuri mutters.

Rin glares at him and continues. “I wanted all of us to come together because I think we need to do something for Yuuya. He’s been our friend and helped us, and I think we need to return the favour. I think we should make something for him and Yoko, something that when he wakes up he’ll be able to treasure –”

“Let’s make him a bike!” Yuugo says.

“He’s gonna come out of a  _ coma,”  _ Yuuri says. “How the hell is he going to ride a bike?”

“We should make him something that we can all work on together,” Yuuto suggests. “I bet if we all put our heads together we could figure something out.”

Reira nods but does not speak up. In his mind, there is nothing they can say, do, or make to repay Yuuya for everything he’s done for them. Yuuya saved him from his house. Yuuya created the detective game to make sure Rin and Serena weren’t alone. Yuuya kept them all together; Yuuya took care of all of them. No matter what Reira does, he’ll never been able to show his gratitude to Yuuya.

The thought counts, but …

Meanwhile, Yuugo and Yuuri have begun to argue again about whose idea is better. Across the table, Rin’s face turns beet-red as she berates them for bickering when they need to be working together. Yuuto even looks a bit hassled by this whole ordeal.

And Serena … she sits with her arms crossed in front of her chest, lips white from tension. She looks ready to explode at any moment.

Sure enough, she does: “You’re all stupid,” she mutters.

Rin whips her head around. “That kind of attitude won’t get us anywhere.”

“Yeah,” Yuuri says. “How come you’re even here, Saotome? Who invited  _ you?” _

“I did,” Yuuto says. “But Rin’s right – we shouldn’t be bickering about whose idea is better. We should –”

“Shut up.” Serena leans forward, holding her head up with one hand. Her eyes droop at the edges, as if she’s lazily present for this drama. “You think it’s great and all to make a little craft for your friend, but don’t you know how expensive it is to be at the hospital? Sakaki’s mother must be paying ridiculous fees for her son to have his own private room. That shit ain’t cheap.” She clears her throat. “If you really want to help her, be practical and help her pay the hospital fees.”

Serena’s words have shut them down. For a moment, no one speaks up. They all seem to be processing what has been said with careful, deliberate expressions. 

“So …” Yuuto says. “Fundraising?”

Serena nods. “Long-term hospitalisation – which is what Sakaki is in because he won’t be waking up from that coma anytime soon – requires a lot of specific,  _ expensive  _ medical equipment too. If you fundraised, you might be able to ease the burden. After all, I don’t think Sakaki’s mother is working.”

Anytime Reira has visited the hospital, Yoko has always been there. She must go home sometime during the night because Reira has never seen pyjamas or blankets in the room, or a toothbrush in the bathroom. However, every possible waking hour Yoko is with Yuuya. 

In realising this, Serena’s suggestion makes the most sense. They can’t pay back Yuuya for all he’s done, but they can offer their support to Yoko. They can help Yuuya recover.

Rin taps her chin with one finger, lips curling in a smile. “You said ‘you’ … are you not going to help us, Saotome?”

Serena shrinks down into her seat, shoulders drooping.

“I think you should,” Yuugo says. “It’s your idea –”

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Serena snaps. She crosses her arms more tightly, looking more like she’s hugging herself. 

“I agree,” Yuuto says. “Didn’t you used to help quite a bit with the lunch program, Saotome? You're good at community work. I really think you could help us pay for Yuuya’s hospital bills.”

Serena looks up, and her eyes bore into Reira’s. The two of them stare for a moment, neither unsure what to say or do. Then Reira tries a smile – a small one, like she once tried in the stairwell when she apologised to Serena.

“Fine.” Serena huffs loudly, loosening her posture. “I’ll help you.”

“How  _ generous  _ of you,” Yuuri says, voice like slippery poison. Serena rolls her eyes, but says no more. 

“But” – Serena holds up her finger and then points it down, right at the middle of Reira’s face – “you can’t help us, Akaba.”

“How come?” Rin says. Her voice comes out as a growl.

“Because you already have enough to do with Sakaki. I know you’re at that hospital every damn day, sitting at his bedside. You’re taking care of him in other ways, and maybe it’s doing some good …” She coughs into her hard. “You’re better off with him than fundraising with us. Let us do the work.”

Serena’s words have the power to silence them all. Once more she crosses her arms and leans back in her desk. This time though, there’s the telltale cockiness of her smirk. It’s an expression Reira hasn’t seen on Serena’s face for years. Serena used to be such a confident – almost  _ too  _ confident – girl. She looks a bit more like that old girl now …

Reira lets himself smile. “Thank you, Saotome –”

“Serena. Just … call me Serena.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Reira doesn’t miss the smirk Yuuto covers with his fist. He muffles it as a slight clearing of his throat, and then he gathers their attention by tapping his hands on the desk. “Everyone, I think this is a great idea. We’ll need the permission of the school board if we fundraise on campus, but I bet we could also go door-to-door around the city. We could ask some shops if they’ll support Yuuya – he was popular enough in the community.”

“Yeah!” Yuugo says. “And we should ask Mr. Heartland for help too! I bet he could get some support from our old elementary school too. He really liked Yuuya!”

Rin nods in agreement. “I’ll ask my old elementary school if they can donate anything too. Any little bit of money will help Yuuya and Yoko.” She tucks her short hair behind her ears and grins at Serena. “Thanks, Serena.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Reira leans forward in his seat. “Um,” he begins, “I’ll … tell Yoko about this. I’ll go to the hospital and tell her that we’re going to help her pay the bills.”

The lunch bells rings at the end of her words. Quickly, Reira helps the others push the desks back into their correct positions. Then her and Yuuto dash out of the room; over her shoulder, Reira spots Serena running to the end of the hallway where her classroom is. 

The rest of the day hurries back. Reira is eager to tell Yoko the news: she skips down the hallway and then to the lockers to change into her outdoor shoes. Outside, it’s become too warm to even wear her scarf, so Reira ties it to the handle of her backpack and lets it blow in the afternoon breeze. The scarf looks like a tail behind her, gracefully dancing in the wind. 

The run up to the hospital room doesn't even make her lose her breath anymore. In fact, the trip feels short; Reira’s been here so often that she’s certain she could find her way to Yuuya’s room with her eyes closed. However, Reira won’t ever close his eyes: he’ll see and see and see the wonderful world that Yuuya has given him.

Reira throws open the door with a cheery, “Hello.”

Today, there is music in the room. It’s a song that both Yuuma and Yuuya have showed her: the theme song to the anime Odd-Eyes Magician. It’s a loud, catchy tune with a strong guitar solo that makes Reira want to get up and fight crime for the greater good of the world. One time, Yuuya put the headphones over Reira’s ears and let him listen to the entire album. Though that was only one time, Reira still remembers the tunes.

“You know the song?” Yoko says. “It’s from Yuuya’s favourite anime. I thought he might want to hear it – ever since he got that record, he played it non-stop while studying.”

Reira chuckles. Then she steps further into the room, settling across the bed. Yuuya looks the same: pale and thin. His translucent skin stretches across his cheek bones that dig into the mask around his mouth and nose. Though he’s no longer physically injured, there are bandages on his neck and arms from the many tubes attached to his organs. 

“Yoko,” Reira says, “is it … expensive to be here?”

Yoko laughs outright, startling Reira. “Why is that on your mind?”

“Saotome … I mean, Serena, told us that it costs a lot of money to have a private room here, and to rent all the equipment that Yuuya needs.”

Yoko sobers, drawing her expression together until her skin is as ashen as Yuuya’s. She’s no longer laughing. “Well, I guess it is a bit of money to be here … not that that matters, of course. This is what Yuuya needs to get better, and I can get loans so that I can pay the hospital what they need. Durbe has been helping me a bit too.” 

She doesn't look convinced by her words though. Reira swallows before venturing again.

“Yoko, we’re gonna fundraise for Yuuya’s hospital bills. We’re going to all the schools and businesses in Heartland City, and maybe even door-to-door. We’re only kids though, so we can’t do much … but we can do something to try and repay everything that Yuuya has done for us.”

Yoko raises her head a bit. Now that she’s looking forward, Reira spots unshed tears – small water-crystals that glimmer under the rims of Yoko’s tired, green eyes. When Yoko blinks, they miraculously don’t fall on her cheeks. “You’re a good kid, Reira –”

“I’m staying here though.”

Yoko raises an eyebrow.

“It’s the others – Yuuto, Yuugo, Yuuri, Rin, and Serena. They’re going to fundraise. I wanted to, but I also want to be at the hospital with you and Yuuya.” A smile flits across his face. “I’m going to help you in my own way … Mom.”

Now Yoko’s eyebrows are raised far past her bangs and into her hairline, and her mouth has parted in a small, dainty ‘o’. Her expression then crumbles, face growing pink, eyes creasing at the corners. She still looks young, but in that moment there’s a maternal instinct that just makes Reira want to embrace her. She’s never had a mother like that before, but if there were ever a woman who looked like the mother in Reira’s dream, it would be Sakaki Yoko. 

With the sunlight streaming through the open window, catching in the golden threads of Yoko’s hair, she says, “Thank you, Reira.” 

There are still tears in her shimmering eyes.


	42. Chapter 42

During a break between classes, when everyone is switching textbooks and adjusting their minds from a heavy literature class to a social sciences class, Reira feels something poke into her arm. She stiffens at the immediate touch and glances at the source. Yuuto has poked a pencil into her shoulder, and he smiles abashedly when she narrows her eyes.

“Hey, Reira.” He sets his pencil down on his desk. “Are you going to the hospital today?”

“I always do,” Reira answers, voice even. “You haven’t been going much either … or helping fundraise.”

Yuuto rubs the back of his head, eyes downcast. Reira doesn’t mean to judge – it’s more of an observation than anything else. When school ends, Reira goes straight to the hospital. Yuugo, Yuuri, Serena, and Rin stay after hours and ask for donations from students. Sometimes only half of their fund-raising group remain on campus and the others head around town asking for money from local and corporate businesses. However, Reira hasn’t seen Yuuto at the hospital or helping fundraise.

“Sorry,” Yuuto says. “I’ve been going to cram school actually. I think … I’ll go today though.”

Reira smiles. “I bet Yuuya will be so happy to know you’ve come to see him.”

“Yeah,” Yuuto answers, but his voice sounds eons away, and he still hasn’t met her gaze. His teeth worry at his bottom lip. “Reira, you must know that Yuuya isn’t doing well. He’s lost a lot of weight. He’s also stopped growing. He’s even smaller than Yuuri now. We’re all growing, all getting older … and Yuuya’s still eleven years old.”

Though Yuuto must not mean it, Reira feels a bubble of anger in his gut. Yuuya is doing  _ perfectly fine  _ he wants to say, but it’s a lie. Yuuya’s declining health has been less noticeable to him only because he’s been at the hospital every single day. The last time Yuugo and Rin came by, after having not seen Yuuya for a month, they immediately noticed his lack of weight. 

And it’s true. Yuuya’s cheeks have become hollow sockets as deep as the ones around his eyes. His skin has taken on a waxy, yellowish hue that seems too close to death for Reira’s comfort levels. And what Yuuto said about his height is correct – Yuuya is smaller than all of them now even if they ignore his weight loss. His body is a thin, flimsy shell.

_ He might not ever be able to climb or run again,  _ Reira thinks.

“Reira.” Yuuto catches her attention. “Why don’t we both go to see Yuuya today? You go first though.”

With those words, it becomes near-impossible to make it through the rest of the day. The minutes drag on and on until at last the bell rings with a  _ bing-bong  _ noise that gets Reira leaping to his feet. He throws his books haphazardly into his backpack and swings it over his shoulder. He’s the first one of the classroom and one of the first students down the hallway – the only person who happens to have beat him is  _ Yuugo  _ who runs at the speed of light to the stairwell.

Reira takes the stairwell too, heart pumping. He hurries to put on his shoes before the locker bay becomes a raucous mess of student bodies trying to get out asap and head home or to cram school. Thankfully, sprinting out of the classroom has afforded Reira the luxury of not having to squeeze around anyone else. 

Stepping through the front doors, Reira lets the sun warm his face. What Yuuto has said nags on his mind, but those thoughts won’t ruin the good mood Reira will be in at the hospital. For Yuuya and Yoko, Reira needs to smile.

His feet move on autopilot from there, taking him through the wide sidewalks of the city centre and to the hospital. Now that Reira has grown taller, the front steps don’t seem quite so gigantic. The stairs up to the room don’t feel so painful either. In fact, the only bizarre feeling is how  _ quiet  _ the hallway is. Yoko must not be playing music.

At the doorway, Reira stops and takes a deep breath. Her eyes search the door for the photos of her and Yuuya and their friends, only …

There are no pictures.

Reira feels her heart thud painfully in her chest. Her hand shoots out and fumbles with the slippery doorknob. Turning it, Reira falls into the room –

Empty. The bed, the chairs, the room – it’s all empty. The sheets have been tucked up to the pillow at the head of the bed. The chairs, once positioned on either side of the stretcher, have been pushed back along the wall and underneath the window. There are no pictures or flowers or decorations or  _ anything  _ in this room that was once Yuuya’s. How … come?

“Yuuya? Mom?”

Reira glances around, throat constricting. She chokes out a few sounds the more she searches for anything, anyone, that might be able to tell her what is  _ wrong – _

“Akaba.”

Reira spins around. She knows that voice, knows that solemn face with slicked back purple-and-black hair.

Yuuto. He stands in doorway, one hand in his uniform pants’ pocket. His other hand hangs at his side, fingers pinching the corner of a small, white envelope. Reira’s eyes focus on the envelope, but she still addresses Yuuto.

“You knew, didn’t you?”

“Yes.” Yuuto steps into the room but does not close the door. “This morning, Yuuya was transferred to Maiami Hospital for long-term hospitalisation.”

Reira feels tears bubble in his eyes. He turns around and faces the window; outside, the sun still shines on the glimmering river snaking from the top corner of the window through to the bottom opposing corner. He won’t let Yuuto see him crying.

“Where?” Reira asks.

“Maiami City, in the Standard Dimension.”

Reira knows exactly where that is. Where his grandmother’s house is, in Academia, is north of Heartland City. Maiami City lies to the east. It’s a bigger city, and therefore it would have more hospital care should Yuuya need to remain in long-term care. However, that isn’t what has Reira’s heart wrung tighter than a noose. No, it’s that  _ no one  _ told Reira that Yuuya would be transferred. This wasn’t a decision made overnight. Yoko must have been planning to move Yuuya.

Yuuto knew too.

Paper crinkles. It creates such a racket that Reira feels the hairs on the back of his neck rise. He glances over his shoulder. Yuuto has extended his hand holding the card; on it, Reira can see hastily-scrawled kanji that reads ‘Akaba Reira’.

“Yoko wanted me to give this to you,” Yuuto explains. 

Reira snatches the paper from Yuuto’s hands and presses it to her chest, crushing the paper between her quaking hands. Hundreds of feelings run through her mind – confusion, fear, anxiety, paranoia, anger, hurt –

“Yoko knew … you were going to feel bad –”

“I KNOW!” Reira snaps. Her own voice startles her so much that she steps back, hair falling into her face. Her shoulders quake and her knees buckle together. Reira stumbles backwards once more, only this time her foot catches on something – the air maybe? – and she falls to the ground. Unfortunately, the letter is too important for her to care about catching herself, so her hips crash on the linoleum and send shooting pain along her tailbone. Reira winces; the tears in her eyes begin to tumble down her wet, burning cheeks.

“W-what happened?” Reira asks. She claps a hand to her mouth as a sob tears up her throat. “W-why?”

It hurts to see Yuuto shrug his shoulders. He looks helpless, albeit impassive. How can he … How can he stand there and think this is a solution?

“I need to go to cram school now,” Yuuto says. “You should read that letter.”

Reira shakes her head. She can’t believe this – she  _ won’t  _ believe this.

Yuuto’s swallowing is audible even over her crying. “See you tomorrow, Akaba. You’re … the best friend Yuuya ever had.”

With her hands smushed into her weeping eyes, Reira doesn’t see Yuuto walk out of the room. She hears him though, even when his steps recede down the hallway and stop at the elevator. Once those sounds are gone though, all that remains are Reira’s moans and cries. She stifles them, shoving her cupped hands over her mouth. On shaky legs Reira stands.

The letter falls to the ground.

Reira snatches it back up and holds it to her chest. She can’t read it here though. Here is … here is empty. Here is lonely.

Here Reira is all alone.

He sprints out of the hospital room and down the staircase. This time when he heads out of the doors he runs as fast as he can through the city centre. Even when people turn and stare, Reira keeps on running. He passes the cram school Rin still goes too, though she now heads there less often because of the fundraising campaign. Reira passes the convenience store, and the sidestreets into the suburbs.

He runs right through the front gates of Heartland Academy. However, instead of running into his elementary school Reira heads around the side of the building and to the back field. During this season the grass is a verdant green that travels even up the mountainside. With tears blotting her vision, Reira lifts her head to try and see the top of the mountain. A long, long time ago, he and Yuuya went up there. There was a time before that too, a time when the night sky was alight with a billion stars in the flimsy tree branches. Even from his low vantage point, Reira sees that same wispy tree.

Reira steps forward.

The ascent doesn’t feel as hard on his legs, perhaps because of all the times he’s run up the stairs to Yuuya’s hospital room. There is neither wind nor rain nor snow – just sunshine, the kind that warms the back of his neck and makes his head dizzy. Twice Reira stumbles on solid ground, and he throws one arm out to catch himself; the other arm holds the letter close to his chest.

At the top of the mountain, past the green grass and shrubbery growing at the high altitude, stands the tree. It has leaves on it – small, oval-shaped leaves that have a faint shine to them. There are hundreds of them in the tops of the tree; the lower branches though are bare. The bark is a soft white, unmarked.

Reira falls forward into the tree, pressing his free hand to the smooth bark. The wind ghosts against the back of his head. 

Reira pushes the letter against the tree and rips it open. Inside there is one, single-sided piece of paper. Yoko has handwritten her something in the same scrawl as on the envelope. 

_ Reira, _

_ I’m sorry that I suddenly disappeared. I bet you wish I told you why I was leaving. I bet you wish I didn’t keep such a secret from you. It must have hurt to find this out. I’m sorry. But I think it was necessary. Yuuya and I needed to take this next step. We’re going to Maiami Hospital now. It’s far away from Heartland City – too far to take a train to, unlike Academia which only takes an hour. The hospital there has newer, fancier technology that will help Yuuya. Hopefully he’ll do better there. _

_ But that’s not the reason we left. _

_ Reira, you were the light that illuminated my dark heart. You have been with me and Yuuya through our ups and downs. Right from when I first met you, I knew you were someone special to my son. He cared about you just as much as you cared about him. I am full of gratitude for everything you have done for our family. _

_ You have a path. It’s time you took a step forward with courage, just like I have heard Yuuya tell you before. Please, Reira, cherish your “present.” Cherish your treasured life. _

_ I hope you have a bright future. _

_ Thank you for taking care of Yuuya. Thank you for saving my heart. _

_ I’m sure we’ll meet again someday. _

_ With love, Mom.  _

Reira’s forehead clunks against the tree trunk. She takes a deep, steadying breath that feels like knives on her abused throat. His eyes, his nose, his throat – everything feels raw. The wind has picked away at his red skin, leaving him feeling carved open.

“I’m really thankful,” Reira whispers, lips pressed into the bark.

_ I’m really thankful, Yuuya, for the life you gave to me. You and your mom made me laugh every day. You took care of me when no one else wanted to. You were my first friend, and because of you I have friends today. Because of you, I am free, I am safe, I am healthy. _

_ I am no longer alone because of you. I hope you have a bright future, Yuuya. It’s time you took care too. _

_ Someday, Yuuya, I’ll see you again. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so here ends Reira's POV chapters. on Friday we'll see Yuuto's POV. let me know how i'm doing with "timing" - that is, can you tell when these chapters are supposed to take place? can you tell what chapters are before the accident, during elementary school, during middle school, etc.? let me know if something is confusing to you and i'll try my best to explain it (and make sure not to make the same mistake in future chapters).
> 
> cheers, everyone! <3


	43. Chapter 43

_ _

_ Once upon a time, I had these treasures. They were two things that didn’t really mean anything materially. In fact, I don’t even know what they were supposed to be. My father gave them to me, saying that I should exercise my brain more. They were … nails. Two nails, bent around each other in this strange formation that  _ somehow  _ was supposed to come undone. My father told me that my friends and I should try to figure out how to take apart the nails. _

_ It sounded stupid at first.  _

Yuuto flips the nails back and forth in his hands, violet eyes focused on the treasures. They aren’t the kinds of toys anyone else plays with at school. Hell, even though Yuuto is in fifth grade he knows that they aren’t allowed to bring bent nails into the school. So Yuuto thinks of sticking them in the bottom of his backpack and continuing on with his day. What stops him though is the boy across from him – a boy with dark blue hair and a whip of turquoise right over his poised, delicate brows. He’s taller than any other fifth grader in all of Heartland City, but thankfully he goes to Neo Domino.

Yuuto raises his hand. “Hey, Shun.”

Shun looks up. He has a permanent frown on his face, like he’s always sucking on a lemon or has had his teeth punched in. However, when Shun speaks there’s a note of happiness in his words: “Hey.”

Yuuto tosses the treasures in his hands back and forth. Then he slips one into his pocket; the other one he holds between his thumb and forefinger, clinking the metal nails together. Just as Shun’s eyes slide down to the treasures, Yuuto tosses them up in the air. With one hand, and dashing forward like a falcon, Shun snatches them out of the air and holds them tight in his fist.

“What are these?” he asks.

“My treasures,” Yuuto says, struggling to keep the note of haughtiness out of his tone. “I already have one though. That one is for you.”

Shun pockets it without a word. He keeps his hands in his pockets and his expression neutral. Behind him the sun has begun to set in a rainbow of pinks and reds. It’s past class time, which happens to be the only time Yuuto can hang out with Shun. His parents have told him he should be doing better things than playing in the fields, but Yuuto likes this freedom. He likes flying kites or paper airplanes with Shun. He likes running through the fields.

Yuuto is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t realise what’s happened until  _ someone  _ tackles him to the ground. He and Shun roll across the field grunting, until it’s Yuuto who ends up on top with his legs braced around Shun’s waist. Quickly Yuuto pushes his hands down on Shun’s broad shoulders while his legs tighten around Shun’s hips. He’s effectively pinned him.

Beneath him, Shun glowers. “Got lucky,” he says.

“Don’t just tackle me then,” Yuuto says. He lets go of Shun’s shoulders, but doesn’t let him go free: no, just as Shun has relaxed, Yuuto punches him across the shoulder. It’s just one punch, and not meant to hurt or anything. Shun even laughs at him, pushing at Yuuto’s own shoulders to get him off. When Yuuto is off him, Shun rubs at the side of his leg. 

“Your nails were poking me,” he mutters.

Yuuto laughs. “Softie.” Then he runs through the grass, feet slapping the soft dirt. He avoids the mud because he can’t come home with wet feet, but he ignores the way the tall grasses sprinkle his shirt with pollen and dust. All that matters is getting further, running faster. Behind him, Shun’s steps are as light as a sparrow’s. Yuuto doesn’t even hear him until he feels Shun grab the back of his shirt. This time though they don’t tumble through the grass; Shun just runs ahead of him.

At the end of the day, Yuuto has to go home because it’s dark, and Shun has to go home because his dad will come looking for him if he's even a minute late. Yuuto isn’t sure how to say goodbye to anyone, especially since he’ll see Shun tomorrow. Thankfully, Shun’s way of saying goodbye  _ or  _ thank-you involves a light shoulder-punch, so Yuuto feels his left-side lean back with the force.

“See ya,” Shun says.

“See ya,” Yuuto says.

He watches Shun’s retreating form from the one clearing in the grass – the place they always meet at after classes. In the retreating sunlight, Shun’s body creates a long shadow that eats up part of the world. Yuuto is much smaller than Shun; his shadow just stretches to the edge of the clearing. However, within his own shadow Yuuto seems something glimmering. There’s a treasure in the dirt that’s caught in the sunset.

Yuuto hurries over and bends down before the treasure. It’s semi-hidden by the soft dirt, and so Yuuto has to dig it up. It looks like someone stomped it into the ground –

Oh.

It’s  _ his  _ treasure.

Semi-buried in the dirt are the connected nails. They haven’t been taken apart – hell, they don’t even look touched! Yuuto scoops them up with his shaking hands and holds them to his heart. He glances up. Shun and his shadow are gone, swallowed up by the approaching darkness. Yuuto’s vision grows blurry after that. Hastily, he scrubs at his face with a dirty hand. He’s made a mess of himself, he knows it. His mother might say something; his father certainly will.

_ Maybe he accidentally dropped it,  _ Yuuto reasons. Sure, the nails were  _ buried  _ in the dirt by a foot, but perhaps Shun didn’t mean to. Maybe he stepped on it, and he’s lucky the sharp edges of the nails didn’t go through his shoe and into his foot. It’s the solution Yuuto wants to believe in, even if it sounds a bit far-fetched.

Before it gets too dark, Yuuto picks himself up and dusts the dirt and pollen from his clothes. He runs back across the field, through the remainder of the park, and towards his elementary school. His neighbourhood is somewhere in the north-west of Heartland City. It’s known as the nicest area of town, but it’s easier to know that by looking.

Around him, the streets have wide, paved sidewalks bordered with hedges about chest-height on him. The hedges have blue flowers on them – small bulbs that, when the sun is out, look like miniature roses. Just behind the hedges are great, towering lamp posts that light up the entire area. The houses in this area are of the rich, mansion-type. Yuuto lives in a  _ house,  _ not an apartment complex; his house is the size of some of his classmates’ apartment buildings. The houses here also have backyards and front yards, though Yuuto rarely plays in his.

His house is in the middle of the rich suburb, a house with two floors that take up all of Yuuto’s vision. On the bottom floor and attached to the house is the garage where his father’s car is parked. It’s a jetblack car that Yuuto hasn’t ever sat in before. When his father goes to work at his law firm, he takes that car. When Yuuto, his sister, and his mother go out, they have to walk or take the train.

The second floor of the house is where the bedrooms are. Yuuto’s bedroom is the furthest on the left; it overlooks the street, but were he up in his room, he would also be able to see the river. Where he and Shun play is just a hop and a skip away from the river, though neither of them have ever had the desire to play somewhere where every other group of friends plays. Only the two of them play together.

There are stone steps that lead up to his front door. His mother has hung a wreath across the door, decorated with green ivies and delicate purple flowers. Along their porch are potted plants also with purple flowers. His mother … likes to garden. Perhaps it’s because she’s a housewife and she doesn’t have much else to do.

Yuuto opens the door. 

The first person to greet him is his sister, a runt of a girl with dark hair. There are two little sections of her hair that are purple, and today she’s tucked them back with a thick, colourful headband. Her eyes sparkle with rubies.

“Big brother!” she says, embracing him with her thin arms that still  _ squeeze  _ him with all her tiny might.

“Ruri,” Yuuto says. He gives her a short hug, not that long because he doesn’t want to poke her with the nails in his pocket. However, he must have done something of that sort because she suddenly breaks free and glances down at his leg.

“What’s in your pocket?” she asks. She reaches out a hand and pokes it with her finger. “A toy?”

“I … guess,” Yuuto says. He yanks it out and holds it for her. The nails are still connected together, though when his father gave it to him Yuuto figured out within minutes how to separate them. He hoped that Shun would try it out. While Shun is a quick thinker, his thoughts are concrete; Yuuto was certain this toy would give Shun hell, and then Yuuto would have to swoop in and help him.

Ruri, unfortunately, doesn't get frustrated when she can’t figure something out. Even though she’s only in preschool, she is comfortable asking for help. It’s unnerving too because she asks for it honestly. Yuuto doesn’t even want to give Ruri the toy because he knows she won’t struggle with it.

Shun though … he hadn’t even tried the toy. He’d just buried it in the ground and hoped Yuuto would never find out.

“What do you do with it?” Ruri asks, leaning her face in close to the nails.  Her pink irises fit in the corners of her eyes as she tries to figure out what he’s holding.

Yuuto closes his fist around it and shoves it back in his pocket. “Nothing.”

* * *

The following day, Yuuto waits at the edge of the clearing. The nails are still in his pocket, clinking against each other like a pitiful windchime. If he held them out they might make a better noise – the wind today is steady and rustles the violet strands of Yuuto’s dynamic hair. However, Yuuto doesn’t care about the nails or the wind or anything that isn’t his friend who is  _ late _ . Shun is never late. Yuuto has been late once before, when he was on cleaning duty and he took too long mopping the floor.

Shun punched him in the shoulder for that one.

Unconsciously, Yuuto raises a hand to that same shoulder. He glances behind him to see if Shun is trying to sneak up on him, but Shun isn’t someone stealthy. Shun exists, not loudly, but not in hiding. 

Right at Yuuto’s toes is the other treasure. It’s still lying on the ground, nails pointed downwards so that the points don’t go into someone’s foot. Yuuto almost wishes he’d turns the nails upwards just so that someone might bother to pick up the treasure. Sure, it’s just two broken nails … but it was a gift. It was a gift from a  _ friend,  _ and Shun buried that all in the dirt.

Sighing, Yuuto kneels down by the nails in the ground. He picks them up with his thumb and forefinger, holding them away from his body like they’re contaminated. The nails are still together, untouched, connected –

Yuuto screams as he throws them into the field. He watches them sail through the sky, a twinkle  in the unblemished blue and white, before they tumble somewhere into the tall grass. Yuuto shoves his hands back in his pockets and picks up his own treasure. He turns around and, with another cry, launches the nails in the opposite direction. This time he can’t watch the nails – the tears in his eyes have gathered at the rims, unable to spill. Yuuto wipes them dry with the backs of his hands, but soon there are more tears that drip down his cheeks.

_ I’m stupid. _


	44. Chapter 44

“Yuuto, come down for breakfast please!”

Yuuto scrunches his eyes closed before he dares crack them open. He sits himself up and stretches his arms high above his head. Without even needing to look at the mirror he adjusts his bangs that angle across his face. The rest of his hair remains spiked at the back of his head. Blearily, he scoots to the edge of the bed and sets his feet down on the cold hardwood floor. Prickles of ice shoot up his legs, forcing him to lift his legs back up and look for his socks that he kicked off during the night.

When he’s found his socks, then he can stumble out of his bed and down the stairs. The hallway to his bedroom is dark, with the only light coming from the stairwell. With his hand on the wall, Yuuto makes his way to the stairs and carefully comes down them.

He enters into the living room; directly to his side is the kitchen. They have a kitchen table, but in the morning Yuuto sits at the bar. From that vantage point he can look at the food on the counters or the fridge across kitchen. Tall, white cupboards with glass doors reveal dozens of plates, bowls, and glasses. There are cupboards by the ground too; these ones have solid doors, but inside Yuuto knows there are pots and pans for cooking.

Standing at the counter is his mother. She’s a short woman with dark hair loosely tied up in a bun. She never wears makeup; her eyes have bags underneath them and her nose is pimpled. She never wears nice clothes either – whereas Yuuto has only ever seen his father in a crisp, luxurious business suit, his mother wears loose jeans and baggy t-shirts that she purchases from second-hand stores. 

“Good morning, sweetie,” his mother says. She reaches across the table to rustle his hair; Yuuto lets her, though he doesn't smile.

“Morning, brother!” Ruri chirps.

Ruri won’t ever need to wear makeup. She has clean, unblemished skin that is only ever rosy on the apples of her cheeks. Her long, dark lashes sweep across her high cheekbones with each deliberate, excited blink. She has plump lips that pucker into a brazen smile. No matter what Ruri is doing, she’s smiling.

“Morning,” Yuuto says. 

His mother sets several dishes before him: rice, miso soup, natto, and grilled green beans. Yuuto mumbles a thank-you to her and picks up his chopsticks. Next to him, Ruri has already begun to devour her food. Somehow she doesn't look barbaric when she eats, though she can eat twice as much as him and twice as quickly too. 

“We’ll have dinner late today,” his mother says. She begins to pack up the rest of the food using cellophane wrap. “Your father is staying late at the office but has asked us to wait for him. When you come home, we’ll have a snack and then wait for him to return.” She glances up. “Yuuto, don’t you have a test today?”

Yuuto takes a deep sip of his soup. “Yes,” he says. “I studied.”

His mother smiles. “Do your best.”

“Do your best!” Ruri echoes. “Next year I’m gonna go to school too.”

“That’s right,” their mother answers. “For one year you’ll both be in Heartland Academy, and then Yuuto will go on to Heartland Secondary. But that’s in a while now – you’re still in fifth grade.” Leaning forward on the counter, she asks him, “How are your classes going? Have you made any close friends?”

Yuuto shrugs. He doesn’t care much for most of the other students in his class. Most of them are either social butterflies or troublemakers, and he wouldn’t want to engage with either group. There’s a girl named Serena who’s Miss Popular of the entire school. She’s not smart though, even though her parents put pressure on her to get good grades. Then there are two boys, Yuugo – who sits next to him – and Yuuri, who sits closer to the front. Somehow, despite sitting so far apart from each other, they manage to bicker during class. Yuuto has given up telling Yuugo to stop yelling.

“Hm?” his mother says. “No one?”

“No one,” Yuuto repeats. He puts the last bit of natto into his mouth and then hops down from the table, ignoring the curious stares both his mother and Ruri give him. “Thank you for the meal. I’m going to get ready for school now.”

Yuuto heads back up the stairs to the bathroom, where he begins to get ready. He doesn’t put much thought into his appearance because he already exudes a degree of superiority above everyone else. It’s no secret that he lives in the richest area of town and that his father is a wealthy lawyer. Thankfully, at least to his classmates, that just means he’s someone with a lot of wealth and power. However …

Yuuto’s father is a defendant for criminals. He takes on cases where he believes the person is falsely accused as a criminal, and he defends them before a court that almost always puts them in jail. While this doesn’t impact elementary schoolers, most of whom know nothing about the dimension’s court system, this unfairly paints Yuuto’s father as a bad man. Their family doesn’t have many friends because of his father’s profession.

Again though, it doesn’t bother Yuuto. He thinks his father is doing good work, especially when his father has told him of cases of falsely accused fathers involved in serial kidnappings. Those sorts of cases interest Yuuto. They’re mysteries – his favourite kind of novels. So far his father has told him of at least six cases of reported kidnappings and murders. They aren’t the typical father-son conversations, but Yuuto likes to hear about his father’s work. He likes to know that there is someone out there challenging the court system that believes evidence without giving it much thought.

At the same time though, it’s a bit worrying that there is a criminal out there that, according to his father, has gotten away six times. There’s someone out there targeting elementary school girls in the Synchro dimension. Yuuto’s father is going to find that man.

Yuuto splashes water on his face and looks at himself in the mirror. Were he a bit older, a bit more mature … he could be a lawyer like his father.

He hurries to get himself ready only so that he can slip out the door without saying goodbye to anyone. He still hears it though. When he opens the door, his mother calls to him, “Have a good day, Yuuto!” and Ruri says to him, “Bye bye! See you later!”

His hand stills on the door handle. “… see you,” he says after a moment, twisting his lips to get the words out. 

The sunlight greets him like a slap on the face. Yuuto shields his eyes with his arm and heads down the steps. Unfortunately, even if it’s sunny outside it’s also  _ snowing.  _ Winter has just arrived. In his neighbourhood there aren’t many children, so on the walk to school he doesn't begin to see anyone until he’s closer to Heartland Academy and students are filing in from other communities. These children wear dirty running shoes and bulky winter jackets from convenience stores. Yuuto tugs his earmuffs over his ears and adjusts his peacoat. While his mother dresses trashy, he and Ruri have always worn tasteful clothing.

Unfortunately, those same poorly-dressed students are the ones who walk in chattery clumps. There are few students in the entire school who are alone – even the two dorks in his class, Yuugo and Yuuri, walk together. Yuuto sees them about twenty feet ahead of him, but he hears Yuugo like he’s standing next to him.

“I’m sure I’ll get a higher score than you.”

“Fat chance,” Yuuri says. Though Yuuri isn’t loud – at least, not until Yuugo really sets him off – Yuuri’s voice has a way of slipping through the silence. While Yuuto can tolerate Yuugo only because of his exuberant cheeriness, Yuuri sets Yuuto’s teeth on edge. He acts rich even though he doesn’t live in one of the nicest neighbourhoods. He lives in a  _ condo,  _ which is just a step up from an apartment. Condos are for families with enough money to not be paying endlessly for a 600 sq. foot flat but not enough money to actually afford a house that you can do a cartwheel in.

Yuuto shoves his hands in his pockets, thankful that his earmuffs cancel out some of the racket. However, when he gets into the locker bay the noise is only amplified. Everyone in the damn school is too chatty. Then the same damn sound follows him through the long hallways and into the elevator. He’s crushed between the bodies of other fourth, fifth, and sixth graders heading to the senior classrooms. When the doors open, Yuuto tumbles out and nearly face-plants on the ground if not for a hand that snakes out of nowhere and grabs him by his shirt collar.

“Whoa there!” a voice shouts. “Careful!”

It’s Yuugo, holding the back of his shirt with such a tight grip that Yuuto chokes on his collar. He pulls himself away from Yuugo and steps back.

“You OK there?” Yuugo says, eyes wide. “You almost did a faceplant on –”

“I’m  _ fine,”  _ Yuuto says. He straightens out his dress shirt, and dusts off his pants for good measure too. Then he heads into the classroom, head held high, and right to his seat. Unfortunately, Yuugo sits right next to him at the back of the class, so they still end up sitting together and Yuugo continues to pester him. Just in front of Yuuto is Yuuya with his goggles on top of his head; Yuuto focuses on those goggles instead and blocks out Yuugo. 

A moment later and Yuuri appears. He glares at everyone as he passes by and takes his seat towards the front. 

Then comes Reira. Akaba Reira is the quietest kid in the class, with long, violet hair that bounces behind her. She’s often the last one to come to class too – the fact that she’s here before  _ Heartland  _ is a miracle.

“Yuuto. Yuuto.” Yuugo’s fingers poke into the side of his shoulder. He pouts his lip out, which Yuuto can spot just in the corner of his eye. There’s no one more insufferable that Yuugo, Yuuto knows it. He’s pesky and childish and whiny, and so impulsive that Yuuto is surprised Yuugo hasn’t been kicked out of school. 

_ “Yuuto,”  _ Yuugo says, whining out his name. “I’m stuck on this book, and you’re really smart and always reading a book, so help me out –  _ please?” _

Yuuto sighs. “No –”

“But you're real smart with books!” Yuugo says. “And I’m good at sports. Hey, I can help you with sports if you help me with my homework.”

Again, Yuuto sighs, only this time he adds an eye-roll. Yuugo is semi-decent in sports. He’s more of a practical, hands-on kid, but he can run faster than most of the fifth graders at Heartland Academy. However, there’s something unsettling about what Yuugo says. Yuuto knows he’s better than Yuugo at everything they do in school. Yuuto is the best at everything, a born professional. He has the world at his fingertips, while Yuugo still fumbles with the basics. Yuuto would never say that out loud, but he truly believes it.

_ I’m special,  _ he says,  _ and no one else is. _

However, Yuugo is thick-skulled and doesn’t give up. All throughout class Yuugo pressures him to help, throwing in the occasional well-meaning, albeit unnecessary, praise. Yuugo loves to tell people how well they’re doing, unless said person is Yuuri. With Yuuto, Yuugo lays the praise on thick: “Oh Yuuto, you’re so awesome! You’re the best in the class – no, you’re the best in the  _ dimension!” _

The praise follows him all the way out the door to gym class. Twenty students mill out of the room and down to the locker bays to change. Yuuto pulls on his earmuffs, coat, and boots. When everyone is ready, they get their skates from the gym before they head out into the courtyard. The snow has thickened a bit more; students shove their hands into the fresh snow and toss it into the air. Yuuto brushes his bangs off, scowling. Behind him, Yuuya lingers around, and Reira stands so still that he’s bowled over from Yuugo and Yuuri who begin chucking snowballs at each other.

Eventually, Heartland gets them all to settle and brings them out into the field. Several white, wooden boards have been set up in an oval shape, creating walls to shield a large patch of ice. It’s a makeshift ice rink for sports and practice hockey games; without sticks, they’re supposed to skate. 

“I think Yuuto should race Yuuri!” Yuugo shouts over the cacophony of voice eagerly chatting about skating. His words are picked up by everyone, and the pace of the conversation changes. Now everyone wants Yuuto and Yuuri to skate together. Yuuto already knows the result: Yuuri is a wimp at all sports and won’t even make it out on the ice before falling clear on his face. Yuugo must know this, but he still bends down to help tie up Yuuri’s loose skates.

“You’ll be fine, Yuuri-O,” Yuugo says. He ducks his head to avoid Yuuri’s swing at him. “You’ve got balls.”

“Ba –” Yuuri stumbles out, face red.

Yuuto hops up on the ice and skates out to the starting line. His skates quiver on the scratched-up ice that makes it difficult to move straight. Even though the ice rink has only been out for a week, it’s been such a hot topic among students that the ice is ripped up. Looking over his shoulder, Yuuto spots Yuuri struggling to remain upright on the ice. His hands clench the half-walls of the ice rink so tightly that he looks like he might tumble over at any moment. When Yuuri makes it to the middle of the rink though, the ice evens out a bit and he skates over to Yuuto. His knees click-clack together.

Mr. Heartland, having sensed the beginning of the game, comes out onto the ice to have them start. He holds up his hand and says, “On your marks … get set … go!”

Yuuto dashes forward, pursued by Yuuri who is at least two skate-lengths behind him. Yuuri is a waif of a boy, skinny legs with no muscle on them and brittle bones that could snap if he fell on the ice in a funny position. He doesn’t stand a chance against Yuuto; Yuuto knew that from the start. He overakes Yuuri by a longshot and makes it all the way around the loop by the time Yuuri is halfway there.

The crowd goes wild with praise. Yuuri skates off the ice, not even bothering to finish the race. 

_ You didn’t stand a chance,  _ Yuuto thinks.  _ Everything I do, I win. Everything I do, I always get first place. I’m always prepared to do my best. I’m perfect. _

Yuuto skates on ahead to come out at the opposite end of the track, only he’s stopped once again by Yuugo. He’s reaching so far over the halfwalls that Yuuto thinks he might topple over and onto the ice. Smack on Yuugo’s round face is a big, wide grin with two teeth missing.

“You won! Good job, Yuuto! You’re so fast!”

Yuuto’s mouth twists down into a scowl. “... thanks,” he manages.

“You’re welcome,” Yuugo says in the same boisterous voice he always speaks in. “Here, high five!” Yuugo stretches out a hand, splaying his fingers wide.

Yuuto skates right by Yuugo, not saying another word.

Unfortunately, even ignoring Yuugo during second period doesn't solve any of Yuuto’s problems. Yuugo asks him for help with the book again, and when that doesn’t work he asks for help in another subject. He uses Yuuto’s win at skating as a conversation starter twice, and both times Yuuto pulls out his own book and buries his nose in it. Honestly, it would be better to sit next to Yuuri because at least he’s quiet and does his schoolwork. 

When class ends though, and when everyone has begun to loudly get up out of their seats, Yuugo turns to him. He slams his hands down on Yuuto’s desk and says, “Hey, come to my hideout, Yuuto!”

“No.”

“You won’t regret it, I promise,” Yuugo says. “Please, oh please, Yuuto! If – if you come today, I won’t bug you at all in class tomorrow.”

It appears Yuugo is at least aware of how annoying he can be in the classroom. The thought sits in Yuuto’s mind for a moment, before at last he concedes and crosses his arms. “Fine, I’ll come to your hideout, but only for a bit.”

Yuugo’s face is giddy with a big grin. “You’ll love it. I can promise you that.” And then Yuugo goes dashing off across the classroom and stops in front of Yuuri’s desk. Yuuto tilts his head to the side. Is … Yuuri coming with Yuugo too? Yuuto thought those two hated each other and couldn’t be in the same room as one another, and only walked together because their parents said so. But Yuuri looks over his way and scowls, and then both of them come back for him.

Yuuri crosses his arms tightly over his chest, a deep frown over his elfish, pinched features. “You’re coming then?”

“Yeah,” Yuuto says. 

Yuuri turns heel without another word. Yuuto follows him, and Yuugo is hot on his heels eagerly telling both of them about how he’s got gummy candies in his backpack for the hideout, and how they need to play a board game that three people can play. The more Yuuto listens, the more it sounds like this hideout has been around for a while. Yuuto likes to keep tabs on his classmates, and to his knowledge Yuugo and Yuuri have been in the same class for several years. They must’ve been playing together for a while.

When they get down to the locker area, Yuuto tugs on his winter clothes and then waits outside the doors for Yuugo and Yuuri to show up. The two boys lead him out of the school and then to the left, the opposite direction of where they all live. On the way by they see Yuuya on his way home, and further down the road is Reira with his long hair whipped up in the wind. They live close to each other, Yuuto thinks.

The path diverges away from Yuuya’s house though. Yuugo and Yuuri take Yuuto down a road lined with apartment buildings that then breaks away to reveal the deep blue of the river. Since Yuuto lives on the other side of town, he doesn't visit this river often. He knows of it though. This is the great Heartland City river that runs through the centre of the town. The banks are grassy hills that you can roll down, and there is a boardwalk at the bottom that follows the river’s twists and turns. 

Sitting at the top of the hills is a shed-like building, made of stone and encircled by a tall, wire fence. It looks like a storage facility for the workers who would clean and maintain the river and its boardwalk. However, Yuugo and Yuuri lead him right towards it.

“We can’t go in there …” Yuuto says.

“Yes we can,” Yuugo says. “No one goes there but us, and here, lemme show you.” 

They head to the back of the building and to the fence. There’s a hole at the bottom, big enough for a child to climb through; the dirt below has been kicked away to provide a larger opening. Yuugo gets down on his hands and knees and crawls; Yuuri goes next, and Yuuto follows them. On the other side of the fence there’s about eight feet of space between the fence and the building. Yuuto glances around for the next step when Yuugo taps his shoulder.

“Next,” he says, “we go up there.” He points to an open window about six or so feet high. The stones of the building are chipped away in places and dirty in others; the former provides little ledges that can be used to jump and climb up to the window.

Yuugo goes first. He runs with all his might and leaps up to the window. When his hands latch onto the windowsill, he uses his boots to push himself up the wall and into the building. Instead of going in though, he hangs halfway out the window and stretches down his hands. “Come on, Yuuri-O,” he says, giggling.

“Shut up” Yuuri says, cheeks red, and then dashes forward, He can’t run as fast or jump as high; however, he makes it to Yuugo’s hands. Yuugo shimmies backwards as Yuuri yanks himself up into the window. When Yuugo can reach under Yuuri’s arm, he heaves him through the opening. Yuuri disappears somewhere into the building.

Yuugo turns back to him. “Need a hand, Yuuto?”

“No,” Yuuto says. “I’ll do it on my own.”

“Suit yourself,” Yuugo says. He slips back into the building, leaving Yuuto alone. It isn’t until Yuuto is by himself that he begins to wonder just how he can do this. He would never stoop so low to ask for  _ Yuugo’s  _ help, but perhaps he can’t do this. Yuuto shakes his head though; he’s perfect and he can do everything. He remembers enough of Yuugo’s jump to know how to replicate it.

Yuuto takes one deep, steady breath in and out, and then he runs forward. When he’s at the bottom of the windowsill he leaps up. His hands touch cool metal, and he quickly latches on and hangs. At once his arms burn from the strength; he kicks out his legs, searching for any sort of ledge that he can use to boost himself up. After scrambling for a second, he finds one and hoists himself up and through the window. Where he ends up is a storage room that looks unappealing in every way. There are no toys, no lights, no food –

“Hey.” Yuugo holds up his hand. “You’re did it. But” – his face grows solemn – “before you step any further, you have to promise you will keep this place a secret. No adults allowed. Never tell another  _ soul  _ Yuuto, not even your parents.”

“Fine,” Yuuto says.

Yuugo sticks out his hand. “Pinkie promise it.”

“Pinke – what? No.”

Yuugo doesn’t drop his hand. “I can’t trust you unless you pinkie promise.”

Yuuto gives Yuugo a deadpan stare, but then concedes with a sigh. He links his smallest finger with Yuugo’s, and then drops his hand. Yuugo steps to the side and flourishes a hand out. 

“Welcome to our hideout, Yuuto.”

Just beyond Yuugo is a bright room. There’s a wooden table with chairs around it; on the table are open boxes of snacks and cups of juice. There’s a stack of board games on the edge of the table too, but most of the games appear to be on the shelves at the end of the room, or on the blanket and pillow nests in the middle of the room. There are books lying by the blankets – comics mostly, but some novels.

“Here,” Yuuri says, shoving a cup of juice into Yuuto’s hands.

“Thanks,” Yuuto says, a bit dazedly as he tries to get his bearings on where he’s just walked into. This place has so much stuff in it that it can’t be some place Yuugo and Yuuri recently found. They must’ve been playing here for a while; however, neither of them live close to this area of town, so …

“How’d you find this … place?” Yuuto asks.

“Coincidence,” Yuuri says with a shrug.

“We were  _ destined  _ to find it,” Yuugo says. He loops a hand round Yuuto’s shoulders and drags him across the room and towards the table. They’ve already set up a board game, it appears: checkers. It’s one of the most basic games Yuuto has ever played.  _ Ruri,  _ his baby sister, even knows the rules to checkers. However, Yuuto lets Yuugo push him down into a chair and scooch him up to the table. Yuuri takes a seat opposite him and begins setting up the board.

“Want to be black or red?” Yuuri asks.

“Doesn't matter.”

“I’m black then,” Yuuri says. He smirks. “Good luck.”

Yuuto shrugs. He can beat both of his parents at checkers anyways. He’s good at strategy games too. Besides, he should only need to win once for Yuugo and Yuuri to get sick of him and let him go home. Yuuto has homework to complete and chores to do. 

Quickly Yuuto finds out that there is one thing Yuuri is good at and it’s checkers. Yuuri must’ve memorised the board because he counters ever single one of Yuuto’s plays, even the ones that would normally have Yuuto’s parents’ heads turning. Yuuri does not go easy on Yuuto either. He sits across the board with an impish grin on his little, pink lips, face cradled in his hands. He doesn’t say a word, but his expression says more.

Then there’s Yuugo: “Oh wow, Yuuto, you don’t stand a chance against Yuuri!”

Yuugo is an insufferable commentator.

The problem arises though when the game is done. Yuuto sits at his empty board, staring down at all the pieces Yuuri still has. Yuuri demolished him. Yuuto didn’t stand a chance. Those thoughts don’t bode with Yuuto who normally wins at everything he does. Yuuri shouldn't have beaten him.

Yuuto curls his hands into fists beneath the table. “Another game.”

Yuuri’s grin splits across his pinched face. “You think you stand a chance?”

Yuuri wins again.

“Another,” says Yuuto.

Again and again they play, until Yuuto seems to feel his energy fade away. He doesn’t stand a  _ chance.  _ He hangs his head after sixteen consecutive losses. At the other end of the table, Yuuri sits in gloating silence. When Yuuto doesn’t ask for another game, Yuuri begins to pack up the checkers board and pieces into the box at the other end of the table. Yuuto doesn’t move.

“It’s OK,” Yuugo says, patting him on the back. “I suck at checkers too. I don’t think anyone in our class has ever won against Yuuri. He’s probably the best checkers player in the school.”

“You’d probably be able to win against Yuugo,” Yuuri says, “but that’s not hard to do.”

“Hey!”

Yuuto nods. He feels a bit lame. Losing doesn’t sit well with him. And now he has to return home, where he’s a perfect prince who gets top grades and always comes in first place. Should he tell his parents about his loss? Should he tell them he’s no longer perfect? 

“Yuuto.” Yuugo smiles at him. “Come hang out with us tomorrow too!”

“I’ll play backgammon with you,” Yuuri says. “Maybe you’ll stand a better chance with that game.”

“Sure,” Yuuto mumbles. “I’ll … let myself out, OK?”

“But we walk the same way,” Yuugo says. “Why don’t we all walk home?”

“I have somewhere else to go,” Yuuto says. He doesn’t, but he wants to be alone with his losses. Thankfully, Yuugo and Yuuri clean up without him. Yuuto heads back out the window, leaps down onto the soft snow, and then climbs through the hole in the fence and back towards the road. He heads down the sidewalk, noticing the way his long shadow trails after him. By the time he gets home, it’ll be dinnertime. His mother might ask after his whereabouts; he’ll lie to her.

Tomorrow though … Yuuto glances back at the shed. 

Tomorrow, he’ll come back and beat Yuuri at backgammon.

* * *

He never does win a game against Yuuri, but he comes back. 

He comes back again and again and again, and both Yuugo and Yuuri comment on it with big smirks on their faces.

The second week though, that’s when something changes. It’s in class when it happens, when it’s quiet enough that Yuuto can hear himself think and he can look ahead to the back of someone’s messy red and green hair with goggles tucked between the wild strands.

Yuuya. He’s been watching Yuuya for the past few days, especially since now Yuuto walks to the hideout with Yuugo and Yuuri. Whenever Yuuto sees Yuuya, he’s never far away from Reira. Yuuya doesn't have friends though, and he never seems to connect with anyone in the classroom. He’s polite and optimistic, but it’s a painful ruse.

But still, Yuuya interests Yuuto. There’s something about him that makes Yuuto tap his pencil into Yuuya’s hair and ask him, “Want to come to the hideout?”

Next to time, Yuugo’s mouth drops. “Yuuto! You can’t just invite anyone you want!”

Yuuya spins around in his seat, looking from Yuuto to Yuugo and appearing rather confused with his bottom lip stuck out. Yuuya has big, reddish-brown eyes that blink at both of them. “Huh? Kamishiro –”

“Yuuto. Call me Yuuto.”

Yuuya smiles. “Yuuto then. Um … what do you mean?”

Apparently having forgotten his anger, Yuugo leans over his desk and puts his face right in front of Yuuya’s. “Oh Yuuya, you’re cool though! You should come to our hideout today!”

It’s as if Yuugo can have a change of heart in a heartbeat. Yuuto sighs and cradles his head in his hands, peeking through his fingers to see Yuuya smiling at them. It’s hard to tell if Yuuya appreciates the offer or if he’s just going along with them to be polite. Yuuya would be the type of kid to not speak up when he dislikes something. Yet Yuuto won’t be the one to coddle Yuuya. 

After class, Yuuya follows Yuuto, Yuugo, and Yuuri out of the school and down the road towards the hideout. Yuugo leads them with big, stomping steps in the falling snow. Yuuri trails behind, complaining that Yuugo is so loud the whole school probably heard that they were heading to the hideout today. Yuuya stays in the middle and glances around. And Yuuto hangs at the end, watching Yuuya’s back with careful eyes. Just ahead of them is Reira, heading home with his head bowed and dressed in a dark peacoat and a long, red scarf wrapped twice around his neck.

They turn off down the road to the hideout. Yuuto catches Yuuya watching Reira continue down the road. 

_ Does Yuuya know Akaba? Does Yuuya have any interest in Akaba? Why? Who would be interested in such a dull, silent kid?  _

At the entrance to the hideout, Yuugo and Yuuri are  _ still  _ arguing about how someone is going to find the way into the hideout. They glance around to look for people hiding in the bushes before they head round the fence and to the little hole they’ll need to crawl through.

“You know,” Yuuya says, “if you’re so worried about a stranger coming by and finding us, you shouldn’t go here when it’s snowing.” He turns around and points to the trail of footprints leading to the fence. “These are clues that someone has been here, and even if they can’t identify us I bet someone would be able to tell there were kids playing here.”

Yuuri nods, tapping his chin. “You’re actually right about that, Yuuya.”

“How about a rule then?” Yuuya says. “No going to the hideout when it’s snowing.”

Yuugo kicks at a patch of snow with the toe of his boot. “Aw! But that means no going to the hideout during the winter. That’s a  _ long  _ time to have to find something else to do.”

Yuuto hums under his breath. What Yuugo says is true: the three of them have had fun at the hideout, and winter has just begun. They’ll need to find another place to go for the season. There’s the river bank that they can play on, and a gazebo on the other side of the river that isn’t too far of a walk to get to. However … there are sometimes adults there. Yuuto trusts his parents, and he trust Mr. Heartland, but he doesn't trust strangers, and he especially doesn’t trust strange-but-friendly adults.

And there’s one of those. Yuuto can see him today, sittings across the river and down on the snow bank. Even from this distance Yuuto can see the trading cards in his hands, meant to be played by elementary- and middle-schoolers but somehow are in this adult’s hands. Yuuto doesn't know this guy’s name, but he’s seen him when he, Yuugo, and Yuuri have come by. The man’s isn’t doing anything wrong … yet. He’s a stranger who sits all by himself and plays with children’s toys. He’s suspicious.

Yuuto feels Yuuya’s eyes on him though, and he hastily turns away. “We’ll think of something,” he says. “We’re already here and made footprints, so we might as well spend one more day at the hideout. Besides, Yuuya hasn’t even seen it before.”

“Thanks, Yuuto,” Yuuya says.

One by one they crawl through the hole in the fence and then climb up through the window into the stone building. Yuuya is more agile then he looks, and he only needs a boost up the window when he nearly slips and falls to the ground. When they all cram inside the building, Yuugo begins taking out puzzles and board games. Yuuya hangs around for a moment until Yuuri mischievously challenges him to checkers. 

Yuuto settles at the table next to them, holding his juice cup between his chilly hands. He watches the game with rapt interest. Yuuya still doesn’t stand a chance against Yuuri, but he’s doing better than Yuuto thought he would.

_ What are you good at, I wonder,  _ Yuuto thinks.  _ These kids, they’re not all stupid … not even Yuugo, really. Everyone has something special to them. Yuugo is kind and honest to a fault. Yuuri is wise and cunning, and a good strategist. Yuuya has … Yuuya has an inner strength, I just know it.  _

Yuuto swallows.  _ They’re special too. My friends … are special. _


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a day late - i lost track of time ^^;;  
> enjoy! <3

_ _

_ I have a classmate who’s all by herself. Every day, and probably every night too. He sits ahead of me, and ahead of Yuuya too. He has long, straight, purple hair that’s violet in the right sunlight. He has big, blue eyes too, but his expression is more deadpan that Yuuri’s. Every day she walks to school alone. Every day she walks home alone. She never comes to class on Mondays, and on Tuesdays she comes to class so listless that she blends into room. _

_ I’m uncomfortable seeing her this way. I’m uncomfortable knowing that there’s a girl who walks to and from school all by herself. No one seems to pay attention to her. Yuuya watches her a bit, but he doesn’t seem to know what to do.  _

_ Her name – the quiet student – is Akaba Reira. She has bruises around her neck and legs. She always wears long-sleeves shirts with high collars, and a red scarf that she wraps twice around her thin neck. Once I saw a bruise on her upper thigh. _

_ Those bruises must come from her house. At school, no one pays attention to Akaba. No one would have a chance to hurt her. But at home, she must be unguarded. She can’t protect herself. She’s hurt, but no one seems to notice. She has no friends to help her and no teachers on her side. Mr. Heartland doesn’t seem to notice the frequency of her absences, or her general pallor or well-being.  _

_ I know how to contact the child protection centre. I know how to get help … but should I? It’s none of my business; it’s an adult’s job to take care of children, right? She is my classmate though … and she needs help. _

_ Someone needs to stand up and help her … but that someone can’t be me. _

* * *

“Yuuto?” Yuuya waves his hand in front of Yuuto’s face to catch his attention, and then blushes scarlet and brings his hand back to his side. “Sorry, you were kinda spacing out there. What’re you looking at?”

Yuuto shrugs. Outside, it’s snowing heavily. The schoolyard is completely white, and the storm is so thick that Yuuto can’t even see the front gate of the school. It’s been blizzardy and cold for the past few days, so none of the boys have gone to the hideout or even to the hill to play. They’ve all headed home, bundled up in thick winter jackets and gloves – except Yuuya, who always wear damp running shoes and no gloves.

As if to prove Yuuto’s point, Yuuya blows on his frozen, pink hands. He looks like he’s developing frostbite on some of the digits.

Heartland comes stumbling into the room a second later, followed by Reira. 

“Everyone, I think we’re all here now. Reira, go take you seat and get out your books. I’ll write up the schedule for today, and then we’ll take attendance and get on our way with the day.” Heartland claps his hands together, and then turns around to begin writing up the daily schedule on the blackboard in large kanji. Yuuto props up his head and lazily watches Heartland get to work.

Yuuya turns back around in his seat, facing forward; however, he doesn’t pay attention to Heartland. His gaze remains focused on Reira, who has taken his seat and begun to write in one of his notebooks. Yuuto can tell just where Yuuya is staring too. Yuuto’s throat grows tight. The edge of Reira’s skirt is bunched up a bit high on his thigh, and just under the hemline is the purple and black speckling of an ugly bruise. The skin is even discoloured green around the bruise, and there are a couple scratches through it too that must have bled.

Yuuto feels sick to his stomach. He knows that Reira’s body is littered with painful, ugly bruises like that.

Nothing happens – not loudly at least – but Yuuto sees Yuuya’s entire body stiffen. All the muscles in his neck contract together and become a tight ball of worry and anger. Yuuya’s hands clench so tightly around his pencil it’s a surprise he doesn’t snap it.

Yuuya saw too. He saw the bruise on Reira’s leg, and it affected him so badly that for the rest of the class all Yuuya seems capable of doing is watching Reira like a hawk. It’s painfully obvious that Yuuya is staring, yet Yuuto doesn't have it in him to make Yuuya look away. Miraculously, no one else seems to notice. Everyone else copies the notes Heartland writes on the board for them, and the day continues without a single hitch. 

At lunch break though, Yuuto can’t keep the question off his tongue. He takes up his spot in the corner of the room with his book, but he peeks over the pages and watches Yuuya gather his lunch and carry it over to him. Yuuya’s face is waxen and pale, and his eyebrows are drawn together tightly. The pained look on his face is so obvious to Yuuto, but Yuugo and Yuuri don’t seem to notice a single thing wrong. They go about their usual bickering.

_ Am I the only one who sees what’s wrong?  _ Yuuto thinks.  _ Yuuya, you saw Akaba too. You’re acting differently because of this. What if you reacted? _

Yuuto looks over his book and coughs softly. “Yuuya, can I ask you a question?”

Yuuya smiles brightly at him – a forced smile though, painfully tugging at his cheeks. “Sure, Yuuto.”

“Do you like Akaba?”

Yuuya actually chokes, hand flying to his mouth to cover his dry coughs. “Huh?” he says. He coughs again to clear his throat. “W-what do you mean, Yuuto?”

But Yuuto doesn’t get much of a chance to interrogate Yuuya further. Yuugo picks up the conversation right away and begins asking Yuuya about who he likes, which then prompts Yuugo to tell everyone about the girl he likes, which leads to more storytelling and teasing that Yuuto avoids like the plague. He returns to his book with a glower to all of them; over the top of his novel, he spots Yuuya staring at him, once more deep in thought.

“Do you like Akaba?” Yuugo says. “Like like-like him?”

“You mean like as in love …?” Yuuya rubs the back of his head, a blush on his cheeks. “I don’t think it’s quite like that, but I do … care about him.”

Yuuto stops reading.

_ Yuuya doesn’t have romantic feelings for Akaba Reira. He’s not in love. He’s … protecting her. He cares for her. _

Then and there, while pretending to read his book, Yuuto makes a plan. He’s not good with solutions and with helping people, but he has all the clues to help Yuuya. Yuuya has already figured out that Reira is being abused, and hopefully he put two and two together and realised it was from Reira’s house. In the class anthology there is a short story Reira wrote that might give Yuuya some more clues. Yuuto didn’t realise it at first, but a story titled  _ The Dimension Where Only I Am Missing  _ about a girl who lives all by herself and without her  _ mother  _ seems like a big clue. It might get Yuuya to act.

No. It  _ will  _ get Yuuya to act. Yuuya cares about Reira – not love, not even like-like, but cares deeply for her. Yuuto feels a bit guilty doing this – is it like he’s using Yuuya? Shouldn’t he be helping? But, with his book acting as a shield, Yuuto tells himself that he is not strong enough. He doesn't have solutions to problems; he only has all the clues. Yuuya though is an actor and a believer. He has the will to make great changes in the dimension.

Yuuya will save Akaba Reira.

However, that night Yuuto goes home in a foul mood. He marches back home through the snow and slush, head bowed to keep the falling snowflakes out of his eyes. He ignores anyone who looks up and smiles at him. Rage burns deep within his gut, so hot and powerful that more than once Yuuto has to slap his hands over his mouth to muffle a low growl. It’s like there is a wounded beast inside of him crying to get out.

When he gets home, stomping up the steps, he throws open the door and tumbles inside. He kicks off his dirty boots and doesn’t bother setting them neatly at the edge of the genkan or even in the closet. In the kitchen, his mother looks round the corner. Yuuto is faster though, and he dashes up the stairs before she can see his face. He pushes past Ruri, who, having just come out of her room with some Lego blocks in her hands, greets him with a big smile.

“Hiya!” she says in delight.

Yuuto slams the door in her face. He heads across his room, then back to the door, then back to the bed. He flexes his hands, feeling the tension everywhere in his body all at once. Even his mind feels tense, like it might rend in two jagged halves. 

With a guttural growl, Yuuto snatches up a stuffed dragon lying on his bed and rips its head right off. Cotton filling spills all over his bedspread and on the floor in great, snowy-like clumps. Yuuto throws the stuffed animal across the room, and then grabs another dragon and rips its head off too. This time he doesn’t see the hurt he’s caused because there are big, fat tears in his eyes that hang around his waterline and refuse to fall.

_ I’m weak,  _ Yuuto thinks.  _ I’m weak and pathetic and useless. I can’t change anything. I can’t react. I’m not wise or mature or  _ anything!

He slams his head into his bed, burying his runny nose into his duvet. He sobs as loudly as he can, the noise muffled by the thick comforter. It’s unlikely his mother or sister will come into his room, and if they do Yuuto can shout at them to leave. They’ll listen to him. He just … wants to be alone. He wants to cry and get angry and hurt. He wants to be sad.

_ I’m ashamed of myself. Yuuya will probably protect Reira and keep her from home. He’ll make the first step and befriend Reira. He’ll keep trying and never give up. Me though? I’m pathetic. I give up when I lose. I don’t like to be a loser. And I pretend to be cool. I pretend to be mature. I pretend to be better than everyone, no wanting to play childish games at the hideout. I read mature books and dress like my father. I pretend to be an adult. _

_ But I am fake.  _

_ And I am not happy. _

_ I wish I was like Yuuya. He’s real, especially now. He knows what to do. I trust Yuuya more than I trust myself.  _

Yuuto climbs up into his bed and wraps himself tight in the covers. He snuggles up, not letting even a single toe out of the covers. Under the blankets feels safe and warm. He can peek out through an opening and see if anything or anyone is coming for him. Under the blanket, no one can hurt him.

_ What would Yuuya do?  _ Yuuto asks himself. Yuuya has good plans. Yuuya would do the right thing.

Yuuya would be happy – genuinely happy, like a real person and not an imposter.

_ I’m not an imposter,  _ Yuuto tells himself.  _ Starting tomorrow, I’ll be real too. I’ll be real for you, Yuuya. _

Carefully, he unrolls himself from the blankets. He keeps them over his back though, but no longer does he feel the shakiness in his bones or mind. His weary body lies down on the bed, head pressed to his soft pillow. He glances at his door with a tired smile. 

_ I’m really fortunate to have friends who care about me. I’m really fortunate to have friends who are special. All I wanted was to have friends too. All I wanted was to be included. Yuugo reached out to me, and I reached out to Yuuya … and now Yuuya is reaching out back to me, and Yuugo too, and Yuuri … and maybe someday I can be Akaba’s friend too. Yuuya will have to be the one to save Akaba, but I’ll help Yuuya. _

A smile flickers on his face like sunlight at the start of a new day.

_ I’ll help you save Akaba, Yuuya. I promise. _

* * *

_ Yuuya is brave. _

_ Yuuya brought Reira to the children’s centre one day. He brought Reira to the hideout. No matter where Reira is, Yuuya is never far behind. At times he’s a bit overprotective and hovers over Reira, but I think she  _

_ likes that sort of attention. For so long Reira has been forgotten and missing, so to have someone who dotes on his every action must make him feel special too. Yuuya’s caring behaviours are what can save Reira. _

_ Sometimes though, Yuuya cares too much, and he hurts himself and others. After his and Reira’s birthday party, Yuuya ran out of the house. He had such a terrible lie that I followed him out of curiosity. Where was he going? What did he plan to do? I was not prepared for Yuuya’s actions. He slashed the tires of some delivery vehicles outside of Tsukumo Foods, and then he threw a rock in the window of the shop. I’d never seen Yuuya hurt someone before. His actions were intentional though; Yuuya had a plan. _

_ I must stop Yuuya if he hurts himself or others. _

_ Then Yuuya did something truly terrible. He used a disposable camera, fashioned as a stun gun, to try and push Akaba’s mother off the top of the stairs. He failed because it takes a special kind of camera to do that. But once more, Yuuya’s actions were intentional. He tried to kill someone. _

_ I’m glad it was the camera that stopped him. I had to stop Yuuya there though, before he tried something even more reckless. He’s so desperate to save Akaba that he’ll throw away all his morals to ensure her survival. I don’t know how I feel about that … no, I  _ know  _ I feel sad. Yuuya cares. Yuuya can’t hurt Akaba’s mother.  _

_ That day, I became a bit more honest to Yuuya. I told him I’d help him. Yuuya needs help. He needs someone level-headed. I’m not anyone special, but I’m good enough. I hope I didn’t sound cocky that day; I didn’t mean to.  _

_ I just … want to take care of Yuuya. _

_ We kidnapped Akaba that night and hid him in an old, abandoned bus in the back of the play yard at Neo Domino Elementary. It was far away from Akaba’s house and from any place someone might go looking for him in. We told Yuuri about Akaba too. You can’t tell everyone … but you have to trust someone. Yuuya and I couldn’t save Akaba all on our own. We needed more help and an intervention big enough to get Akaba out of his house. _

_ Every day … there was something new to treasure. We had elaborate plans that were far beyond what any adult thought we could do. Yuuya was the leader, and I followed him. I helped him. I went along with Yuuya’s adventure, playing my own role. I am not the special, perfect leader; I am Yuuya’s friend. I take care of Yuuya and he takes care of me.  _

_ Yuuya knew more about this case than anyone else. I knew there were girls in other cities being kidnapped since Father told me about his work. It was likely that someday that same killer would come to Heartland City. However, Yuuya  _ knew  _ this. He believed the killer was already here, and that we needed to protect the lonely girls of this city too. Not only did we watch Akaba, but we kept an eye on a girl named Izayoi Rin too. Neither of us ever wanted to believe that someone would go after Yuuri, but a killer might target him and mistake him for a girl. _

_ We were prepared for the killer. We made sure no one was alone, not even Saotome who distanced herself from the entire class. Yuuya was more prepared than anyone. He brought us all together. He made friends easily and became more real. We all fell in love with the real Yuuya who showed us how to take a step forward with courage and smile freely.  _

_ For just a brief moment, we lived in a dimension where no one was missing. _

* * *

Yuuto’s head drops onto his desk. He hasn’t cried in weeks, not since he first confronted Yuuya about his strange behaviour. Since then, it’s been peaceful in the city. Everything seemed to be brighter. But now, in the classroom so eerily quiet, Yuuto has no hope for this dimension. The skies grow black and grey like his shriveling heart inside his chest cavity. 

Standing before them, Heartland tells the class that Yuuya was injured in an accident and fell into a coma. 

Just the day before … Yuuya … he

_ “Tell us tomorrow how it goes, OK? You’re not the only detective in this game.” _

_ “Got it! I promise!” _

_ You promised, Yuuya,  _ Yuuto thinks.  _ You promised you’d see us tomorrow. You promised you’d report back to us and tell us how you … how you saved all the children in the dimensions. No one – no one was supposed to go missing, least of all  _ you!

Yuuto covers his mouth with both hands to muffle a sob. He keeps his face down so that the tears aren’t so visible on his blotchy cheeks. Thankfully, the news has hit everyone so hard that no one bothers to look at him. Besides, the tears are still clinging to his eyes. He’s not a mess yet. He can handle this.

He can’t handle this. 

The lights in the entire city seem to disappear, sucked by the agony that courses through the very earth. Yuuto glances around and sees hopelessness in its primal form. He feels a heavy weight drag his body down so that he can’t move, paralysed in limbo. He’s done for. There is no hope in a dimension without Sakaki Yuuya. His closest friend – the person in the whole entire  _ universe  _ who he truly cares about – is gone.

_ Who am I without you, Yuuya? _

* * *

It’s over a month later before Yuuto hears from Yoko, Yuuya’s mother, that he can visit Yuuya at the hospital. She meets him outside the school one day, hair tied up in a high bun that lets loose, dreary ringlets hang around her tired, green eyes. She’s lost weight this month. She doesn't look like she’s eaten or slept well. She looks almost as poorly as Yuuto’s mom does, and that’s saying something because every previous memory he has of Yoko is of her beaming face. She had a smile as bright as Yuuya’s. Today though, she isn’t smiling.

Yuuto hops down the final steps and bows to her. “Good afternoon, Sakaki –”

“Yoko,” she says. “Please, Yuuto – just Yoko, just like always.”

Yuuto straightens up and smiles. “Yoko.” 

He follows her out of the school and down the main road into the city. There are dozens of students heading into town to buy sweets or toys. Yuuto walks next to Yoko, unsure whether he should take her hand or not. She’s not his parent, but he likes Yoko more than his mother. Plus Yoko looks like the breeze might sweep her away; she might not even make it to the hospital. Miraculously though, she manages to take him across town and to the great, towering building of the Heartland City Hospital. 

Yuuto has been to the hospital before. When Ruri was born, he went to visit his mother there. He knows how large the building is. There are hallways leading everywhere and elevators that appear to shoot up to the moon. People bustle around inside – some civilians in casual wears, and some employees in scrubs. 

The critical care unit is just one floor up from the ground. The ride in the elevator makes Yuuto’s stomach bubble even when the doors open all-too-suddenly in front of his face and he has to step out. This time, he takes Yoko’s hand and waits for her to lead him down several long hallways into a quaint little ward.

The door they arrive only has a name on it: Sakaki Yuuya, written in bubbly kanji. Yoko pushes open the door and leads him in.

Yuuya’s room is brighter than he imagined. There’s a bathroom directly to the side. Yuuya’s bed takes up the most space in the room – a big, metal stretcher with bars pulled up to keep Yuuya inside. White sheets cover the lower half of his body, but from his chest upwards Yuuto can see wires and medical equipment everywhere. There is an IV in Yuuya’s arm and a finger pulse reader on his opposite hand. A tracheal tube is inserted into his mouth; there’s another apparatus around his neck, probably meant for breathing too. A mask is over Yuuya’s face that obscures both his mouth and nose. Gauze is wrapped tight around his head, also affixed with more medical equipment. The entire set-up looks  _ frightening.  _

Yuuya is as pale as his bedsheets. He lies deathly still with his eyes closed, head leaning against one of the pillows. He hasn’t been in the hospital for that long but he’s already lost some weight too, cheeks sallow.

“Yuuto,” Yoko says, “why don’t you come take a seat by the bed?”

Yuuto nods. There are three chairs by the bed. To Yuuto’s knowledge, he’s the first friend to have come visit Yuuya. Maybe someday the others will come too. Yuugo and Yuuri have been asking about Yuuya. Reira hangs out with them too and has been in shock. At the hideout, Rin has asked how Yuuya has been. They’ve all been worried about him.

Yoko’s hand rests along his shoulder, lightly touching the muscles between his shoulder and neck. “Yuuya is in a coma, so he can’t speak. He might be able to hear you though. If you’d like … why don’t you talk to him? If he’s awake in there, he might recognise your voice.”

Yuuto knows that Yuuya will never wake up to his voice. That’s a miracle that will never happen. However, speaking to Yuuya …

Yuuto leans forward on the bed and carefully takes one of Yuuya’s thin, flimsy hands. The skin is dry and weathered, perhaps a sign of all the hard work Yuuya has done. Yuuto holds the hand between his and bows his head. “Yuuya,” he says, “you are one of the most important people in all the dimension. You are too important. You are too special. Everyone has been asking about you in class, even students who I bet you didn’t know cared so much about you. Maybe they don’t care about you; maybe they’re just saying that out of politeness.

“But you’ve changed a lot of people. You’ve helped a lot of people find friends and feel happy. You’ve done a lot of good. I want you to know how happy I am for you. You’re brave. You’re my best friend.

“We’ll all be safe because of what you’ve done. You protected this dimension with your life. So now, please, Yuuya, take a break. Relax. Breathe easy. Thank you for taking care of all of us. Now it’s time we took care of you.”


	46. Chapter 46

In the hospital room, Yuuto sits with his head bowed low and his shoulders hunched. His soul seems to drip from his husk of a body. He feels lifeless in Yuuya’s room. The beeps and buzzes ring in his ears. Puffs of air come from the mask fastened around Yuuya’s face and the tubes attached to his throat. All these machines are keeping Yuuya alive. All of this is what remains of Yuuya.

It makes Yuuto want to cry. Yuuya was his best friend, an energetic boy who cared deeply for those around him. Yuuya wanted friends more than anyone, even more than Yuuto did. Yuuya made friends all on his own. He became himself through his friends, and he brought them all together. Seeing that same kid lying comatose on a white hospital bed rends Yuuto’s bleeding heart. 

The room has freshened up a bit though. Pictures and drawings hang along the wall. Yoko’s brought some of Yuuya’s blankets and stuffed animals to his room for him to sleep with. One of Rin’s CDs lies on the table; when Yuuto got here, he heard Rin’s beautiful voice and the sound of her hichiriki. The room is lively, but it’s not where Yuuya is meant to be.

Yuuto’s shaking hands clamp around Yuuya’s thin, bony wrist. Yuuya has lost so much weight since the accident. The doctors say they are doing the best they can, but whenever Yuuto stops by he sees Yuuya’s light flicker a bit more. Yuuya is dying. Yuuya might never wake up. The beautiful friend Yuuto made might disappear for good.

Yuuto’s breath hitches, and he clamps a hand to his mouth to hold back a sob. “Yuuya,” he whispers. “I’m … sorry. For this. For everything. That day … Why did you have to do it all by yourself? Why did we trust you to go alone? Why didn’t we come with you?”

Yuuya’s chest rises and falls with steady breaths.

“I could’ve  _ helped you,”  _ Yuuto says, voice breaking off with a whine. He clears his throat, sniffling into the palm of his hand. “I should have know you wouldn’t be OK. No one was supposed to be alone. You knew the killer was out there, and you did something – I know you did something. How come you got hurt by this? How come it … was … you?”

A pair of warm, albeit dry, hands come to rest on his shoulders. The hands massage away the kinks in his neck and back, thumbs lightly pressing into his skin. Yoko stands just behind him, holding Yuuto’s body against her stomach. “Yuuto,” she says, “you know it’s not your fault.”

“I know,” Yuuto says. He sounds like a robot. He knows this isn’t his fault. But saying it doesn’t mean he feels it inside his aching heart. No, his heart feels ready to burst with guilt. The day before Yuuya was in the accident, he promised he’d tell them all how it went with Serena. He went after her without a single care. He was doing justice.

Time and time again, Yuuya has done justice.

And what has Yuuto done?

Yoko’s fingers brush away Yuuto’s unshed tears. She’s become more of a mother to him than Yuuto’s own mother is. He spends more time in the hospital with Yoko and Yuuya than he does at his own house with his mother, father, and sister. His own family barely sees him because of how much time he spends around Yuuya.

“You couldn’t stop those bad things that happened, especially not on your own. You are just one person, and one person isn’t strong enough to do all that.” She cards her fingers through his hair, sighing. “You need to reflect on those bad things and make a decision about what you want to do next. You want to take action, don’t you?”

“I … do.”

“Then you should do something. But think first, and ask for help. You won’t be able to make a good decision all by yourself.”

Yuuto looks up, eyes still wet. Through the tears he can see her staring down at him, smiling. Her lips are cracked and there are deep, purple bags under her eyes. Her blonde hair is sinewy around her greasy cheeks. She doesn’t look like she’s had a shower in several days, but somehow she still looks beautiful. She looks strong. She hasn’t given up yet – no, not with that heroic expression. 

“It hurts,” Yuuto says to her.

She nods. “I bet it does. We both lost someone special that night. He’s here, in body … but not quite in spirit.” She turns her head to look at Yuuya, who sleeps soundly on the bed. He had a bath today, and so he appears quite fresh and revived. They’ve replaced the bandages around his head, but tufts of red and green hair still peek out.

“I don’t know if Yuuya will ever wake up, Yuuto. I want to hope and believe, but I can’t promise anything.”

“What Yuuya did that night,” Yuuto says, voice cracking. “He did something foolish.”

“But he was prepared,” Yoko says. She gives Yuuto’s shoulders one last rub, and then comes to sit next to Yuuya’s bed. She strokes her son’s cheek, lips quivering when Yuuya doesn’t respond to the contact. “My son had a plan that day. Yuuya went to rescue someone that day, didn’t he?”

“Saotome Serena,” Yuuto says. “She’s a lonely girl in our class, someone that’s quite bratty if you ask me. But she was all alone that day, and Yuuya was worried she’d be kidnapped by the same man we thought might go after Reira. You knew about that, right? About the kidnappings?”

Yoko nods. “I have a reporter friend who studies the kidnappings in the other dimensional cities. He talked to me about it, but I didn’t think as much about it. I trusted Yuuya’s judgment to not get into too much trouble.” She smiles. “I still don’t think he did. Yuuya went to go help a friend that day. It’s unfortunate this … was the result.”

_ She’s strong,  _ Yuuto thinks. He wipes his eyes and nose with a handkerchief in his back pocket, and sniffles into the folds of it. How come he’s never seen Yoko cry before? How come she can remain so strong when her only child is comatose?

“What does Yuuya’s friend always say?” Yoko muses. “‘Have hope,’ right? Well, I think we should have hope and keep believing in Yuuya. That’s what he’d want us to do, right?”

Yuuto nods, but the action feels mechanical. Sitting next to Yuuya, hope seems like such a far-away dream.

* * *

_ I am alone.  _

_ I have no hope. _

Yuuto sits at his desk, staring at the empty space ahead of him. The whir of classroom life seems to pass right by him, but Yuuto doesn’t have the energy to pay attention to him. He feels like his ghost could fall through the ground and travel all the way to the centre of the earth, and no one in the world would notice his disappearance. Yuuto feels like he might just lose himself; that when he gets up out of his seat he might not be able to pick up his body.

_ I need help. _

Yuuto rarely asks for help. He offers help, and still believes that he knows more about the world than anyone else. He shouldn’t need to ask for help. But then Yoko told him he couldn’t do everything on his own. Yoko told him he should ask for help. She’s an adult, so she must know more than him. Then should he trust her? Yuuto isn’t sure. 

He presses his head to the surface of his desk and inhales. The more he thinks, the more confused he feels. He doesn’t even have the energy to think today.

“Hey.”

Yuuto doesn’t look up; he knows it’s Yuugo because his voice is still pitched high like a toddler’s. Yuugo is also the only student who doesn’t seem to know how to read body language. Doesn’t Yuuto being clammed up and silent mean that he doesn’t want to be bothered?

“Hey,” Yuugo says again. “We’re going out for pancakes tonight – Yuuri’s treating us! You should come along.”

Quietly, Yuuto sniffs. He feels unshed tears on his tears. As inconspicuous as he can be, he wipes them away with his fingers and glances up. Yuugo’s face is no more than a couple inches away, beaming down at him. Yuugo’s bangs have gotten longer, sweeping along his round face. He looks a bit like Yuuya in that moment, grinning down at Yuuto and telling him ‘here’s a solution – take it.’

Yuuto stiffens. Yuuya is  _ gone.  _ Yuuya is  _ no more. _

“I’m not really hungry …” he says, glancing out the window. “You go on without me.”

“Why not?” Yuugo crosses his arms, huffing. “What great and wonderful plans do you have already booked? As far as I know, you just go home by yourself.” He leans further over the desk. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”

“I said no.” Yuuto pushes himself from the chair and reaches down to grab his bag. He needs to go home, needs to be somewhere else where he can break down and not worrying about anyone seeing him. The last place he wants to be is with Yuugo and Yuuri. 

Before Yuuto can step away, Yuugo reaches out and grabs Yuuto’s arm. He holds it tight in his fist. “Hey.”

“Let go.”

Yuugo doesn’t budge. “I bought too much candy. You need to help me eat all that.”

It’s a pitiful excuse only Yuugo would use to make Yuuto stay. With a groan, Yuuto yanks his arm free. “Enough.”

Again, Yuugo doesn’t move. This time though, he stares right at Yuuto, forcing them to make eye contact. “Hey, Yuuto. Is this about Yuuya? Right?”

“Yu …” Yuuto steps back. “It’s nothing –”

“You miss him –”

“I –”

“We’re friends, aren’t we? I’m not just friends with Yuuya, and I don’t think you are either. I’m your friend too, aren’t I?” Yuugo shrugs. “I guess if you really don’t want to be with us, then you’re free to go … but it would be nice to hang out with you. I’m serious.”

Sincere words don’t come out of Yuugo’s mouth easily  _ or  _ often. He drops his hand and lets it hang and swing at his side. Across from him, Yuuto lets the silence wash over them. It’s true he hasn’t spent much time with them since Yuuya’s accident. First he was at the hospital every day, and now he’s alternating time slots with Reira. When was the last time he visited the secret base with Yuugo, Yuuri, and Rin? When was the last time he walked home with his friends? He’s been by Yuuya’s side … but he’s neglected those who are still with him.

Yuuto swallows.  _ The friends I have … they are important to me too. _

“Fine.”

Yuugo raises an eyebrow, but a cheeky smile flits over his lips. “You’ll come?”

“Yes.” Yuuto nods. “I … haven’t seen everyone for a while.”

Yuugo leaps into the air, cheering loudly so that the whole classroom can hear him. “All right! You’re the last one to be invited – even Reira is coming too! All of us are gonna go out to eat, and then maybe we’ll go back to my place or something. Who knows.” He bounces back and forth on his heels, unable to keep still from the energy that seems to flow out of him. “I’m glad you can come, Yuuto.”

Cheeks darkening, Yuuto hikes his backpack up on his shoulder. “Let’s go get the others.”

He and Yuugo head out of the classroom and down the hallway. Most students have already slipped on their outdoor shoes and winter clothing, so this time Yuuto doesn’t need to fight for his spot at his locker. He pulls out his winter gear and then clambers outside. Waiting for him and Yuugo on the steps is Yuuri, Rin, and Reira. They all wave to him when they see him.

“You finally got him to come?” Yuuri says, rolling the words off his tongue. “I’m impressed, Yuugo.”

Yuuto chuckles. “Well, Yuugo did bribe me … and it’ll be good to hang out with everyone.”

He spots Reira’s eyes on him, but she doesn’t say anything more.

Once they’re all gathered, they head out as a group through the school gates and onto the main road. Rin leads the way; she knows the city like the back of her hand. Her sense of direction is better than anyone’s. Despite growing up in this town, Yuuto doesn’t know his way around. He knows how to get to his house and to the elementary school, and now he know the way to the hospital; yet beyond that Yuuto feels the world is too vast for him to memorise. 

The streets begin to look familiar when they head into town. There are shops all around that Yuuto has never seen before. He must pass these shops every day on his way to the hospital, but on those trips he has one destination and he never stops to lollygag. Today, Yuuto gives himself the chance to glance around at the city. He’s in middle school now – he could hang out in town, spend his weekends at the mall if he so chose to.

Yuuto glances to his side. Reira walks in line with him, also gazing around at the shops and cafes they pass by. Reira has been going to the hospital too. Does she see these sights when she travels, or is her mind focused only on Yuuya?

The pancake shop Rin brings them to is the kind of place with big, bubbly kanji letters at the entrance and a colourful doorway leading into a cafe. There are little round tables encircled by bar stools. A server passes by them carrying a tray on which three plates of thick, fluffy pancakes lay dripping with syrup and doused in cream. Yuuto’s mouth waters at the sight of them, though he keeps his lips closed tight while they find their seats and wait for the server to come around with menus.

“You ever been here before?” Rin asks them. 

Yuugo nods.

“Besides you,” Rin says, reaching over to bonk him on the head. “Remember, I’m the one who took you here.”

“Well you didn’t say that!”

Yuuri, Yuuto, and Reira all giggle. A while back Yuuya treated them to crepes, but that was at a food stall, and they walked home after that. Yuuya would have loved to be at a pancake shop.

The server distributes the menus to them, and leaves them to decide.

Everything on the menu looks like something Yuuya would have loved: thick pancakes, dozens of toppings, fluffy cream to go on every dish. The pancakes are shaped in the designs of characters or even as fruit; across the table, Yuugo shows Rin the banana-shaped pancakes topped with yellow cream. Yuuto can’t decide what he wants though. Every time he looks down at the menu, a wave of depression washes over him. He’s not even hungry. He shouldn’t be here. What was he thinking?

“Can’t decide,” Reira whispers to him.

Yuuto stiffens, then relaxes. “No.”

Reaching over to his menu, Reira taps his fingers on a picture of red and green festive pancakes, topped with cream in the shape of holly and with slices of strawberries and melon. “These ones look good, don’t they? Let’s split it.”

“I’m not that hungry though …”

“Me neither,” Reira says, voice unwavering, “so let’s split it.”

Yuuto nods. Reira must sense what is wrong with him. Maybe Reira even feels the same way; Yuuto’s too drowned in his own sadness and worry to know if anyone else around the table feels terrible too. Yuugo and Rin seem the least affected. They’re laughing and smiling, sharing a menu together and pointing out all the weird and delicious toppings that can be put on the pancakes. 

As the odd one out, Yuuri peers over his menu and watches them debate. When he sees Yuuto though, he smirks. “Hey, come with me.”

“Huh?”

“I said, come with me. Just for a second.” Yuuri looks around the table, daring anyone to speak up. “We’ll be back.”

Wordlessly, Yuuto gets up out of his seat and follows Yuuri out of the restaurant. He keeps his hands in his pockets and his expression neutral, until he gets out of the cafe and he can no longer keep up the act. He slumps forward. What does Yuuri want anyways? Yuugo has already dragged him out here; the least anyone can do is let him mope in peace.

That won’t happen though. 

Yuuri spins on his heels, folding his arms in front of his chest. “Why’d you come if you were gonna feel so badly about it?”

“It’s pretty hard to say no to Yuugo,” Yuuto says. He attempts a shrug, but it’s so pitiful it only succeeds in dragging his soul closer to the ground. “Maybe I’ll go home afterwards.”

“What if we all went to see Yuuya?”

“Huh?”

“That’s what you want, right? To be with Yuuya? You and Reira both look so glum at the table that it’s depressing to watch. It’s obvious neither of you wanted to come out when you’re so attached to being there for Yuuya. I guess it’s easier for me, and for Yuugo and Rin, because we weren’t as close to him. 

“But that doesn't mean we don’t miss him. At least …” Yuuri stumbles over the words. In the hazy light of the sunset, Yuuri’s purple hair sparkles. He’s grown older, long lashes and plump lips and soft edges to his face that’s always pulled in a scowl. “I bet you want to see him, and I bet all of us do too. After dinner, go tell Rin we should go to the hospital. She’s the leader, but she’ll listen to you.”

Yuuto nods. Softly, he sniffles into his hand. “Do you miss Yuuya too?”

“Fucking course.”

“I thought so.” Yuuto inclines his head back towards the door. He can hear Yuugo and Rin giggling over something; through the window, he spots Reira sitting across from them, listening keenly to the conversation. “Let’s go back in. Let’s save some food for Yuuya and Yoko too.”

“Whatever.”

When Yuuto steps through the doorway again, his heart feels a bit lighter – not much, for he pushes around the food on his plate and ends up saving most of it to give to Yoko. They arrange a little bit from each of their meals in a carry-out box for Yoko. It’s all the different flavours of pancakes. Thankfully, no one ordered anything too bizarre. They then bring the box with them, tucked under Reira’s arm, to the hospital.

Rin leads the way once more. This time though, Yuuto stands right next to her, and Reira on her other side. Yuuto has been to the hospital many, many times. He knows the path through the city, and he knows the hallways to take and the elevator buttons to press. His mind moves on autopilot, and he doesn’t realise where his feet have taken him until he hears Rin say, “What a boring looking door.”

“It’s not like Yuuya can decorate it,” Yuuri says, shutting them all up for a moment.

Rin is right though. Yuuya’s door only has his name on it. It feels out-of-touch with anything Yuuya would have wanted. If Yuuya had decorated his room, it would have been brighter, filled with every colour of the rainbow. He would have put pictures on the door and on the walls. He would have books and games in his room too, and soft blankets for everyone to cuddle up with. 

“We should decorate it then,” Reira says. “Pictures. Cards. Messages. Anything.”

Yuuto nods. “Here, we shouldn’t linger outside in the hallway …” He pushes open the door for them.

This isn’t the first time Yuuto has seen the inside of the hospital room, so he’s the first to step through. Reira follows him. The others though, none of them have seen Yuuya before. This will be their first time seeing him after the accident. Yuuto remembers feeling sick to his stomach even before he saw Yuuya bandaged and lying in the stretcher. Yuuya’s frail body still makes him sick. The sounds of the machines set his teeth on edge. Today, Yuuya is lying on his side, head tilted towards them. He looks peaceful, though through the bandages and mask all Yuuto can see are Yuuya’s closed eyes.

Sitting by the bed is Yoko. She smiles tiredly at them, beckoning them closer with a thin hand. They hustle into the room, all coming to stand around the bed. Reira presents the snacks to Yoko, bowing low to her. In turn, they all bow. 

“You all came,” Yoko says. “There aren’t enough seats, but –”

“It’s fine,” Yuuto says. “We all just wanted to see you and Yuuya.”

Yoko’s eyes drift to her comatose son. She smiles though, warm and happy. “He just came back from the bath. His hair is getting longer, so I’ll need to clip it soon. He’s healing well though – at least externally. The bandages on his head are just for monitoring his brain waves; there’s equipment hidden underneath.” She scooches closer to them, and takes her son’s hand in her own. “He won’t respond to you, but you can talk to him. When he wakes up, he might remember what you say … not the words, but the feelings of them. Even in this state, Yuuya might understand you.”

One by one, they speak to Yuuya then. The words ebb over him like waves of sadness and loneliness. Everyone has something different to tell Yuuya about: school, weather, friendships, homework. Yuugo tells Yuuya that he has to wake up before they finish middle school since Yuugo is going to go to technical high school with Rin. He wants to become a mechanic. Yuuri says that even if Yuuya never goes to school he’ll still be smarter than Yuugo. Rin tells Yuuya about the field trips they’ll go on and about the secret base.

“Secret base?” Yoko remarks. “Is that where Yuuya was always hiding at?”

“Sometimes, yeah,” Reira says. “He … took me there too. It was a special place –”

“Yuugo found it, actually.” Yuuto surprises himself with the words, “It was Yuugo and Yuuri who took me to that place first, and then I took Yuuya … and he took you. It’s been our special place to share with friends.”

Yuuri nods. “Yuuto may think he can claim all the credit because we follow him, but yeah … Yuugo and I found it first. It’s one of the best places to watch the river, and to look across the water and see the hills on the other side. Over time, the hideout became more and more like ‘us’ though because we filled it with stuff –”

“Which is why,” Yuugo interrupts, “we should fill up this room with stuff that belongs with us. Yuuya should know that his friends are nearby him, forever and always. He never forgot about us, and we’ll never forget about him.”

“With your permission of course,” Rin says. “Mrs. Sakaki … Yoko … please let us decorate the room for Yuuya. It’s the least we can do for him.”

Yoko claps her hands together. She looks blessed to be around them.

“I think that’s a lovely idea. When Yuuya wakes up, I’m certain he’ll want to know what everyone has been up to. You all can come by and tell him about your days – Yuuya’s listening.” She brushes Yuuya’s cheek with her fingers, pushing up the corner of his mouth; it looks like the kind of smile Yuuya might give over his shoulder, a gentle grin. 

“Yuuya cared about his friends and family more than anything else.”


	47. Chapter 47

_ I want Yuuya to be happy. _

_ I want Yuuya to be avenged. _

_ Yuuya … I’ll find the killer you searched for. That’s who killed you, right? The killer who targeted the lonely children? You knew back then; you believed in the mystery. You were certain it would happen in Heartland City, and you were right: someone was after lonely children. You saved them all though, but it cost you your life. Now though, I’ll find out who went after you.  _

Yuuto peeks around the corner. He’s in the upstairs of his house, where all the bedrooms are. At the end of the hallway though is his father’s office and study area, the one place in the entire house that Yuuto is not allowed into. Normally, his father is in his office; when he’s at work, the door is firmly locked. Yuuto has never even been  _ inside  _ the room, and the most he knows of the area is that it has brown wallpaper and a desk in the middle of the area.

Today though is a different day. His father came home after work with young man. The stranger’s grey hair belies the youthfulness of his face. He has thick glasses that perch on his round nose, and a green scarf tied tight around his slim neck. He greeted the family at the door. Now though he follows Yuuto’s father out of the study and down the stairs. Hiding just around the bend, Yuuto can hear their conversation. 

“Have you learnt anything further about the case in City?”

“Oh no,” the stranger says, “but I hope that new evidence soon presents itself, as terrible as that sounds.”

“I’m as hungry for more info as you are, Durbe. We seem to be in the same boat, stuck at a standstill until something new presents itself. It’s terrible to wish ill on anyone, but unless new information appears, we’ll lose this case too.”

Yuuto hears them begin to descend downstairs to where his mother has prepared tea and biscuits for them. 

“Maybe hope will come to us,” Durbe stays. “Have hope, right?”

Yuuto’s father chuckles. “Sure, if that’s what you believe.”

_ Have hope. Who … used to say that? _

Yuuto scurries across the hallway and to the study room door. He grabs the handle and twists it open. Carefully, he peeks inside. His father will be downstairs with Durbe now; unless he makes a racket in here, Yuuto won’t get caught. Still he holds his breath in the doorway and peeks inside.

His father’s study is the sort of gentlemanly place all decorated with wooden accents: a wood desk in the middle of the room, oak chairs around it, and a tall bookcase in the corner. There’s a sitting area in the study made up of two antique-looking chairs around a small, oval-shaped coffee table. On one end of the room are filing cabinets and drawers – at least six of them, all lined up together in a row. 

_ That would be the first place to check,  _ thinks Yuuto. 

The first two cabinets he tries have nothing but case files from before Yuuto was born. Further down the row though are more recent cases held in file folders with all the clues and details of the reported kidnappings and killings. Yuuto’s father works with criminals charged with kidnapping and murder. It makes him a rather unapproachable person, which is why seeing Durbe in the house is such a surprise. Durbe must be a co-worker of some kind.

The third and fourth cabinets prove useless. His father has organised all of his work, but Yuuto doesn’t see any clues. There are dozen of kidnappings his father has covered, all throughout the dimensional cities. Kidnappings … many of them of elementary school girls? This must be a trend then.

But Yuuya … was a boy? Was he the first boy killed? Every folder Yuuto leafs through is of female kidnappings.

_ Yuuya was worried about Yuuri though. He was protective of Yuuri at the same time he was protective of Reira and Rin. Yuuri’s a boy though, so maybe he thought the killer didn’t have preferences. Then again though, if the killer didn’t know Yuuri, he might’ve misgendered him and killed him. Yuuya might have thought of that. But then Yuuya wouldn’t have been misgendered, no way. _

_ That means Yuuya was killed for something else, right? What has Yuuya done? He … _

_ He was looking for the killer. _

Yuuto slams the drawer closed. The fifth cabinet has more recent files, such as the recent City killing of Amanda by Crow Hogan. 

_ Yuuya, you had clues, didn’t you? You  _ knew  _ the killer would come to Heartland City, and you kept everyone but yourself safe. That’s why you died – _

“Yuuto.”

His name freezes him and makes his blood run cold. With just a glance over his shoulder, Yuuto spots his father standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing in here?”

“I … was just about to leave,” Yuuto says. He closes the cabinet drawer and turns around. He keeps his hands at his sides, to show that he hasn’t stolen anything. His fingers shake; his brain feels fuzzy. If he’s caught, what will his father say? What will his father  _ do?  _ Where’s Durbe? Has he gone home? Yuuto should have had more time to explore before his father came looking after him.

“What are you doing?” his father repeats.

Yuuto never lies to his father. He holds his head up high, ignoring the shaking of his bones. “I’m curious about the incidents that happened in City … and what happened to Yuuya.”

His father’s lips pull down in a tight frown. “Out,” he says, motioning to the door. “I have guests, and you have homework. Back to your room.”

Yuuto nods, bowing his head. “I’m sorry, Father.”

“We will talk about this later.”

Yuuto’s ears prick at the word. Later? How later? Does that mean his father will tell him about what happened in City and in Heartland City? Will his father share case details with him? Yuuto can stomach hearing about what happened in both murder cases. He needs to know what happened to Amanda, and what happened to Yuuya. What did the killer do? Who will he go after next? 

“Yuuto, out.”

With a quick bow, Yuuto hurries out of the study and back into his room. He doesn't look over his shoulder, but he pauses in the doorway and listens to his father descend down the stairs. He hears the apology – “Sorry about that, Durbe, just needed to get the files for you. Would you like some more tea?” – and then Yuuto slams the door closed. 

The door across the hallway. That is his father’s door. If Yuuto goes there again, he’ll be in trouble. But his father has not given up on him. His father will tell him, someday, about the kidnappings and killings.

Yuuto perches on the bed and waits. If later means next week, he will wait. But he’s restless, his mind clawing at itself for more information. If his father hadn’t come in, would Yuuto have found a clue? Would he have figured it out? Unlikely since his father has a law degree, and most likely Durbe does too. Yet it doesn’t stop Yuuto from thinking that he’s being left out of an important conversation.

_ I want to find the killer too. _

From his room, he hears the front door close. Then footsteps, steady like the beat of a drum. Yuuto waits patiently until he hears them stop. Under the slit of the doorway he sees a shadow. Next come the knock at the door, two single raps of knuckles against wood that send a shiver down Yuuto’s back. He stiffens and sits upright.

“Yuuto, I’m coming in.”

His father opens the door. His face is stern. His eyes immediately flick towards Yuuto’s desk; his backpack and homework remain on the floor, untouched.

“I thought I told you to study.”

“I have a lot on my mind,” Yuuto says. “It’s hard to concentrate.”

“Your grades cannot slip.” He steps into the room but does not sit. He remains standing in front of Yuuto like a great, impassive statue, disdained expression chiseled into his features. Yuuto does not break his gaze though. No, he remains firm.

“I think there’s a connection … a relevance … between the two incidents. You’ve involved in both of them, I think – the City murder, and Yuuya’s murder. I know you’re involved with the court about Yuuya’s death. You’re trying to find the killer too. I think there are clues in the past incidents though, maybe even ones before the City murder.”

His father nods for him to continue.

“I’ll pay for looking into those incidents. I’ll find out as much as I can. It’s important to me … no, not just to me, to everyone who loved and cared about Yuuya. It’s important we find out who put Yuuya in a coma. I want to help find the culprit.”

Glancing up, Yuuto tries to read his father’s expression. What is he thinking? Does he agree?

_ Does my father believe me? Does my father believe  _ in me?

“Go for it.” A pause. “No wonder you’re my child.”

Yuuto heart soars so high that it doesn’t stop leaping and bouncing when his father continues.

“But you are on your own. I have too many other cases to solve. I cannot focus on cold cases that have been closed. The court has already ruled that Crow Hogan killed his daughter Amanda. I cannot save that man. Yuuya’s case will be deemed as an accident. No one will be at guilt. That case, too, will become a cold case.

“If you believe there are clues in these cases, I encourage you to pursue them. Find the truth, if you think it is different from what the court has determined. I believe in you, Yuuto. But be prepared for a fight. Do you have the evidence? The preparation? Are you ready to hunt down a criminal who you believe has targeted many young children? Make sure you are ready. You must not act recklessly.”

Yuuto swallows.  _ On … my own? Who will help me then? Yoko said I should always look for help, so I need – _

“You’re not there yet though.” His father shrugs, and when his shoulders lower the weight seems to crash down on Yuuto’s shoulders, pinning him to the bed. “You are not ready. Do your best, Yuuto. If you manage to solve this case by yourself, I won’t have anything useful to say.”

Gravity pushes him further into the bed. Yuuto can barely keep his head up. He peeks around his father to the locked study room. 

* * *

After class, Yuuto scoops up his belongings and packs them into his bag. He already has several books tucked away that make his bag a heavy load to truck back and forth from school, but he needs them all. While everyone else packs up and chats about their after school plans or what sweets shop they’re going to, Yuuto is ready to head out to cram school. He doesn’t have time to dawdle.

Right in front of him, Reira lets him go about his way. She’s off to visit Yuuya at the hospital, just like she always does. The two of them exchange glances. Reira doesn’t know he’s attending cram school, but Yuuto supposes she appreciates the opportunity to hang around Yuuya more. To his knowledge, Reira never joined any clubs. Yuuto didn’t either; he has studying to do.

Outside of the classroom though, Yuuto doesn’t make it more than two steps before someone jumps him with a headlock. Yuuto tumbles forward, throwing his arms out in case he and Yuugo – for it can be no one else – fall to the ground. Thankfully, Yuugo rights himself up and drags Yuuto up with him.

“Where’re you running off to, Yuuto? Come help fundraise.”

Right. The fundraising.

Just behind Yuugo stand Yuuri, Rin, and Serena. Ever since Serena proposed they fundraise to pay for Yuuya’s medical bills, they’ve all been going to shops or standing outside of the school asking for donations. The first couple of days Yuuto joined them, but now he has cram school every day, and on his free weekends he studies.

Yuuto pulls away with a frown. “Sorry, everyone, but I’m busy today.”

“But you’re  _ always  _ busy,” Yuugo says.

“You thought this was a good idea too,” Yuuri says.

Rin nods. “Just for one day, Yuuto. We’d really appreciate the help.”

Only Serena seems turned-off by guilt-tripping him into joining. “Where are you going anyways?” she asks.

“Cram school.”

She doesn’t miss a beat. “For?”

Yuuto feels a lump grow in his throat. He’s been distancing himself from his friends ever since he started going to cram school. This mission of his has been on his mind that he’s forgotten about anything else. It’s taken up so much of his time, and he’s only just begun. 

“I’m … studying to become a lawyer. I want to be like my dad when I grow up. I think, back in elementary school, I was just joking about this dream, at least to Yuuya I was. But I’m serious now. I want to be a lawyer and find the killer who targeted Yuuya and the other kidnappings in the dimensional cities.”

He stuns them all for a moment.

“Why’ve you got to study in middle school then?” Yuugo says. “University is  _ ages  _ away.”

Yuuto nods. “I want to get into Maiami High School. It’s a prestigious high school that could get me into MaiamiU, where I could go on to become a lawyer with a recognised degree. Besides, there are more opportunities for lawyers in bigger cities. I have to study for the entrance exam though. I only have one chance to get in, so I can’t fail.”

Yuuri chuckles. “You think you’ll fail? You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for, Yuuto.”

“You’ll get in,” Serena says. “I know it.”

“Thanks, everyone. That’s why …” Yuuto clears his throat. “That’s why I can’t fundraise for you. What you’re doing is invaluable, but I’m going to help Yuuya in my own way. You take care of him, and I’ll make sure that his injuries are avenged. Reira will take care of Yuuya too while he’s in the hospital. We’ll all watch over him and care for him in our own way.”

“You sound like the old Yuuto,” Yuugo says. “I like that friend.”

His cheeks burn. “I’m glad. This is what I want to do. This is how I’ll help Yuugo.”

A hand darts out to push him forward – Rin, giving him a big thumbs-up and a beaming smile. “Well don’t let us keep you then. Go on, off to cram school! Have fun!”

Her words startle him, and he nearly trips over his feet backpedaling towards the door. Rin keeps waving at him. She may be the newest, but she’s a natural leader. Yuugo waves at him too; Serena and Yuuri smile, tight-lipped but still genuine. Yuuto feels his face grow hotter when he sees his friends smiling and waving at him. 

“Thank you, everyone. I’ll tell you when I pass the exam.”

“What are you talking about?” Yuuri says. “Of course you’ll pass.”


	48. Chapter 48

_ _

_ I passed my exams today. _

_ I knew I could. I’m special. But I also know I’m not perfect. I make mistakes sometimes. I mess up. I’m glad that today though I didn’t mess up. I’m glad that I kept trying.  _

_ Yuuya, you are my hope. You are who has pushed me to become a lawyer. Not just your injury of course – that would be pretty terrible for a friend to say. No, it’s your desire for justice. You wanted justice too. Back then, you called yourself an ally of justice. You listened to the Odd Eyes Magician theme song on repeat. You loved heroes. I bet you even thought of yourself as one. _

_ Yuuya, you’re my hero. I’m becoming a lawyer so I can save you. You wanted to help all those children back then. I don’t know if you knew it, but there could be dozens of cases before yours and Amanda’s that were closed. I don’t think yours is closed though, nor is anyone else’s. There is a killer out there, just like you believed. That killer tried to stop you. _

_ He won’t stop me though. I  _ will  _ find your attacker, Yuuya. I will find the serial kidnapper and killer. _

_ I’m going on to Maiami City – that’s where you’re in the hospital right now. The others, including Reira, all know that. They might be a bit jealous of me, but I bet when they’re done school they’ll move out to be with you too. They just have to wait a bit longer.  _

_ Have hope, Yuuya.  _

_ I will save you, just like you saved me. _

* * *

Yuuto comes back at the end of high school. He stands at the doorway to his house. It looks the same as it always did, maybe a bit brighter because spring has sprung and the grass has sprouted from the ground. The sky is clear and blue overhead, with the sun warm on Yuuto’s shoulders and cheeks.

The door opens and his mother embraces him tightly, burying her face into the space between his neck and shoulder. She’s wearing her plain clothes, a dish towel still in her hands. “Yuuto, welcome back!” she says. He feels wetness on his shirt from her salty tears. “It’s so good to see you again.”

He returns the gesture, but before he has a chance to let go someone else hugs him – lower, around his leg, and rubbing her face into his side.

“Welcome back, big brother!”

Ruri. She’s grown quite a bit; her hair has gotten longer and her bangs have grown in. She still retains her baby-shaped face and large, ruby eyes that glisten up at him. Yuuto struggles to remember how old she is … eight? Old enough to go to school now, he supposes. He’s been gone for three years and hasn’t kept in touch with his family.

“Come on in, come on in!” his mother says. She takes Ruri by the shoulders and wheels her back into the house. Yuuto follows in after them, dragging in his suitcase. He leaves it at the entryway and kicks off his shoes. Just like when he left, his childhood home looks the same – living room, kitchen, stairs leading up to the bedrooms. It’s the same house Yuuto has always known and loved.

His mother comes around fretting him to take a seat while she makes tea and snacks. It’s then Yuuto notices his father at the living room table, reading a newspaper. He nods to Yuuto when they make eye contact, but that’s the end of their gestures.

“Tell me about school!” Ruri pleads to him. “I’ll tell you about my school if you tell me about your big school.”

From the kitchen, his mother adds, “Tell us how you passed your final exam.”

Yuuto laughs. “There isn’t much to tell, Mom. I passed the final exam of Maiami High, and I passed the entrance exam into MaiamiU’s department of law. I’ll be studying to become a lawyer at the dimension’s best law school. That’s it though.” Yuuto shrugs. 

“Congratulations,” she says. “We are all so, so proud of you, Yuuto. You’ve worked hard for this.”

At his legs, Ruri says to him, “Does that mean you’ll go away again? Will you ever come back?”

Yuuto chews on his lip, and then kneels down to her. “I’ll leave again, Ruri. I have to keep going to school.”

“I’ll miss you.”

He hugs her tightly, resting his nose in the waves of his violet hair. “I will too. I’ve missed everyone that I haven’t seen since I left.”

In the doorway, his mother says, “But you did the right thing, didn’t you? I’m glad you’re going to school to become a lawyer. Now, why don’t you put your things away? By the time you come downstairs, dinner will be ready. Let’s eat together now that we’re all home and under the same roof.”

He nods. Up the stairs he goes, dragging the suitcase after him. He’s brought back a lot of clothes and books which he’ll take with him to university. Honestly, he doesn’t need to unpack. However, once he has his suitcase put in the spare room, Yuuto doubles back and stares at the door at the end of the hallway. 

The study room door. It has been closed ever since the conversation with his father. Yuuto never felt ready to try opening it again, and when he left for high school he tried to forget. Now though, he’s studied his hardest to get into university. He’s going to become a lawyer. He’s already come so far, and just beyond that door are the case files his father has meticulously collected. There’s evidence in there that will satiate Yuuto’s thirst for revenge.

He hurries to the door and grabs the handle. He does not twist though. A choking feeling makes his hands clench up and his muscles spasm. Is he ready to know what’s beyond that door? Will his father kick him out?

Yuuto takes a breath – 

_ I have one last chance to be in this house. I have one last chance to find the clues. _

_ Believe in me. _

– and twists the handle.

It’s … unlocked. The door swings open to the same room he snuck into all those years ago, back when he was in middle school and desperate to help Yuuya in whatever way he could. All these years, has the door been unlocked? 

_ When did you start trusting me, Father? Did you know I would become a lawyer? Did you know I would keep my promise? Did you know that I learnt to believe in myself from the kind boy in my class? _

He crosses the room and steps up to the fifth filing cabinet. Inside the drawers are dozens of files, neatly arranged with names and dates on the top. This time Yuuto spots Amanda and Yuuya’s files – they’re right next to each other, right at the front. There are files after theirs though, also kidnappings and murders of young children. Yuuto snatches them up and brings them to the desk.

The first file he opens is Yuuya’s. It’s the file he’s only imagined he’d ever get a chance to see. The first piece of evidence in the folder are the photos – shots of the bridge the car fell from, of the cold river the car was pulled from, shots of Yuuya’s hypothermic body when it was taken out of the water. There are even shots of the car that Yuuya was found in.

_ An old car … _

_ It’s familiar. I’ve seen a car like this before – lots of them, actually. This isn’t a popular model of car, but I’ve seen ones like it before. Where have I … _

_ There was a car like this in Heartland City, on that day we went to spy on Rin. I remember because that car was so old and stood out.  _

_ That’s right, Yuuya. You were kidnapped by the driver of this car. Something happened … how did you get into that car? Were you tossed inside? Or did you go in willingly? Whose car would you get into that you trusted? _

_ His car … right? _

Yuuto holds up the photo. One time, Yuuya went with Mr. Heartland to deliver papers to his classmates. Yuuto never went that day, but he remembers seeing Yuuya in the passenger seat of Mr. Heartland’s car. His teacher drove an old car just like this, only it was a different colour. Same model though.

A lump forms in his throat, one that Yuuto can’t swallow down. 

_ After our class graduated, Mr. Heartland left the school. He moved away … somewhere. I don’t think he ever told us where he was going. It wasn’t until after graduation though. The spring of 1990, when we were in junior high. _

Yuuto closes his eyes. Why did Heartland move? What happened around that time?

_ That’s when Yuuya and Yoko moved to Maiami City for better hospital treatment. _

_ That’s not a coincidence.  _ Yuuto repeats the words over and over again in his head. It’s not a coincidence that his teacher was around Yuuya quite a bit. Heartland drove Yuuya home twice; if Yuuya got in the car with an adult, it would have been someone he trusted like a teacher. Heartland would have found a way out of the murder. He would have been spared.

Now Heartland can walk free. Heartland may have moved to Maiami City to go after Yuuya.

Yuuto snatches up the pictures of Yuuya and Amanda. 

_ Heartland, you sick fuck. Did you kill them? Did you take away their hopes and dreams? Amanda and her father were  _ fine  _ without you. I don’t know them, you’re right – but my father fought in the court for them. Crow pleaded guilty. He would have never hurt his daughter, and yet you found an opportunity. _

_ You didn’t take Yuuya from us though. He’s alive. That’s why you’ve disappeared, haven’t you? Are you scared that Yuuya will wake up and tell us that you kidnapped him? Are you scared of Yuuya? Well you better be. You better be damn afraid of him.  _

_ But you should be even more afraid of me. I’ll be a phantom lurking in the shadows. I’m coming after you too. I’ll find you and drag you into that jail cell to rot in hell. _

The paper crinkles in his hands, creating a blistering noise in his ears.

_ You will not go free from this. Your crimes will be put on trial, and Yuuya and I  _ will  _ stop you. _

“Yuuto.”

He glances up, abashed and confused and suddenly aware that he has been glaring daggers at the table. His mother, father, and sister all stand in the doorway, an expression of surprise on each of their faces. Yuuto worries that he might have been thinking too hard about this. What kind of expression was he making?

And then his father smiles – small, coy almost. He stretches out his hand, palm up. Inside, Yuuto spots a small, white envelope with his name written on it. 

Yuuto swallows.  _ What … are you giving me, Father? _

“Come and take it.” His father bounces the envelope. “Here.”

Hurriedly, Yuuto crosses the room and takes it with both hands. Then he tears it open and pulls out the sheet of paper inside. It’s a folded up note, inside which is a statement from a bank. Yuuto has never seen this bank before, even though his name is on the paper. There’s money inside this account too, enough to cover –

“For tuition and books. You want to go to law school, correct? This will get you there.” His father claps him on the shoulder, grinning. “Congratulations, Yuuto. You are on your way to becoming a lawyer.”

From behind his father comes Ruri to hug him. “Congratulations!” she says. 

Yuuto kneels down to hug her. He glances up at his father, and tells him, “Thank you.”

“Will that cover all the fees?” 

Yuuto nods. “I’ll get a part-time job to pay for boarding, but what you’ve given me is more than enough to get me through school. Honestly, I’m thankful.”

His father frowns though. He looks over his shoulder at his wife, at Yuuto’s mother, and motions for her to step forward. Yuuto raises an eyebrow at the envelope his mother presents to him. Unlike his father, his mother does not work and stays home. She doesn’t make any money. However, Yuuto thanks her and takes the card. He peels open the top and peeks inside.

“Another … bank account?” Yuuto looks up at her, ready to ask where she got this money and how she could afford to give him so much, when he spots the ratty clothes his mother wears and her plain look. She has a face that would blend into a crowd, and she looks so drab in his father’s study space. Yet his mother also has a glow to her. His mother never asked for nice things or expected fancy presents. His mother has always been there for him …

_ My mother made sacrifices for me too. My mother … is not like Yoko. They are not equals. But today I think I know why my mom is the way she is. _

Yuuto stands, but before he can do much more two arms wrap around him and tug him close. He smells his mother’s shampoo and feels her soft hair against his cheek. She whispers in his ear: “If you have time for a part-time job, you have time to do what you want. Use this money to pay for rent. Please, Yuuto, enjoy your present.”


	49. Chapter 49

_ _

_ Yuuya, I’m going to school near you. I’ll come visit you in the hospital for a bit, but then I’ll leave again to find the killer. I think you know that. Yoko does. She doesn’t have any money to give me, but her support – alongside the money my parents gave me – is what is helping me get through school.  _

_ It was 2003 when I said goodbye to you. You still hadn’t woken up, even though it had been 13 years. You were living at home then, no longer in a stuffy, sterilised hospital room; instead, you slept in a comfy bed, still surrounded by medical equipment, but with painted walls and homey decorations. You looked at peace when I left you. _

_ You probably won’t remember what I said to you before I left, but I hope you’ll listen to my words once more. I told you that neither of us were alone anymore. Back in school, you were so lonely and desperate for friends. That’s why you never seemed like yourself. You always wore a mask.  _

_ I was pretty lonely too.  _

_ When you fell into a coma, I felt a bit sad and lost. I was lonely without you, and I imagine, deep within your mind, you were lonely too. _

_ But we weren't alone. _

_ There’s something magical about you, Yuuya. You brought all of us – you and me, Reira, Yuugo and Yuuri, Serena and Rin – together. You made sure no one went missing, no one was alone. You were so selfless in that goal that it backfired and hurt you of all people. But despite all that, I want you to know that no one left your side. Every one of our friends still asks after you. Serena and Rin are still organising fundraisers to pay for the medical equipment Yoko rents from the hospital. No one ever gave up, Yuuya. _

_ That’s the power of your friendship with us.  _

_ You are so kind, Yuuya. It’s because of you that we are all alive and well today. When I look around me, there are friends and family who love me. I think back to our elementary school days with feelings of love. I wonder what my life would be like without you, if you hadn’t reached out to all of us. Where would we be without you? I don’t want to know the answer. _

_ I’m finishing university this semester. I’ll keep looking for the killer. Some of the cases he committed in the past have reached the deadline for filing for a lawsuit. That won’t stop me though. He’s still out there.  _

_ Please believe in me, Yuuya. I’ll see you when you wake up. _

* * *

Through the rain pelting him on the head, Yuuto stands at the entrance to a great, historic mansion. There’s a wall at least nine feet high that separates him from the land. Yuuto glances left and right down the street, looking for anyone nearby. How do you get into a house barricaded by a thick, stone wall? There’s not even a doorbell.

This is the house he needs to be in though. The sign on the wall reads “Durbe”. He was a Heartland City reporter at the time, but now he’s a freelance reporter within Maiami City. Yuuto thinks fate led both him and Durbe back into the same cities. The memory of Durbe with his father is still fresh in his mind.

_ If anyone would know about the kidnappings, it would be him. _

Yuuto bows his head. Already the City case has expired. Yuuto has no chance of saving Crow. However, Yuuya’s case has not expired. If Yuuto can find evidence, he can file a lawsuit. He needs help though. Being in school has given him wisdom, but he has no clues. Durbe though … Durbe lived through these kidnappings. He must have information and case files that can help Yuuto.

“Hey.”

Over his shoulder, Yuuto spots Durbe under a wide, black umbrella. He holds it out a bit, inviting Yuuto to step inside. When the rain is finally off his head and shoulders, Yuuto sinks down a bit, letting his weary body hang.

“You’re that Kamishiro boy, aren’t you? The son of the lawyer?”

Yuuto grimaces. “I’m a lawyer too now.” 

Durbe just chuckles. “Sure. You were looking for me, weren’t you?”

The way he says it makes Yuuto clench his teeth. The rain seeps through his clothes and deep into his achy bones. It’s gotten colder, like someone has turned off the heat in the city and let the rain freeze people into ice sculptures. Yuuto rubs his wet hands up and down his arms, creating some friction that will keep away the worst of the chill.

Again, Durbe chuckles. “You’re freezing, aren’t you? Why don’t you come inside? I bet that’s what you wanted anyways.”

However, Durbe doesn’t open the door to his home. Instead, he turns and begins walking towards the road; the end of his umbrella bumps into Yuuto’s shoulder and forces him to walk alongside Durbe. Yuuto opens his mouth to ask where they’re going, but he promptly closes it when he sees Durbe’s stern, resolute face. Perhaps it’s best if he just watches and sees. Yuuto has been a bit impatient in recent days, eager to accomplish something.

They walk side by side through the rain, stomping through puddles and huddling under the single, black umbrella. The sky is ashen grey over their weary heads, setting such a sombre mood that when Yuuto steps into the office building he appreciates the sparks of blue and green along the walls. He hadn’t checked where Durbe had taken him, too excited to just get out of the rainy weather.

“Where is this?” Yuuto asks. 

“My office,” Durbe says. “I thought this might be a better place to chat.” He folds up the umbrella and sets it in a little stand. Then, back to Yuuto: “You must be chilled to the bone, right? Come, let’s head upstairs. I have some spare clothes I can lend you, and I’ll show you where the bathroom is so you can dry off.”

Wearily, Yuuto raises a hand to his face. Thick droplets of water fall from his hair and plip-plop on the ground. A violent shiver passes through his body that threatens to topple him; Durbe comes round to steady him with a hand, and then leads him to an elevator that shoots them up dozens of floors. It opens up to a long hallway of identical doors.

Durbe first takes him to his office. Yuuto gets to peek inside; Durbe’s office appears as plain as the man himself. There’s a desk and office chair, a bookcase and filing cabinet, and … that’s it. No personal touches of any kind. Even Durbe himself looks like a piece of stereotypical furniture in the room.

From under the desk Durbe brings out a stack of folded clothes. “I don’t have a towel, but maybe use the wet clothes to mop up your hair. The bathroom is just at the end of the hallway – do you need help getting there?”

Yuuto shakes his head, still at loss over what has just happened. He’s with Durbe, in his office – this all happened so fast that Yuuto doesn’t know how else to respond. Fortunately, Durbe sets him off with a smile, and Yuuto hurries down the hallway to change. The clothes Durbe gives him end up being a bit small; Yuuto has grown taller, his shoulders broader. They fit though, and Yuuto comes back into the office with his head bowed.

Durbe sits in the chair. Next to him is a stack of folders, looking to be dozens of case files. “Feel better?” Durbe asks.

“… yeah, “ Yuuto answers. He rubs the back of his neck, fingers tickling his damp hair. “Much better.”

“I’m glad.” Durbe folds his hands in front of him, smiling. “Come have a seat. You came to see me about something, didn’t you? That was why you were standing out front of my house in the pouring rain.”

Yuuto still hasn’t come to terms with the fact that he’s here, in Durbe’s office. This man was his father’s friend. This man must know things about the cases, clues that could help Yuuto catch the serial kidnapper.

The words stumble on his tongue though. 

“I’m … I’m a lawyer, looking into the serial kidnappings in City and Heartland City.”

Durbe nods. He rests his chin into a cupped hand, rolling his eyes towards the stack of papers. Yuuto sees the file on the top: Amanda, City, Synchro.

“That incident reached the deadline for filing a lawsuit.”

Yuuto nods. “There were more clues I could have found. I  _ know  _ it. But … I didn’t have the evidence.” He slumps forward, the strings suspending his body straining to keep him upright. “I failed. It’s my fault.”

“Your fault?” The words bounce throughout the tiny office room. “You’re a proud man, Kamishiro –”

“Yuuto.”

“Yuuto then. You do hard work, just like your father. But sometimes cases get away from you. Sometimes you can’t get the answers you seek. But …” Durbe leans forward. His eyes twinkle through the thick frames of his glasses. “This is a killer who’s committed many crimes, and has therefore left many, many clues. There are more opportunities to find him. Don’t you agree?”

“I guess,” Yuuto says. It still sounds hopeless coming from Durbe. This man has been involved in these cases longer than Yuuto has, and  _ he  _ hasn’t found clues.

“What’s the next move?” Durbe asks. “Will you accept your defeat?”

Yuuto shakes his head. “No … no. I haven’t lost yet.”

Durbe grins at him. He looks ready for battle, with a look in his eye that screams mischief. Long ago, Durbe seemed like the waif of a reporter – someone who never took risks. Now though, he looks like a white knight ready to charge into battle. Just like Yuuya, Durbe is an ally of justice. If anyone can help Yuuto, it’s him.

“That’s the spirit. Have hope, right? There will be another chance.”

It’s sounds too optimistic. Yuuto’s lips twist together.

“You don’t think so?” Durbe says, raising a slender eyebrow. Yuuto stumbles over his words, worried that he offended Durbe. But the man just laughs. “I’ve been following this case for a while, and this killer always slips through my fingers. Tasting defeat is like swallowing mud, isn’t it? But like you, I’m not giving up yet. There are always clues. There is always hope.”

A hand reaches out to grasp his – Durbe’s hand, thin with spindly fingers. “Want to catch the killer with me, Yuuto?”

_ I’m inexperienced though,  _ Yuuto thinks. He’s leagues behind what Durbe has been doing. 

But Durbe doesn't let go or pull away. He keeps hold of Yuuto’s hand, smiling the same, warm smile. 

Yuuto can’t argue back. He gives Durbe’s hand a gentle squeeze, and releases his grip. “Sure. It’s very nice to meet you, Durbe.”

* * *

_ I am Kamishiro Yuuto, lawyer, and work partner to Durbe. _

_ In 2003, we began looking into the disappearances of young girls within the dimensional cities. However, there weren’t any more children. No clues. The killer was being too safe. The only clues we had left were from Yuuya’s case, which always felt like a dead end. _

Yuuto peeks over his cup ramen, staring through the thick wisps of smoke coming from the top of the cup. “Are we broke?”

“No,” Durbe says with a laugh. “We’re not clueless either.”

They haven’t found a clue though. Somewhere in the past there must be evidence. Yuuto still thinks it was Mr. Heartland, his and Yuuya’s elementary school teacher; however, they don’t have any evidence to charge him as guilty, and besides, Heartland disappeared after they left the school. Yuuto hasn’t heard anything from his former teacher.

“Maybe we should move,” Durbe says. “Maybe the killer is elsewhere, outside of the dimensional cities and all that.”

Yuuto shakes his head. “He wouldn’t go so far. Besides, there are still cases out there left unsolved – no children, but women. Those could still be him.”

Durbe nods, expression solemn. He takes a deep sip of broth and noodles, and says, “Have hope. There are always choices and decisions to make.”

_ Bing! _

Yuuto glances down at the phone on the table. Its screen glows a gentle blue, signaling that a text message has just been received. The front screen doesn’t show anything more though, so with a slight nod to Durbe, Yuuto snatches up the mobile and flicks it open. On the screen is a message from Yoko:

_ he’s awake. _

Tears bubble into Yuuto’s eyes – not falling, but stilling around his waterline and making his vision blurry. Through the tears, Yuuto can only see murky colours of the figure across from him. He feels a hand in his own, and he smells the salt of the ramen. His ears whistle with sounds, voices, that make his mind go dizzy. 

All that clears though in an instant. Yuuto takes a deep gulp of air and rubs his fingers over his eyes. 

“Durbe … I … please excuse me.” He bows his head. “That day … those choices … it’s closer than we thought.” And before he can add anything further, Yuuto springs up from his seat and dashes out the office. Too flustered to take the elevator, he runs down the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. His heart pounds in his chest. His ears prick on the thrumming of his feet on the steps. Yuuto doesn’t stop moving until he’s outside where the sun can bask on his face and dry his tears.

Yuuto doesn’t stop running. He knows where he needs to go, who he needs to see –

_ It happened. _

_ Yuuya woke up. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so there were supposed to be Yoko chapters after this, but i think i might leave those for later (... also i forgot to write those chapters, oops, and i started another story).
> 
> so next week there will be a brief Yoko section tagged onto the top of the chapter, and then we'll be hearing from Yuuya again!! thank you everyone for your love and sticking with me through this massive fic <33


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there! sorry i missed an update!  
> life has hit me with a load of responsibilities including 9-hour work days with a 1-hour commute each way, so i'm stressed for time. there was supposed to be a full Yoko POV chapter, but i'll save that for another time. in the meantime, let's welcome back Yuuya! i'll post both updates.  
> as for future updates, i'm going to aim for twice-weekly updates, but if i can't i'll be posting on Fridays. thank you for understanding! <3

Yoko scans the last can of tuna. She looks up with a smile stretching across her round face. “Your total is 987 yen, sir.”

The man gives her a handful of coins, which Yoko takes in her cupped hands. She gives back the change, still smiling. Her hips bump into the corners of her register station; she steadies herself with a hand on the counter, but doesn’t break eye contact with the customer until he’s begun to walk away. Then she turns to the next customer in line, and the circular conversation begins again.

Scan. Smile. Prosaic chitchat back and forth about the weather, about anything happening in town today. The customer always asks how Yoko is doing, and she always says well. From time to time she says that she is looking forward to returning home, but she never says why. The day passes more easily when she can just get swept up in the current of the day’s happenings, watching the hours pass by.

When her shift is done, she changes into regular clothes. She’s gained weight since she last looked at herself in the mirror – pants tight around her hips and thighs, the buttons of her shirt stretched down the middle. She’ll need a new uniform unless she can curb her stress-eating, but then again there’s no time in the day to do everything that she wants to do. What she needs to do …

_ I have time today. _

She throws on a skirt and a blouse, swaps her non-slip work shoes for a cute pair of flats, and then heads out of the shop. The midday sun greets her by blinding her; Yoko throws up a hand to shield her eyes. Beneath her hand, she peers around at the city. Her feet know where to take her though: she takes the train to and from work every day. It’s the same, boring routine.

Today though, it’s a different day.

Yoko heads down the streets, weaving through people bustling around the city centre. The train station is just a hop and a skip away from her workplace, in a large glass and cement building several stories high. Railways shoot out of the building, some even arcing up high in the air. Those are the trains that lead to other dimensional cities. 

Normally, Yoko takes one of the Maiami Central lines to her place, and the trip only takes ten minutes. Today though, she stands at the station and glances up at the big, black board of rail lines and times. 

_ Yuuya once said … that you can get to Academia with only one train. I didn’t believe him back then, but …  _ She squints at the printing on the board. Sure enough, there is a direct line running from Maiami to Academia. It’s also not a train that’s anymore expensive than the line she takes to get home. 

_ Is this a new train?  _ Yoko wonders. But then again, Yuuya told her that ages ago. Back then, Yoko didn’t know why Yuuya told her that. He blurted it out one evening. Yet she remembered it, somehow.

With a smile, Yoko steps forward towards the ticket box. She pays for a rail ticket that will take her directly to Academia. Then, with her ticket, she brings it to the main station. There are at least ten railways here, half of them occupied by large, silver bullet trains that connect all of the dimensional cities. When Yuuya was younger, and they lived in Heartland City, Yoko was too broke to afford train tickets. It was only thanks to Durbe that they could afford to move out to Maiami City. 

She glances down at the train ticket. Her work, and the fundraising that Yuuya’s friends have done, has helped her be able to afford many things. While she feels a tad guilty using the money for an excursion, she also knows she needs a break, even a little one. She has to do  _ something  _ to give her mind and body a break.

The train comes whirring in seconds later, appearing like a silver chariot for her. Yoko heads into the crowds of people coming in and out of the train. This particular train has carriages and nice, comfy seats for a longer journey. Wearily, Yoko sinks down into a seat and tosses her head back. All the exhaustion in her body seems to appear at once; before she knows it, she can barely keep her eyes open.

When she next opens them, she’s … back home. Has the day flown by already? She raises a hand to her head. Was it a dream that she travelled to and from Academia? What happened during that day?

She kicks off her shoes at the door and stumbles inside. The apartment is eerily quiet: just three small rooms, with paper-thin walls through which she can hear the mutterings of her neighbours. As quietly as she can, Yoko tiptoes to the kitchen and turns on the kettle. At her feet are boxes that she never unpacked, even though they moved here so long ago. Most of the belongings are Yuuya’s: clothes, schoolbooks, records. She’s kept everything of his, too worried that she might throw away something her son found valuable.

There’s one thing in there that she knew she had to keep though. It’s his Odd-Eyes Magician CD. Yuuya told her he got it from his friend Hope, who Yoko knew as Tsukumo Yuuma. Everyone in the town always gave Yuuma hell for hanging around children, but Yoko found it rather endearing that her son made friends with such a hard-working boy.

Yoko pulls out the record. It’s dusty and shows its age, but there’s charm to it. Yuuya would listen to this song every day after he came home from school. He religiously followed the show, and Yoko suspects that Yuuya saw Odd-Eyes Magician as a hero and mentor. 

_ How did the song go again? _

She taps her feet to an imaginary beat, envisioning the tune. This was the theme song from the anime …

Yoko heads into the bedroom. While there is a spare room in this apartment, both Yuuya and Yoko sleep in one cramped room: Yuuya on the stretcher, Yoko on the floor. There is barely enough room in here for Yuuya’s stretcher, which bumps against three of the four walls. Right at the door are shelves with medical equipment that she’s borrowed from the hospital. 

Lying in the bed is Yuuya. He no longer needs an oxygen mask, his body becoming strong enough to breathe on his own. There’s a IV drip that keeps him hydrated, and further equipment under the blankets for feeding and cleaning. Over the years, Yoko has taken care of Yuuya here, in the safety and comfort of their apartment. 

One of the few non-medicinal objects in the room is the record player. It too sports a layer of dust on it from disuse. Yoko brushes it aside with her hand, and blows into the speaker once or twice to clear the remaining grime. It’s been so long since she or Yuuya listened to music. Carefully, she sets the disk into the player, adjusts the arm –

And she hears music. It cuts right into the middle of the opening song, a triumphant symphony with horns and drums that makes her want to get up and fight evil. When Yuuya went to fight evil, was this the song on his mind? Did Yuuya see himself as a hero like Odd-Eyes Magician?

_ My son did justice, didn’t he?  _ she thinks.  _ He’s here with me because he tried to save someone – I just know it.  _

In the bed, Yuuya’s chest rises with gentle breaths. He’s lost so much weight that he barely makes a dent in the bed. As if her son were made of glass, Yoko cards her fingers through Yuuya’s thin locks. She brushes her fingers along his cheekbones that threaten to rip apart his skin, massaging his nose, his temples, his chin. 

_ My son is a hero. My son … is an ally of justice. _

Sniffling softly, Yoko brings herself down to the bed. 

– and then she raises her head. She feels Yuuya’s breath shudder, and she worries that perhaps his heart has become weak, his airways have become obstructed, he’s caught another cold –

His eyes are open.

Two dull, red eyes have rolled open, peering blearily at her. Yuuya’s mouth hangs down a bit. He struggles to blink his eyes, the muscles weak and unused for so long.

“Yuuya?” Yoko says. She reaches up and touches his face. He doesn’t respond, but his eyes – his eyes are open! Her heart raps in her chest, threatening to climb up her throat. Yoko’s hands shake as she grabs hold of Yuuya’s face, pressing her forehead to his. Most likely his vision is hazy and he is unsure of who is here and where he’s living. Yuuya might not even have much strength to stay awake.

“Yuuya, it’s your mother, Yoko. I’m here.” She pushes her lips to his forehead, then straightens herself up so that she’s just a foot in front of him. “I’m here, Yuuya. You’re awake. It’s going to be OK.”

Yuuya doesn’t respond, staring straight at her.

Yoko stretches across his bed to grab her cell phone. She only has a few contacts in it, mostly old friends that she hasn’t spoken to since Yuuya’s injury. She has one new number though – Yuuto’s. He came to Maiami shortly after she did to study law. With shaking hands, Yoko types out  _ he’s awake.  _

Yuuto will know what she means.

Then she looks back at her son. Yuuya … is awake. He can’t respond to anything she says or does, but from the books she’s read about comatose patients, Yuuya won’t be able to do anything for a while. 

_ That’s OK,  _ she thinks. “Yuuya, you are safe. You woke up.”

As impossible as it is, Yoko sees a twinkle – a smile – in Yuuya’s glazed eyes.


	51. Chapter 51

_ _

_ To my best friend, Sakaki Yuuya: Part One _

_ Hi, Yuuya. This is Yuuto.  _

_ You may never need these files in your life. You may never need to know what happened to you. As harsh as this is to write, the doctors once told me and Yoko that you were unlikely to wake up from your coma. Yoko didn’t take that well. She said, and I quote, “Fuck you,” to the doctors. Your mom has so much guts and gusto; you are lucky to have such a strong woman taking care of you. _

_ But it’s true. You have been asleep for twelve years at this point. You haven’t come back to us once. By this point, the doctors think we should give up and put you to rest. I don’t agree, but since I’m friends with Yuuri, who pursued a medical degree, I do get where the doctors are coming from. Your mother won’t let you go though, and I don’t blame her. You gave us all so much hope, Yuuya, that we’re certain you’ll recover from this. _

_ I’m writing to you so that, when you wake up, this can fill-in some of the blanks. I want to tell you about what’s happened while you’ve been asleep. If you ever want to know what happened to you, then please read on. _

_ You had “your accident” on White Day, Monday, March 14, 1988. You were a fifth grader, eleven years old, at Heartland Academy Elementary School, and in the homeroom class of Mr. Heartland, 5-D. On the day of your injury, you followed Saotome Serena to the ice hockey rink. Serena had gone to watch the ice hockey game; I told you this. You were worried that if Serena was alone, something would happen to her. You were worried for her safety. _

_ Do you remember that game we used to play in fifth grade? We called it “the detective game.” We thought there might be a killer in Heartland City who would target loner girls; you were the most convinced of this, and we all believed you. We kept Reira and Rin safe, and we were worried about Yuuri too because someone might misgender him. When you found out Serena was alone – both you and Reira figured it out – you went after her. _

_ The last witness to see you was the public bus driver. You got off at the ice hockey rink, but no one remembers seeing you go into the stadium. You went by yourself because Serena didn’t like any of us, and we all thought it would be best if we didn’t swarm her. I regret this – I really do. When you went off after Serena, you were all alone. You met all the conditions for the killer to target you, even though we were certain only girls would be targeted. _

_ What happened? _

_ I … don’t know. _

_ At 18:30, you were found in the passenger seat of an old car. The car was two-thirds submerged into the cold river, sticking straight up like a beacon. You were north of Heartland City, and far away from any cities or towns. Thankfully, the spot the car drove into was right near a hiking trail. A veterinarian walking her dog saw the car. She acted immediately: she shone her flashlight into the windows of the car, looking for any victims. She saw something round bobbing in the water, and she thought it was you. Actually, it was a basketball; the police suspect that the basketball was used to put the car into the river. Then the vet called the police. _

_ Thankfully, the vet saw the basketball though. She swam into the car searching for you, and she found you strapped into the passenger seat. The vet used her house keys to rip the old seatbelt strap; the lock was jammed in it, so she had to cut you out. The vet dragged you out of the car and onto the snowy riverbank. Your body was soaked through. At that time, you had entered cardiopulmonary arrest as your body temperature was below 28 degrees celsius. The vet didn’t know if you would survive, but she began CPR on you. _

_ It took 25 minutes for the police and ambulance to arrive at the scene. Given their location, they were surprisingly quick to come to your rescue. During that time, another hiker had stopped by on the trail and come to assist the vet. The two of them gave you continuous CPR until the paramedics arrived. You might not know much about CPR, Yuuya, but it’s incredibly taxing. It’s amazing that just two people could keep up on CPR for so long. _

_ That day, the atmosphere temperature was one degrees celsius, and the water temperature was four degrees celsius. That difference in temperature was a saving grace. The cold water saved you, Yuuya. When your body entered rapid hypothermia, your brain fell into what the doctors called ‘suspended animation.’ This meant that your brain needed less oxygen. Were you awake, you would have died from lack of oxygen to your brain. Thankfully, hypothermia prevented your immediate death. _

_ This is why you fell into a coma. It’s been thirteen years since that day, and you haven’t woken up. Sad, isn’t it? But what you did wasn’t a mistake. _

_ Yuuya, remember that detective game I mentioned before? You never believed that was a game, did you? You knew there was truth to your suspicions. At the time, all of us – me, Yuuri, Yuugo, Reira, and Rin – all played along because you were a leader and we wanted to help each other out. However, none of us had any evidence that there could have been a killer. Those clues we found, maybe we looked too hard into them. But now that you’re in the hospital, I think you were telling the truth, Yuuya. There really was someone out there targeting elementary school girls.  _

_ Back then, I believed in doing justice, but I didn’t really know what that meant. But that day, March 14, when you fell into a coma, I knew there was a killer out there. I think that killer knew what we were doing and tried to stop you. On March 14, we stopped playing a “game.” The game became a reality – there was a killer in Heartland City.  _

_ After the attempted murder that put you in a coma, the police ran extensive background checks on everyone: the owner of the car, your family, my family, your friends, our teachers. No one got out of this. However, while the police gathered so much evidence and alibis, they couldn’t figure out the motive. Who would want to kill you? What enemies did you make?  _

_ I went to the police and told them about the murderer. I was eleven years old at the time. I told them that you and I, as well as our friends, had been protecting girls in Heartland City. I told the police that we suspected that the serial kidnapped and killer in the other cities had come to Heartland City. But it didn’t work. The police told me I was too young and naive, and that I read too many detective novels. They didn’t believe a word I said. Furthermore, they saw my testimony as a defense for my father, who was having trouble with the Amanda case in City. The police did not take me seriously … at least not about everything. There is one person I managed to save though, and I think you’ll be happy to hear this. _

_ Yuuma. You used to call him Hope. He was that adult who played with trading cards by the river. I never really trusted him, even when you told me that Hope was the most genuine, well-meaning person in all of the dimensions. But in my testimony I told the police that I saw Tsukumo Yuuma washing lunch boxes outside of his food store. The police only believed this part of my testimony. It kind of hurt to be disbelieved so much, but you always believed in Yuuma’s innocence.  _

_ Why was I near Tsukumo Yuuma? Well, I went to the river that day, and I walked by his house. I remember you tried to prove Yuuma’s innocence by deflating the tires of their food trucks and throwing a rock into their window. I’m not quite bold enough to do that, but I knew you would want me to protect Yuuma. He gave a testimony for you too … and I gave him an alibi.  _

_ In all the previous serial kidnappings and killings, one of the signatures of the killer was that he pinned the crime on someone else. This time though, he couldn’t. There was no one that he could frame for the murder. I always wondered who he wanted it to be, and I think it might have been Yuuma. This time though, he couldn’t. No one was caught and framed for your injury. _

_ I think I know why this happened. _

_ Yuuya, you broke his mechanism. There must be a crack in his shield. It was like you were a step ahead of the killer and you could plan ahead. You knew how to save everyone, and even if you couldn’t save yourself, all the pieces lined up so that the killer could not frame any of us. All thanks to you, Yuuya. _

_ Now it’s my turn. I want to be an ally of justice alongside you. I want to find the killer too and save the city. My dreams might be a bit more mature than yours, but the sentiment remains: we’re heroes and allies of justice, protecting the good people of the dimensional cities. When you fell into a coma, I took it up as a mission to find the real killer. He’s still out there, lurking in the shadows. I know he’ll never go away – and honestly, I don’t want to live in a dimension where he exists.  _

_ I want to kill the killer. _

_ Am I shaking you up with this letter? If so, I’m sorry. Maybe I’m writing this for my own personal gratification rather than for your health and well-being. This might not be what you need to read. You probably need to heal your injured body and mind; you’ve done enough fighting for the both of us. _

_ Yuuya, you might not remember the first time I came over. You wouldn’t because you were so lucid, your face so tight from not moving after so many years. When you woke up for the very first time, your mom, Yoko, texted me. I came running to your apartment; I’d been visiting you weekly, but you never showed any signs of waking up. That day though, I dashed into your apartment and fell to my knees at your bedside. I bawled like a baby – it was so embarrassing. _

_ Maybe it’s a good thing you might not remember those details. _

_ But Yuuya, I want you to know this: when you woke up, I was so happy. I had never felt happier. I’m so, so happy to know you’re back. I wish I had it in me to think that you’d always wake up, but I was worried that you might have given up your life for the safety of this city. I’m glad that you can keep living in these dimensions too … we’d all miss you too much. _

_ So welcome back, Yuuya.  _

_ From your friend, Kamishiro Yuuto. _

* * *

At first, all Yuuya sees is white. It hurts his retinas, burns a bright image into his mind, and he tries to close them – only that doesn’t work. The muscles around his eyes feel like solid rock, and he finds that he can’t do anything. His eyes are … stuck. It’s such an uncomfortable experience that he panics, but he can’t do that either. His mind and body and  _ everything  _ is stuck too, and all he can see is white in front of him.

He tries to take a breath to calm himself, but his mind can’t seem to comprehend such a simple action. This only doubles and triples the panic bursting from him. He needs to get out of this panic. He needs to do something. But whatever he tries to do slips from his mind like goo, and any thought he holds onto flutters away. 

Snow. 

This whiteness in his vision looks like snow. Yuuya remembers snow, but he’s not sure what memory he’s thinking of, or even what snow is. What does snow feel like? His mind struggles with such a simple thought that soon another wave of panic crashes over him. He tries to reign his consciousness back into thinking about snow. Snow is peaceful. Snow is innocent and soft, and –

Cold.

What does cold feel like? Yuuya can’t feel anything on his body besides the tightness around his eyes. He can see the white light, but that’s it. Whatever is happening outside of his body is a mystery to him.

Then he hears a song – a familiar song with trumpets and drums that make him want to get up and dance. Whatever this song is, he likes it. He imagines tapping his feet to the beat, swinging his arms to the jiving tune. The words heroic and powerful come to mind. This is the song of heroes, isn’t it? He’s glad it’s the first sound he hears in his strained ears.

Next Yuuya hears a voice.

“Yuuya … Yuuya ….”

_ My … name?  _ Yuuya knows who this voice belongs to though. His mother. His mother is nearby, probably with him. Hazily, his mind tries to recall what his mother looks like, but it hurts to force the thought to appear. Yuuya gives up then, but he listens to his name. Were he able to, he would smile for her. His mother must be right next to him, calling out to him. She sounds frantic, voice pitched high. She sounds tired too – what has she been doing? What is happening?

Yuuya tries to move his lips, but he’s not quite sure where those muscles are, or even how to move them. He can’t even  _ see  _ his mother, so how could he begin to answer her? He wants to though. At the very least, Yuuya wishes he could call back to her – “Mama.” That’s what he’d say to her.

But he can’t.

Yuuya can’t move anything, not even his weary, stinging eyes. Anything he feels flitters by his mind. He’s trapped within his body, a soul encased in a weary shell. His soul is chained to reality, but he can’t move outside of it. It’s suffocating to be incapable of speaking or seeing. Yuuya feels like he’s woken up from a terrible nightmare. He wishes he could run away from this reality, fall back asleep and wake up in a world where he can run and play and hug his mother, only he can’t even do that. No, Yuuya can’t do anything.

_ I’m in a nightmare. _

Panicking again, Yuuya tries to fall back asleep. He pretends his mind is a game and he pushes the power button, only Yuuya doesn’t turn himself off. No, he can still hear his mother weeping at his side, and another person’s voice calling out to him too – “Yuuya. Yuuya.” That name – his name – haunts him. 

_ I hear you!  _ Yuuya wants to say.  _ I’m awake! _

Yet not even his aching eyes move.

And then the world goes black, the power shuts off – and Yuuya falls back to sleep.

The next time he wakes up, he sees the bright light beaming into his eyes. Hurriedly, Yuuya closes his eyes. It surprises him when his eyes actually close, and he sees darkness for a moment before he snaps open his eyes once more. This time though, as hazy as his vision is, Yuuya sees colours – yellow and green, such bright and vibrant colours. Something pink comes to rest by his face, and Yuuya blinks his eyes once more. 

“Yuuya, it’s Mom. You’re awake.”

_ Awake?  _ Yuuya thinks. He tries to shift his eyes, but it sends such a sharp pain in his irises that he internally flinches. Still Yuuya can’t move his head or body – just blinking his eyelids, which feels like he’s stretching cold rubber. It hurts just as badly, but he keeps on blinking. Such a small movement brings great joy to him, even if it accomplishes nothing. 

_ Mom, are you smiling?  _ Yuuya wonders.  _ I can’t see you, but I’m awake. I’m moving.  _

Then the panic returns, a wave of confusion and worry that makes Yuuya squeeze his eyes closed. Whatever reality he’s woken up in is painful and unfortunate. Maybe this is a nightmare, and if he closes his eyes and falls back asleep he’ll wake up in a better reality. But when Yuuya pinches his eyes closed, soft fingers come to rest along his temples and massage his head. Those must be Yoko’s warm fingers.

“Yuuya, Mom is here with you. You’re OK.”

_ How can this be OK?  _ Yuuya thinks. He squeezes his eyes even tighter, willing himself to go back to sleep. 

“You’re in the hospital, Yuuya, but you are safe. You are recovering from a coma, Yuuya.”

_ Coma? What … is that?  _ Yuuya’s mind hurts as it tries to imagine what a coma is. His mother’s fingers rescue his mind though, coming to rest along his forehead and rub the tender skin there. Yuuya tries to thank her, but no part of his body besides his eyes will move for him. He’s not even sure how to do any of that. 

“There was an accident, Yuuya, and you’ve been asleep for a long time. You’re in the hospital recovering. The doctors, your friends, and I have all been taking good care of you. You are doing well, Yuuya.” The fingers touch right under his eyes. “You are so brave and strong, Yuuya. You are going to be OK.”

Yuuya wishes he could cry.

“You are my hero, Yuuya.”

_ Have … hope.  _ Did his mother ever say that to him? Those words rush out the anxiety though, so that he can blink twice up at her. He hopes she understands what that means. He hears her chipper sounds of glee not a moment later, and then something else – Yoko’s lips, maybe – touch his cheek.

“You are my hero, Yuuya.”

Those words soothe Yuuya. As he lets himself fall back into a sense of peace, a memory comes to mind. In the memory, Yuuya sees himself as a young boy, probably no older than six years old, wearing a pair of goggles on his head. There’s a star on one of the goggle lens, perhaps a cute quirk. Those goggles mean something to Yuuya, but he can’t remember what they’re from. 

Next to him is Yoko. She’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt, her typical, casual outfit that still makes her look like a queen. Yoko looks down at him with a bright smile. She holds his hand, her gentle fingers wrapped around his tiny, child palm. This memory must be from a long time ago, but in fact it feels timeless. Yoko is timeless. 

_ Yuuya, you don’t have a father,  _ his mother once told him,  _ but you have a Mama, and Mama will take good care of you. Your Mama will always protect you and love you. She’ll work her hardest so you have good food to eat and nice clothes to wear. Your Mama will always look out for you. _

_ Yuuya, your Mama loves you very much. _

Though Yuuya can’t see Yoko in front of him, that memory surfaces and glows so brightly that Yuuya imagines that same, beautiful mother sitting in front of him, touching his face. Yuuya hopes his mother looks that same as she did back then. After all, his mother is timeless. 

* * *

One day, Yuuya wakes up and he can see. He blinks his eyes open and closed, and for the first time he sees more than muted colours and fuzzy shapes. Yuuya sees a nurse in the room. Unfortunately, his eyes are the only thing that work. He rapidly blinks his eyes open and closed, ignoring the strain it causes him. He can’t turn his head to see who else is in the room, but he hopes that if he makes some movement that someone will come to his rescue.

“Yuuya?”

_ Mom!  _

He continues to blink his eyes until Yoko enters his vision. Her face is rounder in places and sallow in others. Her tired, green eyes brighten at once when they see him. Yoko looks different from all those years – not only has she put on weight, but there are definite aging lines along her face. Yuuya wonders how long it’s been since he fell asleep, but he can’t ask any questions. All he can do is let Yoko massage the muscles around his face and under his eyes, a comforting gesture.

Yoko turns her head away from his after a moment, and says something that Yuuya doesn’t quite catch to a person across the room. Yuuya hears the tapping of feet though, and a moment later someone else appears in his line of vision. It’s a man, middle-aged, with thin glasses perched on his pointed nose. Everything about this man seems sharp, including his mind. He must be the doctor, Yuuya thinks. A moment later, he wants to laugh at himself when he spots the man wearing a white coat and the name tag “Dr. Reiji.”

“Yuuya,” he says, raising his hand. “My name is Dr. Reiji, and I’m in charge of your care and well-being. I’m going to make sure you have a safe recovery. Now, I bet you have a lot of questions, and I will try to answer those to the best of my ability. Right now though, I need you to tell me if you can hear me. Please blink for me if you can hear me.”

Yuuya blinks as fast as he can. If he can talk with anyone, that’s a small step of success. Plus, if he answers Reiji’s questions, then he might be able to get some more information.

“Do you eyes hurt, Yuuya? Please blink if they hurt.”

Yuuya blinks his eyes.

“OK. And how about you head? Please blink if you head hurts.”

Again, Yuuya blinks. It’s frustrating to have to answer yes-no, but it’s a step above feeling in the dark about his recovery. If this is the only way he can communicate, then so be it. The very first question Yuuya wants to ask Reiji is when he’ll be able to speak.

Meanwhile, Reiji writes down notes on a clipboard that he has propped up against his arm. He scribbles for a few more moments, and then peers over the rims of his glasses. “Yuuya, the muscles around your eyes must be cramped up from your sleep. You need to keep moving your eyes, even your eyeballs. Whatever movement you can do will be enough; the nurses and your mother will do other stretches with you. If you want to keep talking though, you need to keep stretching your eyes.”

Next to him, Yoko says, “Did you catch all that Yuuya?”

He blinks to her. It hurts to move, but he tries to shift his eyes to the side – and nothing happens. He can only see forward. A wave of frustration washes over him, but he can’t even express it. He can’t even ask a question; he can only answer what Yoko and Reiji ask him. Helplessness grinds his weary soul into the ground. The muscles in his face won’t even stretch to show his sorrow. 

_ I want to ask questions! I want to talk! _

But it’s impossible for him. 

“I bet you have a lot of questions,” Reiji says, as if he’s read Yuuya’s mind, “but for now you need to focus on stretching your eyes. Fortunately, there is no hopeless debility in your body. You have your mother here to thank for that: she’s been stretching your limbs and taking care of you.” Reiji glances down at his clipboard. “I’ll switch the tube from your neck to your nose. Soon, you can use your voice. It will be hard to make sounds, but you’re going to recover from this.”

At Reiji’s side, Yoko nods with tears brimming in your eyes. “You’re going to be OK, Yuuya.”


	52. Chapter 52

During the first month, Yuuya’s body is physically taxed with exercises. He blinks his eyes and stretches as much of his face as he can. Slowly, he begins to be able to pull his mouth up and down, or crinkle his nose. Those little bits of control feel so relieving, even though it doesn’t solve his muteness. At the very least, the first gesture he tries is a smile.

Across from him, Yoko’s expression lights up like a child on Christmas Day. “Yuuya? Are you … smiling?”

He blinks, slow and steady, back to her.  _ Yes,  _ he wants to say.  _ I’m smiling for you. _

Travelling into the second month since he’s been awake, Yuuya begins to regain more and more control of parts of his body – fingers and toes that he wiggles back and forth as Yoko and the resident nurses stretch and twist his body. Yuuya feels their hands on his skin and he tries to lean into their touches. Sometimes he can rub his fingers on their arms. His throat makes a weak, wheezy sound that he wishes would come out as a laugh.

Reiji sees this as immense improvement. When he comes in to check up on Yuuya, Yoko tells him the wonderful news: “Yuuya is wiggling his toes!”

A flicker of joy appears on Reiji’s sharp face – a twist of his thin lips and a raise of one neat eyebrow. Yuuya tries to smile up at Reiji, proud of the work he has done. He tries to wiggle his toes to show Reiji how far he’s come in these past two months. This feels like such a monumental success for him!

Reiji looks down at his clipboard and writes down a note. “That’s good to hear. After fifteen years, Yuuya can –”

Yuuya’s mouth drops. His heart slams through his chest and his throat tightens.  _ Fi –  _ “Fi –” he gasps out the words, throat spasming with the weak, rough sounds garbled in his unused vocal cords. 

Yoko gasps at his words.

Reiji makes a note on his clipboard. “I see you’re trying to speak, Yuuya.” The words sound patronising, and Yuuya pulls his lips down as far as he can. Then Reiji chuckles under his breath and adds, “That’s a good improvement. We aren’t far from getting you into rehabilitation, Yuuya. The earlier, the better. I bet that’s what you want, right?”

Yuuya forces out a choked sound. “Ye –” he tries, lips fumbling over just a single syllable. Yet that small syllable brings such strength and joy to him, even though he feels like he’s run a marathon. His lungs burn and his eyes hurt. But he can’t help but feel a sense of joy over that little success. Across from him, Yoko and Reiji appear as his cheerleaders. They’re waiting for him to recover.

When that thought crosses his mind, Yuuya shifts his gaze to Yoko. She’s been waiting fifteen years for this day, hasn’t she? She’s on the verge of tears, cheeks pink and lips quivering. Yuuya can’t imagine waiting fifteen years for a miracle. 

_ What happened to me?  _ Yuuya wonders.  _ What’s happened in these fifteen years? _

But those questions have to stay in his mind on his weary tongue. Even though Yuuya can make sound, he finds it even harder to  _ talk.  _ Talking requires specific sounds and particular ways to hold his tongue in his mouth. When the speech therapist comes, he shows Yuuya how to move his mouth and hold his tongue up. It  _ hurts  _ to talk too, his lips stretching in uncomfortable ways over his teeth.

At times, Yuuya thinks about giving up. He keeps his mouth closed and bottles himself up – and then a wave of worry returns in knowing that, if he never recovers, he will never be able to tell anyone anything again. He’s not even sure what he could tell someone, but there are moments that wash him over with sorrow that he can’t tell Yoko he loves her, or he can’t tell Reiji that he’s grateful for his work. 

_ I have to get better,  _ Yuuya tells himself.

Sure enough, he does recover. He learns how to say yes and no instead of eye blinks. He tries out different sounds, sometimes using familiar songs to pick up the rhythm of the Japanese language. Yoko sings along with him; she has a beautiful voice, and Yuuya remembers hearing her sing in the morning when she packed his school lunch. 

Then there comes a time when Reiji comes in, clipboard in hand, and he stands next to Yuuya’s bed. He looks grave and serious; Yoko sits on the bed, just behind Reiji, and smiles at him.

“Yuuya,” Reiji says to gather his attention. “I need you to answer a question for me, one that isn’t a yes or no question. What is the last event you can think of before you fell asleep?”

_ Last … event? _

“Mem … ory,” Yuuya says.

“Yes, a memory,” Reiji says. “What last happened before you fell asleep?”

Yuuya doesn’t know. He frowns, pulling his eyebrows together into a point at the middle of his forehead. He has childhood memories of going to school, seeing his backpack and notes by the front door of his house. The classroom number 5-D sticks in his mind. Then there’s what’s inside his backpack … lunch … cards …

Cards. He and Yoko had a fight about them that morning. He had to go to school, and he hadn’t apologised to her that afternoon when he’d returned home – 

Yuuya looks to Yoko, eyes widening. “Mom, where’re … my ca … rds?”

Yoko’s face settles and she breathes out a sigh. She turns to look at Reiji, and the two of them share a silent conversation that makes Yuuya itch to ask them about it. He doesn't though. There must be something the two of them know that Yuuya doesn’t. Whatever answer he gave them though placated a worry of theirs. 

Then again though, Yuuya feels a bubble of worry in his own gut. Those trading cards – how could they be important? Why is  _ that  _ his last memory? No … there’s more. At the edges of Yuuya’s mind, obscured by a thick, choking void, are more memories. Yuuya sees the hazy shapes of figures – boys, girls, children, adults. There’s light and darkness in his mind, and both of them blind him. 

_ What happened?  _ Yuuya thinks.

Yuuya stretches his mind to remember, but all too soon he runs into a wall. There’s a door in his mind, made of such strong iron and barred with a big lock. There’s no way Yuuya can access those memories. As if he’s in a game, he needs to find the key. When Yuuya puts his hand to the door, leaning into the memories, he feels shooting, cold pain. There is something  _ bad  _ on the other end of the door.

_ What happened? _

* * *

_ Mom, _

_ This is Yuuya. I’m just thinking through some thoughts since my mouth really hurts. Actually, everything hurts. It’s the kind of pain that makes me thankful I am awake and alive, but that also reminds me that something terrible happened to me. I hope, someday, you’ll tell me. If you’re not ready to, that’s OK. I’m going to wait for you, just like you’ve waited for me. _

_ I found out that you’ve been taking care of me for fifteen years. _

_ That’s an understatement. _

_ For four hours everyday for the last fifteen years, you’ve been exercising my body so I wouldn’t become immobilised. You always knew I’d wake up, and you wanted me to be in tip-top condition. It’s thanks to you that I can move every little bit of my body. Soon, I might be able to start walking again. For now though, I can only move my face, fingers, and toes. That movement is so relieving though. I love tickling you with my fingers! _

_ Three years ago, you prepared for me to wake up. Dr. Akaba never told me why three years, but maybe … you just knew.  _

_ You attached an EMS to my body – joint care, muscle care, all to help my body recover and to prevent immobilisation. It did more than that though. When I fell into a coma, I was 139 cm tall – average height for an eleven year old. Today, I’m 169 cm tall, an average height for twenty-six year old.  _

_ You should know that Dr. Akaba thinks you’re incredible. You really, truly are, Mom. _

_ My senses are returning too. I can smell the flowers you bring into the room. I can feel the wind on my face when you open up the window. I hope I can start tasting foods, even drinking juice would be wonderful.  _

_ I’m starting to feel more like me, Mom. Whatever happens, I hope I can keep telling you that I love you. I hope you always know how grateful I am for taking care of me. I hope we never grow apart. _

_ Love, Yuuya. _

* * *

Three months after Yuuya regains the ability to talk, something miraculous happens. It begins with the jovial ring of Yoko’s mobile that alerts both of them. Yuuya has never heard it go off before, and it surprises him. He twists his head around, grimacing at the tightness in the muscles along his neck. He can move his neck though, and twist his head, and it’s relieving to be able to look around the room. 

Yoko sits at the bedside, holding the phone in her hands. Her bangs obscure her face, but then she looks up with a bright smile. “Yuuya,” she says, voice light and airy, as if she has a secret or a surprise for him, “there are some visitors stopping by today. They’re lost down in the lobby … somehow, so let me go and get them for you.”

“Visitors?” Yuuya says. The words are soft, but he can say all the syllables without breaking off to adjust his lips or tongue. His enunciation has greatly improved from working with the speech therapist.

“Don’t worry,” Yoko says, tousling his hair. “They’re excited to see you. Lemme just run and get them for you.” She hops up from her spot on the end of his bed and hurries out the door. There’s a skip in her step that has Yuuya raising his eyebrows high into his hairline. If he has visitors, who could it be? Yuuya’s memories are shaky of familiar faces … all he’s managed to remember is his mother, and that memory of the trading cards.

The suspense kills him though. Yuuya stares at the door until his eyes burn and he has to blink. He strains his ears for the sounds of footsteps in the hallway. No matter what he does though, he can’t anticipate anything. One second he hears silence and sees an empty doorway, and the next moment there are two adults standing in the doorway.

The first is a man dressed in slacks and a business shirt, casual yet sophisticated. His purple bangs have been swept to one side of his head and tucked behind his ear; the rest of his hair is black and lies softly along his head and around his hairline. There’s something soft about his expression – gentle purple eyes and plump, rosy lips pulled back for a beaming smile.

The second man is a bit more quiet and reserved. He’s shorter too, with delicate features: small lips, wide eyes, rounded cheekbones over his closed-mouth smile. He has on an ensemble that puts a fashion model to shame though: thigh-high boots over black skinny jeans, and a loose, purple top with a high-collar.

They both look familiar, as if Yuuya has seen them in a dream before. He doesn’t recognise them though, and that shocks both of the men when they raise their hands to say, “Hey, Yuuya.”

“You look dashing,” the shorter man says. “Have a good sleep?”

“Hey,” the taller man says. “That’s –”

Yuuya feels a laugh bubble up in his throat, only wheezing at the end. He looks from one stranger to the other, squinting his eyes. Those faces, those voices … they’re familiar now. Where has he seen them before? Who are these people?

Yoko appears just around the corner, grinning ear to ear. She claps both men on the shoulders and says, “Yuuya’s memory is a bit foggy, so why don’t you introduce yourselves. He hasn’t seen you in fifteen years, after all.”

_ Fifteen years …  _ “I … met you before I was … in a coma,” Yuuya says. 

The taller man stretches out his hand. “Yuuya, my name is Kamishiro Yuuto, and I was your best friend back in fifth grade. It’s so good to hear you’re awake.”

A memory bursts into his mind, crashing into his consciousness that Yuuya falls back into his bed. He sees Yuuto in his mind, a little boy with purple and black hair. Yuuto used to dress like he was going to an office meeting, and he talked like he was in one too. How could Yuuya forget Yuuto? But now that he remembers his face, he looks to the other boy – “Yu –”

“Hey,” Yuuri says, “let me introduce myself.” He clears his throat, then says, “Tenjouin Yuuri, your friend from fifth grade too.”

Yuuri. Yuuya remembers Yuuri as the little boy, shortest in the class, who had as much bite and bark to him as anyone bigger than him. Yuuri was smart, and good at chess too. He had good grades in school too. Yuuri hasn’t changed much since he was a child either.

“You’ve … grown up,” Yuuya says, glancing from one friend to the next. “It really has been fifteen years.”

Yuuri laughs. “You’re such a sleepyhead, Yuuya.”

“And besides,” Yuuto adds, “you grew too, Yuuya. I bet you’re still taller than Yuuri –”

“Hey!”

Another laugh bubbles up in Yuuya’s throat. His mind buzzes with new information, but he lets it wash over him like a gentle thrum of the ocean. When he first awoke, the new memories and sensations worried him. He’s had a month to get used to this new reality though. Seeing his friends brings Yuuya joy and sorrow. For fifteen years, they’ve been around. His friends never forgot him; they kept in touch.

Yuuya has so many questions he wants to ask them that the words all come tumbling out. He tries to get a hold of his mouth and take a deep breath, but there is too much to say and too little time. What stops him is Yuuto’s gentle clearing of his throat.

“Yuuya,” he says, “we’re here. We’re going to listen to you.”

He takes a deep breath. “What … have you been up to?”

Before Yuuto has a chance to answer, Yuuri blurts out, “I’m a resident physician at this hospital.”

Yuuya blinks. “You are?”

“Not in your wing,” Yuuri says, “but I work in this hospital. I came to Maiami City after graduation from the University of Academia. There’s good work here and” – he coughs into his fist – “I wanted to see you here.”

Yuuto nods. “I came here for high school, where I went to Maiami High and took the entrance exam to MaiamiU for law school. I became a lawyer, Yuuya.” He chuckles. “It kind of helped to have connections with my father. I’ve been in the same city as you ever since Yoko moved you here in sixth grade.”

The words stun him to silence. Yuuya glances around the room at all the faces smiling back at him. 

_ No one ever left me. _

Tears bubble in his eyes. Hastily, Yuuto reaches forward to brush them away, but Yuuya shakily turns his head away. 

“It’s … OK,” Yuuya says, sniffling as his nose begins to run. “I’m happy.”

“Sure looks like it,” Yuuri says. He reaches into his pocket and yanks out a handkerchief. He then stares at it, as if realising that Yuuya doesn’t have enough mobility to wipe his own nose. Then he huffs and reaches across the bed, running the cloth under Yuuya’s eyes and then his nose. Yuuya sniffles and tries to smile, but Yuuri just tuts at him.

“I’ve missed you,” Yuuya says. “You were in the same city as me … all this time.”

“You thought we would  _ leave  _ you?” Yuuto says. “Yuuya, you’re our friend.” He glances back over his shoulder, to where Yoko sits in one of the chairs. Yuuya catches them share a look that he thinks about asking, but like that time with Yoko and Reiji, Yuuya holds his tongue. Instead, he lets the moment be. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and when he opens them again his friends are still standing by him.

“You never left,” Yuuya says.

Soon after the conversation dissolves into light chatter. Yuuri and Yuuto tell him about their lives, even the menial aspects of it. They both live near the hospital and have been receiving updates of Yuuya’s recovery for three years. It’s thanks to Yuuri that Yoko learnt many of the care techniques she practiced on him to help his muscles. Yuuto, meanwhile, has been Yoko’s support system.

Yuuto looks like he has more to say though. He doesn’t talk about his work when Yuuri shares that he works in the hematology unit. Yuuya tries to pry into Yuuto’s work life, but he bars it up tight. Eventually, Yuuya gives up and just lets the conversation whisk by.

Hours later, Yuuto and Yuuri have to return home. Yuuya’s mouth is dry from so much talking and he aches, but he still smiles to his friends. He sees them out the door, and Yoko takes them down to the entrance so that they don’t get lost again, though she teases Yuuri that since he works here he should know where he’s going.

“Are you sure you didn’t just want me to walk you down there?” Yoko teases. She glances over her shoulder. “Be right back, Yuuya.”

“Ok, Mom.”

They disappear out the door and down the hallway. Yuuya has never seen beyond his room, though he suspects that there might not be much to look at in his hospital wing. 

Only when they are gone does Yuuya let his smile drop. They’re keeping something from him; he knows it. There’s something that Yuuto wasn’t allowed to tell him, and something Yoko has been keeping from him. It hurts knowing that they have a secret. Whatever they must not want to tell him, Yuuya can only suspect it’s for his well-being. 

It still hurts though.

* * *

Rehabilitation  _ hurts.  _

It’s grueling, strenuous exercises of walking back and forth, stepping, moving; his bones creak and groan every time he tries to move himself. Yuuya feels like twenty-six going on seventy-two with the way his body resists any small amount of movement. Fortunately, he has regained control of his limbs. His muscles are weak, unable to support him without assistance, but he knows how to step forward and raise his arms.

There are braces on his legs and back to help him with his posture, and some on his arms for when he has to hold himself upright. There is always an attendant standing behind him, keeping him steady. It’s humiliating to need so much support for the twenty steps it takes to get from one end of the bar to the other, but Yuuya still goes through with it.

_ I’ll do it for you, Mom. _

He walks for his mother.

He takes deep, gulping breaths. Sweat rolls down his face and coats his neck and back. Each step step he takes is for her. Each breath. Each –

“Yuuya.”

Yuuya whips his head around. He knows that voice. He knows that person standing across the room. Her long, purple hair sways from side to side with the breeze, reaching down to her hips. She has on a soft, cream sweater and corduroy pants, with a dark red scarf wrapped twice round her neck. Most importantly, she’s smiling at him with big tears in her shimmering blue eyes.

“Re … Reira?” Yuuya says. He blinks. That’s … Reira. His classmate. His  _ friend. _

Reira nods. “You’re awake, Yuuya.” She hurries forward through the door, the tails of her scarf fluttering behind her. She doesn’t crush him in a hug, thankfully because he’s still at the bar. She comes to stand right in front of him though, so that Yuuya can see the dusty pink of her cheeks and hear her quiet sobs.

She reaches out a hand to his face, and when she pulls it away Yuuya sees tears dangling from her fingertips.

“I’m … crying.” Yuuya sniffs hard, suddenly embarrassed. Reira doesn’t seem to mind though. He tugs him into a tight embrace, pushing Yuuya’s head into his thick scarf. His hugs are tight and warm, and Yuuya melts in his grasp. All of his emotions seem to break inside him. He gives a heaving sob, nearly a wail, and buries himself in Reira’s grasp.

_ Reira didn’t forget about me either. _


	53. Chapter 53

_ _

_ I was able to become happy thanks to everything you did, Yuuya. _

Reira says those words with a bright smile on his face. He keeps his warm hands around Yuuya’s back, supporting him when Yuuya’s legs begin to quiver. The rehabilitation nurse helps him when he threatens to tip over, guiding Yuuya into a nearby wheelchair. When Yuuya can sit, he leans back in his seat and … breathes.

Reira is here. He’s older, taller, but familiar to Yuuya. When Yuuto and Yuuri came to visit, Yuuya felt like he met two new strangers: his friends had grown up and changed, taken on professional careers and moved to Maiami City to be with him. Reira, though – she could have told him she was an astronaut who travelled the galaxies and Yuuya would have thought she was the same, familiar face from his elementary class.

“I can’t believe you remembered me,” Reira says, brushing his long hair behind his ears. “Yuuto and Yuuri told me that you didn’t recognise them at first – all good, of course, they were just commenting on …” Reira’s voice fades away, and he laughs. “Well, I guess I thought you might not recognise me either.”

Yuuya shakes his head, a smile growing on his lips. “It’s embarrassing that I can’t remember anything we did together, but … I remember you, Reira. You were my friend from fifth grade.”

“I used to sit in front of you … and you used to pick me up from school in the mornings and we’d walk to class together.” Reira folds her hands together, cheeks pink. “I guess you don’t remember any of that.”

“I wish I did.” Yuuya stretches, raising his arms above his head. In the moment, he feels unsure about what to say. He knows Reira, but beyond facial recognition he can’t remember anything about him. No one’s explained anything to him, so he can only assume that Reira is a friend who stuck close to him after the accident. 

In the soft afternoon sun, Reira looks like an angel. He sways from side to side, gazing around the rehabilitation centre with its open windows overlooking a grassy meadow. There are all sorts of exercise equipment here; along the far side is a long row of benches.

“Yuuya … can we talk?”

“Talk?” Yuuya says. “About what?”

Reira chews on his lip, eyebrows furrowed tight to create thick worry lines on his forehead. “I guess, if you don’t remember your accident or what happened back then, then you wouldn’t really know … about what you did.”

“What I did?” Yuuya shakes his head. He wheels himself forward, closer to Reira. “Why don’t we take a seat then?”

In his mind, Yuuya has a sneaking suspicion about what might be on Reira’s mind. There was something Yuuto and Yuuri  _ couldn’t  _ say, but that Reira wants to tell him. Yuuya doesn’t know what happened to him, but everyone else does … and now, after all this time, maybe Reira will tell him.

Reira and Yuuya head to the far benches. Reira sinks down gratefully, and gives him a weary smile. His long scarf bunches up around his neck and ears, pillowing his round face.

“Yuuya,” Reira says, gathering his attention once more, “don’t you think it’s wrong that we all got to live on happily and you didn’t?”

“Huh?” Yuuya’s jaw drops. “W-what do you mean, Reira?”

“Back then, and even a bit now, I thought it might be my fault that you’re like this, that you fell into a coma. I know that’s irrational, but that’s what I thought. I don’t think about it so much now, but even today, sitting in front of you, I’m wondering if there was something I could have done back then to prevent this. And then, after your coma, you were in the hospital for so long …

“It’s been fifteen years, Yuuya. You’ve missed half of your life. I felt like, if I kept living, that I was leaving you behind.” Reira wipes at the tears gathering around his eyes, sniffling behind a hand. Yuuya has no tissues to offer, but when Reira’s wiped off his face with his sleeve, Yuuya reaches out and sets one hand atop of Reira’s.

Reira’s eyes lift to meet his.

Yuuya feels it before he realises – the slow spreading of his lips, the quirk to the corners of his mouth. He lets the smile take over his soul and fill him up. “Reira,” he says, “my fate is mine alone. There’s no need for you to feel responsible for it.” His shoulders drop, and Yuuya lets out a deep breath. “When you’re sad, you should smile. After all, I am still alive. I must be who I am now … Sakaki Yuuya, a hero … as a result of having done what I thought was right.”

Now it’s Reira’s turn to drop his mouth open. “H-huh?”

“I trust myself,” Yuuya says, squeezing Reira’s hand once. “What I did fifteen years ago – I made the right choice back then. I just know it.”

A bubble of laughter erupts from between Reira’s small, pink lips. She covers her mouth to muffle the sound, but it’s unmistakably laughter – a beautiful, pealing sound that rings in Yuuya’s ears.

“You’re still a smooth talker,” Reira says. From behind her hand, she whispers, “You’re still my hero, Yuuya. Do you … remember that?”

_ Hero?  _ Yuuya thinks. But no memory comes to mind. He shakes his head, and admits, “My mind is a bit fuzzy, but I’m glad that I was your friend back then, and that we are still friends today.”

Reira’s hand falls over his own – strong, sturdy, and calloused. “It’s thanks to you, Yuuya that I have friends.” She leans closer to him, as if she’s telling him a secret. “I’ll tell you about that time you were my hero, OK? There was this time when we were on the cliffside together. You took me up there before, and this time I brought you there. On that cliff, we could see the entirety of our hometown, Heartland City. Do you remember your hometown?”

Yuuya squints his eyes to remember the details. “I remember the school, and my house … and the river I always played at.”

“We could see  _ all  _ of that,” Reira says. “Every teeny-tiny detail in the entire dimension. We went up on that hill and looked out at the city below. We started talking then about loneliness – what it means to be alone, and even  _ missing,  _ in the dimensions. Back then, Yuuya, I wasn’t in a good place. I wanted to run away and live in a city all to myself. I told myself, ‘Someday, I want to live in a dimension where only I am missing’ because no one would care if I disappeared.”

Reira’s lips quirk into a smile. “But I don’t believe that anymore – not since you became my friend, Yuuya. Because of you, I made a friend. I became friends with Yuuto and Yuuri, and Yuugo too, through your friendship. You helped me make that step. And so now, when I think back to that loneliness and emptiness I felt back then, I realise that what I was missing was friends. All I knew back then was how to be alone … and now I know how to be a friend … how to be part of a family.

“I have a lot of things today, Yuuya – a nice job at an elementary school as a teacher, a grandmother who takes care of me when I need help … and friends. I still go out for lunch with Yuuto and Yuuri when our schedules match up. I take the same morning train as Serena, who works as a school counselor at the same elementary school as me. Rin and Yuugo are off building bikes in City, but when they’re in town I see them too.”

Rocking back on her chair, Reira pauses and lets the words skin into Yuuya’s skin.

“It’s thanks to you that I have a family today. Yuuya, you are more than my hero – you’re my hope. So … thanks, Yuuya, for giving me such a beautiful life.”

Yuuya blushes at the words, a bit taken-aback by the closeness and friendliness of her tone. All the memories Yuuya has of Reira are of her sitting silently in her seat kitty-corner to him. Not once does he remember talking to her? But then again … maybe he does. Calling Reira by her first name, speaking to her life a friend – that seems natural, even if he can’t remember it.

Reira clears his throat. “Yuuya?”

“Sorry, it’s just … it’s a lot to think about – not you, I mean. Just … everything. All of this. It’s … new.”

Reira chuckles. “You have fifteen years to think through – I bet that’s a daunting task.”

“Tell me about it.” Yuuya reaches up to rub the back of his head, wincing at the strain in his muscles. When he looks at Reira though, memories seem to bubble to the surface – not clear, but murky thoughts about what happened back then.

_ He was my friend,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ Sometime between my last memory – the fight with the trading cards – and waking up, something happened … maybe more than one thing too. But then what happened? Reira’s words make sense, but they’re not about the accident. What even was the accident? It wasn’t suicide, or else Reira’s words would have been a bit more weepy.  _

_ … a criminal case then. I was killed … by someone else. It wasn’t an accident – they wouldn’t keep that from me. Something happened back then with a criminal … a killer. _

Yuuya blinks, and for a second the white light of the sun catches on the window and Yuuya sees – snow? How? It’s springtime though, not during a time when it would be snowing. But Yuuya sees snow in the fog of the window, and an old, abandoned bus.

_ Reira thanked me for so many things, but what did I do? Reira said she was in a bad place back then, so did I get her out of it?  _

And then the snow is gone. Yuuya blinks once more and he can see the sun, and through the clean glass he sees the green grass and rolling hills of the courtyard. Next to him, Reira is sitting and smiling, also looking out the window. She looks content, as if a massive weight has been lifted from her shoulders. When she glances at him out of the corner of her eye, Yuuya feels like winking.

“Reira, did you meet my mom before you came in?”

Reira nods, head bouncing up and down and causing his hair to cascade and poof around his face. “She met me at the doorway, actually! She recognised me at once and nearly bowled me over with her hugs.”

“And did she say anything?”

Reira raises an eyebrow, and then giggles behind his hand. “Are you worried she was telling embarrassing secrets about you, Yuuya?” She muffles a laugh in her palm, struggling to get the next words out. “Well, I mean … she said that you’re working hard at physio, and that you’ve made amazing progress on your healing. She wouldn’t stop talking about how wonderful you are.”

Yuuya feels his face heat up. “She’s so embarrassing,” he says. In his mind, Yuuya thinks,  _ And I’m glad she didn’t stop you from saying anything to me about what happened. I’m certain she gave Yuuto and Yuuri a talking-to before they visited.  _

Yuuya opens up his mouth to ask her then –  _ how did I fall into a coma?  _ It’s one question with one answer, just a few syllables to roll off the tongue. But when Yuuya looks up and sees Reira smiling at him, and thinks back to his mother who cared for him for fifteen years, Yuuya can’t bring himself to intrude like that. If his mother wanted to tell him, she would have. Something must have happened that made it difficult to talk about. 

A shift of movement catches in Yuuya’s eyes – Reira getting up, brushing down her corduroys, and heading to where she’d set her jacket at the end of the bench. She comes back though, hands held tight as if she’s trying to keep her emotions in check and not cry. If she cries, Yuuya would only cry with her. He can’t remember Reira, but this friend … he liked her – not romantically, but deep in his heart he feels a familial form of love.

_ Who were you to me, Reira? _

“I have to go, and I bet you need to finish your rehab session. I’ll come by later on this week though, all right? I’m …” She sniffles and raises her hand. “I’m so happy you’re awake at last, Yuuya. It’s been a long fifteen years without your smile.”

“I’m awake now,” Yuuya says. He raises a hand, keeps it steady so he can wave. “See you soon, Reira.”

She holds out her hand, fingers splayed wide. “See you soon, Yuuya.”

There’s a flicker of a memory in his mind – of a little girl with long purple hair and a red scarf who he used to say goodbye to at the door to her house. That little girl … that was Reira, wasn’t it? Same hair, same face, same scarf. 

_ What else do I remember about Reira? _

A rehabilitation nurse comes by once Reira is out the door – a kind woman with frizzy orange hair. She folds her hand neatly in front of herself and says, “Yuuya, are you ready for more exercises? We’ve still got a bit to go.”

Yuuya’s fingers twitch. He draws his fingers along his leg, creating swirls and patterns. The motions seem surprisingly familiar even on his weary bones and muscles. Then, twisting his lips together, Yuuya says, “Drawing … can I draw?”

“When you get back to your room, let’s do some arm rehabilitation. Let’s work on your legs for a bit more.”

He wants to shake his head – his fingers  _ itch  _ with a burning desire to draw – but he can’t argue with his nurses. Therefore, he wheels forward to the bars and she helps him out of the chair. They begin to walk again, his body fully-supported by braces and holds. All he has to do is put one foot in front of the other, but it  _ hurts  _ in places Yuuya didn’t ever think he bent his legs. As he moves, he twitches his fingers, fumbling with the handrails.

“Is your grip all right?” the nurse asks.

“Fine,” Yuuya says. “Let’s keep going.”

He walks until sweat drips down his back again, and his chest heaves with laboured breaths. When he’s spent of energy, the nurse lets him sink back into the chair and she wheels him out of the room. Yuuya sees the hopeful light down the hallway. He can barely sit still in the seat, twitching forward and worrying her. When she takes him to his room though, she wheels him into the bathroom.

“What –?”

“You’re sweating – wouldn’t you like a bath? I guess I assumed so, sorry –”

“No … it’s fine.” 

Bathing is a bit of a personal matter, but the nurses that help him are all friendly and compassionate. Besides, his own mother cleaned him for fifteen years, so he should hardly be modest after all that time. 

When he’s done, the nurses dress him back up in the flimsy hospital gown and wheel him back to his bed. The only cord they attach to him is a pulse monitor that sticks to his foot – no IVs or catheter or tubes or anything else that was once uncomfortable. A nurse asks him once more if there’s anything he needs, but Yuuya eyes up his sketchbook and pencil.

_ I want to draw. _

“I’m good,” Yuuya says. “Thank you.”

The nurse leaves him be.

As soon as the door closes, Yuuya snatches up the sketchbook and pencil, flipping through the pages. It’s a new sketchbook – Yoko must have bought this for him while he was asleep. Despite how long it’s been since he held a pencil, his fingers and hand seem to know where to curl and bend. He presses the pencil to the paper, drawing a line –

Oh.

It’s straight.

His hand doesn’t shake, not once. 

_ Let me … do that again. _

So he does.

Again and again, all across the page. His muscles remember something, sketching and shading, drawing straight and curved lines all across the page. Where Yuuya learnt to draw like this, he doesn’t know, but before he realises it, he’s sketched and shaded a complete full-body picture of Akaba Reira. She appears just like she did earlier today, with her long hair trailing and curling down her back. Her corduroys hug her hips and her cream sweater looks cosy for the spring weather. And her scarf – her long, red scarf wrapped twice round her pale neck.

Only the drawing isn’t just good – it’s  _ professional.  _ The details pop off the page. It’s too realistic, too good –

_ How did I learn to draw like this? Where did I learn to do this? I’ve been asleep for – _

“Yuuya?” Yoko flings open the door and her smile widens. “Ah, you’re back from physio already!” In her hands she has grocery bags filled with food – jello, pudding, and other soft treats. He can eat soft foods now without the risk of choking, and Yuuya’s heart leaps at the thought of sugary treats.

However, the sketchbook still lies in his lap. Hurriedly, Yuuya shoves it behind the pillow and, to cover his guilty expression, he asks, “You went out?”

“You have two eyes and can clearly see,” she says with a giggle. “I got treats for you.” She frowns. “Did something happen?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “Not at all.”

She looks like she might object, and then she shrugs. “Never mind then.”

“But –”

Yoko’s face curls into a sneer. She drops the bags on the ground and marches across the room, to the grand window in Yuuya’s room. There’s a large Japanese maple right by the window, with dappled red and orange leaves like a permanent sunset outside Yuuya’s room. Yuuya only gets a brief sight of it though before Yoko drags the blinds closed. She huffs loudly.

“Those fuckers are here again,” she mutters.

Never having heard his mother swear like that before, Yuuya raises an eyebrow. “Who’re you talking about, Mom?”

She turns around, arms crossed tight over her chest. She struggles to get the words out, and she spits them out like bile. “These reporters, disgusting pigs looking for the latest scoop. Ever since you woke up they’ve been trying to get a report on the ‘magical boy who woke up from a fifteen year sleep.’ I have half a mind to throw something out the window and knock them off that tree branch.”

Yuuya laughs outright. “Please don’t, Mom.”

“I would,” she says, voice even. “And my aim is good – I wouldn’t miss.” Then she laughs, running her fingers through her thick, blonde hair. It snags in places, unruly from being outside. Over her shoulder, she says, “Hey, you were starting to say something before I cut you off. What’s up?”

But Yuuya doesn’t hear her. Through the teeniest slit in the blinds, a sliver of warm light has slipped through and dotted the side of his mother’s beautiful face. She looks different from the woman he remembers, but she’s unmistakably his mom. Yuuya still can’t believe that she cared for him for fifteen years.

_ You’ve always watched over me, haven’t you? You’ve always taken care of me. Whenever I was in trouble, you were there for me. _

“Yuuya? What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing.”

Later that night though, Yuuya can’t sleep because there is  _ too much  _ on his mind – thoughts, ideas, and memories. Yuuya doesn’t know where all this is coming from, and piecing it together seems like too daunting of a task when sparks of memory flit through his mind before he can capture them. Whenever Yuuya reaches out, desperate to understand or grasp anything his mind conjures, it slips through his shaky fingers. 

And then it hits him.

_ Mom. _

_ That’s you, right? Mom? Yes, you’re my mom. You’ve been protecting my mind and body for fifteen years. I wonder how you did it – how you had hope for so many years when I was asleep. I bet those reporters were on you back then too, or maybe it was a different story, like ‘The Woman Who Keeps Fighting for her Son’. I don’t know if I’d be able to stay strong for that long. _

_ I’m grateful though. It’s thanks to you that I am alive and well today. I’m getting better only because of the care you gave me while I was asleep. I have memories of you – early memories, back before I went to school. I remember one day I went to play with a girl – I forget her name and face, but that doesn’t matter – and when I got upset you wiped my nose and eyes and made me dinner. I remember sitting across the table with you. I remember sleeping next to you, holding you great, big, strong hand.  _

_ You wanted my mind at peace. Maybe you don’t want me to remember. _

_ Mom, discovering what happened to me will go against your wish. That’s why I didn’t ask Reira for more information today, even though I bet she knew exactly what happened to me. I won’t deny though that I’m insatiably curious about my ‘accident.’ I’m starting to think it wasn’t an accident. _

_ These are just my thoughts, Mom, so don’t worry. I won’t ask you any questions, not until you’re ready. But I’m curious … about myself. _

_ Back when I first woke up, my eyes didn't work and I could barely see even you. When my eyes recovered though, Dr. Reiji gave me a hand mirror. He told me I might be surprised by my face – I hadn’t seen myself in fifteen years – and yet … I didn’t think I looked so different. I was thinner, but my reflection didn’t surprise me in the way I thought it would. _

_ That’s odd, isn’t it? Shouldn’t I have thought ‘how old?’ or ‘how could this be the real me?’ I don’t know why, but the current me doesn’t look all that unfamiliar.  _

_ Dr. Reiji said that not all comatose patients are surprised when they wake up and see themselves, but I could tell that he was puzzled by my reaction too.  _

_ There was another time too … when I asked for my glasses. I don’t remember wearing glasses as a kid, but for some reason I asked you one day to bring me them. You said I never wore them. Why did I remember this then? I’m more puzzled about this. _

_ And Reira – today, with Reira, we started talking about things I missed while I was asleep. Reira started to tell me about this trip they took in middle school to Academia. She told me that all of them went – her, Yuuto, Yuugo, Yuuri, Serena, and Rin. I didn’t remember all of those details, but then she began to tell me a story about how Yuuto got beamed on the head and it bled. _

_ I knew the story though. I said: “Yeah, Yuugo got in a fight with boys from another school because they were teasing Yuuri, and when Yuuto tried to break it up and push the other guys away, he got caught in the middle of the fight and ended up hitting his head on the pavement. Thankfully, Yuuri knew how to stanch the blood with vaseline, and that way the teacher didn’t find out.” _

_ Reira then asked me: “How did you know that?” _

_ The lie: “Yuuto and Yuuri told me.” _

_ The truth: I don’t know. I had this memory in my mind, even though it had been years since I fell into a coma. I shouldn’t have remembered anything from that time, and yet for some reason I remembered it. There were parts I forgot, like Serena and Rin being there, and I didn’t even remember Reira being there, but … that felt like a memory to me. How could I remember something like that though when I wasn’t even awake? _

_ There’s more though! More clues that I remember things I shouldn’t. When Mom told me about the D/D Railway System, I knew what that meant before she even told me that the initials stood for Different Dimensional. That name didn’t sound strange to my ears. _

_ Mom and Reira both told me that my vocabulary is quite mature for someone who’s been asleep since elementary school. I guess that’s what Reira meant by me being a “smooth talker.” How would I learn those words though? No kid would know that, not even a genius!  _

_ And last but not least, my drawing under my pillow. When did I get so good at drawing? It’s like I’m a mangaka and practiced for  _ years!  _ That’s impossible though – I’ve been asleep for too long.  _

At last, Yuuya’s mind hits a door – a great, metal door stretching up as far as he can see. There’s a thick padlock the size of his head on the handles. Unless he has a way to break the lock, or a key to open it, Yuuya will never see what’s behind that door. When he stands in front of it though, he feels something reach for him through the metal. There is  _ something  _ on the other side of the door.

Memories.

_ I need to find the key to that locked door. _


	54. Chapter 54

Reiji isn’t even all the way through the door when Yuuya pounces on him with questions.

“Dr. Reiji, why is that things don’t seem so unfamiliar?”

Reiji chuckles. “And a good morning to you, Yuuya. Has this been on your mind all night?”

Yuuya nods, bouncing his head up and down. 

Reji doesn’t say anything for a moment though. He steps into the room and takes a seat by Yuuya’s bed, balancing his clipboard atop his knees. Then he clears his throat and says, “Well, perhaps you learnt some things while you were sleeping.”

“Is that even possible?” Yuuya says.

Reiji taps his fingers on the clipboard. “It wouldn’t explain everything that you remember, but it’s the best guess I have.” Chuckling, he adds, “You are sort of a medical mystery, Yuuya. I think that you might have learnt more than you remember though, and I have some evidence to prove this.”

Scooching forward on the bed, Yuuya rests his elbows on the bars of his bed, and cups his face in his hands. Dr. Reiji doesn’t look much older than him if he looks past the grey hair sprouting from his head and the deep, solemn lines of his chiseled face. 

“Yuuya, I only became your doctor in the year 2000; before that, there was a brain psychologist who was caring for you, but he retired. Before all that though, your mother was giving you home care in your apartment in Maiami City. You were in a state of ‘unresponsive wakefulness syndrome,’ more commonly referred to as a vegetative state. This meant that you brain waves were flat; with support though, such as a respirator, your organs were functioning. In short, you were alive, but unresponsive.

“Then in autumn 2001, you started breathing on your own. None of us know how you did it. This state is called ‘minimally conscious state.’ Overnight, you recovered to a ‘sleep state.’”

By the twist of Reiji’s mouth and the fierce slant of his eyebrows, Yuuya catches that there is something off about all this. “That sounds … like a miracle.”

“It is,” Reiji says. He clears his throat, covering his mouth with his arm, and then says, “It’s never happened before, at least not in any recorded cases. After fifteen years, most patients don’t recover from a coma. However, let me tell you the rest of the story. For the two years before you woke up, you were in that sleep state. Your mother read to you every night; she played music and left the radio on, so that you were always aware of what was going on around you. Perhaps your brain remembers the details of the previous two years, and that is why you aren’t feeling so lost today.”

However, that doesn’t make sense to Yuuya either. Some details he wouldn’t remember, like the story about his friends’ field trip, or the fact that his face doesn’t look so unfamiliar. Nonetheless, Yuuya tries to smile at Reiji. “Thank you.”

“It’s not the answer you wanted, is it?”

“ … no.”

Reiji huffs and sighs; he looks younger when he’s confused, as if knowledge has made him age centuries. “I don’t know either. It’s a  _ possible  _ solution, but even I agree that it’s a tad farfetched. However, while it might not be the answer you wanted to hear … your mother believes that.”

She would.

“My mother took care of me in the hopes that I would wake up.”

Reiji nods. “No matter what we can assume about your miraculous recovery, I do believe that your waking up is because of how she cared for you. Never before has a mother cared for her son for so long …” He shrugs. “You are a lucky man, Yuuya.”

“I … am.” The words seem to come from his heart.  _ I am alive today because of you, Mom. I hope – _

The click of the door alerts both of them. Reiji glances over his shoulder, and then airly remarks, “The miracle-worker herself.”

Cheekily, Yoko sticks out her tongue. Her hands are laden with bags of food and books, and Yuuya spots some more sketchbooks and art supplies peeking out of one bag. She kicks the door closed with her heel and deposits her loot on one of the empty chairs. Then she glances from Reiji to Yuuya, hands on her hips.

“Having a heart-to-heart conversation, were we?”

Yuuya blushes. “No –”

“Just a checkup,” Reiji says, voice smooth as silk. “I have to get going now though. You both enjoy your night.” With a quick wave, Reiji stands up and heads out the door. The good feeling in the room stays though; when Yuuya glances to Yoko, he sees her smiling at the doorway. Then she begins busying herself with unpacking the bags, pulling out more stuff than Yuuya thinks he’ll ever need. 

Just for a moment, he lets the silence sweep between them. His mother has brought in CDs and books, perhaps the same ones that she read to him while he was unconscious. She’s brought along manga too, newer stuff that Yuuya wonders if it belongs to Yuuri or Yuuto.

“Mom.”

She stops moving, but does not look over her shoulder. “Hm?”

“When Reira came … she was talking a lot.”

“Chatty, isn’t she?” Yoko spins around on her heel, blonde hair flying out like a golden cape. “I met up with her before she came, and she couldn’t stop telling me about how happy she was that you were awake. She visited a bit while you were sleeping, but when I texted to tell her you’d woken up, her text back was full of crying emojis.”

Yuuya nods. “Yeah …” He tries again. “You didn’t silence her.”

Now he has Yoko’s serious attention. “What do you mean by that?”

“When Yuuto and Yuuri came, there was something they couldn’t talk about … something that you told them they couldn’t tell me. I know Yuuto wanted to talk about my accident. But you told him – him and Yuuri, actually – that they couldn’t say anything to me. I know why you did that, and it’s OK.” Realising he’s thrown up his hands, Yuuya hastily tugs them back down into his lap.

“It’s fine, Mom. Just – how come you didn’t do the same for Reira?”

If Yuuya had told anyone else this, he would’ve spurred a reaction from them: a change in facial expression, a physical response of some kind. Yoko hasn’t moved an inch though.

“You noticed it …” She shrugs. “You’re right – I told Yuuto and Yuuri to be quiet about your injury. But when they left, it dawned on me … I failed you when I did that. You wanted to know what happened, of course you did. Who am I to keep that secret from you?”

She steps closer, settling down on the edge of Yuuya’s bed. “When I met Reira in the hallway, just before he came to see you, I couldn’t tell him to keep it a secret. I  _ couldn’t.  _ For so long Reira has had to keep secrets; for so long Reira has had to pretend. After everything your friends have done for you, I realised that they should tell you about their lives – and about yours too. These fifteen years, Yuuya … you’ve still been with us, with me.”

“Mom –”

“You see,” Yoko says, reaching out to grab Yuuya’s hand and hold his bony fingers, “I’ve been lucky to be with you for these last fifteen years. I’ve talked to you every single day. But that day you woke up, and I heard your voice for the first time … your broken, yet  _ strong  _ voice … I realised you’d grown up. You’re an adult now, Yuuya. My little boy grew up before my eyes.”

Yoko gets up, turning her back to him – but then she returns, this time holding out two journals bound in leather. On the spines, there are labels:  _ To My Best Friend, Sakaki Yuuya – Part 1  _ and  _ To My Friend, Sakaki Yuuya – Part 2.  _

“These are Yuuto’s journals. He wrote them so that, when you woke up, you wouldn’t be so lost about what happened to you. What you want to know about your injury is in here. I’m certain Yuuto gave you the truth and only the truth.”

Yuuya doesn’t reach out to take them. Yoko hands shake holding them.

“Are you sure you want me to read these?” Yuuya asks.

Yoko nods, teeth in her lip. 

Yuuya takes them with a nod. He keeps them closed though, noticing the quickness in his mother’s breath. He’s never seen her so scared before. Was she like this when she heard of his accident? What is she scared about? The questions race around in his head.

“I’m a little scared,” she admits with a small, sad smile, “but …” A breath of air, a release of anxiety. She looks up at him, and her smile is fuller. “A mother is supposed to support her child when they take an interest in something.” Yoko stands and heads for the door. Over her shoulder, she adds, “I’m going to the vending machines to get something to drink. Be back in a bit.”

“Thank you, Mom.” Yuuya holds the journals tight to his chest. When he hears the door click closed, he flips open the first one. It’s a letter from Yuuto – starting factual and objective, and growing more and more personal. It reveals a side of Yuuto that Yuuya has never seen before – a vulnerable side. The Yuuto Yuuya remembers from his sketchy, distant memories was a stern boy who valued the truth above all else. He had a father who was a lawyer, and so Yuuto believed in evidence.

This boy though … no, this man – he’s softer. Gentler. Yuuto’s voice carries through the pages as someone who has mourned for over a decade over Yuuya’s coma. 

When Yuuya is done, he sets aside the first journal and flips open the second one.

_ To my best friend Sakaki Yuuya: Part Two _

_ Hi Yuuya, this is Yuuto again. In this letter, I want to write to you about what happened after your injury, and after you went to sleep. I bet you have ever more questions about this moment. _

_ You were transported to the Heartland City General Hospital at 19:00 on March 14, 1988. Immediately, you were placed in intensive care and hooked up to so many medical devices that you could barely see there was a human beneath all the wires. Of all those machines, the respirator was the scariest; it meant you weren’t  _ breathing,  _ which to me meant you were dead. You weren’t though. You were alive and fighting, even weakly.  _

_ Thankfully, after a month in intensive care you stabilised and were moved to a general ward. That didn’t mean you were better though. The doctors called your condition a ‘vegetative state,’ from which they believed you were unlikely to come out. During this time, the doctors repeatedly told your mother that your hospital bills could wrack up massive debt. They suggested letting you go … that’s a nice way of saying letting you die. They believed you would never recover. _

_ Yuuri says he understands their reasoning, even though he doesn’t agree with it. The Heartland City General Hospital was small, and it didn’t have the best equipment. It didn’t have long-term care facilities. The doctors were making an informed decision based on both the lack of care they could give, and the support to your mother who would be burdened by your medical bills. _

_ Yoko would have none of it. _

Fuck you,  _ she told all of them. _

_ I have to applaud her strength. I love your mother. _

_ Yoko took matters into her own hands. She researched long-term care facilities all throughout the dimension, searching for a hospital that would take you in. During that time, Reira had been coming religiously to your hospital room to care for you. Your mother was worried that Reira might give up her life for you, so Yoko looked for hospitals far away from Heartland City. I know she wanted to make the best choice for all of us. _

_ In July of 1989, you moved to a hospital in Maiami City that allowed for long-term recuperation. There were no trains to take that would bring you to Maiami City in an hour or two, unlike the train Reira took to come to school in Heartland City. Your mother made sure that we lived our lives without feeling guilty over your injury. _

_ But we couldn’t leave you alone. We couldn’t leave you, our dearest friend, to suffer and struggle. So in middle school, we all came together and thought of how we could help you. Who is ‘we’? Me, Reira, Yuuri, Yuugo, Rin, and Serena. We all had great suggestions, but it was Serena who gave us the best idea: fundraising. Your mother intended to care for you until you woke up, no matter how long it took. I found out that her colleague, Durbe, was helping her pay for some of your bills, but eventually her debt would be too much. So we started fundraising for you … actually, we’re still doing it fifteen years later.  _

_ It was a lot of money to keep you in the hospital though, and after three years of fundraising Yoko told us that it would become too costly. We didn’t give up though, but we made some changes. Your mother took you out of the hospital, quit her full-time job, and moved to a small apartment that you now live in. Yoko began home care. Using the money we fundraised, she rented the respirator you needed. This significantly reduced your hospital costs. _

_ Nine years passed. Nine years of home care, all done by your mother. _

_ Then, in 2001, you started breathing on your own, and you recovered to a sleep state. It was a miracle. I hate to admit that some of us were losing hope, but after so long … and the research supporting that long-term comatose patients don’t wake up … we were worried for you, Yuuya. Your mother still believed you’d wake up though, evident by her constant caregiving. She took care of your body and mind. _

_ I tried. _

_ I’m … sorry. I did come by once while you were in your sleep state. I thought if you heard my voice that maybe you’d wake up. Maybe I was the key. That’s such a childish, stupid thought of mine, but maybe just seeing you reassured me that you were going to be OK. I told you my name, and I read you a story. You used to tell me, ‘We’re allies of justice!’ Your mother laughed when I told her those words, but she said it was just like you to take on the safety of the dimensions. _

_ At that time, I met Reiji. He’s … nice. Quiet, but nice. He told me that you were a miracle for returning to the sleep state, and now Reiji had the utmost confidence in you that you would recover. Reiji respects Yoko – he said it’s all thanks to her care that you recovered so well, and that when you awaken you should be in better health than most comatose patients. _

_ I respect your mother too. She was questioned after you ‘accident.’ I bet she was so exhausted after hearing about you injury, and yet she went through with the trial and came out innocent.  _

_ Sometimes though, I wonder if your mother’s strength comes from you instead of vice versa. You have this … effect on people. Suddenly, just after your accident, Yuuri told us all that he was going to become a doctor. He’d never told us anything about that. You knew that I was going to become a lawyer like my father, but now more than ever I was interested in solving your case. I had a head-start in that. Now, I’m a lawyer working with Durbe. We’re both trying to find the same killer you and I tried to find fifteen years ago. _

_ Do I sound condescending, telling you that my life went so well and I’ve done so much? Am I narcissistic for rubbing my luck and riches in your face?  _

_ I don’t mean to. _

_ Actually … I’m humble. After all, it’s all thanks to you, Yuuya. _

_ I bet you didn’t realise this back then, but to all of us – Yuuri and Yuugo and Reira and Rin and Serena – you were our  _ hero.  _ When we were little, we all looked up to you as our leader. You have a strength to you, Yuuya – your hopeful smile and your strong heart are as loud as your inspiring words. All of us, we’re who we are today because of being your friend. You might think you have to catch up to us … but actually, for fifteen years we’ve been trying to catch up to you. _

_ More than that though, we want to fight with you. Back then, you inspired us with your detective game. We might have thought it was all pretend-play, but you knew something was wrong in Heartland City. You took action by saving Reira from her abusive mother, and by ensuring that no one in the dimension met the condition of the serial kidnapper and killer. I don’t know how you knew this, but you were our saviour. _

_ Yuuya, even today, you are our hero. _

_ I want you to know this. _

_ From your friend, Kamishiro Yuuto.  _

Spots appear on the journal, staining and bleeding the ink across the page. Hurriedly, Yuuya pushes the journal back before his tears wreck even more of the pages. He cups his hands over his face, muffling his sobs. How can he be crying when he’s happy? This doesn’t make sense, and yet the more Yuuya hears the words of his best friend in his mind, the more the tears leak from his eyes. 

These stories … they prove love.

_ I am not alone,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ This letters, these memories … These past fifteen years have just been one big sleep for me. And yet my mom and friends remained by my side, taking care of me for so long. No one left me. _

_ I never realised how proud I am to know that I was never alone. _

_ And yet … _

Yuuya taps his fingers across the first file. Yuuto has told him the clues about Reira and Rin, and the detective gave they all played to save the girls who were alone. However, now that Yuuya has read those, he sees memories that don’t fit into the story. There are memories of going to the museum, and going to the abandoned bus with all the snow – yes, the bus! What happened there though? And saving Reira?

_ Did I truly save Reira? _

Yuuya shakes his head. Maybe Yuuto’s letters are only part of the truth, just like Yoko told him to keep some details a secret. However, perhaps Yoko has never read these journals before? Then would Yuuto have kept the truth from Yuuya, or would he have shared it all? 

Yuuya asks himself, how much of the truth does Yuuto know? Perhaps there are even details Yuuto was never made aware of – truths that are locked away behind the door in Yuuya’s mind. Specifically, the murderer. Yuuto says that it’s as if Yuuya knew there would be a murderer in Heartland City … but how did Yuuya know? Who gave him that intel?

_ Why did I create the detective game? How did I know, even before Yuuto and his lawyer-father, that there would be kidnappings in Heartland City? And why Reira? Yuuto acts as if I saved Reira from her abusive household … but there’s more to that.  _

_ Someone  _ else  _ was after Reira, weren’t they?  _


	55. Chapter 55

Back to physio. 

Back to pain.

Yuuya drags himself forward, limbs screaming in agony. The physiotherapist has told him time and time again that his muscle strength and flexibility are improving, but to Yuuya the exercises only seem to prove that he can’t even make it twenty steps across the room. The equipment still supports most of his weight, so all he feels like he's doing is dragging his empty body across a room. 

“You’re doing great! Keep walking!”

_ I can barely even talk,  _ Yuuya thinks, teeth sinking so deeply into his lip that it bleeds.  _ I’m in so much pain. I’m so weak – _

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees someone else. She’s been coming to the gym every day, only she sits on the bench and doesn’t say a word. Her orange eyes follow him though; she sees every single one of his painful, grueling steps. 

Yuuya clenches his teeth and makes it to the end of the course. He tumbles to his knees, pressing his cheek onto the cold floor. Sweat drips down his face and back, pooling on the ground. It’s disgusting how tired he gets from a single walk to the end of the bars, but above him the physiotherapist congratulates him more and more. They hold out a towel and a water bottle for him, but Yuuya’s arms are too weak to even stretch out and grab either of them.

Behind the physiotherapist though, he spots the little girl’s mouth drop open. She must be in elementary school. It’s hard to tell her age from this distance, but around her head is a green scarf tied in a big bow at the top. 

She finds his eyes, traps him in her gaze – and smiles. It’s an easy, gentle smile, free of pain or exhaustion.

Yuuya slumps down against the ground, letting his lips untwist. He closes his eyes and a takes a deep, relieving breath, before he pulls himself up into a sitting position, wincing at the pain of his core muscles, and accepts the water bottle with a shaky hand.

“Your improvement is remarkable,” the physiotherapist keeps telling him. Noticing where his eyes are focused, they glances back at the little girl. “Kotori, do you see how strong he’s getting?”

Kotori nods so enthusiastically Yuuya thinks she might fall off the bench. “Yes, oh yes! You sure are strong, mister!”

“ … Yuuya.”

“Mister Yuuya!”

“Just Yuuya,” he says to the floor. The physiotherapist comes by with his wheelchair.They help him up to his feet and into his chair, where Yuuya gratefully sinks into the seat and rests his weary arms on the armrests. He closes his eyes for a moment more, relishing in the comfort of his chair. 

_ Tap, tap, tap. _

Yuuya opens his eyes. Across from him, Kotori comes to his side … only she has a walker. Yuuya had thought it was someone else’s that they left on the sidelines, but now he can see that Kotori’s legs are thin and wobbly like a newborn animal’s. She keeps walking closer to him though, grinning.

“My name is Kotori, Yuuya! It’s a pleasure to meet you!”

Hope and optimism seems to radiate from her very core. Now that she’s closer, Yuuya can see that the green scarf hides her hair loss. He can only imagine what’s happened to her at the hospital, but her smile doesn’t waver as she parks her walker in front of him.

“Want to go outside?”

The last time Yuuya remembers going outside was fifteen years ago, and it was snowy and cold then. Today, it’s warm and sunny. Through the open window Yuuya hears the sounds of birds chirping and people chatting. The courtyard is a common place for patients to relax. Whenever Yuuya has had physio, he’s heard the people outside. How he’s longed to step outdoors …

“Well?” Kotori says.

Yuuya shrugs. “Sure. I’m done my appointment anyways.” He takes the towel and drapes it over his neck. His muscles aren’t strong enough for him to push the wheelchair yet, so the physiotherapist has to help him get outdoors. They bring him down a concrete ramp and out onto the soft grass of the garden. Thick trees canopy sections of the grass, but the warm sunlight still manages to seep through and light up the courtyard. All along the pathways are flower beds and potted plants bursting with a rainbow of coloured flora. The birds’ singing has grown louder too.

Kotori follows behind him and parks herself down on the ground next to him. The physiotherapist leaves them after that, though Yuuya suspects there is video supervision of them in case either of them is injured.

When they’re alone together, Kotori clams up. She draws her legs closer to her body and rests her chin on them. From the corner of the eye, she glances up at Yuuya.

“You’ve never been outside here before, right?”

“Yeah,” Yuuya says. He grins, then chuckles to himself. “I’ve been asleep for a long time … fifteen years.”

“That is a long time,” Kotori admits. She raises her eyes up towards the canopy of the trees, thick with branches and leaves. “Soon, I won’t be able to go out here for a while. Next month, I’m going to have an operation. I get bone marrow from my sister … for the cancer.”

_ Oh.  _ For some reason, Yuuya knows more about cancer than he supposes he should considering his coma. He winces though, and Kotori must have seen his expression for she folds into herself even more, drawing her body into a tight ball.

“I’m scared.”

“I bet it’s a big operation,” Yuuya says. “I’d be scared too.” When those words only seem to close her up, Yuuya adds, “You’re brave for having that operation.”

“I think you’re just being nice, Yuuya.”

He chuckles despite himself. “Maybe I am. But you know what I always say when I’m scared? Have hope.”

Kotori raises her face from her hands. “Have … hope?”

“There was someone who told me that when I was little, back before my own injury that put me in a coma. I don’t remember much about him, but he must have been a nice person if I remember such powerful words. He told me though … that whenever I’m scared, that I should have hope and take a step forward with courage. I guess I kept those words with me for fifteen years.”

“You were asleep for a long time …” Kotori says. “Is that the only thing you remember?”

Her words come out surprisingly strong and clear.

“I remember more … sometimes.” Yuuya shakes his head. “I think what I remember most is the smiles of my friends and mother. Sometimes they’re hazy, but I know that for fifteen years I wasn’t alone.” He turns towards Kotori and smiles. “Kotori, when you go for your operation, please don’t think you’re alone in this too. Don’t forget to smile too – you’re strong.”

_ Flash! _

Yuuya’s vision disappears for a moment, and when he raises his hand he sees two people peeking out of the bushes with cameras. They have wide, lecherous smiles and Yuuya sees their hawk-like eyes through the lens. 

The first one speaks up, loud enough for Yuuya to hear: “What a headline:  _ Grade School Boy Trapped in Adult’s Body Digs Little Girls.” _

The words freeze him. These guys, they’re the reporters who Yoko told him about. They’ve found him again, and with Kotori too! Yuuya opens his mouth to tell them, but how can he challenge anything they say? And they got the picture too – soon the tabloids will be full of –

_ Crash!  _

The first reporter tumbles over the bushes, knocked forward by a fist. The second reporter swings around to see who’s assaulted them, but then the fist returns and punches the guy square in the face; the hit even tosses the second guy over the bushes too. The cameras go tumbling from their hands, and no sooner are they out of the reporters’ reaches does the mysterious saviour come around the bushes and drive her heel into the lens of the camera.

“Are you stupid?” she screeches. “How dare you use a camera for such a lewd purpose?”

_ Those words … who said that to me before? _

The girl drives the heel of her foot down once more, this time right on the first reporter’s face. Now both of them have bloody noses, but the girl pays them no heed. Her face is twisted in anger, the same colour of pink as her hair tied back in pigtails. 

“Get out of here!”

The reporters go scrabbling away, holding their faces and groaning in agony. Yuuya can only imagine how much that hurt, but he’s become too focused by the girl. She looks … familiar. The hair, the smile, the persistence and energy and enthusiasm and –

In his mind, Yuuya sees the locked door begin to open, the lock turning –

_ I know her. _

The more Yuuya stares, the more he begins to think he  _ does  _ know her. He feels memories begin to surface, hazy shapes and figures. None of his memories are concrete, but her voice, her smile – it seems so familiar to Yuuya, like just a few weeks ago he might have seen her.

_ Did I go to school with you?  _ he thinks, but then she must have been younger than him and in a different class, and besides … she looks familiar as she is, not like with Yuuto or Yuuri who he remembered as their elementary school selves. The mysterious girl isn’t a nurse either, or someone who he would have seen in the hospital.

_ Who is she? _

The girl bows forward. “I’m so sorry that happened to your, sir!” she says. 

Yuuya freezes. She doesn’t know him, it seems.

Having left her belongings back where she was standing before she beat up the reporters, the girl heads back to gather up her bag and jacket. She looks over her shoulder, back at him, and something in her eyes urges Yuuya to speak up.

“H-hey,” he says, tongue heavy. “Sorry – yeah, no … I should be saying sorry, I think.” He rubs his head, chuckling. “After all, it’s thanks to you that those men won’t publish a dirty article about me.”

The girl waves him off. “I wouldn’t have let anyone get away with something so disgusting.” 

Yuuya notices how she holds her hand up to her chest, and he raises an eyebrow. “Is your hand OK? You decked those guys pretty hard.” 

She just laughs and rolls her eyes to the side where the two reporters have painstakingly picked themselves up off the floor and hobbled away. The broken remains of their cameras lie on the soft grass, glass shattered everywhere. The girl made quick work of stopping those reporters.

She holds out her hand for Yuuya to see, flexing each of her fingers. “Feels fine to me – I bet those guys over there have  _ way  _ worse bruises, though I don’t care how much pain they’re in. Besides, I’m glad I hit them so hard; I doubt they’ll press charges considering what they were doing.” Blowing on her knuckles, she adds, “I did good work today, didn’t I?”

Yuuya chuckles. “Yeah, I guess you did.” 

“I always say to myself ‘do my best to take care of yourself and others.’”

_ Those words … they’re familiar too. Who are you? _

But his mind gives him nothing, no clues or details. Yuuya swallows and smiles at her. A strength seems to have manifested in his legs, and though his chair rests behind him, Yuuya doesn’t think his legs will give out at any moment. 

“Those are powerful words to live by,” he tells her.

She doesn’t miss a beat: “Really? See, I have some friends who say ‘mind your own business.’”

“You just saved my life, in a way,” Yuuya says. “I think it would be rude of me to tell you that after what you just did for me.”

The girl holds out her hand, curled tight in a fist. The skin around her knuckles is still red from the hit. “Would you believe me if I said I tried not to break their noses, and that I slowed down my punch just before making contact?”

“No.” 

Her lips quirk up. “Thought so.” Then her smile widens, and she holds up both hands. “I’ve got a passion for the arts – photography, music, drama; you name it, I love it. I can’t forgive anyone who would use their camera for such a lewd purpose. They even had good ones – like geez, go take pictures of the sunset or something. Besides, the camera, and the arts … they represent my dream.”

Yuuya blinks, stunned by her words.  _ A dream? Why is that familiar?  _ He tries to pry it from his head and focus on Kotori who asks him, “Do you want to sit down, mister?” but the words stick like glue in his mind.

_ I want to know her dream. _

“What’s your … dream?” Yuuya asks.

Cheeking growing red, the girl brings her hands to her heart. “I want to have a voice that speaks a hundred languages. Dance, singing, photography, art, acting – those are all ways to tell a story. When you dance, you tell a particular story. And you can try to tell that same story using vocals or photography, but it’ll be a little bit different. I … love that. I want my voice to speak a hundred artistic languages.”

Yuuya swallows. Her answer … he’s been waiting a long time for that answer, hasn’t he? Was this an answer he wanted before he fell asleep, or an answer to one of his missing memories? Something about her words makes him smile.  _ She  _ makes him smile. 

And then memories hit him likes bricks, dragging his brain down and down into his subconscious. Yuuya sees balloons and warehouses and trips around a city called Maiami City, only he’s never been to these places before but somehow … he has. And there’s the smell of pizza in a big, industrial kitchen, and little scooters with the logo  _ Maiami Pizza  _ on them. Those are familiar too … but how? Then there’s a fire – a big, roaring fire in a house with a great, glass room. Yuuya runs into the room, decorated in pink with instruments and art materials lying all over the floor. There’s a sign on the door that says Yuzu, but no one is inside. The smell of smoke fills his lungs and nose quickly though, but before Yuuya can escape –

He jumps out of that memory, and then he’s on a bike with a girl – no,  _ that girl.  _ Her pink, pigtailed hair blows in the wind as she sits behind him, chatting amiably about how she’s almost done university and can’t wait to start her dream, only she tells him her dream is a secret.

_ But … you told me … _

He sees Yoko in the memory, only she looks thinner, more like his old memories of her before his coma. She’s in an apartment, a familiar place that has no decorations or furniture or anything. It’s such a sad, dreary apartment, but Yoko livens it up. He smells curry coming from the pots and pans on the stovetop; nearby, the rice cooker steams.

Then … then there are sirens. Yuuya blinks and he’s at the river – where though? Yuuya glances around, but he can only look through the corners of his eyes. He’s under the bridge, and the surroundings look to be in Maiami City. Behind him, someone keeps screaming his name. In fact, their voice sounds so close that they could very well be screaming to him in the  _ present  _ too, only Yuuya is tired and he can’t even lift his head. 

_ “Yuuya, I’m sorry! I promise, they didn’t follow me! I swear I came alone! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Yuuya! Please!” _

_ You know my name,  _ Yuuya thinks. He feels his eyes grow heavy and he stumbles forward. Hands catch the back of his shirt, but by this point Yuuya’s head has spun too much and he can’t tell if he’s dreaming or awake, if this is real or a hallucination.

_ You know my name … Yuzu. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> raise your hand if you're happy Yuzu is back <3  
> also thank you for your patience as i keep missing posting dates ^^;; i do have the next chapter edited and its title card prepared, so hopefully you should see another post on Friday! ^^


	56. Chapter 56

"Amazing!”

“So this is what it looks like from the top of the world, huh?”

“Where does the sky end … and the world begin?”

Yuuya asks himself that same question. At the top of Duel Academia, all the way up the mountain, is a plateau where tourists can look out and see the world around them. It’s a breaktaking, postcard-worthy shot of Academia’s cityscape stretching up and disappearing into the starry nighttime sky. Speckled through the air are dashes of blue and purple from what Yuuya can only suppose are the clouds and the reflection of the ocean in the sky. The more he glances around, the more he realises he can’t even begin to take in the beauty of this sight.

“Takes your breath away, doesn’t it?” Next to him, Yuuto stands with his arms up on the bar encircling the plateau. He has on a pair of earmuffs and a trench coat, looking rather dapper and dashing compared to Yuuya with his Odd-Eyes goggles on his head and his green handmade scarf. His chilly, bare hands are tucked into the sleeve of his jacket.

“I bet,” Yuugo says, jumping up and sitting on the bar, “that if we took a picture and sold it we could make a  _ million dollars!” _

“How much is a million dollars?” Yuuya asks. And then he laughs. “But we don’t have a camera anyways, Yuugo, and a simple camera can’t even capture all the beauty of the lights.”

The stars glitter on the surface of the ocean, creating a wide panorama of the galaxy for Yuuya to admire. It looks as if the sky and the sea have blended together, creating a mirage of glowing lights. 

“I love this trip,” Yuuto tells him. “I’m glad, for our final year of elementary school, we got to see such a beautiful sight. It makes you wonder what other beautiful sights we’ll see in our future, right?”

Yuuya nods. 

The teachers gather them back together shortly afterwards, and they head off the plateau and to a school bus parked on the road. They all cram inside the bus, sharing seats with a friend. Then the bus takes off down the hill, only it doesn’t travel far – just to a great, castle-like building that Yuuya recognises as Duel Academia. It’s even grander up close, with walls as tall as giants and stained-glass windows painted with duel monsters. This ancient school closed down centuries ago, but now it’s a tourist location.

As the bus heads into Duel Academia and towards a parking lot, Yuuya watches out the window. These sights … they’re familiar somehow. Yuuto and Yuugo are acting as if they’ve never seen it before, noses pressed to the window and eagerly taking in the archaic sight. But despite how magnificent and breathtaking this trip is, Yuuya feels a sense of deja vu. 

_ I don’t think this is the first time I’ve been here before. _

The bus parks at the entrance to the school where a great, wooden door stands. Yuuya and the others clamber off the bus and line up together. Then the teacher takes them into the building. While the exterior is made of solid, grey stone appearing black in the dead of night, the inside is decorated in soft, cream wallpaper and russet-red wooden accents. A burgundy rug guides them down each hallway; on the walls, Yuuya spots paintings and pictures depicting duelists locked in battle with their duel monsters.

“They say this place used to be an ancient dueling school,” Yuuto says. “The card game still remains today – did you know that, Yuuya?”

For some reason, Yuuya does, but he still shakes his head. He follows the teachers further into the belly of the city, until eventually they stop before two doors, one on either side of the hallway. “Girls on the left, boys on the right,” the teacher says. 

A girl steps ahead before everyone else – a girl with long, purple hair tied up with a yellow elastic. Yuuya’s eyes widen, but before he can open his mouth Yuugo pushes him ahead, saying, “Go on, Yuuya, I want to see our rooms!”

The dormitories they’ll be staying in are large, open rooms. There are several windows here, even though Yuuya thought he was in the middle of the castle. Futons have been laid out all along the floor for them; Yuugo dashes ahead to claim his spot first, and he spreads out his arms and legs and says, “Yuuto, Yuuya, sleep next to me!” Yuuya brings his belongings over to his bed, taking out his blanket and pyjamas. On the other side of him, Yuuto brings out a flashlight.

Yuugo snatches it up at once, flicking it on and holding it by his face. “I think,” he says with a cheeky grin, “we should tell ghost stories.”

“But you don’t even like ghost stories,” Yuuto says, holding his hand out for it. “I doubt you want to get frightened on our first night here.”

“I wouldn’t be scared,” Yuugo says. “I’m not a baby.”

“I’d be a bit scared if I thought ghosts haunted this castle,” Yuuya admits. He curls his legs up on his bed and draws his blanket closer to him. 

“Besides,” Yuuto says, “we have to be up early tomorrow for the trip into Academia – we’re only staying here one night. I think we should get some rest, and that’s unlikely to happen if we scare each other by telling scary ghost stories. I don’t even know any of those stories.”

“Same,” Yuuya says. He rolls his head down onto his pillow, sighing deeply. A prickling sensation tells him that he’s  _ already  _ asleep, but still he rests himself down on his bed and lets the warm, sleepy sensation take over. Just before he falls asleep, he mumbles to Yuugo and Yuuto, “I hope … we have fun together.”

* * *

Yuuya doesn’t hear it from his friends first. One minute he’s admiring the streets of Academia, wandering and window-shopping, wondering what he’s supposed to be doing in this dream-memory, and the next minute some classmate of his comes running around the corner screaming, “Yuugo got in a fight! Yuugo got in a fight!”

His feet move before his body realises it. Yuuya charges down the streets, down the alley that the kid came from. He should have asked for directions, but for some reason Yuuya knows where he needs to go. And sure enough, Yuuya finds Yuugo in the alley, standing across from a group of kids in fancy, black school uniforms – Academia Private uniforms.

Yuugo has picked a fight with private school kids. 

Yuuya’s hands ball in fists, ready to react, when he spots Yuuto standing behind Yuugo, one hand on his friend’s shoulder. Never before has Yuuto looked ready to fight; his eyebrows draw into a point in the middle of his forehead, and his hair stands on end. In front of Yuuto, Yuugo has his fists drawn.

Then Yuuto pulls Yuugo back. “Stop it, Yuugo – leave them alone.”

“Those fuckers,” Yuugo says. “I’m allowed to be here.”

“Go back home, squirt,” one of the bullies says, drawing his lips up in a sneer. He looks older, perhaps in sixth or seventh grade. Despite being one of the tallest in his class, Yuugo looks like a runt next to this bully.

Yuugo doesn’t back down though. His shoulders rise and he growls low in his throat.

He lunges.

In the blink of an eye, Yuuto pulls Yuugo back down and onto the ground, stepping in front of Yuugo. At the same time, the bully throws a punch. It lands squarely on Yuuto's head, right at the tension lines of his forehead. Yuuto goes down at once, but on the ground he kicks out at the bully’s legs. Meanwhile, having recovered, Yuugo lunges again. This time he succeeds in tackling the bully to the ground. Yuugo’s fists move like rockets, slamming again and again into the bully’s face.

“Stop!” Yuuya says. He dashes forward, pulling Yuuto back and away from the fight. He can see where Yuuto got hurt – right across his forehead, blood drips along his nose and into his eyes. Yuuya knows just enough about first aid to know that he needs to stanch the bleeding, and quickly, so he grabs Yuuto’s hand, pulls his sleeve over it, and then presses it into the wound.

Yuuto hisses in pain.

“Leave that there,” Yuuya says, “even if it hurts. You’re bleeding, and we’ll get help.” Yuuya looks over to Yuugo, who, having gotten off the guy, is now delivering several strong kicks.

“Yuugo, stop!” Yuuya says. “Help me take care of Yuuto.”

Yuugo gives the bully one more kick, spits on the ground, and then walks away. He comes and crouches next to Yuuto, who holds his head and keeps his eye closed. At once, Yuugo’s face softens and he falls to his knees, pressing his forehead down to the cement. “I’m sorry, Yuuto!” he wails. “It’s my fault you got hurt.”

Opening one eye, Yuuto stares at them. “It was pretty stupid of you,” he says. “But … it could have been worse.” Adjusting his grip on his head, Yuuto winces. “If the teachers find out about this, they’ll know about the fight. We’ve got to hide this.”

“But you’re bleeding!” Yuuya says. “We need help.”

Yuuto begins to shake his head, but winces at the slight movement. “Doesn’t matter – the teachers can’t find out about it.”

Yuuto’s head injury looks serious though. Yuuya worries at the corner of his lip. He can’t just let Yuuto keep his sleeve to his forehead – they need something to stop the bleeding. Whenever he got a cut, there was a cream Yoko always used to put on his wounds. He fell quite a bit as a child, and she had a remedy for it every time.

_ “Thankfully, Yuuri knew how to stanch the blood with vaseline, and that way the teacher didn’t find out.” _

_ Yuuri?  _ Yuuya thinks. _ Where’s … Yuuri?  _ He looks around, but it’s just him and Yuugo here. 

“How … about vaseline?” he says to Yuuto.

Despite the obvious pain on Yuuto’s face, he still smiles through it. “You’re a lifesaver, Yuuya.”

_ Me … not Yuuri …  _ Yuuya looks around, down the roads and in the windows of the buildings, but Yuuri is nowhere in sight.

A dark, festering thought grows in Yuuya’s mind. 

_ According to Yuuto’s journals, I fell into a coma during fifth grade. How come, then, I have this memory? I shouldn’t be on this trip – Yuuri should be. How come I’m here and he’s not? Where did Yuuri go? Why haven’t Yuuto and Yuugo mentioned him? We were all friends; surely, they’d remember if someone is missing.  _

_ But then wait … Why is it, in this dream, that I have more memories? _

_ Yuuri … died, didn’t he?  _

Yuuya blinks, and before him is a long, narrow hallway – his school hallway, with its big floor to ceiling windows. Yuuya drags his fingers along the window – and then he jumps at the noise of screeching and screaming coming from one of the doors up ahead. It’s his classroom door, slightly ajar. He can’t see inside it, not yet, but Yuuya rushes down the hallway, feet slamming on the tile yet silent compared to the shouting going on. He makes it to the door and peers through the slit.

Inside is a woman with an old, stern face. Maybe, during another time, that face may have been kind and smiley, but it’s now ripped in rage, tears streaming from her narrow, pink eyes. She takes deep, gasping breath, and then shouts, “You want them to forget him?”

Yuuya swallows. Forget who? Forget …

“Removing Yuuri from his friends’ memories? Not talking about him? You want to keep quiet about his death?”

The word sends shivers down Yuuya’s spine. He knows the details though: that’s why Yuuri wasn’t on the field trip, even though Reira talked about a time when he was. What happened then? Why are those two memories there? Yuuya … knows about this though. This is a real, honest memory.

Next to Yuuri’s mother sits Yuuya’s own mother, Yoko, with her hands folded in front of her and her gaze firmly focused on the tabletop. “Mrs. Tenjouin,” Yoko says, “please forgive us –”

“I get that you care about your kids, Ms. Sakaki,” she says, though her tone drips poison, “but I care about my son and he was just murdered.”

_ Yuuri … was murdered?  _ Yuuya swallows. If he was murdered, then what happened? What …

And then the scene jumps ahead, and suddenly Yoko is holding him, her strong arms wrapped around his quivering body. Yuuya feels tears in his eyes and snot in his nose, and both of them must be streaming down his face. Everything in Yuuya feels like it’s falling apart all at once, and he can barely get a breath in or out.

“M – mu – mu –”

Yoko pushes on his head, just enough so that his face mushes into her shoulder and cuts short his words. Yuuya appreciates it; he heaves another sob, burying himself further into his mother’s hold.

“I’m so sorry, Yuuya –”

“I could have saved him!” Yuuya says. “I could have – I should have –” He yanks himself away from Yoko, eyes wild nose running running, tears streaming. “Mama, look – I mean – Yuuri –”

“Yuuya,” Yoko says, once more drawing him closer, carefully bringing his body against her chest, his head against her shoulder. She tucks his head under her chin. With her hands, she draws designs in his back. Yuuya can feel his mother’s steady heartbeat in his ear. 

“Yuuya,” she says again, “stop telling yourself you could have or should have done anything. That is in the past. What’s important is now, and what you  _ can  _ do today and tomorrow. I love you very much.” She hugs him tightly. “I will support you no matter what, Yuuya.”

With his face buried into Yoko’s shoulder, he can’t see or do much. Yuuya’s mind goes blank for a second, wrought with worry and agony, and then he remembers the other face in the room. There was a third woman there that day when Yuuri’s mother was shouting at them, another mother with red hair curled up high on her head in the shape of a heart, and a stern, unforgiving face.

Akaba Reira’s mother.

_ Right,  _ Yuuya thinks, thoughts as hollow as his abused voice,  _ Reira is dead … too. That day, when I eavesdropped on everyone, Akaba Himika was there. She didn’t say much though. She didn't seem angry or sad that her daughter was dead. I wonder if she wanted to forget not only about Yuuri’s death, but about her own child’s. I bet she didn’t want anyone to remember Reira, not even herself. _

_ But then … _

Yuuya blinks. He’s no longer with his mother, but somewhere else, searching through his thoughts and memories, the ones with Yuuri and Reira, and the ones without. 

_ How come I have two different sets of memories? I have school memories from sixth grade, when I should have been in a coma … only I wasn’t. I was alive and well, and Reira and Yuuri were dead. In those memories, our families mourned. There was another girl too, with short green hair. Her name was Rin – and she died too. There are memories in my mind where those three kids – kids my age – died. _

_ And yet, not that long ago, Yuuri and Reira came to see me? And in Yuuto’s journals he mentioned Rin helping fundraise, so that means she’s alive too. If they’re alive, then why do I remember them dying? Why do I have memories of my friends’ deaths? Does anyone else know this?  _

_ No … Yuuto said I saved my friends. He said there was a serial kidnapper in Heartland City, a murderer. I bet that’s the same murderer from those memories, the one that killed Yuuri and Reira. But then I stopped that; I saved my friends. _

_ I have two sets of memories then. I have memories of my childhood, of my friends from Heartland Academy who lived on without me. I have memories in the future too, with a pink-haired girl named Yuzu. I have memories of being in the hospital, and waking up and seeing my friends all grown up with fancy careers. These memories though, they don’t all fit together. How come? Is there something in my memories that links this all together?  _

Yuuya feels something bowl him over. His head spins like he’s caught in a tube travelling all the way to the centre of the earth. He feels something slick and sticky slide over his body, only his eyes don’t work well enough for him to register what’s on him.

Then his eyes open and …

There, lying on the floor, is his mother. She’s on her side, arm stretched out in front of her. There’s a knife sticking out of her back, buried into her skin. Blood seeps and oozes around the weapon and trails down her back and waist, gathering on the floor. Her chest is still; her eyes are open, glassy, motionless –

Yuuya comes to with a heaving gasp, coughing and choking. He tries to catch his breathing, but every sensation in his body has awoken and restarted all at once. He feels like an old computer trying to reboot and reopen every program in its system; he blinks his eyes, strains his ears, and breathes through his nose and mouth. Quickly, he realises that there is a breathing catheter in his nose to assist with his oxygen. His eyes and mouth work though, as does his movement. 

He swings his head to the side, groaning in protest. His joints are achy from underuse, but it’s more movement than he thought he could manage. His eyes catch on something hanging by his bed – a thousand paper cranes, swarmed together in a hive-like shape. Their colours blend into one another to create a kaleidoscopic sight.

“Kotori made those for you. She brought them by last week.”

Slowly, Yuuya rolls his head to the other side. He stretches his eyes to see out of the corner of them, so that he can get his first sight of his mother even before he’s properly looking at her. She's lying next to his bed on a chair, unshed tears in her verdant eyes. She cups his face with one hand, and with the other reaches out to hold onto Yuuya’s fingers.

“Good morning, Yuuya,” she whispers.

“Good … morning,” Yuuya says back, voice clipped and choked and  _ broken,  _ as if his lungs aren’t even strong enough to make out a couple syllables. 

Yoko smiles though, resting her head on his hospital cot and gazing up at him through her thick bangs. She looks like she needs a haircut, or perhaps it’s just been so long since he’s seen her. “How are you feeling?” she says.

“G-good.” Yuuya clears his throat. He has his voice – he can ask her questions! “How long … did I … sleep?”

“How many days? Hm, I think … 386 days. I think that’s what Dr. Reiji said when he last came in.”

Yuuya gapes like a fish out of water.  _ How long?!  _ he wants to say, but his voice has disappeared and his joints won’t cooperate with anything he says or does. 

“Today’s date is May 11, 2005.” Yoko reads it off her mobile phone, which creates shadows and highlights along her face. Yuuya can see deep bags under her eyes and tired lines all along her round, drooping cheeks. She sets the phone down afterwards, still staring at him with that same wistful expression. “Is it hard for you to talk, Yuuya?”

Yuuya blinks his eyes first, and then lifts his head up; gravity does the rest for him, and a moment later he drops his chin down.

Yoko hums under her breath. “I thought so,” she says at first. Then she smiles at him. “You woke up before, did you know that? It was 2003 first, but you weren’t awake for much of that. You woke up again in February 2004. Do you remember waking up either of those times?” She gives him just a moment to blink or grunt, and Yuuya does both at the same time. Her smile widens. “I’m glad your memory is working. When you first woke up, you couldn’t move your muscles, and you underwent rehabilitation. We’ll talk to Dr. Reiji tomorrow and talk about physical rehabilitation again, but I think you’re better off now than before.”

“I’m … b-better,” Yuuya says.

“That’s right,” Yoko says. “You’re getting better, darling.” She reaches over him and presses her chapped lips to his forehead. With her hands, she touches his eyelids and carefully moves them down over his eyes. “You need to rest,” she says, voice as soft as cotton. “It is early in the morning, and we should both sleep some more.”

“B-but –” Yuuya tries to say.

A finger rests on his lips. “I will still be here when you wake up. I will  _ always  _ be here, Yuuya.”

* * *

Yuuya remembers Reiji. He’s a quiet, contemplative man, kind but not touchy-feely, sincere but not gushing, caring but not doting. His presence doesn’t command a lot of space for someone Yuuya thinks  _ should  _ gather attention wherever he walks, so as he steps around the room talking to Yuuya about what has happened since he fell into another coma, Yuuya has to keep his focus sharp or else he loses concentration of what Reiji is saying. 

Reiji has a lot to say too. He talks to Yuuya about how stable his progress has been since his coma. According to Reiji’s reports, Yuuya lost very little muscle strength or muscle memory – many of the skills he obtained prior to his minor coma. 

That doesn’t mean he’s better though. Yuuya sits in his bed for most of the day, gazing outside. He has memories of being outdoors though. The little girl he talked to before his accident, Kotori, took him out to the gardens. Yuuya remembers following her around, and meeting … Yuzu. 

Yuuya remembers Yuzu. In his mind, he can picture her cherubic face peeking through her pink bangs. Her hair was done up in twin tails high on her head, fastened with blue clips. She was in a school uniform that day, but in his other memories he’s seen her in a work outfit and a casual dress. He has memories of her smiling and crying and shouting; she’s a woman of a thousand emotions, and with a voice powerful enough to strike down even a god.

“Yuuya?”

“Yes, sorry,” Yuuya says, rubbing the back of his head. 

“All good, just wanted to make sure I have your attention before I begin talking.” Reiji takes a seat on the bed. Yuuya sees this out of the corner of his eyes though; his focus is still on the world outside. He can hear the birds chirping and sees the tree leaves shaking. It looks like such a beautiful day out there that it feels criminal to be stuck inside.

“Yuuya –”

“Hey … Dr. Reiji.” Yuuya glances back to his doctor. “Sorry to interrupt but … I want to go for a walk.”

Reiji doesn’t say anything. He stares down his thin nose at Yuuya. The stare makes Yuuya feel self-conscious, and so he curls into himself.

“I can do that … can I?”

He expects an immediate answer. However, Reiji takes a minute to think, chewing on his lip and then settling for a neutral expression. “That depends on you, I suppose,” he says. “If you work hard at physio, and if you body has the strength to recover, then I suppose –”

“I can do it then,” Yuuya says. “I mean, sorry – I cut you off there. It’s just … I want to walk.”

“You were in a wheelchair before your last coma,” Reiji explains. “You were undergoing physio –”

“I remember.” Yuuya apologises once more for cutting Reiji off. The thoughts he has on his mind thought can’t stay with him. An urge bubbles inside him to spit it all out – everything he remembers, everything he’s forgotten. Would Reiji believe in inchoate babbling about different sets of memories? Would Reiji believes that he’s remembered all he supposes he can? But then Yuuya holds his tongue back.

“Dr. Reiji, I don’t want my wheelchair. I want a walker, something that will make me use my feet.” A smile flickers on Yuuya’s face, and he looks back to the window. If he stretches his neck, he can see the edges of a concrete path weaving in and out of the garden. “I want to go for a walk.”

Never quick to respond, Reiji pauses for a moment. Then: “Would you like to go for a walk now, Yuuya?”

“Yes.”

Reiji comes to the edge of the bed and brings down the guard rails on one side of the bed. No longer requiring a heart monitor, a breathing tube, or an IV, Yuuya doesn’t have to work around wires as he scooches himself to the edge of the bed. His legs feel clumsy when he swings them around, and when he dangles them to the edge of the bed he wonders if, when he sets his feet down, he’ll fall to the floor.

Before Yuuya can panic, Reiji sets a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to get the walker for you. I’ll be right back.”

He returns with one – a silver contraption with four small wheels. Reiji parks the walker right at the side of Yuuya’s bed. Carefully, Yuuya reaches out and takes hold of the handrails. He leans further off the bed, transferring his weight to his legs. At first, he feels immediate pain and tension, and he backpedals before he ends up on the floor. Reiji notes his surprise, but he doesn't move a muscle.

“I’m … fine,” Yuuya says. Then, more confidently: “I’m going to walk.”

He tries again, sliding his bottom off of the bed and easing the weight onto his legs. His arms take some of his weight too as he holds himself upright. Unsure where to distribute the weight, Yuuya feels his energy sap at once.

“If you can,” Reiji says, “release some of the strength in your arms. You’ll tire easily if you try to hold yourself up.”

Yuuya relaxes his arms. His feet settle on the floor. He’s … standing. Then he steps forward, one at a time, across the room. His legs budge a bit, refusing to bend in places and aching every time he makes a step. Still though, Yuuya sighs in relief at the freedom it’s given him. Outside of his room, he can gaze down the hallway and see the other rooms, and the reception area of this ward. Just behind him stands Reiji, hands in the pockets of his scrubs.

“Will you be going outside?” Reiji says. 

“Yes,” Yuuya says.

Slowly, Yuuya shuffles down the hallway. He tries to take larger steps, but his inner leg muscles protest that kind of stretching. The more he walks though, the easier it becomes. The rhythm returns to his mind, like a dance routine he’s forgotten from long ago. When he makes it to the elevator, Yuuya pauses and lets out a sigh of relief. There’s no seat attached to this walker, so he has to remain upright the entire time.

But Yuuya doesn’t give up. He holds his head high when he makes it to the ground level, all the way out the doors and into the sunshine. When the sun first glows on his face, Yuuya closes his eyes in bliss. It feels like gentle, soothing hands on his face. Tendrils of a breeze ruffle his red and green hair. There are new smells out here – flowers, mainly, but also the subtle hint of the salty sea. On the other side of the building, Yuuya supposes it might head towards the ocean.

From the door outside, Yuuya takes a ramp down to the pavement, where he begins to walk through the yard. The memories from before his last coma are fresh in his mind: he and Kotori walked through this same garden together. This is where Yuzu appeared too, and where she punched the pervy reporters trying to get photos of him.

Yuuya glances over his shoulder, back at Reiji. Reiji remains by the door, leaning against the wall. He has his phone to his ear, speaking into it softly. Yuuya strains his ears to hear what is being said.

“Yes, I’m aware of who Sakaki Yuuya is.”

_ My name? Is Dr. Reiji talking to Mom? _

“ … my client is not a ‘guinea pig’ so I’m afraid I can’t help you.”

_ Nope … “Who was that?” _

Reiji glances up, one eyebrow raised.

Yuuya snaps his mouth shut, cheeks growing red. He spoke that last part aloud!

If Reiji is bothered, he doesn’t speak up though. He flips closed his phone and pockets it. “I’m not actually sure who that was,” he says. Though Yuuya wants to believe Reiji is lying, something in his tone makes him sound sincere. “That man called me before though, asking if you would be interested in some testing for patients recently come out of a coma. I’m wary of testing not recognised through the Maiami City Hospital, so I’ve declined.”

“I think you’re right,” Yuuya says. “Sorry for prying though.”

“It’s no problem.”

“I’m going to take a lap now.” Yuuya turns his back and begins to walk. His recent steps have felt easier, as if his body is meant to move and bend in these ways. He still sweats though and his muscles ache. Fortunately, the trees provide a cool shade for him.

Yuuya heads further back into the forest, past where he and Kotori sat together and chatted, and past where Yuzu was originally standing. Yuuya follows the path through the garden, admiring the trees and plants growing all around him. This greenery reminds Yuuya of his hometown, Heartland City. Now that he’s regained his memories, Yuuya remembers his summers playing in the tall grass, or sitting on the hill by the river. 

_ Those memories are mine too. I have two sets of memories. _

Yuuya sees a flash of red in his vision – a flower, surely, but for a second it looks like a streak of blood.

_ I failed though … Sometime, in another time maybe, Reira and Yuuri and Rin and … and Mom … they all died. One time, I failed. But then there’s a future, like the one I’m living now, where I successfully saved everyone. But to do that, I need to figure out which memories are mine and which ones I’m meant to remember. _

_ The dimension where I lived repeatedly. _

_ The dimension where no murders took place. _

_ And the dimension where only I went missing. _

_ And the dimension where only I went missing begins in the same timeline where that girl belongs – the girl with the pink hair and the bright smile. The girl with a dream and a future. _

_ Yuzu. _

_ The dimension where I belong is in the timeline with Yuzu. _

_ That means ….  _ Yuuya smiles to himself, glancing up at the sky speckled through the foliage.  _ I want to meet Yuzu. _


	57. Chapter 57

_ _

_ Good morning, Yuuya.  _

_ It’s Mom. _

_ It feels so strange to write to you in my head. You’ll never get to read this, or probably hear it. I can read though, so don’t sell your mama short so quickly. But I never completed high school and went straight on to dueling and racing and then I landed a job as a reporter. I’m still not sure how that all happened to me, but fate has a funny way of fitting all the pieces of our lives together. Fate isn’t responsible for us though; no, we make our own destinies. _

_ But I’m musing, sorry. I’m sitting by the window right now, watching you do lap after lap around that garden. When Kotori came to visit, she said you went to that garden with her and talked to her. I’ve never seen a kid smile so widely before. And then that other girl, Hiiragi, was so sweet and nice. She stayed right by you after you passed out, and she told the nurses that you had been fine beforehand. I’m glad you have such good people looking out for you, even when I’m not there. _

_ I wish you could get better quickly. I wish you didn’t need a walker, or physio. I wish you didn’t have to sleep in a hospital bed and eat hospital food. I wish you could come back home, and we could cook curry together. I wonder what you’d be like at home. Would you keep the place tidy? What would it have been like, Yuuya, if you grew up and became an adult? You’ve been asleep for fifteen years, and I’m worried your brain might be stuck at age 11. You’re smart though, my little tomato boy. You are  _ strong.

_ And still, with all my heart, I hate what has happened to you. I hate whoever is responsible for your injury. It’s because of that killer Yuuto spoke of that you fell into a coma and have undergone such treatment. You didn’t deserve such a cruel fate. _

_ I’m happy you’re alive though. Please don’t get me wrong about that – I am so, so happy you are alive today. You are my hope, my dream, my everything. Everything you do inspires me. As I watch you walk laps around the garden, I realise how much you strive for your own dreams. It’s contagious, your hope. Your dear friends have told me too how much you inspired them to be the adults they are today. _

_ You didn’t just give me hope though after your accident. No, ever since you were born, you have been my reason for living. I think I took some aspects for granted though: the sound of your footsteps coming home, the sound of your snores as you slept next to me. You used to come home chattering away about your school day. You used to play your favourite CDs in the house. Especially in your last month awake, you became bolder. You brought your friends over for supper and for your birthday. You went out of the house with them, walked them home, took care of them. _

_ I miss all that. I miss seeing your peaceful sleeping face next to mine. I miss hearing your chatter and your laughter. I miss hearing your footsteps. I bet, if I press my ear to the window, I can hear your feet on the cement. _

_ As terrible as it sounds to say, because of your accident I have begun to cherish my “present.” That sounds silly to say, doesn’t it? Well, after watching you sleep for fifteen years, I am pleased by every little thing you do. You have made so much progress at the hospital. Your body is strong and healthy, and I have no doubts now that you will make a full recovery. _

_ My dream for you hasn’t changed, not even after that injury. My dream started when you were little, and stayed through all the ups and downs of our lives.  _

_ I want to see you healthy. _

_ What does that look like? I want to see you smile. I want to see you run and jump and play. I want to see you out of that hospital bed and out with your friends.  _

_ It probably doesn’t feel like a long time for you. For me though, it has been too long. We’ve lived in Maiami City for as long as you’ve lived in Heartland City, I think. You haven’t seen much of our new home though. I haven’t either. I travel from my workplace to the hospital, and from the hospital to home. I don’t think the hospital staff like me sleeping there, but for the first little bit I stayed close by.  _

_ Those hospital staff though are my friends – my only friends. When you were asleep, there wasn’t much time to do anything but work or take care of you. I never had many friends to start with too. It was … lonely. You probably don’t want to hear that, but if it causes you guilt you should know that I am not blaming you. I think, during those years all alone in Maiami City, I began to understand the concept of a “loner.” Even when just the two of us lived together, it wasn’t lonely. I had you, and you had me. But then I lost that love, and the emptiness washed over me.  _

_ It’s easy to be lonely and remain lonely, but hard to become lonely after having such good friends and family. _

_ I think I get why you befriended Reira. He didn’t want to be lonely either. _

_ When you were asleep, sometimes I’d ask myself, What do I do?  _

_ That answer is simple. _

_ I stay by my child.  _

_ You were trapped in a prison called time, unable to escape from a painful yet painless sleep. Machines forced your lungs to breathe and your heart to beat. When I slept next to you, I would listen for any sounds of life. I withstood day after day of the doctors telling me you would never, ever wake up. _

_ Time stopped for me on those days.  _

_ I told the doctor,  _ “Fuck you,”  _ but I was scared. I started to believe the doctor, even when I kept up the exercises and care routines. I would never leave you, but I was in despair. That was such a dark time in my life that I hope you never experience the same loneliness and fear I felt. And yet, I won’t lie to you. I won’t keep that a secret – because your smile and hope beat all of those negative emotions away. _

_ My dream is a future with you in it. _

_ No matter if it took a month longer, a year longer, a  _ decade  _ longer – I would wait for you. That is a promise I made to myself. _

_ Then one day, you woke up. You opened your eyes for the very first time, and though you could not see me, I could see you – clearly, easily. I called your name over and over again, so that you would know it was me. You remember that, don’t you?  _

_ You didn’t hear me say one thing though. I whispered it to myself: “I am not alone anymore.” _

_ It’s true. _

_ Today, you are with me. Tomorrow, you will be with me too. I can look out the window and see you wandering through the garden, shadowed by the trees and bushes. The fresh air and sunshine must be good for your lungs and skin. Your hard work in physio is showing in how steady you are on your feet. No matter how far away you are, I can see your smile.  _

_ You are my entertainer, Yuuya. _

* * *

_ You are my entertainer, Yuuya. _

_ When you woke up, I heard it first on the news: a little boy, now a man, woke up from his fifteen-year coma. How miraculous is that? It’s as if fate didn’t want to let you go, couldn’t cut away your strings and let you fall down to the centre of the earth. There were pictures of you in the newspaper – old photos from when you were in elementary school. _

_ I remember that little, brave boy. His name was Yuuya, and he was in my class. _

_ All those years ago, I thought I killed you. I put the car in the lake, erased you like you had tried to erase me. I never thought you would survive that, much less wake up from the coma. And yet, even though I “failed” … I think I still won. I’m not mad, or angry. I bear no hard feelings against you. When I heard you’d awoken, I felt happy. Those feelings inside of me returned. _

You  _ returned. _

_ Yuuya, you were the only target I had a chance of killing, and yet you lived.  _

_ Let me tell you this: long ago, when  _ I  _ was a child, I had a hamster named Fate. He was my reason for living and fighting; when everything else around him died, Fate stood on the bodies of his fallen comrades and lived. When I hear that you lived through the coma, that you clawed your way out of the death I tried to give you – you remind me of Fate.  _

_ Should I call you Fate from now on? _

* * *

On a crisp afternoon, Yuuto shows up. Yuuya lifts his head and squints his eyes, a strange habit he’s adopted even though his vision is crystal-clear and he doesn’t need glasses to see. Sure enough, Yuuto peeks around the corner with a wide grin. His violet bangs are gelled back, and the black under-layer of his hair has been smoothed down. He’s wearing a crisp suit too, the kind of simple attire that still breathes wealthy.

“Hey,” Yuuto says, raising a hand.

Yuuya raises his hand in return. “Hey.”

Yuuto steps inside, but Yuuya quickly shuffles himself to the edge of the bed and sets his feet down on the floor. He catches Yuuto’s quickening breath and his sharp gasp, but Yuuya doesn’t respond to it. He stands on his feet, one arm behind him to grip the edge of the bed. His other arm stretches out to reach for the walker by the wall.

“You’re … walking.” Yuuto’s says it like a fact. He lets out a deep breath, shoulders relaxing. “Your physio must be helping.”

Yuuya nods. He drags the walker closer to him, and then steps all the way up and braces his arms on the handlebars. His legs have gotten stronger these past few weeks, so he no longer worries about how his knees will bend, or if his ankles can take his weight. Breezily, he crosses the room and stands before Yuuto. He’s shorter than Yuuto by just a couple centimetres – a miracle, Yuuya supposes, considering how long he’s been comatose for.

Yuuto moves to step more into the room, but Yuuya shakes his head. “I’ve been in this room all morning – trust me, it’s stuffy in here. Let’s go get some fresh air.”

Yuuto chuckles under his breath. “Lead the way then.”

Mobilities has offered many luxuries to Yuuya. Since he got his walker, he’s done laps all around his ward, and around his floor. Yuuya has peeked into other rooms and explored everywhere he can. He’s even headed upstairs and downstairs to try and find other patients or doctors. The hospital limits how much he can explore, but there are a lot of passageways leading all around the massive building.

Where Yuuya takes Yuuto is nowhere special, just out the ward doors, down a hallway, and through a metal door. Yuuya doesn’t have the strength to open it on his own, so Yuuto helps him. Through the doorway, Yuuya peeks his head in and smiles.

“Where’s … this?” Yuuto asks.

Yuuya pushes his walker inside. They’re in a stairwell, nothing more than a platform with staircases leading both upstairs and downstairs. Yuuya parks his walker at the top of the stairs, just to the side in case it slips down. Then he gets down on his hands and knees and crawls across the floor.

“What are you doing, Yuuya?” Yuuto says.

Peeking through his bangs, Yuuya answers, “Didn’t some of our best childhood conversations happen on the stairs? It only seems natural that we should talk here.”

Yuuto laughs out loud, bending at the waist. His voices echoes all throughout the stairwell; to Yuuya’s knowledge, no one uses the staircases in the hospital. Then Yuuto straightens up and sits down on the stairwell next to Yuuya, kicking his legs out so that they stretch down the steps. He braces his hands back behind him and glances over at Yuuya.

“Yuuto,” Yuuya says, “I hate to jump right into a conversation, but I know you’d want to know this.” A pause. “I think I have two sets of memories.”

If Yuuya said that to anyone else, except maybe Yoko, he would have received a confused look. They might have even sent him off to Dr. Reiji asking for testing. But Yuuto just leans forward and draws his hands together, and waits for Yuuya to say more.

“I have memories of everyone in elementary school, right up until my injury on White Day in 1988. I know those are real, true memories, and you can confirm those ones too. But then I also have memories from another timeline, one where I didn’t fall into a coma, and where I went to sixth grade. Those memories, Yuuto … I think they’re real too.”

“How do you know they’re real?” Yuuto asks. “I’m curious, not judging you.”

“Because those memories couldn’t be fabricated – they’re  _ too  _ real. Um …” Yuuya brings his hands together, folding them tightly in his lap. “I wouldn’t have known about the sixth grade field trip, right? Even if I heard one of our upperclassmen talk about it, I wouldn’t have known what happened. And yet, even before Reira told me stories about the trip to Academia, I knew that we went up to the top of Duel Academia and watched the fireworks. I also knew about Yuugo’s fight with the kids from the other school, and about how you got caught in the crossfire breaking up the fight. I couldn’t know those memories unless I had been there, right? And I was … but Yuuri wasn’t, and neither was Reira. That doesn’t make sense, does it?” Yuuya sighs. “Right?”

Yuuto doesn't say anything at first. He draws a hand up to his chin, scratching absentmindedly at his skin. “That does sound pretty real.” Yuuto’s teeth sink into his lip, and his eyes cast downwards. 

Yuuya recognises the expression at once. He claps a hand on Yuuto’s shoulder. “Hey, don’t pity me – I know that expression. I’m just thinking aloud here about how I could know – it’s not like I regret not being able to go. That’s was out of anyone’s control.”

“I guess …” Yuuto says, though he folds into himself.

Yuuya squeezes Yuuto’s shoulder. “What happened happened, right?”

“Right.” Yuuto clears his throat, straightening up. “Right. I have a theory now though, about those memories of yours. What if they’re a dream made up by your imagination? You read the files I gave you about your accident.”

Yuuya nods. “You think that influenced my memories?”

“It’s a possibility. Think about it like a game, Yuuya. Right up until moments before you died, you thought you beat the game; we all did, actually. We thought the killer was out of Heartland City, or would be leaving soon. We were certain that we’d come out victorious, and I bet you most of all were assured of your victory. But then maybe you thought you failed when you died, as you would never know if anyone else would be kidnapped. Maybe those feelings of defeat were so intense that your subconscious created an alternate timeline without the attempted murder in your dream.”

Yuuya shrugs.

Yuuto continues: “Music and voices can influence your subconscious too. When you were asleep, your mother read you books and played your favourite songs on the radio. Perhaps those also drew up nostalgic memories of your childhood, and you created an alternate memory where you were alive.”

“Maybe.” Yuuya draws his legs up closer, resting his chin on them.

Sighing, Yuuto leans closer. “Too dry, Yuuya? You don’t believe me, do you?”

_ “Not really.” _

Yuuto chuckles, drawing Yuuya out of his stupor. “Touche,” he says, but he keeps on laughing for a moment more. He drops a hand on Yuuya’s shoulder, and stares down the length of his arm right into Yuuya’s eyes. Yuuto’s face draws together, lips pursed. He looks deep in thought for a moment.

“This also crossed my mind too. Hear me out first, OK?”

“OK.”

“As a kid, I dreamt of being a lawyer. I had this vast, wonderful dream – not just an airy dream, but tangible memories of my future as a lawyer. I believed it was a prophecy of some kind, and so I studied and studied, and in the end I became a lawyer. I guess that dream became my life.”

“It’s a nice dream,” Yuuya says. 

“Yuuya, do you remember anything about the murderer?”

Yuuya shakes his head. “I can’t even remember all the events leading up to the case – those are hazy. I have memories of you and Yuuri and Reira, and everyone else in class, but I don’t remember that case. I especially can’t remember that night when the car went into the river.” Shuffling his feet together, Yuuya adds, “Any guesses, Yuuto? You were as much a player in the detective game as I was.”

“That’s not true,” Yuuto says. “Remember, we all followed you as if you were our leader. No one asked how you knew kids were going to be kidnapped; all our theories were based on assumptions. And yet, despite not having much evidence, I never thought you were making leaps of faith.”

Though Yuuto’s words hold truth, Yuuya knows when Yuuto is avoiding the question. He asks again, “Any guesses on the murderer, Yuuto?”

“One.” 

The word echoes through the stairwell, bouncing along the cavernous, concrete walls. 

“But I told Durbe that I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Oh.”

Yuuto pulls himself up to his feet, and steps down the stairs. He finds a place to stand where, when he looks over his shoulder, he and Yuuya see eye-to-eye. 

“If I told you, Yuuya, my guess could bias your right answer. You know who the true killer is, even if your memories are blank. I’ll wait for your answer.” 

“OK.”

“That’s frustrating, isn’t it?” Yuuto says. “I bet you want to know.”

“I do,” Yuuya says. “However …” He grabs hold of the handrail, pulling himself to his feet. Yuuya knows better than to step down on the stairs; he and the physiotherapist have only practiced walking along straight ground, never on stairs or hills. Yuuya knows he’s not ready to climb stairs unless he wants to break his ankle. So he stands at the top of the stairs, looking down at Yuuto.

“However,” he says, “I've already been waiting for fifteen years, so it won't be much longer. I’ll wait for the day my memories return.”


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the shortness and lateness of this chapter! i'm going to try and make sure there's another update for Friday! <3

Yuuto takes him back to his room after their conversation. However, Yuuya doesn’t even have a moment to sit down before he hears someone knock on the door and call out, “Hello! Anyone awake in there?”

The voice sounds unfamiliar at first. It’s a younger voice too, but not someone that Yuuya can recall from his childhood memories. No, it must be a kid.

Yuuya glances over his shoulder. Standing in the doorway is a little girl with soft, green hair curled up in a bun atop of her head. The bun is fastened with a bright, red thread, and Yuuya’s lips turn in a smile as he imagines Reira with his hair done up with bows too. This little girl looks to be the same age as Reira too, back when Reira was in elementary school. 

_ She must be ten years old then. _

The girl keeps waving at him. She hops through the door and over the crack, and lands with her arms spread out. Then she chuckles and places her small hands on her hips. “By the look on your face you don’t remember my name.” 

Abashedly, Yuuya chuckles. “I guess not.”

The girl lets out a long whine, coming to stand closer to him. “I thought Ms. Yoko would tell you – remember, I’m Kotori? I went to this same hospital.” 

“Ko … Kotori!”

“That’s my name!” Kotori cheers. “So that does ring a bell. I bet I look a bit different though, now with my hair all done up.” She brings her fingers up through it, twisting the thick, green strands together. Yuuya remembers more now. Back before his last coma, he sat with Kotori and listened to her worries about her upcoming bone marrow transplant. She was recovering from leukemia. Judging by the healthy colour of her skin, the hair on her head, and the energetic bounce in her step, Yuuya reckons she’s made a full recovery.

Eagerly, Kotori grabs his hand and gives him a tug forward. “Come on, we should head outside. You shouldn’t be sitting around in this stuffy room – you’ll get better with fresh air.”

Yuuya stumbles at first at her grasp, but then he catches himself and brings the walker closer. “All right, all right,” he says, following her out of the room door. “I was just wandering around these halls though, so it’s not like I’ve been in this room all  _ day.” _

“Still,” Kotori says, leading him to the elevator. “You won’t get better unless you take care of your body and mind, and that means going out into nature and reconnecting to the world.”

Yuuya can’t argue with that logic.

He and Kotori take the elevator down to the ground floor, and from there they march out the glass doors and down the ramp to the garden. Yuuya has been doing laps daily around the garden, so this isn’t a new sight to him. However, it appears Kotori hasn’t been here in several months, for she begins pointing out new flowers and arrangements in the open garden.

“They didn’t have these potted plants when I was in the hospital – and these flowers, look at them! They’re so pink!”

Once outside, Yuuya follows Kotori around. She prattles off about whatever she sees or hears, which then leads her into stories about her school, her doctors appointments, and her family.

“About the operation …” Yuuya begins.

Kotori turns around. “Yeah? What about it?”

“I guess … it went well?”

Sticking out her lip, Kotori says, “Well I didn’t  _ die,  _ now did I?” Her remark startles Yuuya, but Kotori laughs along with it. “Kidding, kidding – and yeah, it turned out fine. I have to take some pills and go for some tests, and the doctors still check up on me. But now I can go to school and maybe next year I’ll be able to join a sports club. I want to start swimming for my school’s swim team.”

Kotori stops then. She sets a hand on Yuuya’s shoulder, and then pushes him down to the ground. “Hey, you should be resting!” she says.

“We were just walking –”

“You scared me, you know that?”

The words cut off anything Yuuya wants to say. He stumbles over his own lips. “Huh?”

“You  _ scared  _ me,” Kotori repeats. “One minute you were standing up, talking to Miss Yuzu, and the next minute you keeled right over. It was pretty scary. That’s why I made you a thousand paper cranes for your room … well, that and also I was stuck recovering for a while after my surgery.”

Kotori wrings her hands in front of her lap, looking down at her buckle-shoes. “Don’t scare me again. I didn’t know you were that sick, or that you could pass out. And then you didn’t wake up for over a year too …”

Her voice cracks.

Something in Yuuya’s heart cracks too.

“Hey,” Yuuya says, “I’m not going anywhere. I woke up – again.”

“But that can’t happen again –”

“I don’t think it will,” Yuuya says. “I’m feeling really good, Kotori. I’m getting healthier each day, and I think what happened that day … well, that was just a random accident. I don’t think there was anything I could have done to prevent it.”

While his words don’t sound helpful to his own ears, they appease Kotori enough that she looks up with a small smile tucked in the corner of her mouth. She settles down in the grass next to him, stretching out her long legs. She reminds Yuuya a bit of Rin with her mothering, leader-like attitude. The hair reminds him of Rin too – Kotori’s soft, short wispy curls tied up with a ribbon.

“Kotori,” Yuuya begins, “you mentioned Miss Yuzu … you mean Yuzu with the pink hair?”

“That’s the woman!” Kotori says. “She was there when you collapsed too, and she called the medical staff into the garden to help you. Actually –” Kotori reaches over into her pocket and yanks out a cell phone. It’s a typical flip phone with a basic screen and keyboard. However, hanging from it is a music note. It’s in the same style and shape as the pin Yuzu always wore on the collar of her work uniform.

Kotori holds up the music note for him to see. “Miss Yuzu gave this to me for being so brave, and for good luck during my operation. I wish I could have given her something back, but since she punched those dirty cameramen I think she has all the bravery and luck she needs.”

_ She was always like that, wasn’t she?  _

With a sigh, Yuuya glances up, only to feel something tap him on the head. Rain, and lots of it too. It sprinkles down for a second, just enough for Yuuya to feel the wetness, and then it pours by the bucketfuls on both of their heads. Quickly, Yuuya and Kotori raise their hands to shield their heads. 

“Uh oh,” Kotori says. Then to Yuuya, she motions for him to stand. “Come on, Yuuya, up, up!”

Yuuya crawls on his hands and knees, and reaches up for his walker to use as leverage to get him up. However, sitting still on the ground has made his muscles achey. Getting onto his feet exerts enough energy. When Yuuya tries to walk, his muscles groan and protest. Each step is smaller than the previous one. All the while, the rain continues to pelt his head and shoulders, and slip down his back and under his clothes. Yuuya shivers from the cold.

Behind him, he hears Kotori say another “Uh oh.”

“What?” Yuuya says.

“You’re gonna catch a cold if you’re out in weather like this,” she says. Then she pushes him on the back, not enough to tip him but to get him moving forward. “Hurry to the door! I’m going to find an umbrella.”

Yuuya opens his mouth to answer, but by the time he swings his head around he can see Kotori running through the garden. Where Kotori thinks she’ll find an umbrella in the garden is beyond Yuuya, especially considering the door is in the  _ opposite direction,  _ but he lets her run off and he continues to make his way to the door. With any luck, by the time she returns he’ll be at the door. Yuuya can even see the safe, dry haven from where he stands.

No sooner has Yuuya taken a few steps does he hear the sound of feet squelching and splashing in the mud behind him. Yuuya supposes it’s Kotori, returning from her search for an umbrella and coming up empty handed.

Only … it’s not.

Instead, there’s someone else in the garden. The figure is too far away for Yuuya to gather too many discerning features, but by the shape and height of the person he reckons it’s a man. Through the hanging leaves, Yuuya sees the colours and lines of a crisp business suit. The man’s face is partially obscured, and with the rainclouds blocking out the sun there are thick shadows around the man’s body, yet Yuuya sees the glimmer of the edges of glasses –

_ Slap! _

The edge of an umbrella shoots out and catches Yuuya on the arm. He jumps to the side, out of the way of the umbrella. Kotori grins at him, cheeks pink. She holds the umbrella up high for him, so that they are both under the shelter. 

“Look what I found,” she singsongs.

_ She found one,  _ Yuuya says.  _ However, who was … _

The man is gone. 

Kotori leans closer to him, following his line of vision. “Did you see the nice old man too?”

Yuuya blinks. “Huh?”

“The man in the park,” Kotori continues. “That’s who gave me this nice umbrella.”

Yuuya looks from Kotori to the empty space, and then back to Kotori. “I … think I saw him.”

Twirling the umbrella around in the palm of her hand, Kotori says, “Yeah, there was a nice guy who told me to take this umbrella and make sure you and I don’t get wet.”

Whether from the cold or something else, Yuuya feels a shiver run from his head to his toe. “The man saw me?”

“I guess,” Kotori says. She looks up at him, as if reading his expression. When Yuuya shivers again though, the creases on Kotori’s forehead soften. “Gosh, you must be freezing!” she says. “Come on, let’s get inside before you get sick. Hurry! Hurry!”

At her insistence, Yuuya moves as fast as he can across the wet pavement and up the ramp. Kotori follows right behind him, holding the umbrella above both of their heads. More than once Yuuya glances back to see if he can spot the stranger he saw in the garden, but no matter where he looks all Yuuya sees are the wet leaves and flowers. Yuuya doesn’t even remember seeing anyone in the garden when he and Kotori first came.

As far as Yuuya knows, the strange man just appeared and disappeared.


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey there! once more, the update schedule of this fic is changing back to once per week postings on **Fridays**. this is for several reasons:  
>  1\. this fic is ending soon and technically i haven't finished all the chapters for it (missing two POV chapters which will be split up into at least 2-3 individual chapters)  
> 2\. i'm working full-time with school and assignments too, so i don't have time to write those final chapters  
> 3\. i'm also writing Three Things, a vrains fic, and with its update schedule i'm spending a lot of time writing those chapters and i don't have the extra time (yet) to devote to this story.  
> don't worry, those chapters will be finished and this fic will finally have an ending! thank you for your patience and for sticking with this story! <3

_ _

_ “Life is all about how you’re filling up what’s missing.” _

_ That’s a powerful quote; I just know it. Long ago, someone important to me must have said that. It’s too philosophical or poetic to be from Mom, and it’s not quite something that Yuuto would say either. It couldn’t be from Yuzu either. No, someone told this to me when I was a child. _

_ That person … must have been special. _

Yuuya leans back on the grass, gazing up through the thick foliage to try and spot the drips of honey-coloured sunlight. He’s out in the garden, resting after walking six laps around the outdoor area. He’s been practicing every day, both before and after physio, to try and build up even more muscle. Reiji and Yoko have both told him he’ll wear the wheels on his walker with all the exercise he’s doing, and Yuuya laughed at their compliment.

Slowly but surely, he’s getting stronger.

With a gentle sigh, Yuuya closes his eyes. Thoughts float to the surface of his mind – words that ring in his ears.

_ My fate is my own. _

_ Have hope. _

_ A mother is supposed to support her child when they take an interest in something. _

_ I feel like if I keep on acting one day, I’ll become real too. _

_ I want to believe people. I want people to believe in me. _

_ I think your thought will definitely reach somewhere. _

Those words, they’re teaching Yuuya lessons. They’re powerful words from his friends and family, all from the three unique timelines he’s lived in, if that even makes sense. As weird as it sounds to Yuuya, it’s also the most logical reasoning. He has memories from three different timelines, and from three different lives. There are memories of living in Maiami City as a mangaka; memories of failing to save Reira, Yuuri, and Rin; and now the memories from this timeline, when he successfully protected his friends and fell into a coma. In each timeline, Yuuya has learned something new.

When Yuuya thinks hard about it, he realises that he’s grown through these timelines. There’s a reason he’s so mature for an adult who fell into a coma as a child. After all, wasn’t he acting like an adult back in elementary school? That makes sense.

But then … it doesn’t. 

Yuuya fell into a coma just before the end of fifth grade. He never graduated, and he never caught the killer. Fortunately, Yuuto took up the search alongside Durbe, who Yuuya remembers both from childhood memories and adult memories. Yuuya is certain the killer who went after him is the same serial kidnapper and killer who targeted his friends in the other timeline. He’s certain of at least that much.

At the thought of Yuuto, Yuuya’s heart sinks. Perhaps Yuuto has lost hope in catching the killer. Some of the cases might have moved on, or others have stalemated. Perhaps Yuuto has stalemated. If Yuuya had all of his memories, and could piece them together, he could offer something to Yuuto. There must be  _ something  _ locked away in Yuuya’s memories that could help Yuuto figure out who the killer is. 

And yet, at the same time, Yuuto can’t spoil Yuuya’s judgment. He kept his assumptions to himself in the hopes that Yuuya would remember all on his own. Yuuto is wise and careful. Yuuya appreciates it, but it means that it’s up to him to figure of the clues buried in his mind.

_ I want to meet your expectations, Yuuto. We’re still allies of justice … we’re still a team. _

With that pressure on Yuuya’s shoulders, his mind aches and cries. If Yuuya doesn’t ever remember what happened, does that mean all the cases will stalemate, including his own? Will the kidnapper and killer never be caught? It’s such a painful thought to imagine that Yuuya feels goosebumps appear on his arms. 

In his mind though, Yuuya sees Yuuto’s peaceful, smiling face. He hears Yuuto’s kind words: “If there’s a next, please take me to it again.” Those words sound familiar too, as if Yuuto is echoing the same sentiments as he did fifteen years ago when they first tried to catch the kidnapper. Knowing that Yuuto has been following leads and tracking down the killer for fifteen years should make Yuuya’s heart leap with joy. His friend never gave up! 

Only it just adds to the pressure on his shoulders. 

_ I won’t give up though,  _ Yuuya says to himself.  _ For you, Yuuto, I will take you to that ‘next.’ I will never, ever give up on you. _

Another sigh, a release of tension all the way down his body. When Yuuya opens his eyes and stares at the green leaves over his head, he imagines the sight of Heartland City from the top of the mountain behind his school. 

_ I will recover my memory, Yuuto. _

“Yuuya?”

The voice sounds distant for a moment, like a fleeting memory of someone calling his name. Yuuya only realises it’s reality speaking to him when he hears the voice once more, and then someone grabs his shoulder and shakes him back and forth like a rag doll.

“Yuuya! Yuuya, wake up!”

“My eyes are open! I’m awake,” he says, throwing his head up to see who it is –

Kotori. She’s crouched down in front of him, grinning ear to ear. There’s a bit of orange dust around her face that Yuuya wonders what it could be from, but before he can ask she drags him up to his feet and pushes his walker closer to him.

“Up, up,” she says. “You need to go back to your room.”

“W-why?” Yuuya asks. He holds onto the handles of the walker and begins to head back through the garden to the doorway. Kotori skips alongside him, her green skirt flicking in and out. She has on a cardigan too, and her hair is done up in a braid that’s then been wrapped around into a bun. It looks like the sort of hairstyle Yoko might given a girl …

Something clicks in Yuuya’s mind.

“What’s going on, Kotori?” he asks.

Now she’s defensive, throwing up a hand. “Nothing,” she says. “I just figured we’d go back to your room, maybe play a board game.”

Her behaviour is still suspicious. Normally Kotori comes after school, or after her doctor’s checkups. When she comes, she and Yuuya normally head outside and walk around the garden together, or they play board games in the sunshine. Never before has Kotori ever suggested staying inside. That alone makes Yuuya suspicious. He doesn’t say anything though as she leads him down the hallways, up the elevator, and to his room. He lets her prattle on about her classes and teachers all the way to the room, where she then stops in front of the closed door.

Closed.

Yuuya’s door is  _ always  _ open.

“What’s going … on?” Yuuya asks.

Kotori’s smile is shadowed by the deep, dark blush on her cheeks. She fingers the door handle, toying with the lever and not pushing it open. “Well …”

Yuuya opens his mouth to try again, but he then he stops. Sniffs. There’s something good-smelling coming from the other side of the door. The smell has wafted down the hallway too, so that when Yuuya leans back and to the side, he can still smell rich spices. 

_ I know this smell,  _ Yuuya thinks.

The door flings open, and on the other side stands Yoko brandishing a spoon covered in thick, brown paste. She holds it out to him with a grin. “You were fast getting up here. Now, try this and tell me if I’m still the best curry cook in all of the dimensions.”

_ That’s  _ what Yuuya smells. He peeks over his mother’s shoulder to where several containers are arranged on a table: plates, cutlery, and of course curry and rice. The heat of the dishes rises up in small plumes of smoke. Yuuya’s mouth waters just looking at it, and he greedily takes a lick at the spoon. The curry tastes just how he remembers it: warm and comforting and made with love. 

Also in the room is Reiji. Yuuya blinks when he locks eyes with his doctor. Of all the people Yuuya expected to see in the room for curry, Reiji was not among them. Sure enough though, Reiji sits on a chair by the bed with an empty plate balanced on his lap. He smiles at Yuuya, but otherwise doesn’t say anything.

Kotori tugs him into the room. “Come on, Yuuya – we can’t start eating until everyone is here, and you’re the last one!”

With a chuckle, Yuuya lets himself be dragged to his bed, where a table has been set up so that extra chairs do not need to be dragged into the room. When he settles down into his bed, Kotori scrabbles up and sits across from him, tucking her legs behind her. Once they’re all seated, Yoko comes around with dishes and begins serving everyone. It feels so familiar, so natural, to have his mother serving curry for everyone around. 

To the side, Yuuya sees that there is still a nearly-full pot left.

“You made too much, Mom,” he jokes.

“You can never have too many leftovers,” she tells him with a wink.

When they all have their plates before them, and they’re all seated either on the bed or around it, they give their thanks together and then dig in. The flavours are immediately familiar and comforting to Yuuya. The potatoes and carrots are cooked and soft; the curry is thick; and the rice is warm and soft. Everything blends together in his mouth and warms him up from the inside out. Closing his eyes, Yuuya takes a moment to savour every single flavour. In his mind, he remembers time and time again eating curry with his mother and friends.

When Yuuya opens his eyes, his friends are still there – Kotori and Reiji – and his mother too.

“Just as good as you remember it, right?” Yoko says. “I made this for your friends when they came to visit you at the hospital, and later when many of them moved to Maiami City to be closer to you, but I think it’s not the same unless all of the family is here.”

Yuuya nods. “Curry should always be eaten with friends.”

From across the table, Kotori says, “We should do this more often – hang out, I mean.”

Reiji makes a small, grunting noise, as if he’s not sure whether he should be included in the ‘hanging out’ or not.

Kotori continues: “It’s almost summertime, which means beautiful weather and tons of festivities. I’ll also be on summer break soon, so I want to make the most of my time off of school.” She takes a bite of curry, then says, “I don’t have plans yet, but I want to go camping. That’s pretty cheap, I think.”

“Have you asked your parents about it?” Yoko asks.

Kotori shrugs. “Not yet, but I think they’ll tell me ‘That’s too expensive!’ or ‘You just got out of the hospital! You need to take better care of yourself.’ Huffing, Kotori stirs together the curry on her plate. “But the thing is that camping isn’t  _ that  _ expensive – it’s not like I’m asking to go to an amusement park or something like that. And also this the first summer that I’ll be OK staying outdoors for, since last year was too soon after my surgery.”

To Yuuya, that makes sense. When he was ten years old, he had similar summer plans too.

Yoko shakes her head though. “Kotori, your parents have a lot of bills to pay, and on top of that they’re paying for your school tuition. I’ve met them before, and I don’t think they can pay for a camping trip.”

“They paid for my school field trip though …”

“That was because it was for a school project.” Yoko points her spoon at Kotori, and then chuckles. “I get how you’re feeling though. Summer makes you want to get out of the house and make the most of your time off. Yuuya, you were the same way – you had some big summer plans with your friends too.”

Yuuya’s cheeks grow red at the memory. 

Reiji, seated at the side of the bed, clears his throat. He reaches behind him for a napkin, and wipes off both his mouth and his cutlery. Every movement of his is refined and precise. Then, with another soft clearing of his throat, he says, “Thanks you for the meal, Ms. Sakaki.”

“Call me Yoko,” she says. “How was it? Have you ever had curry that good before?”

Reiji nods. “It was the second time in my life that I ever asked for seconds.”

Her lips purse together, and she leans her head to the side. “Is that … supposed to be a compliment?”

Reiji doesn’t answer her. He stands up, motions to put the dishes away, but Yoko bats his hands away. 

“Back to work, doc,” she says. “Thank you for joining us.”

“My pleasure,” Reiji says, bowing stiffly. When he walks out, Yuuya notices how his shoulders have slumped just a bit more, how there’s a little skip in his step – had Yuuya not known Reiji for so long, he might have missed the subtle differences. He watches Reiji go with a fond smile.

The door closes.

A pause.

And then there’s a cheer, not a loud cacophony but at the very least a sound the travels through the door. It couldn’t have come from anyone else in the entire hospital wing but Reiji. Yuuya’s face breaks into a large grin, and he leans forward as he begins to laugh. Across from him Kotori smothers her giggles with her hands, careful not to choke on her curry. Even Yoko grins to both of them.

“I’d call that a success, don’t you agree?” she says.

“I’d agree,” Yuuya says. He scoops up another mouthful, relishing in all the love Yoko has put into this dish. “Curry always tastes best when you share it with friends and family.”


	60. Chapter 60

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i missed a chapter last week ^^;; this one is extra sweet though (just get through the first part, all right)

_ _

_ “Life is all about how you’re filling up what’s missing.” _

_ I’ve said this before to a class of promising, wonderful children. I bet it made them happy to know that an adult cares about them, that an adult supports them when they have taken interest in something. More than that though, I said this to my class because I want them to know that they make an impact in the lives of others. They move through the world ‘filling it up.’ _

_ I’ve filled up this world too. _

_ There’s a grown man, once a little boy, residing in the Maiami City Central Hospital. I’ve been watching him for over fifteen years, ever since he was in my class. He  _ fascinates  _ me. When I learnt that he survived his accident and subsequent coma, I made sure he received only the best medical equipment and care. The kind, practical Dr. Reiji has ensured that the man I care for lives healthily. _

_ I’ve done everything I can. _

_ That hospital contains the best rehabilitation equipment that will help in that man’s recovery. _

_ Yuuya. _

_ That man is Yuuya. _

_ And yet … what I have done for Yuuya, I have also done for me. Helping a hospital has benefited my work as a growing politician in Maiami City. Local favours like that make me out to be the benevolent hero. Just last week, someone told me, “I bet you could be a mayor or congress worker if you wanted to.” _

_ That’s a dream for another timeline. Perhaps if Yuuya, my Fate, died, I would have become a politician. I might have filled up the world through a servant relationship to Maiami City, or maybe I would have moved elsewhere and taken up another job. I can live everywhere and do anything; I can choose where to leave my mark, if I leave one at all. _

_ I’m here in Heartland City because I have unfinished work. _

_ I’m here in Heartland City because  _ he is still here.

_ Yuuya, my Fate. _

* * *

“Home sweet home,” Durbe drawls from behind him.

Yuuto chuckles under his breath; he’s doesn’t need to look over his shoulder to know that Durbe is scowling like he’s eaten a lemon. Yuuto knows exactly what kind of opinion Durbe has about their office. They’re private lawyers, and their firm is little more than a modified house. It’s right off one of the major roads, and close to the train station too; this makes it easy to commute to and from it. However …

Yuuto winces at the sound of painful, loud giggling. There are always groups of children playing at the park right across the street. Yuuto glances back and them. Was he that loud as a child? These children are all like Yuugo used to be: loud-mouthed, brash … but also creative. Every day there are children climbing on the jungle gym or running through the trees. As loud as the children may be, they also remind Yuuto of his own childhood.

Durbe’s voice calls him back to his thoughts, and Yuuto turns around –

And stumbles, nearly tumbling into a man. He’s a bit older, with rectangular glasses perched on his nose. Yuuto overcorrects and stumbles back, throwing back a hand in case he does topple over. Thankfully, he doesn’t fall on his rear in front of the adult.

“Sorry, sir,” Yuuto says out of habit.

The man grunts and keeps walking.

“Yuuto –”

“Coming,” Yuuto says. He straightens out his blazer and dress pants, and hurries towards Durbe and through the open door. The office building smells like freshly-pressed paper and stale air, two smells Yuuto never realised he’d be able to distinguish until he began working full-time under Durbe’s supervision. The working of a practicing lawyer has been long and hard. 

They travel down a long, narrow hallway, and then up the stairs to the loft of the house. Here is their workspace, and what a sight it is. Papers tumble off of the desks and crumple on the floor. There’s a chair and a couch somewhere under the mess of files, but neither of them sit while they work; they’re often too busy pushing pins into the various corkboards around the room. The walls themselves are covered in newspaper clippings and printouts detailing the dimension-wide kidnappings in the past fifteen years. Just like in detective movies, Yuuto and Durbe have strung red string along the photos to represent connections.

Unfortunately, despite all the work and mess, they’ve reached a painful standstill.

Yuuto didn’t want to say to Yuuya back at the hospital, but this case is growing colder. Yuuto hasn’t found a lead in weeks. Whenever he thinks he’s built a case, the evidence seems to disappear. 

Durbe steps through the room and begins unpacking his satchel, pulling out journals and notebooks full of field notes. Yuuto drops his belongings at the door, not even bothering to put anything away, and comes to stand in the middle of the room. Directly to his side is one such board – ‘Dimension-wide child kidnappings,’ it reads. On the board are pictures of child victims, with read thread attaching to their last-known location.

There’s one space missing.

Yuuto’s eyebrows pinch his forehead, and his lips curl down in a frown. 

_ Where’s the missing picture? _

He doesn’t have to look far. There on the ground is the photo of a little girl with soft, grey hair. Two pieces of hair are steepled in the shape of cat ears. Yuuto scoops up the photograph and holds in his hands. Neither he nor Durbe have been examining this board … and Yuuto could have sworn the photo never fell …

“Yuuto?” Durbe says. He raises an eyebrow to the photograph. “Did you get a lead on that victim?”

Yuuto picks up the pin off the ground and re-attaches the photo to the board.

“No … nothing.”

* * *

_ When I met Yuzu, pieces of my memory began to fall into place. Even if she’s not from back then, there’s something about her that reminded me of everything I’ve gone through. It was like she was a  _ key  _ to my memories. But then Mom and Kotori said I fell into a coma after seeing her, and I think it was because too many links were being made.  _

_ Still though, I want to connect the dots. I want to know why I have so many conflicting, contraversing memories. _

Yuuya pillows his head in his hands. No one else he’s spoken to seems to have memories from those times. No one besides him remembers meeting Yuzu beforehand, even though Yuuya has memories of Yuzu at his house, Yuzu and his mother cooking in the kitchen together. Those memories wouldn’t fit anywhere in the current timeline, and yet Yuuya can’t disregard how real they are.

_ Maybe if I met Yuzu once more, I’d recover more memories. _

The problem with that is that Yuzu hasn’t come to see him at the hospital. Kotori and Yoko have both told him that Yuzu took care of him before the hospital staff came and transported him back to his room, but since then Yuzu hasn’t stopped by. 

_ Yuzu, I want to meet you once more. _

Lazily, Yuuya glances to the side. His sketchbook and pencil lie on the side table. Recently, he’s been drawing pictures of his friends from memory. His skill at drawing still makes no sense, but Yuuya finds it relaxing to sketch and doodle in his free time. 

Also on the table is Yoko’s mobile phone. Back when Yuuya was a child, his mother didn’t have a mobile phone, and thus Yuuya has never seen one until he woke up. However, somewhere in his memory that phone is familiar. It looks just like the one from his memories too – a red flip-phone with a little screen on the front. Curiously, Yuuya picks it up and flips it from hand to hand. He opens it up and presses the ‘contacts’ button just to see who Yoko has remained in contact with. The names he sees are those of his friends: Yuuto, Yuugo, Yuuri, Reira, Rin.

No Yuzu.

Yuuya sighs through his nose. He doesn't set down the phone. With his fingers hovering over the keys, Yuuya begins to remember the start of a phone number. 

_ Yuzu … wrote her phone number down for me once. She saved me when I was on the street – I was running away from something, I think – and she took me to her house. That’s right – her room! Her pink room, the glass room in the duel school! And I slept on her floor. In the morning, she wrote me a letter with her cell number on it. What was her cell number though …? _

Yuuya closes his eyes. The memory is just within his grasp. Yuuya remembers the start of the letter, Yuzu telling him that she’d be home after her work shift and that her father would be home from work even later. And then …

His fingers begin to move. Yuuya presses the number keys on the cell phone, not worrying about what his memory is now. He can clearly imagine pressing those keys, one after the other. Next, Yuuya brings the phone up to his ear. His teeth sink into his lip as he tries to imagine what he’ll say to Yuzu next. What can he tell her? ‘Hey, I’m the guy who fell into a coma after seeing you. Please don’t ask how I know your number – I myself don’t even know the answer to that.’ How lame does that sound?

The dialing tone comes through the little speaker. Yuuya winces, burrowing deeper into the pillows behind him.

_ Slam!  _ goes the door. 

Yuuya drops the phone out of shock, whirling his head over to see his mother in the doorway. For once, she doesn’t have her arms laden with shopping bags. She only has a letter in her hand, which she waves for him. She drops it when she spots her cell phone in his lap.

“What’s that guilty expression for?” she asks, clicking her tongue.

Yuuya flips the phone closed, effectively ending the call. He can’t take the guilty expression off his face though, at least not when Yoko has her arms crossed before her. 

After a moment, Yoko sighs, though she still smiles up at him. “You’re not in trouble if you’re reading my e-mails. Honestly, I just talk to your cool friends.” Her own joke makes her laugh, and she sobers when she uncrosses her arms and holds up the letter. “Actually, Yuuya, I just came by to give you this.”

The envelope is small, but it’s covered in stickers and stamps. Yuuya raises an eyebrow, but Yoko doesn’t say anything as she hands it over. Yuuya holds it in his hands, turning it around to get a closer inspection at all the differently-shaped stamps on the letter. Wherever this letter has come from, it must have travelled far. As Yuuya keeps flipping it around though, dashes of kanji catch his eye – first his name, and then …

“Hope.”

Yoko’s smile is nothing short of gleaming. She sets a gentle hand on Yuuya’s knee, and says, “I’ll leave to you that, all right?”

Yuuya glances up at her. “Huh? You came just to deliver this letter?”

“It just came in the mail, so I thought you’d want to to read it asap. I’ll be back later for dinner though, so don’t worry, I’m not going for the day.”

“Thank you,” Yuuya says. 

Yoko’s hand leaves his knee, and with one last wave goodbye, she leaves the room. Yuuya takes a deep breath and lets it out. All of the sudden, the letter in his hands feels heavy, like thousands of memories are hidden inside of here. Yuuya remembers Yuuma, and yet he doesn’t. In Yuuto’s letters, he described Yuuma as someone Yuuya was trying to protect. Why though is a mystery to Yuuya, but still … Yuuma was someone important to Yuuya.

Yuuya tears off the top of the letter and fishes out the note. The first thing he notices is that Yuuma’s printing is  _ messy –  _ scribbled-out kanji everywhere and smeared pen-marks along the page make it look like some abstract piece of art. Yuuya squints as he tries to make out the first words, but the more he reads, the easier it becomes.

_ Yuuya, _

_ I found you’d woken up from your friend Yuuto – he’s a pretty cool guy, and he’s a lawyer too! I barely got to meet him, but I already know he’s a good friend too. I was so happy when you woke up. Dad says I let out a scream, although I’d rather call it a victory cheer. I said ‘KATTOBINGU!’ and I’m not sure what that means or how to convey how I felt, but it just felt like the right thing to say. _

_ When you were in a coma, I was really sad. I actually didn't think you’d wake up. That’s not the nicest thing to say, I know, but it’s true. You were badly injured, and you were in the hospital for a long time. I came to visit you at the hospital once or twice, but it hurt seeing you hooked up to all those machines. _

_ What was even more sad though was finding out from Yuuto that not only did you try and keep some of the local kids safe, but that you also tried to protect me from being a suspect in a crime. I didn’t even know about this! I remember hearing the rock go through the window, and finding out that someone slashes the tires of our delivery trucks, but I just thought that was some jerk messing around. Yuuto told me though that you did that to give me an alibi.  _

_ Yuuto didn’t know much more about that event though. Don’t worry, I don’t expect you to relay all your plans to me. I’m not even mad about that. _

_ I’m happy. _

_ Yuuya, you have a lot of hope and courage within you! _

_ I’m sorry I’m writing to you so late. A lot has happened in fifteen years – gosh, it seems like such a long time for me too! While you were asleep, my family business closed. We weren’t making as much profit, and neither my dad nor I really wanted to do what we were doing. So one day Dad and I made a plan: what do we want to do with our lives? We both have a feeling for adventure in our hearts; we’ve both always wanted to explore the dimensions. _

_ So that’s what we’re doing, plain and simple. He went west and I went east, and from then on both of us have been travelling around the world. I’m not even sure what he’s up to, but I’m certain it’s an adventure! As for me, I’ve been hopping around the world. I’ve climbed Duel Academia! I’ve travelled along the massive highways in City. I’ve even  _ DUELED ON A MOTORCYCLE!

_ I’ve been living the dream and doing what I’ve always wanted to do. The world out there is so vast and mysterious and  _ AWESOME,  _ and I can’t get enough of the adventures out there. I’ve included some photos of my trips too, in case you want to see some of the places I’ve seen. _

_ Yuuya, you’ve given me a lot of hope. You even used to call me Hope, and the nickname has stuck even today. Sometimes when I introduce myself I say, ‘Hello, I’m Hope, Bringer of Smiles!’ I laugh at my own jokes sometimes. But that nickname still means a lot to me because …  _

_ Because when you have hope, you can take a step forward with courage. You aren’t afraid to face the unknown because you believe in yourself, and people believe in you. _

_ Yuuya, that is your hope. You have a hope that moves forward, and a smile that lights up the dimensions. And I think, after meeting you and being your friend, my hope and courage has only grown. You give a lot of yourself to other people, Yuuya. It’s thanks to you that I am who I am today … and hey, it’s thanks to me that you are you too! Isn’t it great how we all rub off on each other? _

_ So thanks, Yuuya, for taking care of the dimensions.  _

_ Your awesome friend, Hope. _

_ PS: When you’re out of the hospital, let’s go on an adventure together! _

Yuuya lets the letter tumble down to his lap, covering the cell phone. He glances down at the messy, scribbled letter, and tries not to let the tears in his eyes drip onto the paper. Each breath he takes scrapes his throat, and he brings a hand to his mouth in case his emotions begin to leak out of him. He can’t cry.

Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya sees through the window a small cluster of balloons blowing in the breeze. A memory pops into his mind – he and Yuzu saw balloons once. He remembers Yuzu standing in front of a sky of coloured balloons, waving her hands to him.

Something within Yuuya  _ moves. _

He moves.

_ I’m going to meet Yuzu with my own two feet. _

_ My present is not waiting around for me. My present is moving forward and catching up the many timelines I seem to have lived in. My present is my courage, my hope, my smile. _

_ My present is where Yuzu is, and I need to find her. _


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, sorry i dropped off the face of the planet. the truth is that i was feeling a bit sick of this story and wondering if it was even worth finishing it, but then i saw that i've already written the chapter so i might as well post them, and as my longest fic i want to see this story through to its end. sorry about that though, as i know there are readers out there waiting for this fic - so thank you for your patience <3
> 
> now that i'm out of school, chapters will be on Tuesdays and Fridays unless something drastic happens. please hold me to this schedule, all right? ^^

_ _

_ Yuzu, what did you mean to me? _

_ Yuzu, who are you to me? _

_ You’re an outlier in my memories. You’re someone that exists in another timeline separate from everyone else. Sure, my mom was there, but there’s something  _ different  _ about my time with you. I don’t remember much of it, but when I see you, I smile a little brighter. Something about you makes me happy, and I want to feel that feeling again. When I saw you in the garden, something bubbled up inside me. I hope I can find that emotion again. _

A knock on the door startles Yuuya from his thoughts. It’s midday, with the sun streaming through the window and warming the bed sheets over Yuuya’s legs. Across the room, the door slides open and Reiji steps in. He has his clipboard balanced on his hip, and this pose makes him seem a little more human. 

“Hello,” Reiji says.  “Just came to check up on you –”

“Reiji,” Yuuya interrupts. He raises a hand quickly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off – actually, what I wanted – I wanted to ask you –”

“Yuuya,” Reiji says, now cutting off Yuuya’s ramble.

“Sorry,” Yuuya says again, cheeks red. He takes a deep breath, slowing down the racing of his heart. Only when Yuuya knows he won’t trip over his tongue does he speak again. “Reiji, I want to walk on crutches.”

Reiji doesn’t say anything.

Yuuya presses a bit harder: “And I want to walk downtown.”

This time, one of Reiji’s thin, grey eyebrows rises into his bangs. He doesn’t say anything though, not until Yuuya is done talking and Reiji’s stare has successfully bore a hole in Yuuya’s crippling self-confidence. When Reiji stares at him like that, suddenly Yuuya’s entire plan sounds stupid and impossible.

“You think that’s a bad idea?” Yuuya says. “I mean, it’s not the worst idea.” He gestures down to his legs which, while covered by the blankets, have regained some muscle tone to them. “I’m much steadier on my feet. Walking around the garden has helped with my balance and flexibility and strength, so I think I’m making progress.”

Again, Reiji says nothing.

Yuuya blushes and ducks his head. “You don’t think so?”

“I haven’t said anything,” Reiji says. Then he chuckles under his breath, a sound that draws out the redness of Yuuya’s cheeks out even more. “You’ve been answering your own monologue even though I never said ‘no.’”

“Sorry.”

Tapping his fingers to the clipboard, Reiji comes to sit down in a chair next to him. He crosses his legs at the ankles, and leans forward so that he and Yuuya are just a bit closer.

“Yuuya, let me tell you a story I heard from a friend. This is about a professional duelist. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the sport of professional dueling, but it requires a lot of flexibility and action. In fact, the performative professional dueling is called Action Dueling. You jump and spin and dance across the stage, all the while playing the ever-popular game of Duel Monsters.” 

Reiji pauses, lifting an eyebrow to see if Yuuya is following along with the story.

Yuuya nods.

“The duelist, Dennis, was injured during one of his Action Duels. It was a minor duel, but unfortunately a major accident that required surgery and rehabilitation. The doctors recommended at least six months of recovery, but Dennis had an upcoming tournament in  _ four  _ months. On top of that, Dennis was forbidden from exercising for the first two months – no jumping, no spinning, and no dueling. 

“Now it’s true that Dennis could have simply entered another stream of dueling, but Action Dueling and Entertainment Dueling bring enthusiasm to the duelist and their audience. You put a lot more of your heart and soul into Action Duels. And so Dennis did not want to give up on his goal. He recovered at a breathtaking speed. It was dangerous for him since, if he pushed himself too hard, the injury might just grow and cause permanent muscle and bone damage; however, that did not stop Dennis. He still made it all the way to the tournament.”

Yuuya smiles at Reiji. “So how well did he do?”

Reiji does not return the smile. “Yuuya, you have recovered faster than Dennis.”

_ That’s not the answer I wanted,  _ Yuuya thinks. Then his smile drops and he frowns.  _ Does that mean Dennis screwed up and lost the competition? _

Reiji keeps talking though in the sombre voice. “Yuuya, your case is even more miraculous than Dennis’. It’s nothing short of a miracle that you are breathing and walking today.” He hums under his breath, drawing his arms together and crossing them over his chest. For just a second, Yuuya sees a flicker of fear cross Reiji’s face.

“Dr. Reiji … are you scared?”

Reiji does not answer.

Yuuya presses on: “Are you saying that the speed of my recovery worries you? Are you worried I am already pushing myself too much, and that I might cause some permanent damage?”

“No.” Reiji shakes his head, and lets himself sink back in the chair a bit. “No, I’m not worried at all, Yuuya. As much as medical science can prove injuries and illnesses, it cannot predict miraculous recoveries. What I think has helped you, Yuuya, so that you can walk and breath today … is hope.”

“Hope?” Yuuya echoes.

“You have hope within you, Yuuya, and you don’t let go of your dreams.” Reiji stands, brushing down his uniform and balancing his clipboard against his hip. “I believe you’ll be OK on crutches, Yuuya. I have hope in your recovery.”

_ I believe …  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ Dr. Reiji believes in me too. _

Hope and love well up in Yuuya’s chest, threatening to spill out of his eyes and make him a weepy mess. Quickly, Yuuya raises a hand to his eyes and mouth, and sniffs softly. “T-thank you, Dr. Reiji,” he says.

“I’ll be right back with your crutches,” Reiji says. He turns and makes it halfway out the door before he turns around, looking over his shoulder. Yuuya pauses, waiting for Reiji to say something – and then Reiji smiles. He has a small, modest sort of smile that barely tucks the corners of his mouth up, but it brings with it a warm, fuzzy feeling. “And Yuuya,” Reiji adds, “that duelist – Dennis Mackfield … he won first place.”

Reiji closes the door, leaving Yuuya alone in the room. The soft sunlight streams all across the floor and bed, warming the room up. Just outside of the window, Yuuya can hear muted sounds of people wandering in the garden, and even the busier city sounds. He looks out the window once more, eyes falling on the tip-tops of the buildings. 

When the door reopens, it’s a nurse who steps in to hand him his crutches. They’re made of silver metal, with the arm pieces wrapped with tea-towels. Yuuya scoots to the edge of the bed to accept them. When he stands up on them, his weight tumbles down for a second before his legs catch his body and keep him steady. Yuuya quickly finds that the crutches aren’t meant to support his full weight – they’re more of a balancing tool.

They help with walking though. Yuuya practices walking with crutches all the way down the hallway and to the elevator. The first few steps he takes make him wince, but slowly he gains a rhythm that doesn’t hurt his legs or ankles, and that doesn’t make the armrests of the crutches dig painfully into his armpits.

Once Yuuya is outside though, all those feelings go away. When the sun lands on his face, Yuuya takes a deep, welcoming breath of fresh air. This is the first time he’s left the hospital since his coma. While this area of the city seems less familiar, Yuuya doesn’t have to walk far to begin to recognise street names and buildings. His surroundings give him a sense of deja vu, as if he’s walked down these very same streets before.

The trek though is tiring. With the sun burning down his back, Yuuya quickly becomes fatigued. His breaths come out as pants; sweat drips down his neck and back. The longer Yuuya walks, the less exciting the trip becomes. He spots familiar places, but none of them trigger any memories. Worst of all, he doesn't see Yuzu. Sure, Maiami City is huge, but Yuuya thought that if he left the hospital he’d find Yuzu right away.

At the crosswalk, Yuuya pauses to catch his breath. He leans against the telephone pole, debating whether he wants to put more of his weight on his legs or on the crutches; at the moment, both of them are twinging with pain.

_ Pain means I’m alive though. This pain is good pain. The feeling of the wind in my hair, the smell of pizza … those are real smells. I am alive and moving forward. _

A cool gust of air blows past him, coming from a truck that speeds right past the crosswalk. Yuuya closes his eyes, relishing in the blast of wind –

And he remembers a truck barrelling down the road, past a little boy who wanted to cross at the crosswalk and who Yuuya told to cross at a different location. The truck was going to hit the little boy unless Yuuya reacted, and Yuuya did react and do something. He tried to stop the truck, banging on the window to get the driver's attention –

_ I was hit by a car, wasn’t I? _

_ I was … in the hospital. _

Yuuya remembers that hospital room. He was elsewhere in Maiami City General Hospital, in the emergency ward maybe. He was in a room though, and there was a pink-haired girl sitting next to him. That was Yuzu, Yuuya realises. Yuzu in her pink dress, with her hair pulled up in two pigtails high on her head. When she found out he’d been hurt, she came to the hospital to wait for him –

_ I have a dream. It’s not like I’d be embarrassed or anything.  _

_ When I say words it feels like they become real after they leave my lips. _

Yuuya swallows.

_ That’s right. Yuzu and I … we were co-workers. We both worked part-time at Maiami Pizza; she was a student at MaiamiU, and I was a mangaka. But then I started researching … something, and she helped me out. I remember one time when we went to this abandoned building, and Yuzu joked that kids liked to play in abandoned places. And sure enough, when we went there, we found kids fooling around. Yuzu and I saved one of them from a fall too. _

_ What did Yuzu say to me after that day. Oh yeah,  _ “Sakaki-kun, are you a god of death?”  _ She was so weird when she said that, but I admired her bluntness. Objectively speaking, her words make a lot of sense. _

_ And then … next, Yuzu saved  _ me.  _ She found me when I was running away from the police from … something. Wait … she told me something else. _

“Yuuya, there’s no way you killed your mom.”

_ I … killed Mom? I didn’t – but you, Yuzu, were the only one who believed me. You believed in my innocence, and you kept believing even when things turned bleak. And in turn, I believed you. You had a dream, Yuzu. You never told me it back then, but I found out this time. I remember what you said. _

Deep within Yuuya’s mind, the lock on the door seems to open. His memories come flooding back – memories of sitting under the bridge with Yuzu, her laughing along with him, her tucking her hair behind her ears. Yuuya sees her smile at him, such a bold and beautiful girl. She was there for him.

Yuuya hears the beep of the crossing light, and before he’s trampled by the other pedestrians Yuuya crosses the street. This time, he lets himself walk where he wants to walk. His feet seem to know where to go, and Yuuya doesn’t pay any attention to his surroundings. There’s somewhere that his body wants him to go, somewhere in the heart of Maiami City. Yuuya recognises snatches of the area.

He doesn’t push the thoughts though. He lets them take him into the Maiami Central train station, a large, silver building with various checkpoints that Yuuya has to go through. He pays for a train ticket even though he’s not sure where exactly he’ll go … and what he’s doing here.

When Yuuya is up on the platform, he forces his feet to stop. He needs to figure out where he’s going. All around him are posters and advertisements. People brush past him all along the platform, nearly knocking into him. Yuuya realises that, in fact, he’s on a path  _ above  _ the platform, a sort of windowed tunnel that he can peek through and look down at the trains below. Yuuya has been on trains before, and in distant memories he remembers sitting inside one such tunnel with Yuuto –

But Yuuto isn’t here.

Walking down the platform and towards a staircase leading up to the tunnel is Yuzu, her pink hair bouncing around her shoulders. She has on a pink checkered summer dress, with a shawl around her shoulders. She looks effortlessly classy, hair windswept, expression content. The sunlight follows her along the platform and up the stairs.

_ I’ve dreamt of this day before … _

Yuuya sees Yuzu climb up the stairs. When she gets to the top, then Yuuya can see her at the other end of the tunnel, among the hundreds of other people walking to and from the train station. Yuuya holds his own in the traffic, never taking his eyes off of Yuzu. She seems unaware of his presence, headphones in her ears.

_ Yuzu … I found you. _

Yuuya lets his eyes slip closed.

_ Yuzu, you are everywhere in my future memories. There is a future with you in it … and now you’re in my present too. Back then, in the future, you were my friend. You helped me when I was down. You took care of me. _

_ You believed in me. _

_ I think, during those times, you were my present. You were who was most important to me. And, while it’s sad that I have no memories of my middle school and high school days, I’m glad you are still in my life.  _

_ You were someone important to me, Yuzu. _

Something stings Yuuya, jolting his hand back to his heart. Yuuya winces from the pain that then spreads up his arm and to his chest. In his mind, Yuuya sees terrible, grotesque scenes straight out a horror movie: a girl lying face-down in her bedroom, smoke billowing around her. A girl hiding under the bridge, peeking around the corner and looking thoroughly shaken-up. A girl crying to the police officers, screaming at them to let her go, let  _ him go – _

_ You always believed me, Yuzu. _

Yuzu approaches him now, inches away from him. She brushes shoulders with him, and nods her head in apology. Her bangs caress the tops of her rosy cheeks, and her blue eyes blink twice at him. She must not remember him, or maybe Yuuya’s face has changed so much for her – but Yuzu looks like the same person to Yuuya. She’s the same girl from all the timelines, one of the few people who never let go of him.

She smiles up at him.

_ I remember that smile. _

_ I’ve seen that smile on every person who I’ve helped, every friend I’ve met in everytime time. _

_ I … know what happened back then. _

_ I remember going back in time, or at least I think that’s what it was. I remember seeing Reira all by herself in the park, and I  _ knew  _ I had to protect her. She was being abused in her own home, and she was a target for a serial kidnapper and killer in the dimensional cities. I had to protect her, and I couldn’t do it by myself. I had Yuuto and Yuuri help me out. _

_ And because I saved Reira, I lived a life with him. I climbed that huge mountain behind the school. I celebrated my birthday with Reira. I went to class and laughed and played and studied – my school year changed for the better because I made a difference. _

That was my return.

_ But it didn’t end there. Reira had to leave at some point … she went away for a few days, just enough for me to understand how lonely I could be without someone important in my life. And Reira told me up on that mountain overlooking Heartland City that she felt the same way. We were both loners, and we came together. _

_ Those are my memories too. I have memories where I  _ won.  _ I have memories where Reira and Yuuri and Rin didn’t die, where I returned. _

Yuuya lifts his head. Behind him, Yuzu has moved on through the crowd and down to the other side of the terminal. She must be heading out of the station, perhaps to classes or to work. In the other timeline, she was a part-time worker at the Maiami Pizza and a full-time student at MaiamiU. Yuuya wonders if that’s the same now, or if something has changed because he wasn’t around. Would Yuzu still be working at the pizza shop with Faker?

Yuzu disappears around the corner.

Yuuya fishes around in his pockets for his cell-phone, and he dials Yuuto’s number. His mother programmed his cell phone to include everyone’s number should he need help. Yuuya’s legs don’t even hurt, but it’s the first thing Yuuto says to him.

“I’m fine.” Yuuya chuckles.

“Are you sure?” Yuuto says. “I can come and pick you up.”

“I don’t think you can even drive,” Yuuya says. “Honestly, Yuuto, I’m not as breakable as I once was. No, I was just thinking, and let me just throw my ideas out there, that I think I’m remembering a bit more about my past. It’s not a lot, but I can run it by you, if you’d like.”

“Sure,” Yuuto says. 

And so Yuuya tells Yuuto about everything he can remember: about school, about Reira, about the other kidnappings. He tells him about Yuuma and the letter too, which elicits a soft laugh from Yuuto.

“You wanted to protect Hope too, didn’t you?”

“That card game guy … Hope, you called him … was a good guy all along. A bit odd, a bit dorky, but well-meaning.” The phone speaker crackles, as if Yuuto is changing position. “You had a good sense of justice back then. I think that’s why we all followed along despite none of us knowing much about the case. I knew there was a kidnapper in the other cities, but the evidence you gave us  _ was  _ pretty weak.”

Yuuya hums. “About that case, Yuuto … I don’t think I know yet who the criminal could be. There’s no one in my memories who stands out to me. There’s no one I’ve seen either …”

There’s a pause before Yuuto speaks, and his voice comes out soft: “Does that bother you, Yuuya?”

“Huh?”

“That you can’t remember that detail.”

“No, no … well, yes, but it’s complicated.” Yuuya settles against the wall. He draws one hand towards his chest, feeling for the race of his heart. However, underneath his fingers the pulse is steady. He doesn’t feel the slightest bit of nervousness in his body, but in his mind Yuuya can feel the wheels churning. “It bugs me that I can’t remember that exact detail, but maybe I never figured it out.”

“I think you did,” Yuuto says. “I think you solved the case, and the killer found out – that’s why he targeted you.”

“Did we figure out the case though?” Yuuya presses. “I don’t think I solved it until that moment … but maybe I was close. Too close, and that’s why the killer went after me.”

Yuuto nods. “I said it before: you broke his pattern. All the previous cases were of elementary school  _ girls  _ and the crime was pinned on someone close to them, either their parents or close male friends. For you though, you were the first  _ boy  _ and there was  _ no one  _ to pin the crime on. That’s why your injury was claimed as an ‘accident.’”

As hopeful as Yuuto’s words sound, Yuuya can’t help but sigh at them. “Then I should remember that part then. You believe me about everything else, right?”

“Right.”

“Then … I guess that’s good enough.”

Yuuto adjust the phone again, creating a crackle through the microphone. Yuuya hears Yuuto talking to someone on the other end, though the voice is muffled as if Yuuto has his hand over the microphone. Patiently, Yuuya waits and listens. The voice rings a bell in his ears, and didn’t Yuuto say that he was working with Do … Doru … 

“Sorry, that was my co-worker,” Yuuto says, voice now clear. “You still there, Yuuya?”

“Yeah, I’m still here,” Yuuya says. “I’ve got to head home now though, or else Mom is going to panic. I can’t hold the phone either …” Yuuya laughs. “But come back to the hospital soon, OK? It’s really nice … to have you around.”

“I’m thankful everyday that you woke up. Talk to you later, Yuuya.”

“See you, Yuuto.”

The phone clicks closed. Just in case Yuzu might be lingering around, Yuuya glances down the hallway and out to the platform. He doesn’t see any pink hair though, so he pockets his cell and slowly makes his way down the hall and towards the exit. From time to time, Yuuya looks around corners or through shop windows. He sees snatches of pink, and even snatches of purple, but he doesn’t see anyone familiar until he gets to the hospital.

When Yuuya steps through the doors, he half-expects Yuzu to be there. His memory of her at the hospital is still fresh in his mind, but instead who greets him is someone much shorter and with green hair tied up with a red ribbon.

“Kotori –”

“There you are!” she crows. She dashes into him, but slows her pace just before she collides. Her thin arms wrap all the way around his waist and she buries her cheek into his tummy. “You were gone so long!”

“I was gone like two hours max,” Yuuya says, “but I’m glad to hear you missed me.” He looks ahead and down the halls in case Yoko is hiding behind a pillar. He doesn’t see her anywhere, though perhaps she’s up in the room.

Kotori leans back and cranes her neck over her shoulder. “Ms. Yoko is in your room, but first …” Kotori pulls on Yuuya’s shirt, causing him to bend over. Then she slaps a hand over his forehead. Her little eyebrows crunch together and cause crease lines along her own forehead. 

Yuuya tries to look up at what she’s doing. “Uh, Kotori …”

“I’m checking for a fever,” she says. She purses her lips, and then brings her other hand up to feel her own forehead. She keeps her expression stern though, as if trying to figure out whether Yuuya truly does feel warmer than her. Yuuya keeps glancing back and forth at the hand on his face until at last Kotori releases him with a sigh.

“I can’t tell,” she says. “Maybe you’re warm because you were outside, or maybe it’s another kind of sickness.” At that thought, she suddenly jumps back twice and holds up her hand. “Tell me how many fingers I’m holding up!”

“Kotori, I’m –”

“How many?” she shouts over him.

“Two,” Yuuya says, “but honestly, Kotori, I feel fine. What’s with this?”

“But you’re  _ not  _ fine,” Kotori says. She comes closer once more, and peers deep into his eyes. Yuuya has no clue what she’s looking for or how she’s diagnosing, though perhaps she’s mimicking an examination she had done when she was in the hospital. “You’re acting really sad and mopey sometimes, and other times you’re really confused.”

Brushing off her concern, Yuuya says, “Well, it’s not being at a hospital is the happiest place ever.”

“But you’re acting  _ weird,”  _ Kotori says. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It really is nothing – I promise.” Yuuya raises a hand, adjusting the crutches under his arms. “Coming back to all of this, realising that I missed so much of my life and that everyone grew up without me … well, that’s not true because they never left, but still …” Yuuya sighs, and through his bangs he peeks at Kotori. “It’s hard to explain how I’m feeling.”

Kotori’s face doesn’t soften. “If you’re really sad,” she says, “maybe you should do something fun. Whenever I felt sad or sick, I tried to make myself feel better, even when I was stuck in the hospital.”

Yuuya forces a smile, though he even knows it’s weak. “I don’t know if I can fix this feeling –”

“How about a vacation?”

Yuuya raises an eyebrow.  _ Didn’t you want to go on a vacation?  _ he wants to say, but before he can think through his thoughts Kotori is dragging him down the hallway to a large, messy bulletin board. Tacked onto the corkboard surface are dozens of flyers and advertisements, mostly for renting medical equipment or for specialised doctors and services for outpatients. Yet there’s one that stands out just a bit more since it’s a advertisement for a  _ summer camp  _ – a weekend trip for sick patients and elementary schoolers. It looks like the kind of trip to give young children empathy experience with other sick children and adults.

Kotori has spotted it too. 

“This one, this one!” she says, tapping her fingers onto the glossy surface. There’s a background of fireworks and campfires. In large, bold lettering it reads:

_ Camp Performapal _

_ A Weekend Retreat for Maiami Central Patients and Maiami Elementary School Children _

_ Sponsored by the Maiami City Council _

“I want to go  _ there!”  _ Kotori says to him. “Look at that – camping and canoeing and a scavenger hunt and everything!”

Yuuya hums in agreement. Since he’s got his memories of going on the field trip, he remembers climbing up to Academia and looking out at the Fusion Dimension below. Though Yuuya isn’t sure how he has those memories, looking at the advertisement makes him long for nights curled around the fire with his friends. 

_ In this timeline, I didn’t go to Academia.  _

_ In this timeline, I never had that fun summer vacation. _

Yuuya glances down at Kotori bouncing on the balls of her heels. All the energy in her body makes her quiver, and when she glances up at him her gaze is so powerful Yuuya can’t look away. For Kotori who’s been awake and in the hospital, what would this trip mean for her? She was just talking about a summer vacation too …

_ Enjoy your present, right? _


	62. Chapter 62

_ In September 1986, a little girl died. She was in fourth grade and an elementary schooler in Synchro City. Her body was found in her home; she was killed in the bathroom, drugged with sleeping pills and suffocated from carbon monoxide poisoning. The forensic team determined that the pills were not a cause of her death, but rather ensured that she remained in the locked bathroom while the coal briquette burned. _

_ The main suspect was the girl’s father. He denied killing his daughter. He was a hardworking man who built and repaired motorbikes, but apparently he had complained about housework loud enough for a neighbour to think that he didn’t want to raise a child.  _

_ The man was brought to court. Acting as his defense attorney was Mr. Kamishiro, a famous lawyer for convicted criminals. Mr. Kamishiro stated that there was nothing but inferences from circumstantial evidence and rumours that could pin the crime on the man. However, this evidence didn’t stand up to the dimensional court, and the man was sentenced twelve years in prison in July 1987. _

_ The man’s appeals were rejected. _

_ In November 1988, the sentence was finalised. _

_ I didn’t get to meet the man until later, not until I was a young adult myself and interested in my father’s cases. Mr. Crow Hogan wasn’t released from jail until December 1996 after serving his sentence. He was still on parole, but he was free. I remember seeing his face though – he had no future, no reason for living. His child was dead; both his job and house were gone, and it was unlikely he’d be able to have any normal life with his criminal record. _

_ I wanted to help that man …  but I didn’t. _

_ On September 2001, fifteen years after the child’s death, the statute of limitations expired. It became a ‘cold case’; no longer could I re-open or bring forth further evidence from the case.  _

_ On that same day, standing in the pouring rain, I met Durbe. I was so angry that I came to him, a detective that was friend’s with Sakaki Yoko and who I knew was interested in the serial kidnappings and killings in the dimensional cities. I couldn’t do anything to help Crow, and I was pissed even when I found Durbe. I cried my eyes out to him because  _ I was too late.

_ Durbe just watched me that day. Then he took me by the shoulder and brought me under the umbrella. Rainwater dripped down my face; I could barely see his soft expression through the droplets clinging to my hair. Durbe knew about the expiration of that case; he knew it became a cold case – and still he didn’t cry, didn’t do anything but lead me out of the rain and to his office. For Durbe, he’d experienced so many cold cases that he’d become accustom to the feeling of the truth slipping through his fingers. He’d been researching those cold cases for far longer than I had; he knew the taste of defeat well. _

Yuuto leans back on his heels, hands tucked in the pockets of his corduroys. Before him stands the great, oppressive corkboard littered with pictures of young children and their case reports. The statute of limitations of all the cases has expired, leaving the board a collaboration of mistakes and failed attempts. When Yuuto gazes up at the pictures of young faces, his heart sinks to his toes.

At his desk, Durbe waves a manila folder back and forth between his calloused fingers. “Hey, stop looking at what you can’t change and come here.”

Yuuto tears his gaze away, but he lets it linger in the stale office air for a bit longer. He slumps down in a chair at the front of Durbe’s desk. No one has ever sat here before as Durbe often does interviews out in the field instead of in his office, but still Yuuto wriggles himself down into the space and imagines he’s in the shoes of an interviewee. Durbe stares across the desk. He’s stopped twirling the paper, and now has it open and spread out before Yuuto.

“There’s one more murder left to explore … just one.”

Yuuto rolls his eyes over it. “Does it expire soon?”

“Thankfully no. Look here, it’s a case opened in 2001.”

Yuuto leafs through it, though he has to admit his energy and enthusiasm has dwindled over the years. Finding out that Yuuya is awake has awakened his hope in his friend’s health and wellbeing, but it doesn’t erase the guilt that’s chipped away at Yuuto these past fifteen years. This case is just another example of …

Yuuto’s eyes crinkle. “There’s no suspect … is there?”

Durbe shakes his head. His lips curl up in a small smile, and he brings his hands together and rests them atop the desk. “This case is still open because they haven’t found the criminal – either the ‘true criminal’ or the pinned target. In every other case besides your friend Yuuya’s, there was an easy target.” Durbe taps his fingers down on the picture of a little girl, age 10, from Maiami City. “How come she’s different?”

Yuuto shrugs.

Durbe keeps his attention though: “I wonder what mistake the killer made: this case reeks of what he would have done. The age of the victim, the way the murder was dealt with and cleaned up … it all points to him. The only problem is that this time there was no easy target to pin the murder on. I wonder if that’s the police’s fault for not catching the evidence the killer set aside, or if the killer truly made another mistake.”

_ He made a mistake before,  _ Yuuto tells himself.  _ He tried to kill Yuuya and failed … and this time he succeeded, sort of, but he made another mistake. _

“Are you certain this is him?” Yuuto says. “He’s not really prone to making those mistakes, not twice, and not after Yuuya –”

“I’m certain.” Durbe taps his fingers on the picture. “This case meets all the conditions for the murder. Besides, this is the last case we’ve uncovered. This is our last hope at finding the real killer. Should we brush it aside so easily?”

Leaning back, Yuuto lets out a large breath through his nose. He stares up at the ceiling, arms behind his head, and sighs again and again just to fill up the silence. “I guess,” he says.

Durbe leans forward in his seat, hands under his chin. His ageless face crinkles in another warm smile that Yuuto spots from the corner of his eye. “Have hope, right?”

“Have hope.”

* * *

“Up, up! Faster, faster!” Kotori says. She taps the buttons on the elevator panel in the hopes that it’ll make the great contraption move quicker, but instead it just seems to make a racket in the little cubicle that sets Yuuya’s teeth on edge.

“Kotori, you’re going to just make it take longer.”

“No I’m not,” she says. She crinkles the advertisement in her hands – the same one that was once on the bulletin board visible for the other patients at the hospital. Kotori had ripped it off the corkboard so she could take it to Yoko. With his teeth in his lip, Yuuya doesn’t have the patience or energy to tell her to bring the flier back downstairs. After all, he’s a bit interested in this trip too, even if it looks like it’ll be more fun for the younger children.

“We’ve gotta show it to Yoko,” Kotori tells him. “She’ll pay for this, won’t she?”

“Maybe,” Yuuya says with a shrug.

When the doors open, Kotori bursts forward and down the hallway. She tears past carts and stretchers in the aisles, and then through the door leading into Yuuya’s room. Yuuya hears her prattling on even from the elevator door. It takes him much longer to get to his room; after having walked around town after Yuzu, his legs feel sorer than he remembers. 

In his room, he finds Yoko sitting on the bed with a book. She has her finger in it to mark her page while Kotori animatedly talks about the field trip. Kotori has the brochure in her hand too which she jabs at with her small, round fingers.

“Ms. Yoko, there’s this amazing trip Yuuya and I can go on – look, look! See it’s at a campground, and so you have the spend the night and everything. It’s just like what I was telling you and Dr. Reiji and Yuuya about when we all ate curry. This is the kind of trip I want to go on, and it’s not even that expensive – and Yuuya can come too! You can too! Actually, you can come because I need an adult with me, and I bet you’d have much more fun than my mom.”

As Yuuya rounds the corner, he catches Yoko’s twinkling gaze. She doesn't say anything, but her presence on the bed invites Yuuya to come over. He topples onto the covers and buries his head into the sheets just to take the pressure off of his legs. When he rolls over, he finds both Yoko and Kotori staring at him.

“Did you know about this camp, Yuuya?” Yoko says.

“I showed him it!” Kotori says. “I saw it this morning and thought, This looks just like what Yuuya needs! Didn’t you miss your last camping trip? Now you can go on a field trip since you’ve woken up.”

Yuuya nods. “It does look like a lot of fun –”

“And it’s really, really cheap!”

Yoko plucks the paper from Kotori’s sweaty fingers and peers over it. “Camp Performapal … in Maiami City.”

Kotori’s head bobs up and down so fast that Yuuya worries it might snap clean off. “Yep, and it’s held every year! I remember seeing some ad like that when  _ I  _ was in the hospital, but I was too sick to go. This year though I can go, and I bet you can too, Yuuya!”

Yoko’s gaze returns to the sheet. She hums and hahs as Kotori babbles on about how she remembers being so sad when the other children in the hospital went on vacation. When she looks up again, she asks, “So Kotori, what’s so awesome about this place? I bet you know a bit more about the camp than Yuuya and I do.”

"Oh well," Kotori says, "it's like a wilderness amusement park! There are rides, and cabins – and you can take these little boats and paddle around a lake. When my friends went there too, they walked along this huge suspension bridge that passed over the water. They were so scared they'd slip through the boards and fall into the water, but it's totally safe."

Yoko taps her chin. "A wilderness amusement park ..." She smiles. "Yuuya, you used to talk about those sorts of trips when you were a kid. Do you remember?"

Yuuya blushes. Truth be told, he remembers far too much of his past, so he does remember telling his mom about the hiking and camping trips he wanted to take when he was in fifth grade. He wanted to go camping with his friends. Maybe, if he hadn't gotten in that accident, he would have gone to Camp Performapal with his school friends.

As Yuuya thinks about the trip, Yoko leafs through the brochure. "Yuuya, you'll be fine to go so long as we get permission from Dr. Reiji ... but do you need doctor's permission too, Kotori?"

Kotori shrugs her shoulders. "I know I need a guardian." She droops forward like a wilting flower, her green curls hanging over her eyes. "Yeah, I do ..."

It feels like a gloomy cloud has passed over the entire room. Kotori had been so interested in going too.

With a chuckle, Yoko tosses a small, silver flip phone up and down. "Why the long face, kiddo?" she says. She places one hand on Kotori's small shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze. "I'll make the call to your mama right now and we'll ask her together. Even if she can't come, maybe there's a way to get permission for you to come with me and Yuuya. After all, you said you missed this trip before – why not come with us to celebrate your recovery?"

Kotori's eyes glisten with unshed tears. "You – you really –"

"Strike while the iron is hot," Yoko says with a hearty laugh. "I'll go make the call right now, all right? You stay here with Yuuya." She hops up and hurries out of the room. Yuuya stifles his laughter when he sees his mother swinging her hips from side to side. In the past, Yuuya remembers his mother being a go-getter kind of woman, never one to dawdle on what-ifs; she would always take the bull by the horns.

Turning back to Kotori, Yuuya sees that she's drawn her legs up to her stomach and tucked her chin between her knees. She rocks back and forth on the bed, looking at bit dazed now.

"I didn't think I'd be able to go ..." she says after a moment. "I always wanted to go, but I never thought I'd actually be able to." She tilts her head to the side, peering through the corners of her eyes. "Yuuya, did you ever get to go camping? Do you want to go now?"

Yuuya shrugs a shoulder. His mind is dazed from so many thoughts, but a lingering ache in his heart tells him that this trip might do him good. But when he opens his mouth, his mind tugs him back and forth to all the memories jumbled in his brain. What if there's a memory of him going camping? What if he's got more memories than he can possibly hold together, and soon his mind is going to explode and he'll forget everything once more –

"Knock. Knock."

Yuuya blinks, startled from his thoughts. Crouched before him is Kotori, leaning over the bed with one of her hands on his knees. She holds her other hand up, fingers tight in a fist, and she taps her fist over an invisible barrier. "Knock. Knock," she says again.

Yuuya blinks once more. "What ... are you doing?"

"You feel like you're stuck in an invisible shell, and if I smash it maybe you'll come out." Kotori huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. "Y'know, sometimes it's like your heart is invisible, and that's why you're hiding away. So maybe you need some fresh air, get out of this stuffy hospital room. I hope ..." She smiles, a quirk of her lips tucked away at the side of her mouth. "I hope you come with me."

Before Yuuya has a chance to respond, Yoko slides open the hospital door. She holds the phone aloft, a triumphant grin on her round face. "Guess who's going to Camp Performapal?"

Kotori nearly leaps off the bed. "Me!" she crows, throwing her hands up in the air. She dashes across the room and into Yoko's arms. Yoko swings Kotori around the room, the two of them laughing and giggling so loudly that the entire ward must be able to hear them. On the bed, Yuuya feels a laugh begin to bubble in his throat. His mother used to swing him around like that too.

"Yuuya."

He lifts his head.

His mother has set Kotori down, and now stands with her hands on her hips. She purses her lips, looking like she's bitten a lemon – and then she smiles again, and Yuuya feels his heart begin to melt.

"All three of us are going to Camp Performapal."

Kotori dances around the room, laughing and giggling. Yuuya glances from Yoko to Kotori to the camp flier, and he can't help the giggle that bursts from his lips. It feels like a dream come true, and for once his head doesn't feel like it'll explode with all the past memories. After all, it doesn't matter what memories he carries with him. Right now, he's living this new life with his mother and friends. That's what is most important to him.

Yuuya sets down the flier and takes a deep breath. "When do we –"

"Yuuya!" Kotori interrupts. "You've got a visitor! Someone – someone came to see you!"

Yuuya opens his mouth to tell her that plenty of people have come to see him at the hospital, but his eyes widen when he spots Yuuto standing abashedly in the doorway. No matter how many times Yuuya sees him, Yuuto looks the same as he did when he was little: dressed in slacks and a dress shirt, purple bangs combed behind one of his ears. He waves a hand, but by the darting of his eyes he seems to know that he's walked in on a celebration of sorts.

"Hey," Yuuya says, waving back. He pushes himself up on the bed.

"Hey yourself," Yuuto says. "Celebrating?"

Yoko chuckles. "We're going camping – just got the all-clear from the docs and parents."

"Good, good." Yuuto tilts his head towards Yuuya. "Mind if I borrow him for a bit before the party starts?"

"You don't have to ask my mom for permission," Yuuya says, cheeks reddening. He pushes himself off the bed, reaching for his crutches that he sets under his arms. He's wrapped towels around them to ease the pain in his armpits, but he still winces by the time he crosses the room. Over his shoulder, he calls out, "Going to get some fresh air –"

"There'll be fresher air at Camp Performapal!" Kotori says.

Yuuto raises an eyebrow. "Camp ... Performapal?"

"I'll tell you about it later," Yuuya says. He nudges Yuuto with his crutches, and the two of them head down the hallway and out the doors. Since Yuuto has visited him so often, he knows the way through the hospital and to the courtyard. When Yuuya steps into the warm sunshine, he feels his heart lighten. It's a blue sky day.

He and Yuuto head down the cobblestone path that snakes through the courtyard, and settle under thick trees with hanging canopies. Yuuya winces as he sets the crutches down, and he nearly flops onto the soft, grassy bed. When he looks up, slivers of sunlight pierce through the leaves. Yuuya closes his eyes to the light, but then opens them all too soon when he feels Yuuto shift towards him.

"You hanging in there?" Yuuto asks.

"Yeah," Yuuya says, though even he can tell that his voice isn't all that convincing.

"So that camp ..."

"That little girl, Kotori – she wants to go, and so my mom and I are tagging along as her guardians. It'll be fine, I'm sure ... good for me even."

Out of the corner of his eye, Yuuya sees Yuuto chew on his lip.

"I'm sure it'll be quite the attraction." As if realising what he's said, Yuuto quickly raises a hand. "I mean, no offense, Yuuya, but your recovery is a medical miracle, and I'm sure the camp leaders will even see it as such. Gosh, there'll probably be an announcement of sorts." He rubs his head, glancing away. "That means, if it's in the news, anyone will see where you're going ..."

Yuuya raises an eyebrow. "Are you worried?"

Yuuto nods stiffly. "At the hospital, you're safe. I've ... never told your mother this before, but I was worried when you were by yourself at home. What if the killer found you again? What if he tried to finish what he started? Since you've woken up, your face has been all over the news. I'm sure you've come across reporters trying to get a scoop on your recovery."

Yuuya grimaces. Yep, he's met those sorts of people before.

"So then I think the killer might know you've woken up too. He has too; I'm certain of it. There's no way he hasn't been following your case, especially if we consider that he made a mistake when he tried to kill you." Yuuto presses a hand to Yuuya's shoulder. "This isn't stressing you out, is it?"

"No," Yuuya says, and then more firmly, "No, I want to know this. This matters."

"I'm glad." Yuuto lets out a long, slow breath. "You're safe if you're at the hospital because your contact with strangers is limited to your family, close friends, and hospital personnel. Originally, I was worried that the killer might be in contact with the hospital and there might be a way for him to get to you ... but since you've woken up, I don't think the killer has left any clues to support that theory."

"He could've killed me if he found me ..." Yuuya swallows. All these years, he's been in hiding, hasn't he? His mother rarely left the house, and she kept close watch of him until she needed to return to work. Even then, only his close friends knew where he lived. Even if Yoko never knew about the killer, he was always being protected, watched, hidden ...

"Sorry," Yuuto says again. "I don't mean to say that you should always have your guard up and not trust anyone –"

"That's right," Yuuya says. "Instead, I should be standing out."

Yuuto's mouth drops. "No, that's not – that's not what I meant by –"

"But that would draw the killer out, wouldn't he?" Yuuya spins to face Yuuto, and this time he grabs hold of Yuuto's shoulder, steadying himself. "That would draw the killer out of hiding because he must want to finish what he started, and so if I keep hiding that will only keep the killer away –"

_ "Yuuya,"  _ Yuuto says, "that's –"

"That's a strategy," Yuuya finishes. "All this time, ever since we were children, we've been fighting this killer. First it was you, then it was us, then it was you ... and now it's us again. We've never given up, but I think ... no, I know that we need another clue. Unless we find another clue, we won't be able to track this killer."

Yuuto's teeth sink into his lip. "But ..."

"For so long, this killer has gotten away with his crimes. You said before that he's been on the downlow, and so we've stalled some of his actions; but we don't get to say we've won until we serve justice and bring him down. We don't get to say we've won until this is all over. I think, after all this time, there aren't many people looking for him – so that's why, more now than ever, we need to finish this.

"We should lure him to the Camp. He'll come after me – I know he will. After all, if I regain my memories, I'll be able to take him down. No ... no more than that, so long as I'm living, he hasn't won. So long as I am alive and breathing, his work is not complete."

"You know how messed up that sounds, right?"

Yuuya laughs, a short, dry sound. "Yeah, I do."

But instead of arguing with him, Yuuto just lies back on the grass, pillowing his head with his hands. He takes a deep breath that seems to come from his toes, and when he lets the air out, his face softens. "You've been thinking about this, haven't you? I can see the worry lines – you're gonna turn into an old man."

Yuuya sticks out his tongue. "I hope the killer comes and finds me," he says, and his grin widens at the incredulous look on Yuuto's face. "Yuuto ... something bad happened a long time ago, not just to me. I don't want all the people who've been hurt, all the families that have been torn apart ... I don't want all those painful events to end in vain. I've always believed in justice and I won't give up."

_ After all,  _ Yuuya thinks,  _ in previous timelines, in my other lives, my friends have died. Back then, there were more people that died – people close to me, people that I loved with all my heart and soul. I don't want to think about Reira or Mom's deaths, or Yuzu's arrest – I don't want to think about that. So if I have to stop the killer, I have to bring justice for everyone, not just for myself. _

Yuuto tucks his head into the space between Yuuya's neck and shoulder. The two of them lay side by side, head to head. When Yuuya breathes, Yuuto breathes with him. They feel so in sync that, if Yuuya closes his eyes, he can't tell where his body ends and where Yuuto's begins.

"I'm happy to hear that," Yuuto whispers to him.

A breeze dances over their cheeks.

"No matter what happens," Yuuya says, "I'll stop it. I'll do whatever it takes."

"You know," Yuuto says, tilting his head back so that he can gaze at Yuuya more closely, "back then, when you were a little kid, you said that too. Do you remember what happened next?"

Yuuya tilts his head down, staring down his nose at Yuuya. "What happened?"

With the sunshine dripping down on his face, Yuuto answers, "You said Reira." He reaches over and grabs Yuuya’s hand. "This here, Yuuya – this is a chance for you, a return even. And for us, it's our determination. Once more, we've going to protect the dimensions. Once more, we're going to make sure none of us – not even you – go missing."

Yuuya squeezes Yuuto’s hand tightly. He can feel Yuuto's energy coursing through his own veins, and his feet itch to get up and serve justice. As if he were a hero, Yuuya thinks about standing up right now, no crutches or anything, and fighting evil for the sake of the dimensions.

"Let's end this, Yuuya."

"Let's end this, Yuuto."


	63. Chapter 63

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> totally a day late but i figured oh well, and instead of waiting for Tuesday to roll around, i'll just post it anyways ^^

_ The future I've been looking forward to has finally arrived. All this Joy, all this Fate, all this Hope – it rests with you, Yuuya. _

_ Back when I had a little hamster named Fate, I learnt about loss. Hamsters don't live an awfully long time. Fate was with me for one or two years after I first got him, though it felt like longer. So when he died, I felt a hole in my heart ... but I didn't cry. _

_ On that day, I learnt it was impossible to defy "death." Death is more than dying, more than funerals and weepy tears and sad memories. Death is about missing something that held a physical presence in your life. And so, when I lost Fate, I felt like I had lost a part of what made me "me." But that's only because Fate held such a presence in my life. When my brother died, I didn't feel that loss. _

_ I didn't feel anything at all. _

_ Have you ever heard the saying "as good as dead?" To me, it means that feeling of loss even when someone hasn't died. You see, you can feel those same feelings of loss – that disconnect, that feeling of something important missing – even when the thing is still in your life. That physical and emotional presence can disappear even when what is important to you resides. _

_ To me, "as good as dead" means you aren't being fulfilled physically or mentally. _

_ So then, right now, as I write, as I think, as I live, I am as good as dead. I'm living a quiet, peaceful life without any risk, without any fulfilment. Ever since I was little, I have never felt any attachment to my life. I don't live for others, but I don't live for myself either. All this time, I have existed. But those years that I lived with you were the brightest, clearest days of my life. _

_ When I was little, Fate gave me a reason to live. Fate was my fulfilment. And so when he died, I sought out something else, something to fill the hole in my heart. _

_ Someone's death on my behalf. _

_ And the sight of someone else who resists death or their tragic fate. After all these years, I've killed and killed, and only one person has ever escaped those circumstances. I have put away dozens of harmless men, killed dozens of innocent girls and women – and despite all that, I have only ever met one miraculous survivor. _

_ Sakaki Yuuya. _

_ You appeared from the snow as a white knight, and you resisted the death of other people. As if you could play the game one step ahead of me, you countered every single move of mine. It was the most chilling, thrilling game I have ever played. Not only had my heart been healed – no, my very being too. I was fascinated by you from the very beginning. You'd been in my class for several years, and then one day, out of the blue, you transformed. _

_ You became Fate. _

_ On that day, I was reborn too. I began to live my life, not out of existence, but fulfilment. I lived so that I could have another day with you. So it was terribly sad for me when you fell into a coma. I didn't win the game; I didn't win anything. _

_ For fifteen years, I have watched the news for any sign of your revival. I have clung to any strands of hope that you might still be alive. I have lived out of necessity to see you one more time, and so when I heard that a miraculous man woke up from a coma he'd fallen into as a child, I knew you'd woken up for me. You still wanted to play the game too. _

_ We were reborn in this new game. _

_ I want to feel it once more – your joy, your passion, you sense of justice. I want to see you fight me once more. I want to see you try and get ahead of me this time, try to outwit me once more. I want to see you fight death. And then, when you lose, I want to see the light disappear from your eyes as you go missing in these cruel, worthless dimensions. _

* * *

"It's to _ day!"  _ Kotori singsongs, swinging her arms from side to side. She has on a cute summer dress hanging down to her knees and patterned with large, green Hawaiian flowers. On her head sits a large, straw summer hat that keeps falling down over her eyes. That might be though because she leaps from foot to foot, never staying in one spot for more than a second.

At her side, Yuuya chuckles. "Today's the day." He's dressed for summer too, shorts and a t-shirt and flip-flops. The last time Yuuya wore clothes instead of a hospital gown was back when he went to the train station to see Yuzu, and even then he'd worn jeans and a shirt. He feels a bit more dressed up today, and the hat on his head makes him feel like a cowboy.

All around them, the hospital bustles with traffic. They're tucked back at one of the side entrances, and yet there are trucks and vans and people all around, packing away boxes that'll be brought to Camp Performapal. When Yuuya first saw the poster, he thought this was a small daycamp for sick kids, nothing special. Now, as Yuuya gazes around at the hundreds of volunteers in matching "Camp Performapal" shirts, he realises this is a far grander attraction.

"This is one of the biggest summer camps in Maiami City – didn't you know?"

Yuuya didn't.

Kotori swings from side of side, holding her hands behind her back. "Are you excited?"

Yuuya nods. Truth be told, he woke up this morning feeling like he could use a good vacation. A nervous tick in his mind has him worried that perhaps there are too many people here, and that this might be the perfect setup for the killer. But then another part of his mind reassures him that, no matter what, things will work out in the end.

Yuuya hikes his crutches further under his arms and begins to walk down the ramp and towards a large, white bus painted with children's handprints. On the side of the bus is large, bubbly kanji that says Camp Performapal, and various cartoonish monsters dance around the letters. It looks like advertising for a circus.

"Come on," Yuuya calls to Kotori. "We're going on the bus."

Kotori lags behind, checking over her shoulder. "What about Miss Yoko though?"

"She's coming in the van," Yuuya says. "She's going to come with the camping supplies."

"Your mother can drive?"

A laugh bursts from Yuuya's mouth. "Gosh no," he says. "But if she ever gets her hands on a motorbike license, I pray that the roads stay clear for her."

They climb onto the bus, Yuuya maneuvering his crutches over the steps and through the aisle. There are large, plush seats on the bus, with enough space between the rows so that Yuuya can stretch his legs. However, he appears to be the only one who would  _ need  _ to do that – everyone else on the bus looks to be ten years old or younger. There's not even anyone  _ close  _ to Yuuya's age, and he feels his cheeks burn as he and Kotori head to their seats.

"I think you're the biggest kid coming on this trip," Kotori exclaims as if she's just realised this fact for herself.

Yuuya hangs his head. "I think so too ..."

Not missing a beat, Kotori then adds, "Aren't you the luckiest big kid then – I hope I get to go to a fun camp like this when I'm your age."

They take their seats, Kotori at the window and Yuuya at the aisle. Kotori crawls around on her seat and presses her nose to the window. Then, with a shriek of delight that nearly bursts Yuuya's eardrum, she says, "Look! Yuuya, it's Yoko!"

Out the window is Yoko, carrying boxes upon boxes of camp supplies. She's even dressed for the summer in shorts and a tank top, and Yuuya smiles when he sees the growing tan on her arms and legs. She must be getting out of the hospital more, taking more time for herself. As she carries the boxes, she laughs and smiles at the other volunteers. Yuuya's smile widens – she's enjoying herself.

Then, as if he were watching a film in slow motion, he sees her trip. Right before she tumbles to the ground, another volunteer grabs her by the arm and rights both her and the boxes in her arms. They laugh together, and Yoko pats him on the shoulder.

"That was close!" Kotori says.

Yuuya chuckles. His mother, ever the go-getter.

The man that helped Yolo ends up on Yuuya's bus. Yuuya watches him help his mother carry all the boxes, and then when his mother goes to the van, the man gets on the bus. Kotori watches him like a hawk watches its prey, and it's only when Yuuya sees something spilling out of the man's pockets does he realise what has caught Kotori's attention.

Lollipops.

There must be at least twenty of them shoved into the pockets of the man's cargo pants. He looks like a cartoon character with his pockets ballooned out, and when the children all begin to whisper-yell, "He's got candy!", the man presses a finger to his lips and sneakily begins to distribute them out.

"That man's got candy," Kotori says, smothering her giggles into her hands. "Wonder why he's got so much."

"An old habit," the man answers.

Kotori's eyes widen – he heard her!

Yuuya stifles a laugh too, and when the man hands him a lollipop, he takes it with a short bow of his head. The man wears a thick, long-brimmed hat, so Yuuya can't see his eyes or smile, but something about his voice clicks in Yuuya's mind.

He doesn't get a chance to answer before the man continues on, meandering down the aisle and then back. Yuuya watches him crunch the candies one after another. It doesn't help that Kotori narrates the entire event to him, grinning ear to ear.

"That old man's gonna eat all the candies before he's even on the road."

Yuuya chuckles. Somewhere, deep in the recesses of his mind, he remembers a guy who used to crunch candies too. He called it a habit too ...

But the more Yuuya thinks about it, the more his head aches, so he turns back in his seat and gazes out the window, watching the hills roll on by. By the looks of the white clouds and the blue skies, it's set up to be a warm, sunny weekend, perfect for camping. At his side, Kotori bounces in his seat; no doubt his mother is eagerly awaiting the trip too.

_ It's going to work out,  _ Yuuya thinks.  _ The killer will come for me here ... I know he will. And when he does, I'll be ready. _

_ This is the final game we'll play. _

Looking out the window gets old fast though. In fact, it gets old within the first hour, as Kotori tells him when she passes out against his shoulder. Yuuya falls asleep for part of it too, but even when he sleeps he feels a prickle along the back of his neck. So instead of sleeping the drive away he gazes out the window, watching the sky transform from the cityscape into the beautiful forests. Tall trees create grand canopies that block out entire patches of sunlight; and then there are wide, open clearings where the sun beams down on the bus and warms them up. When Yuuya opens the window, he feels the wind on his cheeks and tastes the fresh, clean air. The sounds of birds and bees are a soothing melody to his ears.

Once they're outside of the city and into the camp area, Yuuya's heart begins to beat its soft, rhythmic pace. He still feels bubbles of anxiety the further away he gets from the hospital, but when he thinks back to who he is and why he's here, he knows that if he's to stop the killer, he must be willing to stand and fight once more.

Fortunately, his internal monologue is interrupted the moment the bus bumps over a speed hump leading into the camp area, and Kotori throws herself upright and slams her hands against the window. "Yuuya! Yuuya, look! There it is!"

Like opening up a picture book, the camp appears before them. There's a large, glistening lake around which a small, dirt road winds itself by trees and rocks. Scattered along the shores of the lake are various cabins and camping spots. Above the lake stretches the suspension bridge, and even from this distance Yuuya can see that the wooden beams are held up by nothing more than rope – strong rope, but still just rope.

"You see! You see! There are the boats!"

Parked across the lake are several custom-made canoes shaped like the characters painted along the side of the bus. There's a hippo-, snake-, and cat-shaped one, and several other creatures that Yuuya has never seen before. Now that Yuuya's at the camp, he can see more closely the strong circus theme. The tents are pinstriped, and all around the little camping zones are activities based on circus acts, such as tightrope walking or fire-breathing … or what looks like a safe alternative to fire-breathing.

The bus pulls to a stop right by a large, striped tent – the big tent, the bus driver announces. All the kids hurry from their seats, pushing and shoving so that they can be the first out the door. Kotori falls right into the pack, though she loudly insists to others, "We shouldn't push! We have to be safe!"

Yuuya chuckles under his breath and waits until the crowd disperses so that he can grab his crutches and head on out. The first thing he sees is white light – the sun beams him like a giant laser, and he quickly crushes his sunhat further down over his eyes. No matter where he looks, the sun seems to follow him. It's warmer out here than it was in the city too, and he fans himself with one hand, leaning against his crutches.

Once they're off the bus though, Yuuya quickly loses sight of Kotori. He sees her disappear into a crowd of children all gathered around several camp volunteers. When Yuuya heads towards them, instead of finding Kotori, he receives a camp form detailing his stay at Camp Performapal. There are dozens of activities he's been signed up for, modified for his current health needs.

_ This looks like a lot,  _ Yuuya says, and while his heart races, a smile appears on his face. Maybe he will be able to have some fun without a looming cloud of anxiety over his head.

Kotori reappears at his elbow, startling him. She holds up her cell phone, the screen popping with bubbles and sparkles from the instant messaging system. On the screen is text too, and it reads:  _ come help w/ boxes. _

"Mom," Yuuya says.

Kotori pulls him forward. "Come on, Yuuya, we've got to go and help her!"

Yuuya stumbles along after her. With his crutches, it's impossible to weave between the clumps of people unpacking boxes off of the vans and trucks, but thankfully as soon as someone sees him on crutches they give him a wide – almost too wide – berth. Kotori chuckles as she pulls him through; Yuuya feels like he's parting the Red Sea.

As they pass through a crowd, Yuuya sees a man wearing a large, wide-brimmed hat stumbling along. He's only carrying a single box, but it appears to be sapping his strength just to carry it. Peeking out of the top of the box, Yuuya sees what appears to be a briquet, perhaps for a cooking campfire. Just as the man stumbles to the side, Yuuya turns to help him –

"Hey!" Yoko waves her hand. "Come on and help – we've got boxes to unpack!"

When Yuuya looks back to where the man once was, he's gone.

Yuuya shrugs it off and helps sort the boxes. While he can't carry any of them, he sits in the van and sorts what will go into the cabins and what will stay outdoors. Despite her small size, Kotori lugs around box after box with a beaming smile on her face.

"This is a piece of cake," she tells him. "I bet I'm even stronger than you, Yuuya."

Yuuya blushes. While he's regained some of his strength through rehabilitation, he can only carry ten pounds in his arms.

As he sits in the van, rifling through boxes, Yuuya thinks back to all the boxes back at his house. He hasn't returned home yet, but Yoko has taken photos for him of the state of her apartment – unpacked cardboard boxes everywhere, stuffed full of all his childhood memories. She kept everything, even the stuff that Yuuya thinks should have been thrown away.

_ Snap! _

Yuuya glances up, stunned. Yoko holds a small, disposable camera in her hands. "Gotta save the moment," she says. "Now come on, smile for me this time. This is your first camping trip."

_ New memories,  _ Yuuya thinks as he smiles widely for the camera.

All throughout the day, Yoko captures every single moment of his new adventures. They unpack all the vans in one section of the camp, and by that point it's the afternoon and they stop for a lunch. Yuuya, Yoko, and Kotori sit on the back end of a truck munching on tuna fish sandwiches in the heat of the day. Yuuya uses the brochures and planners given to him as a fan to cool himself down; Kotori flips through her own planner, excitedly commenting on each part of the day.

"See here, Yuuya – a treasure hunt! You go all around the campground and answer questions, and then you get a stamp. We should do this."

On the map, Yuuya sees that the campground is one big loop around the lake. There are cabins all about, and on another page is a stamp sheet for the treasure hunt.

"That looks like a lot of walking," Yuuya says with a groan. "But ..." He chuckles. "Let's at least go to the first one and see how difficult the questions are."

Yoko slaps him on the back. "Have some fun, Yuuya – I'll be setting up with the grown ups."

"I'm a grown up too, y'know ..." Yuuya mutters.

Yoko just laughs from her belly. "Be a kid today – enjoy the sunshine and have some fun." Tugging him forward, she presses a kiss to his sweaty forehead. "See you later, all right."

"All right."

Kotori takes hold of his shirt sleeve and tugs him forward. She lets go once Yuuya starts moving his crutches, and together they head down a small, gravel path that eventually turns into a dirt path weaving through the forest. Thick trees shoot up the sky, scraping the clouds with their wide branches. A symphony of birds sing from the branches, but wherever Yuuya looks he doesn't spot any other animals.

Once they can no longer see the campsite, Yuuya feels like he's stepped into an alternate reality. There are no people in sight, and the only sounds of life he can hear are those of nature tromping through the woods. The colours seem more vibrant this far in the woods. The path he and Kotori take veers them from side to side and up and down, and more than once Yuuya has to stop and catch his breath. This is more physically taxing than when he went to town looking for Yuzu.

Eventually though, the path turns back towards the water. All too soon, sunlight blinds his eyes and warms up his skin. Yuuya raises a hand over his eyes, and ahead of him he spots another, smaller campsite, more of a small lot with a shrine.

"There, there!" Kotori says, pointing down at the shrine. "That's got to be the first clue, just like it says on the map!"

Together, they hurry down the hill and to the campsite. Yuuya's lungs ache with all the fresh air he's been breathing, and when he gets to the shrine he takes a moment to wipe the sweat from his brows. Deep within his chest, he feels his heart thrumming like a large drum.

"You tired already?" Kotori says. She bumps into him with a giggle, and then pulls out her little guidebook. One of the pages has several empty spaces meant for stamps; Kotori puts a big shrine stamp in one of the spaces. "Got it!" she cheers, and then adds, "You too, Yuuya – put a stamp because we  _ both  _ did it!"

Yuuya marks his page with a stamp too. Then, with a frown, he stares ahead. The shrine isn't all that spectacular, but settled at the front is a little card with a clue on it.

"The huge back after passing through the shaking earth," Yuuya reads.

Kotori chews on her lip. She crouches down and reads the note again and again, but her brows only furrow deeper into the space above her eyes. "I dunno ..." she mumbles.

Yuuya glances back down at his map. The map itself is rather detailed, and on it Yuuya sees all the smaller campsites as well as major attractions and events. One of them is a log bridge, and another is a turtle rock ... Yuuya jabs his finger on the rock. "Here – look, Kotori. The huge back – that's a shell! And the shaking earth must be the suspension bridge we have to cross."

Kotori leaps forward. "Yes – yes, Yuuya, that's right! Let's do it!"

Without another word, she hurries off down the path. Yuuya follows after her, back down another dusty path and through the great, groaning trees. When the path clears again, Yuuya sees the pegs of a long, wooden suspension bridge. Yuuya isn't worried for a second; he has memories of playing with his friends around bridges, and of sitting underneath the bridge talking about anything and everything.

Kotori, meanwhile, lingers back.

"You ... you don't think we'll fall?"

"Do you really think they'd make it so unsafe?" Yuuya says. "Come here, hold onto the back of my shirt and follow me. We'll go together."

This time, Yuuya leads Kotori around the track. Despite its rather rickety appearance, the bridge is sturdily built with large, wooden planks tied together by thick rope. There are ropes twisted together on either side of the bridge to act as handrails, and so even when Yuuya feels the bridge shift from their steps, he doesn't worry about tipping over. Besides, the view is the best part of the trip. As they cross the suspension bridge, Yuuya sees the golden sun reflected on clear blue water. The sky is even bluer, popping with large, fluffy clouds.

When they make it across the bridge, it's only a hop and a skip down to the turtle rock – a great, crumbling rock upon which rests the second stamping station and the next clue. Yuuya can't climb atop the rock, but he watches Kotori scale it with ease. She stamps both of their cards, and then scrambles down so they can head to the next station.

Yuuya doesn't even remember the next legs of the trip, only the feeling on the sun on his neck and the breeze against his cheeks. Sometimes he follows after Kotori, and other times she follows after him. The more he walks, the more Yuuya remembers going on trips like these with his friends. He used to follow them too, or they would follow him, and they'd head to the secret base and play board games and eat candy. This isn't quite the same, but perhaps this might have been what camping with his friends would have been like.

When they get back to the main campground, Yuuya spots Yoko at once – in the kitchen, sleeves rolled up, and cooking enormous hunks of meat on a turning spit. The sun and heat have warmed her cheeks, and curls of blond hair twist around her rosy face and bright, green eyes. She waves them over to the tables, and Yuuya and Kotori takes their seats before heaping plates of food: vegetables and meat, all grilled and doused with sauce; and bowls of salad and other mixed greens.

"Have you been cooking all this time?" Yuuya asks as he serves himself.

"Hard at work," Yoko says, flexing her arms. "Did you find all the stamps?"

Proudly, Kotori displays her map. "Got them all!"

Yoko claps for them, her smile beaming. "I'm glad to hear that. Now eat up so you have more energy – there's still evening activities."

Yuuya's mouth nearly drops into his plate. There – there's more to do?! But he's already sweating up a storm and looking forward to a slow night before the campfire. However, on the schedule there are still hikes and activities, plus no doubt some cleaning and sorting that he might be able to do as one of the adults of the trip.

"What? Tired already?" Yoko bonks him on the head with her fist. "Hey, the fresh air is good for you. I haven't even been on my phone once today, and I'm loving being out in nature."

Yuuya and Kotori chuckle. They've been using Kotori's cell phone to take pictures of the beautiful sights around the lake, and though Yuuya feels embarrassed to admit it, he hopes he can show Yuuto, Yuuri, and Reira when he gets back to Maiami City. Maybe when he is better and no longer needing crutches he can take his friends camping. 


	64. Chapter 64

Kotori admits it outright. "Yuuya, I like being here with you!"

"What?" Yuuya says.

Kotori keeps swinging her legs back and forth. "I probably wouldn't have been able to go to this camp before my surgery, and back then I was so scared that I didn't even want to leave the hospital. I was so scared of everything, and now that I'm better I can go on these wonderful trips with my friends. I guess ... you gave me hope."

"Hope?" Yuuya repeats.

"Don't you remember?" Kotori folds her hands together, swaying softly in the warm, summery breeze. "When we first met, after you woke up from your first coma, you told me, ‘Have hope.’ I didn't really know what those words meant, but now I do, and I tell them to everyone I meet in the hopes that they'll remember too."

Kotori watches Yuuya's throat bob up and down with thick swallows.

"So thanks, Yuuya – for everything." Then, she pushes him on the arm. "We have different activities, so go!"

Yuuya stumbles back, shaking his head with a soft chuckle. Kotori yanks out her guidebook from her pocket and holds it out for Yuuya to see. "I'm going on a nature hike with some other kids, and you ..." She squints her eyes to see the writing in his guidebook. "Looks like you're going to a campfire or something. Maybe you'll even roast marshmallows!"

Yuuya laughs. "Whatever it will be –"

"It'll be fun," Kotori finishes. She hops from foot to foot, eager to run already. "Now hurry on – I'll see you tonight!" And without looking back, Kotori dashes down the dusty path and into the forest. Over her head, she sees the branches weaving together in a intricate webbing of bark and leaves. She hears the birds chirping in her ears, and the lake water lapping against the edges of the cliff.

The forest seems so serene that Kotori nearly jumps out of her skin when she hears the shrill sound of her phone.

"Who ..." She reaches into her pocket and flips open her phone. It's Yoko again, and this time the message reads:  _ Come to Rindou Village – let's have a campfire with Yuuya. _

A campfire? Kotori's heart thrums in her chest. Screw her little forest hike, Kotori will drop anything to hang out with Yuuya and Yoko. Though she feels embarrassed to admit it, her parents are busy with school and work and adult responsibilities, and Kotori can count on her hands the number of times this year that she's eaten dinner with them. In fact, Kotori can remember more times that she's spent with Yuuya and Yoko in the hospital. Her own parents had to work extra hours to afford her hospital bills, but while she was in care, Yoko watched over her like a mother.

Excitedly, Kotori types back,  _ on my way! _

Then she hurries down the path, following the map on the guidebook. At the top of the hill, she stares down at the little Rindou Village, made up of a campfire area and a small storage-shed building. Kotori doesn't see anyone around, but then she spots the door to the shed ajar. Yoko must be getting out some campfire supplies.

Kotori pulls open the door with a loud  _ screech! _

"Ms. Yoko, I'm here!" she calls out.

No one responds.

Kotori frowns. She calls out to Yoko again, and steps into the building. None of the lights are on, and the sunlight barely lights up the first few feet of the shed. Kotori pulls out her cell phone once more and reads through the message. She hasn't gotten mixed up at the wrong place, nor has she missed a particular detail. This is where Yoko said she would meet her at ...

"Ms. Yoko?" Kotori says again, glancing around the room. "Are you here?"

* * *

_"Yuuto. I remember it. All of it."_

_ There's heavy breathing on the other end of the phone – Yuuto, nearly gasping into the receiver like he's just pulled his head out of a bucket of water. Normally, Yuuya would laugh at the ridiculousness of it, but his face remains firmly neutral. He leans against the wall outside of the train station, gazing out at the hundreds of people milling to and fro on the wide sidewalks. _

_ "I don't think we can talk on this cell phone though, especially since you've told me that your office may be bugged. I'll meet you where we would normally talk, all right?" _

_ "All ... right," Yuuto answers. "See you soon." _

_ Yuuya pockets the cell phone and hurries back to the hospital. He's been out for a while, and though he's slow on the crutches, Yoko will be suspicious if he dawdles for too long. Besides, Yuuya only came here to find Yuzu, and now that he's seen her, it's like the key to his mind has clicked open. Yuuya feels a headache blossoming in his temples, but the pain he feels is the sort of pain that he wishes he felt sooner. Yuuya can settle for this pain if he can remember everything, all the memories from all the lives he's lived. _

_ Yuuya feels like he's walking on water when he heads back to the hospital. He doesn't head up the stairs immediately, but instead he hurries through the lobby and turns into the stairwell. He's not sure whether Yuuto will be on this floor or up above, and so when Yuuya opens the door, he gazes upwards to see if Yuuto is peeking at him from down below. _

_ He nearly tumbles into Yuuto. _

_ "Hey," Yuuto says, steadying him. "Did you actually try to run here?" _

_ "No, it's just –" Yuuya takes a deep breath, his mind dizzy and excited. He feels everything, and he can't even get the words out for a moment, just hugs Yuuto as tightly as he can. _

_ "I remember," Yuuya says at last. "I remember it all, everything – everything that I was supposed to remember, it's here." _

_ "Can you ... can you say ..." _

_ "Mr. Heartland." Yuuya blurts the words out, and he says it again, and again, until it rings through the hospital. For a second, Yuuya doesn't care, and then says, "I remember him, his face, his name – that day, Mr. Heartland kidnapped me from the ice rink and drove the car into the river. But ... but he's still alive, and he's a different person. Name ... Mushi. Mr. Mushi – that's his new name." _

_ Yuuto's eyes widen to the size of dinner plates, and he stumbles back onto the stairs. Yuuya takes a seat next to him, setting his crutches down on the floor by their feet. _

_ "Did you know that?" Yuuya asks. "You told me you had a theory." _

_ "You ... really did figure it out," Yuuto says at last. He clears his throat, and then adds, "Yes, that was my theory. But how did you know ... his new name?" _

_ A smile flickers over Yuuya's lips. When he saw Yuzu, he didn't just remember her face and the time she punched those pervy men. He remembered her punching the Maiami Pizza manager Dr. Faker, and the time that he and Yuzu saved those kids. And when Yuzu was suspicious of someone, she told him there was a businessman or a politician named Mr. Mushi. _

_ "A small tip," Yuuya says at last. _

_ Yuuto doesn't press for further information. "You figured it out without any current evidence." _

_ "How did you know?" Yuuya asks, leaning forward. _

_ "It couldn't have been anyone else," Yuuto says simply. "In the crime photos of your injury, I noticed the old make of the car. I'd seen that model of car before. It was the same old car that Mr. Heartland drove to school, and the same type of car that Mr. Mushi drove around town. But that wasn't enough evidence to build a case for, and so that's why I couldn't even begin to prosecute Mr. Heartland. _

_ "But then, the more information I seemed to uncover, the more clues that appeared. It was like Heartland wanted me to find him. For example, when you told me that the office may have been bugged, I went searching and found the tapping device. There was also a knocked-off picture of a little girl who'd been recently murdered; maybe that was an accident, but I don't think Heartland would ever be that careless. No, it felt like I was a part of his sick game. It was like he was looking forward to me uncovering the mystery. It felt just like back then when we played the detective game. _

_ "Then I started looking into Mr. Mushi. Turns out, he's a politician who has been closely affiliated with the Maiami City Hospital." _

_ "My hospital room was bugged," Yuuya says. "That's why we could never talk in my room." Yuuya chuckles. "He was always watching me, eager to hear me unravel the mystery and figure out clues. I bet he was frothing at the edges of his mouth whenever he heard a juicy clue." _

_ Yuuto pulls a face. "You know that he is on the fundraising committee for the Camp Performapal trip, right?" _

_ Yuuya nods his head. "He planted a poster right by the board that Kotori and I pass on our way out to the courtyard. That's not a coincidence – he wanted us to see that poster, wanted both of us to come. After all, why only become interested in us now? I think I know why ..." Yuuya presses his hands together, expression lethal. "It's because he's chosen a new target: Mizuki Kotori." _

_ "That's right," Yuuto says. "And just like the previous games we've played, Heartland chooses both a victim and a suspect. That's where you come into play, Yuuya: you'll be suspected of Mizuki's arrest. That's why he was waiting for you to wake up." A swallow. "I'm ... sorry." _

_ "Why?" Yuuya says the words clearly, echoing them up the tall stairwell. "This isn't your fault." _

_ "You're part of the game, so soon after you've recovered ... and the last time we played ..." _

_ "I'm ahead of the game though," Yuuya says. "It's a trap, but I know more about Heartland than he knows about me. He wants us to find him, now more than ever. But we're not just going to play – no, we'll win." Yuuya stretches out his hand, fingers splayed apart. "Yuuto, let's turn this trap into a chance. Let's catch the killer." _

_ Yuuto stares down at the hand with eyes full of wonder. "But ... what if ..." _

_ "Everyone has a chance to return," Yuuya says. "Now's my chance to try again, to fix what happened last time. Besides ..." Abashedly, Yuuya scratches the back of his head. "I can't die. I won't let myself. No matter what happens, I have too many people in my life right now that I'd miss dearly. And so that, why, I promise, I'll live through this." _

_ Yuuto sniffles softly. "F-fine ... fine. Have hope, right?" _

_ Yuuto takes hold of Yuuya's hand. _

_ When they at last let go, Yuuya feels a warm blush on his cheeks. He chuckles and stretches back on the stairs, and then peeks over at Yuuto. Yuuya hasn't seen such a blush on Yuuto in a while, and he swallows back a chuckle. Yuuto was always such an old soul, but now he looks like a frazzled middle schooler. _

_ "Yuuto," Yuuya says. "I have an idea." _

_ Yuuto's eyes harden. "Let's hear it." _

_ "First, while our goal is to stop Heartland, our priority must always be Kotori's safety. She can't be hurt in this game. Agreed?" _

_ "Agreed." _

_ "Good. Now, when I'm at Camp Performapal, I'll tell you her location. Before this trip, I want you to go to Camp Performapal and figure out what areas of the camp might be the best spots to stage a murder. I want you to think like Heartland – where could he kidnap and kill his victims?" _

_ "How will he lure her in?" Yuuto asks. "Kotori, I mean – how can he get a young girl to follow him?" _

_ Yuuya thinks back to when he was with Yuzu. Back then, Yuzu received a text message on her phone from Yoko saying to 'stay right where she was.' Without a doubt, this will be the same trick Heartland uses with Kotori. _

_ "Cell phone," Yuuya answers. "So on the bus, I'll switch cell phones with Kotori and tell her to use an alternate, prepaid phone. She'll agree, I'm certain of it. This way, when Heartland sends her a message, we'll receive it first and be able to keep her safe. If Heartland sends Kotori a message, save her first. If he asks for her to stay still, ask her to come with you; if he asks her to head to a specific location, meet her there first and take her away from the danger." _

_ Yuuto stares at him like he's grown a second head. "How did you even think of this?" _

_ "Another tip," Yuuya says with a wry smile. "I guess sleeping for fifteen years has helped me plan." _

_ Yuuto nods his head. "You've outsmarted death more than once, huh?" He pats Yuuya on the shoulder. "We'll try this plan then. I believe in you, Yuuya." _

_ Yuuya feels his heart skip a beat. _

Yuuto, I don't know if you'll believe me if I told you I've seen Heartland's tricks in three different timelines. I know what he's capable of; I know his routine. And so with this knowledge we can outwit him. We can stay one step ahead of him. When he goes after Kotori at Camp Performapal, we'll have already saved her.

Everyone gets a return, right? Well, my return has arrived and I have all my memories.

This is our desire, our dream, our hope. The hole in my heart and mind is full of my lives I've lived with my friends – and I won't lose any of that, not to him.

I will hunt you down, Heartland.

* * *

_ She's not ... at the storage shed. She's gone. _

Heartland swallows thickly.

_ Who else is here? _


	65. Chapter 65

Yuuya leans against the side of the building, his back pushed into the scratchy wood paneling. When he raises his head, the sky opens up like a great mouth full of stars. In the corners of his vision Yuuya can see the forest, appearing more like a clump of dark clouds; but when he looks straight up he only sees the sparkling tealights.

"Hey." Yuuya speaks into the phone, his first words a breath of air more than any syllables. "Yuuto, how's Kotori?"

On the other end of the line comes a sigh of relief. "She's safe. She left Cheermole Village about two minutes ago, and she should be travelling safely." A pause. "Yuuya, are you at Flip Hippo? She might be heading over that way."

Yuuya feels his heartstrings begin to unwind. This plan, while well-thought out, still has its loopholes. Even with their careful execution, there's a still a chance for an oddity; there's still a chance that something else could happen. For the past hour, Yuuya's heart has been in his throat. He was too sick to even eat dinner, and though his stomach rumbles loudly, he can't imagine eating a single bite.

"Thanks," Yuuya says into the phone. "Where are you?"

"At the place Heartland told Kotori to go to –”

"What?" Yuuya squeaks.

"Relax," Yuuto says. "Relax. Heartland's long gone by now. Once he knew that we'd redirected Kotori, he must have left too."

Yuuya brings a hand to his chest, fisting his fingers in the fabric. "Yuuto, still ... it's dangerous. You can't be discovered by Heartland."

"I know." Yuuto snorts. "We don't have enough evidence to prosecute him for any murders, so we need to keep an eye on him. I'm not letting this case get away from me, Yuuya – I'm with you."

"Thanks." It feels like all Yuuya can say. Every time he speaks, and every second that goes by, feels like another year of Yuuya's life flashing before his eyes. This whole night has felt longer than all the years he's lived, and even the years he's been asleep for.

"You know," Yuuto says, "if we keep this up, I bet we'll really spook Heartland. He must know you're onto him. But then ... maybe he's expecting it. Maybe he's hoping you'll recover your memories."

Yuuya hums to himself. It makes sense: after all, to Heartland these kidnappings and killings have been a game, a purpose, something to fill up the emptiness in his head and heart. It gives him pleasure, sure, but he's killing for more than just a happy feeling.

"Stay on your guard," Yuuya says. "Even if we outwit him once, it'll take more than a couple spooks to scare him. We have to force him into a corner – but if we rush it, we'll miss our opportunity, our chance. And ... and I don't want to see anyone hurt from this, not after ..." Yuuya swallows thickly. _Not after I've recovered all my memories. This terrible chain of events has gone on for too long – and I don't want anyone to die or fall into a coma, not even myself. I ... want this life. I want to live here, with my friends and family, and lead a good life. I don't want to lose this ... or them._

"I hear you," Yuuto says. "I'll keep Kotori safe. I promise. Keep believing in me, Yuuya."

"I always have." Yuuya clears his throat, cheeks warm. "Together, we'll both protect Kotori's smile."

Even though Yuuya can't see him, he knows that Yuuto is smiling up at the same starry sky..

"Have you checked her guidebook to see what activity she's scheduled for? Maybe we can track her movements that way."

From his pocket Yuuya tugs out a folded up paper book. All the attendees received one, and inside is a schedule orgainsed by group names.

"She should be going to Cheermole Village next," Yuuya says. "Will you –"

"I'm already moving," Yuuto says. "I've got my colleague helping me in the other building. By this point, he should have collected the tools Heartland brought with him, the very same tools we found that day in the bus: the coal briquet."

Yuuya wipes his palms on his pant legs. He has that memory drilled into his head: the day that Reira told them an adult – the killer, Heartland – broke into the bus and stashed his murder weapons. Yuuya remembers seeing those weapons and feeling sick to his stomach. Even now, he crushes a hand to his gut to keep his nausea at bay. It'll do no good thinking about it, but still ...

In the distance, Yuuya sees the glow of a flashlight. He nearly leaps out of his skin, but when he spots a familiar swirl of honey-blonde hair, he stops himself and quickly mutters into the phone, "Gotta go Yuuto – hang in there!"

Standing in the starlight is Yoko. She has dirt smudged on her cheek and a pale, well-worn apron cinched around her chest and waist. Her long hair is tied up in a messy bun, though most of the strands have come undone and it leans crookedly against her skull.

"There you are," she says, clicking her tongue. "I found you."

Yuuya chuckles. "Yeah ... I needed to get away for a bit."

"Got tired?" She winks. "I saw you and Kotori running all around the camp collecting stamps. That looked like such a fun activity, but no doubt it kept you on your toes. Still though ..." She settles down next to him, cradling her head in her hands. "It was good to see you up and about with a big smile on your face."

Yuuya turns to face her. "H ... huh?"

 _Smack!_ "You heard me," she teases. "I'm just glad, after all these years, that you're still able to walk and laugh."

"You thought I wouldn't?" Yuuya regrets the words the moment they leave his lips, and he pushes a hand over his mouth in case any more traitorous words escape. By that point though, Yoko has heard the words loud and clear, and she raises a bushy, blonde eyebrow.

"What's with that pessimism?"

"I –"

"What I _meant_ is that I wasn't ever sure that you'd wake up, or get better, or even want to get out of bed. For the first little while, I could see the pain in your eyes – you wanted to live your life, yet you were trapped in your body. And though a month may have blurred before your eyes, for me those first couple of months were the hardest times of my life. I wanted you to get better so quickly, and yet your recovery hasn't even been completed yet."

Chuckling, Yuuya leans against Yoko. His mother still smells and feels like the same person, and in all the memories he has of her, she's never felt any different.

"That sounds like pessimism too."

"But ... but I said to myself, again and again, every single day, that I would watch over you. That's a mother's job, right – to watch over, take care of, and believe in their child. And so I could never, ever give up on you."

 _You never did,_ Yuuya thinks. Even in his first memories, back when he lived away from his mother and hardly spoke to her, she came and paid for his hospital bills, and later began to cook and clean for him. Even when he created distance between them, she still found a way to root herself to him, to take care of him just like she always promised.

Yoko's face appears smack in front of him.

"What are you thinking about there?"

"N-nothing!" Yuuya holds up his hands and prays she can't read his mind like she usually can. "Nothing at all."

Yoko stares at him, eyes narrowed into slivers – and then shrugs. "Well, I'm heading back to the campground to start a fire. Don't stay out too long in this cold air or else you'll catch a cold."

"I won't."

"Say though ... what time is it? I can't find my phone anywhere."

"19:15," Yuuya says. "Looks like –"

His phone blares loudly with a sharp trill. Yuuya almost drops his phone in surprise, and catches it between his open palm. On the screen is the caller display: Yuuto. He must be calling!

Yuuya presses 'Answer' and presses the phone to his ear.

"Yuuya." Yuuto rushes the word out. "Do you know where Kotori is?"

Yuuya shakes his head. "She hasn't come ..."

Yuuto doesn't miss a beat. "It's time to gather."

Yuuya nods. His heart crawls up his throat, and he stands on jelly legs. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Yoko stand in a sliver of moonlight that casts a long shadow out towards the water. Yuuya glances left and right, but there's no one else out in this area of the campground.

"She ... she didn't show up?"

Yuuto shakes his head. "I confirmed it with Durbe, my investigation partner – no one went to the car park, no one tried to escape the campground. That means ... everyone is still here. There are no weapons in Trump Witch village."

Yuuya feels his gut drop to his toes. No ... where is Kotori?

Through the tiny microphone comes harsh, panting breaths; it sounds like Yuuto is running. "I'm – I'm on my way there now to see if Kotori is just hanging out by herself. You go look for her too, or try calling her cell phone. It's – it's going to be OK –"

Yuuya hangs up on Yuuto. He flips through his contacts, searching for Kotori's number, and calls it. The dial tone blares in his ears, and then clicks straight to the answering machine.

_Were we not ahead of Heartland to begin with? Did he outwit us? Has he known all this time that we've been playing the game too, and that we've followed his clues all this time, knowing that we were putting our lives on the line. It's been over 15 minutes since Kotori left – that's a lot of time for something to happen. Something ... something ... what would he do next? What other tricks does he use? I've seen them all before – I've watched him kill my friends, but now –_

Yuuya twists his head from left to right, but his head aches and his stomach cramps, and for one painful second he feels like he can't even move from his spot.

"Yuuya."

He takes a heaving breath. No – no, this can't be it, this can't be the end –

"Yuuya." Yoko pulls him close, embracing him in a tight, warm hug. "What's going on with Kotori?"

"Sorry, I thought you were ... I thought you went back –"

"I've always been here," she says, and though Yuuya is certain she never meant to sound so sincere and heartwarming, Yuuya leans into her touch as if he's become an infant.

"Mom ..." Yuuya swallows. "About Kotori ... before you came to see me, did you see Kotori wandering around?"

"No, I didn't."

Yuuya nods his head, bangs tickling the side of Yoko's neck. "And how about inconsistencies – did anything feel off to you?"

Even though Yuuya crosses his fingers behind his back, he knows what the answer will be.

"I did."

His mother has always been perceptive.

She pushes away from him, just enough so that she can look into his eyes and smile at him. "Yuuya," she says, taking him by the shoulders. "I saw something very peculiar today. Did you know one of the participants in this camping event is Mr. Heartland, your old elementary teacher?"

_She – she knew –_

Yoko shrugs and continues. "Or maybe it was just someone who looked an awful lot like him. Anyways, what's more important is that I can clearly tell you've misplaced something. Where's your water bottle?" Pushing her hands on her hips, she adds, "You're going to get dehydrated if you don't carry water around with you. Even at this hour, it's good to have clean water with you."

"My ..." Yuuya's eyes follow Yoko's line of vision to his backpack, leaning up against the building. There are two pockets on either side meant to carry water bottles; however, both are empty. Sure enough, his water bottle is missing.

"Where'd you last have it?" Yoko asks.

"I had it when I was collecting stamps," Yuuya says. He remembers Kotori holding onto it so that he could drink easily from it instead of having to reach behind and grab it from his backpack.

_Did I drop it? No, I'm not that clueless. But that – that's a clue. Water bottle, water bottle – where has that been a clue before? Not bottle maybe, but the drink inside of it – a drink –_

Yuuya remembers, deep in the recesses of his mind, a girl sitting at the arena sipping from a small paper cup. Serena. Her name was Serena. And on White Day, Heartland bought her a white hot chocolate and got her to sit on the bleachers watching an ice hockey match. He spiked her drink with a laxative too.

Yuuya stumbles forward, hurriedly pushing his crutches under his arms. "Mom, I've got to go – it's the drink – it's –"

"Go for it," Yoko says. "Whatever it is, Yuuya, go for it."

* * *

Kotori peers at her guidebook, then back at her phone, then back at her guidebook. Then she stares at the sign hanging over the cabin door.

"No, I'm at the right place," she mumbles. Groaning, she buries her face into her book. "Ugh, Ms. Sakaki – you got the cabin name all wrong! So I guess maybe I should just go to my next activity which is ..." She chews on her lip.

Cheermole Village at 19:00. There's another activity starting at 19:00 directly above it, but Kotori pulls a face – after all, Cheermole is the major camping area, so that must mean there will be a larger, more exciting activity. And perhaps both Yoko and Yuuya will be there too.

Kotori shoves her guidebook into her pocket and dashes off down the path. She swings her flashlight from side to side, searching for any signs of people heading to Cheermole, but the path is blessedly absent. It seems a touch strange, but Kotori doesn't question it even when she gets to the cabin. There aren't any lights on either, and it looks like no one has even set up the place.

She opens the door to the cabin and peers inside. Flicking on the lights, she sees that this room has been piled full of cardboard boxes taped shut. Sitting on one of the boxes though is a note reading:

 

> _Attendees!_
> 
> _Please help move one box to the boat renting cabin. This will help the volunteers out immensely._
> 
> _Cheers!_

Kotori frowns. "What?" she drawls. "I didn't think I'd be doing manual labour like this."

But she huffs to herself and picks up one of the boxes. Fortunately, when she steps out of the cabin doors, she can see the boat-renting building glowing in the moonlight. It's no more than ten steps away, and surprisingly the box isn't heavy, filled with spare clothing. On her way over, Kotori passes all the rowboats lined up by the docks. There are six of them, all shaped like a different Performapal from the popular Duel Monsters game.

 _How cute,_ Kotori thinks. _I hope we get to ride on those tomorrow._

She carries the box up a couple steps and into the rental cabin. The room is dark too, but when she flicks on the light switch, the building is bare; no one else has brought over any boxes. However, sitting in the room is another note, the paper held down by a familiar-shaped water bottle.

Kotori chuckles.

"Yuuya, are you here?" she calls out. Her eyes flicker around the room, but she doesn't spot anyone, or hear the gentle puffs of their breath. Yuuya must have left this around for her then.

In the same printing as the previous note, the paper reads:

 

> _T_ _hanks for all the help, Kotori! As a reward, let me give you a riddle, just like the riddles in the stamp game. Here it is: Remember the huge back after passing through the shaking earth – what's the thing floating beneath it?_
> 
> _I'll wait for you there! In the meantime, drink up – you've earned it for carrying that box._

"I'm stronger than that," Kotori mutters, even though she feels sweating beading at the top of her forehead. She brushes it aside with her wrist. Her eyes scan over the paper once more though. The clue from the stamp game was Turtle Rock, but what was floating beneath it?

Water?

Her eyes fall on the bottle. It has to be Yuuya's, and when Kotori picks it up, she finds it full of water. A blush blossoms on the apples of her cheeks. If ... if she drinks from Yuuya's water bottle, will it be like an indirect kiss? There was a cheeky boy at school who told her that if you drink from someone else's bottle it's like kissing their lips. Kotori likes Yuuya, but not like that!

She twists off the lid and takes a sip so that her lips don't touch the mouthpiece. The water feels cool on her throat, and she drinks all of it before she's even realised it. Wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, she closes up the water bottle and takes a step forward –

Oh.

It's the last thought Kotori has before her vision fades to black.

* * *

Yuuya moves as fast as he can towards the clusters of village-like campsites. Kotori was sent to one of those, but if she wandered off, she could have traveled elsewhere. Though she hasn't been missing for long, who knows how far she could have run, or if she would have retraced her steps.

_Come on, think! Think – where would she have wanted to go? She went looking for Mom – where would she assume Mom would be? In the kitchens?_

When Yuuya gets to the campsite, he checks everywhere, poking his head into various buildings. They're all either empty of crammed full of unopened boxes. Yuuya doesn't spot Kotori anywhere, even when he calls out her name. If she were drugged, then would she even be able to respond to him though? What if Heartland gave her a different drug? What if he put her to sleep instead of giving her a laxative? What if he did something worse to her?

 _I have to find the inconsistency,_ Yuuya thinks. _Somewhere there is a clue, something that only I can spot._

His crutches sink into the soft sand. These cabins are nested all along the waterside, and close to the boat rental area. Yuuya remembers seeing this attraction advertised in the announcement – Duel Monsters-shaped boats that could be paddled out to the middle of the lake. Each one is a different Duel Monster, but on the backs of them are numbers: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

Yuuya frowns.

_Where's number one?_

Yuuya throws his gaze out to the water. However, on the water he sees not one but dozens of boats paddling out to the middle of the lake. It's then Yuuya remembers that there will be fireworks launched into the night sky, and so people must be heading out to the lake to get the best view.

 _There are too many boats for me to know which one Kotori is on. But ..._ Yuuya clenches his hands in a fist. _If he's trying to escape with Kotori, he'll need to head under the suspension bridge and away from where everyone will be watching the fireworks. So – so I need to run –_

Back through the night Yuuya dashes, pumping his arms to move his crutches as fast as he can. His heart hammers in his chest and his breath wheezes from his achy lungs. This day has been more physically taxing than all his other days put together. But Yuuya doesn't slow down, heading deep into the dark forest where he can hardly see ahead of him. He holds a flashlight in his hand, and its beam guides him down the dusty path.

When at last the forest parts, Yuuya sees the suspension bridge. It swings in the pale moonlight, the cords glowing as if they are weaved with the very stars themselves. Yuuya stands at the edge of the bridge, toes curled onto the first board.

Ahead of him stands Heartland. He looks older, his green hair fading into grey. He has on a hat with a brim that covers his head, and a vest and cargo pants that make him look like he's modeling for an outdoor adventure store. But when Yuuya sees the eyes, he knows just exactly who he's come across. Eyes. He's seen those eyes again and again, framed by ugly glasses, glowing like a viper's. In his hands, Heartland carries a can of gasoline and a long rope stretching back to the other side of the bridge.

Yuuya smiles widely.

"Hey," he says. "Long time no see, Mr. Heartland."

Heartland smiles at him, pudgy face stretching like a great, grotesque frog.

"Good to see you too, Yuuya."


	66. Chapter 66

"This is the end," Yuuya says, eyes narrowed. The wind whips at his hair, and his legs quiver with tension. It's chilly tonight, though he feels like he's sweating through his clothing. Ahead of him, Heartland stands with a smile slashed across his face, cheeks pudgy and sallow at the same time.

The sight makes Yuuya sick.

"Are you sure?" Heartland says. He holds up the rope, swinging it between his fingers. "But I haven't even finished the preparations for your death. Surely you can wait a few more minutes – after all, I've been waiting _fifteen years_ for this very day."

Yuuya swallows thickly.

"You know ..." Heartland twists the rope between his fingers. "Throughout those years, even though you've been asleep, suspended in animation, I've been thinking about you. I've thought about you every day – seeing you again, speaking to you. And so I knew that if you had restored your own memories, and if you remembered me, you'd come to this very bridge."

"Because of before," Yuuya says with a grim nod. He fists his hands, knuckles white. "You – you coerced Serena, poisoned her, and then ... and then you kidnapped me. You brought me to that bridge, drove me down to the river, and ..."

Beneath his feet, the sea churns a dark, inky black. Yuuya remembers his head going under all those years ago, of the dark waters soaking through his clothing and freezing his skin. He remembers coughing and coughing as the water filled his lungs, and when he tried to turn his head away and escape, the seatbelt held him in place. He remembers his vision blurring and fading, and the feeling of falling asleep on a soft, albeit icy, bed.

"I knew that you'd be here," Yuuya says, "because you needed a place to hide Kotori and still be able to see her. She's ... over there, isn't she?" Yuuya tilts his head towards the lake. "You wanted to be able to see her at all times, and at the same time you wanted to meet me. You have all your pawns where they need to be."

Heartland merely chuckles, swinging the rope round and round his wrists. "You think that's the only plans I made? How did I isolate her then?"

Yuuya's teeth sink into his lip.

"I tampered with her guidebook and schedule." Heartland's tongue flicks over his lips. "I never have a single strategy; never do I rest on one plan. I knew you'd be on high alert and you'd fall for many of my traps, so I made sure to lay down multiple traps to catch Kotori. As a volunteer and coordinator of Camp Performapal, I had access to the guidebooks before they were distributed. I made sure to give her a guidebook with the wrong times on it – one that would buy me time."

A chuckle bubbles up in Yuuya's chest. "But here I am."

Heartland twists his head towards the lake. While Yuuya can't see much either, he knows that someone is on their way over to prevent Kotori's death. They'll rescue her from the boat and ensure her safety; after all, she is the top priority. Yuuya can't help but stare at Heartland too, face melting like rotten wax. His skin is pale as ash, and his eyes bug out of his skull like an insect's.

"You're ahead of the game," Heartland says, still facing the water. "By my calculations, you were supposed to arrive later, and I would have everything prepared. But here we are ..." Heartland holds the rope up in his hands, eyes glowing. "How – how did you know, Yuuya? How is it that you've always remained one step ahead of me?"

Yuuya stumbles.

"You know why I've been watching you, haven't you? After all, you are my rival, my enemy – the greatest threat to any plan I pull off. No one has been able to keep up with me, not even the police or the lawyers. Everyone finds hints, but no one has ever managed to put all the pieces together except you. You, Yuuya, with a sharp mind and careful tongue. You know my true nature and have held onto that secret for all these years."

"That was never my intention," Yuuya says. He steels himself, rooting his legs to the bridge. "But yours ... you never planned on killing Kotori, did you? You only kidnapped her to lure me, just like you lured Serena to the ice hockey rink so that I would follow after her."

Heartland laughs outright. "You may be the most interesting man I have ever met, but you're not the only one. No, I fully intended to kill Kotori by the end of the night.. She saw my face, and if she spoke a single word to you, you'd be able to pin the crime on me. In fact, if she told any of your friends what had happened to her, they'd have the evidence to put me away.

"But" – Heartland holds out one round digit – "I also knew that you would try and stop me. After all, it's impossible for you to let Kotori die."

"Of – of course –"

"But why?" Heartland shrugs one shoulder. '"Why does she matter so much? Why would you want to save her life when you have barely known her? But who cares – oh well. What matters is that you are my target, and to meet you – the real you – I needed a second victim."

Yuuya's mouth feels drier than a desert. "A second ..."

"Victim," Heartland finishes. "Over the years, I have become infatuated by a certain side of you: the Sakaki Yuuya who fights against someone else's death. You have brought hope and smiles to all the dimensions – but above all, you have prevented several deaths. As frustrating as that may be for someone like me ... I'm enthralled, Yuuya, by your strength.

"But the Sakaki Yuuya who fights against someone else's death is a hero of the past, or so I thought until I realised that you had simply lost your memories. Therefore, this – this trip, your recovery, everything – has all been so that you would return to your previous self. I don't just want to fight against any ol' Yuuya – I want to fight against the boy, now a man, who I tried to kill fifteen years ago."

"You ..." Yuuya glances to the river, then backwards. There's no escape for him, not unless he jumps into the river. If he moves, no doubt Heartland has another plan to kill him. If Yuuya tries to contact Yoko or Yuuto, he'll only put more people in danger.

"How dare you," Yuuya says through gritted teeth. "All – all this time you've been waiting to kill me, a predator lurking in the dark –"

"I've been busy," Heartland says. "But look around – I have prepared this all for you. Those traps I laid weren't meant to kidnap or kill Kotori, though I'm sure if the need called for it I could have easily poisoned or suffocated her. No, those tools were in place to help coax your memories back. Fortunately, you remembered everything before you even came. But it still made me shiver as you found the tools and remembered what I had put your friends through.

"It is upsetting though how calm you remained throughout this. I thought you might be upset, try to push me off this bridge – but you're standing to face me like a frozen statue. Still though ..." Heartland licks his lips. "Your actions were beyond my imagination.."

_I've heard those words before, in the car before he tried to drown me._

"Beyond my expectations," Heartland adds. "This is the moment I've been waiting for. This is _our return,_ Sakaki Yuuya."

Heartland takes a step forward, then another. He closes the space between them. Yuuya's eyes flicker towards the lake – would he be able to push Heartland over the edge? The ropes are rather high up, and even if Yuuya tried to squeeze Heartland through the rails, it would be impossible to do if Heartland resisted and squirmed.

"I have missed seeing the fire in your eyes," Heartland says, breathing ghosting over Yuuya's cheeks. "When you were in my class, you held such determination in your stare. It came on suddenly, as if one day you made a promise to yourself to become a hero and bring smiles to all the dimensions. But when I see the light in your eyes, I think back to your successes and how you outwitted me time and time again. You always succeed, Yuuya. You always win.

"And yet, so do I. Right now, I'm still walking free. You have no substantial proof to pin this on me. Do you really think you and Yuuto can arrest and prosecute me? Do you really think you have what it takes?"

_I do,_ Yuuya wants to say, but the words tremble on his lips. Does he? Does he have everything that he needs? Yuuya has spent all these years asleep – he's not a lawyer or a police officer!

"I don't know the answer, but your eyes are telling me that you haven't given up yet. There's only a flicker of hesitation in them – not enough to sway you. I guess though, considering the time that has gone by, it makes sense that you would want to see this to the end."

Again, Heartland tosses the rope from one hand to the next. Yuuya tries to imagine what the rope is leading to; there's a gasoline tank by Heartland's feet, so perhaps Heartland is trying to burn and blow up part of the bridge.

_Burn ... I remember a fire before. It was with that girl, with Yuzu – she was trapped in a fire, and Heartland tried to burn her and the evidence so that he wouldn't be caught. I bet that's what he's trying to do now; I bet he'll burn me._

_But ... does Heartland know this?_

Yuuya steps back, not breaking eye contact with Heartland. He clicks his tongue, and while his lips feel cold and funny, he smiles as best as he can.

"You say you see something in my eyes? Is it flickering now? Will it ever disappear? All this time, even while asleep, I've been searching through my memories for clues. I saved all my friends, but it's just as important that I save myself too. And so what you're seeing isn't just my hope – it's my determination to _win._ I'm going to take a step forward with courage and smile for all the dimensions to see."

"How poetic," Heartland drawls. "But didn't this put you in a coma?"

Yuuya takes another step back. "Last time, I made a mistake. I didn't have all the answers – but I've never needed to know everything, not when I've also had something equally important on my side. You see, when I lived through my fifth grade days, I didn't just save my friends – I _made_ friends, lifelong partnerships that never faded even when I fell into a coma.

"I haven't just lived because I've been one step ahead of you – I've been one step ahead alongside my friends. It's the words of my friends that have supported me all this time and have encouraged me to seek justice and to smile freely. All these years, my friends have saved me, pushed me; they are the people who have told me to take a step forward with courage.

"Once upon a time, I thought I might live a lonely, quiet life with no friends and no future. I thought I might live a life where nothing mattered. And so, when I woke up from my coma, there was a fear that everyone had moved on without me. But they hadn't. Even though my memories were gone, my friends and family were still around."

Yuuya takes another step forward, bringing a hand up to rub at the back of his neck. "Mr. Heartland, there are some words I'd like you to hear; some words that I think are poetic for you too. Seventeen years ago, these words were my driving force for stopping your crimes and saving my friends. When I woke up, these words sung in my ears.

_"I want to fill the empty hole in my heart._

"Have you heard those words before? When I was in school, there were some words I couldn't say, some promises I couldn't keep, some friends I troubled. But through all that, at the end of the day my friends, family, and I have all remained strong. I see myself in my friends' words and actions, and they see themselves in me. Even the friend I have missed ... the friend who I made a long, long time ago ..."

_Yuzu. Yuzu, the girl from my original memories, the girl whose smile is worth a thousand words. The girl who, time and time again, I have bene searching for._

Heartland chuckles deep within his belly. He swings from side to side on the bridge, smile unwavering.

"Do you remember, back in the car, when you told me those exact words? You said that to me, even though that was the quote from my graduation speech to your class for _next year._ You surprised me, Yuuya. I didn't know we had the same philosophy."

"That's right," Yuuya says, smile growing. "Because I heard those words from you first, Mr. Heartland – in the address to my class on graduation day."

Heartland's face grows as pale as the moonlight.

"That's right," Yuuya says again. "You said to me in the car, 'It's as if you've seen the future and come back.' I have. I've lived through three different timelines of my fifth grade class. But" – Yuuya holds up a finger, the single digit appearing as a beacon in the black sky – "this is also my second 2005. I've lived in this timeline too."

"N –"

"That fifteen minute advantage you said you had? I've spent eighteen years trying to catch up to you. Do you believe me? Do you think I could be from the future, _sir?"_

The fireworks burst from the sky, dazzling the sea with stars. Lights flicker and pop, creating watery illusions all along the glass-like surface. Yuuya can't tell where the sky ends and where the lake begins; what is a firework and what is a reflection. The light warms his cheeks and face. Shadows sweep and crawl around him and Heartland like long hands.

"I believe you, Yuuya."

Yuuya smiles so brightly that even the fireworks can't compete with him.

"Even Yuuto didn't believe me, or couldn't. After all ..." Yuuya giggles. "You're the only one who's seen this side of me too – the Sakaki Yuuya who has saved his friends by rerunning through time to prevent their deaths."

"Only I could believe you," Heartland says with a nod.

Yuuya takes a step forward, feet creaking. "Sir, did you come here to end this? You've told me before, 'Your courageous act resulted in avoiding a tragedy.' When you said those words, I felt so happy. And it was because of those words that I was able to recover a lot of things, like my friends and Kotori."

Over the edge of the bridge is a lone boat moving towards the suspension bridge – Yoko and Kotori. Yoko has her arms wrapped around Kotori's shoulders. They both look unharmed besides being cold, and Yuuya waves to both of them.

"You were ahead of me," Heartland mumbles, more to himself than anyone else. Yuuya strains his ears to hear him. "Am I evil?" Heartland asks.

Yuuya frowns.

"According to people's' standards, I might be evil. But then again, they are basing 'evil' on a reason – and there is no reason, no tangible concept of evilness." Stretching his fingers, Heartland says, "What I seek in this dimension are my desires. People who hide their desires are weak, pitiful, useless. Those are the sorts of people who are goody two-shoes and stay away from evil. But if you take the risk and follow your desires, I think you see a beautiful, albeit tragic, side of humans. Do you think anyone could have kidnapped and killed those children, Yuuya? Do you think I'm special?

"After all ..." Heartland's smile stretches across his puffy cheeks. "I'm just filling up the hole in my heart."

_Flick!_

Yuuya sees a flame sprout from a small, plastic lighter in Heartland's hand. Before Yuuya even has a chance to react, Heartland drops it to the ground. Flames pop into the air, licking up the ropes of the suspension bridge like hungry jaws of beasts. Yuuya feels the heat sear his cheeks, and he stumbles back, holding up his arms to protect himself as much as he can –

_Snap!_ goes the ropes of the bridge.

He falls, tumbling towards the inky waters. At this hour, Yuuya can't even tell where the water is, so when he hits icy lake he gasps like a fish and yanks his head up. Quickly, he paddles to the surface, breaking the water with gasping pants. He chokes and sputters on the water that's shot up his nose.

In the distance, Yuuya sees Heartland floating through the sea like a lonely piece of driftwood. Yuuya yanks him towards his own body, ensuring that Heartland doesn't drown to the bottom of the lake. That would be too easy of a death. No, Yuuya's game has never involved anyone dying. For Yuuya, winning means serving justice before the courts.

_You'll put this man away, Yuuto,_ Yuuya thinks.

Weakly, Heartland splutters. His face is burnt from the fire, his skin seared away in places and simply red in others. He twists himself from side to side, but the movement looks too slow, and Yuuya tugs him along.

In the distance, breaking through the black water, is another Performapal boat, and sitting inside it is Yuuto and Durbe. Yuuya waves to both of them, and then to his mother and Kotori's boat that has also pulled up beside them. Yuuto stretches out a hand for Yuuya to take, and Yuuya lets himself be pulled from the icy lake water.

Yuuto pulls him straight into a hug.

"I'm gonna get you wet –"

"That's fine," Yuuto says quickly. "After everything, Yuuya, it's fine."

When they break apart, Yuuya looks back at Heartland's body in the water. He doesn't smile. There isn't a single light around Heartland's head, and besides the scarring and redness, he looks like a faceless shadow monster. It reminds Yuuya of the abominations he's read in children's book – nightmarish creatures that have come to steal children away.

_But you didn't,_ Yuuya says, _not this time._

Yuuya feels someone tug him into their chest, and then another person. He lets everyone hold him, not bothering to raise his head or blink. He stares down at the water, and the defeated, unconscious body of his teacher.

"You did it," he hears Yuuto say.

_We did it,_ Yuuya wants to tell him, but he's certain he doesn't need to say that. Yuuto must already know it.

* * *

_All the spider's threads have disappeared._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so guess what's coming to an end ~  
> just a few more chapters left (one of which i haven't written because i took on too many writing projects all at once) and then this fic is fully wrapped up! thanks for sticking with it ^^


	67. Chapter 67

Yuuya stands on the roof. Not only does he no longer need crutches, he can walk up and down the stairs too. The new movement has given him all sorts of new experiences – or experiences he has missed for all the time he has been in the coma and later in the hospital. Now though, he can stand on the roof and look out over Maiami City, at the river and the buildings and the trees. From this height, he can see even more than from his bedroom window. The world looks so much bigger and more beautiful than ever before.

Next to him stands Yuuto. His bangs are slicked back behind his ears, and he wears a collared button-up shirt and slacks. Yuuya feels underdressed in loose pants and a t-shirt that says "Have you Egao'd today?", but then again he's always felt a bit underdressed compared to Yuuto.

Still though.

Yuuto is smiling.

And Yuuya is smiling.

"Hey," Yuuya says, drawing Yuuto from his thoughts. "Tell me about Heartland."

Yuuto raises an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"You never told me about him," Yuuya says. He leans down against the metal bars encircling the roof, meant so that people don't toss themselves over the side. Yuuya braces himself against the fence and dangles his arms. "You avoided it – I know you did. And I get that you didn't want to talk about it back then, so soon after I'd woken up ... but I think I want to know now."

Yuuto's teeth sink into his lip. His eyes are stormy, as if tempests are trapped in his irises, and he doesn't break eye contact.

Yuuya can tell how uncomfortable Yuuto is, but he waits, not saying anything more. In time, Yuuto will speak.

And he does: "Well, when Heartland was arrested that day on August 25, 2005, it was already 34 years since his first documented murder." Yuuto sucks in a breath. "You mean like this, Yuuya?"

"Keep going," Yuuya says with a nod.

Clearing his throat, Yuuto speaks again: "He admitted to everything ... all of it, the kidnappings and the murders. The court's decision was quick. However, he is convicted as Mr. Mushi, not as Mr. Heartland. Don't ask me to explain that mess of legalities. But still – he'll face charges, and many of them.

"I went to see him on his death row actually. He looks ... too good. Like he's happy he was caught at last. He said that in the end he got a return too, and I don't know what that means, but I felt sick when I heard it. And he smiled – he was so cooperative and confessed to everything. It hurt. I thought, _Well maybe I should have just outright asked him if he murdered all those kids, and perhaps he would have said yes._ Probably not. Not all cases were able to go to the prosecution. But Heartland spoke to all of the ones he could, including your ... injury. He told the court about what happened. I felt so angry when he smiled and said ... that he was happy with that result because he got to see you again and again. Yuuya, I'm ..."

Yuuya reaches over and grabs Yuuto's hand. Yuuto hangs over the fence, gazing down at the cars and pedestrians below; they look as small as bugs.

"I'm sorry," Yuuto says. "Heartland was responsible for over 30 cases. That number ..."

Yuuya squeezes Yuuto's hand. "We caught him. We had the evidence, we did our best – and we won."

Yuuto clears his throat roughly. "After you and your mom moved to Maiami City in 1990, Heartland followed you. He killed his rival in love and took on the new name, Mushi. Then he murdered his father-in-law who was a politician and county maker, and that is how he became part of the city council.

"During the time Heartland was in Maiami City, there were eight attempted kidnappings and murders that he was responsible for. But ..." Yuuto looks up, eyes pale. Yuuya sees a twinkle in them though, and Yuuto weakly squeezes back. "None of those victims were young girls. The last time Heartland ever attempted to kidnap a child was back when we were children, when we were protecting the children of Heartland City."

Yuuto rolls his eyes. "I mean, there's Kotori's case –"

"It's fine," Yuuya says, and then blushes. "I mean, it's not fine that people were kidnapped and killed, but ... but I'm glad we made a difference even when we were little. What we were doing, stopping evil and bringing hope ... I'm so happy I could do that with you." Another squeeze. "Though you might think it, I don't regret falling into a coma. I still have many years of my life to live, and I don't think I missed as much of my youth as you would think."

Head bowed, Yuuto swallows. "But Yuuya ... the time that you lost will never come back. What you did was heroic, but I think you're being too proud in saying that you don't regret losing fifteen years of your life. But still ..." Yuuto raises his head, eyes brimming with tears. He comes closer, one tiny step at a time –

And then Yuuya embraces him, burying his face into Yuuto's shoulder. He feels Yuuto's breath shudder, and a weight fall back against Yuuya's chest.

"I'm so happy that I get to be with you again, that I get to see you and hear you and – and I'm sorry that your injury was what helped us catch the killer. I'm sorry things turned out the way they did."

Yuuya shakes his head. He feels Yuuto's hot tears on his shoulder, and so out of respect Yuuya doesn't pull away.

"Yuuto," he whispers, "the person who has to say thank you is me. I didn't lose anything, and I don't regret what I did or what happened. After all, what have I truly lost? The reason why I could step forward, and the reason why I am who I am, is because of my friends. You all ... you stayed with me, even when I was asleep. I didn't just help you guys – you helped me too."

Yuuya squeezes Yuuto's shoulders, drawing them so close that Yuuya can feel the beat of Yuuto's heart.

"Thank you, Yuuto."

Yuuto sniffles softly.

"Do you think ..." Yuuya chuckles, his cheeks already reddening. "Do you think we've become the heroes we always wanted to be?"

"Yes," Yuuto says, so quickly that Yuuya's eyes widen to the size of dinner plates. "Without a doubt, yes."

* * *

_I don't regret my actions, my choices – my courage or my hope._

_In this life, my friends are happy. I get monthly letters from Yuuma who travels all around the world looking for ancient artefacts and dueling. I'm not sure how much those two hobbies have in common, but I'm rooting for him every step of the way. I get so excited when I see all the stamps on Yuuma's packages – he's going places!_

_I also get phone calls from Yuugo! He doesn't like to write – he says he did enough of that in school. But Yuugo calls me up and tells me about his and Rin's famous mechanic shop that is drawing clientele all across the dimensions. In fact, Rin and Yuugo have been travelling too – they're both going out into the field and repairing vehicles in rural communities as part of a humanitarian project they are funding._

_Then there are all my friends in Maiami City._

_There's Serena, a school counselor. I never pegged her as the type to talk about feelings and listen to others, but when I was asleep she became much more empathetic. She's also a sports coach! I stop by her place from time to time, or we meet up and drink coffee. When I have thoughts on my mind, I go to her for support. Though Serena regrets my accident and thinks it was because of her, she also knows that all along I was being lured out and that I was playing right into Heartland's trap._

_Reira works at the school too – he's an elementary school teacher! I would love to be a student in Reira's class because I'm sure I would be taken care of. Reira has come out of his shell over the years, and while he's quiet at parties, I love hearing about his day. He still keeps in touch with his grandmother, and has reached out to his mother on several occasions. Tentatively, that relationship is being rebuilt. It's an ongoing process, and Reira says they will never be that close – but after learning what her mother was going through at the same time, Reira has become a bit more sympathetic._

_Then Yuuri. He's a doctor with a fancy degree and a posh lifestyle, and I love going over to his house and seeing the hundreds of exotic plants. Yuuri has actually been talking about dating Serena, and I hope he makes some moves! It's obvious how head-over-heels in love he is with her, and I think Serena likes him too._

_Yuuto is a lawyer. He still works with Durbe, and together the two of them are the best lawyers in all of the dimensions. Yuuto has achieved his dreams with grace and flair. I'm so happy for everything that he's achieved. Of all my friends, I see Yuuto the most – he comes over for dinner and snacks, or we go for walks together. Maybe it's the bond we developed as children, or the bond that grew when we caught the killer, but I feel like I know Yuuto the best._

_My friends ... are all grown up. They have big lives and bigger dreams, and I'm so happy for them. I'm happy that, after everything that has happened, that we can all move forward with courage. I'm so happy no one went missing, not even me._

_This is the dimension I want to live in – the dimension where no one is missing._

* * *

"Yuuya! Yuuya and Yoko!"

Yuuya raises his head towards the door. He can hear the sound of a million hands beating down the door, but when he goes to open it, the only person who stands at the entryway is Kotori, her hands folded neatly behind her back.

Then she shoves a paper forward for him to see – only Yuuya can't see, not with it smushed against his face. He steps back, chuckling, and lets Kotori come in through the door to kick off her shoes.

"Now," Yuuya says, plucking the paper from between her fingers, "what is ..."

He doesn't finish the words – doesn't need to. The paper looks formal, but the kanji at the top is from the prestigious Maiami Juniour High. Yuuya only knows about it because it's the feeder school into Maiami High, the high school Yuuto went to when he made the move from Heartland City to Maiami City. Yuuya glances down at the paper, at the delicate kanji that makes up the words: _Letter of Acceptance for Minami Kotori to Maiami Juniour High._

Yuuya feels his eyes fill with tears. "Congratulations, Kotori," he says, and then sniffles into his wrist. "Kotori, this is –"

"Hey, don't get snot on it!" She tears the paper out of his hands, and then rushes past him and into the kitchen. Yoko stands at the stove, cooking curry; in various other pots there are stewed meats and vegetables, dishes for dinner or take away lunches for when both of them have to go to work.

When Yuuya steps into the kitchen, he hears Kotori crow again, "My acceptance letter, Yoko! I'm going to middle school!"

Yoko embraces Kotori in a tight hug, pulling her to her chest. Kotori squeals with delight, kicking her feet back and forth. Even from just watching, Yuuya knows exactly what Kotori must be feeling; Yoko gives the warmest, tightest hugs. Yuuya feels the ghost of contact on his bare skin.

Grinning, Yuuya hurries back to his room. It's messy, his desk strewn with papers and drawings and reminders and references, but there's a small section dedicated for important papers that he doesn't want to lose. He plucks it off the desk and tucks it behind his back, and then carefully maneuvers out of the room.

He makes it two steps into the hallway before his mother comes around the corner wielding a serving spoon.

"What are you hiding behind your back, Yuuya?" she asks. _Tap, tap_ goes the spoon against her bare hand.

From behind her steps Kotori, still grinning ear to ear. She sees Yuuya's hands behind his back too, and chuckles. "Do you have a surprise too, Yuuya? Show me – show me what it is."

Yuuya knows he has a terrible poker face, and so he pulls the paper out from behind his back and shows it to them. Even though they're in a windowless hallway, and the afternoon sun has already begun to cast long shadows, Yoko and Kotori are still able to read it. Yuuya knows because their eyes widen to the size of moons, and their mouths drop open, and tears fill in Yoko's green eyes –

She embraces him. Yuuya feels her strong arms tug him close to her bosom. His mother is still round, and so when he squeezes her back he feels like he's snuggling into a soft pillow. There is hardy muscle too though from all the work she has done over the years, and so when she keeps squeezing him harder and harder and harder, Yuuya taps her on the back, saying, "Air, air."

"You don't need that," she teases, but she loosens her grip. "Yuuya, I'm – I'm so happy!"

Behind him, Yuuya can see the paper too: his high school graduation certificate. It came in the mail last week, but when Yuuya first saw it, he'd felt embarrassed. All of his friends had graduated and gotten degrees, and so a high school graduation didn't feel like anything special. Now though, Yuuya looks at it with the brightest smile on his face.

_It doesn't matter if I finished a bit later; everyone gets where they need to go._

Yuuya presses his lips close to Yoko's ear, and softly, with the words of a snake, whispers to her, "Have I finally beat you in something?"

Yoko cuffs him over the ear. "I've done _very_ well without my high school degree, thank you very much. But still ..." She laughs, giving him another squeeze. "I'm so happy for you, Yuuya – for everything you've done, are doing, and want to do. I'm so proud of you."

Kotori tumbles behind him, crushing Yuuya between her and Yoko. Yuuya feels like the centre of the universe, and he settles against his mother, listening to the pitter-patter of her heartbeat and feeling the rises and falls of her chest. Even when she lets go, Yuuya still feels like he's being held and guided along.

"You should hang this in your room," Yoko says. "Along with all your storyboards."

Yuuya laughs. "Those don't need to be –"

"Storyboards?" Kotori says, eyes widening. "Yuuya, are you – are you a manga artist?"

Yuuya feels his cheeks darken. "Well I wouldn't say that, but I'm ..."

Yoko cuffs him on the head. "Yes, you are – and you're published. Here, Kotori – let me show you something." Yoko pulls out her cell phone and begins flipping through photos. Some of them Yuuya remembers seeing: him and his co-workers crowded around the kitchen table, drawing, inking; adding color-tones and dialogue to his manga. Then there are photos of everyone getting drinks, and of them sitting on the floor – the table covered in papers – eating curry. There are even photos Yuuya doesn't remember Yoko taking, such as the shots of him passed out on his desk, ink on his cheeks.

Though his cheeks are redder than blood, Yuuya feels his lips quirk in a smile. He toys with a piece of his bangs, twirling it round his finger. "Yeah," he says, "I guess I am."

"You have a meeting today too," Yoko says with a wink.

Yuuya's heart leaps into his throat. "I – I do?" He doesn't waste time, feet skidding across the ground as he dashes into his room. Sure enough, on one of the many sticky notes is a little reminder that he has a storyboard meeting today with his publishing company. Quickly, Yuuya throws on a clean pair of slacks and a dress shirt. He grabs all the papers he thinks he needs, and maybe a few more for good measure, and then dashes back out the door.

In the hallway, Yoko and Kotori make way for him to pass, though they don't hide their smirks.

"I'm not late," Yuuya says under his breath. He flops down on the genkan, yanking on his boring loafers and zipping up his peacoat. When he turns around, Yoko holds out an umbrella for him.

"Sure you aren't," she says. "After all, you have five minutes –"

Yuuya snatches up the umbrella. He flings the door open, but before he hurries down the stairs, he calls back to them, "See you!"

The wind eats up their replies.

Outside, it's snowing so much that the sky is an ever-falling cascade of white. It looks like the clouds themselves have been shredded and tumbled to the ground; sure enough, the pavement and grass are covered by at least an inch of snow. Yuuya doesn't remember walking in the snow yesterday, and when he woke up he didn't see this much snow.

It is beautiful though. As Yuuya travels along small, cement paths weaving in and out of Maiami City, he feels like he sees his own hometown, Heartland City, all around him. Some of Yuuya's fondest memories are simply walking around in the cold. When Yuuya sees giant mounds of snow, he thinks about how he and his friends used to climb and slide down the ice and snow. When he sees snowman, he thinks about making snow sculptures at recess. Even when he slips on the snow, Yuuya remembers skating on the ice.

Like Heartland City, Maiami City also has a river – larger so that Yuuya can't see to the other side, but even just walking along it brings back memories of heading to the hideout and eating snacks and playing board games. According to Yuugo, the secret base is still around, and Yuugo and Yuuri left surprises for any other children who might come across it.

Yuuya's manga publisher works at one of the large, sky-scraping buildings in Maiami City. The building looks to be made entirely out of glass, though when Yuuya steps inside the palace, he sees that it's all single-sided mirrors. As he heads down hallways and through elevators, Yuuya spots the world outside, blanketed in snow. It falls from the sky in such large heaps that, by the time the meeting is over, Yuuya thinks the city will be drowned in white.

The elevator doors open just a pinch before his editor calls out, "Yuuya! Are you cold? Come on in – in before you let all the heat escape!"

Yuuya raises an eyebrow – he can't just close the elevator. But before he can respond, his editor tugs him along. Sawatari Shingo reminds Yuuya of Yuugo with more theatrics and less hotheadedness. He's supported Yuuya's manga ever since he first brought it in, calling it a "future classic" and a "timeless masterpiece." Yuuya can't even get a single word in when Shingo starts monologuing, so he follows him through the office and to Shingo's desk.

Shingo's office is as fabulous as he is. Yuuya doesn't say it, not when he's already feeling a bit embarrassed from all the praise, but he thinks it as he gazes around the room. Shingo has so many pictures of himself and his friends at all sorts of venues and parties. He has memorabilia and figures from the mangas he's helped produced, and then those that have become hit animes.

Without a word, Shingo pushes a piece of paper across the desk.

Yuuya doesn't even get past the second word – he just starts crying.

"Hey, hey!" Shingo says, pushing him back a bit. "Not on the desk, you're going to get everything wet!"

Yuuya shakes his head, wiping at his eyes with his dress shirt sleeves. There, on the desk, is the acceptance for his manga to become an anime production – in Yuuya's mind, the greatest honour as a manga artist. But even when Yuuya's mind sticks with the present, the slivers of memories from the past arise to face him. Back then, in the first timeline, he didn't have any of this. No one would publish his manga; no one would take on his series. There wasn't even a chance in hell that it would become an anime.

But now.

Yuuya brings a hand to his lips, muffling a sob caught in his throat.

Shingo leans forward on the desk, eyes glimmering. "You know," he says, "there's a lot of _you_ in this work, and I think that's what makes it so magical. It's like I get to know you even before you say anything – as if this story could only ever be drawn by you."

Yuuya nods his head. "T-thanks," he says, voice choked.

Leaning across the desk, Shingo captures his hand. "Good work today, Yuuya. Let's make this story famous!"

Yuuya keeps nodding his eyes. His eyes are full of unshed tears, and when he can at last bring his hands back, he buries his face in them and mops himself up. Yuuya feels like he's been crying tears of joy all day, even though it's only the mid-afternoon. And though he feels exhausted, like his body has run two marathons back to back, his soul feels lighter than a feather.

"Can I send you home in tears?" Shingo says, eyes twinkling. "Clean yourself up first and then head out – you should be celebrating, not crying."

"Thanks," Yuuya says again. He looks back down at the paper, eyes glistening. Who would have thought that this would be the timeline he missed, the timeline he was always looking forward to? In this timeline, in this city, Yuuya has achieved miracles. He's fought and struggled and _overcome,_ and so when Yuuya steps back out into the main offices, gazing out upon rows and rows of desks and office workers, Yuuya feels like he's stepped into an alternate universe.

 _This is the life I was meant to live – the life we were_ all _meant to live._

Outside, it still snows in giant heaps, and Yuuya seeks refuge under the umbrella. He passes by pedestrians and cars; sees the little bikes meant to deliver pizzas. Certain areas of the city seem a bit more familiar to Yuuya than others thanks to the previous memories. Though Yuuya has never experienced a rerun since his accident, he still holds onto the feelings of those alternate lives in Heartland City and Maiami City.

Gazing up into the snow, Yuuya wonders how many winters he's missed that looked like this.

_Fifteen years. I was asleep for fifteen years. I have memories of alternate lives, but my time here ... is shorter._

Yuuya smiles.

_That's all right though. In those fifteen years that I was asleep, I had friends and family fighting for me, taking care of me, keeping in touch with me. I was never alone, no matter where I was. When Yuuto says, 'Don't be proud of your coma! That sounds terrible!' I want to remind him again and again that because of the ways things happened – the crimes, the investigations, the injuries – I have become who I've always dreamt of being. I'm proud of what I did in the past because I don't think I made any wrong choices._

_Above all else, I'm proud of the friends I made and took care of, and of the friends who took care of me. And so even if I lost fifteen years of my life, I don't regret it – because the dimension where only I am missing is still a place where my treasured friends and family lived, and where my fondest memories were created. And I wouldn't change those memories for anything._

In the corner of his vision, Yuuya sees the blue river. It's the only part of the city with colour; everything else has been dabbed white. Carefully, Yuuya makes his way down the river and walks along the weaving boardwalk. In the distance, he sees a familiar bridge, and even though he can't put his finger on it, he remembers this place. The bridge itself is just steel and rock formed together, but underneath there is space – and colour – and so Yuuya tucks himself underneath the bridge and out of the snow.

_I've been here before._

Yuuya knows it. At the corners of his vision, there's a memory of sitting here with someone else, avoiding the snow and life and everything else.

Then Yuuya sees colour fleeting through the white background, a pink scarf fluttering in the breeze. As the figure approaches, Yuuya sees that it's a girl, and that not just her scarf is pink – no, her hair too. She has on a peacoat too, but the snow has clung to her head and shoulders, and she shakes it all away when she gets to the bridge. Despite looking like she's frozen, her pink cheeks give her a warm blush that extends down to her lips curled into a bright smile –

Yuuya's throat goes dry. This ... this girl –

"Hey," Yuzu says, "can I hang out here for a sec? The snow is really coming down."

Wordlessly, Yuuya nods.

_Yuzu, you're here too._

Yuuya beckons her under the bridge, and she crouches down, back to the wall of the bridge. She keeps smiling at him, and blowing into her cold hands. She watches him too, and Yuuya feels like he's under her intense stare. He can't say anything though – can't get his mouth to move how he'd like it to.

"Say," Yuzu says after a moment, "do I know you from somewhere? You look awfully familiar."

Yuuya swallows thickly. "I think I've seen you before ... too."

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! this is the final chapter!! originally, i was going to write some Yuzu POV chapters, but then i ended up siding against that just because i felt like this story was done for me. nonetheless, i want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for all your sweet comments. this fic has been ongoing for over a year, and it's thanks to your support that i felt this story flourish and grow. this is my longest fic and first crossover and i'm immensely proud of it <33 i learnt a lot through writing Dimension, and i hope this story has inspired you.
> 
> the final bottom image was a present from my girlfriend who has inspired me as i wrote this, and was arted by [dark-angel-of-muses](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com/) and posted with permission. she has a [KoFi](https://ko-fi.com/H2H5B28I) and takes [commissions](https://dark-angel-of-muses.tumblr.com/commissions).
> 
> if you'd like, let me know in a comment what you thought of the story!  
> cheers and thank you, everyone!!
> 
> \- Lily-liegh

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to ask questions or come say hi to me on tumblr [@lily-liegh](https://lily-liegh.tumblr.com/) <3


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